@savethebay sent: “i wish you’d stop trying to destroy yourself in some misguided effort to feel worthy.” — From Victoria Chase to Nathan Prescott.
A jittery, bitter scoff bubbled up from the back of his throat and tumbled past chapped lips as Victoria’s words registered in his head. Feeling worthy.. Nathan wondered what that was like. Mistreated and made to feel anything but by his dad since the moment he’d entered this world, he’d grown up believing he was worthy of nothing but the worst life had to offer. Perhaps that’s why he clung to Jefferson, so. At least he didn’t try to sugarcoat that he was a bad person.. not anymore.
“Fuckin’ keep your voice down.” A sharpish snap that had his knee furiously bobbing faster underneath their booth’s table, anxious eyes glancing left to right as if searching for something in particular. The last thing he needed was some nosy motherfucker in the Two Whale’s Diner of all places to overhear his business. “Sorry.. sorry. I just don’t need more people thinking I’m weak, y’know?” Victoria was perhaps his only real friend in this shithole of a bay. Did he really want to lose her for talking to her like crap?
She was, despite how her Blackwell reputation of being notorious Queen B portrayed her, a good friend.
Migraine still dully throbbing away and blurring the edges of his vision with black dots, Nathan brought both hands up to massage at his temples. Maybe he shouldn’t have partied too hard last night with the rest of the Vortex Club, but.. drinking and toking up was the only way to expel the image of Rachel Amber’s pale, dead face and lifeless eyes that bore into him every time he attempted to sleep. Her ghost was haunting him.
If only he could tell Victoria that, huh? She’d probably run a mile if she knew half of what he’d done. “I dunno what to do anymore, Vic. I don’t sleep anymore. Can’t eat..” Even just being surrounded by food and the delicious aromas wafting throughout the small diner made him want to vomit.
