But how do you "pay attention to the observer"? Are there any exercises or anything like that?
The observer is simply the part of you that notices your thoughts without being them. A easy way to find it: next time you're anxious or frustrated, pause and ask — who is noticing this?
The anger is there, but something in you is watching the anger, and that watcher isn't angry at all. That's it. That's the observer.
You can practice this anywhere — sitting in traffic, mid-argument, 3am spiral — just name what's happening like weather: "there's anxiety" instead of "I am anxious."
That tiny shift creates distance. Or try watching your thoughts like cars passing on a street — you're not the cars, you're the one at the window. You'll get pulled in, lose yourself in a thought, then suddenly catch yourself.
That moment of catching yourself? That is the practice. The returning is the whole thing. Do it enough and you'll find something underneath all the noise that doesn't move — steady, quiet, unshakeable.
Once you feel it even once, you'll know exactly what people mean, and you won't be able to un-find it.