...forget me not—five. best options
༯ casts. reader x park jisung
༯ content warning. none
༯ the stats. 3.6k words | fluff
༯ trope. lost love, memory loss, mind forgets but the heart remembers, exes to lovers
༯ the navi. one | two | three | four | five
Jisung and Renjun rushed you to the hospital, and although with the questions flying, he knew he had to patiently wait for you to tell him the truth.
Your mother loved you; she had no doubts about your capability. After all, you never gave her a reason not to be, even your siblings. Three perfect children blessed her, and she's thankful for that. But after your accident, she had no choice but to hold everything back for you. You planned to get your master's quickly after your bachelor's—yet that wasn't such a great plan if you'd forgotten all of the things you knew the past four years in college, when all you thought was that you were still in your childhood body. You nearly screamed when you saw two of your siblings fully grown, because you couldn't recognize either of them. Your mother had to baby you again; she had to get you to make your own choices. Until she realized certain things would trigger blackouts—they're inconsistent, so she never really knew which ones would trigger them. Sometimes it's a random memory; other times, it's a small material that doesn't hold much significance.
Hence, she became more cautious and only gave you freedom at home. Going outside was forbidden—not really, but you need supervision; your sister, brother, or Ms. Lim next door.
Your sister was the one who tried to help you recover your memories, with a little help from your brother, too. They weren't friends with any of your friends, but they saw them in passing. How they managed to get off the radar, you have no idea. With Ningning's family in the same line of business as yours, it's a miracle they haven't tried to contact you—well, they did, but your family won't pick up. Your friends did have their suspicions, but what could college kids do against your family's strong security measures?
So now, as your mother looks at you, she wants to be angry—but seeing poor Jisung crying over you as you lay in the hospital bed after losing your consciousness, she couldn't bring herself to do that. Of course, she knew who this kid was; she was aware of your relationship with him. You talked about how much you loved him and how you would love to marry him someday. But fate had other plans and decided to steal what was supposed to be yours to begin with.
When morning came, Jisung wouldn't leave your side. "I'll look after her." He says, with puffy eyes and a red nose from constant sniffing. Your mother didn't want to leave. You are her baby; she should be the one here, but Jisung saw the hesitation in her eyes, so he smiled and reassured her that. "You need to rest, ma'am. You came here right after work, might as well sleep it off first." Your mother couldn't say no because she was tired.
Now that he is left alone, Jisung sat on the couch. The doctor said you're okay, you just needed rest, so you're just sleeping now. It shook him to the core when he found out why you had been the way you are. The doctor did say that your brain probably worked so hard to recall things that it took a toll on you. Of course, since you were a regular here, the nurses and everyone else knew about you. When Jisung asked why it had to happen, the nurses explained that it usually happens to those with amnesia. The nurse wasn't stupid; she realized Jisung didn't understand what was happening, so she stopped saying things she shouldn't have. Jisung had started to malfunction, so she asked, "Are you aware?" Aware? Aware of what? Jisung already had a gist. He couldn't fathom that it happened to you, to the girl he wanted to be with.
It made his blood cold, how you had almost lost your life. When did it happen? Was the guy responsible behind bars? Was it even deliberate? God, he didn't even know what to do; he's just sitting there motionlessly, thinking about those times when he'd curse you out for leaving him there. Thinking that you didn't actually want to marry him, how he was spamming your phone with passive-aggressive retorts. No, not angry—he couldn't even try to snap at you even in texts or personal, he loved you too much…and he loves you still.
Now, with much clarity, he knows you were not at fault—that you weren't pretending to act as if nothing happened. He held your hand as you slept through, letting his lips linger on your fingers and counting each one. Sniffing away his tears until morning comes, and his hyung, Renjun, comes in with worry in his voice, greeting the young man with flowers in his hand and takeout from the diner Jisung loved. He could barely eat, but when Renjun quietly seethes through his teeth, he knew he had to say his peace. "You should be careful with her when she wakes up." Jisung only nodded, and after a few words to share, talking about games, concerts, and arts, Renjun had to leave. As he passes through the threshold, he looks back at his friend, whose body seems lifeless as his only love sleeps through the whole thing.
Not long after Renjun left, you woke up. Head pounding just a little, but not worse. The boy beside you panics; he doesn't know what to say, so he has his eyes wide open as you reach for the water bottle on the nightstand. Jisung reaches over to assist you, still silent.
As you finally regain a smoother tone of voice, you look at Jisung. Although the pounding in your head is still there, you still feel okay. "Hi." You greeted, both palms resting on your blanket-clad thighs, and your back straightened. "Are you okay?" You asked, head tilting as you try to get him to look you in the eye, but all he does is dodge it, as a child scolded.
But you knew how much he cried last night. You may not have been as conscious as you wanted, but as your awakeness slips through a few times for the whole duration in the hospital, you were able to pick up his sobs, his apologies—so unnecessary, because why does he have?
You chuckled and lifted his head by his chin. "I know you have so much to ask—"
"No, I don't." Cutting you off, but you didn't have a problem with that; you listened to him. "I get what happened, and I won't ask you to explain—or demand as to why you didn't tell me. Hell, I don't even care that you had to be gone for years. I want you back. I want to start things with you again." He pauses, and his voice breaks a little, so he coughs out to begin his speech again, and you, on the other hand, just listened to him. "We can do it all again, better this time. With good communication, as an adult." He sobs this time, and that made you giggle before caressing his cheeks with your thumbs.
His babyface was a mess; tear-stricken cheeks and puffy eyes made you melt, pulling his face into your chest, and that's when he cried. Said his apologies and everything else that you couldn't understand; it was too many words muffled into your hospital gown, but he pulled away from that, instead stood up from his position, and hugged you himself. "I love you, and things weren't the best when I wasn't with you. I had to hook up with the girl who hated your ass." The sobs made his voice unstable, and made you laugh as you do. You knew he had to be grieving over your relationship, because it might as well be nonexistent at this point.
He'll have to restart it with you. "You need to calm down," you say in between your chuckles.
"How can I? I just found out that the love of my life didn't know who I was!" He argues, and you made a counterback, letting out a scoff in offense, and pulling away from his embrace.
"I'll have you know that I do, in fact, remember you; I just didn't have enough supporting proof for our relationship." You frowned in return as he tucked a hair behind your ear. "My sister and brother didn't put that in the memo book I had."
"A memo book?" He looks at you sideways, mouth on your neck as he tries to both let his desire for your warmth again on his lips, and also listen to what you have to say. He's curious as to what's inside this memo book. He'd love to see it someday. Is it a diary? What was his description in it? "What's in it?"
You didn't want to complain about his lips on your neck; he's neither sucking nor kissing—it's just sitting there while his breath lingers on your skin, making a moist spot, but you liked it. There are no butterflies either; he wasn't even trying to hog your space. Actually, you want him to invade your space. Arms tight around his torso, as you hummed in thought. "Just some descriptions about who's who. It's not even complete." You manage to say, because you knew he was about to ask if everyone's in there, given how his face brightens at the thought, and also because you're curious about everyone's details from people who didn't know your relationship.
"Sian and Sean did that?" He asked, voice muffling from your neck, and you could've sworn that there was a touch of saliva there.
"And mom." You added, "They made sure I won't be too obvious with my memory loss." Then he frowns at this. "It worked, even though I was obviously unaware of who's who." You gave him a mischievous look, and he scoffed at you in return. "I mean, you fell for it." You shrugged this time, but he still doesn't even think about letting you go.
"I thought you really didn't want me."
"I honestly don't." You smiled, and he huffed again, this time pulling away from the physical affection you both basked in; the hospital bed also shifted slightly from the sudden movement. "What? I really don't remember you, but I do feel connected…somehow." You smiled, reaching for his hands as he sulks. "I don't mind having you as my boyfriend again."
The red in his face makes it obvious that he's enjoying you, and you enjoy him. "You make it sound like I broke up with you." He leans forward, his tall figure so huge it cannot be unnoticed, as he hugs you again, your face buried in his chest and his chin on top of your head. "But yeah, I would love to have you again."
But of course, you just had to ruin everything by bringing up the girl he argued with over you. "What did you tell her?" You asked.
"Seriously—" He clicks his tongue. "We were having a moment here."
"But I want to know." You insisted. You're looking up to him this time, and he looks away with a groan.
"She wanted to make things official that day, but I refused."
You smiled at his honesty, and you were sure that he'd be loyal the whole time he was with you. It's only valid that he's been with other girls; he already thought you were never gonna meet again, so he did his best to try to move on—and failed miserably. But at least he's got you now.
You pulled away from his hug. "You still have a lot of explaining to do." You pouted, and his chest vibrated with his own chuckles.
"Me? You have a lot of explaining to do." His fist covering his own laughter as he looked at you accusingly, the same way you are. "Or are we going to keep arguing who has more to say than the other?"
"Touché." Your shoulders lift a little before a series of nods.
The week after was hectic, with how you had to meet with everyone. Some of them cried—the girls and maybe tears from Jaemin, but he wasn't crying—after they found out about it. And how everything made sense when they realized that you were far from your ordinary attitude. The outgoing personality, not the quiet one, they've been exposed to in the past few months. They only thought that you had outgrown your college persona, that maybe change was inevitable for you.
Jisung was quiet — when was he ever loud — while you explained, but he needed his emotional support hand—yours—to get through it without crying again. Some of them took offense; Chenle, for example, when he realized how you barely acknowledged him the first time you met with them again. "So this whole time you don't remember me?" He scoffs, arms folded as he makes that face he does.
"No." You said plainly, the whole room laughs at this, not for fun, but to lighten up.
"You can't forget that you called me a sharpy one time." His nose flared, and you knew he wasn't mad, just faking it. Jisung occupies the space behind you on the couch, insisting that he supports you that way, and occasionally rubs your back when you're about to slip off your words — an encouraging way to remind you to slow down, that you can take your time.
You squinted your eye as you tried to recall that, and although it was blurry, you thought you could remember. "Only because you kept pushing that I had a boyfriend even after I said I had none." You frowned, and Jisung laughed softly, pulling on your hand as he tried to calm you down.
"Okay, alright. Knock it off." Renjun says.
Jaemin steps in. "You were aggressive then, Chenle-ya." Jeno, beside him, nods, and the girls smile at the interaction, suggesting that despite your disposition, your dynamic within the group remains unchanged.
Chenle defends himself, feeling he's losing the argument he started. "In my defense, I was looking out for my friend—Ya! Jisung-ah, help me out here!" He snaps Jisung out of his fantasy, making him seethe through his teeth and look at him, desperate friend. "You can't leave me out here, just because you got your girl back." Chenle snaps, making hand gestures. Jisung only sticks out his tongue as he nuzzles his face into your neck.
Everyone softens—well, except for Chenle, as he still tries to make a point—at Jisung to have him back again, finally. He was self-destructive after you disappeared, and your return was a way to have him back again, finally. "Forgive our sweet amnesiac, Chenle-ya. She had to go through everything alone, y'know." Aeri says with a shrug, clearly on your side, and an insistent Chenle turns to argue with her instead, with a few here and there from Ningning. You also just found out that Ningning and Chenle had a brief fling after college, but it didn't work out because they were too similar, according to both of them.
Jisung, finally not being in the spotlight, kissed your neck softly—he's been doing that a lot lately, "Do you want to go on a date this Saturday?"
You looked at him while the argument in the background became white noise—an argument ranging from your brain condition to food. "This Saturday?" You asked quietly, forehead almost on his, and he hums.
"Is that okay with you?" He was worried; he didn't want to push you too much. He's already that much in love with you, and his body only responds to your desires. You could see his tail wagging as he awaits your sweet reply. "It's okay if you're not ready for that." You could sense how his voice signals his mood—slowly decreasing—when you took too long to respond.
You pretend to think, and as you do, you observe his body language; the hopeful glance, the mouse-glass eyes—you really think he looks like a white rat now. Although his hopeful look slowly fades as you fail to answer, you managed to gain it back when you agreed with a simple yes.
"You can choose the spot, I'll be in charge of everything." You smiled at his confidence.
"I should also get a job."
"You don't need it, I'm the only job you need."
A few months after that, you made as many memories with Jisung and the others. You managed to try out things you weren't allowed to do. You worked at your mom's company with your siblings, while Jisung works from home. You were also still uncovering some memories; you don't get as many lapses, but they are still there. It worries Jisung, so he understands the precautions your mother has to take to keep you safe. He is also still wary about bringing up the proposal back in college, but he's slowly trying to get it there. You kept urging him to tell you the story you had back then, yet he refused you every time. His excuse? He doesn't want you exhausting your brain too much.
His worries were valid; after all, you do tend to overthink it, straining your brain despite your doctor's warnings. "But I wanna know." You push, trying to persuade him as he gets up from the couch to go to his fridge and take out another cold beverage, holding it out to you like it's what you needed. Yet you didn't hesitate to take it, even drank from it, making a pause from the conversation before getting right back to bothering your boyfriend.
He doesn't look pissed. You think he likes that you're even chasing him around for some answers. "Babe, we can take it slow—"
"But it ain't sex!" You whined, your feet on the floor making thumping sounds as you stepped forward. He's leading you back to the couch, you sit down passively, and his arms are around your shoulders. He takes the bottle from you and drinks from it, and he shifts his focus to the TV—some comedy series you've been watching for the past hour. "Jisung~"
He snaps his head back to you. "When you're ready."
"But I am ready."
He recalls the time he proposed, and you left him hanging for four years. He didn't want to jinx it; he really does want to marry you. Especially now. But that made him feel doubt, so he held back from telling you. "Next time." He pulls you close, kissing your temple as you pout, knowing that he probably won't be telling you soon.
It wasn't until November came that Chenle proposed to his two-month girlfriend—everyone wasn't surprised because he was a spontaneous person—that you also brought up his proposal. You asked him if it was a grand one, but then you took it back by saying how he probably couldn't afford a grand proposal since you guys were in college. He was making a face as you created scenarios as to how he delivered his own version of the proposal, but you were right about it not being grand; the ring was expensive. He still had it; he kept it deep in his underwear drawer so you wouldn't bother.
"I'll have you know that it was a simple dinner." He scoffed.
You smiled mischievously, hidden of course. Luring Jisung in to talk more about your college relationship dynamic, and boy was clueless. He yapped finally, and all you did was look at him, admiring how he seemed to relive those memories only he had, because yours were wiped out. Then came the part you looked forward to: you two are in his car now, heading home, passing by headlights as he tells you the story about how much he thought about wanting to marry you, and then how he finally realized that saying something might lead to a worrisome event. "Just say it, I'm not fragile." You trace the hair on his nape, and he leans in as he drives.
He sighs, and as he pulls over the driveway, his home in full view, he unbuckles his seatbelt and yours, pulling you over to him and meeting your lips halfway through. He wanted to pull you in as he deepened the kiss. "I love you."
"I know."
"So you have to understand—"
"Nope, you have to tell me now." You demanded, still sitting on his lap with your arms folded. "Jisung, I'm doing better. You don't need to worry, stop worrying." Kissing his cheek.
"But I don't want to lose you again."
"Lose me? You never lost me. Don't hold back just because of my lapses; it's manageable." You frowned when he looked away from you. "I don't want to dance around with you like this, I don't want to regret things just because you can't tell me shit."
"I only want the best for you."
"And the best option is for you to tell me."
And finally, he folds. Sighing in defeat before covering his face in his palms, then shifting his gaze from the window to yours. "I want to marry you so bad." That's all he says before letting his head fall onto your chest. Your chest vibrates from the chuckle, as you held up his face to yours, his eyes closed, and his lips puckered up for a kiss, so you obliged.
"Then, marry me."
It might've been difficult for Jisung to get through his stories, but as he delved deeper into his own memory, sharing them with you made it feel like you were living them again, even though you were only hearing them, and you made your own version in your head. He went through a dark time without you, and you managed to bring it back by just adding yourself into the equation. You could only look forward to the things you have right now, and what you could do after, because time never runs out when it's just the two of you.
Note: not edited
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