#lee jeno

[wishforjei]

NSFW audio! 🎧

stroking jaemin off while jeno eats you out.

[withlovemark]

“FLYING KISS”

pairing: childhood best friend! lee jeno x nerd! reader | genre: rom-com | words: 23k+

synopsis -> you and lee jeno go way back, as in diapers and all that. before he was known as the chill fuckboy, he was an all time nerd! just like you! tired of being a loser who can’t even get the guy you wanted, you badly needed tips and a makeover. who’s better to ask for help than your childhood best friend, who has proven that a nerd can be hot?

warnings -> guaranteed giddiness! pet name unlocked: bunny, two dumb idiots, jeno is a yearner!!!, slow burn? kinda but once it starts, it starts, mentions of: car crash, a deceased parent, too many side characters from other groups, +18, crude language, mentions of fuck-boys, parties, drinking, a fight between the boys, blood, a nasty cut, heavy on the smut! reader is a virgin, lots of fingering, oral (m+f), handjob, blowjob, mention of mutual masturbation, corruption kink, pop the cherry!, soft sex, exhibitionism, jeno is a dirty dirty boy with lots of dirty thoughts and a dirty mouth.

an -> the second installment of the loverboy series is yours! this one literally just flowed through me, i could not stop writing, squealing and giggling at this trope. i’m dreading leaving them behind. you do not need to read stupid cupid to understand this story but here are some important things to take note of: 1) jeno is the chill fuckboy, he does not like the whole hopping to one girl to another thing so he gets into a lot of meaningless situationships with girls he does not care about 2) jaemin is currently the only happily taken member of the dream fraternity, he calls his gf: angel. k, have fun reading, with love, c!

the library buzzed with the soft hum of university life filled with quiet chatter, the occasional laugh and the rustling of pages. there were small groups of friends in heated discussions, catching up on life or laughing over a joke. some were hunched over textbooks, deep in concentration, others were lost in their books, barely blinking, while a few had surrendered to sleep, heads resting on their arms. and, tucked away in the back, were the ones who thought they were subtle – furtive glances, sneaky touches, stolen kisses.

there was a place for everyone in the library and it was your favorite place in the entire world.

but right now, as you watch your long-time crush, third year business major, the soccer team’s mvp, jung sungchan, stick his tongue down a random girl’s throat, you can’t help but feel like your safe haven has been tainted.

the grip you had on your pencil tightens as your eyebrows furrowed at the scene that played out, jealousy taking over your features. out of all the places on campus, he had to choose your spot. you have half the mind to report to the librarian. you were already classified as the school’s nerd, why not add snitch to your dictionary?

“what’s that look on your face?,” your best friend’s voice pulled you back to earth, playful, as he plopped down on the seat next to you.

jeno has been fated to be your best friend way before you were even born. with your dad’s being the best of friends, it was written in the stars, whether you liked it or not.

but you liked it, and so did he.

if it wasn’t for jeno, you might have ended up a complete social outcast. thanks to his status and the fact that you were always seen together, people decided you were tolerably weird. you weren’t nose-picking weird or talking to yourself in the hallways weird, just…a little awkward.

and if it wasn’t for you, jeno probably wouldn't have made it into university to begin with. you tutored him in almost every class, every time he struggled with anything school related, he ran to you, from elementary school to university, you were practically his teacher.

they say university is supposed to be the place where you let go of your childhood self and finally grow up. yet here you are now, a third year student and you still haven't quite grown into the lady you were supposed to be. trends went over your head, fashion didn’t interest you and makeup was harder than your architect class. half your wardrobe was made up of high school leftovers, you were still sporting bangs that you had from middle school and you never really saw the point in “fixing yourself up.”

at least, one of you did — jeno somehow made his way into the dream fraternity and somehow earned the title the chill fuckboy. it was odd, seeing people start treating him differently. even odder when you started to see girl’s eyes follow him like he was some kind of lead in a main k-drama and then land on you with a confused gaze. like they couldn’t understand why he was friends with someone like you.

“nothing,” you say quickly, finally tearing your eyes away from sungchan and forcing your attention on the assignment in front of you.

jeno, not satisfied with your answer, followed your earlier gaze, a light chuckle slipping past his lips, “aww, does my little bunny wunny have a crush?,” he cooed, reaching over to pinch your cheek, his trademark eye smile on display.

bunny was the nickname he had given you when you both were eight years old. in some twisted doom, like you were always going to be life’s punching bag, all your baby teeth fell out at the same time, leaving only the two front teeth behind. these days, he throws in a ridiculous wunny at the end just to piss you off.

“shut up jeno,” you scowl, swatting his hand away and adjusting your glasses back into place.

he chuckles, unfazed, before pulling out his own assignments and settling in beside you. a comfortable silence draping over the two of you, easy and familiar.

but your mind was still reeling. you wanted, so badly, to be the girl who was kissing sungchan instead of the nerd he only acknowledged when he needed answers for a test. you wanted to hold his hand, to walk around campus with him, to be the one sitting in the back of the library.

you wanted to be the girl that people wanted to be.

your gaze drifts to your best friend. jeno hadn’t always been this effortlessly put-together, with his hair perfectly styled, clothes fitting him properly, and those annoying sculpted arms that somehow always had a girl clinging to them.

you’re reminded of a different version of him – the times when you had matching glasses, his head way too big for his body, the endless rotation of naruto and pokemon t-shirts he always had on and the way he would stutter every time a pretty girl would even look at his direction.

if he could grow into the handsome, confident man he is now, why couldn’t you?

and then, just like that, a lightbulb flickers on.

“...neno,” you call out to him, sweetly.

jeno eyes you with immediate suspicion, you only use that nickname when you want something from him, “what?,” he asks, an eyebrow raised.

“we’re best friends, right?,” you ask, innocently blinking up at him.

“is the sky blue???,” he shoots back, voice dripping with playful sarcasm. you ignore it, too caught up in the plan buzzing in your head.

“so, as my best friend, you’d do anything for me, right?,” you press, excitement coursing through.

he narrows his eyes, “that depends on what you’re about to ask from me,” he says, looking at you with a mixture of suspicion and mild horror.

“make me hot,” you say, dead serious.

jeno chokes on absolutely nothing, eyes going wide as the words hit him, “what?!.” he hisses, half-whisper, half-scream, as if you just confessed to a felony. a few heads turned your way and you can’t help but blush under the sudden attention.

“you’re so dramatic!,” you whisper, shrinking behind your books. all your previous confidence, going down the drain as you finally realized what you just asked him to do.

jeno charmingly waves, muttering his apologies until the curious stares faded and the library’s usual hush returned.

“y/n,” he said, suddenly serious, gaze locked on you, “what do you mean by ‘make you hot’?” his entire focus on you.

you sigh, heat crawling up your neck, “nevermind, jeno, it’s nothing,” you say, grabbing the nearest book, hoping to bury this conversation along with your pride.

before you could turn a page, jeno snatches it away from you, “hey, no secrets between us remember,” he said, gently but firmly.

you stared at the table, lips pressed into a thin line, weighing the embarrassment against the aching truth in your chest, “i just meant…help me be desirable, i’m tired of being a nerd, jeno. i just want someone to look at me and think i’m pretty,” you admit, too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

“i think you’re pretty, bunny,” he says quietly.

you groaned, immediately burying your face in your hands. this was too embarrassing. you felt like you were fishing for compliments.

“ugh, you’re only saying that because you’re my best friend and our dads will literally kill you if you don’t,” you say, voice muffled by the table below you.

jeno chuckles lightly beside you, “i’m not just saying that.”

you sit back up slowly, looking him dead in the eye, “jeno, i’ve never been asked out, never held hands with someone, hell, i’ve never even kissed anyone,” you reason, head plopping back into your chair.

“—that’s not true!, you’ve kissed me,” he points out earning an eye roll from you.

“jeno we were 14 and i kissed you like how i would kiss my mom,” you say, “it doesn’t count,” you shut your eyes, silently begging the universe to erase this entire moment from existence.

but your words lingered in jeno’s head – the quiet desperation in your voice, the way your eyes had pleaded without meaning to and before he could even think twice, his mouth moved on its own.

“i’ll see what i can do,” he said. your eyes flew open, locking onto his with a sparkle that transferred over to his own.

“thank you, neno,” you grinned, ruffling his hair with a smirk, excitement bubbling through you.

he groaned in protest, batting your hands away but the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him.

a second later, his phone flashes on his side. one glance at the screen and he was already gathering his things, “gotta go, lia texted,” he said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

you nodded, smiling up at him, “have fun, don’t get pregnant,” you teased.

he chuckled, messing your hair up on his way out, “no promises,” he winked, making your face scrunch up in disgust. the image of your best friend having sex was not appealing at all.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

after spending a couple of hours buried in his current situationship’s legs, jeno finally made his way back to the dream house.

the conversation you had in the library constantly playing in his mind as he quickly barges into jaemin’s room, “dude-i oh…sorry!,” his eyes widen, apologizing as he redirects his stare at the ceiling, but doesn’t make an effort to leave.

jaemin scrambles to wrap the blanket around his girlfriend, who is currently face down, ass up with his dick still inside her, “dude!, get out!?,” he yells furiously, throwing a pillow at him.

“i need to ask you something,” jeno says, making jaemin groan, “can you ask me later?, im busy,” he grunts, his girlfriend still clenching tightly around him.

“oh…yeah, sorry…hi angel,” jeno mutters out, a playful smile on his lips before leaving and locking the door behind him, hearing an embarrassed, muffled, “hi jeno,” from jaemin’s girlfriend, on his way out.

“learn to lock the door!,” he laughed from the other side, the sound of skin slapping resuming as he made his way down the living room.

for the past few hours, your words had been playing on a loop in his head. he wasn’t sure where to start or how to go about helping you. not because he didn’t want to but because he’d never realized you needed that kind of help.

sure, he noticed that there were never any boys around, other than him, but he thought you preferred it that way. always scowling in disgust when a guy tries to get near you or even breathe the same air as you.

and besides the fact that he wanted to repay you for always helping him without asking for anything in return, he’d always thought you were pretty.

when you were six, with a scraped knee, and tear streaked cheeks after falling as you chased after his hamster who escaped - pretty.

when you were eight, missing all your teeth except the two in the front, food always ending up smeared all over your face - pretty.

when you were eleven, threatening all his bullies to stay away from him or you would call your dad - pretty.

when you were fourteen and you kissed him because you were curious why your parents were always kissing - so pretty.

when you were fifteen, drowning in a pink puffy dress that ate you up whole - ridiculous, but pretty.

when you were sixteen, at your mom’s funeral, crying on his shoulder, not allowing anyone else near you but him - hauntingly pretty.

when you were eighteen and you both had gotten your acceptance letters for university, excitedly jumping around together - pretty.

when you were twenty and crashed his car because you thought there was a dog on the road, only for it to be the shadow of the tree you crashed into - annoying, but still so damn pretty.

as your best friend, he wants you to see yourself the way he saw you.

if this was what it took to help you finally claim your confidence, then he’d do whatever it takes to make sure it worked. whether or not this was about impressing that boy you liked, he didn’t care. he just wanted to help you feel more sure of yourself.

an hour passed before jaemin finally joined him in the living room, immediately punching him in the arm, “learn to knock,” he huffs out before sitting next to his friend.

jeno chuckles, rubbing his arm, “i didn’t see anything, promise,” he turns to his friend, “you better not have or i’ll literally scoop your eyes out and feed it to you,” his friend grunts making him scrunch up in disgust.

“that’s disgusting,” jeno comments, the mental image making both of them squirm before bursting out into laughter.

“so what did you need?,” jaemin asks as soon as their laughter dies down.

“i actually need your girlfriend’s help,” he smiles sheepishly, piquing the other boy’s curiosity.

“with what?,” jaemin asks.

“with y/n,” jeno says before jaemin nods, getting up to get his girlfriend out of his room and into the living room. the rest of the boys knew who you were, of course, and as jeno had requested, they all looked out for you.

jaemin’s girlfriend listens intently at the plan jeno had - a makeover. he knew he needed a girl’s touch since he didn’t really know anything about the work that girls put into themselves to make them look ‘hot’.

he could argue he thought they just came that way. just like how you have always been pretty.

“well, im kind of done with all of that makeover and stuff,” she briefly smiles at her boyfriend, “but i do know the perfect girl,” shes says smiling, as jeno notes down the girls’ name, paying her a visit.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

two days later, jeno came prepared. plopping down in his usual seat in the library, right next to you, armed with a notepad that was opened to the page:

operation bunny’s glow-up

step 1: the makeover

step 2: closet cleanse and wardrobe upgrade

step 3: posture, confidence and flirting 101

step 4: bunny’s party reveal

you blinked at the notebook in front of you, registering the words written in jeno’s extremely neat handwriting, “what is this?”

“this,” he said, tapping the page, “is how i'm going to help you,” jeno explains.

there were too many steps and you’re suddenly so very aware how ridiculous this actually was, “can we just magically skip to step four where i’m already pretty and perfect and partying?,” you sigh, already feeling exhausted.

jeno almost wants to scold you for thinking you weren’t already pretty and perfect but remembered this is why he was doing this in the first place. to make sure you know you were pretty and perfect.

instead he says, “nope, this is a full process. you asked for my help and that’s what you’re getting, no backing out and definitely no easy way out.”

the sternness in his voice made you realize how serious he was about this. “you’re really gonna do all this for me, neno?,” you ask, a hint of gratitude shining in your eyes.

“of course i am, that’s what best friends are for,” he shrugs, ruffling your hair once again.

which is how you ended up here, seated in a salon chair with the girl you met just a couple minutes ago, your best friend leaving you all by your awkward self with no other than — giselle, third year cosmetology major and one of the school’s hottest girls.

her preppy personality was overwhelming, confidence radiating off her like perfume. you had no idea how to interact with her, no clue how any girl could be so aware of her beauty and completely own it the way she did.

it’s almost unfair how nice she was too. hot, popular girls were supposed to be mean, rude, intolerable. that’s how they’re portrayed in every teen movie you’ve seen. but giselle is kind, easygoing, talked to you like you weren't several social status’ below her in the pyramid you’ve made up.

“alright, so we’re gonna make sure your hair frames for your face perfectly and get rid of all your split ends,” she explains, hands already in motion as she fluffs your hair out, moving it around, parting it here and there to visualize what looks best on you.

once she figured it out, she let out a satisfied hum and got to work. the scissors glide gracefully, almost like they were an extension of her fingers and you can’t help but be mesmerized.

“so, how did you and jeno meet?,” she asks, casually starting the conversation as her hands continue to move through your hair.

“uhm, our parents are best friends,” you mumble, trying not to sound as stiff as you feel.

“ooh, that’s fun!,” she comments and you’re not entirely sure if she means it or if she’s just trying to be polite. either way, you appreciate her effort.

“and you’ve never had a crush on him?,” she adds, eyebrows raised. the shock on your face is evident, the very idea of having a crush on your best friend making your stomach twist.

“uhh no, i’ve never seen him that way,” you reply, a shudder slipping down your spine.

giselle laughs, clearly amused, “i see,” she hums, “your best friend is hot though, you know?,” you smile up at her, nodding, blush creeping up your cheeks.

of course you knew people considered jeno hot but you’re not entirely sure you agree with that statement.

he was the same boy who was crying to you because his hamster escaped, the same boy who got his braces stuck in your sweater, the same boy who ran away when you kissed him, the same boy who almost cried when your acceptance letter came in the mail first, his nowhere to be seen until a week later – your best friend was cute, the same way a puppy was cute.

“soo, who do you think is hot?,” she asks, playful curiosity dancing in her eyes.

is this what girl talk is?

“uhmm,” you shy away under her friendly gaze. you’ve never really had anyone to talk to about boys. with your mom passing away at an early age and all your girlfriends more interested in their anime crushes than real ones, this kind of conversation feels like uncharted territory.

“don’t worry, i'm really good at keeping secrets,” she says, urging you to go on. there’s something about her aura that you trust. and you knew that if jeno didn’t trust her, he wouldn’t have left you alone with her in the first place. so for the first time in your life, you indulge in girl talk.

“i think umm…i think sungchan is hot,” you mutter, shy, eyes immediately darting to the floor.

she gasps, an exaggerated, delighted sound, “i totally agree” she says giggling, “you have great taste,” she giggles. then, leaning in with excitement, she whispers, “i’m gonna make sure sungchan falls in love with you.”

you glance at her reflection in the mirror and despite yourself, a smile appears on your face, giddy and a little disbelieving.

“and…we’re done with your hair!,” she announces, your focus darting at your own reflection. your eyes widen slightly. she made your hair look like what you would see in the magazines – sleek, soft, effortlessly perfect.

the change in your appearance already reflecting back at you.

“this is just the beginning,” she whispers again, a friendly smile displayed on her lips.

she gently reclines the chair you were sitting on then tilts your chin up with practiced fingers, her eyes scanning your face with focused curiosity as she takes your glasses off, “hmm, okay,” she murmurs, turning your face side to side. you can’t help but feel awkward, gaze drifting everywhere else, avoiding eye contact.

“okay…i’m just gonna clean up your brows, and wax a little peach fuzz if that’s okay?,” she asks, voice light and reassuring. you nod, unsure what all that means but trusting her anyway.

giselle gets to work immediately, a new tool in her hand, and wax paper placed on your upper lip and in just twenty minutes, she steps back, satisfied.

your face looks softer…more defined. more you, somehow.

“you’re so pretty, y/n,” she says warmly, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “and we barely did anything.”

the compliment hits you harder than you expect. pretty wasn’t a word you would ever describe yourself yet here is one of the most beautiful girls you’ve ever seen calling you that. tears sting the corner of your eyes before you can blink them away.

“c’mon,” she says, voice still gentle but laced with excitement, “we’re not done, grab your stuff, we're going somewhere.”

after spending exactly thirty-two minutes in giselles car, singing along to the radio and laughing at her endless stream of chaotic stories, which you thought was something you’d never ever do, you were now at the mall. more specifically, standing in front of a waxing salon.

you shoot her a nervous glance, eyes wide with suspicion.

“i figured you’d be more comfortable with a stranger you’d never have to see again,” she says with a casual shrug, and suddenly it clicks why you’re here.

you knew what a waxing salon was, you just never thought you’d voluntarily stepped foot into one.

“this is my go-to, they get everything and it doesn’t hurt that bad,” she promises, reassuring, and you swore you look like a tomato with how much you’re blushing.

when giselle said they get everything, she meant they get everything.

even body parts that you didn’t think would have hair on them, body parts that no one else has seen but your own eyes. you almost can’t believe you were in this position right now, but giselle was right – a stranger was better for this. the only thing keeping you from bolting was the comforting knowledge that you’d never have to make eye contact with the person who was currently in between your legs again.

after an hour and several compromising positions later, you were finally done. your skin felt smoother than a baby’s, which was honestly kind of mind-blowing.

giselle was waiting for you at the reception, a bag in her hand, her eyes lighting up as soon as she saw you, “okay!, so i got you a little starter kit filled with makeup, skincare and all the other essentials,” she said, practically bouncing, “let’s go back to my place and i’ll teach you how to use it!”

her excitement was infectious and you couldn’t help but smile just as wide – her bubbly energy sinking into your bones in the best way.

making your way to giselle’s bedroom, you notice how different your rooms were. while yours was covered with posters and music records from all your favorite bands, her’s was covered in magazine clippings of what you assumed are the most popular fashion trends.

while your shelves were filled with books of all genres, she had an entire shelf dedicated to makeup and skincare products. another filled with several handbags and shoes. you weren’t even aware that girls had to have that many.

“sit, my canvas,” she says, lightly teasing, pointing to the chair in front of her vanity mirror as she pulls things out of the bag she gave you.

“we’re keeping it simple, just the basics: primer, foundation, brows, blush, and lipstick of course.”

you nod like you understood anything she was saying. she caught the panic in your eyes and smiled softer this time, “don’t worry,” she said, uncapping a small bottle of primer, “i got you.”

she talked you through every step. primer, foundation, blending like your life depended on it. she filled in one of your brows and handed you the pencil, urging you to try it out yourself. you tried to mimic her, hand shaky, tongue slightly poking out in concentration. this was definitely harder than she made it out to be.

“you’re a natural,” she says, satisfied with your work and you can feel your confidence growing with every second you spend with her. it’s as if she was sharing the amount of confidence she had with you.

by the end of it, you stared at yourself in the mirror and barely recognized your own reflection. not because the makeup was dramatic, it wasn’t, but because you looked like someone who belonged.

like someone who chose how she wanted to be seen.

“there…you look beautiful,” giselle murmurs behind you, chin resting lightly on your shoulder, “i have one last thing for you,” she says, reaching for another bag and you’re not sure how you could ever repay her for all of this.

as if she could read your thoughts, she quickly says, “don’t worry about it, jeno paid for it”

“glasses can be hot, but the ones you have now, completely hides your face so…,” she pulls out two things, “first, i got you these silver ones, they’re smaller but they’ll sit on your face better,” she hands it to you.

you take them, fingers brushing over the smooth metal. the glasses were cute, not your usual style, but when you slipped them on and looked in the mirror, you instantly understood what she meant. they frame your features instead of swallowing them whole.

giselle pats herself on the back, clearly happy with her decision, “and if you’re feeling a little braver,” she trails off, pulling out the last item, “-contact lenses, i asked jeno for your prescription so those should be good, they’re pretty easy to put on too but just in case, i’ll message you a youtube video with step by step instructions,” she smiles at you, soft and sincere.

and you can’t hold it in anymore. her kind actions pull at your heartstrings as the dam breaks – tears sliding down your cheeks before you can stop them.

“thank you, giselle,” you say in full gratitude, voice thick with emotion.

“of course,” she whispers, her eyes matching yours as she pulls you into a hug.

“-now stop crying, okay, makeup is expensive,” she says, laughing as she wipes at her own damp lashes. you both burst into giggles, the room light again despite the weight in your heart.

and then a knock makes its way to her bedroom door, echoing throughout her room.

giselle quickly fixes your tear stained cheeks, “alright, if you ever need anything else, just let me know okay?,” she says, and you nod, thankful for her kindness.

“let's see what your best friend has to say,” she squeals as she rushes over to the door, swinging it open and revealing jeno on the other side.

you hadn’t even thought about how jeno would react or how other people would take in your new appearance. you suddenly felt extremely nervous. he was the first person who was going to see you like this — you wanted him to react well.

jeno steps into the room, hands in the pockets of his hoodie, expression casual until he sees you and suddenly he feels like every air has been knocked out of his lungs.

you have always been pretty but right now you look absolutely, breathtakingly, beautiful.

he realizes he’s been staring in silence for too long when he notices you shift in your seat, the words, “what?,” slipping from your lips, almost harsh, trying to sound casual.

he blinks a few times, gulping “n-nothing y-you just look–,”

“different?,” you complete his sentence, afraid he will start teasing you. his stare becomes more uncomfortable with every second of silence that passes.

“-r-really p-pretty,” he finally manages to say. a smile takes over your features, his compliment completely blowing away the feelings of doubt that were starting to cloud.

jeno almost wants to beat himself up for stuttering so much.

“ahh, my work here is done,” giselle beams, looking in between you with a knowing look only she knew the meaning of. she clapped like she’s the proud host of a makeover show, as she should. jeno clears his throat, immediately reminded that you both had an audience.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

a soft knock echoed at your dorm room’s door, followed by jeno’s familiar voice. when you opened it, you caught the tiny flicker in his eyes. he was still trying to get used to your new appearance. its been two days since giselle’s successful makeover and he still hasn’t fully adjusted to this version of you.

but it was time to start step two of the operation - closet cleanse and wardrobe upgrade.

“wait,” you say, squinting at him, “you’re the one that’s gonna look at my clothes?,” you say, bewildered.

what did jeno know about ladies’ fashion?

“yeah, who else would it be?,” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“i don't know, i thought you would’ve brought giselle or another one of your lady friends,” you mumbled as he casually made himself at home on your bed.

he grinned, flopping back against your pillows like he owned the place, “nope, just me, don’t worry…i know what looks good,” he says, a playful smile on his lips as you eyed him suspiciously, “and how exactly are you going to rate my clothes?,” you ask.

he shrugs, “i’ll figure it out as we go, now come on, show me what you got,” he says, making himself comfortable in your sheets.

truthfully, his rating was completely unscientific and wildly biased. he was judging your clothes based on the question: if a girl walked by in this outfit, would i say hi?

and he knows damn well that if you ever found out you were being styled based on his imaginary dream girl, you’d kick him right where the sun won't shine. so he kept that little detail to himself.

“ugh, okay,” you groaned, giving in as you started taking your clothes out of your wardrobe and holding them up for him.

jeno leaned back, arms folded behind his head, watching you with an amused glint in his eyes. he was way too comfortable in your space but then again, he always had been.

one by one you pulled clothes from your closet – the shirts you’ve had since middle school, some with funky patterns, others just straight up horrendous. pants with weird patterns and those that didn’t help accentuate your figure at all.

for once, you were thankful for being one of the lucky ones who didn’t have a roommate. no one else needed to witness this humiliation.

jeno, however, was getting the full show. he has never realized how bad your wardrobe was until now. each new item of clothing you pulled out seemed to be worse than the last. and then came the final blow.

the naruto and pokemon shirts. his oversized naruto and pokemon shirts. jeno’s jaw slacks open, like the very memory of those shirts carried his own personal trauma, “why the hell do you have those?!,” he blurted, sitting up like he’d just seen a ghost.

“your dad gave them to me when you outgrew them, i just kept them,” you shrug.

“burn it.” his voice was flat, non-negotiable.

“what?! no!, these are comfortable and i like wearing them to sleep!,” you defend, clutching the shirts like they were priceless heirlooms. jeno stares at you wide eyed, expression teetering somewhere between disgust and betrayal “you cannot let anyone see you in those,” he says, deadly serious, making you chuckle.

“stop being so dramatic, i bet if you wore these now, people would think it’s cool,” you say and jeno shakes his head furiously, like he can't even fathom the idea of ever wearing it again, “no, absolutely not, i’ve buried that version of myself. deep.”

“well, i’m not burning them!,” you declare, shoving the shirts deep into your drawer, making sure he can’t pull it out behind your back.

by the end of it you had two piles. the “i guess that’s okay” pile and the “don’t ever wear that again, that’s going straight to donation,” pile which was unfortunately about three times bigger.

“jeno, i have like no clothes left!,” you say, plopping down on the bed next to him, limbs heavy with defeat.

your room looked like it was run through by a tornado, clothes scattered in every corner.

without a word, jeno pulls you into his arms, fingers brushing your hair out of your face with an ease that only comes from years of friendship, “we’re gonna go shopping,” he murmurs against your temple, “it’s gonna be fine.”

you let yourself melt into his side with a sigh, “okay, but like…in five minutes, i’m too tired to even attempt being a hot girl right now,” he chuckles softly and you feel the sound more than you hear it, sleep tugging you under.

jeno lets his eyes flutter shut too, a small contented smile on his lips.

five minutes, she said. he’d give her ten.

ten minutes turned into three hours and you woke up with your legs tangled with the boy beside you, “neno,” you groaned, shoving him off of you, “you’re so fucking heavy,” you whine.

jeno slowly wakes up, blinking the sleep away as he sluggishly rubbed at his eyes, “fuck, what time is it?,” he says before reaching out for his phone and answering his own question.

it was only 6PM, still plenty of time to run to the mall and get you your new upgraded outfits.

and exactly thirty minutes later, jeno was dragging you around all the stores with the latest fashion trends. you didn’t even know your best friend knew these stores existed, “how do you know so much about this?” you ask him, eyeing him suspiciously.

he shot you a grin over his shoulder, “well, i do listen to every girl i talk to, you know” he points out and you’re reminded of the fact that your sweet, nerdy best friend was also one of the university’s hot, sexy, fuck-boy.

you rolled your eyes, “gross.” you still can’t believe he even has that reputation. wanting to smack yourself every time you get reminded of it. how could your glasses-wearing, braces-clad, cried-over-a-hamster best friend turn into some kind of lady killer? it didn’t feel real.

“hey, it’s called research,” he teased, “gotta keep them interested somehow.”

he grabs a shopping cart, pulling at everything he thought looked nice on the mannequins, as well as a couple of pieces of clothing that fit his previous criteria.

you follow him around like a lost child. you don’t even remember the last time you had a shopping trip and bought something for yourself. you were usually only here to buy gifts or if you’re forced to buy new underwear.

after a while of aimlessly wandering as jeno does all the work, you find yourself in the dressing room, a shopping bag filled with clothes in your arm.

now here you were, staring at your reflection in pure disbelief. the first matching outfit jeno picked out was a tiny pink skirt and an even tinier pink crop top that left your midriff exposed, “uhhm, jeno i dont know about this one,” you say from the other side of the door, nervous.

“step out, let me see,” he says, patiently sitting outside of your dressing room stall, voice relaxed, clearly unbothered.

slowly, hesitantly, your fingers hover over the lock before unlocking the door, debating on whether or not you should let him see you in this ridiculous outfit that is showing way too much skin than you’re used to. before you could completely psych yourself out, you took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself before finally swinging the door wide open, revealing the outfit to him.

jeno looked up and almost choked on air.

the outfit definitely hugged your curves in all the right places, made your skin glow and your legs look longer, and god, yes, he would definitely go up to you and say hi if he saw you at a party.

but then he thinks about all the other boy’s who would also go up to you and say hi and do god knows what else and the thought almost knocks him out.

“yeah, that doesn’t look comfortable, i don't like it,” he says a half lie. you quickly agree, relieved, as you go back into the dressing room to try on your next outfit.

jeno feels hot.

the air was too thick and he wanted to dunk his head in cold water to remind himself that this was you.

he shakes the thoughts away. these are thoughts he shouldn’t be thinking about, especially with his best friend. but it was no use. because the next time you stepped out of the dressing room you were wearing a white skirt a little longer than the last one and a light blue top that covered what needed to be covered but was just enough to exude that sexiness he liked in a girl and he swore he needed to get into a bathroom. now.

“this one’s a bit better, i could actually wear this,” you comment, innocently looking at him through those silver glasses that makes your eyes pop out, a small smile on display and all he could do was nod, “yeah…t-that one’s nice,” he says, disguising his stutter under a fake cough.

you smiled, pleased with his answer, and he felt his stomach flip.

he was in so much trouble.

this torture went on for a good fifteen more outfits, tiny side comments coming from him while his sanity continues to slip just a little more. his pants feel more restricted every time you walk out dressed in the cutest outfits that looked like they were made for you.

the worst ones were the ones you liked. the ones that made your eyes twinkle in the mirror and made you smile like you were finally starting to see yourself the way he saw you – absolutely beautiful.

there’s a million f words running through his head.

why the fuck did he think this was a good idea? why the fuckity fuck didn’t he just ask giselle to add this to her makeover process? why the fuckity fuck fuck did he throw all those tiny tops and short skirts into your basket? why the flying fuckity fuck fuck fuck shit fuck are you so fucking pretty? and more importantly – what the actual fuck are you, his best friend, doing to him?

after a long three hours of internal screaming – it was finally over.

you emerged from the mall looking like you’d just won a game show, all smiles and sunshine, bubbling with excitement, happy with the outfits your best friend picked out for you while jeno trudged behind you, hauling ten full shopping bags, half amused, half in pain.

he drove in near silence as you yapped on and on about your makeover with giselle, every detail you hadn’t had the chance to spill yet now tumbling out all at once.

in the middle of your yapping session, you noticed the boy wasn’t as active as he usually was, no silly side comments, no teasing remarks.

“neno..,” you sweetly called out to him and jeno nearly swerved.

god, the things that nickname did to him.

“you okay?,” you asked, eyes flicking over to him.

“yeah bunny, just tired,” he said with a small smile, trying to play it cool.

“that was a lot of shopping for a guy, y’know?” he glanced at you quickly, then back to the road, “keep going, tell me more about your day with giselle,” he says.

you eyed him for a second longer, as if trying to read him, then picked up right where you left off.

he dropped you off and made sure you were safely in your room. before he could leave you surprised him by reaching out and pulling him into a hug. with your arm tight around his waist, face pressed against his chest, you let out a soft sigh, “thank you, neno, sorry for taking up so much of your time.”

jeno chuckles, gently smoothing your hair down with one hand, hoping you don’t realize how fast his heart was beating, “you can never take too much of my time, bunny, you know that” he says, reassuring you.

you look up at him, with that sweet, grateful smile that’s currently driving him crazy, “you’re the best best friend in the entire world,” you say, before leaning up and pressing a sweet, innocent kiss to his cheek.

jeno should’ve been used to it.

you’ve been kissing his cheek ever since you were five years old and playing in the mud together. he argues today just wasn’t his day.

maybe it was the outfit? maybe it was the soft curve of your smile? or maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t had sex in so long (two days) it was affecting his logic?

whatever it was, that little peck nearly sent him spiraling.

“go and rest,” you said, pushing him towards your door and out of your dorm room, “thanks for shopping with me,” you ended the night with a lopsided grin before shutting your door as he finally made his way out.

he didn’t go home right away. instead he found himself at lia’s place, hands roaming and mind elsewhere, trying to exorcise whatever the hell was clawing at him from the inside out.

he kissed her like he meant it, touched her like he was desperate – because he was. so, so desperate for release. he fucked the shit out of her, releasing all his sexual urges as he guiltily pictured you in those tight, revealing outfits.

pictured you smiling up at him having absolutely no idea the effect you left behind. pictured your sweet voice calling him that nickname you gave him when you were fourteen before you stole his first kiss.

and when he finally finished, breathless and sweaty, staring up at the ceiling of a room that wasn’t his, next to a girl he barely knew, all could think about was: what the actual fuck is wrong with me?

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

the easy part of this transformation was over — the shopping spree, the haircut, the subtle change of your appearance had all been external.

you could already feel the power your new look gave you. for the first time in your life, you realized that pretty privilege wasn’t just some exaggerated social theory. it was real. you felt it in the smallest gestures.

on your way to the library, retracing steps you’ve taken hundreds of times before, everything felt a little different. the way people intently held the door open for you, even if you were still several steps away. the way they’d immediately made space for you in the elevator. and the way someone had already rushed to help you grab a book from the top shelf – you used to have to drag the ladder with you just to get it before.

however, just because life became a tad bit easier, doesn’t mean you felt comfortable.

what had once been comfort in invisibility was now replaced with the pressure of being seen. you weren’t used to the lingering glances or the compliments or the catcalls — it made your skin crawl, making you want to hide under the table until everyone leaves.

when jeno finally walked into the library, his eyes landed on you immediately. you wore a soft white top with jeans that finally hugged your frame and a light blue cardigan around your shoulders, collarbones out for display. it was one of the outfits you bought last night.

the guilt on his shoulders felt heavier as he was reminded of what he did — what he thought of.

forcefully shaking the thoughts away, he quietly sits right next to you. his gaze drifts to your legs anxiously bouncing under the table. a sign that something was clearly bothering you. gently, he placed a hand on your knee. you flinched slightly, then looked up at him, your expression distant – like you just realized he was there.

“bunny, what’s wrong?,” he asks, voice low and tender, threaded with concern.

“they’re all staring, jeno,” you whispered, almost like you didn’t want the words to exist.

he looks around the room, noticing the way everyone was too deep into their own worlds and while he didn’t see anyone obviously gawking, he knew it didn’t matter. it wasn’t about them. it was about what you were feeling inside.

“no one’s staring, bunny,” he murmured, voice delicate, like handling glass.

he knew better than to dismiss it. he recalls what it was like when he stepped out without the comfort of his thick-rimmed glasses and oversized t-shirts for the first time. remembers the way his heart was pounding in his chest, afraid of the judgments he might receive. he didn’t need to guess what you were feeling. he’s sure you were battling the same internal conflict right now. but just like how he got through it, he knows you will too. he’ll make sure of it.

you shut your eyes, taking a deep breath, “sorry,” you whispered, exhaling like the breath had been stuck in your chest all day, “im just- being paranoid, i’m not used to people noticing me,” you say softly.

“that’s okay,” jeno said, a warm smile blooming on his face as his hand moved to your back, rubbing slow, soothing circles, “that’s our lesson for today.”

jeno gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he set his bag down beside you, “okay bunny, first thing’s first is it’s all about your mindset,” he taps his head, pointing to his brain and you can’t help but giggle at the silly antics.

“im serious,” he insisted, lips twitching into a smirk, “if someone stares, don't spiral and think ‘they’re judging me.’ instead think ‘i look good, that’s why they’re staring,’” he says.

your eyes pop out of your head, he says it like it was so easy, “doesn’t that sound a little too egotistical?,” you said, nose wrinkling.

“not egotistical, just confident,” he counters, “there’s a difference.”

you gave him a skeptical look but he was already sitting up straighter, leaving no room for arguments.

“next is posture, stop hiding behind your books and sit straight, shoulders back, chin up,” he demonstrates.

you copied his posture, finding his seriousness amusing as you rolled your shoulders back, “like this?,”

“yeah,” he nodded, approving, “you already look more confident”

you laughed quietly, already feeling silly, “i feel like i’m pretending to be someone i’m not,” you point out.

“well, confidence is pretending, at first anyway,” he replied, shrugging, “eventually you start owning up to it, it starts becoming comfortable.”

you studied your best friend for a minute or two. there was a time where he would hide behind his books as well, would even hide behind you. you realized now that his change didn’t just come out of nowhere – it wasn’t just a random growth spurt. it was something he’d worked on, something that took time and practice, just like you were doing now. you wondered how he ever managed to do this alone.

“and the most important thing to know, bunny,” he adds, voice gentler now, “you’re allowed to take up space, don’t ever apologize for being seen.”

you carried his words with you, tucking them somewhere deep, somewhere that had always longed to hear them.

you sat there in silence for a beat until jeno shifted beside you, nudging your arm lightly, “okay,” he said, eyes glinting with a mischievous spark, “time for your first assignment.”

you turned to him, instantly suspicious, “assignment?,”

he nodded, already scanning the room, “see that guy by the window,” he points to possibly the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen reading a worn copy of the hunger games: catching fire. you recognize him. you’re pretty sure he was in your elective art class.

“you’re going to flirt with him,” jeno smirks and your eyes almost bulge out of your head.

“you’re joking! that’s hyunjin,” you whisper, head whipping toward jeno.

“so?,”

“so, he’s…he’s too cool and i don't even know how to flirt!,” you whisper-shouted, hands flailing helplessly at your sides.

he chuckles, “you were the same girl who threatened to beat up my bullies when we were 11, you’re telling me you’re afraid of a boy now?,” his smile is playful, lightly provoking you. and when you don’t reply, he knew you knew that he was right, “just compliment him, smile, say he has nice hands or something.”

your mouth fell open, staring at him in horror, “that’s so dumb, jeno. what if he thinks i'm hitting on him?”

“...you are hitting on him,” he said slowly, like it was obvious.

you groaned, dragging your hands over your face, “i’m not comfortable with this.”

“that’s the point. confidence doesn’t grow in comfort zones,” jeno says and you wonder when he’s gotten so wise. usually you were the one who had these motivational words ready for him.

staring down at your lap, nerves buzzing like static in your fingertips, you take a moment to think it through. you glanced back at your best friend, he was already looking at you proudly – like he believed in you more than you believe in yourself.

you let out a breathy laugh, the absurdity the situation weighing on your chest, “if this ends in disaster–,”

“it wont,” he cuts you off and you knew there was no way to back out of this situation. besides you were the one who asked him to help you. slowly, you got up from your chair, taking a deep breath and making your way towards the boy.

“hi, hyunjin,” you start off quiet, timid, slightly afraid.

hyunjin darts his eyes away from his book, looking up at you, “hey” he replies. when you don’t say anything else right away, he shifted in his seat, “did you need anything?,” he says, an awkward smile on his lips.

you swallowed hard, nerves tangling in your throat, “i uhm…just wanted to tell you—you have nice hands!,” you say, a little too cheerful for your liking. you were internally screaming. curse jeno for putting that in your head. you actually can’t believe you used it.

he blinked. then a soft laugh escaped him, not mocking, but surprised, amused. “oh? uhm, thanks?,” he said, a playful glint in his eyes, “i like what you’ve done with your hair,” he compliments, leaving you shocked.

“what?”

he points vaguely in your direction, “you got a haircut, right? it look’s nice.”

you blinked, stunned into silence for a second too long. “thank you,” you finally breathed, cheeks warming instantly.

you didn’t realize he noticed you before. let alone remember you enough to notice a change.

“you’re welcome,” he smiles and you awkwardly wave goodbye.

you made your back to jeno, so certain that you looked like a tomato. dropping into the seat beside him, burying your face in your hands, “that was so embarrassing,” you mumbled through your fingers.

jeno tried to hide his laughter behind his fingers, afraid to be called out by the librarian for being too loud, “you actually told him he had nice hands,” he wheezed.

“shut up!,” you groaned, “that was your fault!,” you swat at his arm, “my brain just – stopped working.”

jeno calms himself down, sitting up straighter now, the teasing falling away just a little, “yeah, but you did it…and he talked to you, noticed your hair, said he liked it.”

the memory of hyunjin’s compliment flickers in the back of your mind and a small swell of pride flutters in your chest, “he did, didn’t he…,” a shy smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

jeno nods, eyes full of tenderness, “see? you’ve never been invisible,” he points out.

the words settle over you like a warm blanket and for a moment you just sit with them, the weight of the realization sinking in.

“i still felt like i was going to pass out though,” you admitted, a thin, embarrassed smile on display.

“that’s okay, confidence is scary,“ jeno said simply, “but the more you practice, the easier it’ll be,” he sends you a warm smile, never making you feel like these feelings were wrong.

without thinking, you leaned into his shoulder, seeking the steady comfort he always gave you, “thanks, neno,” you breathe out.

he freezes for a second, just for a second, before bumping his head lightly against yours, “anytime.”

then he pulls back just enough to grin mischievously, “now, go back to hyunjin and say something a little less awkward.”

“wait? right now?!,” you whip your head toward him, horrified once again.

“yes, right now…go,” he’s already pushing you up and out of your seat, laughing under his breath as he watches you stumble forward, nerves buzzing anew.

trying to ignore the way your heart pounds against your ribs, you walk back up to hyunjin, this time with a bit more confidence, capturing his attention once more.

“actually i…i wanted to say that’s a really good book,” you nod toward the hunger games book in his hand and hyunjin lights up instantly.

“right?, i’m on my third re-read,” he says excitedly.

with a casual gesture, he pulls out the chair next to him inviting you to sit as you talked about the masterpiece that is suzanne collins and the hunger games trilogy. the conversation went on for a good twenty minutes, it was easy and light and fun, a little playful sometimes. you lose yourself in the exchange, forgetting the nerves that once clawed at your chest.

when hyunjin bid his goodbye, you practically floated back to your seat. your heart was pounding in your ears but in the best way possible. you can’t believe that just happened. you usually only talk to people in class, if you’re required to.

jeno watched you. watched that twinkle in your eye appear, your smile beaming as the conversation continues and it’s the first time throughout this whole process that he sees the change.

you were slowly bringing back the girl he knew. the girl you lost along the way. the girl he always knew was still there, just waiting for a reason to shine.

when you returned to him, he can’t help but tease you just a little bit, “look who’s suddenly ms. social butterfly,” he grins, earning an eye roll from you as you tried to wipe the giddy smile off your face, “shut up”

“no seriously,” he says, leaning forward now, resting his elbows on the table, “twenty full minutes, i was about to send a search party,” he smirks.

“always so dramatic,” you huff but your smile betrays you, “i didn’t think it’d actually go that well,” you admit, cheeks still pink.

“you flirted, you sat down, talked about hunger games lore like it was natural…if i didn't know you, i’d think you do this every day,” he smirks.

you narrow your eyes, “are you mocking me or hyping me up?,” you say playfully.

“why not both?,” he shrugs, clearly enjoying himself. his tone softens just enough to say, “but seriously bunny, im proud of you,” and you smile at him like he just handed you the stars in the sky.

“thanks…i feel kinda…good.”

“confidence will do that to you,” jeno says, nudging your foot under the table.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

the next few days turn into a full crash course in flirting 101 with lee jeno.

one afternoon, he dares you to make eye contact with the cute guy handing out flyers in campus, not just a glance, real eye contact. it sounds simple but it makes your palms sweat. you were able to managed a flirty smile too and when the boy stammers mid-sentence, jeno practically fist-pumps the air behind you.

another day, he made you strike up a casual conversation with the barista at the cafe. told you to be a little playful, a little flirty. you passed with flying colors, only stumbling over a few words, the barista writing his number on your cup as well as giving you an extra cookie “on the house.” you nearly skip back to jeno, face lit up like christmas morning.

each small win builds on the last, stacking slowly, steadily until the idea of putting yourself out there and owning up to your confidence doesn’t seem so scary anymore.

through it all, jeno watches with the same steady pride adoring the fact that you were learning how to take up space and shine again.

but then comes the moment that even he isn’t prepared for.

it’s a warm afternoon, golden light slanting through the library windows, when jeno leans over the table, a mischievous glint in his eye, “alright, new assignment.”

you smirk at him, accepting his challenge, “what now?”

he tips his chin toward the entrance where sungchan – tall, charming, the boy you’ve had a quite, hopeless crush on for years – walks in, balancing a coffee and his bag slung casually over one shoulder.

the air is knocked out of your lungs and you suddenly feel dizzy, hoping jeno doesn’t follow through whatever he had in mind.

“sungchan,” jeno says, making your heart skip a bit. he grins, already knowing the effect he has on you, “go invite him to the dream frat party this weekend.”

you stare at him like he’s grown two heads, “are you insane?!, that’s sungchan!”

“which makes this the perfect challenge,” he teases.

you open your mouth to protest but jeno cuts you off with a nudge on your arm, “c’mon show me you’ve learned something,” he mocks playfully.

you groan dramatically but your feet somehow move anyway, heart pounding so loudly you’re sure jeno can hear it from where he’s sitting. you were determined to show jeno (and yourself) that you have completely embraced the confidence.

you gather every shred of courage you have and cross the room toward the boy who inspired this whole glow-up.

sungchan looks up just as you approach, his smile lighting up the whole room. you send him a smile – a little flirty, a little too sweet.

“hey,” sungchan says, voice warm, “you’re in my psych class, right? you always ace every test”

you blink, a little thrown by the fact the he paid attention to you, “oh yeah, that’s me,” you say with a soft, bashful laugh, earning a chuckle from the boy in front of you.

he leans against the shelves a little, eyes raking over you in a way that makes your stomach twist. it’s not the uncomfortable kind of stare you’ve been learning to dodge lately. it’s something softer, curious, warm. like he’s seeing you for the first time.

“you look different today,” he says, tilting his head, studying you, “—in a good way.”

you feel the heat rush to your cheeks but you force yourself to stay steady, remembering everything jeno has taught you.

“thanks,” you manage, giving him a more playful, more bold smile, “maybe you just weren’t paying enough attention before.”

this surprises him, eyebrows shooting up before a slow, impressed grin stretches across his face.

“maybe i wasn’t,” he admits, the easy charm in his voice sending your heart into a full sprint.

for a second, neither of you moves. the space between you humming with quiet tension – intoxicating and terrifying all at once.

you clear your throat lightly, breaking the spell, “come to the dream frat party this weekend,” you say it like it wasn’t an invitation. wasn’t a question. didn’t give him any room to deny.

sungchan’s grin turns teasing, a spark lighting in his eyes, “am i coming as your date or…?,” he leans toward you, trailing off, leaving the question open, playful.

you bite back a laugh, finding just enough courage to meet his gaze head on, “i guess you’ll have to come to find out.”

he stares at you for a heartbeat longer. you’ve definitely piqued his curiosity. and then he laughs, easy and alluring, “okay beautiful, you’ve convinced me. i’ll be there,” he whispers for only you to hear before sending you a wink and walking away.

back at the table, jeno watches. something inside him shifts. it’s subtle, a small, tight pull low in his chest but it settles in bitterly.

he pushes it away, refusing to acknowledge it because this wasn’t supposed to matter. he wasn’t supposed to care about anything but seeing you happy.

you make your way back to him, beaming, “he said yes!,” you practically squeal, dropping into your chair like your knees might give out at any second.

jeno chuckles, reaching out to ruffle your hair, a familiar, easy gesture that suddenly feels heavier than it should.

“of course he did, you’re impossible to say no to,” he tries to tease, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and you’re too giddy to notice any of it. you bat his hand away, cheeks flushed and full of life.

jeno is forced to swallow past the uncomfortable lump rising in his throat.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

tonight is the dream fraternity’s party.

the night where you finally put everything you’ve learned, everything you’ve worked for, to the test. this was it. the final step in your glow up and you felt that electric sense of anticipation crackling just beneath your skin.

you were done waiting. done watching from the sidelines.

you were ready to let loose, to fully step into this new version of yourself.

you stepped into the house, the air thick with excitement. a tight white dress clings to your body, a bold choice you would have second-guessed before. you ditched your glasses for the night, switching it with the contact lenses giselle gave you — embracing the braveness.

this time, when you notice the stares, the double takes, the whispered comments, you don’t shrink back. you don’t flinch. you let them wash over you, feeding the fire inside you.

all those lessons with jeno clearly worked. that change in mindset was all you needed. the attention makes you glow. makes you feel powerful.

looking around the room, you searched for your best friend before finally spotting him in the corner at the back, near the kitchen.

you send him a tiny wave, he sends one back, excitement bubbling through you but before you could make your way towards him, a hand on your arm stops you.

“y/n! you look so pretty oh my god!,” giselle screeches over the loud music, a smile beaming on her face as she pulls you in for a tight hug. she was clearly already intoxicated, her balance a little wobbly but her energy still infectious.

“c’mon,” she says, already dragging you around the room with her, “you have to meet my friends!”

you happily followed her around, giggles escaping your lips, nervousness falling away with every step.

before you know it you were three shots in, dancing with the girls – giselle, somi, and angel, who you already knew before as jaemin’s girlfriend.

the music was loud, your laughters were louder.

and for the first time, you aren’t overthinking a single thing.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

when jeno saw you walk into the front door, it was like time had slowed down, like a thousand cherry blossom petals had burst into the air around you, everyone else blurring into a side character of your story.

you have always been pretty. always been beautiful. but tonight, you were absolutely radiant.

and it wasn’t even the dress, though he can’t deny how much he loved the way white clung to you, soft and luminous.

it was the way you walked around the room with your head held high. the way you glowed with every step, not shying away under anyone’s gaze. the way your smile beamed.

you weren’t hiding anymore.

you have finally stepped into your own skin, finally brought back the girl he knew.

in that moment, it wasn’t just the girl standing in front of him that he saw. it was every version of you that was always beautiful – the girl that was the first one out of the house, chasing after his hamster. the girl that didn’t care if she only had two teeth left, she would still eat what she wanted. the girl who was fighting bullies three times her size just to protect him. the girl who was brave enough to kiss him first. the girl who learned to pick up the pieces.

when you waved at him, he felt like he was on cloud nine. it felt like he had stepped into his shoes all those years ago – a boy hopelessly in awe of the only person he ever wanted to see him.

and when you started walking towards him, it was like his lungs could no longer function. you stole every breath he had.

but before you could give it back to him, giselle pulls you away, spinning you into the chaos of the party, leaving jeno standing there, fighting the urge to follow.

“was that, y/n?,” jaemin says, popping out from nowhere, almost giving him a heart attack as he clutches his chest.

he punches the boy in his arm before confirming that it was in fact, you. jaemin looks at him with a knowing glance. he recognizes the familiar twinkle in jeno’s eye.

“wow,” jisung comments from his other side, making him pause.

when did all his friends show up?

“she looks really hot,” jisung adds, eyes following your figure across the room.

a devilish grin appeared on jeno’s lips and in one quick motion, he had jisung under his arm, ruffling his hair, “no, no, no…not the hair hyunggg!,” he struggled from the older boy’s grip before jeno finally released him.

“point taken, won’t say anything about her ever again,” jisung pouts, fixing his hair back into place.

“i don’t know what you mean,” jeno smiles playfully, “i just wanted to play with you.”

chenle chuckles from nearby, “oh definitely, it’s totally not because you’re possessive and way too protective of y/n,” he points out.

“i am not possessive,” jeno argues, his voice defensive, “protective, sure, but she’s my best friend guys, our parents will kill me if something bad happens to her,” he says.

“she’s also a grown woman,” renjun points out, “you can’t keep pushing away every guy who thinks she’s hot, you know?”

“im not pushing away every guy!…just you guys,” jeno protests. he would never let any of his friends touch you, knowing what he knows.

there’s a pause as the group stares at him, “mhm, cause her really tall, really muscular, really intimidating, doesn’t smile at anyone, guy best friend being by her side almost all the time isn’t pushing away any boys,” haechan adds, teasing.

“it’s not my fault those boys don’t have the balls to ask her out,” jeno mutters, looking at mark for some support, hoping that he’d somehow take his side and tell the others that they were being ridiculous.

mark shrugs in a don’t look at me kind of way and jeno can’t help but groan in defeat.

“well, that boy definitely has the balls,” jaemin nods towards the dance floor as jeno follows his line of vision, his eyes immediately on your figure once again.

you're still with the girls but this time, sungchan and a few other guys from the riize fraternity have surrounded you, laughing and chatting with you.

“shouldn’t you get your girlfriend, jaemin?,” mark asks casually, “i know that wonbin guy has a thing for her,”

jaemin just laughs, completely unbothered, “nah, he doesn't stand a chance,” he says, sipping from his drink as the boy’s laugh.

but jeno knew that sungchan definitely had a chance with you. nothing is funny.

sungchan leans in close, whispers something in your ear and you were laughing. the laugh he thought was only reserved for him. he feels his fists clench up on his sides.

“you gonna push him away, jeno?,” haechan teases by his ear, a smirk playing on his lips, earning him a punch right on the stomach.

“shut up,” he says, haechan clutching over, his laughter mixing with his pain. he totally deserved that.

“c‘mon jisung, let’s find your girl for the night,” haechan manages to say in between choked breaths, before he dragged jisung and mark out of the room, resuming their fuckboy101 classes.

jeno watches as sungchan and you continue to talk, his gaze never wavering from the two of you. every inch of him wants to march over there and pull you away but he doesn’t. instead, he stays rooted in place, his eyes burning holes in the back of your head, feeling his pulse quicken in ways he can’t explain.

lia, his current situationship, walks up to him.

“okayy, that’s our cue,” chenle whispers before all the boys dispersed leaving jeno alone.

he doesn’t even greet her, doesn’t make an effort to say hi, eyes still glued on your figure.

“hi handsome,” lia drags her hands up his shoulders, settling on the back of his neck, her lips finding the side of his jaw.

it all happened so quickly.

one second you were still with the girls, the next sungchan dragged you to the side, his lips on yours. jeno’s jaw clenches. his heart dropping.

he needed to stop looking. he needed a distraction.

he finally acknowledges the girl clung to his neck. she reeks of alcohol and vape smoke. jeno turns to kiss her anyway.

he let’s lia drag him up the stairs, taking one last look at you. he let’s her lead him into his bedroom. let’s her strip off his clothes.

he knew you were going to be okay, knew you could handle your alcohol after many beer nights with him and he definitely knew that you were too smart to get yourself into any real trouble.

he can’t ruin this night for you.

“fuck me like you did last time,” lia whispers in his ear, trailing kisses down his neck, “fuck me like you mean it,” her hand travels down, wrapping around his already hard cock and jeno did.

he fucked her like she was all he needed. abused her hole, used her to release all his sexual tension, trying to push away the image of you from his mind.

but he found that every time you appeared, the better it felt and soon he was clenching, body shaking, his orgasm taking over as he came…with your name spilling from his lips.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

bunny: come over please it’s an emergency.

jeno was banging on your door in under eight minutes of that text. which was absolutely ridiculous considering the fraternity house was a twenty minute walk away from your building. a million thoughts were racing in his head.

what happened after he left you at the party that constitutes this emergency text? were you hurt?

you swung the door open, perfectly intact. no tears, no bruises, just you – in shorts and one of his your oversized naruto t-shirt, blinking at him like he was the one being ridiculous.

side note: it’s insane how you manage to make that shirt look sexy.

he exhaled hard, one hand bracing on the doorframe as he caught his breath.

“did you run here?,” you ask, stunned, noticing the sweat dripping down the side of his face.

“you said it was an emergency,” he shot back, chest still heaving.

you offered a sheepish smile, “sorry, come in,” before walking into your room. jeno followed, shutting the door with a soft click.

“what happened?” he asked, eyes scanning you again, just to be sure, as he sat on the edge of your bed watching you pace back and forth.

“sungchan kissed me,” you tell him.

he blinked, processing, he knew that. he saw you. the reminder leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. he pushes it away, playing the best friend card once more.

“that’s good? right?,” he says cautiously, cursing the fact that he was your best friend right now and had to listen to you talk about another guy, “that’s what you wanted?”

“yeah but,” you swallowed, embarrassment already creeping up your neck, “but i didn’t know what to do!”

“what do you mean?,” he asks dumbfounded, “you just…kiss him back.”

“it’s not that simple, you weren’t there – i panicked! i-i froze! i was too into my head and then i just – i ran,” you ramble, cringing as you relived what happened last night.

a snort escapes jeno before he could stop it.

you narrowed your eyes, “don’t laugh!, it was so humiliating, i can’t believe i ran away like a literal child!,” you groan in your hands.

he tried to control his expression but the corner of his mouths betrayed him, eyes twinkling with amusement, “y/n, it’s not a big deal, you were nervous,” he reassures, “just tell him you were drunk and then try again, it's not the end of the world,” he says it so easily – like you didn’t just go through the worst moment of your life. and that’s saying a lot considering you had a dead mom.

“that’s the problem, i don’t know what i'm doing, i always thought when it happened i’d just know but i didn’t,” you whine in frustration, pulling at your hair.

he must be crazy to think you’d get a different result if you went up to sungchan now and kissed him. you’re almost sure the same thing would happen.

“you’ll be fine next time, you’ll be prepared for it,” he says. the thought of there being a next time makes you panic.

“will i?,” you cut in, “what if i freeze again?,”

“you won’t”

“you don’t know that.”

he opened his mouth to argue, but you beat him to it.

“can you teach me?,” you said, voice quiet.

jeno stills, looking at you with wide eyes like he almost couldn’t believe what you just said – “what?”

“teach me,” you sat next to him, eyes locked on his, “add a step five, teach me how to kiss, teach me how to–” you couldn’t bring yourself to say the other things, the dirtier things you wanted to learn, “–how to do other things,” you mumble.

his jaw tensed. he can’t believe what it is you’re truly asking from him. teaching you how to kiss was already absurd but teaching you how to kiss for another man? it makes him want to throw up.

“bunny –no. i don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“why not?,” your head turns like a genuinely curious puppy.

“because best friends don’t–,” he faltered, “we don’t cross that line.”

“but it’s not like that,” you looked up at him, voice softening, “it’s just…practice.”

he didn’t move. didn’t blink. he can’t fathom the fact that he was actually starting to entertain the idea.

“it’s for educational purposes…just another step in the glow up,” you added, looking at him with those innocent eyes that makes him want to give you the moon, if you asked for it.

his throat worked as he swallowed, holding on to the last bit of restraint he had, “we can’t,” but it came out too quiet, too unsure, his resolve breaking with every second.

“neno,” you whispered, eyes locked on his. it’s not fair and you know it but you’ve already convinced yourself that this is necessary. that you needed to be taught.

“please…you’re the only one i feel comfortable with, just so i could learn, so i could know what to do when these things happen and i don’t make a fool of myself again,” you say, your tone low, almost pleading.

jeno’s breath hitches in his throat. he must be crazy or maybe you truly have him wrapped around your finger because now his eyes are flickering down to your lips and he can’t look away.

he realizes just how close you actually were and just like that, everything else blurs.

he leans in slowly, cautiously, searching your eyes for any flicker of hesitation.

you remain still, you don’t move, you don’t pull away. just watching him, a mixture of quiet excitement, nerves and something warmer, something softer, spreading through you like wildfire.

“just for practice,” he murmurs, brushing his lips against yours.

“just for practice,” you breathe back.

and that was all he needed to finally close the final inch – kissing you slowly, carefully.

it hits him instantly. fireworks. the same ones he felt when he was fourteen. the same one burned at the back of his memory. all this time he thought it was just because it was his first kiss, that feeling never once coming again. but here it is. bright, real and alive in his chest.

and this time he sees it for what it is – it’s you.

he feels you stiffen up and he pulls away softly, “don’t think about it too much, just follow my lead, okay, bunny?,” the once innocent nickname leaves you feeling hot, your heart pounding in your chest as you nod.

his hand makes his way to your cheek, warm and gentle, brushing the soft skin just beneath your ear, the small smile on his lips bringing you a sense of comfort as you as he pulls you back in. lips melting in his. you gave in, shutting the rest of the world out and only focusing on the boy in front of you.

jeno tilts his head, deepening the kiss as you follow his every move. his tongue licks your bottom lip, begging for entrance as yours part on instinct. body reacting before your mind could even process what was happening.

you kiss him back – not perfectly, not practiced but with all the pent-up wonder and want you’ve never let yourself say out loud. it was so natural with jeno. like you were always meant to be kissing him.

you can taste the faint mint of the altoids he always had, feel the heat radiating off his skin.

the makeout session grows heavier and heavier as you continue to keep up with him, learning to breathe through your nose.

you shift slightly and your knees brush, thighs pressing together and suddenly you’re aware of how close you have gotten. the lack of space between your bodies is dizzying. your fingers curl into the front of his shirt, wanting him even closer.

as if he could read your mind, jeno moves his hand from your neck to your waist, fingers splaying wide, grounding you and then in one swift motion, like you had absolutely no weight, he pulls you into his lap.

you gasp softly into the kiss and he swallows the sound, “sorry,” he murmurs against your lips, not pulling back. he was completely lost in you. in this feeling that only you could give him. he swears he could kiss you for hours and it still wouldn’t be enough.

“don’t be,” you shake your head, straddling him now. your hands find his shoulders, wrapping around his frame and threading through his hair. he kisses you harder now, less careful, lips moving in a messy rhythm, teeth clashing.

almost like it had a mind of it’s own, your hips instinctively grind down on his clothed bulge. the action sending jeno into a frenzy, a strangled groan transferring from his mouth to yours, his hold on your waist tightening.

the sound was so addicting, so intoxicating and it wraps around your head like a sweet drug.

you do it again, not entirely sure what you want to achieve but it felt good. it feels like a million butterflies flying in your stomach. there’s a growing tension in your belly that you can’t pinpoint. the feeling is new, exciting, hot.

jeno was right there with you, every boundary, every line he tried to draw was completely vanishing.

his lips trail down to your jaw, then lower, to the edge of your throat and you tilt your head back with a soft breath. your heart’s pounding. his is too. you can feel it, fast and erratic against your chest.

“y/n,” he grunts your name, like a warning – hoping you would stop him because he no longer couldn’t.

“what were the other things?,” he asks you, eyes completely blown out as he looks at you with a kind of hunger. and when all you do is grind against him once more, leaning into his touch, he’s decided he wants to see you on your knees.

“lesson number two, you’re going to suck my cock,” he whispers in your ear. the vulgar words make you feel hot, your body clenching, “do you want to learn that, bunny?,” he says, voice raspier, teasing, waiting for your go signal.

you nervously look up at him, all you could do was nod, an innocent glow in your eyes and jeno swears he could bust right there.

he reaches for one of your pillows, placing it on the floor beside your bed, “get on your knees,” he gently commands. you’re quick to follow, almost like you were in a trance. jeno tugs his sweats down to his ankles, his bulge prominent in his boxers and you can’t help but stare.

“go ahead, bunny, touch it,” he says. you almost can’t believe this is the same boy who was hiding behind your back, crying, every time the older kids would tease him.

this situation was absolutely ridiculous but that doesn’t stop your hand from wandering. following the outline of his cock as you palm him through his boxers. jeno lets out a hiss, the friction already fucking with his head.

“you can take it out,” he says, almost pleading. carefully you push his boxers off, his cock springing free, slapping against his thigh. you can’t help but gulp at his size, “i-its so big,” you say, making him laugh.

“thank you,” he says with a smirk on his lips and you playfully roll your eyes.

“what do i do?,” you look up at him, waiting for the answer. his eyes darken, that simple question snapping something inside of him. you were so innocent. so pure. and he was about to corrupt you.

he gently grabs your hand, redirecting it to your mouth, “spit,” he orders and like an obedient student, you follow, spitting in your hand.

“you can do anything, you can squeeze it,” he says, making you wrap your hand around his cock. your hand looks so tiny around his member and jeno almost just wants to skip this lesson entirely and fuck your hand dumb but he contains himself.

large hands envelop yours as he guides you on what to do, squeezing just the right amount.

“you can pump it up and down,” he says, guiding your hand to slide up and down his throbbing cock. he releases a sigh of pleasure, the warmth of your hand already making him weak.

“you can twist,” he says, twisting your hand around his cock, “you can put your mouth on it…lick it, swallow it, just keep the teeth away,” he smirks and you take a mental note of everything.

jeno releases your hand, giving you the space to experiment on his body. you’re excited, nervous but excited. you wanted to be good at this.

slowly, you continue his previous ministrations, pumping his cock up and down, squeezing and twisting your hand, just like how he showed you. jeno can’t help but let out a shaky breath, and you’re worried “does it hurt?,” you ask.

“no, bunny–feel’s really good, j-just go faster, please,” he begs.

it was sweet torture – how slow you were going, how much you were edging him on and you weren’t even aware of it. you pick up the speed, giving into his request and jeno grunts, his elbows coming in contact with your bed.

his cock looked so pretty, red and swelling, leaking.

your mouth exploringly wraps around his red tip and jeno curses under his breath, “fuuuck, oh my god.”

your confidence grows, feeling your pussy twitch at the sight of him. clenching your thighs, wanting some sort of relief. the sinful sounds he was making goes directly to your senses — the same sound you heard earlier but clearer now, more desperate, more whiny, and it knocks the breath out of you.

your hand continues to pump him, as you start sucking. you wouldn’t describe the taste of his cock to be good or sweet or like candy but it was addicting — it makes you want more. especially when every swipe of your tongue was accompanied by a breathy groan from him. it fuels you.

you take more and more of his length in until you could no longer fit him in your mouth and slowly you start bobbing up and down. his grunts and groans becoming more frequent.

jeno can’t do it anymore. this teasing was killing him. and the worst part is that you don’t even know how much you were affecting him.

his hand finds it’s way to your hair, gripping lightly, controlling the pace, increasing the speed, until you were choking, gagging, tears brimming in your eyes, “s-sorry bunny, it just f-feels so good,” he growls, thrusting his cock down your throat.

it was too much. he was too big. but you don’t care. you shut your eyes tightly, fighting the urge to gag as he continued to hit the deepest part of your throat.

this image of you on your knees, spit drooling all over your chin, tears in the corner of your eyes as you take what he gives you is absolutely heavenly.

jeno feels the coil about to snap, his breaths coming in heavy pants, thrusts getting messier and messier.

“o-open your eyes, bunny,” he orders. he wants you to see it. wants you to see him unravel. wants you to know how good you’ve been for him.

“p-play with my balls,” he instructs. your hands immediately follows through, squeezing him just where he needed it. heat travels all throughout his veins as he pulls you off, not wanting to force you to swallow his cum.

and then he falls apart – hard.

jaw going slack, eyes rolling back as his body fell into your pillows, abs clenching, cock pulsating. his cum shoots out of his tip, messily squirting everywhere, orgasm completely washing over him.

you watch him fall apart and you’re absolutely mesmerized. he looked so beautiful. so fucked out. and there’s that knot building in your stomach that you still can’t quite place.

you lick him clean, swallowing every drop that has landed on his stomach, his thighs, everywhere.

jeno’s eyes shot open as he tried to slow his breathing, slowly sitting back up, watching you clean him up like he was your last meal.

“how does it taste?,” he smirks and you look up at him through your damp lashes, “not very good,” you smile, earning a laugh from both of you. he guides you back up, as you stand in between his legs.

he lifts the naruto shirt off your body, leaving you in your light blue bra, flower patterns detailing it, “cute,” he playfully smirks and you suddenly feel embarrassed, arms protectively going across your chest.

“nu-uh don’t shy on me now, this was your idea, remember,” he says, before pushing your hands away and placing a soft kiss on the flesh on top of your breasts, looking up at you. your breath catches in your throat. that knot in your belly growing and growing making you push your legs together.

jeno notices.

“you did such a good job,” he compliments you, licking and sucking the skin of your breasts as he continues to look at you. your hands find comfort in his shoulders, stabilizing yourself.

“i did?,” you ask, “mhm, you’re such a good girl…made me feel so good,” he groans in between your breasts before traveling lower, placing a soft kiss on your stomach. his dirty talk has your mind reeling, feeling weak in the knees.

“-and good girls, must be rewarded,” he says, his fingers making their way to the hem of your shorts, squeezing the fabric between his fingers.

“how do you like being touched?,” he asks, softly, waiting, looking up at you.

“what?,” you ask, blush creeping up your cheeks.

“when you touch yourself, how do you like it?,” he asks, littering your stomach with soft kisses, his tongue lightly grazing on your skin.

“i-,” you stutter, “i-i dont,” you say, embarrassed of your lack of experience.

“what?” it was his turn to be surprised, gently sitting you on his thigh, like you just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.

sure he knew you were a virgin and had zero experience with men but you had to have touched yourself before? there had to be some part of you that gave in to the desires of the night and experimented?

you groan, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, “i-i’ve tried but nothing ever happens and i just feel silly with my hand down my pants,” you reason out and that very image alone makes his cock twitch again.

you were going to kill him.

“so you’ve never fingered yourself? never had an orgasm?,” he asks, completely shocked.

“i don’t even know how i’m supposed to do that,” you shrug.

“ok,” jeno says, taking it all in.

he thinks for a minute or two before he finally comes to a conclusion.

you stole his first kiss, it was only fair he stole your first orgasm. right?

“lesson number three, i’m teaching you how pleasure is supposed to feel like.”

his strong arms lift you up, making you squeal at the sudden action before he turns around, gently laying you on your bed.

jeno gets rid of his shirt, throwing his remaining piece of clothing over his head and holy fuck…your best friend is hot. his abs are on clear display, his semi-hard cock hung to the side, and you feel very hot as his gaze focuses back on you.

“when did you get those?,” you ask, fingers ghostly dancing over his six pack, trying to push away the nerves you were feeling.

he chuckles before leaning over, body trapping yours, lips finding that spot he left off of, as he continues to trail kisses on your stomach. your body can’t help but react, arching towards him. his fingers tugging on your pajama shorts.

“let’s take this off, bunny,” you comply, hips raising up, shorts sliding down your legs and you almost curse yourself at the underwear you decided to wear – a white one with cute little brown bears all over it.

jeno smirks, “really mature choice of underwear,” he teases and you scowl, “shut up, jeno,” you say, trying to hold onto the little pride you had left. he chuckles until he spots the dripping arousal your underwear has collected and something inside him shifts.

he wants to ruin you…so bad.

“look at you, bunny,” his voice drops an octave deeper, “already so wet and i haven’t even touched you,” he kisses the inside of your thigh and you feel your pussy clench, “you don’t even know what we can do with all this, huh?,” he says, gazing up at you. you watch him, as he got up, pulling you to the edge of the bed.

jeno’s hands wrapped around his cock and you tense up, “neno, are we about to have sex?,” you ask, your voice soft, timid, a hint of fear – it drives him absolutely nuts.

“no bunny, i won’t take that from you,” he says softly, “just want you to feel something, okay? just a little clit stimulation,” he explains and before you could even ask him what that means his cock was inside your underwear — collecting all your juices, tip hitting your clit over and over again as he slides up and down your wet folds.

“ohhh,” you release a sigh of pleasure, eyebrows furrowing as you try to understand this new feeling.

“feel’s good?,” he says, smirking at you.

“y-yeah,” you manage to breathe out and jeno absolutely loves the way your face was contorting.

he was playing a dangerous game with himself and this is supposed to be all about you. all he wants to do is insert his tip. just the tip. before he could lose control he stops, pulling his cock out of your underwear.

“why’d you stop?,” you ask, frustrated, already missing the lack of contact.

he chuckles, “my fingers will feel better,” he says for his own sanity.

he finally tugs off your underwear, the cool air hitting your pussy, before his thumb starts circling around your sensitive bud – rough, slow, precise circles that elicited a loud moan from you.

you slap your fingers across your mouth, surprised at the sound you made.

“don’t do that,” he orders, grabbing your fingers and latching it onto his before bringing it up over your head, a strong hand keeping it there, “want to hear you moan, bunny,” he whispers, sucking that sensitive spot just below your ear, earning another breath of moan from you.

your body arches up towards him, hips raising to his touch and he knew you were ready for more.

“gonna stick a finger in,” he warns, not giving you time to respond as his digit slides inside your hole, making you tense up, “relax,” he places a soft kiss on your lips, distracting you from the stretch, “it’s okay,” even with your dripping arousal, you were so so so fucking tight. he didn’t even know it was possible for someone to be this tight.

with a tiny bit of force, he pushes his finger in through your walls, “gonna make you feel real good, bunny,” he soothes as you slowly relax into his touch.

“gonna add another okay?,” he says and you just nod, trusting him completely. this stretch is definitely larger, and you find yourself biting down your lip. his fingers were so thick.

he slowly, gently thrusts them in and out, giving you time to adjust, “it’ll feel real good soon,” he seals with a kiss to your lips as he continues to stretch you out. fingers scissoring your walls until your pussy finally sucked him in.

the feeling of having something inside you was entirely new, strange, and you’re still trying to figure out if it felt good or not. but then jeno curls his finger and that knot in your stomach is rising faster and faster.

you want to know what happens when it finally breaks.

“ohh…neno,” you breathily moan, the pain completely morphing into pleasure. your walls completely adjusting to him, “please” you plead, not entirely sure what you were begging for.

your sweet, innocent, delicious moans of his name awakens something in him.

“im gonna eat you out now,” he tells you.

before you could protest, the idea of it making you feel embarrassed, he was already in between your legs, sucking on that spot that makes your eyes roll back.

“ohhh fuck, jeno,” you cry out, his tounge lapping up your juices, swirling around your sensitive bud, fingers still curling inside of you.

“neno, s-something’s happening,” you say in heavy pants, your breathing becoming shakier.

“p-please,” you beg, eyes wide, jaw going slack as you start panting, your hands gripping his hair, trying to ground yourself.

that coil in your stomach is hanging on by a single thread.

jeno looks up at you, he can feel you coming to a close. your walls pulsating around his fingers. he decides to finally send you over the edge, fingers rubbing fast, harsh, circles around your clit as the other continues to hit that sweet spot.

“let it happen, bunny,” he whispers, “let go…come all over my hand,” your best friend’s voice was the final push.

the thread snaps. the knot breaks.

you came crashing apart, stomach clenching, toes curling, eyes rolling to the back of your head. vision slipping into absolute darkness, feeling like you were floating.

jeno coaxes you through your orgasm, letting you ride out every wave. the sight of you unraveling drives him completely insane and it takes every nerve of self control to not ram his cock into you.

“such a good girl, bunny” he praises, littering kisses along your jaw, slow, reverent, like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you. your breathing is erratic, chest rising in short, shuddery pulls as you come down from everything.

he shuffles around your room quietly, grabbing a clean towel out of your bathroom before making his way back to your bed, gently cleaning you up.

your eyes flutter open at his touch. your best friend’s smile greets you, safe and warm, “you okay?” he asks and his voice is too tender. too full of something you don’t see.

“t-hat,” you clear your throat, a weak laugh slipping out, “that was a really fun lesson,” you smile, still caught in your daze.

jeno smiles back at you but it’s hollow and empty and he hates himself for smiling at all.

reality slaps him in the face, something in him crumples as he’s reminded that all of this – all the care, all the closeness wasn’t for him. it was all just for practice. a rehearsal for someone else. and now he’s drowning in the realization that he’s just the one you trust, not the one you want.

he’s helping you be prepared for another man, still pretending like it doesn’t kill him.

he almost wants to kill every man in the world for you to finally see him.

he stands, needing to put space between you, between what just happened and everything he’s feeling. but you catch him.

“where are you going?,” you ask, when he pulls his clothes off the ground, pulling his sweats up, getting ready to leave.

“back to the frat”

“jeno, it’s late, just stay the night,” you say, casually, easy. like it’s nothing. like it’s normal. like he didn’t just get a taste of something he’ll never recover from.

and it should’ve been easy. it should’ve been nothing. it should’ve been normal. he has stayed countless nights before.

but it’s not easy. it's not nothing. and it’s definitely not normal.

“please,” you say, moving over, making room for him and patting the space he usually took up.

jeno hesitates for a second or two before doing the one thing he never does if you were any other girl — he crawls back into your bed, your sheets and pillows molding to the shape of his body.

you immediately curl into his chest like it’s instinct. filling in that space that’s always been yours. legs tangle. skin touches skin.

it feels normal but it’s not. not with so little between you. not with everything unsaid.

jeno holds you close like he always does but this time he wonders if it’s the last. the sound of his heartbeat lulls you to sleep but he stays awake, eyes fixed on the ceiling, counting the cracks in his heart, wondering how much longer he can survive being just your best friend.

his fingers thread gently through your hair, slow and careful, memorizing the feel of you beneath his touch. the familiar scent of your strawberry shampoo wraps around him, soft and warm and absolutely cruel. it smells like home, like comfort, like everything he’s always wanted.

and then, in a voice so quiet it barely disturbs the silence, he whispers into the night air, words only for the moon to hear:

“i’m in love you, bunny.”

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

the sun filters in gently, casting golden lines across your bedroom floor. you stir before he does, eyes blinking open to the soft rise and fall of his chest, quiet snores filling the air.

jeno’s arm is still wrapped around you, strong and secure, holding you like he didn’t want to let go. his face is relaxed, lips parted slightly, his usually styled hair falls softly on his features — he looks so vulnerable, peaceful.

he looks like the version of himself you remember all those years ago.

you should pull away but you don’t. instead, you study him — every line of his face, older now, more defined, but still him. you’ve seen him like this before, countless times, but something feels different now. you feel different.

and then it hits you, soft and sudden.

the feelings you had for him after you kissed him. the feelings you had for him when you wore your pink puffy dress, him in a pink matching tie as you danced the night away for prom. the feelings you had for him when he held you that night your world was falling apart.

you’ve always just needed him.

all of it crashes back into you at once — feelings you’d buried under years of pretending. years of silence. feelings you quickly tucked away the first time he talked about another girl.

the way you trained yourself to look away. the way you learned to smile through the ache. the way you accepted your fate of being his best friend.

your eyes drop to where your legs are still tangled with his, you notice the bulge in his sweats and memories of last night play in your mind. you feel his warmth everywhere and you wonder how you ever got used to not feeling this. how you ever convinced yourself that this didn’t mean something.

you knew that once he woke up. this would all be over. you would go back to being his best friend. back to the operation. back to the almosts that were always never enough.

so for a moment you let yourself have this, just for a minute longer. the closeness, the warmth, the boy who’s always been there. you snuggle into his side once more, nestling into the warmth of him, letting your eyes fall shut again.

the next time your eyes flutter open, you’re met with the cold reality you’ve always lived in. the warmth that surrounds you is gone. the space beside you is empty.

jeno is gone.

you sit up slowly, a heavy thud echoing in your chest, not of panic or confusion but just that quiet, hollow ache that settles in when you’re reminded that he will never be yours.

your eyes scans the room, no shoes by the door, his shirt nowhere to be seen. no signs he was ever there at all except for the faint scent of his cologne lingering in your sheets.

swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you wrap the blanket around yourself as if that would fill the space he left behind. you check your phone, hoping for a message but there’s nothing.

something twists in your chest — you were just another name on his list.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

forty-eight hours.

that's how long it has been since you’ve last seen your best friend. forty-eight hours of sitting in the library alone. forty-eight hours of him not showing up to your shared classes. forty-eight hours of absolutely no contact. your messages were left on delivered. no goofy tiktoks. no instagram reels. nothing. and you hated every second of it.

you miss him and you’re not entirely sure why he had suddenly fallen off the face of the earth.

giselle: hey girly! <3 go to the party at the dream frat tonight, the girls and i are all gonna be there! <333

giselle: and sungchan will be there ;)

you stare at the messages.

you had nothing better to do and you’re hoping that maybe you’ll get a glimpse of your best friend while you’re there. just to see if he was doing okay.

you slipped on a light blue mini dress that accentuates your figure, did your makeup, paired it with white heels and you were good to go.

the dream fraternity still had a pretty huge crowd considering it was a wednesday night. bodies pressed together, bass shaking the walls, the usual laughter and shouting blurring into one.

you spot jeno almost immediately, in that same corner he seemed to always be in. there’s a new girl on his arm — pretty, tall, fair-skinned. you don’t recognize her. something in your heart twists.

you knew all the girls he was seeing. every girl he flirted with, hooked up with, even the ones he ghosted. usually you were the first one he would tell it to. the first one to know everything about him.

but now? he’s shut you out. it was loud and clear. he has drawn a line between you. the same line he draws once he’s gotten all that he wanted with whoever was his current conquest.

you felt absolutely sick. the years of friendship going down the drain just like this. your heart splitting into two while he’s just standing there, laughing, flirting, completely unaffected by the wreckage he left behind.

if he doesn’t need you then you don’t need him either. if he can act normal then you can too.

you force yourself to look away, scanning the crowd until you spot giselle and the rest of the girls in the middle of the makeshift dance floor, “y/n! you’re hereee!,” she squeals, giving you a tight, buzzing hug that makes you laugh for the first time in days.

“here! take a shot!,” she hands you a drink and you down it quickly, the alcohol burning your throat in the best way possible.

the dj plays a song that gets everyone hyped up and you feel yourself letting loose, having fun, with the girls beside you, already feeling better than you did when you walked in here.

then a hand taps your shoulder and you turn to see the boy that makes your mind race into a million happy tunes, “sungchan!,” you greet him with a wide smile. he looks down at you, amused.

“hi, pretty girl,” he whispers in your ear, hands settling on your waist. his touch is warm against your skin but it doesn’t burn the way jeno’s did. doesn’t leave you branded.

“you’re not gonna run away this time are you?,” he teases, playfully, earning a giggle from you.

“sorry about that, i was just…too drunk,” you lie. the lie jeno taught you.

“are you too drunk now?,” he asks, leaning in, a twinkle in his eye.

you smirk, biting your lips, “no.”

sungchan kisses you, rough, fast and with no room for gentleness. this time, you don’t freeze. you kiss him just as hard. you let his hands roam around your body from your waist to your hips to your ass.

but kissing sungchan wasn’t like kissing jeno.

it doesn’t feel the same. doesn’t feel as good. there were no butterflies, no fireworks, no dizzy, floating feeling.

you’re still grounded. still painfully aware that you’re in the middle of drunk, sweaty strangers. he didn’t take you to a different dimension. your body was just there – moving your mouth against his like a robot programmed to do so. but your heart? your heart’s somewhere else.

and it was so annoying that at a time like this, your lips on your long-time crush, that you’ve made the realization that your heart was where it always was — in the hands of the boy in the corner.

the same boy whose lips, touch, words imprinted your heart in a way that you could never forget.

the same boy who could never see you the way you see him.

suddenly you pull away, too fast, too sharp – the feelings rushing into you all at once, suffocating, overwhelming.

sungchan stares at you like you were crazy and perhaps you are. “i-i need to use the bathroom,” you murmur, forcing a small, apologetic smile. he nods slowly, “alright, i’ll just be here.”

you quietly slip from his arms, pushing through all the bodies, barely noticing the music or the people pressing in on all sides.

and when you finally push open the bathroom door, it’s like exhaling for the first time in minutes. you grip the edge of the sink, chest heaving, trying to gather the pieces of yourself that scattered the moment you woke up alone.

you wished jeno was here.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

almost like he had a radar that went off, everytime you were near him. the second you walked through the door, jeno felt it. his gaze snapped to you instinctively but he looked away just as fast.

he’s not ready to face you. not ready to continue pretending.

the next time he saw you, you were making out with sungchan. kissing him the way he taught you. and god, he needed a drink. lots of it. the image burns in his mind, cruel and unrelenting.

he wants to chop off the guy’s hands. wants to make sure he doesn’t touch you ever again.

he wants him to know that his hands were on you first. that it was his lips he was tasting. that you were his.

but that’s not the case. so he goes and grabs another drink, another shot, another mix of poison to blur the pain.

the sound of your name snaps him back to reality.

“why do you keep waiting around for y/n anyway, there’s so many hotter girls around,” the voice is lazy, mocking, it was that wonbin guy from the riize fraternity.

jeno leans against the the wall, hidden in the shadows as he listens in on their conversation.

“well, one she’s hot,” sungchan snickers and jeno’s jaw tenses.

“and two, rumor is she’s still a virgin,” there’s a wicked amusement in his tone, “and we all know virgins are the hottest in the room.”

laughter erupts around them, sharp, cruel, echoing off the walls and that was all it took.

jeno doesn’t think. doesn’t hesitate.

in one quick second, he marched over, fist landing right on the sungchan’s jaw, the crack loud and satisfying, sending the soccer player tumbling backwards.

“what the hell?!,” sungchan yells, rubbing at his jaw before his expression twists in rage. in the next breath, he lunges. his fist catching jeno clean across the cheek.

jeno barely flinches. the soccer player was stronger than he thought, he’d give him that. but nothing is getting past his rage, adrenaline coursing through him.

he’s not done. not even close.

he charges forward, ramming sungchan into the wall with a force that rattles the shelves beside them, “don’t ever fucking touch her again,” he growls, voice low and deadly.

sungchan pushes back, shoving him hard, “she’s not yours,” and his words hits deeper than any punch could. because it was true. you weren’t his. and he’s almost sure you would kill him for this but he doesn’t care.

jeno throws another fist, connecting with sungchan’s ribs, making him grunt and double over for a second before retaliating with a wild swing.

more people gather now, phones out, flashes going off, chants of “fight, fight, fight,” increasing all around them.

sungchan, lunges, tackling jeno to the ground as they roll, fists flying, shouts echoing.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

the loud commotion coming from outside the bathroom door forces you to pick up the pieces.

shouts. thuds. chaos.

you quickly gather yourself, pulling open the door and following the swarm of bodies funneling toward the noise like a moth drawn to a light.

and then you see him — you know that figure immediately, even with his back towards you.

your best friend was on top of someone, fists repetitively slamming down. your heart lurches, legs moving before your mind can catch up.

they roll and you see sungchan’s face bruised and battered.

what the fuck?

around them, the crowd erupts in shouts and arguments, phones raised like this was some kind of show.

the dream boys were trying to get a hold of the situation but they too just ended up shouting and arguing with the riize fraternity, voices overlapping in a haze of testosterone and ego.

“your guy started it first!”

“you’re on our turf!”

the room was absolute chaos and no one’s doing a damn thing. you finally push through the roaring crowd, running over to them, until you’re at the center of the storm.

“stop!,” you shout, but your pleas are swallowed by the noise as they continue to take jabs at each other.

with all your strength, you yank on sungchan’s shirt, sending him stumbling off jeno.

you finally take a good look at your best friend, he had a nasty cut forming on the side of his forehead, face flushed and bruised.

“y/n,” he breathes your name like he’s shocked you’re here.

he stumbles to his feet, eyes darting behind you “get out of here,” he says urgently.

you whirl around only to see that sungchan wasn’t done. he was charging at your best friend again.

without thinking, you step in – fist connecting with his throat – sharp, clean, brutal. completely flying him backwards as he gasped for air.

the crowd cheers.

of course you knew how to punch, you grew up with three men three times your size.

“okay, that's ENOUGH!” mark’s voice rips through the room like a whip – loud and absolutely furious. the crowd freezes, the chaos dies down. he grabs sungchan by the arm and shoves him toward his crew.

“get the fuck out of here,” he commands the room, controlling the crowd. bodies scattering like cockroaches under a light.

you turn to jeno, chest heaving, fury radiating off you, “what the fuck was that?”

jeno flinches at your tone like it was more painful than any of the punches he had just taken. you were never mad at each other. not like this.

when he doesn’t answer, you turn around, jaw tight, ready to leave.

“wait–,” jeno jolts back to reality.

you pause, barely looking over your shoulder, “what?!,” your anger is palpable, brows furrowed, chest still rising and falling too fast.

he softens, “your hand is bleeding,” he says gently. you glance down at your knuckles, raw and stained red, the adrenaline fading just enough for the sting to set in.

“c’mon,” he grabs your uninjured hand carefully and without another word, he leads you through the dispersing crowd, up the stairs and into the safety of his room.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

you stand in jeno’s bathroom, the fluorescent light above casting a soft glow on both of you. he dabs the small, barely any, blood that had stained your knuckles, applying ointment on the tiny wounds.

“you’re being dramatic, there’s barely anything there,” you mutter, watching how focused he is.

“just don’t want it to get infected,” he says quietly, his brows still drawn together.

then with a soft chuckle, “i can’t believe you punched him,” he smiles his trademark smile and for a second, you forget you were currently angry at him.

“no one hurts my neno and gets away with it,” you tease, the words light on your tongue, but they steal the air from jeno’s lungs. you were always protecting him.

your eyes meet his and the moment stretches. but then you remember yourself, remember why your chest is tight and your heart is sore. so you press your lips into a thin line, forcing away the smile that appeared.

a quiet silence hangs in the air, heavy, almost awkward, until jeno’s voice breaks it, “done,” he says, turning to leave the bathroom and into his bedroom.

before he could take another step, your hand captures his wrist.

“your face is bleeding,” you point out.

you guide him to sit on the edge of the tub, slotting yourself between his legs. no matter how mad you guys are at each other, this is what you do. you take care of each other. your fingers are careful, precise, as you press a cotton pad soaked in alcohol to the gash on his temple.

a particular swipe on the cut stings him, a hiss slipping past his lips as his hands instinctively finds the back of your thighs, gripping, like he’s grounding himself through you. the small contact is enough to bring back that familiar knot tightening in your stomach.

“stop being a baby,” you say, dabbing again, “this is your fault.”

he smirks faintly, “how are you so sure i started the fight?”

“please,” you scoff, “in what world would sungchan go up to you and punch you? especially since he’s in your territory,” you point out, quite familiar with the whole fraternity rules.

he sighs in defeat.

“what happened anyway?,” you ask cautiously, not sure if you were ready for the answer.

“nothing,” he says, a little too quickly.

you stop, eyes narrowing, “no secrets between us remember?,” you remind him.

right, that silly rule you made when you were eight years old and still held on to to do this day.

jeno sighs, his shoulder falling, “he said something about you. i didn’t like it,” he confesses and you still.

“what did he say about me?,” you ask, curious.

“that he only wanted you because you were a virgin,” he mutters, jaw clenching again like it’s the first time he’s hearing it. the urge to punch sungchan in the face coming back in seconds.

it was supposed to hurt. it was supposed to leave you angry, embarrassed, hollow — to hear those words coming from the boy you’ve had a crush on since freshman year. but that feeling of heartache never came. instead, confusion clouds your chest.

why did he care? that wasn’t supposed to be his battle.

“hmm,” you hum thoughtfully, tone laced with challenge “and what if i was okay with that?”

his hands on your legs twitch, just slightly

“you shouldn’t be,” he snaps, “you shouldn’t lose it to a guy like him.”

and just like that, the anger ignites. your hands finish cleaning him up in cold, calculated movements. you removed yourself from his space, placing the first aid kit back in the drawer with a little too much force, organizing everything just to keep from exploding because who the hell was he to decide who you should have sex with?

“oh? and who should i lose it to?,” you seethe.

“a guy like you?,” there’s a sort of anger in your voice that jeno can’t quite read.

“aren’t you the same?,” you throw at him, voice trembling with fury.

jeno furrows his brows at your insinuation, like he’s been slapped, “y/n–,”

“you left, jeno,” your voice is quiet, but it slices through the space between you like a blade. you give him one last look before storming out of the bathroom. and jeno finally understands it all.

“wait, bunny–”

you don’t stop. not even as you hear his footsteps close behind you, not even as your chest rises with every breath that feels too heavy to hold.

you make it into his bedroom but before you can reach for the door, his hands close around your wrist, gentle but firm and in the next second he spins you around and crashes his lips onto yours.

the fire in your chest blazes and still, you kiss him back.

the kiss melts into something deeper, hungrier. your hands grip his shirt as his thumb brushes your jaw. he pulls away just enough to press his forehead against yours, both of you breathless, hearts racing.

“that’s why i left,” he murmurs, voice barely a whisper between your shared air.

your brows draw together, confusion clouding your gaze, “what does that even mean?”

“can’t you feel it,” he says, guiding your hand to his chest, letting you feel the frantic rhythm beneath your palm, “the way my heart is beating, it only ever races like this because of you,” he confesses.

you swallow hard, barely finding your voice, “but you left,” you remind him, “why did you leave?”

his eyes flicker with something raw, something that’s been buried for too long, “because i couldn’t pretend anymore,” he says, voice shaking with the weight of it, “i couldn't go another day being your best friend–not when im so fucking in love with you that it hurts.”

his confession leaves you stunned and you can’t believe how blind you’ve both been. all these years of mutual pining, years of missed moments, of stolen glances and silent aching all leading up to this moment.

a tearful laugh escapes you, half breathless, half broken, “you’re a fucking idiot,” you whisper, voice shaking with the force of everything you feel, a mixture of love, frustration and the tenderness of finally hearing the truth.

with urgency, a quiet desperation, you pull him back in, leaning up to kiss him.

the kiss is slow but intense, full of everything you’ve both kept hidden, everything you’ve both wanted for so long.

jeno doesn't need to hear you say it. he feels it in the way your lips meet his, the way you kiss him like your very existence depends on it. he knows now that you’ve been waiting for this – waiting for each other, for the truth that was always there.

you deepen the kiss and jeno meets you with equal fervor, tongues moving with an ease that feels natural, as if it’s a rhythm you’ve both known forever.

you guide him towards you, steps slow but deliberate, until the back of your knees hits the edge of his bed, falling into the softness of his sheets, pulling him down with you, lips never once breaking from his.

pushing yourself up until your head hit his pillows. jeno follows your lips like you were magnets drawn together. he couldn’t get enough.

you pull on the hem of his shirt. jeno quickly tugs it off over his head, tossing it to the side, diving right back into you. the kiss is hungry, steamy, full of tongue, leaving you no room to breathe.

your fingers dance through his skin, feeling every muscle. jeno guides you to sit up, quickly finding the zipper in the back of the dress, sliding it off your body, leaving you in a lacy blue underwear that makes his cock twitch.

the dress didn’t warrant a bra, your breasts immediately exposed to the cool air, making jeno groan in satisfaction, his large hand latches on to your tit, loving the way it fits perfectly in his hand.

“you’re so beautiful, bunny,” he praises before his tongue circles against your sensitive nipple. he looks up, not wanting to miss your reaction. light, breathy moans spill from your lips, back arching at his touch, feeling every warmth he left behind.

he moved all throughout your body, taking his time, memorizing every detail, worshipping you with every brush of his lips.

his hand slip under your panties, wet and soaking for him. the familiar circles of his fingers on your clit immediately sends a wave of pleasure through you. you were already shaking, that fire inside you growing.

that delicious stretch of your pussy as he stuck two digits in makes your eyes roll back, overwhelming in the best way possible, a broken moan spilling from your lips. your hips move on their own, grinding on his hand, chasing that friction you can’t get enough of.

jeno has already memorized you. curling his fingers just right, dragging them against that spot that made your thoughts scatter, heat spreading through you so quickly.

“jeno—” his name left you as a gasp, pleasure building deep inside you. this time you knew what it was, “i-m coming,” you moan.

“i got you bunny, let me hear you” he whispered, his pace quickening, matching the frantic way your body moved with his touch, until you were spilling into his hand.

he coaxes you through it, littering soft kisses on your ear, along your jaw, down to your neck — making sure to leave a mark.

making sure everyone knew that you were his.

your eyes flutter open. there was still that growing fire inside you, burning hotter, higher. you needed more.

when you reach down for his belt, fingers clumsily fumbling at the buckle, urgency pushing you faster than your hands could manage, jeno snaps out of the trance he’s in, making his way back to your eyes.

“are you sure?,” he gasped, the words rushed, like he was forcing them out before he lost all sense of reason.

you nodded so fast, so desperate, “jeno, please.”

“we don’t have to do this, bunny, we can take it slow…i don’t want to rush you,” he panted, voice fraying at the edges. the thought of stopping absolutely wrecks him but you are more important than the desire spreading through him.

you refuse to wait any longer, you’ve already waited years. your whole body aches with the need you’d kept buried for so long. the need only he could fulfill.

“neno,” you whispered, voice trembling with need, “i want this…i need you.”

his resolve shattered at the sound of your plea.

“okay,” he breathed, kissing you gently before finally discarding his pants, boxers following suit, leaving him completely bare.

slowly, he removed your panties, the last remaining cloth between you. he reaches over his nightstand drawer, pulling out a condom and wrapping it on his hard cock, a grunt spilling from his lips.

“still sure?,” he searches your eyes for any signs of hesitation because if there was, even the tiniest one, he would stop immediately. no questions asked. no regret. no matter how badly he didn’t want to.

“so sure neno, it’s always been you,” you whispered, threading your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer, letting him know that every single piece of you wanted him — heart, body and soul.

that was his final confirmation.

he kissed you once, slow and tender, before his hands roamed, leaving goosebumps that made you ache even more, “i’ll go slow,” he promised, voice thick with emotion “tell me if you need to stop, okay? at any point bunny, i’ll stop.”

you nodded, your heart hammering against your ribs so loudly you were sure he could hear it. fear and want and overwhelming love swirling in your chest.

finally, he aligned his cock against your hole, hand shaking slightly as he guided himself into you.

the stretch burns — it was nothing like his fingers, his cock was harder, thicker, fuller. and you’re not entirely sure if he could fit.

instinctively you tensed, eyes shutting close at the pain, a whiny hiss slipping from your lips.

jeno immediately froze, his thumb stroking soothing circles against your hip, “you’re doing so good, bunny,” he praises, forehead resting against yours, “breathe for me okay? we can take all the time you need,” he was so soft, so caring, so gentle.

your fingers tighten on his shoulder, just for a second, letting him know that you understood.

jeno fought to stay still, fought to put you first. but god, it hurts. you felt so good around him. so tight. so warm. he needed to move.

you forced yourself to relax, letting out a shaky breath and he pressed forward again, slower this time, giving you time to adjust to another inch of him.

“almost there, bunny, just a couple more,” he says softly, treating you like glass. you were so fragile. so pretty. your eyebrows furrowing in pain, lips parted slightly.

it hurt but it was jeno, and that made it bearable. your tight walls continued to adjust around him, molding to the size of his large cock.

with one final, gentle push, he was fully seated inside you, grunts spilling from his lips onto yours.

he stayed there, not moving, just breathing with you. trying to control his own desires. one hand cradles your cheek, carefully pushing away the hair that has stuck to your skin, “you’re amazing,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple, “taking all of me,” he continues praising, “so perfect, bunny.”

a few tears slid from your eyes. from the sting, from the love, from everything. jeno kissed them away with such tenderness.

“i love you,” you manage to whisper, his lips on yours in an instant, savoring it. the words makes jeno shift inside you.

that small burst of friction is enough to ignite the pleasure. it still hurt but you needed to feel it, to feel more.

and when you finally whispered, “move, please,” jeno felt like the air was rushing back in his lungs.

only then did he start rocking into you — careful, controlled, every movement meant to bring you closer to pleasure.

he angles his cock perfectly, each thrust sending a a wave of butterflies in your stomach. the pain slowly disappeared as your walls sucked him in, until you were only left with pleasure so mind numbing, you can no longer think about anything but the way the tip of his cock kept on kissing that spot that made you see stars. he was perfect.

“fuckkk bunny, you take me so well, pussy was made for me,” jeno grunts hopelessly. he was coming undone embarrassingly fast. for someone who was supposed to be an expert, you had him trembling, shaking.

it was different with you — he loves you.

every emotion hits him to the fullest. he feels you all around him. his rhythm starting to stutter, abs starting to clench as he tried to hold on to the remaining sanity he had left.

“you’re making a mess out of me,” he grunts, “please come on my cock,” he begs, whines, pleading for permission. his fingers finding your sensitive bud, rubbing slow but harsh circles.

you’ve never felt fuller. never felt more satisfied. that heat spreading down to your toes, your head rolling back in complete bliss as the high came crashing over you in breathy, broken moans of only his name — pussy immediately tightening around him, sending him to his own release as he spilled into the condom.

through it all, jeno whispered against your skin, grunts of i love you’s and praises hitting your ears in the most melodic way.

when you both calmed down, he pulled you into his arms, head resting on the heart that’s always been yours.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

you woke up to jeno’s brown eyes already staring at you, his fingers gently threading through your hair.

“good morning,” he murmured, eye smile on display and in an instant the memories of last night came rushing back, vivid and electric.

“good morning” you whispered back, both of you grinning like lovesick fools.

“how are you feeling?” he asks softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

you smile at him, “i feel amazing,” you say, leaning up to kiss him.

his hand on your waist is hard to ignore. as well as the bulge that’s currently hitting your inner thigh.

“and you’re feeling excited, aren’t you?,” you pull back, slightly teasing him.

“shut up,” he smiles, cheeks flushing, “it’s not my fault i woke up next to my very hot girlfriend”

your eyes widen slightly, “girlfriend, huh?”

“mhm, is that okay with you, bunny?”

“hmm,” you pretend to think about it but the smile tugging on your lips betrays you, “sounds perfect.”

jeno pulled you in for another kiss, his smile pressed against yours. before he could deepen it, you pushed him down to his bed sheets, hovering over him with a gleam in your eyes.

“what are you doing?,” he rasped, the bold movement catching him off guard, making his breath shift, excitement coursing through his veins.

“girlfriend duties,” you smirk.

you littered kisses down his body until you were head to head with his cock, already flushed, thick and throbbing for you.

without hesitation, you licked a slow stripe up his length, tasting him, humming in satisfaction before wrapping your lips around his tip and taking in as much of his length as you could.

jeno watched you, his hands behind his head, a proud smirk on his face. and when you look up to make eye contact with him, his smirk fades into a helpless groan.

“fuck, you’re gonna kill me,” his hand instantly threading into your hair, bunching it up and pushing it out of your face. he wanted to see you. wanted to see your mouth around him.

you hollowed your cheeks and started to move, bobbing your head at that speed you knew he liked.

what can you say? you’re a quick learner.

his hips twitched, barely holding back from fucking your mouth.

every wet, obscene sound filled the room, and you loved the way he was falling apart for you, chest heaving, hands gripping you tighter. his grunts make you clench around nothing.

jeno came in minutes, gasping for your name as he struggled to breathe. his hot release shoots down your throat. this time, you swallowed every single drop, milking him dry, only pulling off when he whimpered from overstimulation, pushing your hand away.

“how the hell are you already so good at that?,” he groans, the aftershocks of his orgasm still hitting him.

“i have a really good teacher,” you chuckle, making your way back to him, kissing him, making him taste his own juices as your tongues battled for dominance.

jeno flips you over, roughly, quickly, the sudden shift making you squeal in laughter, as he settles in between your legs.

“your turn,” he says, voice low and dangerous.

his mouth immediately laps around you, licking, sucking, spitting — filthy and hungry. it was so messy, so wet, so crude, and yet it felt so so good. your head is spinning, heart racing, thighs trembling

you’re right there, at the edge, ready to fall — and then the door swings wide open. you shriek, arms crossing, immediately covering your chest just as jeno scrambles to hover over you, covering every inch of you with his large frame.

“jeno what do you want for break—?” jaemin barges in, stepping into the room like he hasn’t just shattered the moment.

“oh,” jaemin smirks, this situation extremely familiar, “i see,” he teases, tone dripping with fake innocence.

jeno’s entire body stiffens, his butt literally clenching as he growls, “jaemin, get the fuck out.”

he doesn't spare the boy a glance, focused only on making sure he doesn’t see any part of your body.

jaemin bursts out laughing, “alright alright, enjoy your breakfast,” he says before locking the door behind him and leaving the two of you alone.

the second he’s gone, jeno exhales a heavy breath of relief. you both lie there, faces burning red.

“i’m gonna kill him,” he mutters before the two of you erupted in giggles, your shared laughter harmonizing in the air.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

a week of being jeno’s girlfriend could only be described as pure bliss. the perfect balance of best friends and lovers. you were the power couple, always walking into the room like you owned it.

not much has changed between you two, you still tell him to shut up, he’s still dramatic, still the best of friends, except this time there’s a million shared kisses, lingering touches, whispered confessions and sex (lots of sex).

he’s unlocked something in you. something wild, primal, greedy — desire wrapping it’s hands around you. you can’t get enough of him. you craved him again and again and again.

and jeno was just undone, just as hopelessly in love. he thought his sex drive was bad before, it’s even worse now. every little thing you did triggered him — a smile, a glance, a soft laugh, it all sent him spiraling, desperate to have you. his need for you was overwhelming, a fire he had no intention of putting out.

he taught you how to touch yourself, you watched him masturbate. he kissed you in places you never knew were sensitive, made love to you in so many different positions, locations, each one leaving you breathless and trembling in his arms — making up for all the lost time.

today, when jeno walked into the library, he noticed your figure missing from your usual shared table. you were supposed to be here by now, you were always here at this hour.

his eyes quickly scan the space, feet walking around, searching every corner, every dusty nook, trying to find a glimpse of you. he finally spots you at the corner, tucked away in the back with the old shelves filled with forgotten books.

“what are you doing all the way over here?,” he asks, snapping your attention towards him, as he placed a soft kiss on your temple.

“just wanted a quieter place to read,” you feign innocence, picking up your book and pretending to be interested once more. jeno doesn’t question it, just pulls out the chair beside you and sits, his thigh pressed hard against yours. he pulls out his assignments, busying himself.

“neno,” you call out to him, a playful flicker in your eyes as you put your book down, “want to know a fun fact?,” you say.

he smiles at you, still unaware of what you had brewing in your mind, “sure, bunny.”

you lean in close, your chest brushing against his arm, “i’m not wearing any panties,” you whisper, only for his ear to hear.

he gulps, eyes quickly scanning the room, afraid someone was close enough to hear that. when he realizes you two were definitely alone, he finally takes in the fact that you were wearing a cute pink skirt, “fuck, are you serious?,” he whispers.

you shrug, “why don’t you find out?,” picking up your book, a playful grin on your lips, you flipped through the pages pretending to be interested, excitement bubbling inside you.

you didn’t have to tell him twice.

you flinched slightly when his cold fingertips first made contact with your thigh, slowly slipping underneath your skirt, leaving a trail of goosebumps. you barely had time to react before his fingers slipped between your thighs, urging them apart.

and when he finds you bare and soaked for him, jeno can’t help but let out a groan, his cock twitching in his pants.

you just started a dangerous game and he was eager to play. eager to ruin you in this public space. excited to watch you try and hide your moans.

“so fucking warm,” he muttered, fingers collecting your juices as he slowly swiped up and down your folds, making you feel every graze of his finger.

you grabbed the edges of the book, trying to stay calm, trying to act normal even as jeno slowly, deeply slid a finger inside you.

you choke on a silent gasp, disguising it with a fake cough and jeno finds it absolutely amusing. he has no plans of taking it easy on you, especially since this was your brilliant idea.

he moved lazily at first, curling his finger inside you, feeling every clench, every desperate little twitch of your body. watching you bite your lip as you tried to contain the moans that we’re begging to be released.

“good girl,” he murmured, kissing you on the temple.

his free hand picks up his pencil, as he continued to work on his assignment, like you weren’t falling apart under the table, “just stay quiet for me, yeah?,” he smirks.

you don’t even manage a response. afraid that once you open your mouth, a loud moan of his name would slip out.

he starts writing in his notebook, fingers still moving inside you, edging you on with every second. you shifted in your seat, hips tilting up without meaning to, chasing the rhythm he set. needing him to go faster — to finally take you there.

jeno knew exactly what you needed, even without voicing it. he adds a second finger, stretching you wider, making your eyes flutter shut, your grip on your book tightening, holding onto it as if it was your lifeline.

your boyfriend grinned cockily as he fucked his fingers into you.

you thought you were safe, hidden enough until you heard distant footsteps of someone wandering nearby.

your eyes immediately snap to jeno, silently begging him to stop as you tried to shut your legs close.

but his hand was too strong, keeping you open for his fingers, “you wanted this, you’re gonna take it,” he mumbles into your hair. he didn’t stop. in fact, his thumb brushed against your clit, harsher, faster.

you buried your head in your book, biting your lip so hard it hurt, but still a tiny strangled whimpered escaped.

the footsteps paused, just for a second.

you held your breath, heat traveling up to your head, jeno still working under your skirt. the danger of being caught made it even hotter. your pulse pounding loud in your ears, body burning under his touch. and then the footsteps continued, fading into silence again.

jeno chuckles under his breath, fingers thrusting deeper, faster, his thumb never leaving your clit.

“almost got caught, bunny,” he teased, voice low and thick with lust, “bet you’d love that, huh?”

the thought made you tighten incredibly around his fingers, orgasm crashing over you like a wave you couldn’t stop, body jerking slightly in the chair as you hunched over the table, hiding your moans in your arms, desperately trying to stay as quiet as possible.

jeno’s fingers continued to work you through it until you were limp against the table, panting softly.

he pulled his fingers out slowly, letting you feel every second of it. you already felt so empty without him. he brings his fingers up to his lips, sucking them clean with a soft, sinful groan.

you sit up, watching him, wrecked and cheeks flushed, your heart pounding so hard it was all you could hear, a small satisfied grin on your lips.

jeno leans in, kissing you gently. you taste yourself on his lips, then he smirks, that devilish smirk, whispering against your ear, “next time…you’re sitting in my lap.”

𓏲 the end.

—

18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content

bonus: this is so lee jeno x bunny coded -> click here

—

an: posted this earlier than i planned because if i even spend one more day with this, i’m never gonna stop writing but ahhh i can’t believe my time with this couple is over, i love them so bad!!! i hope you loved them too!

marks story is up next! since he did technically win the poll — pls give me nickname suggestions for mark’s girl! i’m currently thinking kitty but im not 100% sold >.< — she’s going to be a little more feisty than the others! slide in my ask for suggestions or simply comment here! pls!

likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated ⏦ﾟ♡︎

tagging: @bluedbliss [if you would like to be tagged in future stories of this series, please let me know <3]

[sourrpatched]

𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

PAIRING: drummer!Lee Jeno x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: Lee Jeno is in desperate need of release. The problem is he’s not exactly stuck on the whole groupie concept, that’s where you come in. His bartender friend who’s a struggling writer that’s in need of some real inspiration. The suggestion is simple, friends with benefits. The only catch is, don’t fall in love, which should be easy considering the two of you have no intention of ever falling in love anyway.

WORD COUNT: 28k

WARNINGS: humor, fluff, angst (if you squint), smut (MDNI), public sex (does in a car count), unprotected sex (pls wrap it up), biting, fingering, oral (f!recieving), light sub/dom play, cum eating, mutual masterbation, these two are very dense, they’re also extremely silly

BEFORE YOU READ: reading the first story isn’t necessary but there are many appearances and references to things in the first one so to better understand read Francis Forever!

NOTES: I’m sooo sorry about the delay for this one but it’s here and instead of posting on friday i decided why not now! I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing!!

explore the 𝑹𝑶𝑪𝑲𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑺 here!

spotify playlist that helped inspire me while writing can be found here

Part One: Early Spring

Sugar, we’re going down

 ☆ 📚 ☆

You stood in the center of the familiar crowded office, your lip in between your teeth as a sort of calming method. It was complete silence safe for the ticking of the clock that crescendoed with every second, building up your anticipation.

It was half past three which meant that if you were lucky, you’d have time to arrive home for a quick celebration with your cat, Meowy, before getting ready for your shift later tonight. You were confident this time, there were only so many mistakes you could’ve made after about ten different overviews of the same work.

The cough along with the sound of glasses hitting the table was enough for you to concede that the read through was complete. You were about to speak when the cherry haired woman spoke.

“No.”

Your feet would’ve collapsed into themselves if it wasn’t for the chair in front of you that your hands grasped at for dear life. You were sure she could hear the squeak of your last bit of humanity slipping away. 

“I must end it all,” your head shakes, refusing to meet the eyes of your friend, Shuhua.

She sighs, the scene in front of her reminiscent of the past few times you had asked her to read over your work. “Don’t be dramatic, get up.”

You stood up straight again, her soft nod a quiet way of telling you to take a seat. Ever since you were young you’d wanted to become a writer, and luckily enough working as a Bartender for one of the city's most frequented exclusive bars had its perks. You met Shuhua around the first month of working there, having built a friendship ever since she ordered a dirty martini. She was the owner of one of the biggest Publishing companies, and was very willing to help accomplish your dream.

Only that took way more effort than you ever thought possible. Shuhua was very confident in your work, the only problem was that she thought you weren’t being authentic enough. It wasn’t like you weren’t trying to, it’s just that sometimes work dragged on and took most of your energy for the day, and by the time you met the deadline, your work came out rushed in areas.

“Y/N,” Shuhua starts, your voice ringing out and cutting her off before she could continue. 

“It’s the Amusement Park scene right? I was half asleep when I wrote it that morning and I should’ve read over it again before printing it out.” You spit out, words tangled together because unfortunately you were always one to grow chatty when nervous.

“That’s not the problem,” Shuhua answers flatly. Your brows furrow. “Chapter thirty two.”

You flushed red, of course you knew what part that was. Not exactly because of it being your own writing, you could forget your own name if it weren’t for your nametag, but because it was the scene you dreaded most when you went over the draft.

Smut scene, not exactly your forte.

“Y/N, I mean this with all uttermost respect, are you even trying?” She flips open the book onto the page in question. “He kisses me. Very nicely.” She reads the words you wrote aloud and you could feel yourself sinking into the seat with every next sentence.

“I mean seriously,” She tosses the book down once again, “Is there a reason your skills become equivalent to that of a six year old when you write a smut scene?”

“I’d be concerned if a six year old was writing that.”

“You know what I mean,” She sighs, “Look Y/N I mean this as a friend, but even more as a publisher, I know you can do better than this. The rest of the novel is proof of that.”

You smile at the compliment. That means she at least liked the majority of the story. 

“Wipe that smile off of your face,” You frown again. “Tell me, what’s the problem? You can’t exactly have a smut book without any of the smut.”

It wasn’t that you weren’t trying to write smut, it had been the best way to navigate the built up emotions from both characters who seemingly hated each other before that, it was necessary. You hadn’t taken into account just how lacking you were in that department until you sat at four am, your computer brightness at full.

“The problem might be me,” You confess. “It’s not like I have much experience to base anything off of.”

Shuhua sighs, “No, that’s not your fault, some men don’t exactly offer the best services when it comes to getting off.” She meant that. It had been the topic of the first conversation you both shared after about three dirty martinis.

“Guess it doesn’t help that the closest I've been to touching a man’s body in a year is brushing hands with the DreamCafe cashier the other day.”

Shuhua’s gaze is pitiful, “Y/N, are you serious?” You nod. “God this is going to end up published five years from now if we keep up this pace.”

You purse your lips, not exactly knowing how to respond. Your list of experiences was about the size of a quick shopping list, and it wasn’t like you were against the idea of sex either, you just were a bit too busy to just go around looking for the first attractive man in your area. Most of the guys around were ugly too, and if they weren’t then they were clients at your workplace, which meant it was a no-go. 

The last thing you needed was to bump into a one night stand asking for a shot of whiskey. Besides you’d been hit on enough at your job to know that most men were way too easy, and something about that just grossed you out. Your friend's eyes brighten, an idea taking place in her mind that forms into a smirk on her face.

“What?” You ask, looking around the room as if it wasn’t just the two of you in there.

“I say this with all of my heart,” she raises a brow, “if you want a good story, you have got to get laid.”

You chuckle nervously, standing up and wiping off your pants. “No thank you!”

“Nope Y/N I’m serious,” She raises her voice slightly, she always did this with other clients but when it was directed to you it was a bit scary.  “Consider it. It might get your creative juices flowing.”

“I don’t really want to think about any juices right now.”

Shuhua rolls her eyes, picking up your paper and reaching forward to pass it to you. “You have amazing skill Y/N, I am not at all doubtful of that, but I think that this could help you sort things out better. If you don’t want to of course you don’t have to, but if that’s the case then I’d consider publishing this without the smut scenes.”

You were barely out of the door when you began contemplating her suggestion. The smut scene was necessary. There was zero way that you were going to publish the book without it, it would feel like you gave up if you did. 

You groaned loudly, the stares from the workers occupying the same elevator going unfazed with how deep in thought you were. Maybe Shuhua was right? Maybe hooking up with someone would make things easier for you as a writer. You always get the best inspiration when you force yourself to explore new things.

The only issue now was who would be your pick? The last thing you needed was to join a dating app and end up meeting a serial killer, you saw that in a movie once. Time felt like a ticking bomb now. If you wanted this book done by the end of the year, you had to do something about your problem, and you had to do it immediately.

☆ 🎸☆

The subtle bed squeaks and giggles were something Jeno usually had zero problem sleeping through, after all for a good few years he was the main person causing those noises. Countless hookups and one night stands he brought back to the shared apartment that he thought didn’t matter much anyway because the other guys were just as loud as he was, except for Jisung and Mark, and because it’s not like any of the girls they saw were here to stay.

He was regretful now as he laid in bed, his pillow squeezed tight around his ears to try and tune out the rest of the world from outside his bedroom door. Now the problem was simple, he was growing a bit more frustrated the past weeks. The rise of Oblivion was still subtle, but he wasn’t a stranger to the city anymore. 

And most would assume that was the best part of their growing fame but really it was the opposite. Jeno never really got the whole Groupie thing, sure he tried it a few times but really revisiting the same face every night wasn’t his style. Usually because it ended up causing assumptions to be made. Like your balls deep in a girl four times out of a week and suddenly she thinks that means that she can stay over and make you dinner, or call you baby and make arrangements to introduce you to her friends.

Jeno shuddered, the memory of Lia making him cringe. He had been in a dry spell ever since. It wasn’t so bad at first, Jeno was an introvert by nature so unless he was tagging along with Donghyuck and Jaemin at their club escapes he was pretty content staying home and hoping on league. But lately he felt like he was really going to go insane, it didn’t help that every other night there were enough sounds he was shocked there hadn’t been any noise complaints. 

Jaemin had suggested he just cave in, let the groupies run their course explaining that not all of them really searched for something more. Jeno declined. Jaemin wasn’t much of a convincing person when he had a stalker problem not even three months ago. 

But now as he hopes that the pillow on his face can cut off enough of the oxygen in his body to have him pass out for at least a couple of hours so he wouldn’t have to hear the monstrosities happening outside, he thinks maybe it would’ve been better if he did have a hookup he could meet up with right about now just to save his eardrums.

He decided for the next best option. Going on a walk and making his grand escape hopefully before the funny business got any louder. He shoved off the pillow, pulling up his phone to check the time. Right on schedule. 

Jeno tried to open and close the door quietly enough to make his presence unknown, but unfortunately the great squeak from the hinges had betrayed him. Causing both his friend, Jisung, and Jisung’s girlfriend to shoot up from where they sat very comfortably on one another on the couch, in a position that made Jeno wish his vision was worse than it already was.

“I- Jeno! When did you get here?” Jisung stuttered, his cheeks growing red by the second.

“Never left,” Jeno shrugged, “sup Darling.”

The girl only smiled tightly, refusing to meet his eyes after he’d caught the two in a compromising position. Jisung scowled, not a fan of how popular the nickname had become within the group of guys since he’s the one that created it in the first place. There was no use in arguing against it now though, not when their fans had already began to implement the nickname themselves. 

“Y’know if you’re going to fuck it would probably be better not to on the couch, it’s kind of a general rule.” One that Jeno could attest to never breaking.

“We weren’t going to–“ Jisung’s brows furrowed in annoyance? It was always so easy to tease the guy. He took a breath instead, ignoring the obvious bait. “It’s four pm, you do understand that right?”

“Yep,” Jeno starts, “Late night.”

Usually Late Night was code for a more rated R style of living. Now poor loser Jeno used the term for what were nights of binge watching Formula One Race highlights and an occasional jackoff session when he really couldn’t sleep. What? It was scientifically proven that release made for better sleep quality.

Darling chose to finally speak then, “Tomorrow you should post a picture or something, fans are wondering what their favorite drummer has been up to.”

He cringed, not too sure just how much fans would be interested in his new super boring lifestyle. “Yeah sure, i’ll get to that.” He could probably just take some pictures today while he’s out running to post for later. “Everyone else out?”

Jisung nods, his attention on the TV as he scrolls through what shows and movies were suggested. “I think Mark went to go help his mom back home today and Jaemin tagged along.”

“He’s not trying to get into Mark’s noonas pants anymore right?”

Jisung chuckles, “No, pretty sure she’s engaged now.”

In Jeno’s humble opinion as a twenty five year old, engagement at twenty six seemed pretty soon but to each their own. No seriously, because his parents themselves were pretty adamant on him finding a potential girlfriend and or wife soon. 

He shakes off the thought, “Hyuck?”

“Who knows, the guy has been way too secretive lately for someone who loves to be in everyone else’s business.”

“You’re still mad he tried joining us on our first date?” Darling reached forward tugging on Jisung’s cheek, a smile on full display.

Jisung rolled his eyes, “Tried is an understatement, he literally sat at the table right next to us.”

Darling only cooed at him, the two becoming lost in their own little world of smiles and extreme public display of affection. Jeno held back a groan of annoyance, instead choosing peace. Since it was late that at least meant that he had time to stop by the bar, he was pretty sure you were scheduled to work today also so why not make things better by venting all of his problems with a couple of drinks in between.

“I’m going out,” He announced to nobody apparently since neither one of them spared him short of a glance. 

Apparently tonight was an exception to an empty club, what with being a Thursday. He’d made an entrance and beelined directly to the bar, which was a bit busier than he usually found it.

You were busy serving up someone’s drink to notice him, a man who stared at you a bit longer than some may deem normal. It wasn’t long until you slid over a glass to the man, who took it with a small glint in his eye and offered up a piece of paper before whispering to you and walking away.

“What’s that about?” Jeno asked curiously, though he was sure he knew exactly what it was about.

You barely flinched, having already noticed his presence before he spoke. “Number,” You groaned before throwing it into the trash, “Why are all of these rich folks so greedy. I work for tips not for numbers.”

Jeno laughs, “Oh I'm sure he wanted to give you a tip alright.”

You deadpanned, already concocting his drink of choice, “You’re here early.”

“Couldn’t exactly get anything else done,” He smiled sweetly in thanks as you slid over the glass.

You giggled, knowing exactly what he was implying. “Donghyuck?”

“Worse, Jisung.” 

That got your attention, the shock in your face masked by your hand coming up to stop yourself from laughing. “Wait really?”

“Unfortunately,” Jeno sighs, “It seems he’s been getting more action than me nowadays.”

Your brows furrow, “Is Lee Jeno in a dry spell?”

“The worst kind,” He groaned, downing the rest of the drink with a quick chug. “I mean seriously, you know how tired my wrist is?”

You laugh, “Whatever happened with Lia?”

Jeno let out another sigh, “Didn’t last long at all. None of them do, at some point they think that they’ll get a little love story when I make it very clear from the start that i’m in no way looking for anything like that. Doesn’t help that because of Jisung and Darling, people assume the rest of us are looking for that.”

“Ah yes,” You slide over another serving you must’ve mixed while he started his rant. “Who would dare assume a twenty five year old wants to settle down.”

“I’m serious,” You chuckle, proceeding to make another person drink while he continues to rant. “It’s like no matter how up front I am about only wanting casual sex people expect to change my mind. It’s exhausting.”

“Tell me about it,” You sigh, “The persistence of some men around here really does give me the creeps. The other day I had to ask Heejin to walk me to my car cause this guy kept saying he would see me after my shift.”

Jeno frowns in concern, “You could’ve called me to pick you up.”

You shrug it off, “It was late anyway, and I had things to take care of.”

“Ah,” Jeno laughs, “You’re still working on that porno.”

“Will you shut up?” You look around frightened that anyone overheard him, lucky for you the crowd had died down.

“Have a drink with me?”

You raise a brow. “I’m on the clock.”

“Then after.” Jeno replies, taking another sip from his glass.

“I’m not drinking that fuck ass poison you sip on.”

He holds back a laugh, “You forget you’re the one who invented it.”

The memory springs to life, the first time you’d practiced mixing drinks for your bartender certification and Jeno being your willing subject. In his defense, he could handle his liquor quite a bit, and being young and broke meant that he’d take any ounce of free alcohol necessary.

You had mixed the worst kinds of alcohols together, whiskeys and tequila stirred into a concoction that somehow looked purple. Jeno had taken a careful sip, not before asking you just how safe it was, and though it must’ve been the most awful thing he’d ever tasted he couldn’t help but give you a shaky thumbs up. You’d been so excited to make your own recipe, and he was in no way going to burst your bubble.

It became his drink of choice since then, and despite the fact that you had tried it for the first time a year ago and realized just how disgusting it was, he continued to order it anyway. Maybe it grew on him, or maybe he just happened to succumb to Stockholm syndrome. Nevertheless, it was still his first choice.

“Yeah and i’ve since then improved, thank you very much,” You wring out a rag to clean up the table where some drunk had spilled a bit of his beer on the counter.

Jeno hums, “So then why don’t you prove it to me? Drinks later?”

You roll your eyes, never really able to say no to him. “If you can wait a couple of more hours.”

He nods, his eye smile mimicking that of a crescent moon. “Done.”

 ☆ 📚 ☆

Your shift went by quicker once Jeno had stopped by. Most of the drinks for the rest of the night were easy shots of whiskey that you served for the other customers besides him since you’d planned on drinking together. And it was nice, being able to make a bit of casual conversation in between working. It was always a relief when Jeno visited, even if that meant he teased you out loud a few times even in front of customers.

Luckily for him, you spared him a beating because he promised to buy your favorite. Somaek.

“I still remember when you would gag every time I ordered a beer,” Jeno jokes, poking at the last piece of fried chicken from the take out you guys had picked up before arriving at your own place. 

You laughed, louder than you had to because alcohol always had a way of making you giggle over any and everything. “I told you, when you mix Soju you can’t taste the gross beer flavor.”

Jeno hums, smiling at you as you devoured the chicken like it was the last meal on earth. His smile quickly vanished when he got a notification on his phone, the brightness only peeking for a second before he clicked his phone off.

“Who is it?”

“Lia,” Jeno groans, “she wants to know if i’d be down to meet up.” You hum, taking a last swig of your glass of somaek. “The worst part is if I were even slightly more tipsy, I think I would’ve caved in.

“You’re insane,” You laugh, the man only meeting your eyes with a look of desperation.

“Yeah unfortunately.”

You pause for a moment, your mind trying to fight against oversharing because when you were about two drinks in you got to that point. Ultimately you lost the internal battle. 

“I’m not having too good of luck in that department either,” You match Jeno’s energy with a sigh. “What makes it worse is that Shuhua says I gotta get laid cause it’s making my book bland.”

He coughs, “What?”

“Yeah,” You continue. “Don’t laugh but I've been really struggling writing a few of the more.. intense scenes. I’m really trying though, it’s just the idea of sex with a random stranger really is weirding me out. Then there’s the deadline, I wanted to have this done by the end of the year but Shuhua’s convinced that unless I get hands on inspiration then i’m totally fucked. Not literally but figuratively—“

“Wait wait wait,” Jeno interrupts you. “You’re telling me Shuhua told you to find somebody to fuck or kiss the book deal goodbye?”

“No? She said I could always just take out any sex scenes.”

Jeno snaps his fingers then, raising his glass to his lips. “But you’re perverted and refuse to.”

You frown, “I’m not perverted! Last I checked i’m not some freak who got hard on a carnival ride.” The memory of Disco pang pang was horrifying at the time it happened, now it was funny to look back on. Especially when you used it against him.

Jeno flushes red, “I told you to stop with that already! I wasn’t hard, it was my phone in my pocket.”

“Yeah sure thing neno,” You winked, pouring yourself another two to three ratio of soju and beer, Jeno’s hand subtly moving to help steady the glass as you poured the shot of soju into it.

“You’re irritating,” He rolled his eyes, though you could tell by the small smile tugging on the corner of his mouth that he was far from being angry at all. It’s just the way the two of you teased one another.

“And you,” you raise your glass like you were making a toast. “need to get laid.”

He lets out a dry chuckle, raising his own drink to clink yours. “Can’t argue with that.”

As you sip down the now room temperature beer, the bitter taste hardly effective since you were now tipsy enough you could hardly taste alcohol, an idea hit you straight on like a bus. You eyed the man in front of you, him being completely clueless to how you were observing him like he was a science experiment.

He was busy calling out meowy’s name with a few psst psst in between to get her to stop playing hard to get and let him pet her. By the time he set your cat onto his lap your mouth spoke before your brain could stop it.

“We should have sex!”

Jeno’s eyes widened tenfold, and because of how you’d forgotten to adjust your volume before speaking, meowy became startled and ran straight out of the living room space and into your bedroom.

His silence lasted long enough for you, despite the cloudy mind, to understand just how bizarre the suggestion was without any explanation. So you gave him just that. 

“Think about it neno,” The usage of the childish pet name in this topic of discussion caused you to slightly cringe. “You need to get laid because your brain refuses to function without direct stimulation to your– thing.” You emphasized the word by jerking your hand forward in the direction of his crotch. “And I need to get laid so I can get inspiration for my book!”

The man was too stunned to speak, his hands coming up to his face to rub at his eyes like this was a dream. Unfortunately for him, it was not. “You can’t be serious.” He finally speaks.

You nod, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know y/n maybe because i’m your best friend and I don't think we’ve ever seen each other in that way?”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes, “There’s no romance to this at all. Sure attraction plays a subtle part in this but it’s mostly about trust.” He sits still for a moment, pondering. 

“We don’t have to, it was just a suggestion.”

You say it as if the words that left your mouth weren’t just a ticking time bomb in Jeno’s poor mind. You took another swig of your drink, falling into the same ordinary rhythm the two of you had from earlier.

Jeno speaks up barely holding in a cough when he asks, “Trust?”

You nod again, “I don’t really want to just sleep with just any guy, most of them don’t even know how to please a woman let alone charm them. I need inspiration, not regrets.”

Jeno smiles at that, “So you’re saying I know how to please women?”

Instead of falling into his bait you offer a shrug, "I've heard word, why? You saying what I heard is wrong?”

He chuckles lightly ignoring your dig, “Not at all. Just taking precaution. Wouldn’t want you to end up like Lia.”

You suck your teeth in annoyance, “You wouldn’t have to worry about anything, it’s not like it would change anything.”

“Y/N,” He calls your name again. Only this time there’s no teasing, no mocking. “You do realize that sex can change a lot of things for some people.” He speaks honestly, most of it coming from experience of countless horror hookup stories you’d heard first hand time and time again. “I trust you a lot, and i’m not against the idea but I don’t want things to ever get weird for either of us,” Jeno sighs. “The last thing I want is to make things complicated.”

“Well then it’s a good thing that none of us are looking for anything more than sex.” You reply directly. “The best part is it shouldn’t be awkward at all, we know each other well enough.”

Jeno takes a moment, a deep breath of consideration while you’re busy swirling your glass around. 

“Okay,” He answers, your gaze falling over to him in an instant. “We can talk more about this later then, when you’re not drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.”

He hums, “How many fingers?” He asks as innocent as ever, contradictory to his middle finger standing straight and tall in your face.

“One,” You answer, shoving his hand away. “and you can shove it up your ass, asshole.”

He smirks, “According to our earlier conversation you’d probably prefer it up yours.”

“Motherfucker—“

“I’m serious though Y/N, we can talk more about this later.”

You frown. “Fine,” You stand up from where you sat on the floor, “then i’m going to bed.”

“Go ahead,” He says it like it’s his own house. “I’ll clean this up.”

“Sure,” You reply, stretching your arms and legs before heading for your bedroom. “Use the spare by the way, don’t go home this late.”

You were able to afford an apartment with a spare bedroom, one that Jeno often occupied. Especially these days with how many people were staying in the band’s shared apartment these days. 

“Yeah yeah, make sure not to sleep on your back, the last thing I want to wake up to is you dead from choking on your own vomit.”

“Don’t say things like that!” You shout in disgust, earning a laugh from him.

“Goodnight neno.”

“Night, Princess.”

☆ 🎸☆

Jeno always knew you were unpredictable, but this moment really took the cake. 

He had cleaned up your apartment, figuring that the more he kept his mind occupied the less he had to actually overthink the arrangement you had suggested.

On one hand, the message was clear. You both got along so well because of how similar the two of you viewed the world. Hookups were nothing more than a sense of relief for you both, so as much as he loved to tease, he knew that there really was nothing to worry about. The other hand was complicated because for some reason he began to over analyze everything. 

How would this work? Would the act itself be awkward? Would this ruin your friendship? Is this a one and done deal?

There were too many variables to consider, and Jeno wasn’t sure how this would go about if you weren’t just talking out of your drunk mind and really meant it. He took a deep breath as he stared into the mirror in your bathroom, setting down the toothbrush he had there because of course he had his own.

And as he laid in the spare bedroom, the subtle scent of your lavender sheets filling his brain, he chose to do what was either going to be the worst mistake in his life, or the best.

Really though, what was the worst thing that could happen? The both of you have sex and hate it?

“I stand by what I said,” You mumbled over the spoon in your mouth. “I think it could do us both good.”

Jeno had barely gotten the sentence out when you brought up the question again, this time over breakfast without any alcohol in your system to use as a cushion in case Jeno declined. Though Jeno wasn’t too sure you needed it anyway.

You were firm with your question, not in a way that made him feel like he had to agree but instead as if it was a simple request such as, What should we have for dinner? and not Do you want to have casual sex?

“You don’t have to agree with me, I can always figure out a solution to my own problems and I'm sure you’d have zero problems in that department either.” You added, looking over his arms that were pretty distracting. He was wearing a sleeveless tank top, the shirt of his he left with a pile of clothing, largely consisting of hoodies you had borrowed and forgot to give back, and clothes he kept at your place for the times he would stay over.

The issue was the opposite. Jeno has had many problems in that department lately.

“Okay,” Jeno begins, clearing his throat. You reacted with wide eyes. “Yeah sure why not?”

You smile happily, as if he’d surprised you with an all paid trip to the Bahamas or something. “Jeno, you have no idea how much this is going to help me!”

He frowns, surely you couldn’t be that inexperienced. The two of you had countless stories shared. You especially had a habit of rambling about. 

“Wait,” You hop out of your seat. “We need to make a list of rules!” Before Jeno can comment you’re already running to your room, returning slightly breathless with a pen and paper in hand. 

You set it down on the table slowly beginning to move the pen drawing line after line, your writing was surprisingly messy for someone who was an author. Jeno didn’t comment on it though, he doesn’t have time when you’re already pushing him further down the dining bench, scooting closer to him as you set down the paper that now reads. 

Rules for our arrangement.

“What’s this?” Jeno asks, earning a bored look from you that translates to, are you really asking?

“Rules, I think it’ll be best so we can note our boundaries before just hopping into things.” Your smile is tight but genuine, which only makes Jeno realize just how nervous you really are. You weren’t the type to show your fears, but you were always one to be cut and clear about anything else you felt. 

Jeno nods along, smiling softly in hopes that it’ll help you feel less awkward. “Okay, what do you have in mind?”

You smile widely, this time with full fledged confidence. “I’m glad you asked. So for starters, I think it’s best we start this arrangement with a few notes on what we are okay with and things we aren’t okay with.”

“Like?” Jeno asks before taking a sip of water out of his cup.

“Like, Anal!” Jeno chokes on the beverage, coughing repeatedly to regain composure. His scene doesn’t alarm you much, so you press further. “I don’t ever want anything up there.” You state flatly.

“Sure,” He nods, having cleared his throat and this time taking a sip to fully clear out his throat. “it’s not really my thing either.”

“Great.” You write down the first rule, Sex will only involve things the both of us are okay with. And in parenthesis: No Anal.

“Is there anything you wouldn’t want to do?” You question him. Jeno tries to think, it’s a bit harder to think about when you’re put on the spot. There’s nothing he’s too uncomfortable with that he wouldn’t just say in the moment, so he opts for the obvious answer.

“No Anal.”

You let out a laugh, “Great I guess we're both on the same page then.”

This felt almost ridiculous, but as long as you were happy he wasn’t going to question much. “Another thing, I need your permission to allow all of our uh– experiences to be used as inspiration for my novel.”

“I know Y/N trust me i’m cool with it.”

“Okay because the last thing i’d want is for you to be offended or upset if I write something you disagree with.”

Jeno shook his head, “Nothing to be ashamed of, I have quite the reputation i’ve upkept.”

You scowled, his cocky attitude baiting your reaction. “Okay, but don’t be offended when I make sure to add your size.”

“Is that supposed to be a threat? Because I can show you now if you’d like.” Jeno replies mockingly, reaching for his shorts.

You reach to stop his hand, “Let’s keep it in your pants at least a little while longer.” He shrugs, his arms folding around his waist as you write.

“Are there any rules you want to add?”

Jeno ponders for a moment. There wasn’t much he thought he could add with all seriousness. The situation itself was not very serious on his part, sleeping with a close friend all because he couldn't find a regular hookup who didn’t want dinner dates and eventual marriage? He felt pretty ridiculous, but since you had been the one to suggest it, it at least kept him from feeling like a weirdo. 

There was one thing he needed as a rule, something that would give him peace of mind going into this arrangement.

“We have to separate our sex life and our friendship.” He spoke after some time. You had met his eyes with a brow raised.

“I’m sure that’ll be a bit difficult considering we’re going to be friends who fuck.” You joke.

He lets out a small chuckle, before adding with complete sincerity. “I think it’s important that we keep both our sexual life and our friendship separate. There’s no reason to let any of it get mumbled and jumbled, that's why friends with benefits never work.”

“Right,” You breathe out. “So then you’d prefer?”

“I’d prefer that no matter what happens, things won’t ever change. No matter what. Even if we stop sleeping together, we need to remain friends.” 

It wasn’t just a request, what he wanted was a promise. One on paper that was needed in the rare case that everything went to shit. He wouldn’t be able to agree to it at all if that wasn’t agreed upon.

You met his eyes, a reassuring smile on your face. “Then if at any point any one of us want out,” You scribble down the rest in handwriting he could hardly understand. “or for any other reason, we talk to each other.”

The room was met with silence as you finished writing down everything, reading it over like it was one of the ten commandments until the two of you had it ingrained in your brains. 

The quietness only broke when Jeno laughed aloud after teasing you by moving his thumb away from the ink you had to stamp his fingerprint on the paper. All uneasiness or anxieties vanished just like that, the two of you rebooting back into your playful dynamic.

“There!” You exclaimed happily once Jeno gave in and allowed you to bring his red stamped finger onto the paper. 

Jeno hardly had time to admire you, his phone alarm going off reminding him of the Band’s practice today. He locked his phone, the blasting sound coming to a quick halt in an instant.

“I have to go now.” Jeno stood up from the seat, sliding across the floor easily even while you were still sitting. 

“Wait!” You stuttered, a blush reaching your face as all nervousness came back in full force. “Uh. When did you want to start? Y’know.. doing.. stuff.”

Jeno had to use every fiber of his being to resist making fun of you. “Whenever you want to.”

You nodded. “Then how about tomorrow? I don’t have work so we could maybe, I don't know, go out?”

Yeah, Jeno really had to use the last of his restraint. He chose to laugh instead, “You trying to ask me out on a date?”

You scowled, “I’m just trying to set the mood.”

“Yeah i’m not sure that’s how friends with benefits really works,” He says too casually for someone who has never been in that arrangement until now.

“Right.” You reply.

“Y/N,” he calls out. “You can just call whenever you want to.”

He hopes the implication is clear.

“Sure, you too.”

With the way you look at him he knows that you understood. There’s a quick goodbye before Jeno is out the door. He hopes the guys don’t mind his slight tardiness, though if he’s serious almost all of the group had a problem being late to practice.

He feels a bit of relief, the two of you having found solutions to your growing problems. Well, at least a bit of his growing problems, but it wasn’t something he’d like to dwell on at the moment. 

There wasn’t much anxiety, at least on his part, more so the awkwardness radiating off of you not knowing how to start but he was sure that the feeling would shrink with time. If he weren’t booked and busy with practice at the moment, he would’ve probably tried easing your embarrassment using a different method. That was mostly him thinking with his dick, which nobody could blame him for, it had been a pretty hard couple of months.

All in all, Jeno couldn’t feel more confident. It was a win-win situation, and since the both of you had agreed and talked everything over he was sure that nothing would go wrong.

☆ 📚 ☆

The moment Jeno had left your home, you let out a deep sigh. 

To be completely honest, you had woken up this morning pulling the hair from your head as memories flooded your mind. You weren’t even sure you had wanted to step out of your bedroom hearing the man lurk around the place from behind the door. 

You debated resting until he finally gave up and left, but the growl your tummy had let out at the smell of everything delicious wafting into your room had caused you to cave in.

On the bright side, as much as you were stupid and impulsive, he’d actually agreed. It saved you the embarrassment of being rejected, not to brag but that wasn’t something you were accustomed to experiencing. And now all of it was hitting you, at full force.

Friends with benefits.

You genuinely had zero clue just how that worked, did this mean that now at any time either one of you could just call on one another like a booty call? You let out a sigh, Meowy let out a meow in response, like she was asking where the man had gone.

You weren’t quite sure that you made the best decision, but only time would tell. For now you could feel ease creeping up your spine, this would solve one problem for now and in the worst case scenario, it would probably end in bad sex. 

It was a chance you were more than willing to make.

There was nothing that could’ve mentally prepared you for heading into this type of arrangement. And no it wasn’t the friendship thing, it was not knowing just how to jump start into sex without looking insane.

The two of you sat in your living room, barely any distance between the two of you where you lay on the floor, watching the TV. Which was ironically out of the norm when the two of you were usually cuddling during your movie marathons. Everything felt off, even the movie playing on the TV that truthfully you randomly picked and now realized was definitely not something you were rating higher than one star on Letterboxd later.

Meowy had made herself a bit too comfortable with Jeno. Lying on his lap like nothing mattered in the world more than his hands petting her. Ridiculously enough, you felt a short wave of envy, shoving that feeling down immediately because in what world would you be jealous of your cat for living carelessly.

You were sure it had been almost an hour of just sitting next to each other, not a single one of you moving a single bone in your body. You were pretty sure he was waiting for a signal, but every time you had the nerve to try, you shrank in on yourself in an instant, overthinking everything. It was like the moment had long passed, that was until the worst thing imaginable happened.

There were moans blaring out of the TV, the movie having shifted from its weird cultish horror vibe into a porno. Meowy wasn’t a fan of the shift in volume, hopping off of your friend and walking away into her cat bed. You cursed silently, of course your cat would leave you to fend for yourself.

The uncomfortable silence filled the room, safe for the excruciatingly long sex scene playing out in front of you that felt like it was mocking you. You were suddenly thankful the room was dim enough that your redness would go unseen.

“Are you trying to subliminally tell me something?” Jeno whispered, his voice too close to your ear that only made you blush harder.

You refused to meet his gaze, if you did then you’d lose the last of your dignity. For a moment you weren’t sure how to reply, deciding to use all of your strength to sound as confident as ever.  “If I was then would that finally get the ball rolling?”

He chuckled, his hand suddenly slipping around your waist. “Is that what you were waiting for?”

There were always times where the two of you would have a conversation and he’d allow his cocky nature to slip out. This time felt different though, it was like the room shifted with his tone.

“Yes.”

His eyes widened at your response, a slight falter from not having expected you to be so honest. “Then I'm sorry I kept you waiting.” He answers truthfully. His arms suddenly pull you closer to sit on his lap. The same arms that he left on full display with his sleeveless shirt, it really didn’t make things any easier for you. You’d been making subtle glances at them hoping he was into manhandling, which seems now you were right.

“How should I make it up to you?” He tilts your chin up with his fingers. Your faces are only inches apart. Damn he was good at this. You were aware of his game, you’d seen it play out many times in person. But why did it suddenly feel so different when it was directed at you? You suck in a breath, his thumb tracing the side of your stomach louder than the long forgotten movie playing behind you. 

“Y/N,” He calls your name. “We don’t have to do anything.” His voice is soft and reassuring, only adding fuel into the growing heat.

“I want to, it's just,” You frown, hoping you don’t sound ridiculous. “I don’t know how to start.”

He nods in understanding, his palm wrapping around your cheek. “Do you want me to lead?”

“Please.” 

You were sure you came off a bit more desperate than you meant to, but with the way his hips suddenly shifted just a fraction gave you the feeling he wasn’t complaining.

“Okay.” His voice is featherlight, you could feel his breath quicken as he closes the distance between you. “Then is this okay?” He asks, his thumb still tracing over your body, now fixated on the lower curve of your back.

You barely manage to nod before he’s connecting his mouth onto yours, a short peck to feel out the action before fully engaging. If any of your worries still existed they were certainly gone now, tuned out by the heavy beating of your heart. You leaned forward this time, your lips meeting this time with much less hesitation.

Jeno brought his right hand up to cup your face, his left hand around your waist, the grip firm to hold you in place. His teeth bite into your bottom lip, pulling a tiny gasp from you just to slide his tongue over the skin. You take that as a challenge, meeting him with your own eagerness and sliding your own tongue into his to deepen the kiss.

He groans, his hips shifting you into a more comfortable position on him. You’re not sure how many seconds pass like that. You slightly grind against him, the simple peck from earlier turned into a full on makeout session. Your hands fondling his arms to keep yourself from losing all of your balance as it grows heated. And just as your chest begins to tighten with every breath of yours being stolen by him, he pulls away.

You take in a deep breath trying to steady yourself, his eyes meeting yours with a question. One that you already have an answer to.

“Bedroom.”

The word comes out rushed and whiny, earning a low chuckle from him before he lifts you up with him. You had of course made out with people before, most of that happening in your early college years but this time was different. Jeno had taken your breath away but with that all motor function too, you noticed it now as your feet felt way too light.

He must’ve picked up on it, instead lifting you into his arms like you weighed equivalent to a pillow to him, and heading straight towards your bedroom. “Neno–“ You squeaked out, caught off guard by his sudden action. You couldn’t see his face from how he was carrying you over his shoulder but you were sure he was giving his signature samoyed smile.

You were proved right a moment later as he steadily set you down onto your bed. “Tell me, Princess, just how many book drafts of yours played out like this?”

Your cheeks reddened, he was spot on with the question. Male lead plopping the Main Character onto the bed before pounding into her with zero warning. The only thing that was missing was the use of his belt as a restraint for the main character’s hands. As much as that sounded interesting though, it was a little too early to hop into something as complex as that. So for the meantime, this would do.

It must’ve been a rhetorical question, since he doesn’t give you time to answer before he's lifting your shirt up and off your body. You pull him in for another kiss, all tongue and teeth, your patience growing thin with every second building up. You let out a happy sound, one that he drinks up, one hand sliding against your back to unclasp your bra in a quick second.

You push him back, noting the messy hair and the way his chest is practically begging for air. “You are way too good at that.”

“What can I say, i’ve had some practice.” He replies, meeting your mouth for a deep but short kiss compared to the ones before. You get the memo and start removing your own bra, discarding it onto the floor. But as a simple minded woman who believes in equality, and seriously loves a nice chest even on a man, you lift his shirt up all the same, meeting your own pair of fabric somewhere you couldn’t care less about.

He detaches from your lips, his mouth leaving kisses around your neck before slowly making it down to your breasts. “Fuck, you’re just as beautiful as I imagined.”

“Have you imagined me in this position on multiple occasions?” You tease, not expecting an answer.

“Only since I had to leave you to go practice when we signed our lives away.”

“That was only a day ago.”

“Really? It felt way longer than that.” Your words catch in your throat with how close his breath is over your sensitive nipple, every nerve in your body on standby waiting for him to do something. Lucky you, he doesn’t leave you waiting any longer. His mouth connecting around your chest and sucking harsh enough to make you moan.

The pleasure is foreign to you, the only experience you had being your own hands pinching against your chest whenever you seeked pleasure by yourself. Other men had usually disregarded that part of your body at all, unless of course they used it to their own benefit, squeezing onto your chest as if it were their own personal stressball. With every lick to your nub it sent a jolt to your body, growing hotter. 

You could barely keep your eyes open now, focusing all of your attention on keeping the noise down because it wasn’t like you owned the house, it was rented. Jeno’s hand snakes down again, this time sliding through the elastic waistband of your shorts, tracing the thin fabric of your panties slick with your arousal.

“Neno please,” You whine, your hips growing weak even to the slightest touch of his fingers against you, subconsciously trying to grind down on his hands.

He detaches from your lips, his gaze hazy while he meets yours. You can already feel the ache on your chest from the littered bruises he’s left forming. Jeno must be growing impatient too, because he’s pulling down your shorts at your plea in record breaking time. 

“Lube?”

“The bottom drawer to the right.”

The loss of his touch feels like an eternity of hell until he’s back again. Your cunt clenching against nothing as his hand pushes your legs further apart. You have to give yourself a moment to calm your nerves, the sound of the bottle opening signaling them to come back at full force.

“Fuck baby,” Jeno starts. “We might not even need that much with how wet you are for me.”

As cocky as he sounds, it only fuels your fire. Fuck Jeno for living up to his expectations without even having fucked you yet. You already felt stupid enough.

He slides a finger through the lace fabric, shoving it to the side as his middle finger pushes through your folds, the bed talk stalling you for long enough to warm the lube he’d gathered onto his fingers. It worked well, your cunt squeezing around his finger from where he curled it up. His fingers were much thicker than yours, a feeling you hadn’t felt in quite a while because you’d been the one prepping yourself most of the time.

“Another one please,” You breathe out. His ringer finger pushes in next, filling you up more and causing another moan to push past your lips. 

“You’re so tight,” He mutters, his eyes zoned in on the way your cunt sucks in his fingers. His hand is moving on its own then, dragging slowly out of you before pushing in with more force. You let out another whine, your thighs threatening to shut on instinct to which he pinches them.

You wince, caught off guard by the sudden sharp pain as he smoothes his finger over the spot. “Keep them open, be a good girl and do that for me.”

The nickname does something to you, call it a hidden praise kink you hadn’t even realized you had until now. Jeno’s fingers are moving with much more pace now, not enough to completely satisfy you but enough to have you seconds from begging for more. His mouth clashes against yours again, swallowing every low noise you make as his fingers scissor you apart, and when he finally adds the third finger you feel seconds away from snapping. 

You accidentally bite down on his lip, a warm metallic taste meeting your mouth that you can’t help but to taste more of. Jeno has no issue with this, the thrust of his fingers getting more urgent than before, his tongue begging to taste more of his own blood mixed with the sugary taste you have from snacking on artificially flavored gummies.

“Fu–nghh— neno”

You’re close, and all it takes is one sharp thrust of his fingers curling right into the spot you needed him most to have you finishing. Your eyes rolling back with the very welcome feeling of your orgasm washing over you.

His fingers continue to move, dragging out your pleasure for as long as he could until you're wincing from the overstimulation to which he removed them, your cunt suddenly far too empty. You feel like your soul has been knocked out of your body, taking a few deep breaths to gather the last of your energy.

“Are you okay?”

The chuckle slips out of your lips before you can even stop it. “Dude you just made me cum from your fingers alone and you’re asking that?”

Jeno looks around, confused on how that’s a shocking revelation. “Yes?”

You sigh, “I’m okay, just need a moment.” You open your eyes, his large frame still holding your thighs apart in between you. You probably shouldn’t laugh at a moment like this, but he really looks just like an obedient puppy waiting for your next move. 

He catches the smile on your face, his expression growing confused. “What?”

“Nothing, you just look really cute right now.”

He frowns, “Aren’t I supposed to look hot and sexy and so unresistable you can’t help but climb onto me?”

You shrug, “sure you look all of those things too.” 

His frown deepens, he cups your hands with his own, holding them on either side of you, Not rough at all, if you wanted to you could move him off of you, but a part of you really liked the illusion of him pinning you down. Perhaps another time he’d really use all of his strength, now that idea sent another wave of arousal in between your legs.

Jeno catches on quickly, how can he not with the way you’re squirming around. “You like being manhandled?” 

You don’t answer. You trace over his body instead, eyeing the very prominent bulge in his pants. Since your legs were free now you bring up your knee, rubbing it ever so slightly against him. He shutters at the contact.

“Neno,” You whisper his name like it was a prayer. “I think i’m ready for the next round.”

He lets out a short laugh, though there’s hardly any humor in his tone whatsoever. You take note of his ears, the faint pink from how badly he must’ve been holding back. If you were reading him correctly, that meant he was probably too close to snapping. You were thankful he was focused on your knee rubbing against him, cause if he saw your expression now it would’ve given yourself away.

He lets go of where he had your hands, giving you the opportunity to wrap them around him and feel up his muscles you’d been way too distracted earlier to fully admire. 

“Fuck–“ He groans. The sound like music to your ears and further encouraging you to touch him. He pulls his shorts down slightly, revealing the waistband of his boxers, the print of his dick making your mouth water.

You’re already reaching forward, cupping him firmly. A wince sounding from his lips. “Can I?”

He nods. You hook down the fabric, his thick and needy cock slapping against him fully erect and flushed against him. You pump him twice, using your other hand to reach for the condom he’d grabbed earlier when he got the bottle of lube.

There was no going back after this, you did realize that as you rolled the condom down onto him. “You’re sure about this?” He asked one last time, his breathing heavy waiting for your answer to finally cave in.

“Never been more sure.” Within the next second you feel the stretch as he pushes into you, your cunt squeezing his thick girth inches at a time until your hips meet his own. He gives you enough time to adjust, kissing down the side of your shoulder to help calm your nerves.

It’s far from your first time, but this was nothing like any of the men you’d had before. His size fills you up in all of the ways you’d only thought possible in some kind of fairy tale.

The sound of your name being called makes you open your eyes that you hadn’t even realized were shut. You clench around him unintentionally, pulling a groan from his throat that only feeds your confidence. You could tell based off of how his arms tightened their hold around you, how wrecked he was. 

“You can move.”

He wastes no time, setting a slow pace that somehow drives him directly to your sweet spot. He’s way less quieter than you’d assumed he’d be in bed, his noises low yet heavy, matching your moans as he continues to thrust inside you.

It doesn’t take long for you to feel your orgasm approaching once more. And with how patient he’d been, it was like a prayer had been answered. 

“Neno I- I’m—“

“I know baby me too,”

With an embarrassing amount of thrusts the two of you came undone together. His mouth landing on yours to capture the last of your screams as your pussy clenched around him with your release, triggering him to finish into the condom.

After a quick moment of the two of you registering everything, you can’t help but laugh, Jeno's wounded expression only causing you to laugh more. 

“I’m sorry it’s just,” You catch your breath, stopping yourself from looking any more insane than you probably did now. “Fuck, those girls were really not lying.” His head tilted in confusion. “You really are big.”

He laughs then, "That's really nice and all but if you keep saying things like that I might have another problem.” He replies, referring to the fact that he’d just come once and was not quite ready for another round.

“What’s that saying? What’s one’s problem is another's solving?” You smirk.

He scoffs, pulling out of you with a swift action that makes you wince. “You could barely last one round, save it for next time.”

“Me?” You gasp. Jeno stands up already having discarded the condom in your trash. He’s reaching for his boxers from the ground to put on as some kind of shield. You were a bit disappointed, his size while soft was surprisingly just as impressive as it was when it was hard. “I came twice!”

He’s back then, a damp towel in his hand to clean around your sensitive thighs. “And you also scared the living shit out of me when you went limp after you came the second time.”

You roll your eyes, “Not my fault you fucked me dumb.”

He snorts, tossing the damp towel onto the ground as he lays back down beside you, pulling you close to his chest in what could be viewed to some as intimate, but to you two was normal behavior.

“Ew you’re gross and sweaty!” 

He hums, “So are you.”

You groan, “Release me you freak.”

“Aftercare is highly recommended after any heavy sex session, just lie with me for a bit, okay?”

“I’d argue it could’ve been heavier,” You mumble, succumbing to his hold around you.

“Next time,” His voice is light, leaving you with a strange sense of peace. You couldn’t help but stare now. With his eyes shut you could observe him closer than ever before. The soft lips of his that had been on you multiple different times tonight, red and bruised from the makeout session you had earlier. 

You squeeze an arm out of his hold, raising your fingers to trace over the small bite on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry I bit you.”

“Don’t be,” He sounded dazed, like he was seconds away from falling asleep. “If I had a problem then I would’ve stopped you.”

“Oh so you are a freak!” He hums, not denying it. “Oh my god you are, aren't you! No wonder those girls had zero plans on letting you go.”

He opens his eyes then, meeting you with a bored look. “I wouldn’t be talking if I were you, aren’t you the one who was seconds from coming just from me pinning you down?”

“What?” Your jaw drops. “That’s so untrue! This is defamation!”

He shuts his eyes again, seemingly ignoring your remarks yet keeping a smile on his face the entire time. 

“I could sue you! I’d take that drumset from you in a second.”

“Then would you take my job too?” He replies mockingly.

“Hey I could! The guys really happen to like me, you know I think if I talked it out with them we could work something out.”

He hums, “Then I guess i’d have to learn how to make some drinks and fill in for you?”

“I think bartender Jeno would suit you well.”

“Jeno? But what happened to Neno?” You regret even speaking to him instead of just playing dead after sex the second he brings up the nickname. 

You choose instead to turn your cheek to him with a pout. “You really love yourself some pillow talk.”

“I’m not the one who started it.”

“I wasn't pillow talking with you I was threatening you.” You retort. “You’re always so full of yourself you know not everyone is trying to bed you, right?”

He laughs, “Did I not just bed you?”

“Ah but that doesn’t count!” 

You’re both laughing then, every single ounce of regret fading away. You were silly to ever think that things could change between you two, and this was proof enough that sex didn’t necessarily mean everything would be different between the two of you. 

If you could flick off every movie and novel for overdoing the trope you would right now. Because as you laid next to Jeno you realized one thing, it would take more than just one hookup to erase the history you had both built together.

Part Two: 

Dare

☆ 🎸☆

Jeno was in no way secretive, but he also wasn’t the type to tell just everyone every single activity he found himself doing daily. He was quite the opposite to Donghyuck in that way. Where the lead singer acted as if he would die if he wasn’t in the loop twenty four seven, Jeno kept most things lowkey. 

But there was one issue with that.

“Late for the third practice in a row,” Donghyuck popped out of seemingly nowhere, trailing behind Jeno as he made his way over to the couch to set down his bag.

“Don’t know what you mean, Jisung isn’t here yet either.”

“Thats because the dude is probably getting his dick wet right now,” Jeno scowls at the idea, “You, have been getting zero action.”

“You don’t know what I do in my free time.”

“I know you’ve racked ten hours a day on valorant all last month,” Donghyuck hums, tilting his head like he had discovered groundbreaking information.

Jeno sighs. “You’ve been in my room.”

“I told you, your controller runs smoother than mine.”

“So then grab it and leave, why are you snooping?” Mark tunes in from where he’s standing, ironically enough, tuning his own guitar. 

“Because JenJen has been out way more than he usually is, and I know he’s not at any bars or clubs because I've been at all of them.”

“Ever considered he was avoiding you?” Jaemin smirks.

“Well no, that's unlike him.”

“I’m still here, y'know." Jeno shakes his head, nodding over at Mark in a quick apology. “Sorry, time went by quicker than I’d thought.”

It was the truth after all. He had made it very clear to you that he ran a tight schedule today, one that miraculously worked out in your favor considering how easy it was for Jeno to give into your whiny pleas. Especially when they were all he could hear with your hands in his hair roughly tugging as he ate you out slowly. It didn’t take long for you to finish on his tongue, it did however end with a quickie that lasted a bit longer than it should’ve.

“Don’t worry about it. Five minutes means nothing when you compare it to,” Mark checks his watch, the sound of the door twisting open. The creaky door revealed Jisung, who looked too sweaty for someone who drove himself here. “Ten.”

“I’m sorry I’m late I was—“

“Nobody wants to hear about your sex life.”

“I do.”

Jaemin winks at Jisung, the other frowning. Jeno would’ve laughed if it weren’t for the fact that if he made a single wrong move all attention would be directed to him. He moves away from the group slowly, hoping they’re too busy drilling the youngest to notice him slipping by. 

Unfortunately, that's not the case. “You alright man? I feel like the only times I ever see you is when we’re practicing.”

Jeno stops in his tracks, Mark standing before him with a slightly worried look on his face. Mark was a worrier. He didn’t like to make it very known, usually he played it off as just curiosity. But Mark always had the habit of playing with his fingers when he was concerned. 

“I’m great, actually just been spending more time with friends.” Jeno hopes the excuse is enough to let him escape, though if Jaemin was the one he said that to he would’ve been caught instantly.

“Oh,” Mark seems relieved, “Y/N? You should bring her over some time, or better yet bring her over to our set next weekend.”

“Yeah man I’ll let her know but I’m pretty sure she’s going to be busy.”

He knew you’d be busy, you mentioned that the night before, about how busy your work schedule was going to be and so there wouldn’t be much time in between to hang out. You had apologized profusely, to which he’d told you there was seriously no reason to. If he could last months without sex, he could last one week while he was out of town.

“Y/N! We haven't seen her in a while!” Jaemin joins the conversation, “How has she been?”

Mark is quick to give a short answer to him, one that Jeno is thankful for as he steps towards his place, drumsticks in hand. The other guys were still talking to each other, the conversation shifting to how Mark doesn’t appreciate them being late constantly. Jisung arguing about how he’s in more trouble when Donghyuck has shown up late to practice more times than Jisung. 

The guys were certainly not used to the rise of fame they’ve had, adjusting to a busier schedule and way more practice sessions than ever before. Jeno hadn’t even had time to check in with his family so much anymore because of how busy he was.

The reminder plagues his mind, making him reach for his phone to swipe through the family group chat that he hadn’t been catching up with for reasons that would only make him guilty. There wasn’t much to catch up on except for his cousin asking him for tickets to Oblivion’s show this weekend and another asking if he’s bringing Jaemin as his plus one to his sister’s wedding. That one he skipped past because Yeri had really been trying to make moves on Jaemin 

Shit. He had forgotten about how soon that was. He slid out of the chat, noticing a more recent text from his mother.

Mom: I hope you aren’t forgetting about the wedding. I ordered your suit for you and we still need to get it tailored. Stop by soon, I’ve seen my own son on my phone more than in person.

He shoots back a simple reply. He would make sure to visit her soon. More than likely after the show, since his hometown was only half an hour away. 

He hadn’t been home in a while, something he was regretting now that he realized it. He did love visiting his family, the problem was that as much as they supported him they, his mother mostly, couldn’t help but make subtle comments.

Like why wouldn’t he want his own place? She was willing to pay his rent so he didn’t have to share space with all of his roommates. Jeno declined on multiple occasions. As much as the guys were annoying, he didn’t mind their company.

Jeno grew up in a household different to the rest. His parents spent most of their time abroad, his father managing the family business and his mother spending most of her time performing in front of stadiums as a nation-known cellist. He did have his older sister, Seulgi, though she was busy with business school to eventually take on their family business.

He loved his family of course, and they loved him but being with the guys felt like he finally had brothers, annoying and kind of invasive, but brothers nonetheless.

“Okay enough screwing around, seriously.” Mark calls for the rest of them. The guys make their way to their positions, Jeno was about to set his phone down when he spots your message.

Princess: You busy tonight?

You had set your own nickname on his phone when you found out he had you as FN/LN, it stuck around since then. He smirks, typing in his reply. 

Neno: Why? 

You miss me already?

The chat bubble shows that you’re typing. He smiles to himself, awaiting your reply.

Princess: And other things…

I'm free at ten, you have a key.

He’s about to reply when Jaemin pops up from behind him, startling him into shutting his phone off. “Who are you texting?”

“Family.”

Jaemin scoffs, clearly not buying the excuse but choosing to ignore it. “Alright Vin Diesel.” He takes a few steps away, not before raising a brow like he was onto Jeno.

With what little time left before they start warming up Jeno sends a quick thumbs up, hoping that gets the message across clear enough. He can’t say he regrets any of the decisions made in the past few weeks, and if he could make an educated guess based off of how often you ran towards your laptop to write things down after sex, he was sure you felt the same.

He wouldn’t admit it to the guys, mostly because whatever he was up to wasn’t really their business, but also because he liked the sneaky vibe the two of you had going on. It wouldn’t last forever, that’s for sure. But could you blame him for not wanting his friends to ask question after question about you? 

If anything he was doing you two a favor, the guys would probably jump you with questions about Jeno that they would never be able to squeeze out of him. There was also the fear that if any of the guys started to catch on then he’d have to explain himself. They had already had a habit of teasing him whenever he mentioned spending nights at your place, even before this arrangement began.

Especially Jaemin who was always the hopeless romantic, reading into things too much. He always bugged Jeno with questions about you, ones like how nice you complimented each other, and how cute the babies would be if you wanted any. It was a problem that Jeno easily solved by setting boundaries, sure, yet still left him wary of telling his friend.

Jeno decided that it would be best to keep this from them, at least for as long as he could. It wasn’t so bad though, because on one hand while you got to tell your own friends, he kept it to himself. A secret that he cherished on his own, one that he could smile freely without anyone poking into what deeper meaning could be there.

☆ 📚 ☆

The last thing you expected was for you to be drunk out of your mind on a random Wednesday at six in the afternoon. It came as no shock that the reason came down to one single factor. Yuqi. The girl was known for her spontaneous trips all around the globe, so when she texted you to meet with her since she happened to be in town, you couldn’t decline.

So you had reluctantly canceled the plans from earlier with Jeno, one too many sorry texts and gifs until he finally called you to say it was really okay. Practice had gone on a bit longer than it usually was with their show coming up soon. And before you could offer another apology for not being able to go out and travel with him to see the band, he was already stressing that you need to worry less.

So that’s what you were doing now, relaxing with three empty soju bottles on the table to account for that. Yuqi sitting in front of you, picking at the samgyeopsal that you had eaten way too much of since she’d offered to pay. You couldn’t help the smile on your face, call it a buzzed daze or whatever but you felt good.

“Shuhua tells me you’ve been focused on writing,” Yuqi starts, “Says you’re trying to push yourself to release by the end of the year.”

You hum, batting your lashes to snap out of whatever daydreaming you’d been doing. “I’ve been pouring all of my hard work into it.”

Yuqi giggles, “Yeah, she said you’re not bad at all, just lack sex appeal.”

You gasp, “I’ll have you know that’s not true!”

She laughs louder, instigating just as she always did. “I’m kidding! She did say you were a bit stuck with the smut scenes.”

“Wow and I thought there was a non disclosure for book transcripts.” You joke, shoving a piece of the pork into your mouth. The sweet glaze being the first thing you taste as you bite into the meat, savoring the flavor like it was gourmet. You guessed that came with the buzz.

“Hey she said that I should talk to you about it, that I might offer good advice.”

“Cause you’re a sex fiend?”

She clicks her tongue, “Because I am an editor for one of the most recognized Magazine Journalism organizations in the world!” A few customers who happen to be dining in raise their eyebrows, giving you a look of disdain and annoyance. Yuqi bows her head slightly in apology before coughing and adjusting her volume, “And because I am a sex fiend, yes.”

“No need.” You reply, picking another piece of meat from the stove on the table. Yuqi frowns. To be honest, if she would’ve come around earlier offering you her own hook up stories than you probably would’ve taken that and used it for inspiration, but now you had your own experiences to use. Not that you had told anyone about that as of yet, so of course Yuqi was looking at you like you just turned down a million dollar check.

What Yuqi was offering was like a goldmine to early writers, ones who, like you, struggled with writer's block because of lack of inspiration. The only thing is, there wasn’t much left uninspired to you. Not when for the past few weeks since the first time you and Jeno had sex. If anything, you’d become quite the fiend yourself, texting him almost every day about perhaps trying something new. For research purposes of course.

“No need?” Yuqi spoke up, "Don't tell me you’ve replaced me with someone else. I didn’t even get to tell you about my trip to Thailand!”

She forgot that she did tell you about that trip, right as it was happening. She called you straight from the bedroom of some girl named Minnie that she’d met at a soirée where she downed way too many glasses of champagne to remember how she ended up in a different hotel room.

“Not replace you, just got some first hand experience.” You smile, refusing to meet her eyes as a warm smile makes its way on your face. She gasps loudly, having realized what the implications meant, the scattered people around shaking their heads at her volume.

“You found another fuck buddy?” She lowers her voice, leaning in closer to analyze any answer your body could tell her. Blame it on the alcohol and the dry mouth you get after a few too many shots, but you gulp. Her eyes widened once more. “Oh my god you did! Why wouldn’t you say anything?”

“Must I need to share everything?”

“Y/N,” She deadpans. “That’s like your main characteristic. Chronic oversharer?”

You open your mouth to reply but she cuts you off. “Don’t argue against it, it’s true! The first conversation we had was about how your childhood cat died and inspired you to become a Bartender.”

Rest in Peace Martini.

You shake your head, setting down your glass. “Alright, fine. Yeah I do, but it’s not like you think it is!” Yuqi tilts her head. “I mean that! You know i’m not really one to have a Fuck buddy.”

“Yet you do anyway?”

She was right, and your stubbornness hated that. “Only because it’s not just some rando!” This time, everyone’s eyes landed on you disapprovingly. You winced, quietly apologizing for your volume.

“Which is exactly why you kept it a secret in the first place, and why you refuse to tell me without sounding ominous, and also explains the fact that you look so tense right now because i’m putting all of the pieces together and— oh my god.” Yuqi pauses, “You’re fucking Lee Jeno.”

You almost spat out your drink, “How did you even guess that?”

“I had a hunch,” Her eyes trail down to your exposed shoulder, the sleeve of your shirt tugged lower than it was supposed to be. “Also I've only seen bites like that from one man.”

You weren’t sure if you should be concerned or jealous that she was familiar with his bite marks, not because the two of them had ever messed around but mostly because up until this moment you didn’t know she knew of his bedroom habits. You settled on fear. Yuqi’s guesses were never wrong. It was as scary as it was impressive. 

“Calm down tiger, I only know that because he used to hook up with my college roommate.”

For some strange reason that gives you a bit of relief. “I wasn’t going to say anything.” She stares at you for a bit, contemplating whether or not to argue with you, ultimately deciding not to.

“Fine, don’t say anything, just drink with me.”

You wouldn’t dare decline. Yuqi excuses herself, heading out to the bar to grab a few shots for a quick second. You’re left alone, scrolling through your phone and slowly thinking about Jeno. You think back to what Yuqi had mentioned earlier. Jeno’s fling with her roommate that you weren’t aware about. You can feel it again this time stronger, a pang in your chest that you refused to dwell over. Your attempts at ignoring fall flat because within the next second you slide into your recent chat with him, sending a text before your brain could decide otherwise.

Princess: What are you doing?

A few minutes pass with no reply until the notification comes in. It’s a picture of him in dim lighting, the only light coming in from what you assumed was his pc. He had headphones on, the mic barely covering his mouth. From the angle, you could see a bit of his clothing. A black tank top, that he apparently had multiple different versions of, his muscular arms on display. You bite your lip, saliva gathering in your mouth from how badly you needed that right now. The next message is short and simple.

Neno: On league w hyuck.

You feigned chalance, staring at the picture longer than you should’ve. Your eyes roam around the place, searching for your friend’s whereabouts before you could make a stupid decision. She’s nowhere, which meant one thing. Your finger is over the call button about to click when you hear someone come up, assuming it’s Yuqi you set your phone down. 

“Hey, are you lonely?”

A stranger you hadn’t noticed until now stood in front of you, the man clearly intoxicated with the way his speech was slurred. 

“Ah,” You look around for Yuqi, she’s nowhere in sight. “No not real—“

He doesn’t give any time for you to answer, sliding an empty chair way too close to you. From how close he is you can smell the alcohol off of him, even worse with the way he opens his mouth. “It’s not safe for your friend to just leave a pretty girl like you here.”

Your heartbeat rises, his words coming off way more threatening than friendly. You awkwardly laugh, hoping that you don’t at all look as scared as you feel right now. 

“Seriously, you’re fucking beautiful.” His arm reaches forward, holding onto your arm. “You got a boyfriend?”

“I–“ You stutter. Fuck. This was not at all how you were supposed to sound like. You’d experienced enough cat calls to know that the best choice in this situation is to walk away. For some reason though you couldn’t help but freeze up.

“Then how about you come with me tonight? I could show you a fun time.”

“How about you fuck off instead.” Yuqi appears out of nowhere, a deep frown on her face, the drinks in her hand coming down to slam against the table.

The man scoffs, looking more annoyed than frightened. “I don’t think someone like you should be talking like that.”

“And I don’t think someone in their thirties should have a receding hairline, but clearly I was wrong.”

He sneers, standing up from where he’s seated shortening the distance in between them. “Are you crazy?”

“Are you?” She starts, walking closer to him. In most scenarios you’d find your friend’s confrontational attitude inspiring, but right now all you could think about is just how drunk this man is, and just how many things could go wrong.

“Watch your fucking tone,” He stares down at Yuqi. “Bitch.”

You stand up then, trying to deescalate the situation without any hospital trips tonight. Yuqi opens her mouth about to start arguing back, the other people around doing nothing but sitting down in their seats. “Hey, there’s no need for any of this. I have a boyfriend, so if you don’t mind leaving—”

“What and I’m supposed to believe you?” He turns his attention to you. A group of men get up from their seats, quickly grabbing onto the man who you assume is their friend. They refuse to meet your eyes, instead trying to calm the guy down and take him back to where they were seated. 

“No fuck no I’m not leaving!” The man shoves his friend off of him. “These two bitches think they’re better than me or something.”

You hope he’s too drunk to notice the way you roll your eyes without thinking. As a bartender you’d seen many aggressive drunks, you knew better not to react spontaneously since they’d only take it as a challenge. You tried to keep your composure, instead turning your attention to Yuqi who had at some point during the dispute, grabbed onto her phone. 

You meet eyes with her, mouthing let’s go to her. She nods regretfully, holding back all of her anger on the tip of her tongue. You're about to step around him when he focuses on you. He grabs onto your wrist, “The fuck do you think you’re going?”

You pull your arm away, his grip not tight enough to scare you off. Okay, now you were seriously getting pissed off. “Dont fucking touch me.”

He lets out a deep chuckle, “Why? You seemed like that's all you wanted earlier.” 

Call it liquid courage but you felt a sudden surge of anger. All you wanted was good food, fun with a friend, and maybe a booty call at the end of the night not whatever bullshit this guy was on. You were off the clock for fuck’s sake. 

You're not even sure when it happens, just the direct aftermath. The man’s on the floor, blood dripping from his nose as you hold onto your hand. Your knuckles red from the contact to his face, more than likely going to leave a bruise. Yuqi’s eyes are wide, and you can tell she’s trying with all of her power to hold back laughing. 

The sorry guy is still on the floor, holding his nose and freaking out about the blood as his friends try to stop the bleeding and calm him down. You take that as a sign to leave, smiling and nodding at the crowd who are staring jaws slacked. Yuqi throws a quick few bills on the table before grabbing onto your non injured hand and dragging you outside of the restaurant. 

There she finally lets her expression change, her laughs filling the silent outside air. “Oh my fuck—“ She tries to catch her breath. “What the fuck when did you learn to punch like that?”

“I’m a girl who works as a bartender, it’s a safety measure.” You shrug, prompting her to laugh more. You fall into a fit of your own, her contagious cackling promoting you to join. The roads are hardly busy at all, a comforting fact to you when the two of you probably looked insane right now. 

She finally steadies her breaths, at the same time a car approaches the side of the road. One that you recognized as Jeno’s. He parks it, stepping outside of the vehicle and directly to the two of you. You suck in a breath, his hands coming to your face as he looks into your eyes with worry.

“What happened? Are you okay?” You open your mouth to respond when he cuts you off. His hand grabbing onto your tender one, the colors barely visible from where the bruises were forming. “Youre hurt.”

“You should’ve seen the other guy!” Yuqi jokes. 

Jeno’s eyes darkened. “Where the fuck is he.”

“Neno it’s fine he was just some drunk,” You smile tightly, hoping it’s enough to keep him from doing anything stupid. It’s not.

“It’s not fine. I could hear him through the phone and drunk or not he shouldn’t be talking to anyone like that.”

You couldn’t lie, the way Jeno was acting right now was kind of sexy but this was not what you wanted right now. The situation had been dealt with. You were pretty sure with a punch of that strength you’d at least broken his nose.

“Jeno,” You slide your fingers into his hand, the act more intimate than you realized. He seems caught off guard, closing his own fingers around yours lightly so as to not hurt you more. “I promise, I’m okay.” He sighs, his jaw clenched with everything he’s holding back right now. 

“Well,” Yuqi starts. “There’s an obvious connection going on right now.”

You both turn to face the brunette, her smile teasing with a flicker of amusement in her eye. You guessed this was probably the most fun she's had in a while. You expect him to pull away, closing your eyes to brace yourself from the embarrassment. The moment never happens, his hand refusing to let go of you even as he turns to face your friend.

Jeno huffs out a short chuckle, “Hi Yuqi.”

“Hey Jeno! It’s been quite the while.” She looks behind the two of you to a car that pulls onto the side of the road behind Jeno’s. “I wish we could chat longer but unfortunately I do have a flight to catch so..”

“You said you’re staying for a week?”

“Ah,” Yuqi gulps, caught in the lie. “Right well I should start packing early. It was nice seeing you two though, goodbye!”

She's gone the next second, sneaking around the two of you to get into the car. You smile amused by her antics. Jeno doesn’t let go, instead leading you with him towards the car. You follow behind, nothing but the sound of the engine from Yuqi’s mysterious ride fading into the night. He opens the door for you, letting you in and shutting it as he makes his way over to the drivers side.

The ride is full of silence, the traffic lights illuminating Jeno’s face to help you decipher his current mood. He’s unreadable to most, especially when he’s upset. But not to you. Never to you. You knew him like the back of your hand. 

You try and come up with something to say when your phone lights up. 

Yuqi: Oh he’s down baddddd. He called me to go check on you didnt even say hi just said go check on y/n then said he was on his way and hung up. 

I thought it might be best if you wanted to see him so I got a ride lol :P 

Text me when you get home tho!

Unless you’re too busy getting busy iykwim ;))))

You shoot out a quick reply, closing the app to open your recent calls. Jeno was at the top of the recents page. You must’ve called him accidentally when that man snuck up to you, no wonder he mentioned hearing the conversation.

That made things much more awkward for you. For one, you had been the one to cancel plans on him. Then after a few drinks you called him, ruining his game because you couldn’t simply get the stranger to fuck off. That must’ve been why he was silent. He was mad at you. The furrow in his brows gave away that much.

“I’m sorry,” you start, “for ruining your night.”

He keeps his eyes on the road, his eyes only barely meeting yours as he continues to drive. “Is that what you think?”

“Isn’t it? I didn’t even mean to call you. I was going to handle it myself.”

He takes a deep breath, “Stop, that's not it.”

“Then what is it? Are you mad you didn’t get to hit him first? Is this like a weird Alpha Male dominance thing?” He chuckles and for some reason that makes you more frustrated. “I’m serious, Jeno. Why are you mad?”

“I’m not mad,” he pauses,  “Well not in the way you think.”

You lour, “What kind of response is that? Is this some kind of puzzle to solve? Oh great mysterious Jeno, please allow me to discover the truths of why you're angry!”

“I’m not mad,” He stops at a red light, head turning to look at you directly, your own eyes meeting him with slight annoyance. “I-“ He starts again, turning back to the road. “I’m upset. I wish I was there with you and that you wouldn’t have to deal with those poor excuses for men. And it's not that I don’t think you can handle things on your own, it's just that I wish you wouldn’t have to. Call it my ego but I want to be there to prevent shit like that.”

You blush, remorseful for your tone seconds prior. You were jumping to conclusions quite a bit. No, a lot a bit. Jeno wasn’t the type to want to admit how he felt, so you knew it did take him more courage than the average person to open up.

If his pride was hurt doing so then you thought the best option would be to hurt your own back. “If it helps, I was upset at you earlier too.” You can see his brow raise slightly. “I texted you mostly cause Yuqi mentioned you used to hook up with her roommate. If it’s like an ego thing, I guess technically I’m the same.”

“Miyeon?”

You wince at the name. “Sure.”

You weren’t aware of when the two of you made it to your apartment, just that suddenly you were in the familiar dark garage, cars parked all around the grey space. He turned the key, his car turning off as the two of you stayed quiet.

“Miyeon was just a fling, I didn’t tell you because it was over as quickly as it began.”

You refuse to move a muscle. You couldn’t explain why the thought still bugged you but it did. “Okay.” You say, and you're reaching for your seat belt when his hand stops you.

“I’m serious, there’s nothing you need to worry about.”

You knew that was true. The two had probably gone about their life without acknowledging each other. Jeno probably even lost track of her within the list of girls he’d already been with. For some reason the thought bugs you.

You shake it off, “I know, Neno. It’s okay, it was just a lapse in judgment.”

He nods, refusing to look away from you. You're not sure when he removed his own seat belt but he did, because suddenly his hands moved to remove your own. Your heart was pounding, his breath featherlight against you, raising the hairs on your arms.

He pulls away slightly, looking into your eyes for any words you left unspoken, all of which he’d taken right from your mouth. Speaking of, you couldn’t help but look at his lips, the overwhelming urge to pull him closer taking over your entire being. He must get the memo, because with his next move he’s cupping your face and kissing you.

The kiss is not at all like the ones you’d had before. Where those before were pure adrenaline, his lips met yours with an apology. Slow and gentle. His tongue grazed your bottom lip like he couldn’t get enough of you. And when you were about to deepen the kiss, he pulled away.

“Goodnight, Princess.”

You felt like you’d been slapped in the face. Was he insane? You snapped out of whatever daze you’d been in, facing him. He was already turning the car back on.

Wow so he really is insane.

You scoff, about to get up and out of this car and block him on every app to ever exist when you stop yourself. You bring your legs up onto the seat, hooking your hand under his seat to slide it further away from the wheel. 

“What are you doing?”

You ignore him, and once there’s enough space between you move over, hopping onto his lap. His hands hold your waist on instinct. “It’s bad manners to leave a girl hanging after kissing her like that.”

He smiles mockingly, “Like what?”

You bring your hand up, mimicking the way he held onto you. “Like it hurt you to pull away.”

“Maybe it did,” He whispers, one more word and his lips would be touching yours. You aren’t sure who made the move, just that all of a sudden you were both on each other once again, this time with a sense of urgency.

His hand slid into your shirt, fingers trailing up your spine to push you closer to him. The action only fueled your hunger more, you kissed him harder. It was possessive, like you wanted to leave a mark on him, one that told him that for now he was yours. You rolled your hips once, the two of you sucking in a breath in sync at the feeling.

He pulled away, his chest heaving. “We shouldn’t be doing this here.” You knew him well enough now to know he was trying desperately to come up with an excuse. Why he was, you weren’t sure.

“Why not?” You ask, taking a moment to give him time to think. He didn’t answer. Feigning innocence you grinded your hips down once again. His jaw clenched, a tell sign that he was holding back, redness creeping up his face. “Nobody’s around.”

“I don’t have condoms in here.”

You shrug, condoms were the last of your worries right now. “I don’t mind it as long as you don’t.”

His gaze darkens, a smile creeping onto his face. “Is that what you want?”

More like what you needed. If he didn’t dick you down right at this moment you would probably just end up getting yourself off then going to bed frustrated. There really was no comparing your own smaller fingers to his thick ones, and even your pussy was starting to tell the difference.

You nod and that’s enough for him to curse a fuck it and bring his mouth to yours. This time it was all teeth and tongue. Nothing but pure fervency to consume every part of each other. You let out a gasp as he slips his fingers under your skirt, dragging them against the damp fabric.

“You’re so wet baby,” He pulls away, whispering against your sensitive neck. “Is this all for me?” You nod, wishing for nothing more but him to fill you up already. He clicks his tongue, “Come on Princess we’ve talked about this before, use your words.”

“Yes, since you sent that picture of you.” You ramble. You think it would probably be best if you were shot dead at the moment. What was that one animal that gets so embarrassed that it just dies on the spot called?

He chuckles, finding your confession flattering. “Then I shouldn’t tease you any longer.” He says before sliding your panties to the side and shoving two long fingers in you at once. The squeeze is tight, but in all of the right ways. You whine, grinding down on them to feel them hit deeper.

“Fuck,” He says, fixated on the way you squeeze around his digits. “Use my fingers to get yourself off.” You waste no time listening, riding them slowly as he watches. You’re biting onto your lip, holding back sounds as much as possible because technically you both were still in a public area, as silent as it was.

He kisses you, swallowing every single one of your sounds. Your brain feels like it’s working overtime, hyperaware of every action. You feel him slide another finger in, curling them against you barely grazing your g-spot. You bite down against his lip, offering a poor apology as he hisses, your orgasm approaching rapidly.

Jeno doesn’t reply, instead he uses his mouth to trail against your neck making sure to leave bruises around the sensitive skin. You’ve given up on holding back any sounds, your moans building up just as your climax is, and right as you’re about to finish Jeno bites down on your skin. You cry out loud, the pain and pleasure meshing into one, a tear sliding down your cheek.

He pulls his fingers out, a whine falling from your mouth from the loss. “Color?” He asks, his pupils dilated as you look at him.

“Green.”

“Good, I knew you could take it.” He slides the waistband of his sweatpants down, pumping his cock twice.

“You didn't wear anything under?”

He shakes his head, “Had to hold myself back from fucking you the second you started grinding against me.”

You laugh, “You should’ve just done it.”

“Stay quiet and I will.” 

“Okay,” You take the challenge, sliding your panties down your thighs and hovering over his dick. You don't give him any time, sinking down on him in one full go. You bite down on your lip to keep yourself from groaning. He’s breathing heavily holding back his own sounds. “That goes for you too.”

His arms come up to guide you, helping lift until it’s only the tip before sinking down again. Nothing but heavy gasps of air and low curses slipping from you both. There was nothing like a fun challenge, trying your hardest to hold back your moans while simultaneously trying to get the other to slip up.

As he continues to pound into you, you try your hardest to keep your eyes open, the slight sting of the mascara in your eyes from your earlier tears. You made a note to buy yourself a sex proof one soon. Jeno’s trying his hardest to stay composed, but you can tell how good he feels with the way his fingers dig into your skin.

“Fuck.” He gives in, lifting you fully on his own and setting a harsher pace. You can feel him hit directly against you. You gasp, using your hand to cover your mouth and try to keep silent. It’s no use, from the angle you feel him even deeper, moans coming out of you as the pressure in your stomach signals your release.

“Neno– mmh. fuck—“

You shout, louder than you meant to, your legs aching with how much they were being put to use. You swear you notice a twinge of mischief in his eyes. The next second he’s bringing the same hand that was just inside you to your mouth. “Open.”

You do, still managing to taste yourself as he swirls his fingers around your tongue. He pulls them away, a string of saliva breaking away as he uses his thumb to tilt your head down. He traces your bottom lip, slightly bringing you closer. Then when you think he’s going to kiss you senseless again, he spits into your mouth.

“I told you princess, keep it down.” He whispers, thrusting into you with no remorse. You can feel yourself about to come undone.

“Neno I’m gonna—“

“I know baby, me too.” You can hear it in his rough voice. “Cum with me.”

With one last thrust you’re orgasm hits you, fast and heavy. He curses, filling you up with his seed. You whine, it’s the first you’d ever let a man finish inside you and damn had you been missing out. Any attempt of speaking is cut short, you’re brain is too fucked out to process anything. Instead you fall forward, curling into his neck that’s damp with sweat that is a little gross but mostly comforting.

“You smell familiar.”

He laughs, his hand scratching your scalp, you hum. “It’s your shampoo.”

“I fucking knew it.” You pout, not daring to move from his hold. The two of you stay that way. Curled up against one another in complete silence. You’re fighting your sleep, you had been the second he started scratching you. His low breathing isn’t helping either.

“We can’t stay like this forever,” His whispers, yet makes no choice to move. And even though you knew what he meant, your mind couldn’t help but picture different scenarios.

Was that what he would tell his other hookups? 

Did he warn them before they became too attached?

You shove the idea down, refusing to think it over. He was oblivious to your sudden concerns with your face hidden away from him. You suck in a breath, the light lavender scent of your shampoo hitting your nose with an underlying musk from Jeno himself. You should say something. It wasn’t abnormal to be curious about his past arrangements. You open your mouth, closing it just as quickly. 

“I know.” You say instead and you swear you can hear his heart pound a bit faster when you do, but just as you shoved down your own thoughts earlier, you do the same now.

 ☆ 🎸☆

For a long time there was nothing Jeno loved more than performing on stage.

He was destined to make music. He knew it from a young age. Cemented by his aunt who had gifted him a drum set as a kid. His mom had only further encouraged him, he was the one to take on her love for music, even if it was through a different instrument or way of expressing.

During every stage his heart was pounding with adrenaline, never becoming exhausted and instead waiting for his next cue. It fueled him, every slam of his drumsticks, the vibration felt throughout his entire body, and of course as he grew older he only became more confident in his abilities. He felt it every time he was on stage, a smile growing on his face as each song came.

The growing fan base wasn’t something he ever prioritized. He didn’t make music to become famous and make money, hell he was the son of some of the most known and respected people in their fields. You would make jokes about his nepotism, and maybe if the guys had any clue who he was before he joined then that would’ve been the case, but none of it mattered anyway.

Now suddenly, he wanted to show them the best of him. That meant being himself at his core, and what better way was there to show that side of him than drumming?

Oblivion were finishing up their last song, the sound of the fans screaming crescendoed as Donghyuck’s low nasally voice rang out the final verse. Jeno’s heart was going one hundred miles a minute, pure ecstasy flowing through his body. Then within a half second, he blinked and suddenly his smile had nothing to do with the crowd and the energy they had been radiating all night that directly translated into his performance. No, this time he pictured you, in all of your glory. 

The song came to an end. The crowd made sure to be the loudest they were the whole night, one particular high pitched squeal pulling him from his own thoughts. He rolled his eyes at Jaemin who was winking at a fan that resulted in another scream. He dragged him off of the stage, following the rest of the group as they walked back to their shared waiting room.

“Great show out there,” Darling cheered, specifically running into Jisung’s arms to give him a quick peck. The action made Jeno slightly envious in a way he’d never felt before by the couple’s frequent pda. “I swear there were way more people in attendance than any other show!”

“Thanks Darling,” Jaemin smiles. “You might just be our good luck charm.”

Jisung visibly deflates at the usage of his nickname for his girlfriend, pulling at her waist to keep her close like Jaemin would snatch her at any second. Jaemin was only messing around, he’d confessed to Jeno a few months ago that he loved how Jisung’s face scrunched up when he was annoyed, so he made it a mission to piss him off as much as possible.

“Yeah Jisung is more focused than ever,” Donghyuck smirks, “unless we count the time he was busy getting his dick sucked before we had to go up on stage.”

“That’s not what happened!” The couple shout in unison, matching shades of red in their face. Jeno was sure the group would never let them live that down.

Mark laughs. “Well we should be staying here for one night only, remember not to end up so drunk that you sleep through hotel maintenance pounding on your door so hard they assume you died.” 

“It happened one time.” Donghyuck groans.

“And it won’t happen again, you and Jaemin are sharing a room tonight.”

“What? Hello, way to be a cockblock, Mark. I was planning on going out tonight.” The implication that he was bringing someone back to the hotel was clear.

“Not my problem,” Mark sighs out before turning to Jeno. “You’re staying a few days longer, right?”

“Yeah, I'm gonna spend the weekend with my parents.”

“Nice, have fun.”

“Then what about you, Mark? You just got a room to yourself?” Donghyuck pouts.

“Yep,” Mark answers honestly, "gives me time away from you guys.” 

Darling laughs, "Don't worry, the nahyuck fans will love it.”

“What the fuck is that?”

“Aww,” Jaemin coos, his arm wrapping around Donghyuck’s shoulder, “We have our own ship name!”

Donghyuck looks like the revelation is causing him physical distress. Jeno takes that as a cue to leave before the two start fighting because once they started it was hard to stop them.

“Youre not going out with us at least?” Jisung asks, his fingers intertwined with his girlfriend's, a soft smile on his face that Jeno never saw from him until the two of them reconnected. He was happy for his friend, he always did wish the best for them all, and for people like Jisung and even Jaemin, he knew as much as they contradicted it with their past or current actions. They wanted love most of all. So seeing Jisung as he was now, so open and honest with his feelings was relieving for the most part. Though on one hand it did open a can of worms he was actively avoiding paying any mind to.

He could tell the guys were growing a bit curious. He wasn’t spending much time at the apartment, opting to spend the night at yours instead. A privilege you weren’t aware of that none of his past hookups ever got. Once again, a can of worms he really didn’t want to open. 

“Nah not tonight.”

Jisung raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t ask anything. With that, Jeno’s saying a quick goodbye, making his way out of the door as Donghyuck and Jaemin start one of their petty arguments.

Jeno had to give his parents credit, as much as his parents were busy, they always made sure to provide their children with only the best of the best. That included hiring Miss Kim, their personal chef, to make the best meals for their children.

He sat at the kitchen table, plates of breakfast being served as his Mom read the morning newspaper, his father sitting next to her and feeding her some of the washed grapes that Miss Kim had brought earlier. Jeno felt a twinge in his chest at the sight, covering it up with a quick cough as if anyone around would notice it.

“Is Seulgi here yet?”

His mom sets the paper down, “She’s late, overslept after a late engagement party her friend, what's her name?”

“Joy.” His father answers, feeding her another grape.

“Right. I think She's set to be one of her bridesmaids.”

Jeno nods. Miss Kim is setting his plate down in front of him, he mouths a thank you receiving a quick smile and bow before Miss Kim heads back to the kitchen.

“Speaking of which,” Mrs Lee sits up, eyeing Jeno with a mischievous expression as he digs his spoon into the side bowl of rice. “You aren’t coming alone, right?”

Jeno smiles smug, “Are you implying I bring back Jaemin?”

Jeno had invited Jaemin to a family gathering of his about two years ago. His mother was not immune to his charms, taking a liking to his carefree and confident way of speaking. She was adamant on setting him up with Seulgi until she had came out. And even though both parents were very supportive, Jeno had a feeling that his mother hadn’t yet given up on her dream of having Jaemin as a son in law. Though her target had shifted to Jeno.

“No actually, though im not opposed to inviting him. I’ve already told your cousin all about him.” That explained the consistent texts from her. “I just think it would be nice if you brought someone back home with you. Show her around a bit. How about that friend of yours you mentioned? Y/N is it?”

He almost spat out his food, choking it down instead to which his father passed him his handkerchief. He grabbed onto it, coughing until they finally died down.

“I’m not too sure ive mentioned her before,” He finally answers.

“Oh if not you then, perhaps Seulgi?”

Jeno has to hold back from groaning. There was a time where he and his sister went out for drinks, she had introduced herself to you and the night ended with you and her exchanging numbers. Clearly he wasnt aware that you both had stayed in contact since then, he’d definitely be asking you about that soon. “Yes, perhaps.”

“She told us about her, mentioned shes a very sweet girl.” His mom’s smile widens. “I’d like to meet her.”

He hums, praying for any possible distraction to appear. The sounds of rushed footsteps approaching from none other than Seulgi herself. “Sorry I’m late!” She says, taking a seat next to Jeno. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing.” Jeno says at the same time his mother says, “Did you invite Jeno’s friend to your wedding?” 

Seulgi pauses for a moment, “Jaemin?”

“Y/N.”

“Ah,” Seulgi smiles a thank you at Miss Kim who brought her a serving, “I assumed he was going to bring her on his own.”

“Never just assume with a man,” Mrs Lee sighs. “Jeno, I hope you can consider it.”

It’s not that Jeno refused to consider inviting you. It’s just that, his mom could be kind of stubborn. If you were to come by and she grew to like you then she’d automatically assume that you and him were meant to be together. And Jeno had a feeling she would like you, there was nobody in the world who wouldn’t. 

The last thing Jeno wanted was to make you uncomfortable by introducing you to his family, meeting Seulgi was enough, and you end up running away scared. On the other hand, you were someone important to him, so what was the difference of introducing you to his family when he’s introduced Jaemin before.

“I’ll talk to her about it,” Jeno says finally. His mom, grinning happily, is about to reply when he continues. “But I'm not going to force her. If she doesn’t want to, then she doesn’t have to.”

“Well of course not,” Seulgi punches his shoulder lightly, “We’re not expecting you to kidnap her. Although considering the book drafts she’s shown me, I don’t think she’d mind it.” She jokes. Jeno’s eyes widen, and a part of him is scared that his parents might have heard, but when he turns to see them both in their own world he knows they didn’t.

Then again, there’s that familiar sting of envy. Only this time he can’t blame it on the overdone PDA from Jisung and Darling, now it’s from his own parents. His parents wore their hearts on their sleeve constantly, and never hid their love from anyone. He’d grown used to it years ago, so what changed now?

Something must be severely wrong with me.

☆ 📚 ☆

Things are the worst they could ever be. Okay that was dramatic but it was what you felt like in the moment. For starters you had a suspicious feeling you were growing sick, you sneezed way more than the average amount of times a person sneezes today. Then second of all, you were drawing blanks both literally and physically.

You had been sitting in front of your laptop for what felt like hours, and absolutely nothing would pop up. There was also another issue, one you didn’t want to speak aloud to anyone other than the incognito mode on your safari search. You felt pent up. Something that you didn’t even know could happen with two days of abstinence, but unfortunately it could. 

It was like you were going crazy, you’d lasted years without sex so why did two days suddenly feel like eternity. Your head missed Jeno a lot, but your body did so much more. Especially late at night, like right now that you were in the darkness of your room with only the bedside lamp to illuminate the space around you. You tried to get off, maybe that could help with your writer's block in some weird kinky way. It was no use.

Not even scrolling Twitter videos could save you. You tried to sleep it off, perhaps a break would help. But the longer you laid down in complete darkness the more insatiable you became.

And then there was the bright idea. Jeno was a night owl, perhaps he was awake right now? You blushed in the dark room, there was no way you were even considering sexting him while he was spending quality family time. No you couldn’t stoop so low.

You flopped onto your right side, squeezing your eyes shut to clear your mind. Only instead your mind began playing tricks on you, images of Jeno’s body flashing through your mind like they were stored in a hard drive from your brain. You visualized the curve of his muscles, the definition and ridges of his back muscles that you hooked your nails into when he drilled into you so—

Oh gosh. You were seriously thinking about Jeno like that right now. This couldn’t be right, right? Your body seemed to think differently, with the way you felt your panties begin to dampen from your arousal.

You took a deep breath, snatching your phone from the charging cable on your desk and opening your message tab with Jeno.

Princess: Are you awake?

His typing pops up faster than you’d expected. You were hoping that he wouldn’t reply, then you could call it a night and pretend this never happened.

Neno: Yeah. Can’t sleep?

Princess: Not really…

You’re about to chicken out, your finger hovers over the do not disturb button when your familiar ringtone, one of Oblivion's earliest songs, blasts out of your phone. You jump, sliding the answer button.

“Hello?” Your voice comes out way more weak than you intended, and mentally you’re beating yourself up about it.

“Hey,” His voice hits you like a truck. The deep timbre sliding down your spine in a way that makes your body react on its own, goosebumps raising on your skin. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing I–“ Just miss you. It’s funny how now the tables have turned. “Can’t sleep.”

He hums, and you can hear him shifting on the other side, perhaps trying to get comfortable. “Do you want to talk?”

You wanted more than talking but maybe that was being too greedy. “Yeah, tell me about how the show went.”

He pauses for a second, “Went great, fans seemed to enjoy it a lot. Spent the rest of the day with my family.”

“Oh,” You forgot that he mentioned a breakfast date with his family. Your family was far too busy for those kinds of gatherings so it was a bit surprising but sweet. “How was that?”

“Not bad, it was nice seeing them with how long it’s been.”

“Can you tell me more?”

He chuckles, “Like what?”

“Anything. What about that game you play, how's that going?”

There’s another pause, and for a moment you feel like you’ve been caught. “Princess.”

The nickname goes straight to your core, your thighs pushing together on instinct. “Yeah?” You reply, voice weaker than you meant it to come out.

“Why are you awake right now?”

“I- I told you. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Right,” He pauses again, and you missed the way his voice deepened. “How can I help you with that baby?”

You suck in a breath, a curse slipping from your lips. You swear you can hear him smile through the phone. “Come on, tell me what you need.” 

“I need you.”

You can hear him move around again, your chest tightening with how honest you were. You meant it in more ways than one, but there was no time to dwell on it now.

“Why don’t you let me hear how true that is?” 

“Like right now?” You squeak out, suddenly embarrassed.

He chuckles, “Or is that not why you called me?”

“I don’t know what you mean—“ “Princess. Never in a million years have you asked me about my games.”

“What if I wanted to change that?”

“You’re stalling.” He states, “If you’re shy you don’t have to be, your voice alone made me crazy the second you picked up.”

His honesty scares you a bit, but it also gives you room to relax. “Do I have that effect on you?”

“More than one.” You take a shallow breath, and he definitely notices it. “Are you gonna be a good girl and spread your legs for me?”

There’d be no way for him to know if you were really following his instructions, but with how needy you were you made sure to do it anyway. Sliding your fingers past your bellybutton and tracing the light fabric.

“Tell me, just how wet are you for me?”

“Fuck–“ You clench around nothing. “Since earlier. I couldn’t sleep without thinking of you.”

“Is that why you texted? Were you just waiting for me to call you to use my voice and get yourself off?”

“N-no I didn’t know you’d call.”

He hums mockingly, “Really? Then what were you going to do? Give up and wait for me to get back home to fuck you? His words were harsh. For some reason it was working for you, a wave of want rushing through your veins. “Or maybe, you were going to go out and find someone else to do the job?

“No Neno I wouldn’t,” You plead, “I only want you.”

“Fuck,” He whispers Beasley audible through how fast your heart was beating. “Then use my voice, and I’ll make sure to fuck you good tomorrow as an apology.”

You take that as a promise, your hand slipping down into your panties, fingers gliding across the folds of your wet cunt. You gasp, “Fuck Neno I’m so wet.”

“Yeah baby?” He grunts, and the familiar sound only drives you crazier. “Go ahead, slide a finger in.” 

You do as he commands, your pussy squeezing around the digit. Only there’s no relief, you were used to Jeno’s long thick fingers, yours were nothing in comparison. “It's not enough.” You cry, desperately wishing he was there.

“Shh,” he coos you. “It’s okay baby, come on just imagine it’s me.”

You slid another finger in, it wasn't long enough, but it would have to do for now. You rocked your hips, slowly fucking yourself with your fingers, your panties pushed to the side as the wet squelches filled the room.

“Fuck I can picture how tight you are,” he groans through the phone and youre barely registering now just how quiet he’s trying to make his own voice. “Youre taking my fingers so well huh?”

“Fuck Neno please.” You whine, scissoring yourself to fit another finger in.

For a moment all that can be heard is the heavy breathing through the phone. The two of you are trying to keep as quiet as possible. You register it then, the wet slide of him on the other side. You’re not sure how you missed it. He was jacking himself off as you got off to his voice.

“Neno.” You call out his name.

“Yes, princess?” He stutters through the line. 

“I’m ready for you now.” 

He laughs at being caught. “Yeah? You gonna be able to take it?”

You nod like he could see you, “just please fuck me already.”

“Alright then,” he plays along. “Spread your legs for me more baby.” 

Your eyes are shut, visualizing him over you, his hand gripping your leg harsh to keep them from shutting. You slide a third finger into your cunt, it wasn't close to his girth but it would have to do at the moment. You clenched around them, imagining your fingers were his cock instead, filling you up so good. “Neno–ngh fuck youre so big.”

“You can fit me baby, you know why?” His voice is low. “cause that pretty pussy of yours was made for me.” 

You moan, setting a strict pace to match his own through the phone. The light sounds of his breathing getting heavier with every thrust of his hand. You could imagine him now, he’d probably be biting his lips to hold back his noises, trying to keep quiet from his family who were only a few rooms over. Your stomach tightens, your release approaching quicker than it would when it was just you to get yourself off.

“I’m close.”

“Me too,” He replies. “You gonna let me cum inside you again? Fill up your needy cunt?”

“Fuck yes Neno—” You scream out, your orgasm washing over you in the next second. Your fingers are cramping up, continuously thrusting inside you to help milk out your orgasm. 

He grunts a bit louder, calling out your name from what you can assume is from him reaching his own climax. You keep your phone close to you, your breaths evening out. Your legs felt like jelly, the energy you’d had before dissipating. The tiredness from the time being four in the morning finally hitting you.

“Baby?” Jeno called out. You hummed low, using what was left of your energy to do so. He chuckles through the line, having realized that you were seconds away from knocking out. “I’ll see you tomorrow, princess.”

You don’t even remember if you answered or not, only that the call ended. Your breaths fall into an even rhythm as you drift off to sleep.

Part three:

Do I wanna know?

☆ 🎸☆

Call Jeno what he was. A simp, a manwhore, a little bitch. That one was specifically from an angry Donghyuck whom he had declined going out with for the fifth time in a row to see you today. He’d gotten back from his parents house, and assuming how early he woke up to drive back into town he wasn’t surprised you were still sleeping. You had a habit of a minimum of twelve hours a night and he’d taken up most of those last night at four in the morning.

He blushed slightly at the memory. You hadn’t answered, which would’ve worried anyone in his situation if he didn’t know you well enough to know that you were probably busy writing like your life depended on it after gaining a surge of inspiration.

He gripped onto the plastic bag in hand. He stopped by the convenience store for some of your favorite ramen. Nothing else, truthfully, the pack of condoms had somehow made their own way into his bag. “Y/N!” He opened your front door, being sure to lock it behind him.

The apartment was unusually silent, safe for the meows coming from Meowy who greeted Jeno by rubbing against his feet. He cooed at the cat before making his way over to your kitchen to set the bag on the counter. “I brought you some noodles! Oh and they had a discount on the condoms so I thought why not!”

You didn’t answer. He frowned, looking out at the front door he’d just come from to spot your shoes in their place. You were home, so were you just sleeping in?

He walked over to your bedroom, knocking a few times. A low groan sounding through the door followed by a “Come in.”

He opened the door, the darkness of the room enveloping you as you laid in bed, Your body curled in itself like you’d exhausted all energy for the rest of the year. He frowned, approaching you with soft footsteps. Your eyes met his with a squint.

“Princess?” He called your name, to which he immediately regretted the second your lips started wobbling.

“Neno I’m sorry,” your eyes began to water.

He panics, sitting on the corner of the bed to get closer to you. “Hey, what's wrong?” He feels a slight panic from seeing you like this, it’s not the first time he’d seen you cry but it wasn’t a sight he’d see often.

“I didn’t want to text anyone and I know I said I wanted you bit then I woke up and it was like a crime scene everywhere and I spent the whole morning washing the sheets but then my washer broke so I hand cleaned it all and these cramps are seriously going to kill me—“

“Hey it’s okay,” Jeno cuts you off, his thumb wiping the tear threatening to fall from your eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” You reply bashfully, “Ugh I’m so annoying I always get so sad on my period. It’s gross.”

“It’s not gross.” He replies in an instant.

“Youre right it’s just human nature or whatever,” you sigh, wiping at your own eyes and sitting up. He reaches forward, his warm hand wrapping around your waist to stop you. “Hey it’s okay, I can go. Just get some rest.”

You pouted, “But I don’t want you to go.”

He smiled, “Okay, I won’t.”

Jeno wasn't sure how much time had passed like this. Just that as soon as you could you had cuddled into him. Something about his natural body warmth being the perfect temperature to help your cramps, so he held onto you, your breaths eventually evening out into sleep.

He didn’t even bother to grab his phone, instead just staring at you like some creep. He was grateful no one else was there to call him out on it though. After a few minutes, you shifted. Your head peaked up from where it laid flat on his chest.

“Sorry did I trap you?” You mumbled the question, sleep still evident in your voice.

“No, it was pretty comfortable actually. You're like a sloth kind of.”

You rolled your eyes, laying your head down again. “You look like one.”

“Rude, and after I canceled plans with Donghyuck to come see you.” Jeno was only joking, he would’ve declined plans with Donghyuck even if he didn’t come to see you.

“Sorry again,” you whisper. “I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

He scoffs playfully, “Hey I’m your friend before anything else.” He’s not sure why it felt so icky to say it but he continues, “I don’t need sex just to want to see you.”

You blush at his words, hiding your face deeper into his chest. “Yeah well, you're the first guy I’ve ever met like that.”

Jeno wasn't sure of most of your dating history, he wasn't the type to just ask but now he couldn’t help but be a bit curious. “Have you dated men like that?”

“Not dated, I’m not one for a relationship.” He knew that. The two of you had related plenty, but now he was itching to know more about you.

“Is there a reason?”

“No, not particularly at least.” You stir, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you lay on your back, looking up at the ceiling filled with the tiniest glow in the dark stars that had been there for years. “I mean for some time I did want that, but then I lost my virginity and I guess I realized that love isn’t something that happens in real life.”

There’s not a single ounce of pain in your voice. “I held it off for the longest time, save for love kind of thing. Then in college I ended up sleeping with a crush and really it didn't live up to any expectations. The guy hardly even acknowledged me at all except for my body.”

Jeno scowled, the stupidity of men would be their demise. He could understand why women wanted nothing to do with them, there were plenty of fish in the sea sure, but just how many were the parasitic kind that drained the life out of women.

“It was alright I guess, led me to now. And congrats, you're the only man to actually care enough to make sure I finish.” You joke, though there’s an underlying embarrassment in your voice. One that he catches quickly.

“Do you regret it?” He asks. No malice in his words, just pure curiosity.

You shrug, “I guess I regret that it wasn’t like the books I write. There was no attentiveness, just impulsivity. If I could’ve then I would’ve wanted my first time to be with someone I could fully trust, someone who would treat me carefully knowing it was my first.”

He nods, though you don’t notice it at all. There’s too many things running through his head. You deserved better, even now you deserved the best. He wanted for you to fall in love just like the stories you wrote. The uneasy heartbeats, the anxiousness of not knowing if your feelings were reciprocated, then eventually the love confession that brought on a happy ending.

You deserved it more than anyone in the world.

“But it’s already passed so it’s nothing to dwell on,” You say, sitting up. “Now how about the ramen you brought?”

Jeno knows better than to argue, offering a smile instead.

“Coming right up.”

☆ 📚 ☆

The rest of your week had gone about as well as it could while you were on your period. You of course had to show up to work, despite the cramps and lower back aches, keeping a smile on throughout your shift while experiencing some of the worst discomfort ever.

The only way you survived was because of the pain killers Yuqi had given you and the take out from the restaurant down the street. Jeno hadn’t stopped by as often as you hoped. He told you that Mark was becoming more strict with practice as the group went viral for the third time in the month. You had seen a couple of videos, more recently one that was a q&a with Jeno. You had already known every answer of his, so anyone who considered themselves Jeno fans could suck it.

Speaking of which, he had also told you to hurry home tonight, which you figured was because he finally had time to visit. Your spirits were lifted now, you only hoped it wasn't so obvious as you left work to head straight home.

You squeaked open the door, expecting Meowy to meet you the way she always did with everyone who’d set foot into the apartment. Instead, you were met with a floor full of rose petals, candles (not real ones of course that was a fire hazard), lining up the hallway into your kitchen that was fully decorated with more roses and dinner plates. Your heart skipped a beat, the thought of an intruder stopping by and setting up all of this as a passing thought until you met eyes with Jeno.

He stood wearing a black buttoned up top tucked into the jeans he had on. It was casual enough that you didn’t feel underdressed, having come home straight from work in jeans and a basic tank top you’d put under your work uniform.

“Hey.” He beamed, the same puppy-like way that you were used to but somehow now made your heart feel like it could burst any second.

You freeze for a moment. “What is all of this?”

“Dinner. Oh don’t worry, this is a recipe my family cook taught me how to make so it should be edible.” He jokes, grabbing onto your hand to lead you to your seat. You sit down, overwhelmed by the burst of emotions flowing through your chest, he sits ahead of you.

“Japchae?” He nods. “I would’ve cooked up something like steak but I thought maybe this was a safe bet.”

You pause for a moment, only this time he must notice the shift in your demeanor. “Are you okay?” He asks, a slight tone of fear in his voice, he must’ve thought you were upset.

“I’m just I don’t understand,” You say finally. “Why all of this for me?”

He doesn’t take a single second to think about it, “Because you deserve it.”

“But I'm not- I've never even had a date treat me like this,” You stammer.

He chuckles a response. “Y/N, because I wanted to. How’s that for a reason?”

You still don’t understand it fully. This was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for you, the previous being your mother who gifted you a custom typewriter for your sixth birthday, only this made zero sense. It wasn’t even your birthday.

There must be a hint of hesitance he picks up on, because in a second his hand is over yours in a comforting gesture. “If it helps, think of this as part of our rules. I’m trying to give you inspiration.”

Right, of course. That made perfect sense, why else would Jeno have gone all of his way to set up such a nice dinner like this. You offer a small smile, nodding as you reach for your chopsticks. “Okay, then let’s not let this go to waste.”

Jeno smiles, relieved.

Dinner went well as soon as the alcohol was brought out. One glass was enough to make your nerves disappear , the conversation between you stirring from small gossip he’d learned from Jaemin’s loud mouth to early memories the two of you remember from the first years of your friendships.

The japchae was more than just great you came to find out. Jeno could seriously have become a world class chef if he didn’t stick to his career now, speaking of which had only become way more demanding than ever. But he was happy, and you were even happier than he was. The man was a once in the lifetime talent, he deserved all of the love and recognition in the world.

“Neno,” you said suddenly. “It’s getting pretty late.”

He hums, “Yeah I’ll clean up and I can g—“

“No!” You scream shutting him up. “Stay. Please.”

He laughs, “Okay princess.”

“I’ll be back, just–” You’re suddenly shy, avoiding any eye contact with him. “I’m going to go clean up a bit, maybe after we can cuddle or something.” You hope he doesn’t make you explain more and just gets the memo. Luckily, he grins knowingly. “I’ll be back!” You shout as you run towards the bathroom.

You were never the shy type, but as you step outside of the shower, you feel an overwhelming amount of anxiousness. You slipped into a loose fitting shirt. One Jeno had left behind. He was lying down in your bed, scrolling on his phone until you entered. Jeno’s eyes turn to you, discarding whatever he’d been watching on his phone and sitting up straight on the edge of your bed.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he states with an expression that you could only describe as want, though it didn’t feel fitting enough.

“I hope that’s okay,” you answer, approaching him until you’re right where he sits. His hand comes up, brushing your cheek. You shiver despite his hand being warm and inviting.

“You’re breathtaking.”

You blush at the compliment, pulling his hand away from your face to move it to your hips, climbing on top of him swiftly. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me—“

“Not for that, for everything else.”

“I meant it when I said you deserve it.”

You lean in, his breath catching as your lips connect to his. There’s a subtle desperation in the way he kisses back, where most of your kisses were fervent, this one was full of something more. No fight for dominance but rather a way of expressing your gratitude.

Jeno tugs at his shirt, lifting it off of your body. “Can I?” He asks, earning a nod from you before he’s flipping you onto the mattress. You’re laid completely bare, at least figuratively with the way he’s looking at you, like he’s undressing you with his eyes alone.

You have barely a second to catch your breath, Jeno’s lips trailing over your breasts as he unclasps your bra. You shudder, your chest laid naked as the cool air hits you.

“Fuck– Neno.” You moan as he takes your left breast into his mouth, his tongue flat over the sensitive nub. His hand comes up, palming your right breast, his thumb circling against your nipple.

You’re only growing needier with every second, every lick sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body. He pulls away, and you take the opportunity to pull him in for another kiss, this one heavier than the last. You button his shirt while he’s distracted, pulling it down and discarding it to the floor.

Jeno’s breathless as he pulls away, his eyes full of want. “Can I taste you?”

You nod, and he’s kissing you again. His hand moving to slide your panties off. He reacts in an instant, leaving kisses down your stomach until he’s face to face with your needy cunt.

His breath fanning over your folds, driving you insane with every second he spends refusing to take action. “Please,” you whine. He snaps out of whatever haze he’d been in, his tongue tracing against your folds that leaves you panting.

Your legs fight to close, his hand keeping them stretched open enough for him to continue lapping at your juices in peace. You call his name, moans growing louder as he presses closer against you, his nose pressing against your clit.

Your hands are moving before you can stop them, reaching out to tug on his hair. He moans into your pussy, the sound traveling through you evoking you to moan.

You cry out, twitching around his tongue as he begins to fuck you with the muscle. Your juices mixed with his spit sliding down his chin in a beautiful mess.

His name trails off of your lips like a melody. The sound meshing with the loud squelches of him devouring you. He pulls away, substituting his tongue for his digits.

“Oh my– nghh Neno—“ You can feel tears threatening to spill. The pace of his fingers fucking you rough as he sucks your clit. He continues to fuck his fingers into you, curling them to hit your pleasure point directly. Your legs squeezing around his head as you cum with one last cry of his name.

He laps up your fluids, his nose pressing against your sensitive clit with how messy he is. “Jeno baby, please,” you beg, the overstimulation getting to you. He doesn’t seem to notice, continuing to lick against your folds until you're dragging him to look at you.

His hair is a mess with how much your hands tugged at the strands. He meets your gaze, his lips and chin wet with you, pupils completely dilated. “I’m sorry baby.”

You shake your head, tugging at him to come back up. When he does you’re kissing him, sucking on his tongue to taste more of yourself. He groans into your mouth, pulling away to let out a gasp. “Fuck.”

Your brows furrow, meeting his eyes where he looks down at himself, a small wet patch visible through his pants. He just came untouched from eating you out. A burst of pride shoots through you, drawing you to kiss at him again.

“You’re so fucking hot, can I please take these off of you?” You ask, batting your lashes.

“When you ask like that, who am I to say no?”

You smile, unbuckling his pants and rushing to rip them off of him like the fabric was life threatening. Your hand palms against him, his size growing with the slightest touch of yours.

He’s holding back a groan when you start sucking at his neck, leaving hickeys on display for everyone to see. For everyone to know that he’s yours.

He helps you take off his boxers, another piece of fabric meeting your floor. He's fully erect, the thick muscle hitting against his abdomen with a slap. Your mouth waters at the sight, taking in his size with your eyes and zeroing in on the thick vein that runs along the shaft.

You suck in a breath, envisioning how nice it would be to feel him inside your mouth, his hand forcing your head down until your gagging as he fucks your face. That would have to do another time, for now, you wanted nothing more but to feel him in your guts.

“You like what you see?”

“Corny.” You answer, earning a chuckle from him before he’s pecking your lips again.

“You love me.”

He says it so casually, yet it still makes you feel weak in the knees. “And other things.”

Jeno lines up to your entrance, knocking your breath out of you as he sinks into you. The squeeze is tight, but it’s not unbearable. He’s giving you a few seconds to adjust until you nod at him to continue.

The first thrust is enough to pull a loud moan from your lips, your hands coming around his back to steady yourself. It’s obscene, his hips slapping against your thighs as he drills into you over and over again.

You can already feel pressure start to build up again, your nails digging into his skin drawing a curse from his lips.

“It feels that good, baby?”

“Neno– please please don’t stop—“

“I won't princess.” He says before fucking into you faster, this time his lips swallowing your moans as he kisses you like his life depends on it. Your body feels light, consumed by the feeling of him. You’re crying, you can taste the saltiness of your tears as he kisses you through it.

He must tell you’re close because his hand goes down to rub against your clit, the circular motion sending you close to the edge.

“Come on princess, let go for me baby.”

With those final words you’re clamping down around him, your orgasm flooding down your thighs only producing a wetter sound as he continues to pistol into you. His thrusts grow sloppier until he’s finally reached his own climax. His cum spurting into you, filling you up.

Your words are barely coherent, voice wrecked with all of the screaming you did. You’d have to bake a few apology cookies and offer them to your unlucky neighbors. Jeno kisses around your face, cooing you until your tears stop, his final kiss being one to your lips.

You open your eyes, his own meeting you with what you could only assume was fear, but quickly disappearing just as it happened shifting to one of… you couldn’t tell.

The previous you who had felt bare had nothing on you now. Because even as Jeno pulled out, his cum dripping down into the sheets, you couldn’t help the feeling in your stomach.

Something had changed.

Part Four:

Heart-shaped box

☆ 🎸☆

Jeno was in a funk. Ever since the date he set up he felt insane. Something was different, he knew it deep down. It wasn’t an obvious fact, you had continued to text him like normal, even sending him dress options for the wedding he had sprung onto you so late.

You didn’t mind, casually sending him your finds from shopping trips you went on with Shuhua. He took in a sharp breath every time you sent him a picture, his lungs felt like they would collapse at any moment with how great you looked. Though it was mostly you, even showing up to the wedding with your hand around his arm would provoke that reaction from him.

He imagined it now, you being so close to him as he introduces you to his family. A smile on your face and a light blush because as much as you were a confident speaker you would probably still feel nervous to meet his parents at such an important event.

Jeno got that same weird feeling in his stomach, covering his face so the rest of the guys wouldn’t see.

“Yo are you good” Mark asks, “Your face is all red, you're not sick or anything right?”

“He could be because you can’t help but keep the fucking air conditioner on all through out the night!” Donghyuck argues. Mark rolls his eyes.

“Jeno isn’t sick,” Jaemin moves the back of his hand to check Jeno’s temperature. “Yup not sick.”

“I’m fine guys, really.”

“I don’t think so, you’ve been spacing out a bit lately.” Donghyuck sing songs, “kind of like when Jisung was heartbroken and slumping around like a kicked puppy.”

“I don’t think I was that bad,” jisung replies, earning a “you were” from everyone else.

“Seriously I’m just thinking a lot lately.”

“Wait like really?” That seems to get the group's attention, they get closer, gathering around him like a kettle of vultures.

“You say that like I’m an idiot.”

“An idiot no—“ “debatable.” Donghyuck starts, earning a scowl from Jeno to which he hides behind Mark. “You aren’t one to think about things too much, you're level headed like that.” Jaemin finishes his thought.

“Yeah hyung, so no offense but it’s a once in a lifetime experience to see you act so–“ Jisung contemplates, “so lost.”

Jeno wasn't sure when any of them had caught onto any of that but apparently they did. He really wasn't the type to open up, but there was a time for anything. “Okay yeah, I guess it’s just a lot of changes lately.”

“Go on.”

And so he did. Jeno went on to explain every detail of yours and his arrangement, well the ones that mattered, up until now. The date, the sex, the way he couldn’t help but feel like he was stuck in a Train going down a different path than he ever expected yet he wasn't even mad about it.

“Oh my gosh,” Jaemin squeals. “I knew you were both meant to be!”

“Great going Jeno, I owe him five dollars now I hope you're happy."

“What?” Jeno asks.

“Jaemin did always say he had a gut feeling that you and Y/N would end up together,” Mark agreed. “That bet lasted shorter than expected though.”

“I think you’re confused,” Jeno starts. “It’s not like that. Me and Y/N are just friends with benefits.”

“Right and the benefits include date nights, home cooked meals, and life altering sex after?” Donghyuck taunts. Jisung makes a look of disgust at the last part.

“As much as I don’t think the last part was necessary,” Donghyuck shrugs. “I do agree. That's not at all what friends with benefits do.”

Jeno isn’t sure what to say. Was he at fault for this sudden shift? It felt like he was, but then again you didn’t seem to act like anything was wrong either. Maybe the guys were being dramatic. Jaemin looks at him like he knows what Jeno is trying to do.

“Answer this one thing,” Jaemin starts. “Do you feel your heart beat a little faster around her?”

Jeno nods.

“And when you think about her. What about then?”

Jeno felt the blood creep up his neck. How the hell would Jaemin be able to tell that.

“Think about it Jeno, it shouldn’t be that hard.”

Jeno frowns. Could he be… no. There’s no way. But then he thinks back to you, your contagious laughs and smiles.

Oh.

“What does this mean now?”

“Well you’ve already got the grand gestures down, loverboy.”

“This time, just add the confession.” Jisung adds.

☆ 📚 ☆

Time had gone by quicker than you’d thought. The continuous dress shopping leading up to this exact moment. You had packed up well, joining Jeno in road-tripping to Jeju island. It consisted mainly of sleeping, singing along to music completely off key, and feeding Jeno snacks while he drove.

You hadn’t felt the subtle shift in the area around each other, not when every time you looked away he made sure to keep his eyes on you until he couldn’t.

The wedding was in the afternoon. A ceremony that would end with a sunset. This made for really good inspiration for the third part in your book series, so you made sure to make a mental note of it.

You changed into your dress, hidden in one of the hotel’s rooms as Jeno got ready with the rest of his immediate family. You felt nervous, the outfit fitting way more exposed than you were used to.

“Y/N! Can I come in?”

“Uh, yes!” Seulgi walks in, a bright smile on her face as she does. “I didn’t think you’d have time to stop by and do anything.”

“Yeah well, I promised Jeno I would check in on you,” She gives you a look over, “You look beautiful.”

You blush, “No of course not, you look great.”

“I do, don’t I.” She does a bit of a twirl, the sleek yet elegant white gown hardly moving except for the flared fabric at the bottom.

You’d never imagined a life of marriage for you, but seeing Seulgi look so bright and happy made you second guess. Perhaps there could be someone to change that? Perhaps even–

“Jeno’s waiting outside. I’m going to go set myself up for pictures before the ceremony begins.” She gives you one last nod. “I’m glad you came.”

You offer a smile in return, “Thank you for inviting me.”

You had unfortunately not been able to catch Jeno before the ceremony began, sitting on the outskirts as the family sat front row to Seulgi, as did her wife’s family in the opposite direction. Jeno had made sure that even with the distance, at any opportunity he would look at you.

Goosebumps rising on your body with the way he looked into your eyes so sure. And with every vow spoken, it almost felt like he meant it to you. You had to take a breath the second it ended, being pulled by one of Jeno’s cousins who had claimed you as her new best friend. She dragged you towards the drinks, offering you a glass of champagne that you held onto.

Beyond the live orchestra that you were sure you would only live to see once in your lifetime, there was nothing but cheers for the happy couple. You were a bit too invested to have noticed Jeno sneak behind you, his hand tapping on your shoulder.

“I didn’t get the chance to tell you how beautiful you look.” He says, staring at you with a quiet longing you didn't pick up on.

“You can tell me now,” You tease.

He chuckles, his hand hesitating for a moment before it finds its way around your waist, pulling you closer as his lips graze your ear. “Youre the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” You don’t even get the chance to reply, the words falling flat on your tongue.

“What an honor it is to meet you.”

You look up to see the same woman who had stood up on stage before, Mrs. Lee. The musical genius in the flesh. Jeno, quickly moving to give the two of you space to talk, though remaining close enough.

You bow quickly, a perfect ninety degrees. “No, it's an honor to meet you. Your work is truly inspiring, I tell Jeno everyday just how lucky he is to have a mother so efficient and hardworking.”

She brightens, “Do you study music as well?”

“No ma’am, unfortunately I’m tone deaf but I appreciate it all the much more.” You reply shyly. “I’m a writer.”

“Ah,” Her smile widens, “That’s beautiful. I am quite fond of authors myself, please do tell me what you happen to write?”

“I’m only now starting, but if all things go to plan I should have my first novel released soon.” You nod, looking at Jeno who hadn’t once let go of his hold on your waist. As if sensing it, his mother turns attention to the area, smirking playfully.

“Well I do wish to own a copy once it does release, and Jeno.” She beckons her son. “Do bring her again more often, I think the two of you make the perfect pair.”

She apologies, stepping back into the celebration. You feel like a weight was lifted off of your chest, somehow wanting nothing more than the woman’s approval.

“Oh my god, I shouldn’t have mentioned that. How do I even talk about my book with her when you inspired half of it.”

Jeno laughs, “I don’t think she minds. She knows more than she lets on, she just likes for people to introduce themselves anyway.”

Your eyes widen, "You're saying she probably has a hundred page long history on my entire existence?”

“A hundred pages sure sounds humble,” he jokes.

“Neno!”

“I know, I'm only joking.” His hand comes up to smooth over your cheek. You can’t help but lean into his hold, breathing in the subtle hint of wood from the cologne he must’ve put on as he got ready. “Can I show you somewhere?”

“That sounds like something a murderer would say,” He sighs and despite your heart thundering you continue. “But yes.”

The first thing you notice is how silent it is besides the waves crashing into the sand. The entire property had been closed off, a subtle flex Jeno hadn’t intended when he told you about the place on the drive over. It was dark despite the fairy lights hanging off the building, the only real lighting coming from the full moon that was cast up above you.

You think of all of the possibilities that could come about in your book. Every piece of inspiration coming from the past few months up until this moment. Only you knew it couldn’t continue this way, not with how risky it became. Not when you realized just by looking at Jeno in his suit, laughing with the rest of his family just how easy it would be to get used to this. To crave more.

“Do you like this place?”

“I love it.” You speak carefully, suddenly overwhelmed with how comfortable the silence was between you two. You're not sure when your chest became so heavy, or when breathing felt like a pierced blade to your chest.

“Princess.” Jeno calls you, and you wish you could answer him but you just can’t. He must’ve repeated himself again, because the next second he’s at your side forcing you to look into his eyes.

And even with the rough lighting and the blurry vision, he still took away every last bit of your sanity. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

You can tell he’s stressed, and you aren’t even sure when you started to cry but here you were with your makeup probably ruined, struggling to catch a breath. When did it become so hard to look at him without feeling like the world was crumbling beneath you? When did his pure existence have such profound meaning to you? No, that you could answer, because even a panic attack couldn’t take away from the fact that you loved Lee Jeno.

“I–“ You try to speak, only embarrassing yourself as you choke up on the words, warm tears spilling down your face.

“Hey, look at me. It’s okay, we’re okay.”

No, everything was not okay. You had fucked up the only rule that really mattered. You had done yourself the worst by falling in love with him.

“Y/N.” He’s clearly worried, though he masks it well enough. You look up at him, “I’m sorry, I made the rules myself and I couldn’t even follow them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think I– no. I know it now. I’m in love with you.” You close your eyes refusing to look at him. “I didn’t mean to, and I know this is so sudden and you don’t feel the same at all but I just—“

You never get the chance to finish your sentence. His lips come crashing into yours, the same passion from the kiss you’d shared only nights before. He’s pouring every ounce of a love confession to you, hoping it will be enough to clear your mind of any doubts you had that he wasn’t yearning for your love.

He’s the oxygen you need to breathe. That’s your first thought when he pulls away. “I was supposed to be the one to tell you first.” He whispers.

“Then maybe you should’ve said it sooner,” You taunt, his thumb tracing over your tear stained cheeks.

He frowns, “I promise I was going to. It just took me a bit longer to realize.”

You gasp, feigning offense. “Wow, here I am pouring my heart out to you and instead you let me embarrass myself!”

“It’s not embarrassing to see you cry, you’re pretty even when you do.”

You hope it’s dark enough for him not to notice how flustered you are. “Don’t use flattery to get out of this!”

“Oh?” He pokes at your cheek. “But you seem to enjoy it a lot.”

He closes the distance, pecking the corner of your lips that results in a bashful smile from you. “Don’t worry, you have the rest of our lives to get used to my compliments.”

“Is that your way of saying you’re madly in love with me?”

“I think the kiss established that earlier. But yes Y/N, and I’d love for you to be my girlfriend too.”

“Ah,” you contemplate. “What are the benefits?”

“Everything we’ve done the past few months and more, you just got to experience the free trial.”

You shove at him playfully. “Then I gladly accept.” You say, and before he can give a snarky response you’re pulling him closer. Closing the distance between the two of you to share a kiss, this time as lovers.

Epilogue

Scary Love

It was Déjà vu. You sat anxiously in the same office you’d been in before. Only this time, you were confident that Shuhua wouldn’t turn you away, oh and of course the fingers you had been fiddling with happened to be of the man sitting right beside you.

Shuhua sets the papers down, her expression flat.

“So?” You grow more anxious, biting your bottom lip.

“I’ll let the graphic design department begin searching for an artist to go along with your cover art.” Your eyes widen. “It's wonderful.”

You jump up, dragging Jeno up on his own feet to celebrate with a hug. He smiles, not at all minding the fact that you’d just manhandled him.

You turn and face Shuhua then, tears brimming in the corner of your eyes. “Shuhua!”

“Don’t cry you big baby, you were always going to make it, you just needed more time.” She smiles, pulling you in for a short hug. “I’m proud of you y/n.”

“How am I not supposed to cry when you say things like that!”

The two of them laugh at you as you hug Jeno, hiding your face in his shirt. “I told you she’d love it.” Jeno says, patting your back. You look up at him, “It’s really thanks to you.”

He chuckles, “Thanks princess, but I wasn’t the one who wrote it.”

“Ah but you're the one who inspired it all!” You tease him, “Maybe I should add you as a co-writer.”

“Mhmm I’m sure my fans would be taken aback.”

“I don’t think they’d mind. Lee Jeno is known for being multiskilled after all.”

“Don’t you guys have places to be,” Shuhua groans. “I heard you booked a sold out show.”

“Oh right!” You exclaim, “we should really get going, don't want to keep anyone waiting.”

“Right, go on and leave! Take your puppy with you!”

Oblivion had really reached new heights of popularity, they’d been working so hard these past few months working on pushing out a full album that you had almost forgotten how your boyfriend looked. You giggle at the thought, you were Lee Jeno’s girlfriend.

The fans quickly took a liking to you, with how loud and relatable your personality was. They’d even spotted the two of you on a date (if you can call grocery shopping that) not too long ago, asking for a picture with Jeno that you quickly agreed to. Jeno, as humble as ever, had gushed at their compliments. And when the fan suddenly turned to you asking if they could also have a picture, Jeno was way too quick to take fifty of them.

Things were great, even with the busy schedules between the two of you, you made sure to make time to go to his shows.

“Guys, we’re going to need you on stage in the next ten minutes.” Chenle, Oblivion’s new manager, reminded everyone.

“Yes sir!” Mark saluted the man, “You heard him guys, hurry up.”

“I’m going to miss you.” You pout, running your hands over your boyfriend's forearm.

“Don’t be silly, I’m going to be looking right at you.”

“I don’t think the fans will appreciate that.”

“No they will,” Darling adds into your conversation. “They’ll add it to your cutest couple moments compilations.”

“You sound like you know them so well.”

“She has secret chat rooms with them,” Donghyuck squints at darling. “Where else would they have gotten those pictures of me and Jaemin.”

Jaemin wrapped an arm around the tan man. “Nope, all me.”

You laugh at the two of them, Jeno’s arms wrapping around you and he snuggles into your neck. “Do you want to come up on stage later?”

“Neno you know I can’t.”

“You can if it’s an encore,” he sighs. He really does look like such a puppy when he makes those eyes. “Please baby.”

You couldn’t say no to him. “Fine.”

He smiles, pulling you in for a short and sweet kiss that's partially interrupted by Chenle stopping by again to shout, "Five more minutes!”

“You guys are kind of disgusting.” Jisung scowls but from where he has his head laying to rest on darling’s shoulder.

“You say that, but need we remind you of the heinous acts the two of you got up to before our show?” Jeno threatens the couple with a smile on his face.

They match each other’s beet red. The rest of the band turned to laugh at the pair, teasing the couple further. That reminded you.

“Neno,” You ask. “Have you ever considered red hair?”

By the time the last song ended the crowd pushed for more, which meant that you could make do of your promise to your boyfriend. Security allowed for you to pass through and onto the stage, Jeno capturing your entire body the second you got close. “I missed you.”

“I thought you said you’d be looking right at me.”

“Yeah but that only made me miss you more.”

The band, as per fan request, chose to perform their final song again, this time with a twist. Jisung was to take over lead vocals as the rest of them swapped instruments, safe for Jeno who instead had to direct you to play for him.

You sat on his lap, a bright smile on your face that was battling the stage lights. You’d never felt happier, you think, sitting with Jeno. A part of it scared you, not knowing what could come out of this. You hadn’t ever expected to be living as one of your novels, but here was the man in front of you willing to give you your happy ending. Loving you so openly despite his similar fears.

“Here,” he gives you a drum stick. You accept holding onto it as his bigger hand wraps around yours. “Follow my lead.” He brings the stick down, hitting the snare with light force. Not enough to have you jumping off of him but enough for you to squeal in shock. 

His laughs fill your ears despite the heavy music and crowd. And as you turn back barely able to look straight into his eyes, you find him already looking into yours. This time with an expression you find easy to recognize with how much you love him too. 

You realize it then, you’d follow his lead anywhere.

࣪𖤐 the end ── ★ ̟

FINAL NOTES: This one was so much less angsty than the other one and I was scared if that would affect the readers experience but my beta reader said that both stories were on par with one another… Anyway i’m happy to write more of these two in the next part.. Donghyuck biases i hope ur excited!!

taglist: @jwilous @haechanahceah67 @vsrenne @reveries01 @bluesbliss @crzyhyuck @miauumin @yesohhsehun @kittydollzz @hi00000234567 @zhapire @babyjieee @kzyhycklvr @thisgomdo @honeybeehorizon @notmastyle @idkwiexist @stormy1408 @positionslab @neobeesprout @hyuckluverr @jwikyo @haylandthewoods-blog @oneuluihaechan @alili-milidoy @okkkcausewhet @kkkkkeonho @klowiishere @fancypeacepersona @dior-15 @voucearse @bluedbliss @beomgyus11 @zhapire @t3kandson @firydst @hancafe @saranghoeforanton @strawbabyz @cupid4hae

[i-hate-fruits]

NCT JNJM | JENO Trailer Film Behind the Scenes

[haepink]

silently loving ♪ L.JN

synopsis: your loyal best friend whose feelings have long outgrown platonic ties. genre: slice of life, i guess. angst. eventual smut. slowburn (if you squint). friends to lovers. mutual pining. word count: 9.6k~ warnings: both reader and jeno are two idiots so prepare to be ragebaited. mentions of karina and jaemin. jeno gets major jealousy. cussing and a bit of arguing. cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected sex (uh oh!), dirty talk, petnames, mock sympathy, dom!jeno, praise kink, teensy bit overstimulation... i think that's it lmao ?

mimi's note ࣪ ˖ ི : i first wanted to start off saying thank you all SO FREAKING MUCH for all the support on my blog so far, i wasn't expecting my work to be loved this early 🥹 so as a proper gift of gratitude, i present my first (kinda) full-fledged jeno fic!! i know ncity's a bit fucked rn so hope this helps.. anyways, happy reading <3

it's hard to say when it began, this confidant-like friendship you now share with jeno. you two met through mutual friends, and slowly yet surely, he became the one person you turn to with every romantic disappointment that plagues your life.

ghosted by a man again? tell jeno. regretting a horrid hookup? jeno's hearing of it. developing feelings for a guy from another dating app? jeno, jeno, jeno.

it's not like you set out to use him as your personal therapist or something; he just happened to be an exceptionally good listener. and he never once complained.

this time was no different. you had bombarded jeno with multiple (wildly over dramatic) messages, demanding that he come over at once because of an "emergency conversation" that you simply had to inform him of. of course, being the ever-present and dependable friend he is, he dropped everything and came.

when he arrives, you're already dragging him inside and shutting the door behind him with a tad too much urgency, breaths uneven. you're in simple home clothes: a fitted tank top and relaxed shorts. jeno's attention drifts over your form for a moment too long. he feels his throat close up and his heart begins to hammer against his ribs. you look absolutely radiant. it's a domesticity that feels like a taunt; other men that you involve yourself with that get to have access to the utmost beauty that you are... and he doesn't. he hates it.

he shakes himself out of his trance and deliberately shifts his focus back to your face.

"...alright. what's going on?"

you're practically bouncing on your toes, letting out tiny squeals and excited little exhales. it's so cute to him that he wants to bash his face in. when your energy finally dips slightly, you seize him by his collar and yank him close, until your faces are just inches apart.

"me and you are going on a double date!"

jeno's head begins to reel from your words. a... double date? you've organized a date for yourself and actually found a girl for him as well? the thought alone is exhausting. his unrequited love for you is nearly impossible to suppress as it is, and now he has to spend an entire evening pretending as though he's at all interested in another woman while watching you with another man? it sounds like a nightmare.

but he can't bear to refuse when you look so happy. your wide smile and the way you're jumping and giggling, it's one of the most adorable sights he's ever witnessed. and so, his response spills out of him before he can even reconsider.

"when is it? and where, exactly?"

another soft, delighted squeal slips from your lips, and he feels any remnants of his hesitant resistance to the offer crumble, melting like warm putty at the sound of it.

"it's next weekend! at that one bar/grill joint we passed that one time—you remember, right?" you exclaim, eyes sparkling with that beautiful anticipation. "please, please, please tell me you're free then, jen-jen."

jen-jen.

if you weren't already mercilessly tugging at his heartstrings, that infuriatingly sweet little nickname would have singlehandedly shattered and snapped them completely.

"yeah.. yeah, i'll make sure to free up my schedule for next weekend."

you yelp out of joy, immediately throwing your arms around him and murmuring soft words of gratitude and encouragement while he quietly feels his heart simultaneously break and swell at your embrace.

in what feels like a much shorter time span than a week, the destined weekend double date finally arrives. jeno is all nerves and anxiety, his traitorously unhelpful conscience conjuring up all the many ways this could go very wrong.

the plan is for him to pick you up from your apartment at exactly 6:30 and no later than to head to the place together, since it's already half an hour drive.

he dressed casual, but not too casual. he pulled on a gray-ish henley with dark wash jeans and some brown, small boots. not too shabby, he supposed.

when he pulled up to your apartment and knocked on the door, he barely had time to wait twenty seconds before you swung it open. when his eyes landed on you, you stood there dressed in one of the most beautiful, casually enchanting dresses he's ever seen you in. and considering how many times he's had the misfortune of watching you doll up for other men, that's saying something.

"wow, you look..." he mumbles under his breath. he doesn't even have time to wonder if you caught it because you cut him off before the sentence can fully take shape.

you smooth the fabric of your dress with a quick motion and pick up your delicate purse from the small stand near the door. it then clicks shut behind you as you step out into the very pleasant weather of an august evening. the scent of your feminine, airy perfume wafts up to jeno's nose in large waves of sweetness, which is more than his already precarious restraint can bear.

"oh my goodness, you're perfectly on time!" you exclaim. "we should leave now—i don't want us to be late."

he nods and immediately leads you to the parking lot, opening the passenger door of his car for you, the gesture silent but undeniable in its chivalry. despite the 'just friends' label that you both stupidly cling onto, he can't resist treating you with every ounce of tender, gentlemanly attention a boyfriend would. the same attention you complain to him about not finding in any man you talk to romantically.

if only you bothered to open your eyes...

you climb into his passenger seat, swiftly clicking in your seatbelt with one hand while the other pulls out your phone to type in the name of the joint into the GPS app. jeno walks around the car and slips into the driver's seat, switching on the ignition and clicking in his own seatbelt.

"i'm so freaking excited, jeno, seriously. me and this guy have great chemistry, and i'm sure that you'll love his friend that he's bringing too. she's super pretty. wanna see?"

he's not at all excited. he shakes his head, gently taking your phone from your hands and placing it on his right thigh with the directions on-screen as he pulls out of the parking lot, one arm moving to rest behind your headrest as he reverses.

"i'll see her anyway when we get there, no?"

you blow a lighthearted raspberry at him, flipping down the overhead mirror to take one last glance at your makeup. light brown tones dust your eyelids, while a delicately lighter shade of pink warm your cheeks. your lips, coated with a thin layer of glossy sheen, look succulent and soft under the combined, dim light of the car and the moon above.

it's an entire battle in and of itself for him to keep his eyes on the road ahead, and not blatantly gawk at you the way he wants to.

it kills him to ask—to feign interest in any aspect of this situation—but anything to break the silence that's beginning to envelope the space of the car.

"so... about the guy. and the girl too, i guess. but um.. how well do you know them?"

you snap the overhead mirror back into place, gently tugging the hem of your dress a little lower on your thighs. clearing your throat, you speak with that easy, naturally smooth tone that has developed between you two after months of closeness.

"well, i don't know the girl at all—tonight will be my first time meeting her, too. but the guy, we've been talking back and forth for about a month now. his name is jaemin—he's really hot, actually, but i can't tell if he's just another jackass... guess we'll find out."

jeno simply nods along, his face betraying nothing of his inner turmoil and how every word leaving your lips is slowly chipping away at and dismantling his sanity and emotional control.

"i'm excited," is all he murmurs. you clap and smile widely, beaming with delight at his apparent enthusiasm. you remain unaware of just how violently he's fighting the impulse to turn his car all the way back to your apartment and call this whole idiotic 'quadruple date' off.

for the rest of the ride, he switches on some smooth r&b, velvety vocals and silky instrumentals flowing through the speakers at a comfortable volume, wrapping the car in a cocoon of intimate warmth.

approximately half an hour later, they pull into the parking lot of the bar/grill joint, the sturdy yet inviting brick building's windows already showing flickers of other customers within the establishment, which is bathed in yellow-toned lighting.

you exited the car almost before he had fully parked, and the sight made his stomach churn. he felt the urge to lock the doors and remain seated (possibly for the rest of his days) intensify. only now that he was parked in front of the building, which seemed more like hell on earth than an inviting, fun place to enjoy a night out, was the reality of the situation beginning to crystallize.

when you glanced back and saw jeno still frozen behind the wheel through the windshield, you waved him over with a playful gesture, your expression blooming into one of your signature, sweet, torturously disarming smiles; the very one he wishes he could devour right off your pretty little face.

he sighs softly to himself, muttering "just do it, it'll be fine" over and over under his breath as he opens the driver's side door, climbing out of the car and walking over to your side, following you into the establishment.

he rests a hand on the small of your back as you enter together, the touch effortlessly instinctive. the lively chaos of the combined bar and grill immediately swallows both of you. almost every table is packed with customers, some nursing drinks while others enjoy meticulously prepared meals. a vibrant tapestry of chatter and laughter fill the space as your eyes sweep the room in search of the two individuals you're here to acquaint yourselves with.

finally, your eyes land on a man with jet black hair, the strands artfully arranged to accentuate his striking appearance. beside him stood a woman whose face you couldn't quite discern all the way from here, but from what you can see, she looks drop-dead gorgeous. that must be jaemin and his friend. you practically gripped jeno's arm and led him across the room with purposeful strides to the table in the corner.

as you and jeno approached the table, jaemin and his friend glanced up with welcoming smiles and rose from their chairs to greet you both. and wow... jaemin had not overstated his friend's beauty. up close, she was stunning—every contour and soft play of light on her face seems handcrafted by Aphrodite herself. an almost ethereal loveliness.

"you must be karina, right?"

she nods with a smile of such devastating beauty that you're convinced it has felled hundreds of hearts across her lifetime.

you two exchange quick and friendly introductions, and you greet jaemin in turn, who looks like he's trying his absolute best not to check you out. then her gaze moves to jeno, drawn almost immediately to the way one of his hands is gently resting on the small of your back. she chuckles softly to herself at the sight, and then her eyes meet yours again.

"you sure you two are just friends...?"

you laugh, the sound carrying a unintentional hint of awkwardness, as you nod in quick succession. you reach back and carefully remove jeno's hand from your lower back. you felt it—the way his fingers resisted for a moment, clinging to yours stubbornly before releasing.

another of those quiet, intimate gestures that you habitually ignored for the sake of maintaining the fragile boundary of friendship.

"yeah, yeah, of course! jeno's like a brother to me, i swear."

jeno's jaw tightened at the uncomfortable description, but he schooled his expression to one of neutrality. after all, it was perfectly reasonable for you to see him as a brotherly figure. though the sting of it lingered nonetheless.

jaemin took your hand and led you to the seat beside his, pulling it out with the courtesy of a proper gentleman. jeno watched the exchange with the most weakly masked unease, though he stayed silent, lowering himself in the chair next to karina's. she offered him a warm smile. any other man would have melted at the sight, but jeno returned only a polite grin before facing forward. he bore the girl no ill will - she was strikingly beautiful and clearly kind - but his heart has belonged to another for so long that he can't even begin to feign interest in others anymore.

a few long-ish minutes later, a female server approaches the table, and with the amount of patrons currently in the establishment, how flushed her face is, and how she's slightly panting, you can tell they're slammed tonight.

"hello, i'm terribly sorry for the wait! what can i get you guys?"

the group settled on their orders. jaemin opted for pulled pork paired with complimenting whiskey, karina chose a margarita alongside a New York strip steak, you went with grilled chicken and vodka, and finally, jeno ordered the pork chops, along with the only non-alcoholic drink at the table - crisp apple cider.

the server jotted down your orders on her notepad with a certain impressive speed that only years of food service could hone. she assures you all that the kitchen would begin preparing your dishes shortly, then hurried off with a quick smile.

once the drinks arrived, the table erupted into small cheers and murmurs of gratitude. jaemin raised his glass of whiskey and clinked it softly against yours with a warm, charming grin. "to a fun night," he murmured, voice like silk, "and to the company of an absolutely gorgeous woman."

you giggled softly and lifted your glass to clink it against his, taking a delicate sip of the colorless vodka. the liquid leaves a satisfying burn as it slides down your throat. across the table, jeno observes this intimate interaction with a heavy gaze, taking weak, insufficient sips of his cider. karina either is completely incognizant to how jeno's eyes are blatantly glued onto you and jaemin, or she did indeed detect it and chose not to acknowledge it. it seems to be more likely the latter since she then leans in and rests a boldly flirtatious hand on his thigh.

"hey there," she purred, her voice laced with amusement. "you've been awfully quiet since you got here." she laughed softly and scooted her chair closer to his, despite being right beside each other. "i don't think i've heard you say a single word yet."

jeno is snapped out of his very unambiguous studying of you and jaemin, turning to look at karina. her winsome, inviting eyes stare right back at him expectantly, and he feels slightly shamefaced for glaringly neglecting this girl and barely acknowledging her presence, too focused on the conversation you and jaemin are currently engrossed in. he clears his throat and internally pressures himself to at least attempt small-talk with this hopeful woman.

"hey, sorry about that." he replied, trying to shake off the distance and awkwardness. "i didn't mean to seem aloof. but anyways, tell me more about yourself. do you live around here?"

karina seemed much more animated now that jeno was actually participating in the conversation and not dwelling inside his own head. she nods enthusiastically, her fingers tapping a gentle rhythm where they rest on his thigh.

"yeah, i just moved to this area about half a year ago," she said with a warm, sincere smile. "it's been lovely so far!"

jeno gave her a small nod and smiled back politely, the picture of poise. in truth, behaving as though he was absorbed in whatever karina was going on about right beside him felt far more tortuous than he had projected. he tried to contain himself, to restrict his gaze from perpetually finding you and jaemin across the table. he couldn't. his knee was beginning to jitter uncontrollably, sweat was coating his palms in a thin layer of glistening sheen, and his jaw cinched repeatedly. karina's voice dissolved further into the background while the chatter of you and jaemin became deafeningly loud, echoing throughout the recesses of his mind.

luckily, the food arrived just then - a very crucial distraction from jeno's downward spiral. you all thank the server heartily, taking your respective plates while warm steam rises up from the meals in curling plumes. the ambrosial scent of cooked/grilled meat wraps around everyone, and you all fumble to uncover the knives and forks from their neatly folded napkins. jaemin leans over and whispers something to you that jeno - to his disappointment - couldn't decipher from across the table, earning a small chuckle from you. he reaches over to steal a slice of your grilled chicken and you smack his hand away, pushing him gently. he laughs at it; as do you. and all the while, jeno can't seem to look away from your naturally cute and intimate little moment with jaemin.

why was he condemned to sit on the sidelines, forced to spectate you lavish your warmth and attention onto any man but him?

karina observed it all, naturally. i mean, if you weren't so thoroughly preoccupied with jaemin and his flirtatious charm, you would too. anyone with eyes who bothered to pay even an ounce of attention could see how obvious it was that jeno's awareness was fixed on you and the man at your side.

he tore into the tender pork meat harder than necessary, the sharp line of his jaw clenching with each grind of his teeth. this is pure hell for him. he's not sure how much longer he can sit at this table and watch you glow for another man until he ends up clawing his own face off (and jaemin's too.)

then karina claps her hands, successfully drawing attention from the group as she shifts in her chair. "alright, guys, how about a fun icebreaker? never have i ever, two truths and a lie - a game to actually get to know each other?"

you and jaemin are quick to show enthusiasm, but jeno's face remains meticulously deadpan. you finally notice his contrast of reaction from the group and lean forward, addressing him for what is probably the first time since you and jaemin became lost in conversation.

"you're okay with that, right, jen-jen?"

again, that stupid fucking nickname that sends his heart racing faster than it ever should. sometimes he wished that you were simply ordinary. that you'd call him jeno like everyone else does, look ordinary, act ordinary. that you'd just be the most unremarkable and dull woman that he'd have no issue keeping at a platonic distance comfortably. but of course… you're the farthest thing from ordinary. you're lively, magnetic, fun, and one of the most captivating people he's ever had the pleasure of being around. and if he wasn't so utterly terrified of losing your company forever by telling you that his feelings for you ran far deeper than friendship, he would. he'd have told you the moment he realized the truth himself, would have shouted it from the rooftops. but alas, fear of causing your absence from his life has kept him silent and in suffering. and here he remained.

"yeah, of course. i'm up for a fun game."

you smiled warmly at his agreement, seemingly oblivious to his internal torment. and as if watching you be all lovey-dovey with jaemin since the second you two got here wasn't agonizing enough, he now had to witness you casually lean into his side as jaemin's hand boldly found its place on your waist. he clenched his jaw until it ached and tore his eyes away before he did something he'll truly regret - like dragging you out of this damn restaurant and into the backseat of his car where he'd fuck your brains out the way he's been desperately yearning to for far longer than is acceptable.

right then karina pipes up, speaking excitedly and grabbing jeno's hand under the table to intertwine it with hers, like they're already an established couple. "then let's play never have i ever and if you've done the thing mentioned, you have to take an extra large drink of whatever alcohol you ordered, okay? you have to be honest!"

she then tilted toward jeno and whispered softly to him, her voice flirtatious and kittenish - which, again, he would've wholly liquefied at if every inch of his very heavy heart wasn't served bare on a platter just for you. "i know you got cider, so we can just share my drink for the game, handsome." she purred.

jeno gave karina a wordless nod and a strained smile. although he had no desire to share a drink with her. no desire or pull to play this ridiculous game. and he certainly had no desire in seeing jaemin's relentless flirtation towards you, or even worse, to endure the sight of you and your girlish coquetry towards him. he wanted none of this. yet still, he had let you drag him here without so much as a single objection because of how you had lit up from within just talking about this. and in the end, he knows deep down that here he'll stay, in silent agony, if it was what you wanted.

because what is lee jeno if not a fool for you?

the questions started innocently enough, none of them really pertaining to any of jeno's past (or distressingly current) experiences. things like "never have i ever slept with someone on the first day of knowing them," which jaemin and you, much to his dismay, drank to. the thought of some undeserving man who most likely fumbled through sex - failing to please you the way he knows he could - earning the privilege of taking you to bed on the first day... it burns a hole bubbling with searing jealousy through his chest.

karina comes up with the next question, sitting up straight in her seat as she clears her throat. "okay, what about.. never have i ever had feelings for a friend."

the table goes silent for a few moments. jaemin laughs insouciantly, putting up both hands in a cheeky gesture of mock surrender. "not me. all my friends stay friends." karina giggles and makes no move to drink either. then, jeno gently takes hold of the shared alcohol between him and karina, and takes a large, intentional gulp, far larger than necessary. your eyes hovered on his action, and after a few seemingly drawn-out seconds, you lift your own drink and take a sip.

jaemin uttered out an absurdly immature "oohhh", prompting you to gently elbow him while scoffing. jeno, however, stayed mostly stone faced. if anyone bothered to spare a glance under the table, the only thing to give him away would be the restless bounce of his leg.

you sighed softly and shrugged, letting your back press against the backrest of the chair as though your words held no weight at all. "i don't know," you muttered. "sure, i've developed feelings for a few guy friends over the years, but it was never anything major." but jeno had caught the way your eyes had stayed on him when he drank after the question. how it felt as though you weren't planning to drink until he had, which is when you lifted your glass in tandem. your nonchalance rang hollow in his ears - he wasn't convinced. or maybe it was another false impression.

jaemin then turned to jeno, probably their very first one-on-one interaction of the night, as he jutted his chin to him, a nonverbal beckon for his attention. "what about you? why'd you drink?"

jeno's eyes found yours for a fleeting moment before compelling his eyes back down to his drink, where he traced the rim of it with his index finger. "the same for me, i guess." he carded his fingers through his hair. "i sometimes become friends with women that i don't really have strictly platonic intentions with, and i just hope that over time, the label of friendship will drive my feelings to just fade. but... they usually don't."

a blanket of silence fell over the table before jaemin snorted softly, reaching across the table to gently shake jeno by the shoulder. "damn, man. that's gotta suck."

jeno pressed his lips into a thin, taut smile. his opinion of jaemin was souring further and further the longer this outing progressed, but he kept this sentiment carefully disguised, not wanting to spoil the mood.

the game carried on for another half hour, the restaurant gradually emptying out until only your table remained. jeno had only drank a few more times throughout the rounds and was just a tad bit tipsy, while you most definitely had fallen victim to the alcohol completely. you were all over jaemin now, pressing soft kisses on the side of his neck and murmuring things into his ear that he kept chuckling at. karina had apparently caught onto the way jeno's eyes were hooked onto any physical touch that was exchanged between you and jaemin, so she leaned in and whispered.

"you like her, don't you?"

jeno's head snapped to karina beside him, his stance frozen like a deer in headlights. he blinked at her, once, twice. she only laughed at him, gently patting him on the arm. "if you're gonna ask me how i know, save it. anyone with a working pair of eyes could figure it out. the real question is how she hasn't noticed yet."

jeno looked over at you - how your head was resting on jaemin's shoulder, how he was leaning in to brush his nose against yours. it made his fingers curl, nails digging into his thighs. "yeah. i do." he breathed. "and i'm sick of watching from the fucking sidelines."

karina pulled out her phone, noting the time: 10:05 pm. the restaurant was surely set to close soon. she drew near jeno again, voice low and slightly expectant as she spoke, "then tell that to her, not me. tonight. because if you don't... you'd better believe she'll be waking up in jaemin's bed come morning."

jeno visibly flinches at the thought, and his gaze lifts to find karina's. the flirtatious smiles that she had been offering him throughout the evening had faded completely, replaced by a warmer, more encouraging grin. and for the first time all night, jeno reciprocated her beaming expression. he reached over and gave her hand a gentle, friendly squeeze. "thank you, rina," he murmurs softly.

she waved her hand dismissively, her smile shifting to something more mischievous but still warm. "oh, don't thank me. the last thing i want is to try and pursue a guy whose heart is already taken." then she stands up, her voice louder now to get yours and jaemin's attention.

"alright, guys! it's getting late, let's wrap up here."

you let out a drunken groan of disappointment and latched onto jaemin's arm, shaking your head like a petulant child. he chuckled and began to rise, trying to coax you out of your seat as well. after a few moments of half-hearted resistance, you finally gave in, swaying from side to side as you stood shakily.

"come on, darling. let's get you into the car," jaemin hummed, one strong arm wrapped securely around your waist while he carried your purse in his other hand. jeno glanced at the other man's affectionate touch on you from the corner of his eye, jaw tightening as he willed his feet forward, to the restaurant exit. he reached the door before the rest of you, holding it open.

karina stepped outside first and waited for the group, tapping her foot lightly against the pavement. the moment jaemin escorted you through the doorway, jeno moved. he couldn't refrain himself - he wanted nothing more than to be the one with his arm curved around your waist, holding you steady, feeling your delicate head be supported by his broad shoulder, all of it. he deserved that. more than jaemin, more than anyone.

jeno's large hand gently (yet firmly) slid around your upper arm and carefully extracted you from jaemin, pressing you into his side instead. his gaze shifted to jaemin's face, bewilderment evident on his features. the look swirling in jeno's eyes wasn't outright anger, but it was by no means friendly, either.

"i'll take care of her," he stated unwaveringly. with that, he guided you out of the doorway and into the cool night air, the faint chill skimming across your skin. jaemin blinked in clear confusion before trailing after you three. karina and jaemin made their way to their parked car that they arrived in as jeno helped you over to say your goodbyes.

"i'll text you soon, sweetheart," jaemin said, reaching out to touch your shoulder. a tipsy smile rounded your lips, but jeno deftly tilted you backward before jaemin's hand could even graze you. to any casual observer, it might've seemed like he was simply stabilizing you, but that was far from the truth. in reality, after nearly three excruciatingly long hours of watching you entwined with another man, he can no longer endure even the faintest whisper of jaemin's hands upon you.

after exchanging brief farewells with jaemin and karina (who had an almost imperceptible but clearly present smirk on her face), jeno paused. before he fully walked away and towards his car, he leaned in close to jaemin, just out of your earshot, and muttered, the muscles of his jaw tensing noticeably. "this was a one-time thing. trust me, she's not that interested in you. so move on." jaemin's eyes widened, but his discombobulated brain couldn't even form a proper response before jeno was already turning away, striding across the parking lot with you in his grasp. was any of that true? no. were you actually interested in jaemin? from what he witnessed while on the date, yes. but jeno didn't care. he refused to let this thing between you and jaemin blossom, which would undoubtedly oblige him to endure more instances of flirtatious tomfoolery between you two.

he then opens the passenger door and helps you inside, reaching over you to buckle you in, his large, warm fingers brushing your waist. the accidental contact sends a tingle up his spine, making him swallow deeply in order to collect himself and his unexpectedly improper thoughts. he closes the door and rounds the front of the car to the driver's side, slipping inside and clicking his buckle in as well.

jeno pulls out of the parking lot, observing with mild disgust and annoyance as you roll down your window to wave goodbye to jaemin and karina as the car passes them, and before you can blow a kiss to jaemin, jeno extends one hand from the steering wheel towards the window control panel on his left, swiftly pulling up on the switch for the passenger window, rolling it up.

you turn to frown at jeno, eyebrows furrowed and your bottom lip jutting out slightly in a pout. it would've been a cute sight if he wasn't already brimming with cutting envy and aggravation. "what's your deal tonight? if you told me you were gonna be in such a pissy mood all evening, then i would have just gone on the date alone, with only me and jaemin," you uttered. the words only further fueled the flame that was scorching him from the inside, and he blabbered out something bitter in reply.

"yeah, of course, and then there would be no one there to stop you from making the moronic decision of jumping his bones on the first night, right?"

your face wrinkled with ire, and you sat up straight despite the alcohol, clearly wired up now from his jab at you and your practices with men you talk to. your voice increased in volume as the hostility between you two blanketed the car in suffocating intensity. "oh, really?" you exclaimed. "and who the hell are you to fucking sit here and dictate who i can and can't sleep with?" he went rigid. he didn't have a clear answer to that without revealing the depth of his feelings for you.

he released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and extinguished the blistering fire that had begun to engulf his insides, softening his tone. "i'm just looking out for you. i don't want idiots who don't even understand your worth to constantly have access to you... or your body," he breathed. as the words left his lips, he knew they skirted perilously close to the truth.

but clearly, his tone quieting didn't fully appease you the way he'd hoped. the alcohol in your system has made you especially susceptible to your emotions, and they were rapidly taking over for the still remaining twenty minutes of the drive back. the volume of your voice only increased and you spat back, "looking out for me? don't sit here and fucking bullshit me, jeno - you've never said shit about who i have sex with before. so why the hell are you suddenly in my business?" jeno gritted his teeth together at the honesty of your words. it was true, of course. he had rarely let himself bring this topic up and how much it frustrated him, but his composure was evaporating now. the weight of it was pressing down on his chest, trying to smother him in his own love for you.

meanwhile, you weren't entirely unaffected, either. for quite some time now, something had always been twisting your chest whenever jeno was near. a strange, incessant ache that shrunk you like a wrung-out cloth. it happened whenever you felt his hands unintentionally brush your skin, whenever you felt his eyes on you when you weren't looking, only for him to turn away the moment you glanced back his way. it frustrated you to no end, this inability to decipher him. how one second he seemed completely fine with your quest for finding the right guy, encouraging even, while the next he was disapproving of it all, snapping at you and calling your choices idiotic. the inconsistency made your head spin.

his temper was rising again as well, knuckles whitening as his fingers clutched the steering wheel like he was fighting not to rip it off. "because i can't fucking stand it," he growled. "i can't sit there and watch you throw yourself at him all night, let him touch you, kiss your neck like he has any right to. it makes me sick to my stomach, i mean, god damn it, sunshine, he doesn't even know you! you don't know him, and he deserves none of the privileges that you're simply handing to him, god, i just-" he cuts himself off with a sharp intake of breath, pressing his lips together.

the car was plunged into a weighty silence for several long seconds. your head snapped to look at him, chest rising and falling rapidly. your eyes burned into his side profile - that sharp jawline that you had privately dreamt of kissing. lower still, they drifted to that prominent bob of his adam's apple, that you had regularly imagined of dragging your nose along just to drown yourself in that masculine, musky scent of his. the bitterness in your tone was now laced with something much more deeply rooted in your friendship with jeno: hurt, confusion... yearning. "then why don't you ever say anything? why do you always do this, act all supportive of me getting to know other men and then randomly lose your shit on a random tuesday?"

jeno didn't answer. he didn't know how to without ripping open a door he wasn't ready to walk through. he didn't want to lose you. the fear of shattering the fragile balance of your friendship, trust, company... it's all that kept circulating in his mind. so, he remained silent throughout the rest of the drive to your apartment. however, you continued to fire off pointed arguments every few minutes, your annoyance and exasperation only fueled further by his stubborn silence. finally, he pulled into the parking spot right outside your building, and the second the car was parked, you unbuckled yourself and stormed out, with jeno trailing right behind. you flew up the lobby stairs and to your door, keys already in hand as you continued to complain. it was clear you were planning to resume this feud inside.

you shove the keys inside the keyhole and twist sharply, pushing the door open as your voice continues to cut through the air, jeno's large frame looming close behind you. "i mean, you have to fucking cooperate, jeno!" you snapped, irritation pouring out of you in large heaps. "i'm trying my best to understand what the hell is going on inside your head, and you just—"

he doesn't let you finish your sentence. the second the door shuts, he locks it and grabs you by the shoulders, walking you backwards until your back is flattened against the wall, leaving you trapped between the white surface behind you and his tall, muscular body in front of you. his pitch is much lower than it was in the car, rougher in a different way. not anger... but want. it made your stomach flip with something like excitement and pure desire. he's never once spoken to you like this. not the supportive, caring, loyal jeno you've grown to know. this version of him was entirely new, and you were shameless enough to like it.

"you wanna know what the fuck is going on in my head? huh?" his eyes bored into you with something you could only describe as raw hunger. "you really want me to say it? fine." his grip on your shoulders tightened, bordering on a sting. "i'm jealous, alright? I'm so fucking jealous of every single goddamn guy that you've gone on dates with, slept with, and spent any of your precious time with. why? because i want it. i want you. all for myself, every fucking piece."

you stood there and blinked at him with wide eyes, heart pounding so hard that it feels as though it's going to leap out of your chest and land right in his palms. his gaze softens somewhat when he sees your dumbfounded expression, and he drops his forehead to yours, breathing in your scent properly for what's probably the first time ever. he murmured, "i'm sorry for not telling you until now, i know, it's a stupid, stupid thing for me to hide it from you. i just... god, i just didn't want to lose you, and now i don't know if i already have—"

now it was your turn to cut him off. rising onto your toes to reach his mouth, your lips silencing his with a passionate kiss. it froze him for a good few seconds. then the dam shattered, and his larger, calloused hands abandoned your shoulders and tumbled into your hair, moving his lips against yours like he's been craving for the taste of you since the moment he first laid eyes upon you. the dominance of him is almost overwhelming as he caught your lower lip between his teeth, demanding entry. the instant your lips parted, his tongue swept inside and began tangling with yours.

you moaned into his mouth, fingers curling into his shirt as he pressed you harder against the wall, his strong body molding perfectly against yours. you can't remember the last time you felt this intoxicated by a man's touch. one of his hands left the strands of your hair to grip your thigh, hoisting it high around his waist as he ground himself against you, causing another soft whimper to roll off your tongue, which he was currently devouring. you could feel the growing tent in his jeans, which was only making your head swim with more indecent thoughts.

he broke the kiss briefly, only to trail his hot, open mouth along the line of your jaw and neck, making your head fall back against the wall and your lips part in a noiseless gasp. "fuck..." he pressed his nose to your neck, inhaling that heady, exquisite fragrance that always clung to you like it was your natural essence. he rasped against your skin, muttering, "you have no idea... just how many times i've dreamt of this. of you." he sounded desperate. like he doesn't know how to contain his passion for you now that he finally had you at his mercy. his hips twitched against yours, silently imploring for any kind of friction as his hand slipped under your dress, fingers poking into the silky smooth skin of your inner thighs.

"please," he whispers huskily between kisses placed to the delicate skin of your throat. "let me have you. i'll make you feel so good, i'll show you just how much i've longed for you—just, please. my gorgeous, gorgeous girl..." his hips still subtly rolled against yours, as if he was hardly holding himself back.

and how could you say no to him when he's pleading so pretty?

your fingers gently twisted the satiny strands of his hair that were fragrant with something fresh and citrusy like mint lemonade. you buried your nose into his hair, immersing yourself into his scent as you hummed against his locks, "then have me, jen. because god knows i've wanted you, too."

he lifts his head for his eyes to meet yours, irises sparkling with something like pleasant surprise and trust. he chuckles, shaking his head as if this situation is one of the most ridiculous circumstances he's ever caught himself tangled up in. "jesus, we are both so fucking stupid and blind."

and then his mouth slammed onto yours again, like any ounce of human etiquette had leaped out the window, leaving an unbridled, primal sense of want that was overriding any other emotion in his body. he lifted you off your feet, both large hands on the underside of your thighs as he carried you to your bedroom. he laid you down on your bed. the same bed that he had sat on many instances prior to this moment, while you ranted to him about another disappointing interaction with a man. all while he was battling not to strip you bare and show you how satisfactory he could really be for you.

his lips attached onto your pulse point and sucked, tongue flicking and teeth nipping gently. it made your back arch just slightly off the bed as you felt your panties clinging to your heat, which was becoming dewy with your juices. and as if he just had some kind of hunch on how damp you were growing because of him, he chuckled almost mockingly, warm palms sliding up your thighs and pushing up your dress.

"are you getting wet already, pretty? is that all it took for you? hmm?" he spread your legs to make room for himself, before his vision fell to the expanding wet spot on the center of your pink, cotton lace trim panties. his breath caught at the sight as he let out a shaky exhale. you felt so exposed - your face was reddening with warmth and your eyes had already gone cloudy despite him barely doing anything to you yet.

he gently reaches one finger between your legs and gently moves aside the strip covering your wetness, revealing your dripping, aching folds to his eyes. he lets out a broken, needy sound at the display - a mix between a low groan and a whimper. he curls that finger and slowly drags the undergarments all the way down your legs, tossing it somewhere, forgotten on your bedroom floor.

he brings his face closer to your heat, breath fanning on your oversensitive flesh as he trailed kisses up your inner thigh with as much patience as he could muster in this moment.

"my god, baby... you can't even fucking fathom how beautiful you are right now.."

you could barely process the flush his words were producing on the apples of your cheeks before you felt his lips press against you, making you choke out a soft gasp. he snickers at how effortlessly he pulls those lovely noises from you. he prefers to believe that none of those other assholes you were involved with got to you as much as he does. i mean, the proof is right here, isn't it?

he begins to place heated, open-mouthed kisses on your pussy, each one provoking a small shiver to ripple through you. then his tongue sweeps through your slit, all the way from bottom to top. it tugged a soft, needy whine from the back of your throat. your fingers hurried to grasp at his locks in between your legs, hips rolling forward and subconsciously seeking more of his mouth.

"there you go, sweetheart," he murmured against you, the sound delivering vibrations through your cunt, only adding to the ecstasy. "doing so good f'me.."

each filthy praise and desperate murmur that dripped from his lips like melted, drizzling honey only made you clench tighter around his tongue. he smirked against your soaked warmth, eyes flicking up to yours, which were half-lidded and pleasure-drunk. he knew what he was doing to you, and he fully intended on making you crumble for him like no other man had. and no other man ever will.

the tip of his tongue began circling and flitting against your extremely sensitive bud, forcing your sounds to evolve from simple whines and whimpers to uncontrolled moans and gasps, back arching off your sheets. and then you felt your eyes roll back and an unbridled wail push past your lips when he applied suction to your clit, your fingers tugging at his hair.

"jeno, fuck—! oh my god..."

he only doubled his efforts at your cry, determined to unravel you completely. one of his thick fingers teased your entrance before fully sinking it inside you, wet tongue still lapping and sucking at your puffy clit. the double sensation made a wave of blissful pleasure wash over you, making multiple whimpers of his name escape you.

and then he sped up. it felt less like he was doing it solely for your pleasure, and more like he himself was taking great delight in having your salty-sweet juices on his tongue.

another finger joined the one that was already curling inside you, scissoring to stretch you further. the tip of his tongue flicked faster against your swollen bud, your back arching and legs twitching. your hips began to buck and attempt to flee from his ministrations between your legs. so, his free hand reached up and placed one large palm in the center of your stomach, pressing down gently to stop you from slipping away. the pressure only made the tightening knot in your abdomen feel as though it was going to burst.

"don't move. i'm not done."

your sounds slowly became more high-pitched and frequent as you started to near your climax, fingers knotting into his hair and pulling as though he's currently your only anchor to this earth. he growl-hissed against your flesh at the sharp yank stinging his scalp, the feeling only spurring him on.

"j-jeno, oh my god... i'm gonna—!" you gasp.

jeno smirked darkly against your clit, still lapping at your clit like a pussy drunk man, a third finger teasing your dripping hole. he mutters the words hotly into your skin, which sends another shock of pleasure through your body. "think you can fit a third finger before you cum, baby? or is your pussy too tight for that?"

you were so close to your orgasm that you could practically taste it, and all that was spilling from you now were barely coherent babbles, broken whimpers, and frantic nods. he exhaled a laugh at your helplessness, the air blowing over your clit and only making your legs twitch once more. and then, one last flip of his tongue and a striking curl of his fingers sent you toppling over the edge. an intensely euphoric surge crashed into you as your orgasm hit: legs twitching, jaw going slack, digits plunging into his locks, all of it. jeno helped you ride through your climax, his movements slowing down so as to not overstimulate or pain you in any way.

after you come down from your high with your chest heaving and eyes fluttered shut, jeno finally withdraws from between your legs. his fingers slowly eased out from inside you as well, one final flutter of your walls punctuating his exit. when your heavy-lidded eyes do open, the sight that greets you is arguably filthier than the entirety of what he just did to you. holding your stare, he stuck his fingers, slick with your essence, into his mouth as he sucked them thoroughly. as if he couldn't bear to waste even a single drop of you.

you couldn't help but ask breathlessly, "been wanting to do that for a while, huh?"

his signature eye smile flashed across his features, the very one that makes him resemble an adorable Samoyed in human form. but right now, on him... it looked like pure, unadulterated sin. the condition he's in - hair mussed from your fingers, chin and mouth area still glistening with your juices, and his eyes, that remained utterly ravenous as they bored into yours. the sight alone made that familiar dampness in your core return, oozing out of your entrance in small driblets.

and then came his voice, raspy and slightly hoarse, and it sent a new jolt of fresh want gushing through your thumping veins.

"for a really long time, sweetheart. and it was better than any fantasy of mine."

he hooked his arms beneath your thighs and pulled you close, until you were pressed snugly against him. he leaned down, face hovering just above yours as his voice came out in a wanting, husky murmur, "and now all this... it's got me so hard, it hurts," he hoarsely declared. "fuck, baby, it really hurts. you'll help me, won't you? please.."

it was his indirect, almost bashful way of seeking permission to take things further than his mouth's devotion to you alone. he was undoubtedly pining for more, his body trembling almost imperceptibly above yours in sheer necessity. yet the way his eyes search yours makes it crystal-clear that he'd instantly stop if it was too much for you. even amidst his ardent lust, jeno's care and affection for you outweighed it all.

however, you found it absolutely ludicrous that he had even a shroud of doubt of your want, primarily because the amounts in which your arousal was dripping out of you and beginning to pool onto your sheets in a mortifyingly obvious stain should've been enough. but of course, jeno needed explicit consent. what a gentleman.

so you nodded, eyes still glassy with unsatisfied desire. you wanted to go further, perhaps even more than he did. you breathed, "yes.. yes, i want to. please?"

and holy shit, that was all he needed to hear. jeno's lips descend upon yours with zealousness, one hand cradling the back of your neck to draw you nearer while the other deftly pops open the buttons of his jeans and tugs the zipper downward. he shoves both the denim and his boxers down his hips impetuously. his throbbing length bounds free from the confines of fabric, slapping his abdomen as he yanks his shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere onto the floor.

his eyes never leave yours as he strokes himself once, then twice, lining himself up to your opening before slowly pushing the mushroomy head inside. your walls immediately clench around him at the intrusion, eliciting a choked-off, squeaky gasp from you. he groans raggedly, one hand on your thigh to spread you wider for him as the other rests adjacent to your head on the sheets to keep him upright. in one more brisk movement, he's fully sheathed inside of you, his hold on your thigh tightening as he lets both of you adjust to the sensation.

"fuck, you're tight, baby—oh my god. gonna make me cum..." he mewled into your ear.

jeno babbled filthy praises and whimpers of pleasure continuously, beginning to rock into you slowly. his thrusts gradually began to accelerate, alongside his rants, which were becoming more frequent and lewd. however, you couldn't find any awareness in you (besides the extreme feelings of pleasure) to reply, so you laid there, twitching and trembling while your whines and moans resounded in the air. every drag of his cock inside your narrow, gummy walls sent shocks of ecstasy up your spine, creating a beautiful arch of your back.

he was so graciously endowed in the dick department that you could feel the tip of his cock brush against your cervix every other thrust, despite the fact that he wasn't going as deep as he could.

his hand slid up your spine to tangle in your strands, tugging on them gently to tilt your head back, baring the skin of your neck to him. he left a few hickeys in his wake as he spoke, "this pussy was made for me, baby, i swear... i can feel it in how well you fucking take me. no other man fit this well inside you, and i know it. say you know it, too."

you gabbled out an embarrassingly unintelligible response, too lost in ecstasy to even form any coherent words. he chuckled at this, his plunges into you becoming deeper, hitting your cervix more distinctly now.

"can't talk? feels too good?" the jerk had the audacity to fuck you stupid like this and then mock you for sounding like you've never spoken in your life. and of course, his thrusts only deepened as his hand reached down to toy with your clit.

"well, you're gonna have to speak if you want to come. so say—fuck—that you're mine. that this perfect pussy... every inch of it and of you, is mine and will never be anyone else's. and god, i'll give you anything and everything you want, i swear.."

you cried, "yours, jeno, f-fuck! all yours, please, yours.. w-wanna come, please, please..."

he pounds more relentlessly into you, losing himself to the tight wetness around him as his mouth devours yours. his thumb on your clit presses faster circles, propelling you to your peak. it was clear that you were both on the verge of orgasm, apparent with all the noises of bliss filling the room.

"j-jeno, i'm coming! i'm—"

in no longer than a few more seconds, a second orgasm crashes into you, your hands wrapping around his neck and pulling your chest to his as you moan and wail into his ear. jeno's hips slam into yours a few more times before he buries himself right to the hilt, crushing you against him as he groans deeply, letting his white, hot release pipe into you.

and then he melts completely. any trace of the slightly mocking, dominant, and harsh demeanor he used with you during sex dissipates immediately. you feel his warm lips brush against your cheeks, neck, forehead (where he lingers for a moment.) your eyes are fluttered shut, limbs boneless and bordering on numb from the intense experience.

"you did really well for me, gorgeous. so, so good... all for me."

a few minutes pass like that, - arms and legs entangled with one another, lazy kisses and sweet words of affirmation. finally, he sits up slightly, tucking a couple sweaty strands of your hair sticking to your forehead back into place before softly murmuring, "did you mean what you said? that you'll be mine?"

your eyes flitted open, irises still hazy from the aftermath and swirling with something riskily close to love as you stare at him and nod.

"of course i meant that. i've liked you for a while now, i just never said anything because... well, i didn't know the extent of how you felt. i thought you viewed me as a friend, and i didn't wanna ruin that with you."

jeno lets out a self-deprecating laugh, shaking his head as he mutters, "and to think that this entire time i hid it from you because i thought the same exact thing. just a pair of dumbasses, both of us."

you both burst out into laughter, hugging each other tighter as he plants a few more kisses on the blue-purplish marks he left on your skin, mapping them like twinkling stars in the sky. he pecks his way up to your ear, which is when he whispers to you:

"i'll take you on a proper date soon. and then we can do this again for the rest of our lives."

you giggle softly, running a hand through his hair.

"possessive, are we?"

he doesn't look amused.

"okay, okay, god! fine, we'll date. loser."

he laughs and scoops you up from the bed, still planting kisses all over your face as he carries you to the shower, kicking the door open.

"let's get you all cleaned up, pretty."

[jaylaxies]

CALL ME WHEN YOU HATE ME LESS

PAIRING: lee jeno x fem!reader (ft. jaehyun and jaemin)

GENRE/CW: smut, angst, eventual fluff, porn with plot, unprotected sex, cunnilingus, fingering, choking, blowjob, using panties as a gag, spitting, edging, squirting, mentions of fighting, blood, usage of nicknames, slowburn if you squint, emotional trauma, lmk if i missed anything!

WORD COUNT: 18,321 words. (18.3k)

PLAYLIST: here.

SYNOPSIS: Jeno Lee was a walking academic hazard—hot, broody, and failing just about everything that wasn’t football. Enter you, his new tutor: organized, overachieving, and absolutely not here for his attitude or his annoyingly perfect jawline. But between late-night study sessions, petty insults, and one very inconvenient almost-kiss, things start spiraling—fast. He’s supposed to be you project. You are supposed to hate him. Instead, you both are one sarcastic comment away from either a breakdown or a makeout—and honestly, it could go either way.

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni (the full fic will include smut).

A/N: hihi, angels! i'm finally back with a jeno fic aaa thank you my girls @jaeminvore @hoondrop @gojosmojodojo for giving me ideas and listening to me losing my shit over this fic <333 i hope y’all enjoy reading it <33 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <33

Chapter 1: Raised in Shadows, Told to Shine. 

Comparison. 

The core of all insecurities. The onset of overthinking. The path to self loathing. 

That’s what comparison does to a person—drive them to the edge of insanity in hopes of turning into something; into someone the others will look up to, compare themselves to. 

It was a bad thing per se, but it was motivation enough for Jeno to work harder in order to leave the country, to get away from his family. 

The reason? His mother ever so conveniently happened to have fallen in love with a rich guy, someone who never knew what struggle meant, and Jeno was just four back then. It didn’t take much time for him to settle into the lifestyle, however, no matter how much he could have prepared to face his step-brother, he simply couldn’t bother looking him in the eye. 

Why? Because he was known to be the epitome of perfection. Jung Jaehyun was the son every parent wanted, the student every teacher was fond of, the doctor every nurse wanted to work with. 

The sweet dimple on his cheek was a great asset in melting the hearts of everyone in his proximity or afar. 

Jeno on the other hand, wasn’t quite sure why he wasn’t considered to be enough, especially when he got decent grades throughout his school life, he wasn’t a bother, kind to those who were around them, but it changed. 

It changed when he got daily reminders of how he wasn’t even close to how amazing and successful his step brother was. 

That’s when things started looking down for Jeno. He stopped caring about the grades, he wasn’t sure why he was supposed to put up a I’m so good, so smart act in front of others when there was no reason for him to do that. 

Others didn’t bother doing the same for him. 

Rather, he tried to work upon the only thing he was passionate about, the only thing that mattered to him—football. 

Despite winning several trophies for playing the sport, his parents labelled it to be useless, which broke the last fragment of his heart, shattering it to the point of no return. 

Which would explain his current demeanor—moody, permanent scowl on his perfectly sculpted face and no care for the others around him. His sole focus being football, which is also the reason behind his current dilemma. 

“Being an excellent player in the sports team does not guarantee you your scholarship, Mr. Lee,” Jeno’s teacher incharge spoke up, taking off her specs right after reviewing his annual grade report, “you’re failing three out of five modules, and if you don’t start getting back on track soon, then I’m afraid you won’t be able to play in the team anymore.” 

Fuck. 

Jeno had been neglecting his studies, he admits, yet he never thought that he’d reach this point. It’s not that he wasn’t smart, he simply had no motivation to go on with his studies. His parents could easily pay the university to keep him around, however, he wanted nothing from them, which also explains why he got himself a scholarship in the first place. 

“I’m sorry if I’m late.” Jeno’s eyes snapped wide open, turning back to see his step brother entering the teacher’s cabin. 

“Why are you here?” Jeno asked, a muscle in his jaw twitching but Jaehyun only smiled. 

Jeno’s professor was equally stunned, probably even more with her jaw wide open at the appearance of such a handsome young man. 

“I called him in since your parents were busy,” his professor said, handling Jeno a letter, “go and find your tutor in the council room, she’ll be helping you with the upliftment of your grades, Mr. Lee, and now if you’ll excuse us, I’ve got to fill in your brother with your current situation,” she said the last part awfully sweetly as Jaehyun sat down in one of the vacant chairs, smiling at her kind tone. 

Jeno scoffed, the demeanor change around Jaehyun went crazy and he wasn’t a fan of it, especially when he was called in to complain about his mistakes. 

He simply wanted to leave the university and never come back. 

He waited, taking deep breaths before punching the wall, not being able to contain his anger. The impact did hurt, yet he paid no heed to it, the blood dripping as he walked towards the council room to get over with the day. 

The name written on the sheet wasn’t unfamiliar to him, rather it only wearied the already infuriated boy as he knocked on the door of the student council room, which was empty except for you sitting there, working on a few papers which appeared to be the newsletter for the month. 

“Come in,” you allowed, not looking up as Jeno made his way inside the room, observing the surroundings where he’s never been before. 

Then he looked your way, taking in your appearance. You looked cozy in your university varsity jacket, your specs sitting on your nose as you buried yourself in reading whatever it was that you were reading. He couldn’t deny you looked pretty in a way that’s comforting to eyes. 

With no words exchanged, he pushed the letter towards you, which finally made you look up at the source of disturbance, your eyebrows raising slightly as you most certainly did not expect the star football player to visit you in the council room, which he’s never been to before. 

He simply stood there, hands shoved into his pockets while still looking around, and you took a second to grab the letter, skimming over to read and understand that the letter was given by Mrs. Kim, the teacher in charge of your department, requesting you to take up the few teaching sessions you had applied for, Jeno being the student you’ll have to teach for the same. 

You clicked your tongue, folding the letter exactly as it was before pushing it his way, your arms folding across your chest as you finally spoke up, “I reject. I don’t wish to teach you.”

His eyes were quick to snap towards you, finally staring right into your own eyes, irritation clear as he pushed his tongue on his inner cheek, eyebrow raised. 

“Aren’t you supposed to kiss your professor’s feet, given that you’re in student council? And here I thought you’d be a good girl.” Jeno rasped, resting his arms on your table, leaning down to your level. 

You chuckled, expecting the exact response from him, “this is exactly why I don’t want to waste my time on you—you athletes don’t wish to study, you just require a passing grade, for which I don’t have time to spare.” 

“What the fuck do you mean waste your time?” 

“Lee Jeno, you’ve got more money with you than your bank account can handle, so I’m sure losing your scholarship won’t do you much harm,” you said with a sickening smile, “you’ve got no interest in studying, your attendance record states that oh so proudly.” 

“You don’t know shit about me,” Jeno seethed out, messy hair strands falling over his eyes. 

“I know everything I need to know about you. Now excuse me, unlike you, I actually have work to do,” you said, passing him a tight lipped smile, not letting the proximity faze you. 

“You—” 

Jeno’s sentence was cut short with two sharp knocks on the slightly ajar door, a head peeking in, successfully garnering your attention. You could feel your mood doing one eighty with the sudden intrusion of this stranger—whom you didn’t wish to be a stranger around anymore, your eyes softening, lips parting as you stared at him in awe. 

Meanwhile, if Jeno thought that the day was done being a bitch to him, then he was wrong because the level of irritation that bubbled up in him the moment he saw the change in your expressions. 

“Sorry to interrupt, may I get in?” Jaehyun asked, smiling his usual dimpled smile, which had you swooning in record time. 

You could practically see veins of frustration popping out on Jeno’s neck, “no. Your work is done, you should head back home,” he groaned, but Jaehyun only looked you way, continuing to get in, looking your way. 

“I’m Jaehyun, Jeno’s elder brother. I can’t thank you enough for agreeing on giving him tutoring lessons, especially with how busy you must be with council duties,” he spoke up, shaking your hand, which was smaller in his warm, big hands. 

Jeno scoffed, “she’s not—”

“Of course, Jaehyun! It’s my pleasure to help him out, and it’ll only help me better with my extracurricular credits! It’s no problem,” you nodded, a gentle smile on your face as your eyes practically twinkled with excitement, taking in the beauty that Jaehyun beheld. 

It was ridiculous. 

It was absurd how just two sentences; paired with a sweet smile from his brother, were enough for you to change your decision, in the span of two seconds at that. 

He tightened the hold he had on the strap of his black bag, “no fucking need. I’ll find another tutor,” Jeno deadpanned, walking out of the room, not paying attention to Jaehyun who called out his name in the background. 

He wouldn’t let you use him to get to his brother. 

With that thought, he decided to detour and make his way to the gym, trying to blow off steam by practicing punching, each one getting progressively stronger as his mind replayed the difference in your behaviour when it came to him and his brother. 

It didn’t bother him that his knuckles were bruising, he knew he needed this extrinsic pain to get rid of the obvious hurt he felt each day. 

And he couldn’t understand why he felt so affected by your actions, especially when it was the first time you had met. 

Jealousy was indeed a bitch. 

Chapter 2: Surrendered to the skirt. 

Two days passed by and Jeno’s mood showed no progress in terms of improving, rather, he felt worse each time the memory invaded his brain. He tried his best to sit down and open the first module of the unit he had to study. 

It’s not like he was bad at studying, he was just a bit out of practice, and well, his mental health wasn’t doing much to help him get any better. 

Just when he was about to actually get a hang of getting into the topic, the doorbell rang. His parents were out for business, as usual, and his step brother was busy doing morning shifts, which meant that he was alone at the mansion, minus the myriad of worker staff they had to take care of the place. 

Essentially, he had to get down to see who it was at the door, only to spot you leaning against the doorframe as one of the attendants had asked you to wait. He stopped, observing you from the staircase as you typed something on your phone. 

Why were you here after clearly rejecting him? Why were you here when he’s clearly told you he doesn’t want you to be his tutor?

Scoffing, he walked down the stairs and towards you, standing right in front of you, clearly invading your personal space as he decided to lean against the same side of the thick door frame with his brows raised.

You took a second to take in his appearance as he was clad in casual gray sweatpants with a black tank, which honestly did nothing to hide his muscles. 

“Why are you here?” Jeno asked with a bored tone. 

“I’m here to teach you, remember?” You gave him a pointed look. 

“And I clearly told you I don’t wish to study from you, it’s better if you leave now. I’ll just tell Mrs. Kim that you taught me,” he said, almost turning back to go inside. 

“And have them wondering how you failed even after getting tutored by me? Yeah, I don’t think so,” you shook your head, inviting yourself in without second thoughts. 

“Y/n, I’m not fucking kidding, you should leave. Besides, the one you came for isn’t at home at the moment,” he muttered bitterly. 

That caught your attention, “oh? Busy with a job then?” You asked, looking around the exquisite paintings hung at the entrance of his place. 

“Are you gonna leave or do I have to call the guards to escort you out?”

You chuckled, “you really don’t want the previous year questions I have? The council students get them each year you see, they’re bound to guarantee you good marks,” you explained with a smirk. 

Jeno groaned, his lip bitten as he tried to think if tolerating you would be worth the questions, but his football career was at stake and there was no better option but to accept it. 

“What’s the catch?” Jeno asked after a few seconds, sighing with defeat. 

“Nothing at all. We both know that you need these papers to get the grade that you wanna achieve and I’ll get my extra credits,” you reason. 

“You just wanna meet my brother,” he said dryly, “either way, you won’t get to see a lot of him, he’s always at the hospital, working and being the perfect son he is. Plus, he’s definitely not into uni students,” he looked you up and down, soon gulping and looking elsewhere. 

You were clad in a pretty skirt which showed off your legs—which you did wear in hopes of crossing paths with Jaehyun, but you completely missed how Jeno was staring at your body. 

He wasn’t sure if it was out of hatred that he stared at you, or it was admiration because you were one of those people he despised—overachievers.  

You were in the student council, got good grades and professors favoured you, it wouldn’t be a surprise if your parents loved you for being the ideal daughter. It most certainly didn’t help that your appearance seemed as if you were the sweetest, kindest angel on earth, which wasn’t the case when you were around Jeno though. 

“I’ll manage,” you shrugged, “so, I need your final word, Mr. Lee.”

“I am sure I can find better tutors than you,” he raised his brows, challenging you and you didn’t look fazed at all. 

“I am quite literally the best, professor Kim asked me to tutor you for a reason, besides, no one’s gonna agree to help you out with exams being only one month away,” you made your point, extending your hand for him to finalize his decision. 

Overconfidence. He sighed. 

Jeno stared at your extended hand, thinking of the bigger picture here. He’d get tutoring and would be able to score decent grades if he gets back to his usual routine of studying. 

Downside? He’d have to face you each day. 

Sighing and keeping his feelings in check, he simply nodded, taking your smaller hand into his as he accepted the offer, suddenly aware of the warmth of your palm and how it leaves a tingling feeling behind as you shake his hand firmly with a smirk. 

“So, where are we gonna study?” 

Chapter 3: Silent room, a loud mind. 

Turns out, it’s not that easy to sit down and just teach Jeno. 

Given the amount of classes he had missed, or rather, the amount of classes he had managed to attend, it was clear that he didn’t even have the basic idea of the syllabus for the semester modules. 

Moreover, you had already pissed him off by mentioning how you didn’t expect him to have such a clean and organized room, as if you had already decided that he was going to be a messy human. 

Moving forward, you both sat down next to each other with your laptop open in front of you as you made him write down all the topics he needed to cover for the next month, forming a sort of timetable of a kind. 

It was surprisingly peaceful between you two, as if you both wished to get over with it as soon as possible, behaving as civilly as you could but there was this one thing that Jeno couldn’t stop doing. 

Overthinking. 

It’s the way you looked his way with disappointed and concerned filled eyes whenever he messed up, the way his jaw clenched when you told him to do better, the way he couldn’t help but stare at your glossed up lips as you looked around his room, eyes settling on his childhood pictures which were framed. 

It was also new to him to actually interact with people outside of his football team, especially girls. He couldn’t remember the last time he had talked to one. He wondered what was going on in your mind, he wondered if you were silently judging him through it all.

That’s all what people in his life did anyway. 

“You were cute as a kid, what happened to you now?” You joked, chuckling as you looked his way, only to find his mouth slightly agape.

He hadn’t expected you to say that, and he certainly didn’t want to retort back with something that would ruin his mood, “I grew up to be hot is what happened to me,” he replied smoothly. 

“Oh, so you do know how to joke around,” you raised your brows in surprise. It was indeed the image he had formed over the years. The image of him being nothing more than a rude jock who wouldn’t even reply to someone nicely. 

Now that you were actually interacting with him, you were going to find out how many of the rumors were true about him. 

He only leaned closer at your statement, you could see his muscles flexing as he rested one arm on the table in front of you both, “it’s not a joke, love. I am hot.”

You scoffed at the term of endearment, suddenly aware of his scent now that he was so close to you, “and egoistic too,” you helpfully added. 

“Rightfully so.”

Your childish argument was interrupted that very second as the door to Jeno’s room swung open, revealing the exact man you came to see. 

Jaehyun was smiling, dressed in black slacks and a button up shirt as he welcomed you here, and you were quick to notice Jeno’s mood turning fowl that very second. 

“Thank you so much for coming here, Y/n. Let me send a few snacks and drinks for you both while you study,” he smiled, and you rushed up to stand, not even bothering about the pen that fell down as you did so. 

“Jaehyun,” you walked up to him, much to Jeno’s dismay, “oh, you don’t have to do anything,” you smiled sweetly, and he only shook his head softly, grabbing your arm. 

“Don’t worry about it, just sit and relax, okay?” He squeezed your arm, going downstairs and you sighed with a smile. Even his scent was perfect to you. 

“You done daydreaming?” Jeno asked, deadpanning once his brother had left. 

“You done solving the question?” You retorted. 

He sighed, as if his energy was drained already, “yeah, just check and get this over with,” he said, handing you the binder and looking elsewhere. 

It was probably the first time you actually paid attention to his dejected tone, as if he didn’t have the energy to fight back, and you obviously didn’t wish to irk him more, especially when he looked so frustrated right now. Thankfully, a lot of his answers were indeed correct, which was another surprise to you. 

He was smart, he just simply didn’t wish to study. 

“Something wrong?” He asked, cocking his brow and you blinked, “you’re actually not as dumb as you portray yourself to be,” you mumbled, checking everything thoroughly. 

It should’ve been insulting to Jeno per se, but even the slightest amount of approval was a big thing for him, causing the corner of his lips to curl up. He felt insane, the amount of emotions he felt in a single day was perhaps the reason for the same, courtesy of you. 

He was glad Jaehyun didn’t enter the room again, sending in a servant staff to give you the snacks instead, which maintained the peace throughout the session. 

You couldn’t help but notice how well he concentrated once there was silence in the room, your eyes focused on his hand gripping the pen, making it seem more veiny than it already was. 

Also, you didn’t miss the hint of a smile ghosting his face when you told him he did a good job right before leaving, which made you think of a few things, one being— 

He looked beautiful with a smile. 

Chapter 4: You can’t read my mind, so read my lips. 

As much as Jeno loved the comfort of his room, he really wanted to avoid you bumping into Jaehyun again.

Even the thought of your interactions, your fake sweet smiles, made him wanna punch the wall. Jaehyun really had it easy and Jeno never understood why, it was no joke that Jeno was decent looking as well, talented in his own way, and a kind hearted person who just happened to have a protective wall around him so as to not get hurt any further. 

Which is why you had been tutoring him in the library from the past ten sessions, his own personal request to avoid having privacy with you. 

Heck, even Jeno didn’t know it was his own mind trying to protect him, which is why he couldn’t let anyone in, anyone.  

Which made this situation far from ideal as he had you pressed against the library wall, no distance between you both as you closed your eyes in pure distress. 

“What the actual fuck is he doing here?” Your question was directed more to yourself, which confused Jeno further.

He poked his tongue into his cheek, annoyance creeping through, “what the fuck is going on?” He asked. 

“Shhh, not so loud,” you pressed your palm against his mouth, “just hide me.”

He rolled his eyes, grabbing your wrist effortlessly, pinning it above your head, “you don’t tell me what to do, yeah?” He mumbled, flustering you under his gaze before your eyes travelled back to where you were looking initially. 

He sighed in annoyance, looking back at the direction of your supposed fear. 

Na Jaemin. Another of Jeno’s football teammates. 

“Why are you hiding from Jaemin,” he asked, brow raised as he leaned into you. 

“Ugh,” you groaned, “he’s my ex, he shouldn’t even be in the library, he’s never here!” You were stressed and Jeno smirked devilishly. 

“Fucking hell, you’re the girl he keeps on stalking and crying about?” He chuckled, “let me call him,” he turned away for a second. 

You used your free hand to grab his nape, “don’t fucking move,” you mumbled. 

Perhaps you were too harsh with the grabbing, also not calculating the proximity enough, because Jeno’s nose was brushing against yours, lips close to the point of touching, and a low groan escaping his lips as your name rolls out his tongue in the most angry grunt ever, “what the actual fuck are you doing?” 

“J—just let him leave,” you mumbled, gulping and closing your eyes, his mint breath fanning your face as heat crept up your neck, up till your ears. 

“What will I get out of it,” he asked, his free hand resting on your waist now, “why should I help you?”

“I’m literally helping you study, Jeno,” you seethed out.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” he groaned, making you open your eyes, staring into his deep ones now, suddenly feeling small under his gaze, and well, his body. 

“What?” you asked, looking away to check if Jaemin had left, pushing Jeno away the second you confirmed it. 

Jeno, however, wasn’t having any of it. 

With a scoff and the shake of his head, he grabbed your wrist again, twisting it behind your back, not putting too much pressure so it just hurt but still made it clear how he would not let you go so easily, “you can’t run from me.”

“Let go, I fucking swear—” you let out, squirming around and pushing him, he didn’t budge at all sadly. 

“You do realize I’m a lot stronger than you, right?” He chuckled. 

“Fuck—what do you want me to do?” You rolled your eyes, jaw clenching as you looked at him. 

Before he could answer, your eyes widened in fear yet again as you yanked his arm so forcefully, he had no chance to balance himself, a yelp leaving his mouth as you ran and he was following right after you. 

Jaemin was back and you could just not deal with his ass anymore, hence the overwhelming response. Fight or flight? Flight for sure. Dragging Jeno into it might be a stretch but hey, whatever helped you run away from the gremlin, right? 

“Y/N,” Jeno hissed yet again, once you stopped by your seat, gathering both yours and his belongings scattered across the table from when you were studying a few minutes back, before getting up to find a book, before seeing Jaemin roaming around the halls of the library. 

It was quite amusing to Jeno if he was being honest, a mix of feelings as you grabbed his wrist effortlessly yet again, your eyes set on the exit door leading to the parking lot where Jeno’s Ferrari Purosangue stood proudly. 

“Get in!” You screamed even though you were far from the threat (read: Jaemin) now. 

“That’s my car in case you forgot—”

“Now.” 

“So fucking annoying—” He grumbled, with a small smile playing on his lips. 

You looked so bothered as if you were chased by Ghostface and not Jaemin, even though you probably wouldn’t run away from the prior. It was comical regardless, the long breath you exhaled once you were comfortable on his premium quality car seat, head leaned back fully. 

You opened your eyes after a few seconds only to find Jeno’s eyes on you, face curved into an amused look. You stared at one another for a second, two seconds, three seconds—and he burst out laughing. 

It was probably the first time you saw him laugh like that—so freely, without any care in this world. It was loud but breathless, making his eyes crinkle with small crescents forming, his perfectly aligned pearly teeth showing as he went on, laughing at your disheveled state and crazy response to everything that happened the past twenty minutes. 

You were calm and composed for the most part, it was rare for you to look this frustrated over anything, which came as a surprise to Jeno, the whole situation seemingly pure comedy to him. 

You observed him so carefully, your own lips twitching into a smile and before you knew it, you were laughing alongside him so normally as if two friends were laughing over a joke. 

A weird sort of warmth spread over your body, it made no sense honestly, you were pinned to the wall just a few minutes back and Jeno looked as if he’d burst into flames with his anger, and now he’s laughing at your disheveled, non-composed state. 

Once Jeno caught you staring back at him with glittering eyes, and a little smile, he froze. It was easy for him to come back to his senses (read: put his walls back up) which only made your smile drop too. It was awkward, both of you looking elsewhere while clearing your throats, definitely not something you expected. 

“Uh—sorry about that, yeah,” you mumbled, playing with the loose threat of your sweater sleeve. 

“Yeah, no problem,” he retorted, turning the car engine on to start driving. 

Why was it awkward? Because you laughed together like two absolutely normal individuals? Because you had Jeno pinning you to the wall to avoid your ex? 

Or because you almost kissed. Almost. 

 The ride back to your apartment was silent, no songs playing in the car, just the small buzz of engine, and the nail tapping on the screen of your phone—to avoid any kind of conversation happening, also clearly missing out on how Jeno glanced at you every few seconds, the speed of his thoughts running faster than his own car. 

“I’ll—see you tomorrow then?” Your voice cracked as you said so, wincing slightly at your own tone. 

Jeno was about to chuckle again, yet he covered it with a low cough as he mumbled a yes, as you opened the door once he stopped in front of your apartment. 

That’s it, you were leaving, and his eyes didn’t leave you till you disappeared into the apartment. 

He gripped the steering wheel tighter, groaning as he banged his head into it, a low horn sound only frustrating him further. It was hard for him to drive after, the scene of you being so vulnerable yet glaring at him like a scared little vixen trying to look brave, replayed in his mind. 

No, he couldn’t drive, couldn’t focus on the road anymore, stopping the car at a random parking lot of a fast food chain, grabbing his phone to pull up Instagram, specifically Jaemin’s account. 

He didn’t have to scroll much to find the picture he was looking for—his teammate, Jaemin, standing right next to you with his arm resting on your waist. Jeno didn’t know why that picture left a bitter taste in his mouth all of a sudden, knowing well how badly Jaemin fucked up when he cheated on you. 

And now the asshole is running after you again. 

You didn’t deserve that, you deserve someone better—someone perfect like you. 

He went back, not having it in him to look at the picture again, instead, going to your account now. It looked professional, all your posts being highly calculative to make your feed look pleasing. Your highlights, however, had this one particular picture—a picture of you smiling without a care in the world, so raw, so genuine, so beautiful. 

Beautiful. 

Jeno thought you looked beautiful, and it made him angry. 

He was angry—because deep down, he desired to be the reason for your smile. 

Chapter 5: Pretty in pink, but my head’s in the dark. 

Jeno made you smile. 

You did know that laugh was contagious, however, you didn’t think you’d actually give in to Jeno’s sweet chuckles. 

Sleep didn’t come to you easy when the constant reminder of the study session poked the back of your mind, not to mention what happened in the library earlier, where you and Jeno almost kissed—

No. 

You shook your head. Such niche experiences never falter you, so why was this such a big deal? 

Another groan left your mouth, but alas, your body was relaxed enough to sleep so you woke up energetic the next day. It felt oddly friendly when you saw Jeno at the University, and he threw a two finger salute your way, you waved back before going your way. 

“You’re zoned out, again.” Karina, one of your classmates, pointed out and you sighed as she rambled about how you needed to let some guy in, quite literally, to blow off some steam, which you clearly weren’t doing, hence the stuck up energy. 

Being descriptive about it didn’t help either—yet another reminder of how Jeno’s body was pressed against yours this hour, yesterday. 

Heat crept up your neck, urging you to pack up and leave the room. It was hot, stuffy almost for you to do anything, which is why you found yourself studying at the empty seat of the University park. 

You had to face him again, of course, there was no escape to that, and as if the universe was testing you, the time passed by way too quickly for your liking and soon, you found yourself standing in front of the main door of Jeno’s place. 

Before you could even ring the bell, the door opened to a huffing Jeno, almost as if he ran downstairs, but how did he know—

“Hey,” he whispered, looking around. 

He didn’t wait for your reply, simply grabbing your wrist and dragging you inside, your skin burning at the unexpected touch, but you didn’t shake him off of you, only asking in a low tone, “what are you doing?” 

“Shh,” Jeno mumbled, as though he was trying to avoid someone, or rather, trying to hide you from someone. His efforts were futile, however, once he heard that stern voice of his mother booming through the walls of his mansion. 

Now you get why Jeno was in a hurry, the look on her face had a chill going down your spine. 

You felt Jeno stiffen alongside you, his hold on your wrist now tighter, uncontrollably so. 

“You must be the new tutor for Jeno,” she said, scrutinizing every bit of your existence, Jeno’s jaw clenched at her unwavering gaze. 

“Yes ma’am, It’s a pleasure meeting you,” you tried to say, only for her to cut you off. 

“Trust me, darling. There must be no pleasure in helping Jeno, but I do hope he learns a thing or two from you—you look like a smart young lady, hopefully, a positive influence on him.” 

You looked at her with your mouth open slightly, not believing the sight in front of you. No mother should look down on their children like that, ever. 

“Mrs. Jung, I hope we’re talking about the same Jeno because he is amazing at studies, he grasps concepts faster than I do, and then I believe I’m the one who’s learning from him right now!” You smiled, full of enthusiasm, feeling Jeno’s hand dropping down from your wrist. 

“In fact, I’ve never seen anyone play football so perfectly while also being so brilliantly academically smart, I firmly believe his grades will shock you this time. Now, if you’ll excuse us, it’s time for our tutoring session.”

You passed her a small smile, the shock clear on her face, before grabbing Jeno’s hand and taking him along with you—to his room. You didn’t look back, simply closing the door as you breathed out with a pissed expression. 

Jeno’s heart was beating fast, he wasn’t sure if he had words to speak at this moment, so staring at you was all he could do. 

You spoke for him. 

You defended him. 

No one’s ever done that, no one cared enough to understand, moreover, it didn’t help how you looked angrier than him at the situation. 

“W—Why?” Jeno couldn’t keep his voice in check, “you didn’t have to—say all that.”

That’s when you turned around, facing him. All your anger disappeared once you focused on his face, so vulnerable, so confused, so desperate to know your answer. 

“Jeno,” the gentleness in your voice only made him gulp and look down at the floor, “I hope you don’t believe a word she says, because that’s not true,” you spoke, inching closer. 

You were not one who was good at making people feel better, Jeno of all people at that, however, this gave you an insight of why Jeno is the way he is—closed off, hence the lack of words from your side, but you knew you had to say it. 

That’s the thing, we judge people too quickly, you always had snarky remarks for him, not knowing how deep they cut him. He looked shaken right now, traumatized, especially because you experienced a part of his life which he never wanted to share with anybody. 

“Jeno, you’re doing so well, you know that right?” You whispered, as genuine as possible, your fingers grabbing his own, which made him look up at you finally. 

He was shaken, not from his mother’s words—he was used to them—but from yours. 

“No one’s ever said that,” he spoke so silently, you almost missed it. You held his hand tight—being almost angrier than him while answering his mom back—he isn’t sure if he’ll ever be over that. 

Jeno didn’t realize his eyes were glistening. 

“What?” You breathed out. 

He gulped yet again, jaw clenched now as he struggled to get his words out, the floor being the most interesting thing to him, “defended me. No one’s done that.”

“I—is that why you hate Jaehyun? Because people only see him?” You asked, wincing at the question when you saw him stiffen again, a sharp pang in your chest once he brushed your hand off of his. 

“Don’t. Don’t fucking go there.”

“I didn’t mean—” 

“Oh I fucking know what you mean. Everyone sees him fuck—you see him, because he’s perfect, right? That’s what he is, perfect,” he seethed out, “you don’t know what it’s like—to live in someone’s shadow,” there was a flash of pain in his eyes. 

You stayed mum, letting him speak. 

“Every place, every room, every fucking person just sees him,” he muttered, “I need to better, but it’s never enough, because he already did it—Jaehyun did it better. You look at him the same way as others do, and me? The afterthought—the failure.”

Your heart broke a little, guilt settling in because unknowingly, you fueled the same anger and trauma for him. 

“Jeno,” you mumbled, “you’re not a failure.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I’m starting to,” you spoke, and he looked up, “and thank god you’re not Jaehyun,” you chuckled, fingers ghosting near his jaw, your touch featherlight, making him suck in a deep breath. 

“Why?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper, eyes hopeful, which scared him. 

“Because you’re real, you don’t fake your emotions. You don’t smile at somebody who you don’t care about, you get angry, messy, you let yourself be shown how you are,” you lip twitched slightly as you said so, your own heartbeat rose at the sentences you so easily uttered, “that’s what makes you a human, Jeno, a human who’s trying his best, which is what matters.”

He blinked. 

He wanted to speak, but he couldn’t, simply leaning into your touch with his eyes closed. 

“You’re you, the stupid jock who’s not scared of anything, yeah?” You tried to make him smile, which helped as you saw his lips curving up. 

Midway through your sentences, you genuinely questioned yourself about why you even like Jaehyun, it was honestly just your mind playing games with you. 

“You scare me,” he muttered. 

“Why?”

“Because you say things so convincingly, it makes me wanna believe you.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Just—don’t say it when you don’t mean it.”

“I do,” you said in a breath, his eyes on yours now, more intense than ever, “I mean every word.”

He stared a little longer, staring at you unamused as if you’d laugh in his face right this second. You didn’t. 

“You’re serious,” he said, voice hoarse. 

You nodded softly. 

Jeno took a single step forward, the air around you so tight, it felt like a rubber band stretched to its max, on the verge of snapping back. 

You inhaled sharply once Jeno’s cold hand brushed the hair on your shoulder, grazing against your bare skin, moving up your nape. 

“Do you have any idea what you just said to me?” He murmured, eyes locked on yours, turning you around easily to pin you against the wall—something he liked to do, apparently. 

“Tell me,” you mumbled. 

If someone told you two days back that you’d be in Jeno’s room, calming him down before getting into a compromising position with him, you would have laughed in their faces. It was reality for you now, something that made you feel so unconventionally flustered. 

The way he brushed his thumb along your jaw, slow and deliberate, made you shiver, “you’re making me forget that i’m supposed to hate this—feeling anything.” 

You were hanging on the last bit of your sanity, drowning in Jeno’s scent, his nose brushing against your cheek, hand gripping your waist, heat radiating off of your body. 

“Jeno—”

“Say it again,” he whispered. 

“Say what?” You breathed. 

“That you’re glad I’m not him.”

You chuckled under his hold, your voice still shaking, “I’m so glad—so fucking glad you’re not him.” 

His breath sounded like a curse, lips hovering a breath above yours, you could feel his hesitation against your skin. He wasn’t sure if he had the right to touch someone as perfect as you, yet you didn’t stop him, the space in between you was so tight, it might as well elicit electricity. 

You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t blink, only leaning into his touch, resting your hand over the top of his on your jaw. The touch was faint, yet you could feel it everywhere. 

You held your breath as he leaned in—

Knock. 

Jeno swore under his breath as you flinched, it physically hurt him to step back. 

“Jeno?” Of course, it was Jaehyun who had to interrupt you two. 

Your hands trembled as Jeno moved to the door, and you quickly turned towards the desk, rushing to sit down, pretending that nothing had happened—that you didn’t almost kiss Jeno a few seconds back. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, eyes furious with a hint of daze in them. “Yeah?” His voice came out strained as he asked Jaehyun through the door. 

“Mom wants to talk to you,” He said.

“Be right down,” he answered, shaking his head, staring at your way one last time, holding eye contact for a second, letting you see just how much he hated this situation, veins popping in his neck.

Then he opened the door, closing it behind him and disappearing from your eyesight. 

You stayed there, overwhelmed, lips tingling, pulse racing. 

A truth burned your skin in an excruciating pain. 

If he had kissed you, you wouldn’t have stopped him. 

Chapter 6: I can go from A to Z, but U is what I want. 

Jeno hadn’t texted you all night. 

Not that you waited, except, you did. 

He never came back to the room after Jaehyun called him out, you waited, till you couldn’t anymore and had to rush out before your mind drove you to the edge of insanity. 

So you grabbed your bag, rushing to the first place you thought of—the courtyard behind the Science block. It was calm, no student in sight, thankfully. 

Your five minutes of calm ended a second too quickly, a voice calling out your name in its full glory. You cursed the universe for treating you like this and you didn’t have to turn around to figure out who it was.

Jaemin. 

“I gotta admit, I didn’t peg you to fall for the broken type.” He stepped out smiling as insane as a villain who hasn’t moved on does. 

“Still stalking me?” You rolled your eyes, “get a fucking job.”

“I call it being invested,” he smirked, shoving hands in his pockets, “it’s honestly a downgrade, going from me to Jeno.”

“Not again,” you muttered, grabbing your book which you had just taken out. 

“I mean, trading me for Jeno?” Voice full of pity. 

“As if you were an option, Jaemin,” you turned sharply. 

That shut him up for half a second.

“I just don’t get it,” he said, voice colder now. “He’s always angry, I was angry, I made you feel something, can he say the same?”

Your head was hurting by now, as you mumbled yet another shut up, only to be stopped by Jaemin as he grabbed your arm. 

“What? He’s the angry, tortured type. You’re into hopeless projects now?”

“I’m into honesty,” you snapped, “something you don’t offer.”

“What does he have that I don’t?”

“Self awareness maybe,” a voice came from behind you, low, cold, almost lethal. 

Jeno was here. 

“Let go of her,” he said, dead-eyed, he was ready to snap. 

And Jaemin did, a scoff leaving his mouth before he smirked, “great, speak of the devil.”

Jeno raised his brow, “you done?”

Jaemin chuckled, “not even close.”

You sighed, “of course not,” this day couldn’t get worse. 

“You really think this is love or whatever?” He said, looking at Jeno but his words were directed to you instead, “he’s gonna burn you someday, and you’re gonna let him.” 

Oh god, you were not having any of this, why was this conversation even happening? It made absolutely no sense. 

Jeno moved faster this time, but you blocked his chest with your arms, “enough,” you said sharply. 

“Ask him to leave.” Jeno said, voice low. 

“Jaemin, just leave,” you said, turning to him. 

But he didn’t, and so Jeno did, shoving past you as you rolled your eyes, Jaemin’s sinister smile only widening, getting so close to him, he had to lean back slightly. 

“Don’t test me, and don’t come near her again, or else I won’t be this patient.” Jeno spoke. 

“Aw? You’re gonna hit me in front of her, Jeno?”

“I don’t need to, she already cut you deeper than I ever could.” 

Jaemin blinked, clenching his jaw, before turning to you, maintaining eye contact, “she’s not your girl, Jeno.”

“You don’t know that,” he gritted his teeth. 

“You’ll come back,” Jaemin’s jaw ticked as he said so. 

“Hold your breath until I do,” you replied.

That was it, he left. It wasn’t silent, nor dramatic, but with enough tension to let you know that he will be coming back. 

Once he was gone, you shoved Jeno, hard. 

“The fuck was that?”

“What? I came here trying to find you, only to witness you talking to him.”

“I didn’t want it to happen either, but the world hates me,” you mumbled, grabbing your bag and walking away with Jeno following you behind. 

“I fucking hate that he still gets to talk to you, why does he have access to you?” His voice rose and you prayed no one would hear him, thankfully this area was empty. 

“He doesn’t, and why do you even care?” You asked, with distress clear on your face, “pretending like I mean something to you in front of Jaemin is just as worse, Jeno.” 

“I—”

“No, you won’t even talk about last night, as if it didn’t happen,” you snapped and he froze, “you didn’t even come back to your room.”

His silence was your answer, and you knew this conversation wasn’t gonna go any further, Jeno couldn’t do that—he was scared of opening up, and he was scared of answering those questions, so even though you were hurting on the inside, you let him be. 

“Tomorrow, library, at five. Be on time.” You mumbled, leaving him behind you. 

“Fuck—fuck!” Jeno punched the wall next to him. He didn’t want you to go—the first person who ever tried to understand him, took his side, defended him. He was beyond scared of letting his guard down, so he groaned, sliding down the wall. 

“How do I even tell you I want you?”

Chapter 7: I stayed, even when it was easier to run.

The library was too quiet for how loud your mind was. The sound of your pen dragging across the paper felt almost intrusive as you tried to finish your assignment. 

It had been three nights since the library fiasco. 

Two nights since the almost kiss. 

One night since the blow up with Jaemin.

You almost didn’t wish to come here, yet here you were, with the sample test papers ready, clad in your little black skirt, a cardigan too loose for you, waiting for Jeno to show up—hoping he would. 

The clock ticked. He was a solid nineteen minutes late now, another minute and you’ll get up to leave. That’s when you heard the lazy footsteps approaching your side, the farthest corner of the library. You expected him to sit in front of you, yet he opted to sit right next to you, so close you could feel the fabric of his jeans brushing against your thigh. He took a seat without permission, like he had the right to be, like nothing had happened. 

He came in like guilt personified, shoulders hunched, hoodie loose, hair an unbrushed mess of indecision. And when he saw you?

He hesitated.

You didn’t look up, simply sliding him the sheet of questions to solve, the air around you turned weighted. His pen scratched, your leg bounced, you sipped water and he watched the corner of your mouth, practically burning holes into you. 

It was unbearable. 

This tension—it’s not a war but there’s rarely ever any peace. Catherine and Heathcliff reincarnated, except you weren’t on a moor, you were in a library, trying not to fall apart across the wooden study table. 

Just yesterday, he burned through Jaemin like jealousy was oxygen. 

He couldn’t stop staring, yet he solved the questions for forty minutes, sliding the sheet back to you for checking, expecting some sort of conversation now, anything, even a little hum of acknowledgement from your side, but none of it happened. 

He watched you scribble your pen over the margin, circling a few things, ticking the others, lip bitten in concentration. He observed you so intensely, how your eyes flicked across his answer sheet, but you didn’t look his way, not even once. 

“You won’t even talk to me now?” He asked, keeping his voice in check. 

“Four answers wrong, you did pretty well, can do better still,” you mumbled, passing him the paper. 

“Y/N,” he sighed, tired, he was afraid of this happening—letting you down, and that’s exactly what he did. Running away from his problems was what Jeno always did, he wasn’t perfect, he knows it, but he wants to try and be better, better for you. 

“You came late,” you said, still not looking up. 

“I didn’t sleep last night,” he exhaled, jaw clenched. 

“Not my problem,” you retorted. 

“I was thinking.”

“You should study instead.”

“You hate me now, huh?” Jeno leaned forward, voice flat. 

You blinked. The question hit out of nowhere.

“I don’t hate you,” you replied carefully. “But I don’t know how to deal with you either.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“No, Jeno. It’s the truth. And that’s more than you’ve been giving me.”

He looked at you then, really looked—eyes narrowed, jaw tight, like he was keeping a war behind his teeth. His eyes were empty, yet so full of you. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” he said, quietly. “I don’t know how to be—good at this, with you.”

“And yet you’re good at disappearing. You’re good at leaving me hanging like none of it mattered.”

You weren’t yelling. You didn’t need to. Your disappointment was louder than any raised voice.

Jeno sat back in his chair, breathing shallow. “You kissed me back.”

Your throat tightened, “you didn’t kiss me at all.”

“Exactly,” he muttered. “Because I would’ve ruined it. Ruined you.”

You shook your head slowly. “No, Jeno. You didn’t kiss me because you’re scared of how much you want to.”

His hands balled into fists. “And you’re not?”

“We’re not talking about me.” You looked away. 

He scoffed, turning to look at you fully, leaning in with his hand now resting on your thigh, burning the skin with his touch. 

“You want honesty, huh? So here it is—I’ve been thinking about you, about everything that’s happened in the past few days, no one’s ever messed with my mind so much and it fucking scares me. You’re messing me up—”

You couldn’t hear more, not when he was so close, not when he poured his heart out to you. Nothing about you two was normal, even your heartbeat was synced with how abnormally high they were. 

“Shh,” you mumbled, covering his mouth with your palm, and even the rude gesture calmed him down—your touch calmed him down. 

“You have an exam tomorrow.” You said and he stared, “study, pass the exam, and we’ll talk, yeah?”

He blinked, almost as if you showed him mercy, and gave him a chance to do something, to prove that he’s worthy of being near you. His scholarship, football, future—everything was at stake, but did he care? No. He cared about not letting you down. He wanted to prove himself to you. 

“You—you promise?” He asked, gripping the extra sheets and notes you passed his way.

You nodded, eyes softer now. You didn’t wanna hurt Jeno, you could see just how hard he tried to fight with his demons, but this time, you wanted him to win.

“I’ll be waiting.” 

You turned to leave then, leaving Jeno with his thoughts as he watched you leave, eyes on your legs. He gulped, looking back to the paper to find a line scribbled in your handwriting. 

You already know the answer, you’re just afraid of getting it wrong. 

It wasn’t about the question, it was about him. 

He just wanted to be worthy enough to stand in front of you and say I didn’t fuck this up this time. So he started, he worked all night, solved as many sample problems as he could, everything felt like a punch in the gut but he couldn’t give up, not this time. 

Jeno couldn’t sleep at night, 

I’ll be waiting. 

That’s what you told him, and he was looking forward to it, because for the very first time in his life, someone wasn’t waiting for him to fail. 

He woke up before his alarm had the chance to ring, didn’t care about his mother’s remark on how he woke up on time for once, or how Jaehyun gave him a long, unreadable look. Jeno didn’t react, he had bigger problems to tackle today. 

You were just as restless as him if not more, checking your phone every few minutes as if you’d get any text from Jeno. He must be busy studying, you hope that was the case. 

He walked into the exam hall calm, focused, terrified. He didn’t skip questions. He didn’t zone out.

He solved the final problem two minutes before time and rechecked every line like his life was hidden in the margins.

When he walked out of that room, his shirt clinging to the back of his neck from sweat, his palms aching from gripping the pen too hard—he knew. He’d done it. Or at least, he hoped he did. 

Yet, he didn’t text you, he wouldn’t until he got the results. 

Chapter 8: Jealousy is but a red thread around my throat. 

You waited, not loud, but silently. 

Two whole days, you held your breath, even planned on visiting the football practice to just get a glimpse of Jeno, yet you couldn’t muster enough courage to do so. God, you were so affected by everything he did, and this felt so very suffocating, waiting on someone. You knew what you felt, there was no point in denying it, however, you couldn’t figure out how it happened, so quickly at that. 

Heck, even Jaemin was more present in your chat inbox, even though you never replied to him, it just made you wonder if your time with Jeno was just a hoax. 

Did you imagine it all? 

On the other hand, on the other side of the city, sitting in a dim room with sunlight pouring in, Jeno was drowning in darkness. 

The exam portal was open in front of him, he refreshed the page every two seconds, not being able to sit still. His hands were shaking, not from fear but from want.  From the feeling of your voice telling him that you’ll talk to him once he proves himself. 

He gave up the wait, the result wasn’t out the whole day. It was three in the morning when the notification woke him up like a jolt. 

Results were out. 

He rushed to check it, the numbers stunning him as his jaw hung open. 

83%

Not perfect. But more than enough.

Enough to pass. Enough to stay on the team.

Enough to say, Look. I did it. I’m not a fuck-up. The first thing he thought of was you. So he typed—just two words.

Jeno: I passed.

Because he didn’t know how to say what he really wanted to—I passed, and all I could think about was your voice. I passed, and I still don’t feel whole unless you tell me you’re proud. I passed, and it’s not enough if I can’t show you.

Your reply came back six minutes later.

You: I knew you would. 

It was soft, gentle. But was it enough for Jeno? No. It should’ve been enough, but it wasn’t. 

He didn’t reply, he didn’t text you again. He opted to skip the lectures for the day and stay in his room, blinds closed, only darkness consuming him. 

You knew it was hard for Jeno, you knew you shouldn’t wait for his reply or him approaching you—he was too scared to do that, which is exactly why you grabbed your bag and went to his place the first thing in the morning. Maybe Jeno needed time, but you had to check. 

You rang the bell, your heart pounding as you did so, expecting Jeno to open up and see you. Once the door opened, your pulse stuttered. 

Jaehyun. 

Of course, it had to be him. 

“Y/N,” he said your name smoothly, “didn’t know you were coming by.”

You hesitated with a small chuckle, exhaling the breath you were holding, “is Jeno home?” 

He nodded, stepping aside to let you in, “yeah, he’s in his room, didn’t come out this morning at all.”

“Oh,” you said softly, wondering if he was alright. 

There was a pause, an awkward silence after that, you felt heavy, wanting to go upstairs but you weren’t sure if you were allowed to. 

Jaehyun closed the door behind you. “He’s been off since the results,” he said, voice low. “I thought passing would help, but I don’t know. He kind of shut down again after telling us he passed.”

You gulped, chest tightened at the revelation. 

“I came to check up on him, I’m not sure if he wants to meet though.”

“He’d want to see you.” Jaehyun said, smiling sincerely, “you’re good for him.”

Your eyes widened at that, “I’m not sure he thinks that.” You tried to smile, “can I go to his room?”

“He locked the door, I think he’s sleeping,” Jaehyun said apologetically. 

“I don’t wanna bother him.” You smiled sadly, “those are good pictures,” you mumbled, looking at the wall full of frames, particularly the ones with Jeno in them.

“Yeah, I took most of those,” Jaehyun replied with another smile, he knew you wanted to talk to Jeno so he suggested something, “Maybe if you take him something to eat? I can give the breakfast he skipped—”

“Oh no, I can run to the bakery and get something—”

Then you noticed a movement in your peripheral vision, you turned around to find Jeno. He was standing down the hall, his fluffy hair a mess, eyes wide as if he didn’t expect you to be here—especially with Jaehyun. 

“Hey,” you breathed out. 

No reply. 

“Y—you didn’t reply, I came to see you,” you tried speaking again. 

However, his expression didn’t change and suddenly, you felt like you shouldn’t have come here at all. He was frozen even when you said you wanted to make sure he was okay. Then he came back to his senses, clearing his throat. 

Jaehyun left the room, letting you two be alone. 

“Why didn’t you ask for me?” He whispered, just sadness in his voice. 

“I did, that’s what I came for,” you tried to explain.

Jeno stared at you, he was so broken inside he couldn’t let himself believe it. You dressed up, all pretty, your eyes so soft, your lips turning into a pout of disappointment. You looked perfect, and you came here for Jeno? He just could not believe it. 

“You were talking to him,” Jeno said, referring to Jaehyun, his voice broken. 

“He opened the door, what can I do?” You shook your head, trying to explain, “you didn’t even text back, Jeno.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he replied, “I’ve never done this before. I’ve never had someone wait for me and mean it.”

Your lips parted to reply but he wasn’t done. 

“You said you’d talk to me after the exam,” he went on, voice sharper now, “but when you showed up, you let him open the door. You let him tell you how I was.”

“I didn’t—” your voice faltered, “I didn’t come for him.”

“Didn’t look that way.”

That hurt. You flinched. “Jeno, why are you doing this?” 

“Because I waited for you,” he snapped. “I sat in that room like a fucking idiot thinking you’d come to see me. Not make small talk with my brother or compliment his photography.”

“You heard that?” You froze, it wasn’t your intention to do any of that. 

“I heard everything, every second you spent without taking my name,” he said. 

Just like that—he hurt you. Every conversation was about Jeno, every single one. He just couldn’t see it. 

“I thought I was getting better,” he admitted, quieter now. “I thought passing the exam would mean something. That it would be enough.”

“It was,” you whispered. “Jeno, it is. I am proud of you.”

“Then why didn’t it feel like it?” His voice broke on that line. He ran a hand through his hair, pacing a step away, then back, like his own body was a prison.

You stood frozen. Every word hit somewhere different.

“I wanted you to come,” he said, softer now. “Not to check in. Not to ask if I’d eaten. I wanted you to come for me. Just for me. You don’t get it, Y/N.”

“No,” you stepped forward. “You don’t get it. You think everything is about being chosen or abandoned. But not everyone’s trying to leave you, Jeno. Sometimes people show up. But you keep slamming the door in their face.”

He turned away. “Then go.”

“I came for you.” You said one last time, your eyes watering, not being able to contain the hurt you held in them. 

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have.”

That one landed like a punch.

Your mouth opened. Then closed. You nodded. Just once.

“Fine.”

You turned.

And you left.

And this time, he didn’t stop you.

Chapter 9: I know that I’m hard to read, but you got me here to stay 

You spent most of your morning crying alone in your student council room, but it just wasn’t enough, not when you were being wronged every second of the day, not when the person you wanted kept running away from you no matter how hard you tried. At least you did. 

You couldn’t run away though, you had an important meeting with your council at six in the evening, by that time, you had done everything to make yourself look normal again, but your mind was entirely elsewhere, in another realm, a realm where things were different. 

Jeno, on the other hand, left his room as soon as he realized how wrong everything had gone. All afternoon his own words replayed in his mind, how he asked you to leave and how you left a single tear drop on the floor before you turned around and left. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have.

It felt like biting into something rotten, saying that out loud to you. Like watching the one and the only thing he wanted turn and walk away. You didn’t yell back, you didn’t beg, you went still, and left. He saw you leave—he made you leave. 

And he let you go anyway. Because that’s what he did. Because pushing people away was easier than asking them to stay.

Until now.

Now he was pacing in his room like a caged animal, hoodie still damp, heart in his throat. He kept hearing your voice in the hallway. Kept seeing your face. Kept remembering the way you reached for him and he didn’t reach back.

His chest felt tight, his limbs tense. He couldn’t stay here, not in this house, not knowing you might never come back.

He had to find you.

So he ran. He ran to the courtyard, not caring about the rain pour, soaking him up from head to toe. You weren’t in the library, not in the council room, the classrooms were empty. He was panicking. 

That’s when he heard a voice, turning around the corner of the athletic department, he walked straight into one of his football teammates he couldn’t stand at all—Minjae, a loud-mouthed asshole, smiling like a madman. 

“Fucking hell, Lee Jeno, you look like shit.” He grinned. 

Jeno didn’t answer, he was in a hurry, he had to find you, to make things right with you, he was about to push past Minjae when—

“Oh, by the way,” he smirked, “Jaemin told us a lot about how you finally landed his ex, the pretty goody two shoes, Y/N.”

Jeno froze, jaw clenched at the mention of you and Jaemin in the same sentence, coming from an asshole at that. 

“Didn’t think you’d have a go at someone like her. She seems to like guys who have more brains than biceps.” He laughed at his own joke. 

“The fuck did you just say?” 

Minjae laughed. “Chill, man. I’m just saying—props to you, seriously. Girl like that? All polished and pretty and loyal? I mean, not that it’ll last. Girls like that don’t stay with guys like us. She’ll figure it out eventually.”

Jeno’s vision turned black.

“Say that again,” he said, voice like static.

Minjae raised his hands. “Relax. You don’t need to get all—”

The punch landed before he could finish.

Minjae hit the ground hard, water splashing up from the impact, the rain pouring down heavier now. He tried to shove Jeno back, but to no avail as he bent down, his fist colliding with Minjae’s jaw again.  

Jeno wasn’t fighting Minjae per se, he was fighting every single voice that told him he wasn’t enough, that he could never live up to his brother, that he could never be with someone as perfect as you. That’s what he believed too, till you actually became real for him. 

His mind was elsewhere when he took a blow to his jaw, lip bleeding now, Jeno stumbled but scoffed before punching him again, and again, till his knuckles were shredded, a throbbing in his jaw which almost felt like fire. 

It was only when someone pulled him off of Minjae, Jeno stopped, spitting out blood in the rain slick grass. Everything hurt, but not as much as his burning chest. 

“Are you insane?” Someone yelled his way, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jeno didn’t bother answering, pulling out his phone and rushing away, typing out texts to you. 

Jeno: where are you? please say something i’m so fucking sorry Y/N i didn’t mean it  i didn’t mean any of it i swear Y/N please 

No response. His messages were just there, unread, and unanswered. He simply didn’t know why. 

He didn’t know how you had been in the private meeting room for the past hour, student council prep being a whole scheduling disaster, handling arguments about clubs and their out-of-the-worldly budget demands. 

You were half awake at best, distracted by the storm that brewed outside. Your phone vibrates once, then again, and when you finally pull it out to check the numerous missed calls—your screen goes dark. Perfect, just on the day you didn’t bring your charger or powerbank. 

The feeling in your gut—it wasn’t good, which is why you excused yourself mid meeting, something you never do, to rush back home. You were soaked as you ran to your apartment, close to the University, thankfully. You plugged your phone in to charge as you rushed to take a shower, hoping the hot water would soothe your nerves. It didn’t. 

You kept thinking about Jeno, about the fight at his place earlier, how he asked you to leave with the saddest look in his eyes, and how badly it hurt you. You were out of the shower in fifteen minutes, toweling your hair with one hand and rushing to check your phone with the other, not expecting a myriad of notifications. 

17 Missed calls. 

6 Voicemails. 

26 Unread texts. 

The last of which made your blood run cold. 

Jeno: Y/N please  i’m outside 

You rushed to the front door, and he was there—leaning against the wall beside your entrance, hoodie clinging to him, hair wet and plastered to his forehead, eyes closed and him wincing like he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. Like it hurts too much to exist. Hands bruised, lip split, and he opened his eyes—bloodshot, glassy. 

“Jeno,” you gasped out loud, “w—what happened?” You said, going close to him. 

“I tried to find you,” he said, voice wrecked, “I tried but I couldn’t, I thought that maybe you blocked me.”

“No—I was in a meeting and my phone died, god I’m so sorry—fuck, come inside.” You shook your head in distress.

“Y/N,” he groaned, and you gently helped him when he didn’t move, like he wasn’t allowed to, “I fucked up.”

“Shh, come inside, it’s cold,” you whispered and he nodded after a moment of hesitation. You tried to be calm, you tried to take control of the situation for once and he listened, this time he did when you took him to your room. 

You didn’t ask how this happened to him, only guiding him to the bathroom, “you’re soaked and bleeding, take a shower, i’ll put your clothes in the wash and dryer.”

He opened his mouth to say otherwise, but you didn’t let him, grabbing a fresh towel and handing it to him. 

“Are you sure you want me here?” He asked, vulnerable. 

“I wouldn’t have opened the door otherwise, Jeno, I do.”

He nodded, swallowing hard as he disappeared into the bathroom without another word and you worked your washing machine and dryer, sitting down right after, exhaling and letting your guard down, hands shaking with worry. 

You were glad Jeno was taking his sweet time inside, because you had no clue how to go on with this situation. Jeno stalling coming out simply because he was ashamed, also consumed in how good your shampoo smells. He was at your place, in your bathroom, all bloodied up, why? Because he couldn’t be normal for once and let you in. 

His walls came crashing down each time you came closer to him, but this time, he didn’t want them to go back up the second he touched you, this time, he wanted you inside with him. 

His clothes were dry very soon and you kept them in your room, waiting outside by the sofa, letting him come out all dressed up. The water stopped soon, the door creaking as he came out, and you were sitting on the sofa, hair still wet. 

Then Jeno opened the door, you stood up at the noise, and he looked your way in a silent plea to ask you if he could sit next to you, and you nodded. He held up the bloodied towel, “I’m sorry,” he whispered, and you smiled softly, taking it away from him. 

The silence was too loud after as you both sat next to each other, you waited for him to say something, waited for the reality of tonight to settle in—to make sense, to stop trembling beneath your skin. And then he spoke as you took out your medicine kit, gently grabbing his hand to take a look at his bruised knuckles. 

“Y/N,” he took your name as if it was the only thing he knew. 

He watched you kneel in front of him, your eyes not angry, just steady, quiet, and unbearably kind. His fingers trembled in yours, you gently pulled the sleeve back, pressing a warm damp cloth to the wounds, making him wince slightly at the contact. 

“Sorry,” you breathed out. 

“I deserve worse,” he breathed back. 

“No, you don’t,” you said, looking up at him. 

He laughed under his breath, “why are you so kind to me? I don’t deserve it, Y/N.”

“You don’t get to decide what I give you, Jeno,” you replied, “you’re bleeding, again.”

“Not my first time.”

You gripped him tighter, “and that’s supposed to make it better?”

“No,” he said, voice low, “just means I’m good at it by now.”

You didn’t answer. Just ripped the antiseptic packet open a little more forcefully than necessary and pressed it to the bruised line of his knuckles. He flinched.

“Good,” you muttered. “Means you still feel something.”

“God, Y/N—”

“No,” you snapped, trying your best to act normal but you both were far from that, “not yet.”

You cleaned the split in his skin with the kind of precision that only comes from anger—controlled, careful, but deeply furious.

“You don’t get to act like none of this mattered,” you said, eyes locked on his wounds. “You don’t get to disappear into your guilt and then show up bleeding and say I didn’t know where else to go. That’s not enough.”

His jaw clenched. “I didn’t come for a reward.”

“Good,” you said coldly. “Because you’re not getting one.” You wrapped gauze around his hand slowly, tight enough that it would sting.

He didn’t pull away.

“I came because I thought I’d lose you,” he said through his teeth, “I came because I’m fucking terrified that I already did.”

“Who’s fault is that?” You said, standing up, “you keep doing this thing, you pull me in, let me see you and then the very second it gets real, you shut the door in my face.”

“I know,” he said. Loud. Frustrated. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t see the way you look at me when I say the wrong thing? Like you’re trying so fucking hard not to walk away?”

“You told me to go!”

“I didn’t mean it!”

“Then don’t say it!” You shouted, “don’t look at me like I’m everything one second and then act like I mean nothing the next!”

“I didn’t think you’d stay.”

“I stayed!”

You were both breathing hard now. Staring at each other like you didn’t know whether to cry or kiss or throw something, You still stood in between Jeno’s legs, him looking up at you.  Jeno ran a hand through his damp hair, pacing a few feet before turning back to you, eyes wide and glassy.

“I ruin things,” he said, “I always have. I don’t know how to love something without fucking it up. But I wanted you anyway—I still do.”

Your throat tightened. “And I’m supposed to what? Carry all of that? Be your exception?”

“No,” he said, stepping closer. “I just need you to see that I’m trying. Even if it’s ugly. Even if I’m bleeding and loud and afraid. I need you to see me, and stay anyway.”

You stared at him.

He looked like someone who hadn’t slept in days. Someone who’d gone through hell and walked straight into another fire because you were at the center of it.

Your voice cracked, “you don’t make it easy.”

“I know.”

You looked down at your hands—his blood still faintly on your fingertips. He reached out slowly. You didn’t move. Not when his fingers curled around your wrist. Not when he pulled you in his lap, not when his forehead leaned into yours like he was holding on for dear life.

“I hate that I hurt you,” he whispered. “But I’d rather burn with you than freeze without you.”

“I wasn’t gonna leave, Jeno.”

“I know.”

“Then why—”

“Because I’m sick,” he said suddenly. “Sick of being the one who’s always too much. Too angry. Too wrong. I get one thing right—one fucking exam—and even then I screw it up by throwing a punch at someone who talks shit about you and then picking a fight with the only person who’s ever actually looked at me like I could be more.”

Your breath hitched. You grabbed the gauze, wrapped it around his hand. Tighter than needed.

“Then be more, Jeno.”

He stared at you.

“Be more,” you repeated, “because I’m tired of being in love with someone who’s so determined to hate himself.”

That silenced him. Fully. Until he spoke again.

“You’re in love with me?”

The words dropped like a bomb between you.

You froze. Swallowed. Refused to take it back, chuckling to yourself at how easily you let go and told him that, “yeah—god help me, I am.”

Then you tried to move back, only his arms wrapped around your waist tighter, holding you in place, “you don’t get to say that and walk away.” He growled. 

“Who said I’m walking away?” You mumbled, holding onto his shoulder for support. 

It was unreal, how close you guys were but still not close enough, it was never enough. 

“You’re mad at me,” Jeno stated. 

“I should be mad.” 

“I’m mad too,” he added. 

“Good,” you rolled your eyes, trying to move again.

But he didn’t let you, not this time, his thumb brushing your cheek. 

That was it. That was when Jeno finally let go. He couldn’t delay this anymore, not again, not when you were right in front of him, not when your soft lips brushed so tenderly against his bruised ones, not when you told him you were in love with him—not when he knew he had to have you. 

He surged up and into you—hands gripping your face, mouth pressing against yours like it was the only way to breathe. It wasn’t gentle, it wasn’t neat, it was everything you’d been holding back.

Lips slotted together, you could taste blood on your tongue from where he was hurt before, which only made you groan into the kiss, he was frustrated, so frustrated, not having it in him to let go for even a second. 

You gasped, arms flying up to clutch at his shoulders, pressed chest-to-chest, his body was warm—too warm—and you could feel his tension in every line.

You broke the kiss first, panting, eyes wide. “You shouldn’t—” you tried to say, especially when his body was hurting. 

“I have to,” he breathed, leaning in again. “Let me, just once. Please.”

You didn’t stop him, grabbing his nape and pulling him into you once again, because when Jeno kissed you again, it felt like pain, penance, and pleasure all in one. It was as if he was trying to earn your forgiveness with his mouth, trying to pour out everything he couldn’t say to you, groaning into your mouth when your hips shifted over his lap. 

“I fucking—” He said midway the kiss, “god I—”

You shushed him gently, “you don’t have to say it.”

“I love you,” he breathed out, forehead pressed against yours, eyes earnest and full of life for the first time since you saw him, “I don’t care if it’s too early, I can’t fucking not say it, I love you, I—”

Before he could ruin the moment with the spiral in his throat, before he could pull back in fear, you pressed your lips against his like it was the only thing anchoring you to the earth.

He responded like he’d been starving. Mouth hot, desperate, hands gripping your waist like the world was falling apart and he only had seconds left to memorize you. The kiss was brutal in the way it made you feel, there was no choreography to it, no elegance—just lips, teeth, breath, and aching hunger.

His mouth was swollen. Your lips, bruised from how much he kissed you like he didn’t know how to stop.

“Tell me to stop,” he breathed.

You stared at him. “I don’t want you to.”

Then you grabbed his jaw once you heard him wince, “does it hurt?” You asked, pecking his jaw, trailing kisses all over. 

“It’s the only thing that doesn’t hurt,” he whispered, letting your lips take over, tracing every bit of his face and neck, his eyes closing with the fire that you ignited within him. 

“This feels like a dream,” he whispered.

“It’s not.”

“But it could be,” he added, almost to himself. “You—like this, in my lap, in your apartment, touching me like I’m not a monster.”

You cupped his face again, guiding his eyes to yours, “you’re not a monster, Jeno.”

“You don’t know the things I’ve thought.”

“Then tell me.”

His voice cracked, “I thought I’d die if I didn’t see you again. I thought that maybe I’m already ruined and maybe I don’t deserve you but I can’t stop loving you anyway. I thought—”

You kissed him again. Slow this time. Deep and aching, “then stop thinking,” you whispered, “just be here—with me.”

His fingers trembled as they curled into the hem of your shirt.

“Can I?”

You nodded.

He pulled the fabric up carefully, reverently, and you helped him, raising your arms until it was off. His breath hitched. Not because of how you looked—but because he was looking at you like that.

Like something sacred.

You grabbed the back of his hoodie, tugging. He hesitated for a split second before pulling it over his head. The sight made your breath catch.

His torso was littered with bruises, some dark purple, some fading yellow. His ribcage dipped where the muscle was taut with tension. You reached out, fingertips grazing over a particularly harsh mark near his side.

He flinched. “That one’s from earlier.”

Your jaw clenched, “you shouldn’t fight because of me.”

“I wasn’t,” he said, “I was fighting every voice in my head that said I wasn’t worth your love.”

You kissed the bruise.

He gasped.

“I hate that they ever made you feel like that.”

His hands slid back up to your sides, lips brushing your jaw. “You make it go quiet.”

“I want to,” you whispered.

Your kisses grew slow again, heavier with emotion than desire. You could feel his heartbeat where your chest pressed into his, your hands in his hair, his head tilted just enough to deepen the kiss. You rolled your hips slightly in his lap, and he groaned again, burying his face in your neck.

“Fuck, Y/N—”

“Jeno,” you murmured, your nails dragging softly along his back, “look at me.”

He lifted his head. His eyes—wild, glassy, full of everything he couldn’t say.

“I love you,” you said again. “I’m not afraid of it. So don’t be either.”

He leaned forward, pressing your foreheads together. 

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.”

“You’re so fucking pretty, did I ever tell you that?” He mumbled against the skin of your neck, brushing his lips all over before placing open mouthed kisses over the expanse of your clavicle, “so fucking pretty.”

Jeno wasn’t gentle anymore, not when he’d been craving your presence, craving you. He couldn’t help but treat you like a reward, like he finally had won the only thing in life that actually mattered to him. 

He was quick to grab your waist and flip you over, getting on top of you on the couch that was too small for things he had planned in his mind. It was almost like a dam breaking the way his mouth was on your neck, biting, sucking, claiming you. 

“Jeno—” you mumbled, your back arching as you felt his body pressing into you, fingers wrapped around his wet locks as he marked your skin with every ounce of desperation he had, his fingers mapping out every inch of your body as if he’s afraid he’d forget it—as if he could ever forget anything about you. 

The warmth of his hands brushed over your bra clad nipples, a whimper leaving your mouth. Jeno wasn’t undressed yet you could feel him getting hard, and god you wondered just how big he was, grinding into you as if he was already inside your cunt. 

“I hurt you so fucking much,” Jeno mumbled, lips ghosting over your tit, “now I’ll hurt you in the way you want me to,” he said with dark eyes, yanking your bra down enough for your nipples to show, latching his mouth to you all in light speed. 

All his life Jeno couldn’t take control of anything, but seeing you shiver under him just made sense to Jeno, he had to take control—he had to make you feel so good, you wouldn’t ever look at anyone else. 

“You’re fucking crazy,” you whispered, already disheveled with how needy you were, wetness pooling in your panties, soiling the new pair you had put on not too long ago. 

“Yeah? You drive me crazy, baby,” he chuckled, and that sound went straight to your pussy. Jeno was hot, so fucking hot, but him using nicknames on you with his deep tone—only god knows how you would survive this. 

You bit your lip to conceal your moans, which only infuriated Jeno, biting your nipple harshly to make sure you scream, “don’t fucking hide your pretty voice,” he said. 

His hands went to your other breast and he gave it a tight squeeze, your eyes were on him as you watched his lips parting, letting his tongue make contact with the tip of your very hardened nub. He bites down on your nipple, making you cry out, but quickly soothes it with his tongue before switching to the other side, he wants to drive you wild with pleasure, to possess every inch of your body.

Lost in the haze of pleasure, you surrender yourself completely to Jeno’s possessive touches, letting him have his way with you. The room fills with the sounds of your moans and his desperate sucking, a symphony of carnal desire. In this moment, there is nothing but you and Jeno, and the burning hunger that consumes you both. 

Jeno’s hands roam across your body, his touch electric against your skin. He grabs your hips, pulling you flush against him as he claims your lips in yet another searing kiss, tongue delving into your mouth, hot and hungry, making you more hungry for his touch—for him. 

“I—can’t,” you whimpered, wanting more of him. 

Jeno chuckled, “can’t even speak now, hm? What happened to the feisty lil’ girl who couldn’t shut up?” 

“Fuck, shut up,” you mumbled, tugging on his hair harder, which only made him groan and squeeze your tits harder, coming up to brush his lips against yours, hot breaths intertwining as he smirks, hand travelling down your body, very close to the hem of your shorts. 

“Want me to shut up?” He asked, squeezing your neck with slight pressure, your mouth opening in a gasp—he took the opportunity to spit in your mouth, watching your eyes widen as watches you gulp it down, “good fucking girl,” he mumbles. 

You were too gone to function anymore and you had just started, but you knew one thing—whatever Jeno wanted, you’d let him do it to you. 

That man was no less than a Greek god with how sharp his features looked, especially in the dim light of the room, muscles flexing, abs on full display as he held himself up on top of you to press kisses all over. 

In a swift second, he pulled you up to unclasp your bra, throwing it away somewhere to continue pressing hot mouthed kisses down the valley of your breasts, and down your tummy, caressing it with the pad of his thumb, spending a good few seconds covering the expanse of your skin. 

You breathed harder once he reached the waistband of your shorts, his hooded eyes, almost drunk, looking up at you before he swiftly pulled them down, throwing them on the floor somewhere.

He couldn’t be gentle even if he tried, not when he was this thirsty, holding your legs open as he settled in the limited space that the couch held for him. Madman—that’s what he was and you couldn’t help but moan when he got closer to your panty clad cunt, burying his nose in the wet fabric, sniffing the scent of your arousal, groaning as he locked your thighs under his arms, which flexed harder now. 

You moaned his name as if a broken record repeating the same thing over and over again and he only mumbled things you couldn’t hear in your cunt, licking the already wet cloth, biting his lip at the first taste of you, “fuck—you’re so fucking perfect,” he says licking you harder, kissing your inner thighs alongside, leaving bites all over—he was feral. 

He slid your panties to the side, and the sight he had in front of him drove him to the edge. Jeno was an impatient man, yes, he was messy, he was not the softest, but seeing you like this just made him realize how much crazier he could be. 

That first taste emboldens him and he dives in like a man starved, lapping at your folds like he’s trying to consume you entirely. 

His desperate tongue delves deep inside, fucking you with rapid strokes and curling to hit your sweet spot. You cry out sharply at the intense sensation, fingers tangling in his tousled raven hair to hold him in place. He grips your thighs tightly, holding you down and open for his onslaught as he devours you. 

Jeno zeroes in on your clit, flicking and circling the sensitive bundle of nerves rapidly. Your back arches off the couch as he suckles hard on the throbbing bud, two fingers pumping inside your clenching hole.

“Fuck—Jeno, I’m gonna cum!” You wail, thighs trembling violently around his head as your climax approaches rapidly. He doubles his efforts, fucking you harder with his fingers and lashing your clit mercilessly with his tongue.

He curls his fingers to stroke your G-spot with every thrust, drawing out more of your copious arousal to lap up greedily. Your walls start to flutter and clench around him as the pressure builds unbearably.

 Jeno chuckled, the vibrations sending shockwaves through your body. “You like that, baby?” He practically purred, before sucking your clit into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. 

“Fuck—yes,” you gasped, your head falling back against the couch. Jeno was relentless, his tongue exploring every inch of you, driving you closer and closer to the edge. 

“Don’t stop,” you pleaded, your thighs trembling as you stared at the ceiling with your mouth open, desperate for air. 

Jeno pulled back for a moment, looking up at you with a wicked grin, “you want more, kitten?” He teased, running a finger along your slit, “go on then, beg for it.”

You groaned in frustration, but you were too far gone to care, “please, Jeno,” you begged, fueling his ego. 

“Shhh, be a good lil’ kitten for me, yeah?” He mumbled into your core mindlessly, sending shivers up your spine as your thighs shake. He didn’t stop, but just when your ecstasy was about to crash—

He stopped. 

You let out a frustrated groan and Jeno only got up with the essence of you sprawled over his chin, his hard on begging to be freed. 

“Fuck?” You asked, trying to get up on your elbows, looking at him incredulously. 

He only gave you a once over, tongue poking his cheek from inside before he came closer, swooping you up in his arms easily as you yelped, eyes wide as he carried you to the bedroom, “no patience, huh?” He asked. 

He was proud of himself for making you this weak, for cracking your high wall down so he could see you, so he could ruin you. Jeno was possessive, especially after knowing what you and Jaemin went through, he wanted you to have the best, and he was willing to be the best for you. 

“I—I was gonna cum!” You said, holding on to him for support.

“Did I say you could?” He replied smoothly. 

“What—Jeno what the fuck?” You whined and he only chuckled.

“Be patient, love, or else you won’t be coming all fucking night, yeah?” He said as he let you get down on the bed. 

You looked so innocent, eyes watery, hair messy, looking up at him like an angry little kitten trying to look tough. He climbed the bed and you moved back, till your back hit the headboard and he hovered above you, caressing your cheek as he cupped your jaw, tilting your head up to look him in his eye. Your heartbeat speeding up yet again, and good lord you loved being manhandled by Jeno. 

“What are you thinking?” He asked, thumb pushing on your lower lip. 

“Nothing.” You mumbled. 

He leaned in closer, “not thinking of my cock inside your pretty little cunt, hm?” He asks, watching you shiver at the thought, “by the time I'm done with you, you’ll be begging me to let you cum.”

Your jaw clenched as you slide your hand up Jeno’s torso, tracing all the way from his abs to his neck, his own body reacting to your touch, cock twitching inside his pants by the time your hand rested on his nape, pulling him even closer so your noses were touching. 

“You know, Jeno, you talk big game. Don’t make promises you can’t back up,” you mumbled to rile him up. 

Jeno’s eyes flashed with a mixture of lust and irritation at your challenge, “oh, you’re going to regret those words,” he whispered, his hands gripping your hips possessively. “I’m going to make you beg for my cock, baby.”

He punctuated his statement with a sharp thrust of his fingers, two of them plunging deep into your sopping wet pussy. You gasped, your back arching off the bed as he worked them in and out, stroking along your sensitive walls.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he panted, his thumb rubbing firm circles on your clit. “I can’t wait to feel this perfect little cunt wrapped around my cock.”

You moaned, your hips rolling to meet his hand as he fucked you with his fingers. “Then stop talking and do something about it,” you shot back, your voice breathy with desire.

Jeno chuckled darkly, withdrawing his fingers only to bring them to his mouth. He sucked them clean, his eyes never leaving yours as he savored your taste. “Mmh—delicious,” he purred, “but I’m not done playing with you yet.”

Before you could protest, he was pushing your thighs apart and settling between them. His tongue delved into your folds, lapping at your arousal like a man starved. You cried out, your fingers tangling in his hair as he devoured your pussy with single-minded intensity.

He worked you over mercilessly, his tongue and lips and teeth finding all the right spots to drive you wild. You bucked against his face, your thighs trembling as the pleasure built inside you. Just when you thought you might burst, Jeno would back off, leaving you desperate and aching for release.

“Jeno, please,” you whimpered, tugging on his hair in a futile attempt to guide him back to where you needed him most, “I need to cum. Please let me cum.”

He lifted his head, his chin glistening as he looked up at you. “Not yet,” he shook his head, his fingers continuing their maddeningly slow circles on your clit, “I want to hear you scream first.”

“I fucking can’t!” You breathed out, trying to control your moans again, “someone’s gonna hear and—ah—complain about it,” you said, which only made him scoff. 

“Is that it, hm? Have it your way then, princess,” he mumbled, yanking your soiled panties down all the way, balling it up in his first to make a gag out of it and shoving it down your mouth, “now you can scream all your want, Y/N.” He said, taking your name in his deep voice. 

And if you weren’t crazy before, now you had reached your limit of madness, even a poke from his side was like a pleasant burning wound to your skin, his actions also made you realize just how hungry Jeno was for being the one in control. 

You squirmed beneath Jeno, feeling utterly at his mercy as he continued his torturous teasing. The gag in your mouth muffled your moans but couldn’t silence them completely, much to Jeno’s enjoyment. Your body arched, yearning for more, desperate for release.

“Such a needy lil’ thing, aren’t you?” Jeno growled, his fingers still circling your sensitive bud, “I can feel how wet you are, taste how wet you are, dripping for me, hm?”

His words made you clench, fresh arousal coating his fingers. He gathered some of your slickness and slowly dragged it up to your throbbing clit, applying just the right amount of pressure. Your hips bucked up in hopes of seeking more contact.

“Hm—so responsive,” Jeno purred, looking pleased with himself, “I could do this all night—keep you on the edge, begging so desperately for me.”

“Please—” you tried to say around the gag, your eyes pleading, you were so close, teetering on the brink of an explosive climax. Just a little more.

But Jeno seemed determined to deny you that satisfaction, easing off right as you were about to fall over into your state of euphoria, frustration bubbled up inside you, mingling with the overwhelming lust coursing through your veins.

“You’re going to have to do better than that, baby,” Jeno taunted, nipping at your inner thigh, “I want to hear you scream my name—let everyone know who you belong to.”

His fingers circled, feather-light touches that drove you wild with need. You thrashed beneath him, incoherent noises of desperation spilling from your lips. Jeno just chuckled darkly, clearly enjoying your plight, removing your gag to hear you gasp loudly, his name on the tip of your tongue. 

Jeno was cruel, so cruel the way he denied your orgasm yet again with a smirk playing on his face, a whole one eighty from how he was an hour back and you were crying by now, something he seemed to enjoy too as he licked your face, tasting the salty teardrop you let out, “this makes me wanna ruin you more, y’know?” 

“Fuck—Jeno, let me cum please,” you sobbed as he took you in his arms. 

“You wanna cum, hm?” He asked as you settled on his lap, his hard on pressing against your thigh as you nodded, “fuck, you look so pretty crying like that for me, like a doll, a doll for me to use, hm?”

You couldn’t take it anymore, getting off and undoing his pant buttons as he watched you with amusement how you struggled to take off his pants and boxers, only to find his cock waiting for you, hard and proud. 

Jeno’s cock was throbbing, hard and ready to burst, as you took him into your mouth, your tongue swirling around his tip in a teasing manner. You could taste the salty beads of precum leaking from his slit, the flavor sending a jolt of desire straight to your core.

“Fuck—baby,” Jeno groaned, his fingers threading through your hair as you bobbed your head, taking him deeper into your throat. “Your mouth feels so good. Keep going just like that, good girl.”

You moaned around his length, the vibrations making him shudder. Your own arousal was dripping down your thighs, coating them with your slick essence. The wet sounds of your slurping filled the room, mingling with Jeno’s heavy breaths and grunts of pleasure.

“Shit—fuck, take it easy, I won’t be able to hold back," he panted, his grip on your hair tightening, “I’m gonna fucking come down your throat if you keep sucking me like that.”

You redoubled your efforts, eager to taste his release. Your tongue flattened against the underside of his shaft as you sucked harder, determined to milk him of every last drop. Just as you felt him start to swell, signaling his impending orgasm, you pulled away with a pop.

Jeno’s eyes jolted open, a mix of confusion and frustration flashing across his face. “What the fuck, baby? Why the fuck did you stop?”

You just smiled coyly up at him, licking your lips. “Because I want you to come inside me. I want to feel you fill me up with your hot cum, or are you too much of a coward to fuck me?” You teased, your grin making him scoff. 

God he loved you. 

Jeno growled, a predatory gleam in his eyes. In a flash, he grabbed your hips and flipped you onto your side, your back pressed firmly against his torso. 

Before you could even process the sudden change in position, he was lined up at your entrance, the head of his cock nudging your slick folds.

“Teasing me will only get you punished,” he warned, his voice low and husky with desire. “I’m going to fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to walk straight for a week.”

With that promise, he slammed into you, burying himself to the hilt in one powerful thrust. You cried out at the sudden intrusion, your back arching as he filled you completely. Jeno set a brutal pace, pounding into you with wild abandon.

You let out a sharp cry as Jeno’s thick cock stretched you open, filling you so deeply that you could feel him bulging through your lower abdomen. The feeling of his hard length pulsing inside you sent shockwaves of pleasure through your body, making you arch your back and press your ass against him.

“Lord—ah yes,” you gasped, grinding against him, “you’re—so fucking big.”

Jeno grunted in response, his fingers digging into your hips as he continued to pound into you at a furious pace. The sounds of skin slapping against skin and your needy moans filled the room, mixing with the creaking of the bed frame beneath you.

“Shit, your cunt is so tight,” Jeno mumbled, his breath hot against your neck. “Squeezing my cock like a desperate doll—you were made for me, baby. Made to take my dick and milk me dry.”

His filthy words only heightened your arousal, making you clench even tighter around him. You could feel your orgasm building again, the tension coiling in your core as he hit that special spot deep inside you with each thrust.

“Please don’t stop, not this time,” you pleaded, your nails digging into his thighs. “Fuck me harder, Jeno. I’m so fucking close.”

He was quick to flip you over again so you were resting on your back, his hips settling in between you as he held your thighs up, your legs resting on both his shoulders with ease as he snapped into you harder, plunging his cock with more need, as if he was a monster hungry for lust and only lust.

Jeno snarled, his hips snapping forward with a newfound vigor. One hand moved around to rub firm circles around your clit, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your body began to tremble, your breath coming out in short gasps as you found yourself on the brink of ecstasy.

“Cum for me,” Jeno demanded, pinching your clit hard, “I want to feel you cum all over my dick, baby.”

With a scream of his name, you practically exploded, your pussy clamping down around him like a vice as your orgasm crashed over you. Your body convulsed, your back bowing as wave after wave of intense pleasure washed through you, which shocked Jeno because you weren’t just having an orgasm. 

You were squirting all over his cock. 

Jeno followed shortly after, his cock pulsing as he spilled his release deep inside you, as he breathed hard, watching you with surprised eyes.

“Fuck,” he groaned, grinding against you to prolong your shared climax, “you’re so fucking hot, so fucking mine.”

You whimpered at the feeling of his hot cum painting your walls, the sensation making your pussy flutter around his shaft. Jeno held you close as you both rode out the aftershocks, his softening cock still buried inside you.

“You’re mine,” he mumbled, “say it.”

“Yours—I’m yours,” you breathed as best as you could. 

“Again.”

“I’m yours, Jeno.”

“Fuck—again.”

“So so fucking yours, I’m all yours Jeno.”

“Mine,” he whispered, so possessive. 

After a few moments, Jeno carefully pulled out and rolled you onto your back. He pressed gentle kisses along your jawline and down your neck, his touch soothing and tender in contrast to the rough passion from moments before.

“That was intense,” he murmured, nuzzling against your collarbone, “I don’t think i’ll ever get enough of you, baby. You’re fucking addictive.”

You smiled up at him, reaching up to cup his face. "I could say the same about you. The way you fuck me, it’s like you’re a fucking beast.”

“Was I too harsh?” He asked, placing soft kisses all over, “I’m sorry I just lost control—you have no idea how badly I need you, I don’t think I can stop,” he confessed. 

You kissed him again, “then don’t stop, just don’t.”

That’s all he needed to hear for the night, that you were finally his, and he was yours. He smirked, the night was just getting started. 

Chapter 10: Hate me less? You love me more. 

You don’t remember how the night ended, not when Jeno kept his promise of how you wouldn’t be able to walk anymore once he was done with you, and he was precise about it. He was far from done when he made you fall apart on his cock so many times, you lost count. 

It was a crazy switch up once you both were done, he took care of you, almost like he was made for it, helping you clean up in little bathtub which was definitely too small to fit the both of you, yet he helped you bath, a faint blush on his face as you laughed once he tried to act sly, touching you again when you were so sensitive and overstimulated. 

Turns out, Jeno can be super clingy when he has to be, also not letting you go once you get out of the tub, helping you dry your hair, helping you moisturize your body, helping you smile by kissing you every few seconds. 

He held you to sleep, not before hearing you say you actually want him and it’s not a dream. Jeno doesn’t remember if he ever felt this way before, this warmth called happiness that you provided him so easily. 

“I love you,” he mumbled to your sleeping figure, he was whipped, already thinking of your future together. Yeah, maybe it all happened too quickly, he still wouldn’t have it any other way. He wouldn’t mind getting through all the hurt again if it meant that he’d wake up to you sleeping next to him—to you loving him. 

It was perhaps the best day of Jeno’s life. 

The air felt different today.

Not because of the weather, which was finally warm and breezy after days of storm and stress, but because Jeno was walking beside you—not behind, not ahead—beside you. His fingers were laced with yours, his thumb brushing over your skin every few steps like he was still checking if this was real, he still couldn’t believe it. 

It was.

You passed the main quad slowly, in no rush. The two of you didn’t need to say much. Conversations dimmed as you walked through. You could feel the glances, the whispers.

Someone definitely said your name. Then his.

And then, clear as day, they whispered. 

“Wait—are they actually holding hands?”

Jeno didn’t flinch.

Not like he would’ve, weeks ago. Not like the boy who couldn’t stand being seen, being known. Instead, he just grabbed your hand a little tighter—casual, sure, and completely unbothered. His expression said it all—Yeah, and?

You chuckled. “Think they’re combusting?”

“Oh, definitely,” he said, tugging you closer with a smugness he barely bothered to hide anymore. “Especially that one girl who’s walking with me, who swore she’d never even look at me.”

“She wasn’t entirely wrong,” you teased. “You were kind of a menace.”

He groaned, tossing his head back, “were?”

You laughed, and it made him smile, soft and full, the kind of smile he used to hide and now gave you freely.

“You’re doing that look again,” he said, side-eyeing you. “Like you’re psychoanalyzing me.”

“Maybe I am. Can’t help it. You’re a walking dissertation, y’know?”

“Yeah? What’s the title?”

You looked up at him with a shrug. “How to fall for someone you’re supposed to hate.”

That made him stop walking.

You blinked, startled, but he was already turning to face you, his hoodie sleeves pushed up just enough to show the fading bruises on his knuckles—old reminders of the version of him you never gave up on.

“I’m glad you did,” he said. “Fall for me. Even when I made it so damn hard.”

You smiled slowly, the kind of smile that made his breath catch. “You still do.”

“Yeah, well,” he squeezed your hand, “at least I’m hot.”

You were too busy rolling your eyes to realize you’d just walked past Jaemin and his friends until the entire bench went awkwardly quiet. Jaemin looked up, eyes flicking from your joined hands to your face, and then to Jeno—who didn’t even spare him a glance.

He was too focused on you. Too content stealing a bite of your ice cream like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Let’s go,” you muttered, trying not to laugh as you nudged him forward.

Jeno followed. No hesitation.

Because this, the hand holding, the quiet teasing, the stares that didn’t matter anymore, this was normal.

And for the first time in his life, Jeno finally understood: Normal didn’t mean boring.

It meant chosen. It meant enough.

It meant being yours.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

permanent taglist:

@jaeminvore @macaroonff @ajayke-reads @en-myworld @lunalovesstories @jayzdaze @deobitifull @celeste-hoon @mari-oclock @kpoprhia @ikeuizm @woniebae @lalalalawon @blessedcursd @skzenhalove @heesuncore @seuomo @kyurizeu @haechan-nahceah @tobiosbbyghorl @jezzebear @jaehoonii @itsgivingitalian @bunhoons @hyacandoit @luvswonyoung @ma-riiii @addictedtohobi @heeliopheelia @haanigurl @dopedels @kaykay11sworld @glitterjay @skzooluvr @yongbokified

taglist open! send an ask or comment to be added!

© jaylaxies | tumblr

[yojeongin]

farmer's daughter | l.jn

→city boy!jeno x country girl!reader

genre: smut, horror, suspense, southern gothic, 70s au, x/pearl au

synopsis: high and mighty jeno think’s he’s too good for the country side. maybe a lonely naive farmer’s daughter can help him waste time… well, he should've really thought about it beforehand.

warnings: ADULTS ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! heavily implied murder, religious themes, sleazy jeno, “naive” reader, manipulation, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, riding/cowgirl position, rough sex, obsessive love syndrome, sheep and fawn as symbolism, fight over control, implied fragile masculinity and creepy men, violence, blood, lowkey descriptive animal x animal consumption.

wc: 14k+ || anothology masterlist || soundtrack || ao3

© 2025 YOJEONGIN all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works on other platforms. reblogs are HIGHLY appreciated and preferred!

disclaimer: this is purely fictional; in no way am I condoning this behavior, trying to offend anyone, nor is it meant to place such image on the idol, these are only characters. read at your own discretion.

an: well summer has been over but I’ve spent my entire summers in the countryside with no wifi unless going into town so trust this is as accurate as it gets. and again, remember this is part of a series that touches on immorality.

Jeno doesn’t always seem to notice many things. He didn’t notice the job application his cousin gave him said he had to move to Austin. He didn’t notice the road he'd taken as a 'shortcut' was actually the longest way to the city. And he definitely didn’t notice his gas tank wailing and begging him for the past hour and a half to fill it up, to feed it. Starving, and in no short amount of time, it would tire, conceding its responsibilities. 

That came faster than expected and while Jeno sang his lungs out to the melody of when I die, the cows eating away the weeds laughed at him with every forced push and huff to make the truck keep going. Jeno didn’t understand why this was happening and he was growing scared that perhaps the biker with the billiard eye had cut a wire or drained the gas he had put in before returning to the station for a bathroom break.

But that wasn’t it. Crossing paths with the man was four hours ago and if anything he was a sweetheart to the raven haired man.

No, his negligence is what led him to this horrid path, finding himself stranded in front of mocking cows and temperamental winds which laugh in his face. If it’s a cool breeze, it’s a light chuckle. If it’s hot — well, the wind can't help but cackle at his misfortunes.

By these events, what most bothered Jeno was being stranded in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere with disgusting yellowing fields, hideous beasts, and horrid heat that couldn't be masked by open windows and blaring winds.

“God fuckin’ damn it!”

What was there to do besides complain? Worst of all, there was a gas station twenty miles behind he passed due to his ogling of a go-go dancers’ billboard for a club off the road. Yes, that’s the only reason why he took this bump hell of a ‘shortcut’ marked by the clawing of tractors and herds stampedes.

As words and filth spew from his plump lips, Jeno’s eyes roam his surroundings in hopes that someone will come by and save him from this self-inflicted misery.

Despite being punished by the tarnished old piece of metal, it had left him right in the entrance to a farm. It wasn’t anything special. A traditional old farm house with dirt clinging to the grooves of swollen wood and red tiled weathered down roof.

It wasn’t anything special. 

That’s what he saw first beside the yellow tall grass, oddly colored for summer. The chilly breeze was treacherous next to the harsh Texan sun that blinded him if he ever so slightly lifted his head. Perhaps the sun was his enemy, blinding his eyes and heart with every step he took in direction towards the tattered old home.

In the trajectory towards the high risen creaky porch, Jeno hadn’t been able to see or hear anything, only the rusty door screen which he believed remained locked while the home door was fully opened. 

Shade the porch granted took him out of the trance the sun fooled him into. His ears cleared up and the sound of sermons on full blast danced into them, prickling with preaching and scoldings that reminded him why he has not attended a service in years.

That alone made him contemplate on whether he should knock and ask for aid. What if they try to indoctrinate him? What if he gets scolded when they learn he only took the off road to see topless women in thongs? 

But hunger was stronger and his awoken stomach was now notifying him of such. A whiff of roasted vegetables and cooking meat drew him closer to the screen, enough to feel the rusty mesh against his sweaty face. He didn’t care for the hygienic issues, for now he wanted to be fed. Something he ignored after finishing his last kolache from breakfast. The sausage might have been cold and the bread stale but the sheer concept of food was enough to satiate his hunger at the time.

Jeno’s knuckles softly rap against the stained wood of where a pushed-in doorbell resided. The metal was beginning to oxidize similarly to the doorknob that he unconsciously held. Ever since he stepped foot past the gates of the farm, the sun seemed to take control of him.

There was an eeriness to the premises and with every passing minute he felt observed. Strange though, because despite all his knocking and pacing around the loud creaking porch, no one came to his aid.

He knew there was someone home, he could see a hand holding a lit cigarette between stub-nubby fingers. The swirling smoke even made its way towards him just to laugh through minty giggles. 

“Hello?” Jeno elongates the last vowel frustratedly. His stomach wouldn’t stop rumbling and with the increase of his desperation, so did the sound of the television.

A peeved huff left his lips as his body swung in desperation, taking in the decoration and furniture of the porch. Below the dock, empty milk glasses left to aerate while the chum sat next to his feet.

Almost every inch of the overhead was filled with bird feeders and wind chimes. Some metal and others glass or ceramic, but they all aimed to irk him with their constant howls. At least that was better than the preacher calling him a sinner for the fiftieth time since he arrived.

Regardless, the amount of crosses above every window and door won't allow him to forget where he is. Everything may be rusted or dirty but these weren’t. All spotlessly clean from what he could tell, almost as if they were cleaned daily. 

Jeno knocked once more after glancing at the rocking chairs on the left side of the porch. Both covered in blankets and cushions. Stools next to them, and what seemed to be a rotting plate of chitterlings.

The sight disgusted him immensely, enough to gag — crawling maggots clinging to the piece. Surprisingly enough, there was no smell, he justified it with being out in the open-air.

One.

Jeno had given up and in his petty mannerism, knocking again, spewing a loud: “Bye, I won’t bother you any longer!” In his most faux friendly voice when under his breath he cursed whoever was inside rotting away just like the home and their gross habits. 

Unlike last time, Jeno was aware of his surroundings now. He could hear every creaking floorboard, the clanking of pebbles under his feet, the giggles of the wind chimes, the cows asking if he had given up like a coward who would soon wait for someone to pass by. But, most of all he could clearly hear sing-song screeches battling with liquid against a metal bucket.

Jeno couldn’t believe he had missed the remaining buildings. A few feet away from the house, a tattered small barn with broken off bits of wood. A lighter wood covering cavities held by rusted nails. This was less special than the house, with no decorations and the barn doors on their last whim. One huge slam and it’d fall off its hinges.

The pebbles were replaced by straw, dry and crunchy under his boots but not loud enough for the sitting figure whose back faced him to notice that a strange man was approaching her.

Jeno took in the view before him. Sitting on a stubby stool — rendered useless as essentially squatting was the position. Hair tied in messy pigtail braids that swung around with every tug of the cow’s tit. The image of wrapping his fingers along those locks while his hands caressed the bare shoulders brewed. A bit more movement and he'd witness side boob. 

There was a blue button-up tossed across the fresh straw stacks against the wall. Left in only scuffed leather boots, bandanna, and some short overalls that rode up to your upper thigh with the position you were in. 

If Jeno wasn't going to experience his topless girls at least he's thankful for you. Teeth clinging to his lower lip, eyes scanning the bits of bare skin he could view while Jim Morrison screamed at you for being lost through the radio.

The weather was always treacherous. When he had been dumbified by the scorching sun, the coolness from within the dark barn had forced you to reach for the blue button-up. You could’ve easily turned left to grab it, but the ducks had other plans, waddling in loudly, demanding from whoever they saw first. 

“Oh stop the whining you fatt—”

You didn’t finish scolding the pestering animals. In lieu, you abashedly stood up from the stool, nearly kicking over the half full bucket of milk. Your eyes grew and your hands went behind your back. He couldn’t see it but you were grasping the pitchfork while reaching for the blouse to cover up. The overalls were doing fine but you knew better than to be this exposed in front of a man, especially a stranger.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, darlin'.” His hands may have gone up to show surrendered peace but yours went down with the pet name. Your grasp on the object loosened and your eyes sparkled every time he spoke. That perfidious smile luring you further in. It was that easy.

“My truck broke down in front of your home and I was wondering if there’s any way you could help me. A phone, some gas, a ride to a gas station?... Is your pop around?” He breaks out another smile, as friendly as he could, clasping his hands before him. A smile that often helped him out of troubles with lonely women. Steadily, he walks closer, stopping when your head negates all of his requests. 

Disappointingly, his smile falters with a sigh that’s ready to turn into a complaining groans, denying it upon hearing your voice. “Daddy went to the city with my brother for some tractor pieces. They took the last gas can and I can’t drive.” Your grip on the pitchfork was gone, clinging instead to the denim over you.

“Surely there’s a phone, no?” He nervously asks, another step closer. Denied again.

“Mama doesn’t like all that fancy technology. The pastor gave nana a TV last winter and she hates it. But nana and daddy love it, otherwise it’d be silent here.”

Two.

Jeno hums, he points to the small radio near the bucket, a cheeky smile on his lips as his hand drops, similar to your head with an embarrassed tinge decorating your face. “Brother-in-law snuck it in for me. He’s kinda weird but he gets me gifts so I think that’s okay.” A giggle leaves your lips, weariness fading the longer his smile remains. Disregarding the fact this one was out of his own weariness.

“In that case, is he here? I just need some gas and I’ll be out of sight, I promise.” “No!”

There’s no denying of the desperation in your voice, and this time it was you who took the initiative to step closer. The button-up sagged and had fallen off a shoulder, long forgotten by you. “I mean, he’s not. He ain't allowed to come on his own especially when it’s just me and nana, only when sissy visits but she hasn’t shown since Easter.”

This was a lost case then. Who knows when your family would come back or if they’re willing to help. Whoever was in the home a clear example of unwillingness.

"Well, alright… Thank you.”

Ready to part, he gets stopped by your voice once more. “Would you like to wait? Nana and I cooked earlier — If you’re hungry.” Such a sweet smile decorated your lips, moistened by your tongue when he was distracted. His stomach woke up again, rumbling in a frenzy. He wanted to deny the offer. ‘Ew’ bouncing off every crevice of his brain with the thoughts of staying any longer but his hunger was stronger.

Ultimately, he smiles, nodding with gratitude rolling off his lips.

“Is your ma around, then?” He questions to begin conversation, watching your every move. Good enough for him as you crouch to grab the bucket of milk. Unbeknownst to you that the button-up and overall are doing a poor job over you.

The heaviness of the bucket made you stumble. Jeno enjoyed these moments as the fat of your breast moved around, taunting him with a nip slip that never came but was sure enjoying the game. 

“Mind turning?” The blue fabric rose with your hand the second you noticed his wandering gaze. He didn’t say anything upon taking the hint. The rustling and clanking of fabric, buttons, and clasps filling the silence until you let him know it was fine with a tap to his own clothed shoulder. 

Jeno hadn’t offered to carry the bucket but he knew not to make a bad impression. You country folk already think all city folks were impolite and if he wanted to win any brownie points, he oughta act otherwise. It's not like it's hard when your impressionable heart is thumping on your sleeve. “Thank you…” You timidly squeak, walking beside him and rubbing off the ache the thin metal handle left on your palm. Jeno opts to smile with a quick wink the way he knew girls liked. 

Truth be told, the inside was more horrendous. Dirty carpet took over the living room where more and more cigarette swirls followed him around. The sermon hadn’t finished but the volume was definitely lowered. Besides preaching, the hacking of the one ruining themselves greeted both. No words, just hacking, coherent enough for you to understand. Almost as if it was a language of its own.

“He’s gonna wait until daddy comes back to get some gas, I’ll give him something to eat.” Received with a grunt and more hacking, obvious enough the other person wasn’t pleased with him in their home. You didn’t say anything anymore but it was obvious that whatever was interpreted, it wasn’t nice.

There was nothing special about the inside of the home. More crosses and religious imagery took shelter in the tattered wooden walls.

God, what a horrible home.

That wasn’t all that decorated the walls. In some areas, family pictures glared at him in hopes he’d leave. Not welcoming in any sense. But there was nothing special about the house, nothing in this farm was special.

Not the omniscient feeling of being watched and judged. Not the singing congregation on screen, and not the horrendous kitchen he walks in. Every inch, full of meats and dairy ready to be taken into town to be sold. Nothing special.

"Nana don't like guests.” Pointing at the counter next to an empty chum, Jeno leaves the bucket of milk there. “But as long as she don't see you, you’ll be fine.” The awkward pity smile turns joyful when you look at him, leaning against the sink. He mimics it, whispering a "Thank." he doesn't believe he should’ve uttered overall.

An overwhelming smell of spices tickle his nostrils, he figures it's the meat and what came from the oven. Ignored by the image of land before him, brighter than the grass patches he stepped on from the barn to the home.

There weren’t many trees besides a large one with a tire swing attached by old rope. A long overdo change of twine. Just like trees, no houses either. It was simply this dinky place only. He doesn’t think it’s beautiful but it is better than the ranch he had to work at in Paris or the one in Valentine.

“Beer?” Your voice removes his focus from the window, looking at the steaming plate in your hand and wide eyes, almost puppy-like. He found to like that, a smile forming on his lips seeing them glisten. “Yeah.” You return the gesture, placing the plate at the head of the kitchen table, back to the fridge where you take a can and open it for him. 

You sat on the chair beside him, cheek to your palm, watching him fondly like this is a rare sight to see. A fantasy you're dreaming of and one he's playing with. Jeno smiles at that, a soft laugh leaving him the while he raises the can to thank you once more. It was awkward to say the least but he knows he'll have his fun.

“You’re a good cook.” He nervously laughs, taking a sip of his beer to down the grease. “Really?” You perk at his words, hands to the table and an excited smile as you lean closer to him. Precisely how he figured you'd react.

“Mama thinks I have much to work on. She says I add too much spice but I think she only says it 'cause daddy finishes the food when I cook but hers lasts until church.” An animated giggle left your lips, feeling more comfortable in his presence. He liked that, he liked seeing your cheeks round every time you smile or laugh, or your eyes shutting when he compliments you.

“My mom would say you’re ready to get married. She jokingly told my sister and months later she booked it to DC with this fancy pants. Now she doesn’t let me cook, she fears I’ll do the same.” You both laugh at the anecdote, your hand gracing his, something he won’t dismiss.

“So what were you doing around here? No one ever takes that road.” Your hand didn’t move, inching closer and closer, something he looked at with a growing grin.

Swallowing the piece of chicken in his mouth, his back straightens. “I start a construction job soon so I took a few days to enjoy the beach. It’s a little murky and cold but Galveston is all I can afford for now.” He laughs, playing your game and gracing your knuckle. Covering it with the motion of picking up another hash brown wedge and plunging it in his mouth.

“I've never been to the beach. Mama says the lagoon is better than the beach and it’s more decent.” You shrug, “It’s dirty and stinky from where the cows go in so I don’t see what she does.” A pout replaces the smile on your lips, slumping over the table, only pushing your hand further into his. Jeno musters another laugh before taking one of your fingers into his own.

He wonders how your lips would feel against his. More so when you reach for a strawberry in the basket next to the napkin holder. Jeno watches your every move, admiring the small bite of the berry, your lips wrapping around it and having a tiny sliver of juice trickle down the corner of your lips. He’ll have to lick it clean, essentially.

“I could take you if you want.” He mentions flirtatiously, taking the leftover berry from your fingers to get a taste himself. His plump lips turned red, suckling on the juices to avoid your mistake. Your teeth took your bottom lip under them, legs closing slowly at the image before you. 

“Mama won't let me. Not with a stranger.” Right, he was a stranger after all. He found this comical, mainly because you had warmed up to him instantly.

Laughing, “I’m becoming less of a stranger now aren’t I, sweetheart?” He grasps your arm, the tickling warmth pricking your skin deep to the bone. If his touch felt this way, what about him?

“Where you headed to after?” “Austin.”

“Oh daddy says it’s full of— well, Pastor Mark said we shouldn't use foul words.”

If only you could read his mind and what he’d ought to do to you. 

"Mama said it’s full of whores, though.”

You couldn’t say other words but whore was fine? He’s not surprised. Matter of fact, he receives this with a laugh. “I’ve heard so.” He shakes his head with a smile on. 

“More food?” You offer, he immediately denies. Jeno agrees it's delicious, but immensely fatty for only one in the afternoon, even if he scarfed it down. “Pecan pie, then?” He denies desperately again. You’ll have to kick him out rolling if he ate so.

“Please? Just one bite…” You pout pleadingly, those same eyes he liked earlier, staring into his dark ones. Damn them for he has fallen for your antics. “Maybe just a taste.” He reluctantly answers, your glee making the annoyance fade away. 

Giggles escape through the crevices of your teeth, scooping the warm crust and filling onto the metal spoon. It was as warm as the pie, but cool against his tongue. The sweetness of the filling is intense but acceptable. He wondered if this is how you liked it. Tooth aching and warm with no ice cream.

Maybe this is how your tongue tasted.

“Mm, so sweet…” Almost like a hymn while looking straight into your eyes. “Mama’s recipe. I tweaked it a bit.” Your gaze doesn't falter, bodies closer than before. He took this as an opportunity to take a hold of your hand. The small touches —although fast paced— were becoming unbearable and all he wanted to do was have you in his arms. Your light touches, stares, and smile were driving him crazy. He could kiss you — was it not for the elder in the other room. 

A harsh thud from the other room prevents anything to come into fruition, and in a frenzy you stand up. Perhaps he thought too lowly of your grandmother's mobile ability and too lowly of your care that he sighs heavily as he rises to his feet with faux helpful pleasure.

But the worry he thought he saw on your face was wiped with the harshness of your voice, like that of someone scolding a child. He couldn’t hear anything but the tone was firm enough. On occasions, harsh whispers and scoldings were audible between hacks.

“Whores go to hell.” “Give it a few days, you should know.” Your words left in between gritted teeth leaving her in silence, the sermon on the television increased its volume like when he first arrived. He wondered what had led to that, but he couldn’t blame your reaction. The lady had been a nightmare without even talking to her directly.

Returning to the kitchen with an ashtray and cans of beer, the look on your face was one of annoyance. You tried hiding it from him with a smile but the fire in your eyes remained. The only thing that made you forget your grandmother, was seeing him doing the dishes — something you rushed to stop.

“Oh, please don’t. I got this, you can just sit.” Jeno felt the whiplash hit him. One second you were angry and sad, and now you're panicked. Practically begging him to stop on something so menial.

He should know better. Especially with how easily you were to open up to him. But, when his interest is not with how you feel rather with how quick he can get what he wants, Jeno would rather staple on those rose tinted glasses — just like you have.

“It’s no problem at all, anything to take some responsibility from you.” The dried side of his hand caresses your cheek, an embarrassed grin replacing your worried pout. “I appreciate it but mama won’t like it. You’re a guest, I can’t let a guest do this.” There was a hidden panicked whine in your voice, he wanted to drown it and wonder how much deeper it could go. If you weren’t so pretty and enticing, he wouldn’t be there to begin with. 

Stapled heart shaped rose tinted glasses.

“You talk so much about her, but she’s not here. I doubt she’ll notice.” 

Your gaze lifted with his words. The warmth in your eyes was not there anymore, almost as if he had struck a nerve. The seconds felt excruciatingly long in the silence of your heavy glare — albeit, nervous, as well. The creaking floorboards in another room making it worse. He figured your mother was a sore subject, but he can't find it in himself to care for this to continue.

“She’s on a church retreat, should be in Midland or Odessa by now. They’re going all around the state to leave the word of God.” The Almighty's name broke away your gaze from him. “Sissy went with her but they told me I had to stay to take care of nana and daddy.” That whine was back, bitter this time.

Jeno was beginning to understand your role in the family. He didn’t care much for it but it was entertaining for now; not everyone opens up this quickly. Besides, it's not like you’re angry you weren’t performing your religious duties, you just wanted to get off this damn farm rather than deal with the mess it is.

“How old are your siblings?” He turns to you, drying off his hands while you now put away the dishes. “Sissy is thirty and Bubby— my brother turned ten last month.”

“How about you?”

Turning to him and lowering your arms from the cabinets, a bright grin is shown. 

“Legal.” That is all Jeno had to hear. 

Soon as he was to approach you, you turn to the back door. “I’m going back to the barn. Daddy will be madder than a wet hen if I don't finish my chores.” He took this as an invitation even if it wasn’t. There was no way he was staying in there while every crevice yells at him to get out or be stuck with your geriatric grandmother. Who knows, maybe she’ll hack in his face if he dares to greet her personally.

No, you won’t leave him alone in that horrid home.

Trailing behind you with rushed steps, you swing turning to look at him. “You know, mister… you’ll have to help if you oughta stick by me.”He nodded knowing he had no intentions on doing it well. If he slacked off maybe you’ll grow annoyed and forget the conditions. 

“Great. In that case, you’da clean the pigsty.” 

Pigsty? Perhaps staying with your grandmother wasn’t so bad. 

To be frank, Jeno did not want to help. He only reluctantly agreed in order to get more brownie points with you. He felt like goldilocks; he’s eaten your food, enjoyed the comfort of the kitchen, but now he wants a perfect bed to lie in. Preferably with you on top or below him, but for that he can’t just take it, he’s not a monster after all. The bears are awake and bright, he has to win the cub over. 

Through the passing of time and his constant gagging from to the horrid smell, Jeno was coming closer to giving up. Things got worse when cleaning the corners. All were stained with an oxidized red he didn’t know too well but was weary of. The initial stench was only worse with this discovery. He had been too immersed in the filth that he hadn’t realized the red splatter across the wood.

The pigs hadn’t left him alone the past near two hours. They tried biting him many times but the shovel in hand coming in contact with their head made them pull away with a harsh squeal.

Their hunger seemed to become worse, and when fending them off, Jeno can only focus on the horrid feeling beneath his foot and crack that came with it. Alerted when the pigs rushed to his feet, making him tumble enough to see slimy red under his heel and fresh blood ooze from where he had stood. Jeno didn’t have time to curse the pigs, left in horror when he noticed he had stepped on a few developing eggs, a matter squashed under his heel and sticking to it.

No worry for these horrid animals; these beasts carelessly devoured the matter grotesquely.

He knew pigs were filthy animals, heinous and the most disgusting but he never thought to this extent. To see them gleefully munch and lick the soft red lumps was making his stomach churn. Hearing their mocking snorts as the cartilage grinds from their teeth. Red stains they flash his way before snorting again.

His intestines push up his throat and mirror the chitlins he had seen on the porch earlier. Was this what they were trying to do to him with every thrown bite? Those snorts and grins were nothing but a mockery of fate. Telling him he has saved himself this once.

This once.

The cow on the other side stares at him, almost communicating that he should get over it and man up, this was the farm life. As patronizing as your grandmother, she huffs, laying in the corral — hers was clean. Cows, ever so sacred and understanding of their fate.

Soon enough the mother of those eggs came in. A clueless goose, with no mind to the devouring pests until the shells she created with much pain came into view. Her desperate pecks and significantly loud honks deafened anyone. Yet, the pig kicked at her like he had done to them. Futile; her creations were gone.

The beak left some lesions on their thick hairy flesh, but nothing could make them grown a sense of guilt. If anything, the depravity of one made it turn to nip her neck, enough for the goose to fall limp.

Jeno couldn’t handle it. There was no need for him to experience this. Indignantly, he rushes out the barn with a look of disgust and breathing in the fresh outdoors air, cleansing his sinuses of the filth pigs create.

Resting his hands —with a tremble he had not noticed— on his knees, gagging at the memory, Jeno tries hard to breathe properly. He’s on edge and anything will throw him off, just like the soft touch on his lower back. Startled, Jeno turns with a harsh grip on the hand, eliciting a pained groan. “I— was just checking to see if you’re okay.” Your voice was careful and eyes frightened.

“I’m sorry, darlin'. I didn’t mean to— you startled me.” He pants, hand running to his thumping chest. Your own hand took a hold of his forearm, worry plastered on your face.

“Come on, let’s get this cleaned.” Confusion and annoyance was filling him. Jeno didn’t understand what you were talking about, he was almost worried you were meant finishing the pigsty together and there is no way in hell he was going near those beasts again.

“What are you talking about?” He questions with a harsher look and tone, enough to startle you. “The cut on your arm…” You calmly explain, but there was a brewing disappointment with his attitude that was made him grown more irritated.

You weren't allowed to see him as anything else than what he's been showing you. No. 

Jeno hadn't grasped the severity until he saw a large gash on his forearm. It didn’t hurt, wasn't aware when he got it but it was slowly trickling with thick dark beads of blood unlike the stream from the eggs and then their mother's neck.

A sense of dread filled Jeno the while you drag him inside the house. He couldn’t help comparing himself to the pigs who didn’t react to the goose's poking until they had enough. Almost like he had with your nagging.

But he was no pig. He's no damn pig, and should not feel this dreaded guilt. At least not when he has not yet done any damage. 

You were nagging him about something that he didn’t bother listening to. He had put up with you long enough and there was no delicious whining to your tone which did nothing but irking him further.

The plate of chitlins was replaced with fresh ones and cobwebs in the corner of the overheads were gone. The clothes on the drying line were also gone, the empty wire was a sight for sore eyes to him but not as much as the figure in one of the windows that made him jump in his step, jolting his arm out of your grasp so he could hold onto his thumping chest.

Messy and filthy Jeno. Can he not see he has now stained your last pair of clean work clothes? Ungrateful, pesky guest.

He knew the house was old, and things were odd since arriving, but the occurrence in the barn and this was driving him mad. As far as he knew it was just you and your grandmother in this farm. And, there's no way the woman that could only hack to communicate had cleaned outside let alone rush to the attic simply to glare at him.

“What?!” You ask confused and justifiably as annoyed as him. He was being fairly rude as a guest and you knew mama wasn’t going to like this. Most of all, you didn’t want nana to be right about him. That hag should never be proven right. 

He wanted to describe what he saw, yet the words wouldn’t leave his mouth and his limbs froze in place. His tongue formed a knot and he was unsure of how that was possible. Unfairly, it felt like barbwire the longer he tried to unravel it. Scraping the pink muscle and leaving its geographic marks.

Jeno could swear it was that woman in the attic. Wearing a white dress, almost prairie like, covered in the same splatters he saw on the barn’s wood. Her gaze followed his every move, terrorizing him furthermore. It's far more uncanny that he can't get a clear look of her face, blurred every time he tries to look at her directly. He turns to you, eyes practically begging you to help and see with your own eyes. But when he looks back up, she not there anymore, making him seem like a fool before you.

"God bless your heart." You scoff, pulling him inside the home, muttering something under your breath while he regains his. He feels foolish and lost. Oxygen had left his brain for too long, feeling like he was losing this game he created and which you willingly went along with.

The house was of no help, deliberately mocking him. Showing that it knows he's weary of nothing and he's simply a coward. The feeling of angered impotence intensifies the while you drag him towards the bathroom. Your grandmother's hacking is refined and clear to him now. It's not simply a cough, it's a cackle that haunts him, louder with every step.

She's laughing at him, she is being proven correct about him.

Everything mellows out when you slam the door behind him. The scratching of his brain and tongue leave. The static that rings in his ears and sermons are completely gone. This rickety dark bathroom proves to be his own saving grace and with a heavy sigh he thanks it. A "You're welcome." returned to him in morse code by the flickering light bulb hanging by a cord on the ceiling.

Your movement is noticeably hostile. Stretching the gauze to the point of nearly ripping each fiber, drowning cotton in rubbing alcohol and pressing it delicately on the wound just to increase the pressure. Jeno winces, eyes shutting from the sting. It's torture, he knows it is but he does not think it's on purpose.

The hostility forces the safety barriers to decay; your grandmother's TV sermon seeps through the cracks and crevices to bury into his wound and sting further. Jeno doesn't think he's ever been this miserable in his life. Not even on the long periods of forced labor by his father as a child. Was it not for his interest in you, he would've remained in that damn truck.

Right, his interest in you. Jeno isn't in your best graces at the moment, evident in the way you rub soaked cotton balls around the wound. Not as bad as the first time but still painstaking.

"I'm sorry, love." He breaks the silence, drowning the preacher's muffled voice. You grumble in response with a shrug. He doesn't back down, taking your hand into his before you can keep on punishing him with alcohol soaked cotton balls. The action only makes you glare at him, albeit it doesn't last long, slowly fading with the playful pout and wink he sends your way.

You don't outright say the words, but he can tell it's forgiven with the tone of your following words. "So what's the city like?" He sets your hand free, your rubbing of his wound proving you could be delicate. Jeno bites the inside of his cheek, holding back any resentment and weakness.

"Loud, crowded, people rushing everywhere and into big skyscrapers." His free hand pushes away the fly-aways from your braids. Some strands sticking to your cheeks. He hadn't realized how hot and humid the restroom was. Jeno chalked his sweating to the reaction from your petty cleansing and freighted soul.

"But?"

He laughs, patting your cheek. "But at night the lights are bright, music is loud, clubs are booming, and cinemas are full. You've been to a cinema?" A rhetorical question that you still answer. "What is it?"

Jesus Christ, how sheltered have they kept you?

"Really? It's where you go and watch movies on a big screen. Have you ever watched a movie, even?" You shrug with a nod. "Yes… but, only the ones the channel on TV run."

"In dark times such as these, we must all remember to look to the Lord for guidance." Your grandmother's sermon grew louder, blaring under the shut bathroom door.

"Well, some cinemas are huge. It gets nice and dark, you sit down with a cup of pop and eat popcorn. I went last week to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Alice, Sweet Alice. They had a revival event going on." He leans closer, similar to earlier in the kitchen. "And there's also drive-in's. I like those more, you get nice and comfortable in the truck or the bed and… you get to have some fun…" The latter he whispers, breath fanning against your cheek. You could feel his free hand caging you in.

"Resist the Devil…"

By the graces of God, you turn to face the sink, washing your hands viciously. Maybe it's the sin in your head, maybe your grandmother was right, but this man is nothing but Satan personified trying to lure you as it has with Eve.

"I could take you." He laughs, wrapping his arms around you just to deceive by joining in washing his own hands. "We can lay out some blankets in the bed. The cabin is spacious enough, if privacy is better." He laughs, each word prickling your skin. Any grime from the pig pen leaving his body as he releases those words. It feels liberating to an extent, painful the second he registers his hands prickled from the nearly boiling water.

He pulls his hands away, eyebrows furrowed when yours remain as if you were in thought. No signs of pain. If you weren't so endearing and alluring to him, he would not feel guilty for thinking you're insanely weird.

"Mama won't let me." Glumly you respond, wiping you hands dry. He hums along the creaking floorboards, feeling your warm hands against his injured arm, wrapping the gauze around the wound. His finger goes under your chin, forcing you to look at him. "She's not here is she?" Pity swaddles every word.

The increasing volume of the sermon and creaking floorboards leave you silent for longer. That impotence he felt earlier, clinging to you when it's all heard too near for your liking. "I guess not…" Your timidity leaves with each whispered word, a semblance of peace anchoring itself the closer Jeno gets. The more silent the floorboards became.

"…And he will flee from you!" The preacher's attempts are futile the second Jeno chuckles. Pearly whites shining under the yellow bulb before you feel his plump lips cling onto yours. It's shocking and strange. His lips are too wet and cold despite the horrid summer heat but they're also soft and they force a tingle that brews from your stomach down between your legs.

Like a sinner with no redemption, you sigh against his mouth. Arms wrapping around his toned torso, warm and hard under your flesh. Jeno seems pleased with this reaction, one he rewards with snaking his tongue inside your mouth and lapping your own. It's sweet and bitter, the mixture of pecan pie and lingering beer still there. Nothing unfamiliar.

His hands knead your ass desperately, finding a way to cup your bottom and hoist you on the sink; Jeno nestles himself between your legs. Insatiable as the beasts he denounced, Jeno can't seem to separate himself from you. Hands in a frenzy kneading any skin he can feel and lips latch to yours despite how much his lungs beg for air.

It's not granted to him until his fingers fumble with the clasps of your overall, attempting to take them off with no avail when you push him back. "Promise you'll take me with you?" Panting you utter, pecking his lips. He reciprocates them in attempts to deepen the kiss again. "Of course." He rushes, kissing you once more. Fruitless, because you can't seem to drop it and he's growing irritated with every hesitation.

"I'm serious." It's clearer and with no waver in your tone. Jeno takes notice of it but doesn't dwell on it, not when he can feel the warmth between your bodies increase. "I promise, love." He forms a cross over his heart and one with his fingers that touch his lips. It's blasphemous and makes you feel sickly aroused.

You cup his face, pulling him in for a hungry kiss. It's messier than those prior and his use of too much tongue doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how good it feels to have him dry hump you. The denim you both wear makes it painfully pleasurable. This is what sin truly must feel like, you figure. You know it is.

Jeno attempts to unclasp your overalls again. And again you halt the action, much to his displeasure that his eye twitches to his understanding.

"Here?" You ask trepidatiously. "Yeah." He shrugs, doing his best to hold in the agitation. "It's inconvenient… uncomfortable." His fingers rake through the raven locks, scratching a little too hard. "Lead the way, then." He sighs heavily, moving back to help you off the sink.

Jeno knows he's being irrational and a dick. The thought of the beasts back in the barn haunt him with the way he's acting with you. He hates the way his brain is forcing parallels between the two when he knows he's nothing like them.

The lapse between the bathroom and wherever you're leading him outside of the home was met with your grandmother's hacking becoming louder. Mixing between rage and begging for something that only caused you to dig your nails into your thighs. The grumbling from earlier returns, just as inaudible as prior. It's maddening but anything within these acres will make you feel so.

One thing is for sure. Jeno has caused something that meant that hag lost whatever him and her had unconsciously begun. And Lord, does it feel fucking good…

His pride blinds him the way the sun had done when he first arrived. Further confused when he notices clothes back on the clothesline, this time muddied and… bloodied? Solid specs of something cling to the cloth, dehydrated immediately by the sun.

While questions pop in his head, his need for an orgasm is far bigger. He doesn't care if the clothes are disgusting and hanging on something meant for clean clothes. He doesn't even care that they've popped up when no one but you could have placed them there, yet you've been with him for a significant amount of time to do so. And as far as he knows, the wheel chair next to your grandmother's recliner prove that she can't even roll down the porch's steps.

Jeno is blinded by lust and pride. Five more sins to black out from the list.

It's fairly nice in the shed you dragged him to. The wood seems newer than the one that composes the main home and the barn. It's waxed and polished. It reminds him of the trailer home he shared with three other coworkers when working in Ruidoso. Oddly cold for New Mexico.

You seem to have caught on to his curiosity, wrapping your arms around him, leading him onto the bed. "We had a worker. Nice guy until he started to rid of the animals." That should explain the splatters in the barn. They looked too large to only be the doing of the pigs.

"You never truly know people…"

Three.

A slight push is enough to sit him on the bed, rebound present in the spring's creaking. His eyes fixate on your hands, the way they waltz over the overall's hardware. Nimble fingers swaying with them to cruelly drop it and move onto the next. Jeno doesn't mind, he welcomes it with a grin and his bottom lip trapped by his upper teeth. Increasing the crimson hue of his flesh.

He leans back on his palms, the stretch of his limbs cause a sting on his gauze cladded arm. It's bearable if it means he gets to enjoy the striptease he was promised.

It's a loud thump against the floorboards by the heavy denim and hardware that force him to look at your bottom half. Eyes raking the smoothness of your legs to the frail and thinning panties. He notices some loose threads, overshadowed by the satin pink rose in the middle that scream at him for a touch.

"Would'ya do me the honors?" You ask, fingers toying with the delicate buttons of the shirt. The top button must've been undone when he was busy ogling your nearly see-through worn panties. He chuckles, sitting up only a mere inches to get a glance at your present cleavage. The buds of your nipples teasing the further you pull down on the grotty fabric.

"Don't I deserve to have you do it after getting wounded? No veteran discount?" You shake your head, "No. You ain't finish your task and you're distracting me from mine."

Jeno takes this gracefully, amused, even. He laughs, properly sitting up, with his hands on his lap and more blood staining the gauze. "Well, I'm sorry, sweetheart. I guess you're right." It's slightly patronizing —fake, if he's honest— masked by the comedic relief he felt after being here for a few hours.

Fingers feel rougher than prior. He makes sure to tease and taunt in the process of sliding his digits down the fabric. Some touches 'sliding' off onto your skin for a feel of flesh. It's warm and sticky, sweat slowly drying off but visually present. It smells like a warm angry summer that leaves you never wanting to experience it again but you embrace when it returns — torturously familiar.

When Jeno finishes working on your buttons, he lets the fabric fall slack off your shoulders. You stare at him, his attempts to distract you by unbuttoning his own flannel work. Jeno is fast with it, much desperate and unruly to the point you hear some stitches popping here and there.

He's as glorious as Satan had been. The image of a fallen angel sculptured to be perfect by the hands of God personified before your eyes. He's as tempting as the fruit of Eden and if you've fallen before, you'll fall once more.

Your hands perch on his pecks, nails softly raking through the taut skin. He smirks, reveling in the feel so pleasurable to him.

Jeno takes your distraction as an opportunity to latch his fingers onto the elastic of your panties, slowly pulling the fabric down your legs. He lets out a pleased hiss, licking his lips upon noticing the slickness that clings to your lower lips and the fabric.

Neither speak, everything is comprehensible enough with the way you look at each other. The hunger of a wolf enticing him to the delirious sheep staring in curiosity. Unaware it is only another wolf in sheep's clothing.

He takes the bait, grinning at you the while pulling you forward roughly, his warm hand clinging to the soft mound of your ass as his boot clad feet tap your heels apart. His mouth feels hot against your stomach, and his tongue delicious as it licks wherever he kisses.

Your fingers thread through his locks, scraping in anticipation with every nip on your hips. A shudder when his mouth closes on the mound of your pelvic bone, followed by a desperate moan. Jeno has hit gold.

It feels awkward at first, his nose rubbing against you while his lips kiss between your legs. It slowly feels better with the stimulation his tongue provides.

Jeno is more interested in the silent moans you let out. In the way your head throws backs following with a tug at his locks. That is what brings him pleasure, the kind that he rewards by wrapping his plump lips around your clit, sucking to stimulate you further and keep this vicious cycle going.

He doesn't know what it is that makes you taste so deliciously different than the many others he's had before. A certain sweetness that lingers in his tongue when it swipes through your labia. Parting them to inspect every crevice with the soft muscle.

The writhing of your body in between his is something else he has discovered to like. There's a certain thrill which brews within him knowing his grip is what keeps you flush against him. If he wants to let you go, he will. If he doesn't, he won't. That's the control those arms you enjoy so much grant him. It's not like you want him to let you go either. That same depravity fills you, furthering the feeling of playing tag where both win or lose no matter what.

With such a foreign activity, it doesn't take you long to come undone from his mouth. Shuddering as he sheathes his tongue within you. It's a strange feeling, to have him open you up with his tongue and lap at the aftermath of your orgasm. To have his eyes so intently on you as you moan, howling in pleasure followed by scratches to this biceps and arms.

You're not telling him to stop, you're begging him to continue torturing you into overstimulation. But he rather torture you otherwise by pulling back, cum and saliva connecting you both. The image is tempting enough to have you lean down, capturing his glossed lips. Tongue feeling just as soft and the taste of you moving into your own taste buds.

Jeno moans into your mouth, feeling the tugs at his hair fairly more aggressive. The pleasure going down to his groin, hands rushing to unbutton his jeans and freeing himself from those restraints. One of his hands go between your legs, fingers prodding where his tongue had done earlier.

His fingers work slowly, comfortably sheathing themselves within the velvet walls. He's not intentional with anything, lazily pistoning them, slowly… dragging it out to understand what your inside feel like…

You've never felt this taken care of before, it's always quick and unsavory. Sure, some feel great but many don't. It's always take, take, take. Maybe your grandmother was wrong about Jeno, he's very giving, very doting, very hungry.

Whatever pleasure you felt left within seconds, forcing your eyes open to look at him taking his hand and wrapping it around the painfully erect leaking cock. A hiss leaves his lips with a simple touch, a painful whine that brings you the same delight yours have brought him.

You've allowed him to give so much, perhaps it's best if you return the favor.

Your eyes never leave his moving hand, jerking himself off, wanton moans flood the confines of this shed. He's rough and fast with himself, his fist applying pressure at the bottom of the base and on the tip to expel spurts of pre-come. A sheer layer of sweat, small beads cling to his pecks.

Lowering slowly to not distract him, your knees hit the dusty floorboard, some debris clinging to your sticky skin already. Your shoes had been long gone, his boots still stuck to his feet like the bunched up fabric on his thighs.

Your touch forces his eyes open, feeling awfully selfish for worrying about his pleasure rather than adding more to yours. Despite his intentions all day, he still wanted you to feel great, to have you remember him even when he was gone. Because he was special and he knew you were too.

Your nails rake his legs slowly, a red train left behind as you drag his jeans down to his ankles. He watches you kiss his thighs and knees the while you undo his boots, placing them neatly next to your own shoes. He wonders how often you've done that task, it's always a struggle for the other girls he's been with. Is it in your nature or your duty to remove boots for many men before him? Men outside of this situation, men in authority — respectable men.

It's when your lips kiss a trail up his shaft, shuddering and writhing — the way he has made you — that Jeno halts your actions and his, forgetting his inquiries. Strong and clammy hands clasp your shoulders to pull you back. He stares at your swollen lips, parted ready for another taste. Your eyes dilated as if the taste of him was enough of a strong drug.

Your head dips forward, attempting to get him in your mouth this time, yet he denies the action again, squeezing your flesh softly. "No, I won't be able to hold longer if you do." He cries, helping you up to your feet. A light stumble from the jeans that land you both on the creaking bed.

Perching some pillows, Jeno gets comfortable on the sheets, patting his thigh with a cheeky grimace to signal for you to get on. You return the expression, a giggle added the while you settle your weight on him. A kiss as a reward, his hands on your ass again, kneading softly this time. It's rather soft, more tender than the ones before.

A slap on it breaks the rhythm of this kiss, biting his lower lip from startling you. He laughs, massaging the welted area that doesn't really hurt but stings enough for it to feel good.

He watches your moves, the crouching above him while your hand works up and down his cock, using your thumb to lather his pre-come on it. Smiling skeptically when your lips pucker, letting a strand of spit fall on the tip. His tongue caresses his lower lip, eyes narrowed watching you work, positioning yourself above him before letting the tip tease your entrance.

A breathy sigh leaves him, perching his hands on your hips. Softer, nicer than before. "Not your first time, is it?" He asks calmly, not judgemental nor perverted. You shake you head reluctantly, free hand hovering over his toned torso. He doesn't say anything, simply hums, contemplation on what to think.

The innocent farmer's daughter act finally cracked.

Jeno guides you through it. Hand wrapping around yours leading his cock between your folds. You glance at him, his eyes glued to the connection between you. Shaky breaths slither through ajar lips, louder the second he holds onto your waist, helping you down on him.

Jeno's eyes shut tight feeling the warmth of you around his aching cock. It's a different feeling to you around his tongue. It's a nice stretch, a nice sting. His slow fingering hadn't done much to prepare you for his girth but the feeling of enveloping him unprepared made you feel deliciously full.

You shimmy around, hips gyrating over him the while you get comfortable. Eventually those gyrations become intentional, clinging to his torso while lifting your hips up and down, the friction between both of you forming sheer sheets of sweat on your bodies. Returning that bittersweet fruit.

Jeno wasn't shy in letting you know how good you made him feel. Lips parting and forming an 'O' shape. When they touched it was to give a pleased smile, opening them again to utter sweet nothings that made you hot in the face and lower stomach.

A hardy chuckle leaves him, pulling you in for a kiss, hands kneading the hot flesh of your waist, slowly moving upwards. "Look at you, pretty! You feel so fucking good, baby… Taking me whole, you're pretty like this, definitely fate has lead us together." His words slurred, drunk off the high you gave him. The air in these acres poisoning him further.

You reward him with light kisses that trail down his neck, nipping the salty skin. He smiles, meeting your hips halfway with his own thrusts. Breathy moans leave him, eyes closed drowning in the sensation of the warm mouth and cunt on him.

Strangled they become, writhing under you with the feeling of your teeth scraping over his nipples. Nipping them for the effect of his hips pistoning harder. It's intentional on your behalf, but not unappreciated by him. Rather, Jeno pulls you back with a mock offended grin and an airy laugh. Your gaze faking innocence, pushing his intentions forward.

"Cheeky… Cute." He nods conditioning, acting immediately by latching his mouth on your chest. You laugh, replaced by a loud moan when his teeth cling to your perked nipples. Looking down at him the while he pulls back with a shit eating grin like he "got you". It's a juvenile action, one that means nothing if this didn't make you any more wet and impassioned.

It doesn't take him long to realize what he has done. It doesn't matter either because he can feel your depravity seep into his flesh and his groin, causing that fiery arousal in him to hold onto you harshly. And when you lean down to kiss him, chest to chest, Jeno takes this new angle as an opportunity to lift his hips and fuck into you relentlessly.

This pace or position isn't foreign to you but the delicacy and the detail is. He's calculated when he thrusts forward, rushing to grip your jaw and force you to look at him before allowing his hand to take it's original position on your welted ass.

If you moan, he wastes no time to swallow it, pushing his tongue into your mouth and letting the sound slide down the muscle. And if he plans on being extra nice to you, his thighs lift off the mattress to allow the position to create more friction between your bodies, enough for your swollen clit to garner stimulation that forces cries out of you and those… those Jeno relishes upon with languid kisses that sear each other's lips.

Jeno's thrusts ultimately become sloppy and less volatile, his testicles no longer coming in contact with your bottom and for a second you miss that contact. That searing sting that felt too good but wouldn't voice in the occasion Jeno wanted to punish you by stopping, for teasing.

Ragged moans and skin against skin are the only sounds left within the vicinity of these walls. His thighs burn, the exertion tiring his body but he won't give out until you're finished. For a second, you could swear tears welled in his eyes, some spurts of come painting your walls despite how much he's holding off.

Yet, Jeno knows you're a sweet girl, and when your hands cup his face delicately, bringing your lips to him in a tender and slow kiss, he can sigh contently feeling your body begin to relax over his. One of his hands treading lightly to where you're connected, index and ring finger rubbing rapid but delicate circles over your clit.

It's you now that mimics those tear filled eyes, broken moans against his mouth, and shuddering over him with every rubbed circle. He relishes in the feeling when your cunt clasps around him. Swallowing your last moan as you come on him; he knew he would be damned if you were the one with the upper hand.

He takes it all away almost immediately, laying flat on the bed to rest his burning muscles. His fingers leave you, getting you off him, letting you sit on him the while he jerks himself off rapidly. And within seconds, his scorching spurts of come paint your stomach, dripping down the sweaty skin and down to your pelvic bone.

If he had a camera, he would cherish this moment forever.

There's a heaviness in your chest seeing the image, panting with those tears still welled in your eyes when he pulls you down for a kiss. His poor attempts of being tender not gone unnoticed but will go ignored for an ounce of affection.

Neither utter a word, Jeno laying in the atmosphere of post sex and trying his best to ignore how loud an old TV meters away could get. It's almost unfair that after he has won this little game, your grandmother's antics still linger.

"Resist the Devil and he will flee from you!"

He's not too sure how long you've laid there, with you on his chest and his arm around your body. It feels disgustingly domestic and he's glad he hears tires over gravel that force you off of him immediately.

In a spur of a moment, he watches you jump from the bed to the restroom already modestly clothed in comparison to what you and your grandmother had seen all day. There's no traces of sex or the stench of it on you that leaves him awfully surprised on how quick you could get rid of something he had worked hard to leave traces of.

The feeling deepens the moment you rush to toss his clothes at him, his boots no longer neatly tucked under the bed. "Daddy's home, hurry up!" You hiss at him, smoothing the dress that seems oddly familiar. Albeit, this one is pristinely pearl white and not stained red.

He feels like a mouse in a maze throughout these seconds. Treading lightly, almost tip-toeing around craggy gravel and rancid pasture to avoid being seen by your father and younger brother. He watches you change your mind almost a million times when deciding where to come out from.

Eventually you decide to sneak into the barn, the option causing a shudder out of him with memories of those pigs. He wonders if they're waiting for him, grimaces or maybe mocking grins letting him know his opportunity to escape was gone and now it won't be eggs and geese, it will be him. Like they initially intended it to be.

The bile rising up his esophagus begs for clemency to be let out and stop this obnoxious suffering but your spur of energy won't allow it. Pulling him out of the barn from the front and pushing a bucket into his hand with rotten gruel so disgustingly foul that he doesn't have the courage to ask what you could possibly need this for in the house.

His ears won't stop ringing either, whether it's from this inconspicuous dread that fills him — freight could be a better word — or the pitched hunting call that slowly makes his brain spin, drawing him closer without needing your aid, and a dizziness that fuels his bile's case.

All Jeno knows is how rapidly pleasure can turn into uncertainty. As odd as he finds it, the sun is to blame once more.

"Hiya daddy!" Jeno decrees this is what grounds him slightly, the floor under his feet still feels shaken and the air within these acres feels far worse than before. The poison's effects getting worse and worse.

In a blur Jeno watches you jumpily hug your father, the man's years very present in his face and stance. The sun's kisses obviously over his weathered skin, cuts on his hands from farming from days on end.

He thinks his brain can relax when he looks to the left, a fairly quiet kid with a bat in hand. There's a bow on it, something your father obviously rewarded him with for this trip. Jeno forces a smile when he notices the kid staring intently at him. Not curiously the way kids stare, but in a haunting way, warningly.

"Bubby, new toy?" Your voice breaks the gaze they share, the boy smiles with a nod. He takes your hand, skipping around the while picking up some dust, enough for it to taint Jeno's boots you had carefully managed and for the dust to enter his aching lungs.

He hadn't felt like a stranger this entire time, you instant hospitality and friendliness made him feel as if he knew you and your family for longer than the hours he's been here.

It's your brother's hostility and father's curious glare that make him feel left out. The man spits out his chewed tobacco to the left, somehow finding itself near Jeno's feet. He holds back his grimace, swallowing the spit pooled in his mouth.

"Who's this?" He grumbles, trudging heavily towards the house without tearing his gaze from Jeno. "His truck broke down," You motion with you head outside the gates, his truck nowhere visible. "Needs some fuel, daddy. Got an extra can?"

The older man grumbles again, Jeno silences his own snicker. You're just like your father.

"No. We'll fill it up after dinner, hun." Jeno can't help wince this once, your father's voice disgustingly familiar to how his had been all day with the exception that he expected nothing from you. He shouldn't, he's your father after all.

But nothing changes how suffocating and ill Jeno feels knowing he's slowly morphing into this, this that he hates so much. And if he couldn't expel his bile earlier, this and the image above on the top window sure helped.

His loud lurches and hurls force the three of you to look at him with grimaces. Confusion on your face, indifference on your brother's, and offense on the faces of your father and the figure on the window. The splotches of blood bigger than before. Brighter and fresh.

Jeno thinks it feels worse when you don't rush to his aid like before. He's used and ragged, what he wanted to do with you.

"You oughta wash up, yeah?" That's the most you throw his way, hand hovering over his back but never touching. It's frustrating how your warmth isn't felt either.

Jeno looks at you, then at the window again. There's nothing— again. Nothing for him to blame and to further make him look like a fool. Jeno can't stay here any longer, he needs to get out.

His feet think otherwise, trudging along towards the house while he kicks some dirt over the mess he's made. He winces, gagging occasionally, retrieving it when he catches your father shake his head disapprovingly from the corner of his eye.

"Man up." He's sure that's what he's thinking, sharing a sentiment with the cow.

The instant the threshold of that rickety home is crossed, your grandmother's hacking becomes louder, strained to let out everything she had in her system even if he doesn't understand it but you do. You understand it enough to rush her way and raise the volume of the TV while stuffing her mouth with some cookies she had on her side table.

A seething rage in the way you shove the dry matter into her weathered mouth, with hushed words that Jeno isn't sure he's proud of or concerned that you're showing this brash part to him. This isn't the you he has liked for the time being, he has no interest in knowing you.

Jeno is unable to hear what you tell that wretched woman but he thinks it's bad enough to make her deflate and wince like a kicked puppy. The anger of your words linger in your eyes that attempt to blink away while making your way to the kitchen in a rush.

It's reminiscent of the pace back in the shed. You move through these halls in a pace he can't keep. Clanking and open cans are heard, a sermon so muffled by now that he thanks god for once. Your grandmother's hacking stifled by the cookies she's struggling to dissolve in her mouth. And your brother like the odd little shit he is, stares and stares at him. Tapping his bat against his foot, continuing to chip off the stain until it's gray underneath.

The older offers a polite smile, waving his hand even the while he rocks on his heels. But the child minds nothing of that, in a state of mild catatonia that only applies to how he interacts with Jeno.

"Alright, daddy, I'll check if there's any." Your voice snaps him out of it, smiling your way as you lead him to the restroom so he can freshen up. There's an authoritarian pep to your step, distressed and too mature for how you had been with him — prior to their arrival — that he didn't like. He thinks the dress only adds onto this persona you've picked up.

And the while he washes his mouth clean of the contents of his stomach, Jeno notices the way you stare at him through the mirror. A semblance of worry as you chew on the skin of your lower lip.

"What is? Round two?" He attempts to tease, his chuckle comes out broken instead. When he's met with that same blank stare your brother had given him, Jeno swirls in his spot before spitting out the mouthwash.

He leans against the sink, the trimming digging into his lower side. "What is it, love?" He asks seemingly concerned. Your eyes flicker to his, mouth twisting to a side before sighing.

"I just don't know how to tell daddy that I'm leaving with you today."

What?

"What?" Jeno's eyebrows furrow, standing up properly. "You should help me pack actually." The glimmer in your eyes make him feel sick again, the grimace on his face growing.

"Today? Baby, I don't have a place of my own yet. I can't have you live with me in a trailer home with three other men, can I?" Jeno thinks of all the excuses he can muster to kill this stupid idea you have.

He offered to take you to a stupid movie, not to live with him.

"You promised…" your voice meek, eyes settling on his offended ones. He doesn't recall ever doing such thing, but he will lie if he has to. "I know, I know, baby… I'll come back for you though, yeah?" His hand reaches your arm, soothingly rubbing the clothed skin — an unfamiliar image.

"I'll come back for you, I promise." And it's disgustingly believable that your guts churn, twisting with an inexplicable anger.

"You promised you would take me." It's not whiny nor meek. Your voice is strong enough to be heard outside these walls and for the words to cement themselves in his ears. Jeno can't differentiate if what he feels is trepidation or frustration. Why is it so difficult for his words to get through your head? It's not natural for someone to get this attached to someone they met a few hours ago.

"And I will… I will, but not now. Let me get settled on my own first and I'll come back for you, darling. In the meantime I'll come visit every weekend." He smiles ridiculously, confident it will work on you. The stupid, inept farmer's daughter that will do what he wants. What everyone wants.

Jeno watches you sigh, nodding while a slow smile forming. "You're right. you're right." You relent with a content resigned smile, one he mimics finally complacent. "That's my girl." He hums, cupping your face and connecting his lips to your temple. "I'll go check my truck in the meantime."

He strides over to the door, flinging it open to have you follow behind. Your grandmother's hacking laughter is what pushes away whatever semblance of tranquility you had within you. Before he can manage to leave the house, you hold his wrist — a little too tight in comparison to any of your grasps.

"Mind helping Bubby check if there's a canister of oil from the basement? They're too heavy for him to bring up." The sweetness in your voice returns, satiating whatever Jeno clung onto from first meeting you. He's reluctant of course, his body aches and he'll go insane if he spends any time with your weird little brother.

But he has to remain in your graces if he wants to leave peacefully. So he nods, smiling tightly and having you lead him towards your brother that stands in between the threshold of the kitchen and the basement door.

The boy kicks something into the corner, Jeno can't get a good look of it but it has a foul odor and the squelching is loud enough for either to hear. You pay no mind which makes it eerie when the boy manages to cover it with the brand new bat.

"Bubby, daddy needs a canister. He'll help you, okay?" The boy doesnt respond, he simply unlocks the door to the damp and dark basement, brushing past Jeno with a shove that nearly makes him stumble. You give him an apologetic smile, gaze lingering for a while.

There's an uncomfortable silence that rises the hairs on the nape of his neck, the longing in your eyes makes him shift uncomfortably that Jeno can only think to kiss your temple again to rid of this moment. Your grasp on his wrist softens, squeezing softly before nodding to the door. Your brother had long been down there in the dark.

When he looked back to see if you were still there, Jeno's breath hitches in the back of his throat. The odd familiarity between that woman in the attic and you formed a pit in his stomach the further he went down these stairs.

He makes small talk, nervous and quivering when the wood continues to dip under his step. Your brother doesn't respond to any of this and Jeno curses under his breath. Not an ounce of light has touched this place and he's unsure of how Bubby has found his way around.

Jeno nearly stumbles when your brother turns a lantern on, shining the underside of his face. For a second he finds familiarity between your brother and the woman that he could only see in blurs.

"Easy, bud. You scared me." He jokes, hand clutching his chest with labored breaths, attempting to pat the child's shoulder before he dodges the contact.

"Your sister is real sweet…" Jeno continues his attempts. "I like her, you know." There's almost a semblance of truth in his voice that anyone else could believe, but children aren't as easy to manipulate. Your brother halts in his spot.

Jeno thinks he's getting somewhere, smiling in relief when the boy looks up at him. His face doesn't show any signs of hostility but he's also not lax about the news. Jeno can't really blame him, especially if he knew how much of a dog Jeno was.

"I'll swing by next week. Anything you think she'll like?" "You all say the same darn thing."

Jeno thinks a kick to the balls would hurt less. No, scratch that, he's not hurt but he's utterly confused and almost freighted with the way your brother clearly states those words.

No hesitation, no childlike tone. He's well spoken and angry.

He swivels around, continuing like nothing but Jeno swears there are eyes on him now. It's reminiscent of the time he went hunting with his father once. How hungry and depraved the older man looked when finding some fawn and how Jeno pretended to root for his father.

A pit forms in his stomach the way it did then.

"I do like her, buddy." Jeno tries to laugh it off even when his voice quivers on its own. Your brother doesn't immediately respond, pointing up at the canister that in Jeno's opinion was fairly light enough. No reason for him to come all the way here when your brother could have pulled up a chair.

"Just like brother in law… just like everyone."

His ears ring, watching the way the brother takes the canister from his hands like nothing. Feather light with a tight grasp that Jeno has never managed to have.

The child's strides were fast, skipping past him with an odd melody humming off his lips. With every one of his steps, the stairs creak, singing that same melody — pushing Jeno further into that feeling he's been straining.

"Do you even know her name?" The boy chides, stepping heavily on a step enough for the wood to crack. Jeno feels his soul leave his body, the step bellow his teasing him as to tell him that his is next. He shall fall with the weak wood, as weak as him.

The boy giggles, jumping onto the other step. Jeno didn't know your name and it hadn't dawn upon him that he's given empty promises to someone virtually anonymous. This shouldn't ache as much as it does, but it makes him feel the weight of his sleaziness. He's hit a new low.

"Mama don't like bad guests." He lets out in a sing song while unscrewing the cap of the canister. Jeno can't act fast enough to stop him from pouring out most of the liquid or from intentionally dropping the canister. Running up the remaining steps with loud cries, tears immediately pouring out enough to drag you to the top of the steps.

The worry on your face is clear as day. Hands cradling the crying child for any signs of foul play, but for him you'll always believe anything he says.

"What happened, Bubby?" "The can, it fell… it was too heavy."

Your soft gaze drops, turning to Jeno with a cold glare he could never expect from you. Those soft features he has learned to enjoy are gone and there's a meanness to your puckering lips that make him feel sick.

"That wasn't nice of you—" "What? Love no. I- he took it—"

Jeno slips a few steps back, holding onto the concrete walls — the material ragging his hands and nails. He winces, holding his fingers in his mouth; muffling his words. "I had it, he took it from my hands. I didn't make him do anything." Jeno defends, managing his way to the top in slow strides, holding onto the same walls that are making his palms bleed.

"That wasn't nice of you…" you repeat, softly like he likes. He sighs, looking down at the boy in your arms that grins his way in between cries. Jeno attempts to defend himself again, reaching for your shoulder just to be rejected the way your brother had done.

Rejection… it's a disgusting and vile feeling. The one that clogs your throat and poisons the acid in his stomach making it far more painful to spew. Indignantly, his voice pitches. "You can't be serious?" He scoffs, trying again, to be once more rejected with a sharp hiss.

"It's not nice of you to treat a child like that." Jeno rolls his eyes, hands on his hips staining the denim. He shakes his head, a scoff louder than prior. "And it's not nice of you to take advantage of my generosity." The seething anger in your voice snaps his head up, eyes narrow and awfully offended by your choice words.

"You've been a bad guest and mama don't like bad guests."

Jeno can't process the words he's heard so much throughout his time before he feels the ache of the wooden bat against his shins. The pain increases with another blow to his back, and lastly a push so delicate he can tell that one came from you. He's not sure if what he hears cracking are his bones or the stairs — he reckons it doesn't matter.

The words won't leave his mouth, like a new born he can only complain through moans and cries. His body aches all around, no space more than the other and he wonders if this is what that fawn all those years ago felt like when it wasn't his father nor him that finished its days. How anguished the screams had been, trampled by it's own scared herd and not yet dead when the coyote launched over.

"There's gruel if you get hungry." This wasn't your voice, he doesn't think so, even if it comes from you. Whatever force there's left of him, Jeno stumbles up rushing as fast as he can over the barely stable steps. It's futile, they only end up pushing him off with the help of the oil that stinks beyond belief. It coats his clothes and skins, marking his wrong doings.

And the only thing left for him is to cry at the top of his lungs watching you glare at him. The hands that once held him forming a cross over your heart and kissing the one your fingers make.

His gaze begs you, trembling as he pleads for clemency that does not come; the door creaks shut with the melody your brother and those steps had sung. A voice joins the door once it is shut, a creep crawling through his spine and embodied through his screeching cries.

Peace is gone, the light he didn't know existed in the attic turns on. As yellow as the bathroom light that had been the only true warmth within these walls. And like the prior one, this light can only whisper apologetic: "This is the end, my friend…" directing him towards the creeping figure that has haunted him all this time.

The stains on her dress had completely covered it, a nice crimson he sees on women at night. It's fresh, he can tell this much from the stench it emanates with every step. The splatters on her face and hands show no sign of drying any time soon.

Jeno hadn't registered his surroundings. The stacks of bloodied clothes, flies over them, and the faded polaroids hidden under. He scoots back, his blood running cold all over his body when he notices his extra pair of work boots and jacket his mother had made lazily thrown over with his own polaroid. Freshly taken of him waiting for someone to open the door when he first arrived.

Jeno had never thought he'd be the fawn or the sheep he's hunted in the past. It wasn't in his nature, he's been told all his life, but here he is now. Screaming at the top of his lung with silent prayers that he mimics from your grandmother's sermon playing at full blast.

"The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not be in want!"

The large circle over his face on the picture, red from the blood he's not sure where the woman has gotten it from. It doesn't smear nor disappears under his frantic thumb. His words jumble to drown the woman's croaking. Her cold and harsh grasp cling to his leg the while he attempts to crawl up the stairs that have betrayed him.

"He restores my soul!" But Jeno doesn't have it in him to believe these words which have betrayed him his entire life. What he does believe is the pain in his body that increases with her grasp and own blows. The rancid smell of her breath fanning over his face and it's uncanny how familiar her features are to yours that he never could guess you'd have these nefarious genes.

"You've been a horrid guest… worse than those before and I don't like bad guests…"o

taglist: @ant-onie @cookydream @luv4rj @bacons-thighs @ilikekpop-c @valentinetown @bluedbliss @shiningnono @parkitonandy @the-universe-in-you-jjh @yukisroom97 @ddolbyong @bananinhazz @weiweific @sugaringgcaramel @sweetdreamczennie @revlada @shadysnoopyy @neostraytiny @bizidolly @the-divine-femme-fatale @flaminghotyourmom @fatbixchwithanopinion @mi1kteaa @deny4l4 @aliexsblog @fancypeacepersona @saranghoeforanton @sibwol @94vsmonbebe @hchanslut @bananinhazz @numberoneprincessenthusiast @i-kwosooy @horr0rv4cui @rosierlluv @dior-15 @cathy-1997

[traumainpyjamas]

NCT JNJM \\ Mood Film : WHICH ONE IS YOUR BEST SIDE?