Pest Control :
There's three ways to kill a rat
Number one's the gun, the other, a trap.
But I like the third one best
It has a certain finesse.
You make the rat feel like such a man
You jump when you see him and act like you're scared
You let him strut about your house all day
Pretend he's got the upper hand and you're under his sway
You make a big show of cans you can't open
Let him work away at them till his teeth are broken.
You clean, cosset, cook him the choicest of meats
Let him fall on the sword of his own gluttony.
You tease and you coax and you laugh at his jokes
Until he thinks youre the one, and gets up his hopes.
And then one night ,when he's bone tired
And is waiting for dinner with hungry eyes,
So lulled into complacency he no longer checks for stray knives,
You serve him his dinner.
You watch him scarf it down
Lean close, in that low cut gown
Whisper a word in his ear.
Watch the blood drain from his face in fear .
Watch him run to the toilet, stumbling, retching
For dear life, the wretched thing.
And then when you have him on his knees
Tell him he's always feared the wrong things.
That arsenic cannot kill him twice,
Arsenic isn't a cheated wife.
There's three ways to kill a rat.
The gun, the trap, the good wife gone bad.
- Anatrik ©