#schlut2024

[schlut]

sub schlatt.

YES, great opinion! thank you for the suggestion! I was already planning to write some smut but it took longer than i was expecting, i hope you like it!

2nd person pov; mlm nsfw; schlatt x male reader; dom/sub dynamics, voice kink, humiliation/degradation

he's very vocal

he gets self conscious when he hears his own voice

when a moan escape from his throat, high airy and full of neediness, he tries to hide it

the tension is heavy of desire, you feel it settling into you and taking hold of your body, you involuntarily twitch

you stretch the silence until a lovely redness covers his whole face

you love to get him lost in the pleasure and to make him forget about feeling embarrassed or ashamed

turning him into a mess, empty mind without thoughts

he blushes even more when you're soft with him, comforting and praising him

you don't allow him to cover himself up or muffle his sounds, you treat him like a rare instrument, learning how to play and earn the most beautiful sounds from him

he feels humiliated as his noises increase in volume, it's a sinful circle and you feel drunk from his reactions

"oh god, i should record you so i can jerk off with your voice whenever i want"

"please..." he groans

"what are you begging for, big guy?" you tease

you love to incite even more sounds out of him, your boner hard in your pants everytime he sighs and moans in your ear

you don't know how many times you end up, still fully clothed, with a bare naked schlatt who's writhing in your grasp and eventually spills on your hand

watching him short of breath and panting, you feel like you could come in by only this sight

the first time you go all the way with him he wants to top you

ironically, you're on top of him, on his lap, hugging his shoulders and leaning chest to chest

you press your cock on his stomach while he fingers you, his dick is tickling your balls

he's trying to be assertive and dominant, to make his voice deeper, rough and harsh, but he ends up sounding more desperate than he intends to be

he chokes out gasps between dirty talk, he tries to conceal himself by turning them into low growls

you can hear the submission in his voice, too strong to hide, how natural he falls in the role and how he fights it, too prideful to willingly accept it

the idea of him thinking that penetrating you would make him a dom is very laughable, but you can let him play pretend for a bit

he'll end up moaning the same pathetic way and will try to hide it again

he bites and marks you to mute his noises but it turns easily into open whines against your skin

he holds you by groping your ass, spreading your cheeks so he can fuck up into you

he plants his feet on the mattress lifting himself up deeper inside you, he goes fast and aggressive but uncoordinated

like he's hoping to make you come before he does, like he thinks that's enough

you smile amused while turning your face and brushing your lips on the side of his temple

you place your hand on his throat, pressing your fingers under his jaw

he moans unexpectedly, both from the surprise touch and the pleasure coursing through him from it

you force him to separate from his hiding spot on your neck, to look at you

he slows down while you observe his heated face, he's blushing and incapable to keep eye contact as he stills and squirms under you

you lick your teeth before leaning in, touching his lips with yours softly

you savor the kiss, eating his breaths and sighs, swallowing his high pitch sounds coming from his throat when you suck on his tongue

when you separate again, he's chasing the kiss with closed eyes

you can't help but find him hot in cute way, you feel amused and fond

you push him down, his back against the headboard and the fluffly pillows

you squeeze his neck, he gasps and forgets how to breathe for a moment

you move your hand pressing your thumb inside his mouth and against his tongue, you hold his jaw on your palm as you look in the eyes, amused but predatory

you wet your lips and bite them stopping yourself from grinning maniacally

your hands trail off lower down, groping his chest and squeezing them together

you wonder how much persuasion you'll need to convince him to let you fuck his man tits, but that's a thought for next time

you take control, bouncing on his lap and riding him, you arch your back showing off and touching sensually your body

rubbing your nipples for a bit and pumping your erection, grabbing your balls so he can see his own cock sliding in and out of you

maybe it's a bit cruel to clench your ass, you chuckle as he throws his head against the bed frame with a grunt

you place your hands on his knees, leaning back and holding your weight on them while you set your own pace, you move to get the right angle so he can brush against the sensitive spot inside you

he looks at you on top of him, his expression tight as he thrusts erratically into you, his hips meeting your ass with loud slaps

he comes with a low moan, filling you up and making you feel full as you squeeze every drop out of him

you watch pleasure printed on his face, his grip on you goes limp leaving red handprints on your ass

when he opens his eyes, there are tears at the edges

you lift yourself off of him, unplugging his cum, letting it drip and gush out of you and on his stomach

your dick is still hard, throbbing above him, you peer down at him while touching yourself

you watch each other quietly, with only your twin breaths filling the room

his hair sticks on his sweaty forehead and you unconsciously brush them away

suddently a look of determination crosses his face and he holds your hips guiding you into his open mouth

you moan and thrust against his tongue, he seals his lips tightly around your cock

from this position he can't move his head, you place your arm and lean on the wall behind him

you start to fuck his mouth as he hums and sucks, he looks at you defiant through his eyelashes

you start to babble as you deep throat him faster and faster, pressing your groin hard against his face, making him hum and swallow around you

"yes, take it, such a good slut. you like it don't you? my helpless little cocksleeve, don't you try to deny it. oh baby, yes, take it"

he whines when you lean back pulling out of his mouth, like he doesn't want to leave you, like he doesn't want to stop inhaling your scent

you groan while you grab your cock and aim your shoot, unloading your orgasm on his face and chest

he licks his lips as you even your breaths after coming down of the high

when you start to feel the cum getting cold and uncomfortable between your ass cheeks, you get off his body leaving the bed and standing up

you take a towel and wet it to clean him up before taking his hand and helping him sit up and shuffle him to shower

"next time, it's my turn" you say slapping his ass and smirking at him, pleased to see a new tone of dark red is on his blushing face

he follows you to the bathroom regardless, even if he grumbles the whole way

[schlut]

schloctober: oblivious fools pt2

2nd person pov; male reader x schlatt x ted; mlm nsfw; plot? what plot?; no beta we die like men;

a/n: for @reddsl1mer <3 i hope you enjoy!!! i'm sorry for the wait

ted slowly comes closer, he's tentative and hesitant in his movements

like he's expecting to be told to get out of the room, like he believes that if he doesn't make sudden moves he can pretend he's invisible

ted sits next to you on the couch and looks at you, observing you, his eyes are intense, behind his uncertainty you can see lust eating at him

can he see your lips, red from sucking schlatt moments ago? can he see schlatt's come lingering on the corners of your mouth?

does ted want to taste it himself? is he curious? does he wonder if he's going to like it as much as you did?

or is he imagining his own dick down your throat? does he wish to cum on your face? or does he prefer to mix it with schlatt's in your stomach?

you feel yourself throb with the million thoughts going rapidly through your mind

schlatt is kneeling on the floor between your naked legs, his mouth slack and agape around your erection, he's frozen like a deer caught in headlights

his grip on your cock tighten in both fear and surprise causing you to bite your lips and swallow any noise you're going to make

ted's eyes fall on your lips trapped between your teeth, they're dehydrated from the alcohol you drank all night, you unconsciously wet them with your tongue and he looks like he's holding his breath

he's moving even closer to you, his thigh pressed against yours which, in turn, makes your leg push against schlatt, caging him

ted exhale his breath through his nose and when his gaze meets schlatt's, he can't help but gasp losing it again at the sight before him

the sight of schlatt with glistening lips, a thread of spit connecting his mouth to your standing member in his hand

schlatt becomes self conscious the more ted stares at him, he's red, blushing embarrassed like he wasn't just sucking on your tip and making lewd noises around it two seconds ago, like he wants to deny that he was enjoying himself

schlatt loses his grip and hides his face with his hands, your hard cock slaps against your abdomen making you whine

ted unexpectedly chuckles, schlatt looks up at you through his fingers shyly in apology and you respond by patting his head affectionately trying to brush off the remains of shock on his face

suddently the tension in the room disappears, you smile at your friends while ted makes an hand gesture at schlatt, nonverbally saying "go on, continue your activities"

schlatt looks confused between you and ted, like he can't believe this is happening

to be honest you can't either, but it's better to enjoy it until it lasts

you scratch his head in reassurance and with your other hand you take hold of your dick to tap it softly against his lips

schlatt smiles huffing a breath and kisses your hardness before he circles his tongue around it, he explores slipping it under your foreskin making you groan

"this is probably your first, right?" ted whispers dreamily under his breath still looking at schlatt, like it was only an outspoken thought, like he doesn't want to miss any sweet noises both of you are letting out by talking loudly

"you have a big mouth" he continues "you can fit the whole thing inside"

you move your hand on schlatt's chin, brushing your finger softly on his cheek

"let me help you" ted looks at you meaningfully and you smirk nodding at him

ted replaces your hand with his own, caressing schlatt's cheek too before moving it on his head and scratching like you were doing, only then gripping his hair and pulling on them, not too harshly but just enough

schlatt's reaction is instantaneous, his low groan vibrating around your cock, curses leaving your mouth from the pleasure

then ted goes in the other direction, pushing schlatt's head down

schlatt closes his eyes taking more length little by little, mixing his spit with your precum as you and ted whisper and praise his name

"come on, big guy, you can do it" "you're doing so good, babe, a little bit more"

schlatt hums and moans around it, his face pressed down on your pubic hair and his nose digging on your groin

you can't help yourself but you involuntarily thrust into his warm hole, making him choke on your cock and his own spit

ted holds him for a few moments before releasing him, but only for a bit before is being pushed down again

schlatt gets the hang of it, sliding up and down effortlessly, shaping his throat around your cock

sometimes he opens an eye to steal glances at ted who's sitting next to you

ted is drooling watching schlatt enraptured and maybe a little proud, hand presses his hard on still covered by his sweatpants

you rub his thigh before tugging on his waistband and letting his cock free from the confinement

you hold him at the base of his throbbing length before spitting on your hand and pumping it

schlatt is working on your dick even more faster, like he's high on the feeling of your tip hitting the back of his throat repeatedly

you're so close as you thrust inside schlatt's mouth, matching his movements with your hand on ted's cock

you wish this could go on forever but with your balls tight and your breaths heavy, you're already cumming while choking moans and your head is falling back on the couch in pleasure

you're in a bubble of light feeling, haze and blurry overcomes you

your mind reboots and when it comes back online you notice a few things

ted is against the skin of your neck, kissing and growling, shoving himself into your slack hand

you tighten your fist around him, content but spent, you don't have the strength to do anything else, you let him use you as he pleases, his lips are sucking hickeys on you

schlatt is breathing harshly against your skin, head dropping on your thigh, you can't see his face

it seems like he couldn't swallow all of your cum, spitting some on both himself and you

you move your free leg (the one that he isn't using as a rest place) between his, you feel how hard he became again while he was sucking you off

as soon as you brush against his reawakened boner he latches on it, wrapping himself around your leg and hugging it tightly with his whole body

"aw, big baby" you coo at him while your other hand (the one that ted isn't using as a fleshlight) finds itself again scratching schlatt's head "i'm glad you liked it"

he begins to hump pathetically against you, mouthing and biting your thigh you let him use you too for release

"was it ted watching you or was it his big hand pushing you?" you ask schlatt with a sweet voice

you feel ted stop nipping at your neck, his head resting on your shoulder as he turns to observe the wild state schlatt's in

the rooms is filled with schlatt's whines and ted's grunts, one's almost sounds like he's praying and the other sounds like a litany of whimsical "i hate you"

as they spill on your skin, you can't help but feel smug and giggle

you have the feeling you could convince them to do it again

and so the rules of the game changed again

[schlut]

schloctober: established relationship

2nd person pov; sfw; poly ted x schlatt x gender neutral/implied reader; no beta we die like men;

warnings: briefly talks about social anxiety and panic attack

a/n: in the same au of dating ted / schlatt

ted x schlatt x reader headcanons

at the beginning, schlatt's energies clashed with ted's, there were fights between them that left one angry and the other offended

fights without winners, that left people more hurt rather than more compassionate

you had to communicate and learn together each others boundaries, how much you can push without hurting, when to talk and when to listen

schlatt had to unlearn to jump and hit the person behind him the firsts times physical contact was initiated

he's comfortable when there's nobody looking at him, he tries to be more open with his emotions behind closed doors

he works on learning how to ask for help when he needs it, he learns how to be vulnerable

if ted make himself known and doesn't startle him, he can coax him into cuddling

schlatt won't never admit it but he enjoys using ted like a stuffed animal

and ted thrives in being a giant body pillow

but if you're in public, ted knows to seek you out instead of schlatt when he needs affection

he hugs you quietly, burying his face in your neck and wrapping himself around you

both you and ted had to learn how to recognize and soothe schlatt's anxieties

especially when all of you go to outside

at any sort of gathering ted wants to stay longer and talk to everyone he knows, he's the more extrovert of the group

meanwhile schlatt has only a few hours before his social battery runs out

most of the times he just leaves early, sneaking back home to cuddle with the cats

under all of his careless exterior he feels guilty, he doesn't want cut short your time together but he doesn't want to end up with a bad mood and ruin your night either

one time he forces himself to stay longer than usual

his smile becomes tired, his hands fidgeting and his eyes shifting around, from person to person, quickly

wary, cautious, alert. paranoid.

there's a tightness in his chest, his breath is short, he's holding on but he'll snap soon

you realize that he's a step away from having a panic attack

you hiss at ted to discreetly come help you, hoping he'll understands without asking questions and inadvertently draw schlatt under a huge spotlight

you're afraid to put even more pressure on him, spiraling him more, adraid to not being able to help and inadvertently bring more harm

when ted briefly looks at you confused before being distracted into a heated conversation, you want yell at him in front of everyone

your overworking mind imagines the him insisting on staying, not understanding what's happening while schlatt is shrinking himself to seem small

you decide to take schlatt away and back home, you cuddle and reassure him with soft praises while he cries in your arms, letting out every emotions he suppressed at the party

when ted comes back home hours later, he hides his worry with an annoyed and bitter remark ready on his lips

he stops as soon as he notices schlatt resting on your chest, wet patches on your t-shirt and tear marks running down his cheeks

you're angry at ted even if underneath, you know it doesn't make sense to be

he looks back at you, his face surprised and troubled

and you talk quietly while schlatt is snoring, looking both adorable and grumpy in his sleep

you're sort of a buffer between ted and schlatt, you can recognize when ted being too clingy and schlatt needs space, when ted needs to show off and schlatt needs to hide, when one needs to hug and the other needs to be hugged

even if everyone is constantly busy, you try to take the time to spend moments with each other

quiet and peaceful moments that smell like home

laying in bed together while mindlessly scrolling or answering emails on the phone, comfortable in each other's presence

[schlut]

I hate this place but you're here

2nd person pov; content creator reader, gender neutral/implied male reader; sfw; pre-relationship; schlatt x reader;

a/n: heavily self-insert and self-indulgent, sorry if this is cringe; no beta we die like men;

word count: 1162

You have started to stream and upload your own videos, with a bit of luck from the algorithm pushing your stuff to a larger audience you have gained a lot of followers since you began.

You chose to focus more on having fun by making silly content rather than show your face to the camera. Now you're glad for that decision since you don't have to deal with your "social media presence" or with interacting with annoying blood-sucking content creators, you prefer to tend and build your own small community of loyal viewers.

That's why you're surprised when you get invited to some sort of event (you didn't bother to read the email fully, that shit was too long!) and since you never say no to free food and drinks you decided to confirm your attendance.

Turns out that you shouldn't have and kind of regret it, you're awkward and clueless on who all these people are. You observe countless of influencers talking and vlogging over each other, you have the stark impression that this is just a networking event disguised as a party.

You don't particularly care about all of this, quickly forming a plan to steal as many as you can of those delicious little pastries they serve and bail out of here, but even if nobody knows who you are either, people still approach you and make themselves known to you, ruining your secret mission.

You give your name when making new acquaintances rather than using your username, and before too long you start to introduce yourself with different names each time another person asks who you are. They won't remember you and you already forget their names after a minute of boring conversation. It's also very funny to mess with people.

You're not inept at social interaction and you can be friendly when you want to but after a while, not that long to be honest, it starts to feel like a chore and you excuse yourself to take a breather on the edge of the room with your back pressed against the wall.

You entertain the fantasy of appearing in someone's vlog and let your viewers figure out if it's actually you or not but you swiftly scratch the idea. Considering that, as long as you don't talk, they won't even realize it's you.

«Does this place even have alcohol? Did they lie?» you ask yourself outloud before sighing «Why am I still here?»

«Just to suffer?» a voice beside you replies and you turn to see a guy with a cap and mutton chops, you're surprised that someone overheard your muttering.

«They have a open bar with some kind of fancy cocktails over there» he lets you know pointing in that direction before handing you an unlabeled can «but if you want I did sneak in some beers»

«My savior!» you exclaim before opening it as discreetly as possible. «My alchool tollerance is extremely low though. Just so you know, it'll be your fault if I make a fool of myself in front of everyone»

«What are you? A pussy?» He teases me.

«Damn right, boy! And I'm the juiciest in town» you joke with a goofy voice before taking a swing of the beer, he howls laughing caught off guard by your reply.

You smile briefly before you scold him in jest «Don't be so loud, you'll blow my cover, dude!»

«What? What are you trying to do? Assassinate someone?» he questions raising his eyebrow before grinning «I can help you with that, I'm an expert»

«I do wish I didn't forget my flamethrower at home» you sigh dramatically «but no, I'm just trying to go unnoticed»

«How is that working for you?» he asks amused.

«Sadly, not well. I keep bumping into people. At this rate I'll leave this event with sweets in my belly and not in my pockets» you tell him while sipping the beer and eying the long tables of food. You wonder how much is going to be thrown away after the event.

«Stealing food? What are you? Poor?» he says making an exaggerated disgusted face.

You roll your eyes theatrically at him «No, I'm just on survival mode. Duh»

He snickers before a comfortable silence fall between you two. The back and forth was nice, there's not that many people who gets your sense of humor but the lull in the conversation was nice too. Neither of you need to fill the void with idle chat, just enjoying the company of someone who hates these kind of parties as much as you do.

After a bit you both create a game of observing people and making shit up about them. Some of the things this "Schlatt" guy said may be so ridiculous that you wonder if you'll be that surprised if later on you discover that they're true, he seems like someone who has internet celebrities knowledge far beyond your own.

You forget about your initial plan of getting out of here and realize it's late as there are far fewer people than before. You have finished two beers long ago and then ordered one of those too sweet cocktails, now you're playing with the straw and swirling the leftover half melted ice in the glass. You have a pleasant buzz going inside your head.

«Look at him» you chuckle pointing to a tall guy with glasses «he looks like he was in the bathroom the whole event smoking a joint as tall as him»

«That may actually be true» he snorts before pushing himself off the wall «he has that type of dork face»

You blush not realizing the stranger was walking directly towards you two, fear sets in your stomach as you wonder if he was listening in your conversation.

«Ready to go?» he asks looking at Schlatt when he comes closer.

Your face falls in confusion before you turn to a smirking Schlatt next to you.

«He's Ted, my assigned driver for tonight,» he explains «apparently I'm not supposed to "drive and drink"» he informs you while making air quotes with his fingers.

Ted rolls his eyes at Schlatt before he gives you an handshake and officially introduce himself «Thank you for putting up with his bullshit all night, I hope he didn't bother you too much»

Schlatt crosses his arms offended before looking back at you, his expression somewhat soften into a shy smile «See you around, then»

«I guess» you shrug thinking you'll probably never see him again «good night, losers»

After saying your goodbyes you watch them depart «So that's why you didn't pester me to leave hours ago, huh?» you hear Ted commenting before he was hit by Schlatt «Ow! What was that for?» is the last thing you ear from them.

You manage to sneakily pack some leftovers food in a plastic bag you have hidden in your pocket before taking an Uber to go home. Maybe tonight wasn't all bad.

a/n: thank you for reading <3

[schlut]

schloctober: trans

2nd person pov; sfw; schlatt x transmasc reader; pre-relationship; no beta we die like men;

a/n: inspired after reading this, self-insert and self-indulgent, based on my own experiences

it's been years since you came out, your gender dysphoria is at its lowest and now you don't think about it as much as when you first started transitioning

sometimes you even forget about it, it's just another part of who you are

that's why you didn't even think about telling schlatt

it happens organically, maybe it was when you were telling an anecdote and it was just a piece of context for the story

or maybe some mutual friend told him "you didn't know?"

or you invite schlatt to your friend's party, he asks how they know you while you were absent/going to the bathroom/taking a drink and they responds with "us queers need to stick together"

schlatt is surprised because you never told him and he brings that up "so, i heard that you're queer"

"yup" you confirm "oh, and i'm also trans" you add as an afterthought

he misunderstands your tone as shy and thinks you just came out, as if you're pre-transition

he acts extra gentlemanly, unusually soft and sweet

your banter full of flirty jokes feels less like two bros pushing each other

schlatt wants to be supportive and buys you dresses/skirts/nail polish/make up

"I didn't know you were into this kind of stuff" you say to him looking at his new purchases "i thought you were more of a bear than a femboy" you joke thinking it's for a video but then he says that's for you

"uhh, thank you? then next pride i'm going to look fabulous" you say

and he thinks that you're going to wear his gifts only on pride because you aren't yet comfortable dressing more feminine on an everyday basis

meanwhile you're thinking that going full beard, full make up, shirtless, chest scars exposed, skirt, high heels and maybe fishnet stockings will be a good look for pride, a "fuck gender" outfit

schlatt starts to misgender you without knowing

"he hasn't ever done that" you think "is he surprised by the news that it may have messed his head a bit?"

"is he playing up the asshole part? is he doing it ironically?"

like, it's kinda funny to call a "she" an oblivious grown ass big hairy man

like when grandma does it in front of everyone at the restaurant and they look at her like she's just a demented crazy old lady

but then you hear schlatt "correcting" harshly someone and you can't help but laugh when realization hits you, this was all a misunderstanding

"schlatt, i have already transitioned and i'm transmasc" you say to him between giggles

he's speechless and embarrassed

"are you feeling bad for all the short jokes you made about me? Good, because you should" you decided to tease him

he apologizes, almost overly so, afraid he offended you

"aw, you're so cute. don't worry, i'm just making fun of you" you try and fail to hide your amused smile "in hindsight you were really supportive and you even defend my honor form that guy calling me "bro"! my hero!"

"damn. and here i thought that with you transitioning i could have finally escaped the gay thoughts" he grumbles

"what?" you say shocked while staring at him with wide eyes

"what" he responds like he didn't mean to say that outloud while mirroring your expression

+

you see yourself in the mirror and you go "i mean, i do have a full beard, chest and ass hairs but i think people will still see that i'm trans regardless, right?"

you laugh at yourself and smile at your own reflection "Okay, maybe not. Just because i know it doesn't mean everybody else knows. Stupid brain"

+

it's been a while since you and schlatt hang out, everytime you tried to organize something together you or schlatt were busy

finally you found the perfect day to meet up, planned in advance for several weeks

but then your close friend calls you with great news, the kind that absolutely needs to be celebrated among friends

and you feel guilty for saying no to them when is something so important

so you change plans and ask schlatt if he wants to go to your friend's party with you

fortunately he says yes, sounding kind of desperate to see you no matter the circumstances

on your way to the party schlatt asks what kind of party is going to be

"it's a gender reveal party!" you inform him excited

"i hope that there isn't going to be a forest fire" he jokes

you chuckle before going on a rant about how much you love your friend and how much you're proud and happy for them

as soon as you arrive at the party and your friend notices you, you run and hug them, swaying from side to side with big smiles

you introduce schlatt to your friend and then take a step back to let the other guests greet and congratulate them

"you don't act so affectionately with me" schlatt grumbles under his breath

you smile, cupping his cheek and cooing at him "i'm sorry, baby, are you jealous?"

he brush you off blushing and tries to change the topic

"there's a lot of blue balloons, wasn't it a gender reveal party? emphasis on the reveal part" schlatt comments

you let your arm fall on your side and act like he wasn't red in the face

"the emphasis should be on the gender part. it's a transgender reveal party" your big smile hasn't left your face "my boy is getting their first testosterone shot!"

schlatt huff amused, something that could be considered an half laugh

you poke his cheek before taking his hand and urging him to move "come on, you have to meet the other members of the trans gang"

a/n: it's a while since i started to workshop this idea, the first time i wrote this i was high and i kept forgetting to save it and i had to rewrite it. and it kept happening. several times. i pieced together what i had and added the rest but i still don't think it's as good as the original draft (rip) which was much longer and make it seem like schlatt was a transphobe, but in the end i decided to explicitly state his thoughts. idk which decision was the better one, but here you go

[schlut]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Video Blogging RPF Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF) & You, Jschlatt & Ted Nivison, Ted Nivison & You Characters: Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Ted Nivison, Reader Additional Tags: Reader-Insert, Self-Insert, Pre-Relationship, POV Second Person, RPF, Bad Jokes, First Meetings, Friendship, Developing Friendships, Fluff and Crack, Not Beta Read, Party, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Internet Famous, Attempt at Humor, Strangers, Chuckle Sandwich (Podcast), Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, YouTube, Alternate Universe - Twitch Streamers, Humor, Fluff and Humor, References to Drugs, Eventual Romance Summary:

«Does this place even have alcohol? Did they lie?» you ask yourself outloud before sighing «Why am I still here?»

«Just to suffer?» a voice beside you replies

[schlut]

schloctober: school au

3rd person pov; sfw; ted x schlatt, can be read as romantic or platonic; no beta we die like men;

a/n: very short and self-indulgent, basically just a bunch of headcanons

ted and schaltt are childhood friends and they attend the same art school

their personalities can be seen as opposite, but they have the same silly humor and they love to make fun of each other

ted is a passionate good student while schlatt is lazy

ted already knows what he'll do after graduation (film school obliviously) and his favorite subject is photography

meanwhile schlatt doesn't know what he'll do and absolutely hates his studies (he only wants to draw on any available surface and do graffiti)

"I swear to god if i have to do another logo for a shitty corporate or design a business card i'm going to fucking shoot myself in the head"

they're perceived differently, almost the opposite of each other

when they entered their teenagehood, they subscribed to different subcultures, so also their style is different

ted prefers to go to rave parties while schlatt likes hip hop events

regardless of that they take turns dragging each other to their preferred parties

they come as a package, if you invite one you can bet the other will be there too

they take care of each other when one gets too shit faced, staying if one has to hug a toilet like their life depends on it or throw up in a bush at the end of the night

they bail together if a party is too boring or when someone calls the cops to a "too loud" party

they walk home together at 4am holding each other upright and embracing to not let the other fall off

they laugh and sing drunkly bothering the whole neighborhood

people that don't know them or know them separately are always surprised

"huh?! You guys know each other?!

they met in kindergarten and basically grew up with one another

after school they always smoke together, they have a spot that's theirs

charlie joins them after work when he can (he attended their same school too but decided to drop out when he found a decent paying job)

sometimes there's also tucker on fridays, right after he cames back from military service on the weekends, prideful and still in his uniform

if ted and schlatt are out of weed they go on an adventure to find the less shadiest dealer they can find

and they share like a couple:

"there was a kid that was bugging me for a joint"

"i hope you didn't feel generous today"

"hell no, man! our joints are counted for the weekend"

about schlatt's vandalism:

"did you see what that teacher you hate did?"

"let me guess: another reason to make me despise him more?"

"he put a note on the bathroom's wall that says to stop writing on the walls"

"lmao never"

"somebody drew the spongebob meme next to it"

"damn that's genius"

"they also removed the mirrors because you couldn't see your own reflection anymore for how much that shit was full of tags"

"no way, how can you check your hair between classes now?"

"shut the fuck up, schlatt"

[schlut]

schloctober: guests

2nd person pov; sfw; gender neutral/implied male reader; platonic schlatt x ted x reader; original gender neutral character (uses they/them); no beta we die like men;

a/n: inspired after reading this <3 heavily self-insert, sorry if this is cringe

you "recently" moved in an apartment and you've been busy

it's been a few months since you said your goodbyes to couch surfing

you're grateful of your friends' help but now you have your own living space

you have finally unpacked the few boxes you had and bought what you were missing

you also decorated, no more spartan furnishings, bare walls or empty rooms

it feels good, your mind clear and less lonely because of it

it's been a while since you hang out with ted and schlatt, you decided to invite them to show off your new home and let them see how you have settle in nicely

also to inaugurate it with the first of many parties, nothing too crazy, just some of your close friends

they make fun of you, acting surprised that the place isn't already a mess

you don't even own that many things to make it messy but you're known for being disorganized and scatterbrained

you feel awkward and nervous while introducing your childhood friend to ted and schlatt, it feels like two parts of your life meeting

your small couch can't hold your three guests and yourself without being uncomfortably squeezed against each other, so you let them take a seat on it and place yourself on the floor

there was some arguing about the sitting arrangement but in the end you shut them up by saying "my home, my rules"

you were afraid that they won't get along but it turns out to be a quiet chill out night with the boys

ted and your friend discover their shared love for cinematography and they start to ramble about old movies you never heard of

you were rolling a joint while schlatt was being a brat and calling them nerds

you laugh at schlatt's offended grumbling face when both your friend and ted shush him with "sit down, the adults are talking"

you take puffs of smoke between amused smiles while looking at schlatt

"wanna show them how much of a noob you are while i kick your ass on smash bros?" you offer him, his menacing expression turning to you and you hold the joint to him as a peace offering and a shield

"you're on!" he exclaim before smoking too "though i know what are you doing, you little rat"

"you're trying to drug me so i'm not fully at my strength" he continues after taking breaths of smoke inside his lungs "that won't work"

you answer him by putting on your most innocent face

it was a quiet chill out night before the joint was finished and stubbed out, but now the room was filled by yelling curses and hysterical laughter

you take a break after a dozen matches, ted is going to the bathroom to take a leak and you change the game to mario kart choosing to shuffle some race theme songs

soon the conversation turns in a debate on which track is the best and you take the opportunity to roll another blunt

when ted comes back in the room he has a slight worried line between his eyebrows

"I think you should check the plumbing or for animal infestation, i heard some noises behind the walls" he advices

"that's just the ghost" you say without thinking or looking up

"what?!" schlatt yells bewildered while ted chokes on an unexpected gasp

you shrug, put the joint between your lips and light it up

you uncross your legs and stretch them out, your ass is getting sore by sitting on the floor but your mind and body are too relaxed to get up, it's not too much of a bother and you can handle a bit of pain

you'll stretch properly after starting the blunt rotation, maybe also getting a glass of water, the guys will probably want that too

your friend huffs a laugh and hits you on the shoulder

"what did i do to deserve it? is it because i'm smoking too much?" you think before turning to look up at them

they have a raised eyebrow and a meaningful gaze, one of those that convey how much of a dumbass you are

you frown confused and their gaze shift to the other guys in the room urging you to look at them

schlatt is frozen in a shocked expression, you can read "wtf" written several times over and across his face

ted looks like he's debating if he should start to laugh or freak out

you wonder what's up with them and you try to remember what was the conversation about

confused silence falls in the room

unless you don't count the loud uninterrupted sound coming from the walls

"oh right, the ghost" your mind supply before registering that maybe you shouldn't have said it so nonchalantly or at all

your friend is right, you are a dumbass and now they're looking at you amused

it looks like they're saying "you have to explain now and i'm going to have fun watching this chaos unfold" with only their gaze, they have a particular talent for talking without words

this is just another quirky trait of yours and your friend already knows it about you

about how much you were scared the fist time you saw a ghost when you were little

about how you ignored and pretended you couldn't see them, in fear that they notice you seeing them

about how you learned to live with the background noises, objects moving, flickering lights and shadows in the corner of your eye

and when you moved in this new apartment, of course you complained to your childhood friend about the one who likes to knock on the walls at night

like how you complained a long time ago about the one in the empty apartment above your old place who liked to walk around in high heels at odd hours of the night

but ted and schlatt? they don't know it about you, you don't even know if they'll believe you or they'll think you're just delusional

you don't even care, you just don't want to scare them to the point they don't want to be friends with you anymore

sometimes you have to remind yourself that what is oblivious to you it isn't to others, sometimes it's better to let people think it's faulty plumbing or rats in the walls

you could try to act like it was a joke but you were too casual and too late for the punchline, you sigh

"don't worry, it's harmless" you say looking between ted and schlatt trying to reassure them despite not knowing how "it's knocking on the walls to get attention"

you can taste ted's doubt and see schlatt is on edge

the knocking noise moves, like it can sense their unease, like it wants to play and tease them with it

for several seconds the sound it's quick and repetitive, but then it gets almost like it's dropping something heavy, like it's punching the wall and making a loud thud

usually it can last only for half a hour before it gets bored but like this it means at least a couple of hours of awkward random background noises, even if you could distract everybody into playing some stupid game

rage fills your body, you just wanted to hang out with your friends, why can't you?! just because of some stupid jerk of a ghost who doesn't want to leave the material world?!

fuck it, this is your home not its

you channel all of your anger toward the ghost

"hey buddy, can you shut the fuck up?" you whisper harshly with a sickly sweet voice and teeth clenching

the sound stops and you're surprised, you can see your expression mirrored by your friends

did you successfully chastised a ghost? wow, that's a first

you're a bit embarrassed by your outburst but also satisfied by solving the problem

"who wants to smoke next?" you say practically putting the blunt in ted's hand and escaping in the kitchen to grab glasses of water for everybody