#scout lincoln

[in-myheadidoeverything-right]

I cant remember who said that if Link dies, Scout will be just like Derek because he has lots of sisters and a dead father but I think he actually parallels Amelia way more, both of them have dead older brothers, 3 sisters and would have both lost their dads when they were 5

[bishopstorm]

No but this moment was so damn adorable

[yokyopeli]

Lucas Adams (Niko Terho) Grey’s Anatomy 19x5 When I Get to the Border (2022) 1/ 9

[hotticuslincoln]

A, B, C, D...

[oboevallis]

back to square one

TW/CW- relapse, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness

This was the final straw, if things couldn’t get any worse, here she was walking away from the first person who truly got her brain. Lethargically she made it to her office and got prepared to leave, and then made the treacherous walk to her car. Her hand lingered on the door handle. Her brain feeling like it was encased in fog. Eventually she made her way back to her apartment. She couldn’t decide if it was good or bad that she didn’t have Scout tonight. After opening the door she dropped her keys in a small painted pottery bowl her and Kai made together at an art studio, everything in her life was tainted by Kai’s presence. She sighed as she draped her coat over the couch. After taking a look around the apartment she was once so happy in, she headed over towards the cabinet beneath the sink. As she sit down on the cool tile floor she felt as though she was gonna cry. She rummaged through the detergent bottles and toxic cleaners, until she found the bottle she was looking for. A wine bottle, one of her new neighbors gifted to her as a welcome present, unknowingly. Why she kept it she didn’t know, she said it was for any guests who may come, maybe deep down her knew this would happen. She held the bottle for awhile, contemplating. She’d been sober for so long, she couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be drunk. But it was the only thing she craved for, to forget, to drown out her thoughts, to not feel as lonely. Her mind was racing a million miles a minute, she knew this was wrong. After coming so far she owed her self more, but she couldn’t handle her mind. She hoisted herself up and poured the wine into one of Scout’s sippy cup cause children’s dish-ware was pretty much all she had. As she brought the cup up to her lips she hesitated, her conscious telling her to stop at all costs, but there was a voice begging her to just take a sip. That one sip because two, which became the whole bottle. Once realizing what she did she slammed the glass bottle into the sink and fell the the ground. How did this happen? How did she allow this to happen? She swore she was never going to touch alcohol after Meredith’s attack, and before that the death of her firstborn. Her firstborn, she swore she’d stay sober for him, now for her son. She just couldn’t do it anymore, neither of them needed her. She felt worthless, she didn’t matter to anyone in her life anymore. Everyone left her eventually, she should’ve know. Things were too good for too long. Eventually she went to bed, hoping to forget what she had done. The next morning she woke up with a terrible hangover, she forgot about this part. Not being able to stand the feeling a reality spinning back to her, she made her way to the nearest liquor store. After buying some hard liquor, she saw her phone. She totally forgot she was on call, her phone blowing up with pages. She stood there staring at her phone, before simply shutting it off. She couldn’t be bothered, Mr Mehta could take care of it, they didn’t need her.

——————————————————————

“Where’s Dr Shepherd?” Webber asked as he handed his iPad to the nurses station.

“Not sure but she hasn’t been answering her pagers, I mean I may have to suspend her she’s on call.” Teddy sighed as she filled out a chart.

“That’s not like her.” He could now feel his anxiety bubbling. Amelia always answered her pages.

“Well Im sure shes upset about Meredith and Maggie leaving, and now on top of that Kai is doing research in London.” Teddy explained before she walked away leaving Richard in his thoughts. This was not a good mixture, he immediately texted her inviting her to a meeting. No response. He was gonna give her a couple of days to mope before checking in on her.

——————————————————————

“Damn it.” Link said with frustration, he’d been trying to contact Amelia all day, he hadn’t heard from her since last week which was their last exchange. It was her day to take Scout, and he had planned a big night for him and Jo, he was gonna confess his love to her. But those plans would be squashed if his ex wouldn’t pick up her damn phone.

“Everything okay?” Webber asked as he stepped into the attending’s lounge.

“Yeah, it’s just Amelia isn’t answering and it’s her night to take scout.”

“Haven’t heard from her all week?”

“No, but we don’t really talk. Haven’t heard from since our last exchange, but that’s not out of the ordinary I want nothing to do with her.” Webbers suspicion was proving to be true.

“You should give her a bit more grace, she never intended to hurt you like this.”

“Well she did.” Webber was debating whether or not to unleash all the things he never said to him.

“You know, she was drowning and you just stood there watching. While you were around the house drinking she was barely holding on. And after everything she’s been through with Christopher I wouldn’t be surprised if her grief wasn’t over taking her. She had a newborn and 3 other kids in her hands within 10 minutes of getting home from the hospital. If you really loved her as you say you did you would’ve been there to help her. But you never checked in.”

With that Webber left the room and made his was to the parking lot. He had to go check in on her. He was giving her a couple of days to mope, but it’d almost been a week since he invited her to that meeting and was met with no response. He was being optimistic, she’d been through worse and stayed sober, she was probably just in her bed closing out the world. He knocked on the apartment door, but there was no answer, now he was thinking the worst. He kept vigorously knocking until the door opened a crack.

“Can I help you?” Amelia simply stated barely showing herself.

“You haven’t been to work and I haven’t seen you at a meeting.”

“I know.” There was uncomfortable silence for awhile until she spoke up again. “I was suspended for a little bit for not answering my pages.”

“And why weren’t you?”

“I’m sad Richard, please just leave me alone. I’m gonna be okay.”

“I can see straight through you shepherd. And don’t think I can’t smell the alcohol on your breath.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“How about ‘Come on in, I’ll make us a pot of coffee’.”

“It’s a mess in here.”

“I’ve seen worse.” Slowly she opened the door and let him in. He hadn’t been in the apartment yet, it was cute. Seemed like a place Amelia would live. His eyes were then drawn to the bottles on the counter and the smashed one in the sink. He watched as she walked over to the coffee machine. He then realizes he’s never seen her drunk before. She’s tripping over herself and is slurring her speech. “So what’s the plan here? Are you gonna get up and clean yourself off? Or are you gonna stay like this forever?”

“The latter.”

“I heard it’s your night with Scout.”

“Yeah he doesn’t need me, I mean he has a new mother who’s ten times better than me.”

“Jo is not going to replace you.”

“Richard I don’t really care. Scouts better off without me, he doesn’t need a spiraling mother in his life.”

“It’s just a slip up.”

“I’m too old for this. I don’t have the strength to get sober again.”

“You are way younger than me when I got sober the last time. I know you Amelia, you are stronger than this disease.”

“No I’m not, I’m nothing.”

“The Amelia Shepherd I know, fights for the her loved ones and her patients, her kindness is indescribable, she’s stronger than this.”

“I can’t I just can’t.” She’s starts to feel tears welling up in her eyes. She doesn’t want to cry in front of him. “It’s too much.”

“We’ll take it one step at a time. First let’s clean this place up and get ourselves to a meeting.”

“Thank you.” Amelia whispered quietly as the older man started to dump out the remaining liquor.

[kaimelia]

good insane

Kai pushed open the front door, gently shutting it behind them and taking off their boots quietly, hyperconscious of the late hour they were returning to Amelia's.

They hung up their jacket and set their bag down near the door before heading into the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water.

They turned around at the sound of movement behind them to see Scout standing in the hallway; his arms wrapped tightly around a stuffed frog as he stared up at them. They glanced back at the clock on the microwave.

2:34 AM

"Hey, little dude," they kneeled to his level, smiling as he walked towards them. "Why are you awake?"

"Scary," he spoke softly, and Kai held out their arms to him. He walked into their embrace.

"You had a bad dream?" He nodded slowly, not releasing his grip on his stuffed animal. "Do you want me to wake Mommy up?"

"Mommy tired," he said as Kai lifted him onto their hip, finishing their glass of water and placing it in the sink. "Mommy need sleep."

"You need to sleep too, buddy." They held their free hand to his forehead, attempting to feel his temperature and quickly concluding he wasn't sick. "Do you want me to tuck you back in, or do you want to come sleep in bed with your Mommy and me?"

"You and Mommy," he whispered, laying his head onto their shoulder and grabbing at the collar of their shirt as they walked around.

"Okay. I need to get ready for bed, so," they walked over to the couch, making sure his stuffed frog stayed in his arms as they set him down and kissed his forehead, "you stay here while I get in pajamas, okay?"

"Okay." They waved quickly before walking out, slowly opening the bedroom door to see Amelia sprawled over her side of the bed, her eyes closed as she breathed steadily in her sleep. Kai grabbed their pajamas from the top of the dresser, retreating to the bathroom to speedily change and brush their teeth.

"Alright, you gotta be quiet, pinky promise?" They asked as they returned to the living room, kneeling to Scout's level once again and holding their pinky out to him. He wrapped his tiny finger around theirs and grinned. "Mommy's trying to sleep, so no waking her up."

"Pinky promise." He held his arms out, and Kai picked him up. They carried him into the bedroom.

"Alright," Kai whispered, pulling the comforter on their side back, sitting down, and placing Scout in between them and Amelia. They pulled the blankets up onto their body, and Scout curled against them, his back against them and his frog held tightly to his chest. He placed his head on their arm, and Kai laid their other arm over him.

"Nighty," he murmured, wrapping his fingers around Kai's pointer finger.

"Goodnight," Kai whispered back. They set their head down on the pillow, pressing a kiss to his head like they'd seen Amelia do a million times.

--------

Amelia opened her eyes at the sound of her alarm, quickly reaching over to hit the snooze button before rolling over to her side, her eyes widening at the sight of her son asleep in front of her. She smiled widely and reached out her hand, intertwining her fingers with her partner's.

Their eyes opened slowly, and they squeezed her hand as they woke, yawning softly and blinking a few times.

"Hi," she whispered, glancing between Kai and Scout. "When did he get here?"

"Mm," they sighed, their voice gravely as they looked down at the toddler asleep in their arms, the same position he'd fallen asleep in hours ago. "I came home, and he found me in the kitchen. He had a bad dream," Kai informed her, closing their eyes again. "He didn't want me to wake you up."

"He never does. I'm surprised he even came to talk to you," she moved her fingers from their hand and ran them through Scout's blonde hair, fixing the mess that came from sleep.

"What can I say? He likes me best," they grinned, keeping their eyes shut as they kissed the boy's head. "I think he just wanted some company."

Amelia exhaled, moving her feet under the covers until she found Kai's, sticking her feet between theirs and moving her hands back under her head.

"You're really incredible; you know that?"

"I know," they smiled, yawning as soon as they finished speaking. She kicked them playfully under the blankets. "You have a pretty amazing kid. He's a better cuddler than you; he doesn't kick in his sleep." Amelia rolled her eyes and kicked them again. "Or when he's awake."

"Shut up," she muttered. Kai opened their eyes, meeting her gaze and beaming as she shook her head slowly. "You should spend more time in Seattle with us."

"I'd like that," they grinned, taking her hand back in theirs and squeezing gently. "Who would've thought my life would look like this? Cuddling a child, waking up next to you," they shook their head. "If you'd told me a year ago that I would be dating Amelia Shepherd from Hopkins, I would've told you you're insane."

"I think it's a good insane." She squeezed their hand back. "I like it."

"I like it too."

[ameliashepherdwannabe]

this is because amelia shepherd is a bisexual queen. (sorry for like never posting fics, i’ve got so many ideas but i suck at writing, and yet have so little ideas) Part 2?????

Coming Out

Amelia layed there, her hands playing with each other. She put one of her fingernails underneath another, and started scooping out whatever gunk was under it.

It was 2:47 am, and she couldn’t sleep. Something has kept her up nearly every night. Her mind constantly switching from thought to thought. When she finally started to drift, a new, more complicated, thought appeared.

What kept her up tonight had started with her son. Not him specifically, he nearly slept through every night. It was the fact that addiction was typically genetic. What if he became an addict? What if he overdosed, and she wasn’t there to save him?

She turned back around and looked at her sleeping boyfriend, snoring peacefully. She loves him, whole heartedly. Every single cell in her body was dedicated to loving him, Scout, her sisters, her mom, her nieces and nephews; even in some twisted way, her biological sisters too.

Amelia felt like she was hiding something from Link, but she didn’t know what. Well, she did now. She didn’t understand why it had taken her so long to realize this. It was obvious.

Her massive crush on Carina.

Now, it wasn’t any regular girl crush. It was the type of crush where she had full on fantasies. Ever since she met the gorgeous, hot, sexy, smart Carina Deluca, she dreamt of them dazing each other in the eyes. The two of them on top of each other, inside each other. She was aware she had no chance, Carina liked blondes. First Arizona, then Maya.

Maya Bishop. A fucking powerhouse.

“You know I have a list,” Amelia said, as she and Link started down the stairs to exit the hospital,

“What?” He chased her speeding footsteps,

“Ya know. Like if you die or we tragically break up. I have a list,”

Link snickered, “Of??”

“People,”

“Well now you have to tell me who’s on it,”

“Lucky for you it’s very short,”

“Yay?”

“First there’s,” she thinks a minute, “Ryan Reynolds,”

“Not a bad choice, but isn’t he married? With kids?”

“And then, Blake lively,”

“Isn’t she married to him?”

“We could be a thruple,”

“A thruple? Really?”

“And then-,”

The two of them walked out of the building, heading towards the front,

“Them!” Amelia pointed discreetly towards two beautiful women, far down into each other’s throats,

“Maya and Carina!?” Link pulled Amelia against the wall, “What if they catch us staring at them making out?”

“How could they blame us? They are the hottest couple EVER!”

“Ever? Are you sure?” Link leaned down and brushed his lips on the short brunette’s, making his way down to her neck, whispering in her ear, “I think we might be second,”

Amelia smiled as she thought of that very fond memory. It lived rent free in her head. It had been unseasonably warm, and love was in the air, everyone could feel it.

Slowly, she pushed herself up. Being as quiet as possible, she snuck downstairs, creeping quietly into the kitchen. To her surprise, she found Meredith eating a leftover burger.

“Hi!” She whispered loudly, “I have some extra fries!”

Amelia smiled, making her way to the fridge instead of stealing all Mer’s food.

“I’ll just make myself some good ol’ peppermint tea!”

“I’ve got a cookie,” Mer pulled out a large chocolate chip one with a huge bite already taken out, “If you want,” she shrugged,

Amelia leaned on the sink, thinking for a second,

Mer continued, obviously very sleep deprived, “I know it looks like I took a bite out of it but-,”

“I’m bisexual!” Amelia turned around and smiled, both from insecurity and pride,

Mer just looked at her stunned, taken aback by her sudden burst of energy,

“Is that okay-?”

“Amelia! Don’t be silly!” Meredith got up, making her way to her sister, “I will always support you. You’re my little sister!”

Amelia instantly hugged Mer back,

“Next time, tell me something I didn’t already know!”

“Was it that obvious?”

“Uhh,” Mer hesitated, “Pretty much,”

Amelia laughed, “I’m not surprised,”

“Who knows? Does Link?”

“Probably everyone,” She took a sip of water, “Maggie does,”

“You should get some sleep. And if you want, tell him when you wake up,”

Amelia nodded and gave Mer another hug, and went back to bed.

[unoceanodimezzo]

Hello! I’m Scout Derek Shepherd Lincoln.

My uncle appeared in the final scene and nobody understood if we were all dead or if he was resurrected.