#greysabc

[bejeweled-wahlberg]

Drag Path-Slexie

My very first Slexie edit, I hope you enjoy!

[mccdimples]

calzona + season 7 kisses

[haught-ish]

mika come get your girl she spent the whole episode looking like she was about to break down crying

[evermored]

meredith grey in season 1 episode 5 of grey's anatomy

[scarletyearning]

"I'm not mad. I'm in Whoville!" - Meredith Grey

[ameliashephrds]

Grey’s Anatomy 18x17: I’ll Cover You

Amelia Shepherd talking about the love of her life.

[chaosandken]

kaimelia + braid

Kaimelia + braid

"Funny that you know how to braid hair, and I don't," Amelia chuckled.

"I did grow up with a sister, you know," Kai replied, securing a hair elastic on the bottom of their partner's hair. Amelia was sat on the floor, back leaning against the sofa, Scout in front of her pushing a wooden train along its tracks. One side of her hair had been plaited into a perfect dutch braid, and the tall scientist was sat behind her on the couch, running a hairbrush through her hair, which was still loose on the other side of her head.

"I grew up with three," Amelia defended. "They just suck, and I spent most of my time with Derek, who wouldn't let me touch his hair long enough to learn."

"Wait, don't you wear your hair braided in surgery?" they asked, weaving her dark hair into itself with ease as they worked their way back on her head.

"I always find Mer, or Maggie, and twice I even asked Teddy, to do it for me," she admitted, blushing. Scout giggled as he crashed two trains into one another. Kai quickly secured another elastic at the end of the second braid, then leaned down, kissing Amelia on the head. They turned their gaze to the blond boy playing below them, sizing up the length of his hair. Determining that his hair was long enough to work with, they spoke.

"Hey, Scout, buddy. Do you want your mommy to do your hair so it looks like hers?"

"What do you mean, mommy do his hair?"

"I'm going to teach you to braid."

The boy turned from his toys, then looked at his mother.

"Pretty, mommy," he said, reaching out and touching her hair.

"Thank you, Scout," she replied, grinning up at Kai. She turned her gaze back to her son. "Do you want mommy to do yours?"

The little boy nodded, then turned and sat down in front of his mom. She looked up in question at Kai, and they passed her the hairbrush.

"You got this."

[oboevallis]

back to square one

TW/CW- relapse, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness

This was the final straw, if things couldn’t get any worse, here she was walking away from the first person who truly got her brain. Lethargically she made it to her office and got prepared to leave, and then made the treacherous walk to her car. Her hand lingered on the door handle. Her brain feeling like it was encased in fog. Eventually she made her way back to her apartment. She couldn’t decide if it was good or bad that she didn’t have Scout tonight. After opening the door she dropped her keys in a small painted pottery bowl her and Kai made together at an art studio, everything in her life was tainted by Kai’s presence. She sighed as she draped her coat over the couch. After taking a look around the apartment she was once so happy in, she headed over towards the cabinet beneath the sink. As she sit down on the cool tile floor she felt as though she was gonna cry. She rummaged through the detergent bottles and toxic cleaners, until she found the bottle she was looking for. A wine bottle, one of her new neighbors gifted to her as a welcome present, unknowingly. Why she kept it she didn’t know, she said it was for any guests who may come, maybe deep down her knew this would happen. She held the bottle for awhile, contemplating. She’d been sober for so long, she couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be drunk. But it was the only thing she craved for, to forget, to drown out her thoughts, to not feel as lonely. Her mind was racing a million miles a minute, she knew this was wrong. After coming so far she owed her self more, but she couldn’t handle her mind. She hoisted herself up and poured the wine into one of Scout’s sippy cup cause children’s dish-ware was pretty much all she had. As she brought the cup up to her lips she hesitated, her conscious telling her to stop at all costs, but there was a voice begging her to just take a sip. That one sip because two, which became the whole bottle. Once realizing what she did she slammed the glass bottle into the sink and fell the the ground. How did this happen? How did she allow this to happen? She swore she was never going to touch alcohol after Meredith’s attack, and before that the death of her firstborn. Her firstborn, she swore she’d stay sober for him, now for her son. She just couldn’t do it anymore, neither of them needed her. She felt worthless, she didn’t matter to anyone in her life anymore. Everyone left her eventually, she should’ve know. Things were too good for too long. Eventually she went to bed, hoping to forget what she had done. The next morning she woke up with a terrible hangover, she forgot about this part. Not being able to stand the feeling a reality spinning back to her, she made her way to the nearest liquor store. After buying some hard liquor, she saw her phone. She totally forgot she was on call, her phone blowing up with pages. She stood there staring at her phone, before simply shutting it off. She couldn’t be bothered, Mr Mehta could take care of it, they didn’t need her.

——————————————————————

“Where’s Dr Shepherd?” Webber asked as he handed his iPad to the nurses station.

“Not sure but she hasn’t been answering her pagers, I mean I may have to suspend her she’s on call.” Teddy sighed as she filled out a chart.

“That’s not like her.” He could now feel his anxiety bubbling. Amelia always answered her pages.

“Well Im sure shes upset about Meredith and Maggie leaving, and now on top of that Kai is doing research in London.” Teddy explained before she walked away leaving Richard in his thoughts. This was not a good mixture, he immediately texted her inviting her to a meeting. No response. He was gonna give her a couple of days to mope before checking in on her.

——————————————————————

“Damn it.” Link said with frustration, he’d been trying to contact Amelia all day, he hadn’t heard from her since last week which was their last exchange. It was her day to take Scout, and he had planned a big night for him and Jo, he was gonna confess his love to her. But those plans would be squashed if his ex wouldn’t pick up her damn phone.

“Everything okay?” Webber asked as he stepped into the attending’s lounge.

“Yeah, it’s just Amelia isn’t answering and it’s her night to take scout.”

“Haven’t heard from her all week?”

“No, but we don’t really talk. Haven’t heard from since our last exchange, but that’s not out of the ordinary I want nothing to do with her.” Webbers suspicion was proving to be true.

“You should give her a bit more grace, she never intended to hurt you like this.”

“Well she did.” Webber was debating whether or not to unleash all the things he never said to him.

“You know, she was drowning and you just stood there watching. While you were around the house drinking she was barely holding on. And after everything she’s been through with Christopher I wouldn’t be surprised if her grief wasn’t over taking her. She had a newborn and 3 other kids in her hands within 10 minutes of getting home from the hospital. If you really loved her as you say you did you would’ve been there to help her. But you never checked in.”

With that Webber left the room and made his was to the parking lot. He had to go check in on her. He was giving her a couple of days to mope, but it’d almost been a week since he invited her to that meeting and was met with no response. He was being optimistic, she’d been through worse and stayed sober, she was probably just in her bed closing out the world. He knocked on the apartment door, but there was no answer, now he was thinking the worst. He kept vigorously knocking until the door opened a crack.

“Can I help you?” Amelia simply stated barely showing herself.

“You haven’t been to work and I haven’t seen you at a meeting.”

“I know.” There was uncomfortable silence for awhile until she spoke up again. “I was suspended for a little bit for not answering my pages.”

“And why weren’t you?”

“I’m sad Richard, please just leave me alone. I’m gonna be okay.”

“I can see straight through you shepherd. And don’t think I can’t smell the alcohol on your breath.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“How about ‘Come on in, I’ll make us a pot of coffee’.”

“It’s a mess in here.”

“I’ve seen worse.” Slowly she opened the door and let him in. He hadn’t been in the apartment yet, it was cute. Seemed like a place Amelia would live. His eyes were then drawn to the bottles on the counter and the smashed one in the sink. He watched as she walked over to the coffee machine. He then realizes he’s never seen her drunk before. She’s tripping over herself and is slurring her speech. “So what’s the plan here? Are you gonna get up and clean yourself off? Or are you gonna stay like this forever?”

“The latter.”

“I heard it’s your night with Scout.”

“Yeah he doesn’t need me, I mean he has a new mother who’s ten times better than me.”

“Jo is not going to replace you.”

“Richard I don’t really care. Scouts better off without me, he doesn’t need a spiraling mother in his life.”

“It’s just a slip up.”

“I’m too old for this. I don’t have the strength to get sober again.”

“You are way younger than me when I got sober the last time. I know you Amelia, you are stronger than this disease.”

“No I’m not, I’m nothing.”

“The Amelia Shepherd I know, fights for the her loved ones and her patients, her kindness is indescribable, she’s stronger than this.”

“I can’t I just can’t.” She’s starts to feel tears welling up in her eyes. She doesn’t want to cry in front of him. “It’s too much.”

“We’ll take it one step at a time. First let’s clean this place up and get ourselves to a meeting.”

“Thank you.” Amelia whispered quietly as the older man started to dump out the remaining liquor.