Feb 15, 2025
Favorite Rarepairs: SCP Edition
SCP's in question from top left to bot right:
SCP-4666 x SCP-352
SCP-096 x SCP-5303
SCP-353 x SCP-2800
SCP-1269 x SCP-1805
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from South Korea
seen from Germany
seen from Iraq
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Portugal
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
Favorite Rarepairs: SCP Edition
SCP's in question from top left to bot right:
SCP-4666 x SCP-352
SCP-096 x SCP-5303
SCP-353 x SCP-2800
SCP-1269 x SCP-1805
What do you think Victor's like off-camera? I think he's method, but not in a douchbag way, in a "this is real gunpowder I'm handling and I have actually blown up six times" way
That’s actually Percy’s actor’s dad! And yes he takes it very seriously but in a very comedic way
He acts very much like the Judge’s VA from the Ace Attorney anime, where he’s in character all the time but only if it’s funny
Excuse me, may i please see pictures of your sock obsessed chihuahua? It is for science (the science is I love her)
YES YOU MAY!!!
I am slowly gaining Night's trust by giving him increasingly dangerous weaponry.
I'm slowly losing Eri's trust by giving Night increasingly dangerous weaponry.
Equilibrium
Umm... I wrote you a thing.
Lasers and Feelings
“They tried to do what?!”
“They-” Eri swallowed. It looked like he was trying not to be sick. “They tried to… dismember Pink.”
You can’t wrap your head around it. Pink’s so cute, and friendly, it’d be like cutting the limbs off a corgi.
No, it'd be like cutting the limbs off a human, you remind yourself.
“How did he take it?”
“He hasn’t come out of his room. Neither has Purple. I tried to get them to come out and eat, but…”
You nod. Honestly, if someone broke into your house and tried to dismember you, you wouldn’t leave your room either.
Then you notice something in Eri’s expression. You narrow your eyes. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”
He sighs and nods. “There have been a… a few others. Someone tried to tear out Night’s teeth a few days ago. And a few days before that, someone broke into the Little One’s room and… I think they smashed a raw egg over his head.”
Lots of emotions war inside of you. Confusion wins out. “A raw egg?” He nods grimly. “They also played the trumpet right near his ear.”
The coffee mug shatters in your hand. They can’t do that, not to someone like Little One, they don’t know what that does to someone like…
“Don’t you have guard dogs? Aren’t they, like, trained to murder?”
“There are only two of them, and only one’s on shift at a time. And the… the pets are trained not to scream. If the intruders get into the house without alerting whoever’s on guard, they’re in the clear.”
“Dude, you need a better security system.”
He rolls his eyes. “What do you want me to do, Y/N, get more guard dogs?”
“No…” an idea starts to form in your head. It’s insane, but then again, so are the people breaking into Eri’s house.
“Let me come over and borrow Night and Day for a few hours,” you propose.
Eri looks at you suspiciously. “What do you want with them?”
“If you won’t get more guards, then we’re going to improvise. I think it’s time your house had some booby traps.”
-------------------------
“Mx,” Night says.
You snap out of your thoughts. You’d been staring at Day. And you’d thought you were tall. If the deconditioning ever payed off, Day could easily be a pro basketball player. He could be a basketball team.
“Yeah, Night, would you mind repeating that?”
“The intruders are probably getting in either here,” he points on the map to a greenhouse near the back, “and here,” he points to a small entrance near the side.
“Excellent, very good, Night.” You notice Night preens a bit under the praise. Day gets a weird look in his eyes, like… jealousy? You remind yourself to praise him, too, later. “Is there anywhere else they could even possibly get in? Anywhere at all.”
The two of them look at each other. Day shrugs. “The vents, maybe, Mx.”
You nod. “Perfect. Thank you, Day, that’s great.” Day leans towards you. You remember what Eri told you, and you pat him on the head. He looks thrilled.
“Okay, four possible entrances overall. You two are always watching the front, so that’s taken care of. So we need to secure the vents, the greenhouse, and the side door.” You grin. It may be an evil grin; who’s to say?
“Let’s start in the greenhouse.”
------------------------
The tricky part of arming the greenhouse is that people still have to be able to use it. But that’s what makes it fun.
“Do you boys know anything about snare traps?”
The two guards shake their heads. You smile and show them the rope. The two of them flinch back. Night bares his teeth at you.
“Woah!” you say, realizing your mistake. “It’s not for you, I promise.”
Night doesn’t look so sure, but Day’s expression softens a bit. “Really?”
“Yeah. I don’t have Eri’s permission, right?”
The two of them relax. Honestly, it’s not like you would tie them up anyway, but you need them to trust you right now, and Eri’s only giving you six hours.
"So the idea here is, if someone walks through this door, the trap springs, yanking them up into the air by their ankle. And then this alarm-" you show them the motion sensor you bought, "-will go off, alerting whichever one of you is on duty, so you can come and handle it. And because no one actually uses this door, Eri and the other pets won’t get caught. Does that sound good?”
The two of them seem skeptical, but they nod.
Onto the side door.
------------------------
“You’re sure no one uses this door anymore?”
Night shakes his head. “No one. Just intruders.”
You smile. “Perfect.” You turn to Day. “How’s the hole coming?”
Day had dug a meter-and-a-half deep hole in record time, exactly as big as the welcome mat. He gave you a thumbs up. “Almost done.” “Great!” You praise. “Good job.” You rub him on the head. He practically melts. Smiling, he starts digging even harder. You turn back to the sticks you and Night are sharpening. “How many to we have so far?”
“About twelve, Mx.”
“Perfect.” You pat him on the head too. He doesn’t melt as visibly as Day does, but you can tell he’s pleased.
“Why do we need all these sticks, Mx?” Day asks. He’s been a bit more vocal ever since you’ve promised that Eri wouldn’t let you hurt him, asking for clarification more often.
“I’m glad you asked, Day,” you say. “This is a punji pit. We’re going to line the bottom of the pit with the sharp sticks, and put the welcome mat over it. That way, if an intruder tries to go to the door, they’ll fall into the pit and hurt themselves.”
“Will they die, Mx?”
You think. “No, usually not.” You glance at the hole. “Okay, Day, that’s perfect. Can you help us with the sticks now?”
Day climbs out of the hole and grabs a sharpened stick, holding it over the fire to harden it. Night frowns at the setup.
“Will it keep out Cupcakes?” Night asks suspiciously.
You are confused as to why a trained bodyguard would be concerned about cupcakes, but you nod. “Sure, definitely.” In your experience punji traps win against sugary confections nine out of ten times (don’t ask about the tenth time).
The two guard dogs nod gravely. You decide not to ask.
---------------
“Hey, I just thought I’d check in on-”
Eri stops in his tracks, staring at the scene. In his defense, it is pretty chaotic. Night is standing on Day’s shoulders, shoulder-deep in the vents, installing what looks like a tiny death star in the small space, while you stand to the side handing them various tools that could have come out of Frankenstein’s lab.
“Laser grid, Sir,” Day says.
Night looks out from the vent and nods. “Keeps out Cupcakes.” You lean over to Eri. “They’re really concerned about cupcakes.”
To your surprise, Eri nods gravely. “I should hope so.”
“Ooo-kay… Well anyway, they said intruders might be getting in through the vents. This will take care of them.”
“How?”
“Total disintegration.”
Eri blinks. “I’m sorry, what?”
You explain patiently. “The laser grid will disintegrate anyone who comes in contact with it. Since no one sneaking in through the vents has benign motives, you can rest easy about it.”
Eri just stares, open-mouthed. It’s not an outright no-go, so Night keeps screwing in the laser.
-------------------------
“And that just leaves the front door. But I bet you two can keep that under control, can’t you?” The two nod. You smile and reach up to give them head pats. Night smiles faintly; Day looks overjoyed.
You turn to Eri. “Tell me how it works out.”
He nods, looking a little dazed. He’s still processing the laser grid. You smile and turn to leave, sure that you’ve left the house a safer place.
I just loved this so so much! Seriously I'm so happy.
I laughed so hard in this part:
If the deconditioning ever payed off, Day could easily be a pro basketball player. He could be a basketball team.
It's true!
I love how Night almost attacked the person trying to help, and the CUPCAKE part, everyone in the house is traumatized and the person trying to help is like "what"
I want to see the anons trying to hurt the pets now!
I loved every single part! AHHHHH
Thank you so much! I'm tagging everyone!
@cupcakes-and-pain, @whump-blog, @wolfeyedwitch, @octopus-reactivated, @sufferfictionalcharacters, @rat-father, @badluck990, @onlybadendings, @inpainandsuffering, @mazeish, @neuro-whump, @freefallingup13, @sideblogformindtrash, @temporary-username, @jadeocean46910, @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight, @melancholy-in-the-morning, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @neverthelass, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @whumpfessional, @sinning-shipping-trash, @batfacedliar-yetagain, @scp-1296, @dont-touch-my-soup, @menkisser, @nicolepascaline
This is Wadsworth. He is a problem, but he's cute.
Bonus: baby
He is so so shaped! Babey
Can I ask for some world building? It's totally okay if you don't have anything for this.
I was wondering how Little One's autism (?) affected his training. Does the company have special "learning accomodations" for pets like him? Was he the first? Did they even think to do a psychological evaluation?
The company didn't know he was autistic when he first entered, since he was goodish at masking. When they found out they adaptated the learning structure, both making the lessons more adaptated and make the punishment "customized"
He was supposed to be a lapdog at first, since it wasn't possible they changed to a chores pet, and he was good at this, after the period of adaptation he could obey the orders okay, and of kept in a clear routine with clear rules he did great.
The problem was his mistress, she was warned about all the special accomodations necessary to keep him (what makes me remember, the way Eri's parents treated the pets is illegal, they would be forced to hand over the pets and pay a great fine if found out, they also would be forbidden to own pets) anyway, as I was saying, the company wanted to sell him to someone willing to make the proper accomodations.
His old mistress was sure she could "fix" him, so she lied while buying him, and when she failed on "fixing" him, she sold them as a punch bag.
Also, the company will take neurodivergent people as pets to keep up with demand, since some people ask for this, so yes, they are ready to make special learning accomodations.
Okay the booby traps aren't working as well as I hoped so we're gonna have to improvise.
Night, this is called a grenade launcher-
(panicked Eri noises in the background)
"Night, no!" Eri says seriously and Night looks up betrayed.