Today I spoke with my son, the Alchemist of Alagadda, the one who’d been causing so much trouble lately with that nonsense about the war with Clown Town, or when he botched the execution of that piece-of-shit bird (I won't even say its name, it disgusts me so much). It looked like he’d become a total failure, maybe even a public menace. But instead, after that crushing humiliation, he shut himself up in his tower to study alchemy. And guess what he discovered? A new method to turn lead into gold 33% faster. I’m so proud of him! There hadn't been any progress in this field for 300 years. Alagadda is the true capital of alchemy, take that, Kul-Manas!














