Forbearance
Matt Murdock x f!reader
(gif by @briefcasejuice)
Summary: Separation due to work can prove more complicated than Matt thought
WC: 4k
Warnings/Tags: SMUT, mean dom!matt, unprotected p in v, oral (f receiving), cum, spanking, choking, angst with no comfort, matt's ever present guilt (MDNI)
A/N: This has little to no plot, practically dom!matt in his final form and was created from a ramble that I couldn’t not write a full length about. Sorry if this is on the heavier side (read the warnings again, i hope its concise enough), otherwise, enjoy.
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The days and days compounded into short term contact, the only way you two were intimate was when you would awake in each other's arms. Until the duties of life called, slumping out of bed and away from the warmth;lingering kisses and intertwined fingers. This phase would come and go, yet every time they passed it felt like it lasted an eternity. You wanted nothing more than to keep him longer than those short mornings or silent nights would allow.
While waiting for his return from work one night, you conjured up a plan to pull him away from whatever his mind was fixated on. To draw the attention back to you.
~
“Hey, you” Ushering out of the bedroom, you greeted Matt as he set his coat on the rack. Your hands were interlocked neatly behind your back, puffing your chest out to align with your thoughts. The thoughts of irrefutable plot.
It took him a moment to register your little squeak, those seconds before the acknowledgement giving you just enough clue into how distracted Matt was with work. At least that’s what you thought it to be.
A faint smile would reveal itself. “Hi” He affirmed while loosening the tie that seemed to strangle his neck all day.
Despite that smile dissolving very quickly, it didn’t deter you from keeping the light tone you attempted to sway him with.
“How was work, honey?” You made your way to the couch and took a quiet seat. After kicking off his shoes, he promptly came around the corner straight to the fridge.
“Uneventful” He muttered before popping the already condensating beer open. He took a couple chugs before stopping, exasperating himself in the process.Once collected, he finally picked up on what you were wearing. You’d been home for over an hour so you had time to change out of your work clothes and in something comfortable. And boy, was it comfortable.
You’d picked out one of your favorite oversized shirts, and decided to ditch shorts, silk underwear being the only thing adorning your bottom half. Not that you wearing his clothes was anything new, but Matt equated a connection between whenever you’d be wearing one of his things…and when you wanted attention. Matt knew you knew just how unique both of your scents mixing was for him, a concoction that created a chain reaction in his body. As that realization dawned on him, the grip around the beer got tighter, now aware of the tone of the room.
It was then when you initiated the next step, acting as if nothing was awry or off.
“You must be tired…” you uttered, looking back at him, still in criss-cross on the couch.
The faint rumble of a yawn rose in you, seizing the opportunity to use it for a more lackadaisical effect. Your arms came up in a high stretch, Matt hearing the little tut of your mouth as it widened. Even going as far as accentuating a sigh after you were done. Those silent noises were a second thing you knew bothered Matt, it tapped him into your soft nature, innocent if you will.
Matt was in the middle of another swig before he responded.
“Not…really, no” He didn’t mean for that to come out slow, but it did;he was too occupied with your sigh, soaking in just how coy yet meticulous your actions were. It aroused suspicion in him.
“Well, you look exhausted”
He scoffed, thinking it was funny for a moment until he realized what you were doing next.
Body switching positions, you engaged in another form of distraction. Arching on the couch now, you began your “search” for something wedged between the cushions. All you felt was crumbs and dirt, yet you had to sell that this item was so goddamn important that you were on your hands and knees beckoning after it. Putting on a broadway show for Matt’s senses, so to speak.
Despite knowing Matt wasn’t dumb, you carried on, continuous grunts and sighs letting him know you were begging for him to ask just what you were searching for. It let him know just how fucking desperate you were for his touch. That was the whole point of this, truthfully, it was purely metaphorical, and Matt knew. Your ass up in the air was sending him over that edge, the heat signature coupled with your tiny grunts and breaths you knew only he could hear. The sound your skin made as the fabric of his shirt slid across it, you were dangling your body in front of him and it was incredulous. Matt was damned if he didn’t do something to stop the utter sin of you parading yourself in such a way that was disrespectful.
Christ, he felt disrespected in a way, that you didn’t beckon for his attention, but rather prod at his inability to ask for something. The fact that you knew his selfless behavior well enough to plot something like that, sneering at that weakness he possessed. Matt was terrible at putting himself first, so this situation was one of extremity, he had to do something to protect that fragile piece inside him. He hated that you knew his intricate ins and outs.
He took yet another rushed swig before he cleared his throat, this revelation proving confining, making his chest feel tight. The walls were caving in on his conscience, he had to do something about your so matter-of-fact attitude, roping his sexual tension in twine laced with his greatest flaw.
Matt feebled over to the couch, and if not for your positioning, you’d be able to see the begrudging look on his face. A look riddled with annoyance yet a modicum of curiosity
“What are you looking for, sweetheart?” It came out more as a statement than a question, a heavy sigh headlining its arrival. He took one more long sip from the dripping bottle before setting it down on the table.
You sprung a shit-eating grin, heart beat teeming in your chest. “Oh nothing I can look for it myself”’ you squeaked, unmoving while your right arm felt around the couch.
Coming up behind you, his hands made their entrance in the equation, placing them firmly at the small of your waist.
“I think you need my help, don’t you think?” he flashes a sign of a smile as your body jolts. The quiver of your skin at his contact and sudden pounding heart clarifies his theory that you’re doing it all on purpose;he fell right into your trap and was soaking that prospect up.
Stopping your ‘search’, you remained silent, thoughts racing on where to lead next.
That would be duly interrupted when Matt drew a sharp inhale. His left hand met your ass cheek, with just enough force to make you gasp, back arching further. Your plan to get him where you wanted met with Matt’s frustration went farther than you anticipated.
“What are you doing?” An air of fright juxtaposed your body language, making Matt grin all the harder. You were scared of that force, Matt having opened up something inside him that he revered whenever it arose. Looking back at him, you were studying the way that wicked smile lowered into a flat expression.
“I could ask you the same thing” He coldly murmured, lip stroking along his top teeth to let you know he was calculating his next steps, where to steer that anger bubbling inside him. Matt was feeling a mixture of embarrassed yet defensive. This newfound chagrin coupled with his frustration was dangerous
He hated the way your scent got stronger after the slap, arousal lingering in his nose in a way that sent his blood raging. Your response to his aggression only amplified the thoughts in his head. He was stiffer than any earthly words would express, the belt around his hips beginning to feel suffocating.
Despite being frightened by the way you received such actions, you didn’t want to stop the act. Matt made it clear there were no longer any boundaries, you wanted to see how far it could go.
“I told you, I don’t need your help, Matthew” you got up and away from his grasp, stumbling a little as you steadied your wobbling legs. You prayed that he’d take the sign,”take your chance, Matthew, get me” you thought. Oh, you’d wished you didn’t say that to yourself.
He’s taken aback by your attempt to walk off, but oh, you wouldn’t get a pass that easily.
“Not after making me do that” Matt iterated in his head. As if your innocent attempt to pull him away from work made him act on the intrusive thoughts that built up due to not having you for so long.
You only made it a couple steps before Matt grabbed you by the arm with force, making you wince.
“No, sweetheart, I think you do” he whispered in your ear, the tickle of his breath coupled with the fear coursing through your veins made you triple in vivification. You were definitely in for it now.
That was when he hoisted you up by the legs, throwing you over his shoulder so fast it only instilled more panic in you.
Matt seldom divulged how he’d behave once in the streets, the rage that cascaded out of him, or the strength he possessed. He swore to himself he wouldn’t expose that cunning power to you, much less in the bed. But there was always room for surprises.
“You’re so annoying, y’know that?” he grimaced under his breath, the tone making you question if he really meant it, or he was just too far in his pent-up stupor to notice. While saying goodbye to the living room and welcoming the bedroom door frame, you didn't know if you should be ecstatic at the success of your little plot.
No amount of thought prepared you for the force at which he flung you back down on the bed. With a grunt he practically threw you, letting gravity do the work. Slightly winded, you gazed up at him and he was unrecognizable. The Matt that was ambling around the kitchen earlier was not there anymore. His pink lips were flat, nostrils flaring, and some sort of vengeance in his eyes.
“You want it so bad, don’t you?” He nods, hands stroking his belt to let you know, even if you did already, that the confines of the fabric against his cock was wildly uncomfortable. Biting his lip and sighing, Matt used all his patience to wait for your answer. With your breath steadying a bit, you tried not to give into his intimidating demeanor.
“...still don’t know what you mean, Matty” Your legs idled with a slight tremor, distracted by the way Matt began to undo his tie, throwing it off to the side as he started on the buttons shortly after. He scoffed accompanied by a head shake. Once his torso was revealed, with a sheen of sweat already decorating his muscles, he climbed between you as he rid his hands of the shirt. Freed now, they came under your arms, Matt closing the space in by capturing your entire mouth in one flex of his jaw.
He’s livid at the way you groan into the kiss, affirming to himself that you’ll keep feigning ignorance until you were given what you wanted. Those wandering hands of yours told a different story though, that you were tired of pretending you didn’t want every single shred of Matt’s power being put to good use.
“You know exactly–” *kiss* “--what you’re doing” *kiss*
He’s leaving harsh kisses on your neck that make your skin pulse with every suck, if you weren’t already whiplashed by his weight pinning you. Your legs were facing the air because of his knee positioning, hands roaming Matt’s now bare back, his muscles tensing under your fingers.
You grin before mumbling “...show me what I did then” knowing it would send him impossibly further over the edge, and it does. It scared you that you didn’t want to stop.
Matt bites down on your neck suddenly, growling ever so faintly as he pulls up and away.
“I’ll fucking show you–” He barks, grabbing your legs hard, beginning to flip you over before you can steady yourself with your arms. Your face slams against the duvet as the sting of his force registers, his hands now reaching for your hips to drag them backward to the edge of the bed.
Ripping your panties right down your thighs, he answers the unmistakable call, clit swollen and ready for attention. Matt wastes no time getting on his knees, delving nose first into your hole. The very point of his tongue catches your clit, swiping up and down deliciously, pulling whimpers from you faster than you could’ve prepared. Lips coming down on it with a hard suck, a languid yet unapologetic moan erupted from your mouth, face still pressed on the bed trying your best not to squirm. Matt held you firmly as those vulgar sounds coming from both you and his ministrations caused him to tut his hips, erection begging for a reprieve.
Luckily for him, he knew just when you were on the brink.
Alternating between licking and sucking, Matt could hear the rush of blood collecting in your stomach, if your desperate mewls and fists grabbing at the sheets weren’t enough of an indicator. With that, he pulled away after a particularly harsh suck, the squelch permeating in his ears, until it was replaced with your pleas to continue.
“Ah ah–stay there” Matt knew you’d try to wiggle out of position, so he made sure to keep a grip on either of your hips to reassure you this was far from over.
A drawn out whine would earn you another slap on the ass, harder than the one on the couch.
“I’ll have you how I’ll have you…” He whispered, brows downturned. Those couple words brought the fright back to your being, reminded that you awoke something in him, not knowing if you should feel ashamed or exhilarated.
You were concerned by the way it made you wetter, and Matt noticed too. His chest was heaving and he was done waiting to have you. Not even stopping to wonder how he let it go this far.
Matt didn’t even bother taking his pants off, he gets to loosening the belt that seemed to cement itself to his waist, and nudges them down just enough for some relief.
You knew what he was doing and it made you all the more anticipate, afraid that you would beg to see his cock go free, the way it effortlessly sprung out. The tip was already coated with pre-cum, the cold air making Matt strangle a moan. With one hand on your hip and the other urgently fisting himself, Matt taunted you with his deliberate words.
“You need me…you need me so bad, huh–?"
He’d rather force you to admit it than admit to himself that he needed you, that he needed to do a better job at being less selfless. Matt needed to know that he had a purpose, and it was to pleasure you. Give you all of him.
“--answer me!” He purposefully paused just to listen to your powerless whining before barking at you again.
“Yesmatthewpleaseplease!--” You abandoned any and all wit left in you, wanting nothing more than to feel nothing at all, nothing but his strength and girth. It didn’t take much to surrender to someone as domineering as Matt, his charm and debauched looks reeling you in, letting him pull you apart and assemble you together again and again.
With that, he crowded over you, hand on your waist guiding your pelvis upward. Taking the liberty of grabbing a pillow and stationing it under your chest, you waited for his go ahead.
“Stay still f’me, sweetheart–yes”
It took no effort to slide into you, curses already falling from his still glistening lips;you were incredibly tight, walls clenching around his cock immediately. A soft gasp riddled with satisfaction was all Matt needed to know before he began, one hand on your shoulder and the other on your side. It seemed out of character, but Matt knew he didn’t need permission to start, you’d been yearning for him for too long to slow this down any longer. He ran the narrative that you needed him more than he needed you.
Before you knew it, Matt set a pace that returned the fire to your being, tension rebuilding itself quicker this time. Your contented moans of bliss were what Matt singled out in his brain, that and the sound your cunt made every time he pummeled his cock deeper in you. His own grunts soon met the frequency of yours, chasing his release right after you.
The way his hips jutted showed utter depravity, but it didn’t come close to his words.
“Take it like a good girl–yes–yes” His exhales got sharper and sharper, quickening breaths letting you know he wouldn’t last long. Your moans were gritty, almost bordering on painful, but Matt was in no position to guide you through the absolute beating that is taking his cock. You were all his in this very moment, he could care less about soothing you. He thought back to your measly method to tempt him, only fueling the beating he gave your cunt in the same position you were waving it in front of him earlier. That thought boosted the intensity of his wicked grins, the true face of the devil inside him.
Those tiny babbles of confirmation gave you all the strength left to ride out until the end, your back and pelvis beginning to ache from sitting this way for so long.
“C’mere–” Matt tested your capability to arch further, pulling you shoulder upward then switching his grip to your neck suddenly with a grunt. Your arms barely adjusted in time, crying out to express the multiple changes, most notably the way Matt tucked his fingers into your flesh. He always shied away from outright choking, telling you and himself that it wasn’t him, yet Matt didn’t see a single thing wrong with it right now. It felt natural, almost instinctual. You were his, his to give any and all affection, even if it was pain-inducing.
“Y’like it when I dog-fuck you, hm?—fuck” Matt’s teeth gritted so rough he felt it in his skull.
God, you loathed the way he’d taunt you with speaking, knowing absolutely nothing would be coming out except for hoarse, broken up whimpers. The way your back ached meant shit in comparison to the force at which he fucked you, warmth comforting you in such a filthy way. That’s just what soothed you, not his absent words that were usually present.
Matt closed the space between you, resting his body almost plank-like, alternating between squeezing your neck or clutching your head as his thrusts only got more vigorous, making sure he was giving you all of him. Every last inch before the floodgates came. Tears inevitably blurred your vision, his name coming out in slurred, condensed sobs as your head was against the pillow.
Words completely failed you at this point, the knot came undone with another minute, Matt’s animalistic grunts doing it for you. You unraveled upon hearing and feeling him enjoy you, finally getting that release he so desperately needed. A release that dissolved those devilish thoughts in his head, or so he thought.
Matt had devolved into a sack of flour once he met his climax, not even checking if you came because he knew it was fruitless. He’d never once failed to bring you to completion. Your walls fluttered as he fucked his cum into you, Matt’s hips stuttering as your moans melded together like one dying symphony.
His world was spinning, it took him a couple moments before he caught onto the salt in the air; the taste of your fresh tears. Your breathing was yet to steady, limbs weak as your bottom half was still stuck in its place. Matt noted your heart beat barely slowed, still drumming aggressively as you laid there obviously stuck in thought. The heat dispersing in you was a sensation now bittersweet.
Matt pulled out of you slowly, his sensitive cock twitching upon inching out of you one last time. The room quickly stopped whirling and he was aware of your state, your pelvis giving out once absent of his grip. With your legs sliding down to the bed and your body thudding against it, you exhaled sharply, staring to the right side of the room. The burgundy bricks were the only thing you could focus on as your body went limp, racking your brain about how Matt just made you feel.
He quickly got off his knees, moving to sit at the edge of the bed just next to your feet, pulling his pants back up.
You waited for his caress which still hadn’t come, alarming you even further. Suddenly your brain connected to its tired limbs, rolling yourself over and covering up with the already messy duvet.
Gazing over at Matt, you questioned the way his hands laid limp as his elbows rested on his knees. His body language was nothing short of cold, that realization making you feel emptier than words could express. Not to mention the after effect of events transpired, the heat in between you fully slipping away, with nothing to calm your afflicted body.
But those physicalities couldn’t hold a candle to the emotional turmoil Matt now faced. It was impending the second his high was over and the warmth of your body couldn’t blur out what he’d done to you anymore.
“...Matt?” you spoke, with a silence that showed your best attempt to make him feel less guilty than he already did. As if to let him know he hadn’t pulverized you to dust;you were still in one piece, no matter whatever tricks his mind played as he lost himself in you.
You attempted a hand on his shoulder, yet the muscle flexing below it dispelled enough. It spoke for itself, along with his head turning in your direction then shortly back to in its former, facing in between his legs.
It didn’t require doctorate-like skills to see Matt was disgusted with himself, posture slumped as his breathing was labored.
Soon enough, tears pricked back into your eyes. “...you didn’t hurt me, i’m sorry–”
“--don’t–don’t apologize, okay?” Matt paused between those ‘don'ts’ with a pitiful smile, in a way laughing at himself, knowing he should be apologizing. He was fucking this up royally.
“And yes…yes I did–” His head quirked to let you know he felt the ache your body was in, poorly concealed as that’s all he could focus on in this aftermath. It tripled the disdain he felt, knowing he most definitely disregarded you, how he’d lost control. Every hair on his skin stood straight, all surrendering to the plague of his regret, as the words he had the audacity to scare you with replayed over and over.
Matt was beside himself, having ruined you just to prove some point that picked at his most insecure crevices. You’ve amended the time you’ve spent apart, yet, at what cost?
The devil revealed himself, in moments that were only meant for Matt Murdock, that loving interior you knew all too well.
But knowing it well would be the downfall. Did you really know him?
~
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