hear me out: kazuichi and gundham spying on their friends’ first date (sonia and akane, respectively), but they fall in love (and kiss 😳😳 in the bushes outside Nezumi Castle?? 👉🏻👈🏻😳) - queer eye anon (also I’m working on rewritten hifumi lore, but I might just make a sideblog for it 👀)
YOU’RE SO RIGHT YOU’RE SO RIGHT YOU’RE SO RIGHT
it starts out as a begrudging sort of thing cause neither of them like each other 😳 but Kazuichi’s like “I need to make sure nothing happens to miss Sonia so I’m gonna be supervising everything. without telling her.” And Gundham is like THE HELL YOU ARE
but if Gundham tells him NOT to do something, that’s a surefire way for Souda to dig in his heels and do whatever the thing is that Gundham hates 10x more
So Gundham is like. fine. but at least let me come so I can keep you from making a fool of yourself and ruining my bestie’s date.
they fight about it. they’re like toddlers. Kazuichi definitely bites him.
Eventually, though, Souda is like UGHHHHHH FINE.
And then they go stake out the soniakane date because they’re both feral idiots <3
It starts out with a nice little walk for the girls - they’re holding hands and chatting and Akane is showing off her fighting moves while Sonia looks on in amazement! There’s mentions of Novoselic courting customs, to which Akane replies that she doesn’t really understand what Sonia’s saying, but she’s willing to do those things if they’re important to the Nevermind girl.
Meanwhile, Kazuichi is positively STEWING WITH RAGE behind the bushes. Gundham is telling him to shut his stupid whore mouth, but Souda is 100% throwing a total bitch fit.
Gundham: I need something that will shut this moron up
also Gundham, immediately: ah. The kiss of death. Surely the most reasonable and efficient and platonic of solutions to this conundrum.
Anyway. he kisses the bastard. And it works! Kazuichi shuts the fuck up! and he is also flustered and blushing and panicking because what. what the hell. what in the hell fuck was that. oh no he liked it. oh no he liked it.
Kazuichi is a big baby about it and pulls his beanie down over his eyes so he doesn’t have to think about anything for a while. Gundham is losing his shit, internally, but is ultimately and performative lt nonchalant about the whole thing.
I tend to imagine these two falling in love takes a LONG fucking time - a bit of a slow burn, if you will - so this would be the first instance in a lengthy series of enemies-to-lovers nonsense :)
Kazuichi hides in his room for at least a week succeeding the kiss. Akane and Sonia are both incredibly confused. Gundham refuses to comment. <3
