#season-five

[princess-onion-ring]

Daniel is so sweet when he talks to little Charlotte in 1977 my feels ugh alskxnsbfiakemcnwjfksn

[thai-vids-blog]

เหงาเท่าอวกาศ - SEASON FIVE Feat.ฟักกลิ้ง ฮีโร่ [Official MV] #seasonfiveband #merecordslabel

เพลง เหงาเท่าอวกาศ (Lonely As Space) ศิลปิน. Season Five Feat. ฟักกลิ้ง ฮีโร่ เนื้อร้อง ฟองเบียร์ ทำนอง ปฏิเวธ อุทัยเฉลิม เรียบเรียง เพิ่มศักดิ์ พิสิษฐ์สังฆการ โปรดิวเซอร์ เพิ่มศักดิ์ พิสิษฐ์สังฆการ Co-Producer Season Five

หลงทางอยู่กลางผู้คนมากมาย สวนมาผ่านไปได้แค่มองตา ยิ้มไปตอบมา แค่ความนิ่งเฉยที่มีให้ฉัน

เห็นใครต่อใครเขามีคู่กัน เห็นใครต่อใครเขามีรางวัล เป็นกอด เป็นหอม เป็นจูบ เป็นฉันได้แค่อิจฉา

ความเหงามันใหญ่ขึ้นทุกที พื้นที่ตรงนี้ที่ในหัวใจเกินจะเก็บไว้ ความเหงาก่อตัวเป็นเหมือนเงา ปกคลุมชีวิตเรา เหมือนฉันเป็นดาว

แต่ความเหงา เป็นอวกาศ ฉันคงไม่อาจซ่อนมันไว้ข้างในจิตใจ เมื่อความเหงา ใหญ่เท่าอวกาศ ฉันเลยไม่อาจ ที่จะรู้สิ้นสุดที่ใด

หน้าตาไม่ดี ก็มีคู่มา ร่ำรวยมั่งมี นี่แฟนดารา คิดไปเจ็บมา ว่าผิดตรงไหนนะ คนอย่างฉัน

ช่วยเบาหน่อยคนที่เป็นคู่กัน ลดลงหน่อยตอนที่มอบรางวัล อย่ากอด อย่าหอม อย่าจูบ ให้ฉันต้องคอยอิจฉา

[Rap] ดาวคณะเป็นแฟนกับดาวซัลโว ดาวโป๊เค้ากรี๊ดดาวบนบ่าพันโท ดาวคู่รักให้ดอกไม้กันโชว์ ฉันมีแต่ดอกให้ธนาคารเพราะเพิ่งไปดาวน์คอน­โด ดาวพลูโตมีบริวารห้าดวง โลกแม้ถึงจะเหงายังมีดวงจันทร์ไว้ควง อยากมีดาวในทรวงแม้โดนดาวหลอกดาวลวง เหมือนดาวเรืองดาวโรยของแม่ผึ้งพุ่มพวง เห็นเขาควง จู๋จี๋กันเมื่อไหร่ อยากโดดกองไฟกลายเป็นดาวลูกไก่ เหมือนโดนชนด้วยอุกกาบาตลูกใหญ่ เพราะเราไม่เคยคู่ใคร ตอนเขาเล่นปูไต่ เหมือนความโสดมันคือหลุมดำแล้วฉันเป็นเพีย­งเห็บเหา เหมือนหยดน้ำรอดวงอาทิตย์แผดเผา เหมือนอิจฉานั้นคือวงแหวนแล้วใจฉันเป็นดาว­เสาร์ เหมือน ฉัน เป็น ดาว แต่ความเหงา

Follow thai-vids

[armorhues]

Perhaps a CPR is in order

Some things I wish I could revive but the level of feasibility ranges from difficult to impossible:

My anxiety and excitement over the next Harry Potter book (yes, not movie).

My addiction to the exchange of quotes and jokes through SMS.

My addiction to watching movies.

Being in math classes that I actually enjoy and getting good grades at the end of the day.

Having regular foodtrips and constant communication with my first college friend Betsy.

Spending long weekends without a care in the world with the people I am most comfortable with (that'll be both of you, TAMErs and MCO friends).

Sitting on my favorite spot in the Lagoon on a cloudy, windy day.

Writing, finalizing and/or arranging songs when a melody or line hits my head.

Writing creatively, which results to my works that may suck for others but may be satisfactory to my taste.

Cheap, discounted Internet connection minus the catch (hey, it's dial-up).

The days when I could go offline for a week and I wouldn't even care less.

The days when I was more of a talker than a listener.

The days when I was braver (even if not necessarily rational).

Holding and squeezing the hand of the person I adore, who happens to adore me just as much.

My being affectionate to Mom, whom I haven't talked to for almost a month until two weeks ago.

The gruelling but awesome days of internship - I'm not too sure if I should include this. I'm waiting on something that may not be as similar as the experience, but related nonetheless. Until then, I shall wait, pray and keep my fingers crossed.

Keeping my Multiply blog up to date --- emphasis mine, of course --- and crossposting to LiveJournal in the process.

[armorhues]

This is the part where I get all happy, senti and feel old at the same time

Hey guys! Una sa lahat, salamat sa inyong lahat na nakita at nakasama ko today whether briefly or not. Ang saya lang na ang dami kong nakita at nakasamang MCOers today than my last visit to Diliman post-graduation day. Resident mems, grabe, I loved that I saw a lot of you guys today. Dapat talaga ata bumisita ako pag may event kayo kaysa on a regular school day. Hindi ko rin pinagsisihan na mas kayo ang kausap ko at mas binigyan ko kayo ng atensyon habang nasa UP pa ko kanina, kasi I really missed being with you guys! Nakakatawa, at random ko lang piniling mag-black shirt but lo and behold, black pala ang dress code niyo for today! I soooo belong! Hahaha. And I'm also glad na dahil nakasama ko kayo nang bonggaly on my last year in UP, hindi ako culture shocked sa mga changes in CMC---lalo na sa vocabulary na hindi matanggap / hindi magets ng mga kasama kong "tanders" k? Hihihi. On the Docuniversity, sayang lang na hindi ko naumpisahan at late ako (bilang FAIL ang paggising ko nang maaga k?) kaya I really don't know if my opinion on the event matters. Pero on my limited POV, I think you guys did a great job. Internet-speaking, the publicity was oh-so-fine. You clinched a tie-up with Journ Dept---kahit bitchessa na ang bagong chair---nang hindi na kinailangang kumindat si Cheurman kay Rachel Khan (hohoho). The turnout of non-MCO audience is also commendable. At in fairness nakijoin din ang mga alaga niyong freshies! All is well. I've heard a bit of the postmortem of the EB 2009-2010 on the event, so kung tutuusin my rating of the event can easily be swayed by the what-could-have-been-done's and yung mga butas ng event. Alam ko rin na karamihan sa residents ay UBER perfectionists pagdating sa events kahit sabihin ng lahat na "Job well done!" (Yes Kea, Jedd and Twin, I'm looking at you.) But let's put it this way---and I think I've told this to Ana on our personal email exchanges---you have a lot more events, a whole school year's worth of it in fact, to learn from and override those mistakes. Sabihin niyo man na "But this is an ABS-CBN event we're talking about! Big time 'to nang bonggz 'te k?" IMHO I don't think the ABS-CBN people feel it was a flop. After all, karamihan sa mga yan ay kapwa nating iskolar ng bayan, so don't fret. I'd like to think those waaaay tanders at ABS have seen worse. XD On an almost concluding note, guys, resident mems, wag niyong bigyan ng sakit ng ulo ang EB ha? Hindi porket seemingly perfect ang EB niyo eh magbaba-Bahala Na Ang EB ang attitude kei? UP MCO isn't just about its EB. Isa kayong unit so work together and work cohesively. Yuck, now I sound like a tander making sermon, but seriously, it's not about what the EB can do for you and the org but what all of you can do for the org (and not just for the EB). Vice versa na rin yan for the EB ha! Keribels? Kei. Okay, for the other shoutouts. Oy Jean, pare, dude, hindi man tayo nakapag, er, nagkamoment sa may pishbolan, alam ko namang marami pa tayong moments para er, makabili ng kendi sa may pishbolan. Debbanga. Jedd, utang na loob, alam kong naguumapaw ka ng kamachismohan, pero wag mo naman sanang kalimutang humingi ng tulong sa mems! Hayop ka, binuhat mo lahat ng yun! Hindi ka na talaga tatangkad niyan. Paano ka na lang makakatalon sa ladder kung, well, kulang ka sa height? Hahahaha! Twin, not a great day to wear a skirt huh. Good luck kay Aguila (and that goes to you as well Rachelgurrl), marami namang residents na nakapag-Aguila so take a cue from them. I miss you! XD Vicky, take a cue from Twin and I's girlcrush Karen Davila: move on lang nang move on. Hindi ko sinasabing madali, hindi ko rin sinasabing mabilis, pero putsa, with a man boy like that, tangina he doesn't deserve you. You're made of waaaay better stuff than that, in your words, asshole. Naniniwala pa rin ako sa lakas at resiliency mo k? Hughughug! Pardner, ikaw ang nagtulak sa akin to get my ass off and visit UP and attend the Docuniversity, pero hindi naman kita nakainteract nang bongga. Pero kebs, I'm happy you're working again. Ryan, can I just say, bakit parang ang haggard ng outfit mo kanina? Pero anyway, keri lang. Ivy-chan and Ynna, my Bolinao girls, can I just say I'm so happy to be reunited with you guys again? As in super. Flau, it was really nice seeing you again. Ingat sa biyahe, at pati na rin palagi. XD Reuben, Adie, I swear nag-enjoy ako sa SM Annex lakwatsa natin. Putsa bespren, nahihiwagaan pa rin ako na nagbago ang tono ng text ni Mom nang ma-name drop kita! At 'ben, wag mong kalimutang banggitin ulit ang music recommendations mo dahil bilang nag-empty batt si George eh nakalimutan ko na yung mga musikerong pinagsasasabi mo. OA man, pero sobrang ang saya-saya ko because of this Friday. As in sobrang happy mood pa rin kahit nagsisink in na yung pagod ko. Haha. See, I've been stuck in a depressed non-PreMenstrualSyndrome-related rut for the past few days, so I guess I needed this whole day lakwatsa to psych up my spirits again. See, I'm even back to blogging again (albeit privately). Thanks, you guys. Sobrang salamat. *big, big hug to all*

[armorhues]

I guess it won't hurt to make this semi-public and sorta official

Fifteen months ago I posted this blog that barred comments because I didn't want to jinx it. Entitled "Boom. Yeah. C'mon." the entry went like this:

It's a long shot, but I'm going to take a stab at it anyway. *fingers crossed*

Well, I have to admit that though I genuinely had fun with my internship, I've kept my fingers crossed ever since. And on Tuesday, I received the news, the news that marked the day of counting down the last days of unemployment and the day the long shot has been stabbed. Bow.

[armorhues]

Pagmuni-muni sa mga alaala at sa Napayapa

Hindi ako ipinanganak noong People Power. Hindi rin ako buhay nung namatay si Ninoy. Ipinanganak ako sa mga magulang na hindi sumama sa EDSA. Ang tanging (historical) claim to fame ko lang ay ipinanganak ako nung ni-ratify ang 1987 Constitution. Sa araw na yun, bumoto ang buong Pilipinas hindi lamang para sa pagbabago kundi para ipamukha sa lahat ang suporta nila sa babaeng simbolo ng demokrasyang Pilipino. Pilipino. Sa salitang iyon nakapaloob kung bakit ako patuloy na nalulungkot na wala na si Tita Cory. Sa salitang iyon nakapaloob ang tanging dahilan bakit ako apektado gayong hindi ko naman kamag-anak ang namatay. Hindi lamang ako nawalan ng dating Pangulo. Para akong nawalan ng lola. Para akong nawalan ng sandigan. ********** Ginising ako ng ate ko sa balitang inasahan kong darating pero idinasal kong sana'y hindi na dumating. Noong naglipana pa ang mga vigil at mga misang iniaalay kay Tita Cory, palagi akong dinedebate ng ate ko kung bakit pa kami nagdadasal. Eh kung hirap na talaga siya, bakit hindi na natin siya pakawalan? Kung wala na sa mga kamay natin ang pagbuti ng kanyang kalagayan, bakit pa tayo nagdadasal para sa isang bagay na alam nating hindi mapagbibigyan? Ang sabi ko naman, alam naman nating hindi na natin maidadasal ang paggaling niya. Bahala na ang Diyos kung tutugunin niya ang paniniwala ni Tita Cory sa himala. Ang idinadasal natin marahil ay ang kanyang mapayapang paglisan. Ang idinadasal natin marahil ay para maibsan kahit kaunti ang kanyang paghihirap. Walang pinatunguhan ang aming debate. Pero naroon kami noong Sabado ng umaga. Nakatutok. Tahimik. Nalulungkot. Hindi pa rin pala kami handa sa ganoong balita. ********** Hindi ko rin maipaliwanag bakit ako lubos na nalungkot. Kung tutuusin, kakapirasong personal na alaala lamang ang mayroon ako kay Tita Cory. Noong haiskul ako, iniikot niya ang mga Katolikong eskwelahan upang hikayatin ang mga kabataang magdasal. Kasama sa inikot niya ang eskwelahan namin. Sa araw na iyon, makakasama namin siya sa misa. At kahit may ilang mga estudyante mula sa ibang eskwelahan ang dadayo rin sa amin, pinili nilang ako ang tutugtog sa instrumento noon. Tanda ko pa ang kabang dama ko noon. Hindi lamang ako tumutugtog para sa Diyos, tumutugtog din ako para sa kabataan, tumutugtog din ako sa dating Pangulo. Kakatwa mang kaisipan yun noon, pero yun talaga ang nasa isip ko noon. Dala marahil ng kaba, marami akong pagkakamali sa araw na iyon. Para sa akin, isa yun sa pinakakahiya-hiya kong pagtugtog. Kung gaano ko kagamay ang pagtugtog ay siya namang pagtraydor sa akin ng kaba. Saglit kong nasilip ang dating Pangulo mula sa pulpito ng organ, at sa aking kaba ang tangi ko lamang naisip ay kung gaano kaamo ang kanyang aura. ********** Hindi ko iniyakan si Tita Cory, pero iniyakan ko si Kris Aquino. Oo, aminado ako doon. Naalala ko pa nang nakapanayam din dati si Kris tungkol sa kanyang dating relasyon at sa kanyang pagkakasakit. Sabi ko, hindi naman tayo nakidalamhati noon kay Kris. Pero nang nagpakita na ang kanyang ina na bukas ang bisig upang yakapin ang kanyang bunso, naisip ko noon, "Kris, hindi ka ba nahihiya sa nanay mo?" Pero hindi na lamang ito basta panayam na magpapahiya sa kanyang ina, kundi panayam na paniguradong ipagmamalaki nilang mag-ina. Ang totoo niyan, excited ako sa panayam ni Boy Abunda sa kanya. Kasi alam kong mas magiging totoo ang lahat. Kasi alam kong maikukuwento na sa wakas ang mga detalyeng dating pinlit ikubli ng kanilang pamilya. Kasi alam kong sa kwento niya magiging tunay si Tita Cory. Hindi na lamang basta dating Pangulo. Hindi na lamang basta ang pigurang nagpakaba sa aking pagtugtog. Hindi na lamang basta nanay ng artista. Sa kwento ni Kris, tila mas naging tunay na tao si Corazon Aquino. ********** Unang araw ko kanina sa opisina. Bilang wala akong cable, aminado akong excited akong pumasok dahil maari akong makanood ng paglipat ng labi ng Ginang nang hindi nahaharang ng mga babaeng nagsasayawan at mga magkaparehang naglalaplapan. Habang isinusulat ko ang mga salita ni Maan Hontiveros na sinabing tila hinirang ng Diyos si Tita Cory, nakaramdam ako ng inggit. Na sana'y buhay ako noong panahon niya. Na sana'y nasaksihan ko ang lahat ng iyon tulad nang kung paano ako nagiging saksi sa kanyang paglipat sa Katedral. Wala ako sa Makati kanina, ngunit saksi ako sa bawat hiyaw na umalingawngaw sa Ayala. Saksi ako sa mga pagtaas ng mga kamao, tanda ng respeto at pakikiisa sa namayapa. Nakinig ako sa sabayang pagkanta ng "Bayan Ko." Nakinig ako sa muling pagpapasalamat sa sambayanan ang bunsong nawalan ng ina. Saksi ako sa lahat ng iyon at ako ay namangha. At naisip ko kung bakit nga ba tayo nakatutok, kung bakit ganoon na lamang ang pagtitiyaga ng lahat na umabang sa parada. Walang botohan. Walang eleksyon. Maraming rason bakit tayo naroon o naki-miron. Maaring doon natin naipakita ang ating gutom sa pagbabago. Maaring doon tayo nagdalamhati sa ating paghabol sa tunay na pagbabago. Pero sa mga panahong iyon, muli nating ipinamukha sa lahat ang walang-patid nating suporta para sa babaeng naging simbolo ng demokrasyang Pilipino. Pilipino. Iyon ang nagbubuklod sa ating lahat. At naisip kong sana'y hindi rito nagtatapos ang pagkakaisa.

[armorhues]

But it felt so good I (kinda) wanna do it again

Something happened on my way home from MCO Night afterparty, 4 am-ish in Monumento. After 45 years of waiting for passengers, the jeepney I was in decided it was time to move it. Unfortunately for me, some idiot thought it was also time to let out his music player and boast of his excellent atrocious playlist: Akon singing syllables expressing how horny he was. Pissed, tired, sleepless and intoxicated (don't worry, it was just one bottle), I was obviously in no mood to be courteous. "Puta," I mindlessly blurted. "Wala ka bang konsepto ng headphones?" Although I didn't say it that loud --- I just wanted to vent, that was all --- I guess it was loud enough for my seatmate to hear. He pressed pause in his touchphone and kept it for good. Aba malay ko bang sa kanya yun ano? Shocked at my own daring and my hidden confrontational self rearing its ugly head, I whispered a forced "Thanks" and fell asleep. Silence is indeed golden.

[armorhues]

Ultimately, it's Rach vs. Rach

I am now officially one month married...to my work! Yes, one month nang employed, one month nang pinagtitiyagaan ng ANC, one month na akong tuluyang nakaalpas mula sa malungkot na mundo ng unemployment. Hep hep hooray sa codeswitching! Haha. :) I admit it hasn't been easy for me, but I'm still here and I am grateful for that. So to celebrate, I'm going to write about the experience. As if I haven't been writing for 5-6 days a week! Hohoho. Rach vs. The Morning My day starts at 4 a.m. I KNOW RIGHT. It's a stark contrast to the past five years when I am sleepless at 4 a.m. while cramming for an article or thesis. I am actually surprised at how my alarm clock works for me, kasi nung college hindi niya ako kayang gisingin. So I take a bath, eat breakfast and stuff. I have the TV tuned in to the DZMM Teleradyo simulcast so I can get my first news fix. Around 5 a.m. I leave the house, targeting to reach Sgt. Esguerra before 6 a.m. Mind you, I have only failed twice at it. I detested the sunrise in college because it always prompts me to say "Sinisikatan na naman ako ng araw nang walang natatapos (Bedspacer Leni, 2005)," but now I enjoy literally racing against it. Nerdy as it sounds, I like seeing the initial rays of sunshine on my way to work. I consider it a success if I reach the ABS compound before the sun has fully risen. Added visual bonus pa kung maganda yung kulay ng skies, hehe. Rach vs. The Job For those who don't know what exactly what my job entails, here’s the slug: I write scripts for the ANC morning shows News@8, Mornings@ANC and Dateline Philippines. The executive producers (EPs) check my script, I ask the production assistants to have the video edited and the possible infographics prepared, then voila, a story. Skip this part if you're not interested in the detailed job description. As soon as I get to the newsroom, I check the front page stories of Business Mirror, Business World, Manila Bulletin, and (just recently) ABS-CBNNews.com so I can summarize at least three from each publication for News@8. Sometimes I get to write a handful of the scripts for the first gap a.k.a. major news stories. At the same time we all monitor the interviews in Umagang Kay Ganda, which airs on ANC before News@8. If the interviews are BIG news, the EP sometimes assigns me to write about them. That'll involve megaheavytranscribing and ultraspeedyscriptwriting. While News@8 is on, I scout the video feed from The Associated Press and Reuters; check RSS feeds of the numerous news sites through Google Reader; and visit my favorite quirky sites Digg.com, Fark.com, Buzzfeed.com and Ananova.com to look for possible feature stories worthy of airtime for the two-hour Mornings@ANC. Then I prepare the features lineup and write some of them. I have to make sure I'm done with the features scripts by 9 a.m., the start of Mornings@ANC. Recently I've been assigned to go to the control room to check if there are grammar, spelling and factual errors in every text that goes on air: crawlers, upstreams, downstreams, headlines, EVERYTHING. (So yeah, if you spot any errors on air, feel free to text me! Hohoho!) I sit beside the chargen people who work their magic with every possible software. Sila ang mga panginoon ng Photoshop at Typing Maniac, hahaha. At 11 a.m. after the hourly rundown of the latest headlines goes on air, I go back to the newsroom and write about two scripts of international news for Dateline Philippines. With my latest assignment for Mornings, this task hasn't been easy these days. More on the struggle later. By 12 p.m. I'm off again to the control room to check the texts coming out of the TV screens, though this time another writer gets the bigger checking share. By 1 p.m. after ANC Headlines, I consider the day done. So there. *sigh* Rach vs. The Medium College journ life and internship life have conditioned me to write news articles consisting of around 300-1000 words. Okay lang sana yun, pero iba na ngayon. This time I have to write 30-second-long scripts. Buti na lang kita agad sa computer kung gaano kahaba yung script. With the kind of scripts I write, hindi ako pwedeng lumagpas ng 30 seconds, kasi the bigger news obviously gets the longer airtime. So good luck talaga kung paano mo pagkakasyahin ang context, backgrounders and all sa trenta segundos. But it doesn't end there. I have to think about the visuals too. Malamang I write for TV ‘di ba? Anong silbi ng magandang script kung wala namang kasamang video? Kung walang video available, anong magandang graphics ang dapat isama to complement the script? Lahat ng yun kailangang pag-isipan. It was tough at first, getting used to writing for TV. I am getting the hang of it, but I know I still have a lot to learn. I also have to contend with the lack of Sky Cable coverage here in our place, which means I can't monitor ANC shows after work. Siyempre para mas maging mahusay ako sa trabaho ko, dapat mino-monitor ko yung sarili kong channel 'di ba? Para alam ko ang tamang atake nila sa storya, lalo na't iba ang target audience ng ANC. So when something big airs on ANC such as Noynoy's guesting on Talkback or the live coverage of Senate hearings, I will have absolutely no idea about what transpired. Sure the EPs let the more experienced writers "storify" those ANC exclusives, but what if the time comes when I'm assigned to that task? Oh well papel. And then there's speed. Sanay naman na ako sa madalian, thanks to my internship experience with online journ. Pero dahil sa mga nabanggit ko sa itaas, tila namamatay ako sa bawat minutong nag-aalala ako na hindi pa ako tapos sa script at malapit nang umere ang programa ko. Kung dati I regularly allow myself a break from news fatigue—something most journ students feel whether they admit it or not—ngayon kahit after the shift umiinog pa rin ang mundo ko sa balita. I check Twitter where most accounts I follow are dedicated to news. Heck, I even record the major items shown in TV Patrol. Lahat ng yun ginagawa ko para kinabukasan may grasp ako ng sinusulat ko, kasi napapatagal ako pag wala talaga akong idea kung tungkol saan yung balita. Grabe. Kung nakakapayat lang ang pressure from these things, underweight na ko ngayon. Haay. Rach vs. The Bad Days Sa trabahong ito, isang buong team ang nakasalalay sa isang produksyon, and if you do good, eh yun naman talaga ang dapat mong gawin 'di ba? Kaya tinuturi ko nang "Job well done" kapag dumaan ang isang shift nang hindi ako nasasabon nang bongga. And then there are bad days. There was one Monday that totally sucked, perhaps the lowest point of my fledgling career. It was my worst workday ever: I committed a cocktail of spelling, grammar and factual errors at lumusot lahat sa ere. Like putangina, EPIC FAIL. Hindi ko alam ba't ako nagkaganun noon. Parang nagkahalo-halo yung fatigue (I did double shifts that Monday and on the Friday before that), yung pressure kong magmadali, o talagang naging careless ako ng sobra. Pero siyempre hindi excuse yun. "I'd rather have a conscientious writer than a careless one," so I was told. As in isipin ko lang yung Monday na yun, nade-depress na ko nang sobra. During the first two weeks, sobrang takot na takot akong magtanong, isang abominasyon para sa tulad kong baguhan. Dahil dun, ilang beses na akong nagkamali dulot na rin nang kawalan ng alam sa mga bagay na teknikal. In one of those days, the EP for Dateline was thisclose to her losing it. "Hindi ba tinuro yan sa inyo sa Journ?" tanong niya. "Ang taong tanong nang tanong, tanga. Pero ang taong hindi nagtatanong, nananatiling tanga." Muntik na akong maiyak nung narinig ko yung salitang "journ." Niyanig niya ang mundo ko sa pagkakatumbok niya ang kahinaan ko. Parang dun ko lang naisip na shit, dala ko ang pangalan ng UP at ng Departamento ng Peryodismo, keri? Nung college naman ako makulit naman akong magtanong, pero para akong tumiklop pagsabak ko sa trabaho. Ako man, nahiwagaan sa sarili ko. Ewan. Every day is a learning process. I keep a notebook where I jot down stuff I need to remember. Yung iba mental notes. Yung iba, sa phone. I try as much as possible not to commit the same mistakes again. I never take personally all the flak I draw because they're all constructive. Para sa ikabubuti ko naman lahat yun, para habang tumatagal baka matulad ako sa mga newsroom people I aspire to be. Rach vs. The Newsroom Heroes Bilang isa sa mga pinakabago sa ANC, lahat ng mga katrabaho ko ang taas na ng level. Sa kanilang lahat, meron tatlong taong tinitingala ko. Gusto kong maging katulad ng super mentor ko sa trabaho. Fresh grad siyang pumasok sa ANC, pero ten years after, news manager na siya rito. Mabait siya kung sa mabait, pero hindi siya maghuhunos diling magtaray pag kinakailangan. Pagkatapos ng litanya at pagsesermon, mabait na siya sa'yo ulit. Pero ewan ko na lang kung hindi ka pa matututo sa pagkakamali pagkatapos ka niyang mapagalitan. Gusto kong maging katulad ng seatmate ko sa cubicle, isa sa mga pinakamalupit na writers ng morning shift. Late lang siya lagi, pero kahit marami na siyang nakatenggang trabaho pagdating niya, kayang-kaya niya akong ungusan. Sa kanya pinagkakatiwala ng mga EP ang mga mabibigat na storya. Ganun siya kalupit. Gusto kong maging katulad ng isa pang writer sa morning shift. Magkasingtanda kami, pero hanggang dun lang ang pagkakapareho namin. Malupit siya sa multi-tasking: sa News@8, pinapagawa siya ng malalaking storya. Tapos magsusulat ng entertainment news para sa Mornings. Minsan isisingit pa niya ang maiksing phone interview sa isang future guest. Tapos magla-line up at magsusulat ng foreign stories para sa Dateline, kung saan siya rin ang taga-check ng chargen at headlines. At kung news judgement din lang ang pag-uusapan, mas bihasa siya kaysa sa akin. These three make me want to be better at my job. Sabi ko nga, pag umabot ako ng six months dito, sana masasabi ko man lang na mas magaling na ako kaysa nung unang beses  akong pumasok sa ANC. Yun bang marating ko man lang kahit katiting ng kung ano sila ngayon. Sa trabahong ito—well kahit saan naman ano—kailangan mo ng inspirasyon. At para sa akin, sila na yun. Rach vs. Work and Love Sabi nila, if you love what you do, you'll never have to work a day in your life. Sabi ko naman, true and false yang kasabihan na yan. This thing I'm doing is still work for me in a sense na araw-araw para akong nag-aaral at may natututunan akong bago. Na I'm constantly trying to be better than I was yesterday. Na kahit walang cable at tapos na ang shift eh puro na lang ako balita, balita, balita. Tsaka aminin naman nating highly stressful ang industriyang ito. Pero I agree kasi I love how kahit papaano nagagamit ko yung natutunan ko sa unibersidad. I love that I'm doing what I'm doing. I love that I love what I’m doing. Malabo, pero yun ang totoo. Madalas naiisip ko, kung napunta ako sa mga previous job offers na muntik ko nang patulan out of desperation, tapos ikukumpara ko sa kung nasaan ako ngayon, palagay ko hindi uubra ang alarm clock ko sa akin every 4:00 a.m. at magiging excited akong gumising bawat umaga. Let's just say I look forward to more mornings of chasing sunrises and writing news stories for ANC. #