#seattle 2020

[seriousbusinessforhumans]

As The Coronavirus Tore Through Seattle, These Sex Workers Built A Hand Sanitizer Factory

On the streets, hand sanitizer is as important as condoms. So two sex workers and a vape-juice entrepreneur hatched a plan to produce gallon

[anterocash]

Seattle, 2020 pt 3

When Cash asked Larry about his parents initially, he didn’t do anything. He glanced at the email and continued about his life, an ugly habit he’s must have passed onto the younger writer unknowingly. Larry did read the email, Cash’s request was simple enough, not knowing the history of his family post coma, it’s almost the holidays, the boy is curious. Larry read the email and looked into it, he doesn’t think he needs to tell Cash his every move, he never has. He has friends in lots of places so figuring out where Cash’s parents are located isn’t hard.

Larry likens himself to a professional friend maker, it’s apart of the job for him, networking, rubbing elbows with people in higher places of reach. Make a lot of friends who are willing to do things for you because you’re fun and loyal. A two-hour phone call and plans for drinks in the next coming weeks later and Larry has the last known legal address for a Connie Lee.

She picks up after two rings, “what?” Larry chuckles and shakes his head in an empty room, grabbing his drink, taking a sip.

“Question: do you want to see Cash?” a simple question that gets a simple answer.

“No.” Connie promptly ends the call and Larry laughs even louder, pouring himself another drink, checking the ice as he waits for her to pick up. “Why not?” he doesn’t know how long she will stay on the line so he asked as soon as she picked up to at least get the words out there before she’s gone again.

Connie probably has her reasons, Larry wants to know them, he’s nosy and what is he supposed to tell Cash? “His dad is still doing a bid, he didn’t take the deal, too loyal for his own good, idiot.” she sighs deeply, for all the shady and illegal things Jihoon has done in his life,  Connie would think he would do whatever it takes to stay out of prison (again) or at least reduce the sentence this time. No, not him. Connie thinks he’s tired of running, sees prison as a break from the life they’ve forged. Set routine, uniform, food. All Jihoon has to do is keep his head down and he can either die in there or get out and die comfortably. Connie can’t read his mind.

“He doesn’t remember us, Larry,” she adds in a mumble.

The idea of seeing the confusion in Minkyu -- Cash’s face when his mother has to introduce herself is something Connie doesn’t want to live out, she wishes she raised him differently already, maybe losing what little memories he has of her is for the best.

If she knew how wrong she was.

--

Cash pushes his fingers under his glasses, rubbing his eyes wearily. “He’s a good kid,” he mutters, picking his phone back up seconds later, closing it. “He just wants his dad.” Cash can relate. They’re both stuck with Larry for the closest thing to a father figure and he sucks at it. “And for a while, he thought I was the one who was in the way of him getting that but after a couple of weeks, some free food, he doesn’t glare at me anymore. Sits in the same seat, does his homework, doesn’t bother anyone.” after that night they never speak about, Cash extended an olive branch to Ryu Hwan, he’s not the enemy and maybe if he doesn’t get drunk and shove Cash, or toss beer cans at the writer’s head he can be the hyung Ryu Hwan was slurring about.

Is he the best older brother he could be? Given the circumstances, yes. Cash doesn’t owe that kid a damn thing; one of the more bigger differences between him and Larry. But he’s trying, more than he can say for the older man in front of him.

“He’s not mine, Cash.”

“Cut the shit, he looks just like you, Larry. Why are you so hell-bent on denying him?”

Larry sighs and takes a sip of his drink. “His mom… she hung around the base a lot, that’s where I met her, I had a friend in the service, they were also , the sex was amazing but when we had our clothes on she would grind my gears, hated how I traveled so much, wanted me to make Korea my forever home. No such place called that for me.”

He clicks his tongue as he looks at Cash; “when we would fight she would say he’s not mine, even if she was just saying it to win, the doubt was planted. You can say he looks like me, he can call me dad all he wants but in the back of my mind I’m thinking she blurted out the truth in the spur of the moment. If I squint he looks just like our friend. You wouldn’t get it. Once the doubt is there? It’s never leaving.”

He’s right and all Cash can do is shrug.

“Paternity test?”

Larry shakes his head with a snort, “it’s been how many years? At this point it doesn’t matter. But this isn’t about me and my problems, this is about you and your parents.”  

Cash had actually had enough talk about them, he was finally able to breathe, didn’t feel sick to his stomach anymore and here comes Larry, bringing up what Cash doesn’t want to talk about anymore.

“Your father is in prison, he was in prison before your accident, actually. I’m not sure if you knew that or not.”

Memory humor, cute. Larry likes to make stupid jokes like that when he’s feeling backed in, he’s vicious that way, plays on your insecurities to detract from his own. Maybe finding out that Cash bonded with his son when he couldn’t got under his skin. Cash being able to do something Larry could not? Astonishing.

“And well, I already told you your mother doesn’t want to see you. She wouldn’t say why.” Not a whole lie but not the entire truth, Larry isn’t going to chase after Cash again, not when he’s already in his hotel room if he leaves, he leaves.

Cash is silent for a beat, Adam’s apple bobbing with his swallow as he thinks, what is there really to say? He asked Larry to help him, he couldn’t. Should he take matters into his own hands? He’s not good at confrontation but he’s willing to do it. Cash knows how to use a laptop, he can find his parents himself, let them see what they’ve created for their own eyes.

He finally shrugs, his mind made up and stands up. He walks over to the bed, claps Larry on the shoulder. “Fine,” he says quietly, eyeing the older man’s glass. “You should really take it easy with that, you aren’t sixty anymore,” he tuts, “I didn’t come here alone so I have to go back so they don’t think I died or something.”

Larry squints at Cash in confusion, for once, he’s unable to read him and this should be a red flag but he doesn’t know how to call him out on it. All he can do is watch Cash’s retreating form as he walks to the door and leaves Larry sitting there just like how he started.

Alone.

[anterocash]

Seattle 2020 pt2

Years of smoking, years, decades of being alive if Larry is being honest is catching up to him as he runs after Cash, his lungs burning, yelling at him to stop but damn, Cash can run fast for a guy his size. 

Moments had passed as the words stayed in the air between them at the table as Larry waited for Cash to react and suddenly he vaulted over the fence next to them into the busy street and took off running. Only giving the older man seconds to toss a couple hundred dollar bills onto the table to take after the boy. 

Because that’s what little boys do when they hear something they don’t like he thinks smartly as he chases Cash down a busy sidewalk. Larry can only tolerate getting hit in the shoulder so many times from bumping into people, “stop—“ he barks, clutching his chest. “Dammit, Cash. I can’t breathe —“ 

— 

Cash stares from the doorway of Larry’s hotel room, he wasn’t going to go inside no matter how much Larry wanted him to, he got him back safely and alive he didn’t say he would stick around to make sure he stays that way. 

That’s harsh.

Larry doesn’t like this shoot the messenger shit at all, he winces as he takes a sip of his drink, the first thing he did when they got to his hotel room was open the mini bar he always makes sure to request when he’s staying at any hotel, if a hotel can’t serve you alcohol then you shouldn’t stay there. That’s his belief for the last sixty or so years and it will always be. “Sit down I don’t like it when you stand like that.” He coughs for good measure, using the frail old man card and accepts his victory as Cash takes his shoes off. “Make yourself a drink, we both need it for this conversation.” 

“You told me my mother visited me every single day I was asleep. Was that a lie?” 

Cash is two seconds from fainting from exhaustion, just because he’s fast doesn’t mean he’s good at it. Every inhale aches and he knows it will take him hours to get out of the bed tomorrow but he refuses to show any glimpse of that, the rapid swallowing the only thing he’s willing to give him away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he waits for an answer. Don't shoot the messenger but what if the messenger played a hand in the issues in play right now? Everything Cash knows so far he’s learned from going through a storage locker of boxes of stuff from his past but there is nothing consistent, everything else? He’s learned from Larry, has he been lying to Cash this entire time? 

As you get older the years seem to get shorter and shorter and then Cash died for minutes the nurse alleged and 2019 reminded Cash that a year can drag on for what feels like forever with no clear ending in sight for him to have one god damn break. But he could swallow it all because he had this old man who talked too fast and reeked of cigars and Giorgio Armani who was always there saying you’re gonna make it, kid. 

A part of Cash felt like he was obligated to let Larry take over his writing career, he was the first person since high school who thought he had some sort of talent. Everyone else said it was good but it was ‘missing something.’ Larry was the first person who ever said Cash had a gift. Was that a lie? Just to make Cash trust and follow him blindly since it benefited them both greatly. 

“That was not a lie.” Larry wouldn’t lie about that, white lies are okay, red are not. Has Larry ever lied to Cash? Of course he has, just like he knows Cash has lied to him they’re imperfect, it happens. Larry wouldn’t lie about this though. It was through seeing Cash’s mother every day at his bedside that he learned the truth he didn’t know he was going to end up being the one who tells him though, Larry was never prepared for this, never saw it coming and he takes another sip. 

“Your mother felt guilty, your accident was…” Larry trails off with a wince at the memory of the pictures of the damage left to the car, the chunks of wood gone from where the car ran into the street light, the blood on the steering wheel — Cash’s blood. He remembers Cash looking at his face in the mirror and promptly throwing up, Larry’s frantic calls for the nurse. He does not feel like talking about Cash’s past but he knows it’s the only way they can walk towards any future, Cash is stubborn. “Your parents aren’t good people, Cash.” 

“So the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, why don’t they want to see me? What guilt?”

“Cash, you aren’t a bad person…” 

“Larry, enough with the bull! Get to the point.” 

“Fine,” he snaps, draining his glass before settling it down with a thud on the nightstand. “Your parents are crooks. Both of ‘em, in and out of prison a couple times, you got shuffled around from friend’s homes, to the occasional cousin who had a sweet spot for kids, but once your parents stopped sending money? They would have to pass you on to the next babysitter during their ‘business trips’ with the promise of money sent monthly to keep you clothed and fed and educated. Your parents took a lot of money from a lot of people and when they got caught they fled but then the money ran out, they had no choice but to come back, she saw your accident on the news she said she dropped everything and went straight to the hospital after she found out where you were, fought tooth and nail with all the ‘aunts and uncles’ who never got their pay day for keeping you before they tossed you into boarding school, they said if she was going to be there? They wouldn’t.” 

Larry takes a second from his spiel to make a new drink, sitting at the table with Cash. “When the doctors said you would probably have extensive gaps in your memory, she couldn’t handle it, you looked at her like she was a stranger but she couldn’t come to terms that she basically was. Cash, why do you care so much? I was surprised when you asked me to find them, why? Am I not enough? Was I not there when you needed them the most?” 

Jaw taunt, Cash sits across from Larry silently, he can’t help but scoff, sniffling, the pads of this fingers pushing under his frames to push the tears out of his way, “you… let’s not act like I’m not your money pony until you meet the next Ray Bradbury, you are not my dad, you’re just a crook yourself who saw an opportunity and it worked in your favor.” Larry opens his mouth to retort, he wants to say Cash isn’t just money — not anymore at least, he’s so strong and he inspired Larry, truly, Cash hasn’t written in months either, not that it would really be the right thing to say right now nonetheless it’s the truth, he wants to say anything he can think to fix this but Cash stops him. “No, Larry. I don’t want to hear it.” 

He pulls his phone out and Larry thinks he’s getting a car to leave but then Cash is slamming his phone down on the table, screen bright with the picture of a young man sitting in front of a laptop at Bean Through at a table by the window, Larry’s stomach drops when he realizes who is in the photo. 

“You’ve had nineteen years to get it right, fuck you.”

[anterocash]

Seattle, 2020

“Happy Halloween!” Larry looks jovial, probably already started drinking and Cash sighs, rolling his neck around to get prepared for the onslaught of bullshit heading his way. 

Cash sits down in front of him and surveys the menu, “isn’t your girlfriend super religious? Are you allowed to celebrate such a holiday?” He teases never taking his eyes off of the menu. He’s not paying so he’s going to order the most expensive thing on the menu for Larry to pay for. Larry types away rapidly on his phone, the cigar next to him burning away. 

That’s why he always picks places with outdoor seating, fond of food trucks as well. He’s been smoking most of his life and he doubts he will stop any time soon. The ash retains its shape and its oddly satisfying to Cash despite how disgusting the scent is, he was nose blind to it at one point, felt like Larry was by his side every second he wasn’t in surgery or rehab, it doesn’t even feel like it really happened and something twists in Cash’s gut. 

“Are you going to wait until I’m stuffed to drop the bomb on me?” He says once the waiter is out of earshot, having given his order, “I don’t have a girlfriend,” Larry finally says putting his phone down only to replace it with his glass, taking a sip of his whiskey. “She wasn’t a girlfriend she was just a friend.” The pained look on his face freaks Cash out and he takes a sip of his own drink, “tell me so I can get my appetite back ... dad — “ 

“I found him,” Larry cuts in, finally ruining his ash formation to pick up his cigar, taking a hit he sighs. “Both of ‘em actually, kid. I found your parents.” 

This is good. Right? This is what Cash wanted, his recovery process was going in its own way and then it suddenly hit a brick wall and he’s felt weird ever since. Everyone has a family whether it’s biological or hand picked they exist, Cash loves his makeshift family and wouldn’t trade it for the world but that doesn’t mean he can’t yearn for his mother’s love. 

Sometimes it hits him out of nowhere, this urge to be held and told everything is going to be already — not even that. She held him for nine months, he just wants nine seconds if that’s not too much to ask for. He wants to remember more of his past and no one in his life can give him that but his mother and father. So why does Larry look like they’ve died or something? 

“No — no, Cash they aren’t dead.” Larry rushes to say, Cash must have said it out loud, the food comes out faster than he could have anticipated and the older man couldn’t be more grateful, digging into his salmon with gusto, it gives him some time to figure out how to tell Cash this. They aren’t the sappy type and he’s loved and equally hated how much he’s seen himself in the writer and Larry knows Cash deserves a better man for a father figure but that man is not his real father either, sadly.  “Eat,” he motions to Cash’s untouched plate after he swallows. 

“I’m not hungry.” Cash mutters and crosses his arms against his chest and he doesn’t look any bit of the oversized 26 year old he is. And he’s Larry’s petulant teenage son, he was essentially a baby all over when he found him in that hospital bed connected to tubes and wires, Larry never figured out what he felt while he stood in that doorway, Cash’s manuscript in his fist, he knew he got into a car accident but he wasn’t expecting this when he got to the hospital, lying to the receptionist to get access to his room. 

“Dammit, Cash —“ he sounds so paternal it startles them both and Cash has a scowl on his face as he eats and he looks very much the bigger man he’s become since laying frail in his hospital bed that fast. 

“Well?” Cash says impatiently, wiping his mouth, crumbling his napkin with his fist, would he hit Larry? No, never, Larry feels stupid for even considering it. He’s terrified of how this will change their relationship. 

“They don’t want to see you.” 

He lets the words hang in the air as he relights his cigar, the smoke hurting his lungs, the perfect salve for this conversation. 

He’s not going to speak until Cash says something.

[smithqjohns]

Seattle Day 4. Hotel Trash / Friends / Tukwila Family Fun Center

The hotel we stayed in didn’t clean/check our room the entire time, even though we were barely even in the room. Trash was full 7 times over. When we asked if they could bring clean towels for us they said sure and didn’t do it. When we asked again they brought us one towel, for three people. The hotel wasn’t full at all (they were doing construction on most of it, which made for quite a long walk to the car and also there is a pandemic of course, making it even more vacant) and yet the woman still seemed to be bothered from simply looking up from her phone once every two hours or so. At one point they sealed off all exits due to construction and so we had to walk about 200 yards around the building trying to find a door that would open. After checking about 10 different doors, we finally found a way in. (They were also apparently rude to my girlfriend, and she puts up with me and doesn’t usually get that upset, so they must be pretty rude.) My biggest question though is how do you live in a big city, especially when working at a hotel front desk and know absolutely nothing about the buses or how to get a bus pass?

Great place to stay at if you love walking, love danger (not having adequate amounts of safety exits), love watching construction, love collecting trash and love feeling really smart and competent.

About the only thing worth watching on cable there was the show Friends (guilty pleasure). Tons of great television over the last century and yet nothing else on syndication? Tons of channels and yet almost all garbage (didn’t know it was possible for cable to get any worse). TBS plays Friends all day and then at night Nickelodeon plays it. So no matter what time of day we turned it on, the show was on. Each station played the show in chronological order but one was playing earlier episodes and the other later ones. So it was a weird way to introduce the show to my kid, as she saw a few scattered episodes of each season and so now all the surprises are gone (nonetheless she approves).

We then went to the Tukwila Family Fun center and for three hours played putt-putt and rode the bumper boats and go carts. I could ride go carts forever to be honest. Two out of three times I came from behind, last place, for us to win at the last second. The last time we started off last, once again, but most of the cars purposely wouldn’t let us pass and we weren’t allowed to bump them (although we got bumped quite a few times). I call cheating. Seeing as how the car apparently won’t flip, the secret is to floor it and never hit the brakes, even on curves. There are cars on a separate track just for young kids, but you can walk on LEGO’s faster than those things move, so the kiddo wasn’t a fan of that one (it was the slowest car in the history of time). Bumper boats were fun, especially since you could shoot water (it was pretty hot out). The water shoots up so the secret is to get further away so it lands on target. If you are too close then do constant little squirts. That’s the only way to get ‘em. I didn’t attack other kids unless they attacked me, but when they did I soaked them (yes I took this seriously). Got lots of pointers for any of you that are interested. The Nine Year Old kept complaining about me shooting her, so I had to bribe her with money to have fun and let me do so.

We then went to pick up Sarah and it being hot we attempted picking up an Açaí bowl in the mail. There were surprisingly three places (heaven?), and they either weren’t serving that or were closed altogether. Everything else was open and available. The one thing I was really jonesing for in the whole mall (and that appeared to be everywhere) was not. THERE’S AN AÇAÍ SHORTAGE.

Then we got snacks, headed home and soon stopped and got more snacks for the road. The end.

[smithqjohns]

Day 3 Part 2

[smithqjohns]

Seattle Day 3. Space Needle

The Space Needle gift store is great for people looking for phallic souvenirs of all shapes, sizes, and hardnesses.

Also, it was an important day for me. When going up the needle (first time) got the germs zapped off of me by spinning around as invisible lasers shot me clean. Yes, LAZERS.

Saw a woman getting in trouble for not wearing her mask at the top of the Space Needle and she replied, “how are we supposed to take pictures of ourselves?”

Also, it was one of my fave moments of the year, drinking a beer with a great view, on a beautiful day, quite high up in the sky, and all while hanging with my great kid.

Spent way too much money on The Needle but felt even worse when my kid told me she preferred the 5 dollar (per person) monorail ride there that turned out to only take us a few blocks (that we could’ve easily walked). It was a cool monorail though.

[smithqjohns]

Seattle Day 2. Amazon Store / Build-a-Bear / Wally’s Clam Chowder

Malls have always been bizarre to the adult-me, but considering I rarely if ever go, I got to learn even newer ways that they are bizarre. (Pretty interesting Asian grocery store here, though. Was bummed I couldn’t try the Thai Tea Ice Cream. Had the Green Tea one before from the same brand, and it was great. Also, before we got started on our day I got the Nine Year Old a new mask. It was way too big but being a cheapskate I made her use it. She improvised with it and used it as a hair tie, thus putting her hair in a pony tail. She’s smarter than I am.)

A. Went in the new “Amazon 4 Star” store for the first time, which is a store of their best selling/trending/four star products and the first product I check out is 2 stars. Entering the store there were two greeters with a long monologue’s-worth of a greeting. And despite how small the space was there were 12 employees inside, more than the amount of the customers, so every corner you turned you had to let them greet you, question you and question you again, and maybe question you again after that, before another overly-fake-happy employee attacked you and re-greeted you (because they forget they already greeted you one minute prior). Was in there for 6 minutes and spent the whole time politely rejecting the nice gestures in some kind of miniature hell where I couldn’t escape until I left the entire premises. If you’re really lonely check this place out. Didn’t really have time to check out their products because I was being greeted too much.

B. The Nine Year Old had saved up a decent amount of dough and decided to spend it at Build-A-Bear. Employees there are required to talk to each customer the way a Disney intern (putting on a mini performance, on stage with exaggerated facial features) is required to speak to four year olds (miniature hell again for me). Seeing the bear get stuffed in the butt is interesting and borderline sexual (not complaining, just an observation). They really lengthen the process too, which my child went along with, very patiently, but wasn’t impressed by. She was required to stand in a square and couldn’t move from it. As the process lingered I conversed with her about products near by, in which the employee pointed out that leaving that spot was an absolute no-no. Making it the only store I’ve ever been where you’re not allowed to move. The employees are required to up-sell their countless accessories, which seem especially sleazy when targeted at a child spending their own money. If you’ve never been in a store of theirs I highly recommend it, it’s borderline cultish, and hard to leave without feeling sorry for the employees, but overall it’s an experience that can’t be missed. There a long unusual ritual after the bear is stuffed (stuffed by the way meaning they slam its posterior onto a large poll and cram the bear full of love, would not be surprised if a child left traumatized). The Bear then goes in the Hug Box and the child is allowed to leave their area and go hug the bear and then move back to the square. Then the bear gets a heart in it’s backhole/b-tthole. Before that there is more ritual and the child is asked to rub the heart on different parts of the bear’s body. The most interesting part being the rubbing of the heart on tummy/crotch, before sliding the ole heart in. You really don’t need to teach your kids the birds and the bees after a visit here (looking forward to finding a good parody video of this place).

C. Went to The Collection and when I went to pay they asked if I was a “pop star.” At first I thought all of that hard work making music was finally paying off, until I realized that that’s what they call members who get a discount.

D. Wally’s Clam Chowder - Got a burger, lobster, French soda and of course clam chowder. Pretty good, not bad, can’t complain. (Let the company pay for that one.)