Cioccolata had never been so sad in his entire pathetic life. He felt like he was back to not committing malpractice crimes and actually healing people. Breaking up with Secco had killed his poor shriveled soul and Cioccolata needed to drown his sorrows in cheese.
So the worst man in the world rolled into the local cheesecake factory, which like him, pretended to be way better than it really was. But like everyone can still tell the vibes are off even if the fried mac and cheese slaps. Cioccolata walked through the revolving doors and was slapped in the face by the most gorgeous man he had ever seen and then slapped for real by the revolving door as he stood there like the lovestruck idiot he was. Cioccolata was swept along in another revolution before he was actually able to get free and talk to this handsome man. His hair was the shade of pink of the pony Cioccolata never got for Christmas and the leopard print lice was so sexy Cioccolata wanted to die and that's not even getting started on how greasy this man was. Cioccolata hadn't felt like this since he met Secco before that giant hussy Jotaro stole his man. Thinking about his breakup made Cioccolata want to cry again. So he did, all over the stupid fucking beeping thing that tells you when your table is ready the beautiful greasefire of a man was handing him. The man looked so sick of his shit ten seconds in.
"Can you go cry in the bathroom like a normal person?" The man said.
"Thats the nicest thing anyones ever said to me," Cioccolata sobbed. It was true.
"I don't care." That was the second nicest thing.
Cioccolata looked at the gorgeous manlet's nametag. "Your name is Diavolo?"
"Goddamnit," Diavolo said.
Cioccolata's buzzer thing buzzed, making the two of them jump. Diavolo sighed and grabbed a menu and led Cioccolata to his table. As Cioccolata slid his fat ass into the booth he turned to Diavolo and asked, "Would you like to join me?"
Diavolo turned to walk away until Cioccolata said he would pay for everything. Then Diavolo slid his own flat cutting board ass into the booth. Who gave a shit if he was working or not he was gonna get some free burgers and cheesecake. Idk this is a drabble im not going through every fucking motion just know Cioccolata is eating so much fried mac and cheese and Diavolo is drinking as much alcohol as possible.
"Does this count as a date?" Cioccolata asked. "Its been a while since I've been on a date, i mostly just took Secco out for walkies."
Diavolo took another shot instead of answering. If he did answer he would say that he didn't go on dates and he was honestly kind of a voluntary incel.
"Oh, la mia piccola spora di muffa," Cioccolata said, ignoring that Diavolo grimaced at the pet name, "you have something on your cheek."
"What?" Diavolo asked, turning his head to face Cioccolata right as he leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met and they...ki..kissed 😳😳😳 Diavolo tasted like cigarettes and coffee which is sexy now I guess and Cioccolata tasted like cheddar cheese and expired milk. Diavolo was surprisingly into it. That's desperation does to you.
Then they lived happily ever after <3
