The house was dark when you stepped in. You reached out and flipped on the foyer light. After taking off your sweater, you felt eyes on you.
“What took you so long?”
You said, not bothering to turn. That action needed to wait a moment.
“I had other things to take care of. I knew where you were and that you were safe.”
You internally sighed hearing Sirius’ voice. It had been 13 long years since you had heard him speak. Now all of the girly feelings were swarming.
“Such as?”
You asked.
“Making sure that Harry and Matilda were okay. Trying to catch Pettigrew and commit the murder that I was imprisoned for...ya know...everything that you expected.”
Sirius was waiting for you to turn. He expected that you wouldn’t run to him and jump into his arms. That wouldn’t be you.
When you finally turned, you didn’t regret it. Your heart ached even more with grief looking at Sirius. He had lost some weight and looked older but god he was still handsome! You weren’t sure where he got the tight jeans and jumper but you were thankful for whoever they were.
“You saw Matilda?”
You questioned. Sirius nodded and ran a hand through his messy hair.
“She’s the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen...except you of course.”
You smirked.
“And you still have a way with words.”
Sirius didn’t like the way that you were watching him warily. The look in your eyes hurt his heart. You were afraid of him. That was something that he never wanted.
“Just so you know, she wasn’t looking for me. She was actually minding her own business.”
You chuckled.
“That’s shocking for Matilda. She’s truly your daughter. Sometimes I think that is James and yourself running around here pulling the pranks that she and Harry pull.”
Sirius’ face took on a pained expression.
“I miss him. Y/n, I have to talk to you. Those things...that I supposedly did...it wasn’t me. It was Peter Pettigrew who has apparently been living as Ron Weasley’s rat for the past 13 years. I hope you’ll believe me one day.”
Sirius had walked to you. He reached out and kissed your hand. Sirius smiled seeing your engagement ring still on your finger.
“I do believe you. I only wished that you would have stayed home with me that day. Matilda and I have suffered greatly without you. There is no point in yelling at you about it. You’ve suffered enough. We both have. All of our friends abandoned me. The only person that I had was Remus and your mother.”
Sirius’ mouth dropped. He had a feeling that the two of you hadn’t had an easy go because of him but he never expected all your friends to just up and walk away. The news that his mother had something to do with you was even more concerning.
“My...mother?”
Sirius choked out. You nodded,
“She and Regulus both apparently took pity on me. Walburga was proud of what you supposedly did. She was the only one there when Matilda was born.”
Sirius’ happy expression had turned to horror. His crazy-ass mum was there when Matilda made her grand appearance and apparently got her claws into the little girl after all. It was everything that Sirius never wanted.
You, meanwhile, thought back to the day Matilda was born with a frown. It was a happy day but it also wasn’t at the same time. This was the darkest period of your life and you would never be able to forget it.
You had been staying with Walburga for some time. Orion had died the year before. You accredited that to Walburga’s reason in wanting to help you. That and the fact this baby would be the next heir to the Black family name. You hated living in Grimmauld Place, however, the dark and depressive mood of the house fit your current mindset.
“Still not getting any bigger are you?”
You looked up as Walburga stepped into the room with a little sandwich on a china plate. This was your fourth sandwich of the day. You weren’t sure what Walburga was thinking but fattening you up wasn’t going to make you feel any better. Eating itself made you feel worse!
You were right at 8 months pregnant and was probably the size of someone 6 months. Walburga had been making it her personal mission to shove food in your face whenever she could. If it wasn’t Walburga it was Kreacher chasing you around with a cup of tea.
“I don’t think so. I’m not really hungry.”
Walburga put the sandwich down in front of you.
“You haven’t eaten in two hours. The baby needs to eat.”
You internally muttered that the baby was sick of sandwiches all hours. Walburga sat down with a smile.
“Y/n, darling, I am sorry to say this but starving yourself will not bring Sirius back to your side. My son made a wonderful decision and you should be proud of him.”
You felt like vomiting right on Walburga’s insanely expensive rug. How could you be proud of Sirius? You were furious with him but also wanted him more than ever.
Like a good little robot, you took a few tentative bites of the sandwich to appease your mother-in-law.
“That’s a good girl.”
She said in a forced loving voice. After a few bites, you felt a pain shoot through you.
“Oh my!”
You whimpered. Walburga jumped up. Her dark eyes were wide.
“It's too early! It can’t be time! Kreacher! Get the doctor here!”
Whether Walburga liked it or not, Matilda had made up her mind that today was the day! The baby sure took her sweet and precious time too. You spent the next 14 hours in the most excruciating pain known to man! The stupid doctor wouldn’t give you any drugs to help with the pain. You suspected Walburga was behind that.
When Matilda was finally born, you sat propped up on a few pillows looking at the most darling baby in the world. Walburga was busy wandering around the room telling off Kreacher and any other poor being that got in her way. She finally calmed down enough to hold her granddaughter. Walburga looked down at her with a proud smile.
“She’s perfect...a little small but she will be fine. Now we just have to raise her right.”
You shook yourself from the memory that apparently you transferred to the poor man in front of you. Sirius had his hands over his face and was trembling.
“Please tell me that my mother didn’t get her claws into her.”
You shook your head.
“No, not long after Matilda was born Regulus died and Walburga went around the twist. She’s been dead for a while now. However, if you want to talk to her, she kindly put a permanent sticking charm on her portrait at her house.”
Sirius shook his head.
“No one needs to see that. Y/n, I can’t apologize enough! I’m sure you’ve moved on...but I…”
You held a hand up.
“Nope. I have gone on a few dates but nothing came of it. They weren’t you.”
Sirius wrapped his hands around your waist. He leaned down kissing you softly.
“I’m right here, love. I’m not asking you to jump in bed with me but I wouldn’t fight you off if you wanted to.”
You didn’t move your mouth too far from him.
“We’ve both probably changed in the past 13 years.”
Sirius nodded.
“We certainly have. Doesn't mean that we can’t make it work though. I want to be a part of yours and Matilda’s lives...even though I kind of have to lay low until that damned rat is caught again.”
You knew that it was probably stupid to just throw yourself back into Sirius’ arms full force but you didn’t care. Hearing him say that he didn’t do it and that it was Peter Pettigrew (as a letter from Remus said the day before) was enough. You knew that you may end up regretting going full steam ahead but neither Sirius nor yourself were good at controlling ourselves around each other.
This may be a good lesson for Matilda.
“Come with me.”
You whispered before turning and walking toward the bathroom. Sirius didn’t have to be told twice. He knew what you wanted. Pulling the jumper over his head, Sirius waited for you to get the shower going. You glanced over your shoulder with an innocent expression that his already forming erection began to throb. It was “that look” that you could always get him going.
“Still like shower sex, huh?”
You smiled and started undoing the buttons of your dress.
“That hasn’t changed. We’ll be all wet and slippery. I haven’t had sex in 13 years so extra wetness doesn’t hurt.”
You had to fight the urge to giggle at the expression on Sirius’ face.
“Hurry up and get that damned dress off, woman.”
15 minutes later, you stood wrapped in Sirius’ arms as the hot water soaked your joined bodies. Your eyes were closed in ecstasy as he rocked into you. Both of you had both come moments before but the delicious feeling of your bodies together again was enough to keep both of you going.
“You’re not going to change your mind tomorrow, are you?”
Sirius asked as his right hand continued to squeeze your breasts greedily. You shook your head.
“I don’t want you to go….ever. Matilda, Harry, and I need you too.”
It wasn’t a lie. You needed Sirius more than he knew. There was no way that you could go back to the single life after making love to him again. You would be inconsolable without him again.
Your only hope now was that the two of you could navigate the very new parameters of your relationship
Remus Lupin was mad! He was seeing red mad. After Sirius had stormed out of the house the night before and Remus learned of the breakup; he was ready to fight. Remus completed his role as “big brother” and held you as you sobbed in his arms. It took all that he had not to throw his wolfsbane potion against the wall and wait for Sirius to come home (he would be embarrassed by these feelings later but now he didn’t care).
After he got you calmed down enough, Remus sent you home with Tonks. The two would make sure that you would be okay. Both knew that you would need them in the coming days.
The next morning Remus and Tonks returned to Grimmauld Place. Sirius lay on the couch passed out drunk. Remus gave his girlfriend a nod before going into the kitchen and coming back with a large metal pot and a wooden spoon. Tonks smirked as Remus put the pot down by Sirius' head and started banging loudly.
It took Sirius all of three seconds to jump off of the couch. The man looked petrified as he tried to get his pounding heart and head in order.
“Remus, what the hell? Oh, merlin, I feel horrible.”
Remus crossed his arms over his chest.
“Well, you should! Think about how my poor sister feels. What the hell are you thinking? She’s pregnant with your baby and you leave her? This isn’t the Sirius Black that I know. You would never do Y/n like this.”
Sirius sat down and put his hand over his forehead. He was trying to ease the pounding in his head. Sirius wanted to tell Remus that he regretted everything because it was true. After drinking a large amount of booze, Sirius was regretting the last conversation that he had had with you.
“Remus, I fucked up. I know.”
‘You fucked up?”
Tonks questioned. The best friend in her was ready to attack.
“You did more than fuck up! You have crushed her. Y/n hasn’t stopped crying all night. Are her feelings a game to you? Sirius, you aren’t 16 fucking years old anymore. I have to ask. Are you on drugs?”
Sirius looked up over his hand. His eyes were bloodshot and exhausted.
“No, but it would make a lot more sense if I was. I think cocaine sounds fun.”
Tonks fought the urge to start wailing on her cousin.
“Y/n is worried about you. She can’t stop crying. I hope you are proud of yourself.”
Tonks and Remus’ words were finally starting to click in Sirius’ hungover mind. The logical side of his mind (the side that was still himself) was in high gear panic.
“She’s crying over me?”
Out of nowhere, Remus reached out and smacked Sirius with a book that Kreacher had kindly provided. Sirius glared at Kreacher but realized why the elf was joining in on his torture. You were kind to the elf. Sirius hated that you treated the ugly little jerk like a fun new pet.
“What the hell do you think?”
Remus snapped.
“She’s devastated without you. She has lost you twice and neither time she’s had a choice in the matter”
Remus added, angrily sitting down in a huff. The werewolf in him was beginning to take over and he was ready to rip his friend apart in your honor. Remus didn’t get it. Why did Sirius enjoy hurting you so badly? Was it some kind of fucked up game?
“Look, before the two of you straight-up murder me, listen to what I have to say. I broke things off with her for her own good. Don’t you two realize how people are going to talk about her. It doesn’t matter if I am innocent or not. She isn’t going to be the murder’s wife and baby mama forever. Do you really want that for her? I want her to have a chance to have a normal relationship with a guy that I could have been.”
Remus sighed.
“She is already known as the murder’s wife and baby mama. Whether you want to admit it or not, Sirius, Y/n had been living under that stigma for a very long time and she is used to it. She doesn’t care. Y/n wants you. She loves you. Why can you not get it through that thick skull of yours?”
Sirius looked down at his feet. He hasn’t thought about it that way.
“I regret my decision. I want nothing more than to curl up with my head on her lap and beg for forgiveness.”
Tonks faked a gag.
“Well, then you better start figuring something out.”
Over the next few weeks, to Sirius’ devastation, you wanted nothing to do with him. You wouldn’t take his calls, letter, visits, nothing. It didn’t matter how much he pleased with you. Any kind of communication came through Tonks or Remus.
“How can I apologize if she won’t see me?”
Sirius snapped at Remus one night when Sirius dropped by. Remus stood with an alien-like expression on his face as he listened to Sirius rant.
“I’ve tried talking to her. Maybe when she said she’s had enough...Y/n has had enough too. It looks like the two of you are going to parent this child separately.”
Finally, after another month and half of being ignored by both Harry and yourself, Sirius got a letter from you one morning...
“I want to see you. We need to talk about the baby. Come by at 6:00”
Sirius was at Remus’ house at 5:45. You sat in the living room when he stepped in. To say that you were dreading this meeting was an understatement. The girl in you was dying to see Sirius. You wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms and tell him that you still loved him more than the waking world. The logical side of your mind was trying to say, he is going through a lot. We lost our daughter. This is where all of this is coming from. Your heart, however, was broken over Sirius’ desertion.
The moment that your eyes met his, your heart broke all over again. You poor darling looked exhausted.
“How are you?”
Sirius asked, softly. He noted how pale you looked. You looked as pale as Remus did a good 95% of the time.
Still beautiful though….
His mind supplied. You were still the most beautiful woman that Sirius had ever laid eyes on. He wanted nothing more than to apologize and beg you to come home to him.
“I’m okay. You?”
Sirius shrugged as he took his leather jacket off and sat down beside you. His eyes were on your tummy. You had gotten bigger since he had seen you. He could only hope that this could be a sign that his child was still okay.
“I’ve been better. Is the baby okay?”
You nodded, noting that he still had his wedding ring on.
“Yeah, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I went to the doctor yesterday and everything is looking fine. I’m a bit further than we thought. I must have gotten pregnant right when you got out of prison.”
You were relieved when Sirius smiled.
“Looks like we are in for it again.”
You smiled as you began to feel ill again. What you hadn’t told Sirius as the doctor was concerned about your constant illness.
Sirius had picked up your sudden mood change.
“What’s going on?”
He questioned, reaching for your hand. His eyes locked on your wedding band and engagement ring. Was this a sign that there was still hope?
“I just haven’t felt well.”
You replied, trying to wave it off. Sirius, meanwhile, didn’t buy it.
“Should we call your doctor?”
You shook your head.
“The doctor knows.”
Sirius put a hand over his face and leaned back. You were closing him out.
“Can I do anything? I don’t care what it is. “
Sirius hoped that his being kind would get him some points. Maybe if you saw that he still cared, you would accept whatever he could do.
“That’s sweet but I’ll be fine.”
“Look, I have a job coming up. I’ll be gone for a few weeks. Should I cancel it?”
You shook your head and stood up. At the moment, you needed to look away from Sirius’ heartbroken face. You needed to remember the hell that he had put you through.
“ No. I’m not your responsibility anymore.”
Sirius was on his feet and behind you. His hand slowly wrapped around yours.
“Please don’t say it like that. I still love…”
You held a hand up.
“You made your choice. Please. Just go enjoy your life. You haven’t had a fair chance at doing that.”
Sirius slowly turned you in his arms. His heart broke seeing the tears in your eyes. Tears because of him...again
“I made a mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking. Y/n, I’m not me without you.”
He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. The two of you stood kissing for a few moments. Sirius placed a hand on the side of your cheek to deepen the kiss but you pulled away.
“Stop being mean. Just go.”
You didn’t give Sirius a chance to reply before turning and quickly walking into another room.
(3 weeks later)
Sirius sat in a bar keeping his eyes on one of the death eater targets that he had been watching for the past three weeks. He hadn’t heard from you since the incident at Remus’ house. The memories of the last kiss was the only thing keeping Sirius going. At least you kissed him back. That was nice.
His phone ringing pulled Sirius from his thoughts. Glancing down, he sighed seeing Remus’ name and stood to go outside.
“You called?”
He asked cheekily, hoping to make his friend laugh. Instead, Remus sounded almost panicked.
“You need to come home.”
“What? Why?”
Sirius questioned. Remus quickly cut Sirius off from saying anything else.
“Y/n had the baby.”
Sirius almost dropped the phone as he did mental math real quick to affirm that it was too soon.
“What?!”
He yelled. Remus took a deep breath needing to calm himself down in order to talk to Sirius.
“She passed out this morning. I came down for breakfast and she was sitting at the piano. I asked her what was wrong and she said she felt so strange then passed out. When we got to the hospital, the doctor couldn't do anything to stop the labor.”
Sirius was about to panic!
“What the hell happened? Is she okay? The baby? Talk to me Remus because I am about to take out a lot of people in this bar to get outside.”
“The baby is fine. The doctor has her in intensive care. Y/n...she hasn’t woken back up. The doctors are doing everything and I don’t know what is going to happen but you need to be here in case…”
Sirius rubbed a hand over his face.
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Remus had barely hung up the phone when Sirius came running around the corner. Sirius looked close to losing whatever sense of self that he had left.
“I need to see her!”
Remus reached out and put his hands on Sirius’ shoulders.
“The doctor is in there right now. It may be a bit.”
“Fuck that!”
Sirius snapped. Remus tightened his hold on Sirius’ shoulders.
“I want you to listen to me, Sirius. I need you to calm down.”
Sirius shook his head. There was no calming down. He wasn’t going to calm down until he knew that the love of his life was going to make it. Sirius wouldn’t be able to make it without you. He might as well throw himself out of the hospital window.
Remus took another breath.
“Your daughter needs you. Whatever crazy is going through your head...you need to put it on hold and think about your child. Come on, you can at least see her until Y/n is free.”
Sirius was shaking as Remus tried to push him down the hallway. How did Remus expect him to keep a grasp on reality at the moment? How in the actual hell was that going to happen? Sirius had lost Matilda and now he could lose you…
Stepping into the nursery, Sirius had to practically be pushed by Remus until Tonks came into his view. She sat a few feet away holding a small little bundle.
Tonks immediately smiled seeing her cousin. The expression of crazy on his face made her freeze for a moment before she mentioned him over.
“She’s just fine. A little on the small side but the doctor thinks after a few weeks she will be fine. Now hold your arms out.”
Sirius’ eyes widened as he stared at Tonks like she was insane. All of the horrible information that Sirius had received in such a short amount of time was making his PTSD go crazy. Tonks softened her tone.
“Now don’t be scared of a little girl. She’s darling.”
Tonks placed the baby in the crook of Sirius’ arm as he looked down slowly. The baby was tiny! Tiny was a bit of an understatement. Sirius felt somewhat better the moment that the baby yawned and snuggled closer to him.
“Look at that, already knows her daddy.”
Tonks said with a smile. Sirius tightened the blanket around the little girl automatically fearing that the air was too much.
“Are they sure that she is okay?”
He asked, nervously. Tonks nodded.
“We just need to keep her extra warm.”
“She needs her mother.”
Sirius said, sadly. Tonks' happy expression faded as she laid her head on Sirius’ shoulder.
“Her mother will be with her when she can. Have the two of you thought of a name?”
Sirius nodded.
“Aurora.”
Tonks turned her attention to the nurse who was writing the name down. She didn’t have to look at the nurse any closer to know the women clearly recognized Sirius. Her wary expression told Tonks everything that she needed to know.
“He’s the father.”
Tonks explained as the nurse nodded and stepped out of the room. Turning back to Sirius, Tonks motioned to the empty chair.
“Sit down and unbutton your shirt a bit. You’ll be able to keep her plenty warm.”
For the next hour, Tonks and Remus sat quietly watching Sirius hold his new daughter with an expression of awe and panic on his face.
Remus leaned over with a smirk.
“If that baby cries, she will scare him to death.”
Tonks grinned.
“I never thought that I would see big bad Sirius Black scared of a baby girl.”
Remus glanced down at his watch before turning to Sirius.
“We should be able to see Y/n now. Tonks will stay with Aurora.”
Sirius didn’t want to give up the baby but at the same time, he needed to get to you. Standing, he slowly put Aurora back into Tonks waiting arms. The little girl shot him a small sneer due to being moved from the warm spot that she was in.
“It will be okay.”
Tonks said, soothingly as Sirius turned and followed Remus back down the maternity ward.
The doctor was stepping out of the room as Remus and Sirius walked up. Remus decided that he would be the one to do the talking. Sirius definitely wasn’t in any condition to say anything that made sense.
“How is my sister?”
The older woman nodded politely.
“Her conditions are improving. Why she is not waking up, I don’t know. Right now, I am afraid it is just a waiting game. You’re welcome to go in now”
Remus waited until the doctor walked away before turning to Sirius.
“You should go in.”
Sirius didn’t wait for Remus to say another word before storming in. His heart sank the moment that he looked at you. You looked so tiny in the hospital bed. The sight of you hooked up to a bunch of machines was almost more than Sirius could handle.
He quickly knelt down beside you and took your hand in his. Your skin was so cold...so cold and so pale. Sirius pressed his lips to your hand before moving to your wrist.
“Come on, sweetheart. You can’t bail out on me now.”
Sirius stood up enough to press a soft kiss to your icy lips. This had to be the most painful kiss that he had ever had. Your lips weren’t soft and warm like usual. Sirius didn’t want to think about how it felt like he was kissing a corpse.
I can’t think like this!
He snapped in his mind before sinking back to his knees beside you. If he had to sit like this for the rest of forever he would.
After Remus and Tonks ushered Matilda and Harry out of the bar, Sirius went in search of the bottle of fire whiskey that Greyback had been holding. You, meanwhile, were still staring at the place that Matilda had been standing in. What was she honestly thinking about by going after that massive werewolf? If something happened to your daughter, you would never forgive yourself.
“Those two are going to be the death of us.”
Sirius’ voice pulled you from your thoughts. You turned in his direction as he downed a shot of whiskey.
You’re going to be the death of me too.
You thought.
“Yeah, they really have it in for us. Where did you go with Remus?”
Sirius’ eyes rolled up to meet yours. He knew that this was going to be an unpleasant conversation. You were not going to like his answer.
“I found out where Peter is hanging out. Malfoy Manor on Thursdays.”
“How did you find out?”
You asked, softly. Sirius winced.
“Before you go getting mad at me, know that I did it to find out the information…”
You held a hand up.
“Sirius, I don’t like conversations that start this way...especially from you.”
“I got the information from Sarah Meadowes.”
Sirius winced when the expression on your face darkened.
“Did she touch you?”
You knew all about what Sarah was up to now. Her career choice would make Dorcas roll over in her grave. Dorcas would die of shame knowing that her little sister was an exotic dancer.
“A little bit...it didn’t mean anything.”
Sirius’ nonchalant answer was 10 times more painful than if he had admitted it and begged for forgiveness. He stood behind the bar looking like it was no big deal. So what if he went to a strip club for some bitch, who wasn’t his lover, to rub all over him? It was no big deal and apparently, you shouldn’t be bothered by it...what a dream!
“It didn’t mean anything.”
Sirius shook his head.
“No. I didn’t get hard or anything. Now if it was you dressed like that rubbing all over me...you wouldn’t be able to walk straight.”
Your mouth dropped. What was he actually thinking? How did he even remotely think that you were going to be okay with this? Sure, he got info on Peter but at what cost?
“So why didn’t Remus go talk to her?”
You asked, trying to keep a grip on your temper. Sirius shrugged, still seeming clueless.
“Said something about Tonks getting mad at him...I wasn’t really listening.”
“Maybe you should worry about what your own girlfriend would have to say?”
Sirius’ head snapped up at that. Fuck, he knew that look. You were mad. Mad was probably putting things lightly.
“You’re my fiance not girlfriend. Big difference. I thought you trusted me.”
You shook your head before turning and storming toward the door.
“Fuck you.”
Before Sirius could get to you, you apperated from the room leaving him alone to piece together his wrongdoings.
Arriving back at Grimmauld Place, Sirius was trying to put together what his apology would consist of. Maybe he could make a case about how now you knew how he felt finding out that you were an auror or what would you do for information. Both didn’t sound too great and he decided to stay away from both of them.
The bedroom door was locked when Sirius tried to walk in. Matilda sat in the hallway hidden halfway by shadows.
“Mum doesn’t want to talk to you.”
Matilda said quietly. Sirius looked down at his daughter who looked grim.
“Yeah? Well, she is going to have to talk to me sometime.”
Matilda only scowled at him. She didn’t reply as she went back to the book that she was reading. The last thing that she wanted to admit was the fact that she heard what her parent’s latest argument was about. She wanted to tell her father that although his intentions were good; his handling of “getting information” was straight stupid.
“I see that you are mad at me too?”
Sirius questioned. Matilda only nodded.
“That was dumb...what you did.”
“How do you know?”
Sirius snapped, feeling suddenly annoyed. Had you gone and told the girl what happened?
“I could hear mummy crying to Uncle Remus. The two of you should know that you are both very loud and your voices carry.”
The expression on Matilda’s face reminded him eerily of the expression that Regulus would have whenever their own parents argued. Matilda was off in her own world and wanted nothing to do with anyone else.
“Tilley…”
Matilda stood up. She lightly knocked on the bedroom door to be let in.
“I don’t want to hear it. Things aren’t supposed to be this way. You are supposed to make mummy happy not make her cry. If all the two of you are going to do is argue then maybe you shouldn’t be together.”
She gave Sirius a final scowl as the door opened enough for her to slip in. The door closing left Sirius standing completely baffled.
Running a hand over his face, he felt worse than ever. Matilda shouldn’t be worrying about her parent’s problems and here she was doing it.
“That didn’t sound too good”
Sirius frowned in Remus’ direction. He wasn’t aware that his friend had heard the whole conversation.
“Yeah, I just got my ass handed to me by my 13-year-old.”
Remus rolled his eyes.
“I never told you to let Sarah give you a lapdance. I figured that the two of you would only talk.”
Sirius had enough of everyone in the house by this point.
“Lesson number 1, Remus, strippers don’t give you jack fucking shit for free.”
Sirius turned and stormed down the stairs without another word
An hour later, Matilda walked downstairs. She stopped the moment that she saw Sirius staring at the Black family tapestry with an expression of disgust on his face. After their argument a bit before, she was feeling a bit guilty.
Matilda didn’t have to look at the tapestry to know what Sirius was looking at...his blown off name. Walburga had at least added your name beside Sirius’ and below that put Matilda’s name.
“I think grandmama had a few screws loose.”
Matilda said, softly. Sirius didn’t move his eyes from the tapestry as Matilda’s arms wrapped around his waist. He absentmindedly stroked her hair with his free hand.
“That she did.”
Sirius replied. He had been trying to piece together what you did to gain enough favor in Walburga’s eyes to be added to the family tree. His best guess was having Matilda. He was thankful at the moment that Walburga had died. If the old bat was still alive to see her granddaughter sorted into Gryffindor; she would have probably blasted Matilda off of the tapestry for being too much like her father.
“Dad, I’m sorry about what I said.”
Sirius turned his attention back to his daughter.
“It's fine, Tilley. You come by that temper honestly. I need to talk to your mum.”
“Well, it's your lucky day because she wants to see you.”
Matilda said with a smirk before adding.
“Just don’t say anything dumb. She has calmed down.”
Matilda tried not to laugh at the surprised expression on Sirius’ face. She got the idea that he was still not used to a little girl that was brutally honest.
“I’ll keep that in mind, sugar.”
He said. Sirius was, in fact still, trying to get used to Matilda’s brutally honest personality. She was definitely the person to ask if you were curious whether or not an outfit made you look fat or not.
Sirius didn’t waste any time going back upstairs. The fact that you wanted to talk to him was enough to make Sirius rush to you.
“Close the door.”
You said as he stepped in. Sirius did as he was told before turning to face you. You sat dressed in a silk robe looking at him with that annoyed expression he knew so well. Sirius quickly put a silencing charm on the room. The last thing that he wanted was for Matilda and her eagle-like hearing to pick any of this up.
“Y/n, love, I promise nothing happened between Sarah and myself. You the only woman that I…”
You held up a hand silencing him with an icy expression.
“Sit down.”
Sirius quickly did as he was told and sat down in the vacant seat across from you. He had a feeling that you weren’t as quiet over his transgressions as once hoped.
“Do you want some whore to give you a lap dance?”
You asked, standing up. Sirius’ eyes widened as you undid the knot of the robe and let it fall. You stood dressed in only a black lace bustier that pushed your breasts higher. The expression on Sirius’ face was enough to let you know that you had him exactly where you wanted. He was putty in your capable little hands.
Sirius swallowed as his eyes fell down your body. The bustier was connected to thigh high stockings and a matching lace thong.
“Love…”
“Quiet.”
You said, sharply. Sirius gave you a shit-eating smirk. The outfit alone was enough to make Sirius do whatever you wanted.
“Come here.”
You shook your head. Sirius wasn’t in charge like normal. You were. You would be the one calling the shots and he was going to sit there like a good boy.
“I’m telling you what to do and I said to sit there and shut up. Be a good boy for once.”
You smirked as Sirius shut his mouth and looked at you as if pleading for one simple touch. His grey eyes had darkened as you plopped down on his lap. You gently pressed your breasts together as you reached out to unbutton the dress shirt that he was wearing halfway. His hands were squeezing the chair so hard his knuckles were turning white.
Sirius slowly reached up; desperate to touch you. If he could get just one touch in he knew that he could have you. Those blasted stockings were making him ache. Fuck, everything about the outfit was making him ache! Had he forgotten just how much he was a sucker for you in lingerie?
You quickly slapped his hands away. The surprised and offended expression on Sirius’ face was too amusing.
“I said no touching. Fuck up again and I’ll handcuff your hands behind your back and there won’t be any touching. You can sit there and watch me touch myself.”
Sirius was surprised by the comment. He had never heard those types of words leave your pretty little mouth...he liked it.
You stroked your finger down the center of his chest until you reached the point where his shirt was still tucked into his pants.
“Fuck, baby.”
Sirius groaned. You let the comment slip as you stood enough to spread his legs a bit. Straddling his right leg, you rocked your lower body against Sirius’s thigh.
Fucking damn, she ridding my thigh.
Sirius thought, trying to keep control of his own emotions. It was taking everything that he had not to pin you to the bed and have his way with you. Did you realize how much of a tease this was? He was beginning to become that needy mess that he used to be before the two of you became a couple.
You took Sirius’ hand and placed it on your lace-covered breast. His hand wrapped around the plump flesh basking in any chance he had to touch you.
“You’re killing me, love.”
Sirius said hoarsely. You gave him an innocent smile before reaching down and stroking his very prominent erection. Sirius bucked his hips into your hand.
“I see. You’ll be just fine though.”
You cooed, pressing tender kisses to his jawline. Sitting back up, you ran your fingers through his hair. Sirius groaned. Now you were really fucking with him. This little peep show was turning into one of the hottest things the two of you had done in a long time!
Grabbing a handful of Sirius’ hair, you yanked his head back for a rough kiss. He groaned against your lips enjoying the manhandling.
“I miss your long hair.”
“Come on princess, fuck me.”
He moaned against your mouth. You gave him a smile shaking your head. Instead, you slipped your breasts out of the bustier. Sirius’ eyes widened as he bit his bottom lip harder. If he could just get his mouth on you...
“Suck.”
You said in that authoritative tone that made his cock ache with need. Sirius didn’t have to be told twice to open his mouth and wrap his lips around your breast. His eyes closed as he took his time alternating between kissing, sucking, and nipping at your tender flesh.
“That feels so good.”
You sighed, relaxing that you were rocking your body against his again. Sirius smirked against your skin as his eyes fluttered open.
“Why don’t you get my cock out of my pants and make yourself feel even better?”
He suggested with a playful smirk.
“Soon.”
You said, patting his cheek. That wasn’t enough for Sirius. He needed something more physical than being allowed to play with your tits. You were letting him do that after a few weeks of dating. Sirius needed something more. Breast play was PG-13 to him. Sirius was ready for something with a XXX rating.
“Are you wet, baby?”
He asked, kissing your breast one more time.
“What do you think?”
You asked, coyly. Sirius leaned back in the chair taking on his cocky “Black” family scowl. You couldn’t help but think how sexy Sirius looked sitting there with his shirt unbuttoned with his hands at his side. His eyes were watching every move that you made with a hungry desperate expression.
“I think you should take those knickers off and let me have some time with your twat before I fuck you senseless.”
The exchange of power slowly began to shift as you obediently got off of Sirius’ lap and removed the lace thong. Sirius smiled, knowing that he was winning.
“Come here, baby. Let me taste you.”
You slowly stood up on the armchair that Sirius was sitting in. Sirius wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you down on his face.
“Oh, Merlin”
You muttered as Sirius’ tongue licked over your clit. He lapped at you hungrily. Between drooling over your clit and fingering you painfully slow, Sirius worked on giving numerous love bites to your thighs.
“Sirius…”
You needed something to hold onto but there was nothing to grasp.
“That’s it, love. Say my name.”
He said with a devious smile and pressed his mouth back into your body. You remained in this position a moment longer before pulling away.
“I wasn’t done.”
Sirius said, coldly. The stubborn expression on his face reminded you of a four-year-old who had their blankie in the wash.
“You’ll like this.”
You said as he reached up and wiped your juices from his chin.
“I better. This whole thing has been a fucking tease. You’re lucky that I haven’t come in my pants.”
You gave him a grin as you reached down and unbuttoned his pants. Sirius quickly stood enough to push his pants down and move his dress shirt out of this way.
“There. I want what’s mine.”
He said. You did as asked and lowered yourself onto his throbbing erection. The two of you moaned at the wet heated pressure flowing through both of your bodies.
“Don’t move.”
You said. Sirius’ eyes snapped open. The poor man looked outraged. Just what were you expecting from him?
“I am fucking inside you and you don’t want me to move?”
You nodded, pulling him into another kiss. Sirius was annoyed but the kiss was enough to win him over. He tried to be good (he really did) but the pressure got the better of him.
Sirius wrapped his arms around you and carried you to the bed.
“Fucking take it. You’ve got me all hot and bothered. Time to get your prize. “
He put one leg over his shoulder while the other wrapped around his waist. You tried to keep your leg tightly around him. The last thing that you wanted was to lose the deep wet hold that Sirius had on you.
“Take it all.”
He growled focusing on keeping his entire length inside of you. Sirius could feel your body stretching more with each thrust and it was driving him crazy. He hadn ‘t even bothered getting the rest of the lingerie off of you. The thigh-high stockings and how your breasts bounced with each thrust was enough to keep him going.
“So fucking sexy.”
You, meanwhile, lay with your hands desperately grabbing at the sheets while trying to keep yourself from coming too early. In the beginning, you had all intentions of being the dominant one during this little romp, however, once Sirius took over you were fine with the power shift. You were happy to be his obedient little submissive if it kept your fiance plumbing you like this.
“Damn it, Y/n, you are going to have to come. I can’t keep waiting.”
You grinned, evilly. He wasn’t going to finish you off this quickly...or was he? With one touch to your clit, your body began to spasm. Two deep thrusts and circular motions to your clit was enough to have you coming apart as Sirius set up a near feverish pace.
“Fuck!”
Sirius gasped before filling you completely. He remained motionless for a moment. The feeling of full satisfaction was relieving.
“You know, if you want to throw me on a bed and do this again...I wouldn’t really complain.”
Sirius said with a smirk as he gently put your leg down on the bed in order to join you. You wrapped your arm around his chest in order to preserve any physical contact possible.
“I have always loved throwing you on the bed and having my way with you.”
Sirius lay with his eyes closed. He looked like he had won some super amazing reward.
Sirius sat at the dining room table as the grandfather clock in the hallway went off. He didn’t look up from the glass of whiskey in front of him. Sirius couldn’t look away. He didn’t even want to think about the events of the day. Matilda was gone...his sweet spunky daughter was gone. Watching her die in front of him was something that Sirius would never forget. He saw it every time he closed his eyes.
He saw that vacant look in Matilda’s eyes as her body hit the floor...at his feet. If Sirius had just moved fast enough...he could have grabbed her. Matilda would be alive and none of this would be happening.
It's my fault…
Sirius’ mind went to you. He wouldn’t forget the devastated expression on your face as you screamed,
“Sirius, get her! Save her!”
Remus stepping into the room pulled Sirius from his thoughts. His best friend looked as exhausted as Sirius felt.
“Y/n is sleeping. I gave her a safe potion.”
Sirius nodded as Remus sat down. Remus’s attention turned to Sirius. His best friend looked completely broken. Sirius looked worse than he had that night at the Shrieking Shack.
“Good.”
He said sadly. Remus sat silently for a few moments before taking a breath.
“Sirius, I know what you are thinking and it isn’t your fault.”
Sirius snorted.
“If I was any kind of father I would have protected my child. Now she’s dead...and Y/n is pregnant with another one that I will probably…”
Sirius stopped talking. He couldn’t continue the sentence. Remus took a breath.
“Sirius, you couldn’t help what happened. Matilda had no business going after that man. You can’t stop someone from making bad decisions. You are not a bad father and Y/n is not a bad mother. Beating yourself up and drinking a whole bottle of booze will not bring your daughter back...nor is it healthy.”
Sirius slammed his hands down on the table making Remus jump.
“I know damn well that it won’t bring my daughter back!”
Sirius sunk back down in his chair before focusing his attention on Remus. He had been so lost in his own suffering that he forgot that Remus had lost Matilda too.
“I’m sorry, Remus.”
Remus nodded.
“It's fine. Emotions are raw right now. You should go be with Y/n. She will need you more than ever in the coming days. The two of you will need to handle this together....not apart.”
(the next morning)
Your eyes fluttered open around 7 am. Almost immediately you felt like you were about to go into a panic attack. The realization that Matilda’s death the day before was not some horrible nightmare made you begin to breath heavily. Your sweet bubbly sarcastic little ray of sunshine was gone never to return.
“Y/n?”
Sirius’ voice sounded groggy as he flipped the lamp on. He looked exhausted as the realization of your panic attack hit him.
“Come here.”
He said before pulling you into his arms. You snuggled against his bare chest trying to calm down. Sirius was trembling as much as you were as he soothingly rubbed your back.
“This is horrible, Sirius. I don’t think that I have ever hurt this badly.”
Sirius closed his eyes automatically. A truer statement had never been made. He thought the pain of losing you when he was thrown into prison was bad. Hell, he would have gladly gone back to Azkaban if it meant Matilda was still alive.
“It's my fault. I didn’t move fast enough.”
You slowly pulled back and immediately shook your head.
“It is not your fault! Please don’t blame yourself.”
Sirius sighed, miserably.
“How can I not? I was supposed to protect her and I failed miserably at that.”
You wrapped your arms back around your lover. Neither of you spoke for a few moments as both of you lay down.
“Because it isn’t your fault. I can’t tell you how to feel but I don’t blame you.”
Sirius didn’t speak. Instead, he kept his eyes locked on the ceiling. Something told you that both of you were going to spend a lot of the following days silently miserable.
The following weeks were some of the hardest of everyone’s life. To Remus’ surprise, it wasn’t Sirius pulling away from you but you pulling away from everyone else. You started working longer and longer hours leaving Sirius and Remus worried out of their minds. Tonk, Moody, and Kingsley promised to keep a close eye on you but they were worried too.
You stood in the bathroom brushing your hair one morning. Sirius stepped into the room and leaned casually against the doorframe.
“Stay home today.”
You didn’t look in his direction immediately.
“Sirius, you know I have to work.”
Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and let his attention fall to your stomach. You were finally beginning to show. His eyes were locked on the small curve of your stomach.
He waited a second before quickly moving behind you and pulling your body against his. Sirius was relieved that you smiled when his hand covered your stomach.
“I think you need to slow down. You’re starting to show.”
You reached down and put your hand over his.
“Sirius, a lot of women work when they are pregnant.”
He sighed from behind you.
“They aren’t my fiance. Most of them also aren’t going after homicidal maniacs either.”
“Sirius…”
“Well, forgive me for wanting to protect what family I have left.”
He snapped before turning and walking away.
(2 weeks later…)
“I’m worried about her.”
Remus said over his cup of tea. Sirius nodded.
“You and I both.”
Remus had I tried talking to you just as Sirius had (minus the feeling you up part because that would have been awkward as hell.) Just like Sirius, you dismissed him. You actually called him a worrywart and to stop acting like your mother.
“She isn’t sleeping is she?”
Remus questioned. Sirius shook his head.
“Not really. She laid down with me for a few hours but if she slept...I don’t know. I’m worried about her and the baby. Apparently, me voicing my concern is controlling. We already lost one kid, I don’t really want to go for two.”
Remus had to look away from his best friend’s face. Tonks stepped in with a concerned expression on her face.
“I’m sorry to bother you two but I think you should come with me.”
Both Sirius and Remus stood up and followed Tonks into the dining room where you stood with the table covered in papers and files. You were looking around almost maniacally as you tapped your fingers on the table.
“Love, how long have you been awake?”
Sirius asked. You held a hand up.
“Doesn’t matter...I need answers...I have ideas and I think I know how to get a hold of three dorks who are on my list.”
Remus and Sirius glanced at each other. Sirius leaned over to Remus.
“We’ve seen her like this before.”
“Yeah, O.W.L exams in 5th year. Three days and no sleep...by day three she was crying over penguins in Antarctica.”
Sirius winced. The memory of you crying all over him because of penguins was one weird thing to remember. Sirius stepped forward and gently pulled you against him.
“How are you staying awake.”
You pointed to the mug on the table.
“American coffee works wonders. No wonder they are on edge all of the time.”
Sirius pushed the cup away.
“You are going upstairs with me to lay down. No more coffee or whatever else you are drinking. This isn’t healthy for you or the baby. I am putting my foot down and saying no more. If you take a nap, I’ll come down here and help you with whatever rabbit hole that you have gone down.”
You snuggled your face against Sirius’ chest. Maybe a little sleep didn’t sound too bad.
“Fine.”
Sirius kept his hand locked around yours as the two of you went to your shared bedroom. He wanted to make sure that you didn’t try to make a run for it.
Shutting the door behind him, Sirius pulled his shirt over his head as you laid down. You didn’t fight him when you were pulled against his chest. It was nice being close to him. The physical contact was almost heavenly.
“I’ve missed you...the real you.”
Sirius said, softly. You breathed in his scent feeling guilty about your “absence.” It didn’t matter how many times you tried to tell Sirius that it was for good reason; he wouldn't believe you. All that he saw was you were not at home as much.
“Sirius, please don’t.”
Sirius groaned.
“What do you want me to say, Y/n?”
“Nothing, I want you to say nothing.”
Sirius rolled his eyes.
“Well, I’m not that kind of guy and I think you know that. You have known me for a long damn time and I am not a stand back and watch it happen kind of person. I am watching you fall apart and can’t do anything about it.”
You poked your head up.
“I am not falling apart. I am doing the best that I have ever done at my job. Hell, I just locked up one of the Rosiers up last week. What about you?”
Sirius frowned.
“What about me?”
You motioned to the bottle of whiskey on the bedside table.
“You are drinking more than ever. I thought that it was bad when you got out of Azkaban but it's worse now. You have to have a drink to function now. If you don’t drink you're just a blob that hates everyone.”
Sirius’ mouth dropped as he got out of bed.
“A blob that hates everyone? That’s how you feel?”
You nodded.
“Face it, Sirius. We are both barely functioning right now. When was the last time that you touched me?”
Sirius quickly pulled his shirt back on muttering under his breath. He turned back to you with a glare.
“It's hard to touch someone who is never here.”
Over the next few days, neither Sirius nor yourself spoke a word to each other. Instead of asking how you were feeling, Sirius had Remus do it. You would talk to your brother no matter how mad you would get at Remus. This left poor Remus in the middle of what appeared to be World War 3 between the two of you. He would just awkwardly look between the two of you as you both hissed snide comments to each other.
The only thing that you were glad about was the fact that Harry had gone back to school. You didn’t want him seeing the shit show that his godparents were going through. He had offered to stay home and be with you if you wanted but you had quickly dismissed that.
“Y/n, I can stay home. I don’t feel right leaving you.”
Harry said as you dropped him off at the train station. You had smiled and ran your hand through his hair.
“You're sweet but you need your education. I will be just fine and so will Sirius..”
Harry took a breath.
“I feel like it's my fault...you know...with what happened to Matilda.”
You pulled the boy into a hug and gently stroked his hair.
“Harry, that was not your fault and I don’t want you to blame yourself. You told her not to go. Darling, you can’t stop people from making decisions. I don’t blame you and neither does Sirius. You’re as good as our son. I am very proud of you.”
Harry looked relieved by your comment.
“I’ll write to you soon.”
You nodded as he hugged you once more then went off to join Ron and Hermione.
“Sirius!”
You ran into Grimmauld Place screaming your fiancé’s name.
“Sirius, where are you?”
He stepped out of the kitchen with Remus behind him. Both looked surprised to see you and by the fact that you were talking to Sirius.
“What’s wrong?”
He asked, clearly confused by your sudden burst of happiness. You were smiling so big he wondered if you were high on caffeine from coffee.
Reaching out you grabbed his wrist to tug him with you.
“I have a surprise for you!”
Sirius raised an eyebrow before meeting Remus’ confused expression and shrugging.
“You talking to me is a surprise.”
Sirius said, snidely. You chose to ignore the comment and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Standing on your tiptoes, you tried to reach him but your slowly extending stomach was beginning to prevent any kind of cuddles.
“You’re snippy right now but you are about to thank me.”
Sirius wanted to play “hard to get” but having you this close was too heavenly. Had he really forgotten how nice it was to feel you this close to him?
“Okay...well let's go see what it is then.”
Sirius followed you into the dining room and froze the moment that he saw Peter Pettigrew tied to a chair. Tonks stood with her wand pointed at him, ready to attack. You grinned.
“Surprise!”
Both Sirius and Remus’ mouths dropped as you walked over to Pettigrew and glared down at him. Sirius opened and closed his mouth to speak a few times before actually speaking.
“How did you? Where did you? Help me out here.”
You grinned.
“I caught him. Can we just say that I did a good job?”
Peter winced.
“She beat me up.”
“You’re lucky that I didn’t kill you.”
You said, smacking him again. Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. He wanted to laugh and make a joke that Peter was pathetic enough to get picked up by a pregnant woman. On the other hand, Peter was picked up by Sirius’ pregnant girlfriend! What if you were hurt?
“Are you okay?”
Sirius asked, reaching for you. You nodded, letting him run his hands over you to check for “injuries” that didn’t exist.
“I’m fine. Are you surprised?”
Sirius nodded.
“Honestly, yes. So Peter, how does it feel to have your ass handed to you by a pregnant woman? This is actually fucking hilarious.”
You slowly removed yourself from Sirius’ arms.
“I am going to go call the minister of magic. We have a score to settle.”
Sirius, looked like he had won the lottery, as Remus sat down beside Peter adding a second wand to the guarding.
“You all are calling them?”
Sirius rolled his eyes.
“Y/n is an auror, you twit. Did you think that she was going to bring you to dinner or something?”
Peter shivered, knowing that he was fucked.
“I heard your daughter died.”
He commented. Sirius instantly froze as the smirk washed over his face.
“News travels quickly.”
Peter nodded.
“Do you think that you are going to keep that other kid-safe? It will die just like Matilda. You’ll never be able to keep them safe. You sent your pregnant fiance to catch me.”
Before anyone could say anything Sirius had knocked the chair over that Peter was sitting on and was beating the hell out of him. Remus and Tonks both stood motionless letting Sirius have the time of his life. After a moment, Remus slowly pulled Sirius off.
“Don’t kill him. Let the dementors do it.”
Sirius slowly backed off as you walked back into the kitchen with Rufus Scrimgeour. The older man froze seeing Sirius.
“You! We have been looking everywhere for you!”
You quickly stepped in front of your fiancé.
“Minister, he didn’t do what he blamed for. I have the proof of it.”
Scrimgeour frowned.
“I hope you have an entertaining story.”
You grinned.
“Oh, I do. See that piece of very beaten up trash over there? That is Peter Pettigrew.”
Scrimgeour blinked a few times as he took in what you said.
“Black killed him.”
“I should have.”
Sirius muttered as you gave him a scowl. Walking across the room, you pointed your room at Peter.
“Talk trash.”
You snapped. Peter winced up at you before turning to the minister.
“Before she kills me, I’m Peter Pettigrew. I….did it!”
He screamed before crying like a little baby. You turned your attention back to Scrimgeour.
“I would like you to clear my fiancé of the charges and I want it in writing. If you want to go the extra mile to kiss my ass, you can make a radio announcement of what really happened.”
Scrimgeour was silent as he looked between Peter, Sirius, and yourself. This was the last thing when he received a call from one of his top aurors.
“This was definitely unexpected. I think your requests are legitimate and I will grant it. Mr. Black, you’re cleared of all charges and I offer an apology. I’ll just call out to Azkaban to have some dementors come to pick Pettigrew up.”
You felt Sirius tense behind you. Without turning, you felt him tremble. It didn’t take you being an auror to know how afraid he was. The last thing that he probably wanted to think about was one of those hooded menaces being within a few feet of him.
Reaching behind you, your hand found his. You pulled his arm around and held it to your stomach. Sirius stopped trembling a bit and gently stroked his thumb over where his baby was.
It isn’t over…
The thought was negative but Sirius didn’t care. He knew that no matter what the ministry said there would still be people who were convinced that he was a murderer. People would still whisper anytime that he would be seen in public. Sirius winced at the thought of the comments that would be made your way.
“Did you hear that he is the father of Y/n Lupin’s baby? That poor child having a murderer for a father…”
You turned in his arms with a worried expression on your pretty face.
“Let’s go to the other room.”
You said, softly. The last thing that you wanted was for Sirius to have to look at the dementors when they came to take Peter away.
Sirius walked into the living room and glared out the window.
“For a guy who was just exonerated of all charges, you look awful miserable.”
Sirius ran a hand over his face before turning to you.
“Does it really matter? Y/n people are still going to talk. They will still think that I am a murderer and you, princess, are knocked up by a psychopath.”
Your happy expression faded.
“I am having a baby with the man that I love. We’ve gone through some shit lately but you're still the man that I know.”
Sirius leaned back against the window frame.
“I don’t think so. That man is long gone and this one doesn’t know what he wants anymore.”
“Sirius, you’re scaring me.”
You said. At the moment, you wanted nothing more than for him to hold you. Sirius sighed.
“You’re better off without me. Find someone else, Y/n.”
Sirius turned and walked from the room without another word. He knew that he was going to live to regret his decision but at the moment all he wanted was to get drunk….
After Matilda walked out of the room, no one said anything for a moment. Both Sirius and yourself looked at each other doing a silent game of “rock paper scissors” to see who was going to go deal with the girl. Remus was the first to look up. He rolled his eyes knowing what the two of you were going.
“I’ll go talk to her.”
Remus said, softly before muttering “look at you two scared of a little girl.” Sirius scowled at his friend before turning back to you.
“How are you feeling?”
You put down your teacup with a frown.
“You just asked me that a few moments ago.”
Sirius held his hands up.
“Forgive me for wanting to make sure that you were alright.”
You sighed, trying to keep in mind that Sirius was only caring for you. The man was probably as on edge as you were.
“I’m sorry. I’m feeling okay. Just really tired and now I’m afraid of how our daughter is taking this.”
Sirius’ dark eyes fluttered to the stairs in case Matilda had some change of heart and wanted to talk. When she didn’t appear, Sirius’ attention turned back to you.
“Tilley will be fine, love. I’m sure this is just a bit of a shock. Hell, I was shocked too. I’m okay now though. Harry doesn’t seem too concerned.”
Harry looked up from his dinner. He had decided to keep his two cents to himself. Other than saying a congratulatory message, Harry’s concern was calming Matilda down later.
“I see where Matilda is worried but at the same time maybe this will be for the best.”
You smiled at your godson. That was a James Potter-like answer if you had ever heard one. Sirius seemed to be as impressed as you.
“I think it's a perfect time too.”
Sirius said, leaning back in his chair with a smile. Did he really think that it was a perfect time to be having another baby, hell no. The better question was, did you have to know what he was actually thinking? No. Sirius could sit there and wonder if he was batshit insane peacefully in his head.
(meanwhile)
Remus stepped into the next room where Matilda sat looking out the window.
“Matilda, I think it's time for one of our famous uncle to niece talks.”
Matilda turned around with a frown that resembled Sirius so much that if Remus didn’t know better; he would have thought Sirius had turned into a girl.
“Remus, tell me that what they are doing is crazy.”
Remus nodded and sat down.
“In ways. It was crazy where your mom got pregnant with you but that turned out fine.”
Matilda frowned.
“Dad got locked up for 13 years. What about that is fine?”
Remus sighed and took one of her hands in his.
“Nothing is fine about it. I know that you don’t feel very strongly about this and that is okay. Your parents, however, are happy. Don’t they deserve one little bit of happiness in their lives?”
Matilda was silent for a moment. She had to agree about that one thing. Sirius and yourself did deserve some happiness. Both of your existences had been gloomy.
“You’re right.”
Remus gently patted Matilda’s face.
“Good, Now go get ready for bed.”
When Matilda walked into the bedroom that she was sharing with Harry; he looked up from the book that he was reading.
“All good?”
Matilda sat down in a huff.
“I will be. I still think mum and dad are nuts. Harry, I was thinking about that bar and Greyback. I am thinking about sneaking out and going back there. If Bellatrix isn’t there I really think that I could get the man locked up.”
Harry immediately shook his head.
“Matilda, no. We can’t go back to that bar. We promised...besides...there is something about that idea that has suicide all over it. This is like you breaking into Malfoy Manor and just to call Lucius Malfoy Tgiant Malibu Barbie.”
Matilda looked pleased that Harry remembered her special name for Draco’s father. Harry shook his head.
“Promise me that you won’t go back to that bar. Something isn’t right.”
Matilda rolled her eyes before muttering a quiet “I promise.”
(later that night…)
Harry woke up to a loud clap of thunder. He reached over for his glasses with a yawn. Deciding it was time for a glass of water.
Slipping out of bed, Harry’s attention turned to Matilda’s bed. He froze seeing the bed empty and her nightgown laying on the foot of the bed.
“Matilda, no.”
Harry muttered before running out of the bedroom and down the stairs. After checking multiple rooms, Harry ran into the sitting room where you sat reading a book. You gave him a sweet smile.
“Harry, dear, are you alright?”
You asked, softly. Harry shook his head as Sirius walked in.
“Matilda...I think she snuck out. She said something about going after Greyback again. She isn’t upstairs.”
Your mouth dropped as Sirius turned and ran up the stairs to make sure Harry wasn’t having some nightmare.
“Are you sure, Harry?”
You asked as you quickly stood and went in search of your sweater. Remus, hearing all of the noise, came out of his room looking confused.
“What’s wrong?”
You were trembling as Sirius came back looking paler than normal.
“Please tell me she is upstairs.”
You said your voice breaking. Sirius shook his head.
“I wish that I could...we better get going, love.”
Remus, who had been quickly filled in by Harry, went after his best friend.
“Sirius, we need to make a plan. We can’t just go in there ready to kill.”
Sirius turned back with an expression on his face that made Remus step back. The look in his eyes was nothing short of crazed.
“This is my baby that we are talking about. I don’t mind killing someone for her. Either come with me or stay behind.”
When your hand intertwined with his, Sirius stopped the neurotic death march that he was on. Sirius froze. He took a few deep breaths before looking down at your tear-streaked face.
“Y/n, sweetheart, I want you to stay here. Stay here with Harry. If you or the baby gets hurt...I won’t…”
You shook your head. If Sirius thought that you were going to let him go after Matilda on his own then he was really stark raving mad.
“Sirius, our daughter is in danger. I am not about to let you do this on your own. We can argue over sexism later.
Arriving back at the shabby bar neither Sirius nor yourself was thinking rationally any long. Both of you were seeing red. If something happened to your daughter, you would never forgive yourself. Sirius was the first to reach the door. He didn’t even bother opening it instead he kicked it open.
Storming into the room, your heart froze seeing Matilda with her wand pointed right at Greyback. The werewolf looked a bit surprised, however, he regained his cocky demeanor quickly. He grinned at Sirius, Remus, and yourself.
“Can one of you get this child under control?”
Sirius’ attention was focused on Matilda.
“Matilda, come here.”
He growled. The moment that Bellatrix popped into the room, Sirius began to panic a bit more internally. He quickly started to walk across the room to retrieve his daughter but stopped when Bellatrix grabbed Matilda from behind.
“Let me go, you freak job!”
Matilda snapped, throwing her fist backward to hit Bellatrix in the nose. The older woman howled angrily as blood began to trickle from her nose.
“Stupid brat! You hit me!”
Matilda gave her cousin a cold glare.
“And you can state the obvious.”
You had quickly come to join Sirius.
“Bella, let her go.”
Sirius said, trying to keep his voice calm. If he could just keep his deranged cousin calm enough the better the outcome would be. Once Matilda was safe and sound, Bella could die.
Bellatrix’s attention snapped up to your face. She hated you from day one and now it was time to make all of you pay. You were the whore that corrupted her cousin.
“Stupid auror! No wonder your brat is a horrible child.”
You watched through your peripheral vision as Sirius slipped around you to get to Matilda. If he could get his hands on Matilda then the three of you could get out of there. You weren't sure what happened in the bar prior to your arrival and you didn’t care. The only thing that you cared about was getting your daughter out alive.
“I would watch it if I were you, Bellatrix. Your cell in Azkaban is waiting for your return.”
Bellatrix’s eyes narrowed on you.
“What about that husband of yours? I won’t be going alone.”
“Yeah, I don’t think so.”
Sirius said coldly as he reached out to grab Matilda. Bellatrix quickly pointed her wand at the child and screeched.
The next morning you stood getting ready to go on a mission with Tonks. She jabbered on and on about how she was going to get Remus to fall in love with her. As you brushed your hair, you found yourself wondering if this is how Remus felt when Sirius and yourself were all over each other? If so you most definitely owed your older brother an apology.
“Where are you going??”
You were relieved to hear Sirius’ voice. He had walked in with Matilda on his tail. You couldn’t help but feel thrilled at watching the two of them together. Matilda finally had the father that she wanted (minus the fact that he wasn't exactly the man that he used to be).
“I have a case to work on.”
You replied, knowing that Sirius did not like the fact that you were an auror. Sirius had made snide remarks about your career choice since he had been back. You knew it was the protective side of your lover coming back, however, it was still annoying. He didn’t seem to understand the fact that you did the job because you enjoyed it plus it helped with information for the order.
Sirius, meanwhile, sat down with an eye roll. Normally, he wouldn’t say anything in front of Matilda but at the moment he didn’t care.
“Who is it this time?”
He asked. You didn’t respond right away as you avoided Tonks’ nervous gaze.
“Just some dark wizard. We are going to watch him for a bit.”
Sirius leaned back with a groan. He ignored Remus who was standing behind Matilda and Harry waving his arms saying “no” silently.
“Who is it, Y/n?”
You finally turned.
“Fenrir Greyback.”
Both Remus and Sirius’ mouths dropped. It had been no secret to either man that Greyback had always been person number one on your list to catch. After what he did to your brother, he signed his own death warrant.
Sirius quickly stood up.
“Absolutely not! How many times do we have to have this damn conversation? I don’t want you going anywhere near that man!”
“It's my job, Sirius.”
Sirius was trying to keep calm. The two of you had discussed staying away from this man at least 30 times in your past. What were you thinking? Was having a boyfriend and daughter at home not enough to make you want a safe job?
“Find a new job. I never wanted you to be an auror anyway.”
You crossed your arms over your chest before focusing on your daughter who was looking between the two of you nervously.
“We’ll have this conversation later.”
Sirius shook his head.
“No, we are having this right now. You are going to stalk some crazed lunatic who turned your older brother into a werewolf and I am supposed to sit back and be cool with this? What about Matilda and I?”
“The last time I checked you are starting to do jobs again too. You could easily get caught. So, I am sending your question right back to you. What about Matilda and I, if you get hauled back to prison?”
Harry stood up and was gently trying to tug Matilda out of the room. He knew that this was a conversation that neither of them needed to be seeing. Matilda, however, wasn’t moving. She was almost ready to panic. The last thing that Matilda wanted was for either of her parents to get hurt or sent back to prison.
“That isn’t going to happen. Memory charms are about to be my best friend.”
“So it's okay for you to go out and do missions but it's not okay for me?”
At this point, Remus had enough. He had been watching his niece’s horrified expression as she truly realized what her parents were going to be doing. Remus put a hand on Matilda’s shoulder.
“Go with Harry, dear.”
Matilda didn’t argue with Remus. She quickly stood and followed her best friend out of the room as Remus turned to face Sirius and yourself.
“I want both of you to stop right now. Did either of you happen to notice the expression on your daughter’s face? She is scared and both of you were so wrapped up in each other to even realize. Sirius, I don’t like the idea of Y/n and Tonks going after Greyback any more than you do but Y/n is right. This is her job. It's just watching him. Y/n, you are going to have to accept the fact that Sirius isn’t a sit back and watch type. Now go in opposite directions until the two of you can talk like sane adults.”
Both Sirius and yourself refused to look at each other. Neither of you wanted to admit that Remus was right. You felt immediately guilty about having that argument in front of your child. This would make for one awkward conversation later.
“I’ll see you all later.”
You said before turning and following Tonks from the room.
Sirius didn’t move for a moment. He stood looking at the place that you had just vacated with pain-filled eyes. If something happened to you, he honestly had no idea what he would do. He had just gotten you back and now you were out risking your life.
He turned and walked into the other room changing into another shirt while muttering under his breath. Sirius’ attention fell on Matilda who was sitting on the couch. He felt immediately guilty. The poor girl looked too much like himself as a teen when he was trapped in this godforsaken house.
Sirius hated listening to his parents fight as a kid and now here he was doing the same thing to the little girl that he loved more than anything in the world.
“Tilley, everything is going to be just fine.”
Sirius said calmly as her grey eyes rolled to him.
“I don’t know about that.”
Sirius quickly knew down in front of her and took one of her hands in his. He looked between his daughter and Harry, who was looking as worried as Matilda.
“I don't want the two of you worrying about adult business. The only thing that I want the two of you worrying about is being teenagers.”
Matilda looked up. She wanted to make a comment about the conversation that she had heard between her parents the night before but didn’t. Sirius wanting Peter Pettigrew’s head on a silver platter wasn’t a normal request.
“It's a little hard not to. Mum is going after Greyback and you’re going out to do whatever you’re going to do. How do you honestly expect me not to worry?”
Sirius sighed. The expression on the girl’s face eerily reminded him of you. Granted, every time he saw that expression you were usually yelling at him or upset about something.
“You’re so grown up for your age, sweetheart. I suppose asking you not to worry is a bit selfish. Matilda, nothing is going to happen to your mum or me. Okay?”
Matilda finally nodded. Sirius patted her cheek before standing up.
“I need the two of you to stay here and be safe.”
When Sirius walked out of the room, Harry turned to Matilda.
“Shall I get my invisibility cloak?”
Matilda nodded without even thinking about it. Sure, her father told her to stay home and be good but when it came to her family being torn apart again...it wasn’t happening. Matilda had finally got her family back together and she was not about to lose it again.
Harry and Matilda slipped into the back seat of the car that Remus had bought a few days before. They knew if they were caught, things probably wouldn’t end well.
Sirius and Remus got into the front seat a few moments later completely unaware of the extra company in the back seat.
“Level with me, Remus, was I wrong earlier?”
Sirius asked, lighting a cigarette. Remus started the car without replying for a moment. He really didn’t want to get in the middle of this argument but it seemed like he didn’t have much of a choice.
“No, not really.”
He finally replied. Sirius frowned.
“So you agree that Y/n is wrong and that she shouldn’t be auror? I’m not saying that she has to be some ordinary housewife or whatever but just not an auror.”
Remus sighed, putting the car in drive.
“I never said that.”
“Then just what are you saying? Is there a gas leak or something in that house?”
Sirius snapped, feeling on edge again. The last thing that he wanted was to have it out with Remus but he would if he had to. He couldn’t help being livid over your career choice.
Remus chuckled.
“Sirius, I get that you are worried about Y/n...the two of you have been together for a very long time…”
Sirius held a hand up.
“Not talking about that! I am talking about the woman that I love running around with my cousin’s kid playing the Hardy Boys meet a werewolf.”
Remus sighed.
“Y/n knows what she is doing. She was trained by Alastor Moody himself. I’m more worried about Tonks than I am Y/n. Figure that one out.”
“So what’s going on with Tonks? Don’t you dare say nothing because I am seeing stuff?”
Remus’ instantly went scarlet. His green eyes focused on the road and didn’t dare to glance at his friend. Sirius smirked.
“Uh-huh. How long has this been going on?”
“3 months. I would like to thank you by the way. I tried some of those tricks that you use on Y/n. Tonks thinks I’m god in the bedroom now. I can honestly say that has never happened before.”
Meanwhile, Matilda and Harry were blushing so hard that they couldn’t even look at each other. This particular conversation was the last thing that they had expected to overhear. Matilda wanted to die. She didn’t even want to think about her parents having sex. What kid honestly did? If it wouldn’t have blown their cover she would have kindly asked Remus and Sirius to talk about something else.
Sirius laughed.
“I told you.”
Remus had this unfamiliar arrogant expression on his face. It quickly faded and went back to normal serious Remus Lupin.
“Do you realize that Y/n and yourself have been sleeping with each other since Y/n was around Matilda’s age?”
Sirius winced.
“First off, Y/n was in fourth year. Matilda isn’t there yet...not until fall. Second, things were different when we were teenagers. Third, if I find out that Matilda is doing that...some teenage boy is going to die under mysterious circumstances. Matilda isn’t like us so I don’t have to worry about it for a while.”
Remus had to agree there. Matilda was a lot different from her parents. She didn’t have time for boys and their crap at the moment. Remus was thankful for this...beyond thankful.
“Matilda is different. She’s smarter.”
Sirius nodded.
“Y/n and I were having sex because we both wanted to feel close to someone. I was trying to feel close to people a long time before Y/n agreed to be with me.”
A truer statement had never been made in Remus’ opinion. At that point in both of your lives, the two of you were desperate for someone to feel close to. Sirius was on his last stand with his family. In his 15 years on the planet, he had never once felt actual love. You were wanting someone to love you for you not just being Remus Lupin’s sister.
For Sirius, you were the first girl that wanted him for more than just his family’s good looks and money. You actually cared about him.
“So who are we going after?”
Sirius asked, having enough of the subject of his past. He didn’t want to think about the number of girls that he slept with before getting with you and the first couple of weeks after “starting” the relationship. Sirius wanted to admit that you changed him immediately but that wasn’t the case. It took you almost leaving him over his contestant flirting with other girls to get his head screwed on right.
Remus looked down at the paper on his lap.
“Lucius Malfoy. He isn’t here but someone who has some dirt on him and Peter offered to give up what she had. The only catch is she is a stripper.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow as he looked at the building.
“So, that is why we are at a strip club.”
Remus nodded.
“The girl is Sarah Meadowes.”
Sirius frowned.
“Dorcas’ sister?”
Remus looked down sadly. He didn’t want to think about how Dorcas would feel if she knew that her sister was working in some strip club.
“Yeah. I didn’t really want to go in but we need the information.”
Sirius sighed.
“I have no shame. I’ll go in. Not a word of this to Y/n.”
He didn’t wait for Remus to reply before getting out of the car and walking inside. This was the last thing that Sirius planned on telling you about. That would be suicide.
The music in the building was blaring as Sirius walked to the bar and flagged down the bartender for a drink.
God, I used to enjoy this shit.
Sirius thought as he looked around the room for Sarah’s face. He didn’t know her very well. She was a few years behind Sirius in school. He didn’t have the time or patience for the little girls that would blush like tomatoes when he walked by. She would hang out with her sister from time to time but in no way was she part of Sirius’ group.
When Sirius finally spotted Sarah, he put down what was left of the fire whiskey and walked in the girl’s direction. He mentally apologized to Dorcas for what he was about to do.
“How about a dance, sweetheart?”
Sirius whispered in Sarah’s ear. Sarah didn’t turn around as she finished putting some money in her bra.
“Sure, my name’s Tiffany.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. This was going to take more effort than he thought.
“Isn’t that cute, Sarah?”
The girl quickly turned around. She was completely shocked to see her school crush standing right in front of her.
“Sirius hi. I heard that you got out of…”
Sirius nodded.
“Yeah. now about that dance?”
Sarah followed him to a private room and closed the door behind her. She knew exactly what he was here for. Members of the order had been paying her visits off and on over the years. Sirius’ visit wasn’t going to be any different.
She slowly climbed on Sirius’ lap and gently rocked her hips against his. Sirius took a sip of the whiskey that Sarah had put in his hand.
“I know what you’re here for.”
“Is that so? Well, I guess that saves me from asking.”
Sirius replied. He kept his face cold and shut off. The last thing that he wanted to admit was the fact that Sarah was actually decent at a lapdance. Sarah stroked her hand down his chest before leaning forward to press a series of kisses down Sirius’ cheek.
“Peter Pettigrew stays at Malfoy Manor. The little tool thinks that he won’t be caught there. If you want to get your hands on him the best day will be a Thursday. Lucius and his band of merry misfits meet with the dark lord that day.”
Sirius took another sip of his drink.
“Just how do you know this?”
Sarah smirked.
“I used to have bad friends. So what about you?”
Sirius raised an eyebrow.
“Me?”
Sarah nodded. She quickly turned, pressing her back against his chest. Normally she wouldn’t let some man touch her but this was different. This was the one man that she wanted to get her hands on since she was a child. She took his left hand and placed it on her breast. Sirius didn’t move to grope her like most men would. Instead, he sat dead still.
The moment Sarah’s eyes landed on the golden band on his ring finger; she froze.
“Do you have a family now, Sirius?”
“Yeah, I’m with Y/n Lupin. We have a 13-year-old daughter.”
Sarah wanted to stomp off but decided to enjoy the moment while she could.
“I figured the two of you would end up together. I didn’t expect kids though. It looks like Sirius Black has grown up.”
Sirius took another sip of his drink.
“Yeah….I guess.”
Sarah turned back to face him.
“How would your fiance react knowing some other woman was rubbing all over you? Better yet, would your little girl like someone who isn’t her mummy touching you?
Sirius’ expression turned colder. The taunt about Matilda and yourself was below the belt.
“Let’s not talk about my family, huh? I was here for an answer to my question. I got that now.”
Sirius took his wand out and muttered obliviate. He carefully slipped out from underneath Sarah and slipped out before she came back around.
Remus looked up when the car door opened. The expression on Sirius’ face was one that Remus knew well. There was something bothering him and Remus had a feeling that he wasn’t going to find out.
“Well?”
“Malfoy Manor on Thursdays. You’re welcome.”
Remus only nodded. He decided not to question his friend about what happened with Sarah Meadowes. If Sirius wanted to tell him what happened he would.
“Great. I heard from Y/n. They found Greyback. I was thinking about going to join them.”
Sirius put his head back against the headrest.
“Cool.”
30 minutes later….
You sat beside Tonks as she watched the door to the bar that Greyback had walked into. She had suggested going inside and changing her appearance but you said no.
“I don’t like it. I could go in there and stay hidden.”
“No, Tonks you know that you aren’t supposed to go near that man alone. You heard what Kingsley said. This guy isn’t like anyone we have ever faced. He has been haunting my family for years and I can tell you he won’t just die.”
A knock on the window made both Tonks and yourself jump. You felt relieved the moment that you saw Remus on the other side.
“I’m killing your boyfriend.”
You muttered to Tonks before getting out. Remus gave you a small smile before going to his girlfriend. Muttering “jerk” under your breath, you turned to Sirius. You knew that he was still mad about the argument earlier.
“Come here.”
He said, pulling you from your thoughts. You didn’t need any more of an invitation to close the gap between you. Sirius pulled you into a long kiss. His hands closed on your face, stopping you from pulling away. You could taste the whiskey on him but at the moment you didn’t care. All that you could think about was the commanding kiss that he was giving you.
You were the first to break the kiss in order to breathe. Sirius was clearly waiting for you to come back for round two. You reached up stroking your hand over his cheek enjoying the feeling of his five o’clock shadow on your hand.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I was an ass.”
He said, softly.
“I was too.”
(meanwhile)
Matilda and Harry finally came out from under the invisibility cloak.
“Tilley, we need to get back under there.”
Harry said, looking around for his godfather. He knew that things wouldn’t be good if they were discovered in the back seat.
“Greyback is in there, Harry. I want to go have a look at him.”
Matilda replied. Harry shook his head.
“Are you crazy? We can’t even use our magic against him.”
Matilda rolled her eyes. She didn’t care at the moment. Fenrir Greyback caused enough issues with her family. He deserved a fist full of “don’t fuck with my family.” What Matilda seemed to forget was the fact that Fenrir Greyback was a full-grown man and she was a petite 13-year-old witch.
“I’m going, Harry. You can come with me or not.”
Matilda cracked the car door open and slipped down the alleyway so her parents wouldn't see her. It took Harry all of ten seconds to join her.
“I knew that you would come.”
She said with a smile. Harry nodded, swallowing.
“You’re my best friend. I’m not letting you go in there alone.”
The two exchanged a very Sirius Black/James Potter smile before slipping into the doorway. What the two didn’t see was Bellatrix Lestrange and Fenrir Greyback totally saw them come inside. The two death eaters gave each other confused looks before grinning evilly. Bellatrix was the first to stand up.
“Well, well look who it is.”
Both Matilda and Harry spun around automatically muttering “crap.” This was definitely going to make it into their all-time world’s worst decisions list. Matilda pushed in front of Harry glaring at Bellatrix. The older witch smirked.
“Matilda Jane Black. I wondered when I would meet you. I’m sure mummy and daddy would panic seeing you here.”
Matilda scowled at her before looking at Greyback who had stood up.
“Smells like her uncle. Bet she will taste as good too.”
“Quiet, you trash!”
Matilda snapped. Bellatrix giggled.
“She has Sirius’ temper. It will be lovely watching him suffer when we kill you little one.”
“Yeah, that isn’t going to happen.”
Matilda spun around to see her very angry father behind her as Remus and Tonks crashed through the front door. She felt even worse the moment that you walked in and all of the colors drained from your face.
Bellatrix looked around with her crazed expression.
“Look at this, wolfie, family reunion, know?”
Greyback scowled at the nickname Bellatrix had given them. He wasn’t about to get in a fight with two aurors and two other wizards that could easily handle him. This was no fair fight.
“Let’s go Bellatrix.”
He snapped as he gave Remus a little wave before disappearing. Bellatrix, meanwhile, didn’t want to back down but Greyback was right. This was not a fair fight. She quickly disappeared from the room leaving Matilda and Harry to deal with some very angry looking parents.
Matilda squeaked the moment that Sirius’ arms were around her.
“What the actual hell were you two thinking?”
He snapped as you crashed into Harry and began checking him for any signs of injury. Matilda didn’t speak as Sirius and yourself switched kids.
“I know that I’m not talking to myself.”
Sirius said, keeping his eyes on his daughter’s face. Matilda chewed on her lip as you finally let her go.
“Matilda Jane Black, your father asked you a question.”
Matilda knew that you weren’t playing. When you pulled the full name card, she knew that she was in for it.
“We wanted to have a look at him.”
Sirius rubbed a hand over his face. This was the closest that he had ever come to straight passing out. Walking into that bar to see Matilda and Harry within feet of death eaters was enough to cause a near panic attack.
“Well, there you go. Enjoy your little look at some death eaters? Remus, get them home.”
Neither Sirius or yourself were able to move as Remus ushered the children away. You were trying to get control back of your pounding heart as you heard your brother going into “professor mode.”
“Harry as I have told you before your parents died for them. You are poorly repaying them and Matilda your parents are going through enough hell as it is. We don’t need your help to add more.”
You didn’t hear any more as the door closed behind them leaving only Sirius and yourself alone in the bar…
After finally being able to break apart, you stood fixing your hair. The last thing that you wanted was for Sirius or yourself to go downstairs with “I just had sex” hair.
“I really would be interested in you getting more lingerie. That will be a nice thing to come home to after a job.”
Sirius said with a devious smile. When you blushed, he wanted to make a comment about his work being done.
“I’ll see what I can find. Now we better get downstairs for dinner before someone comes looking for us.”
You said before standing on your tiptoes to kiss his chin.
Walking into the dining room, you frowned realizing all sets of eyes were on Sirius and yourself. You sat down trying not to think anything of it until you noticed Matilda and Remus wearing matching scowls. Glancing over at Sirius, you noticed that he was clued in on the awkwardness in the room too.
“What?”
He finally asked. Matilda put her hands over her face and was briefly comforted by Tonks who was whispering something in her ear. Remus, meanwhile, shook his head.
“Silencing charms are a great thing, you know.”
The realization hit you like a bag of bricks to the stomach. Neither Sirius nor yourself had bothered with a silencing charm.
“Oh shit.”
Sirius muttered as your face went tomato red. Remus nodded. He was used to hearing the two of you having sex. Neither Sirius nor yourself knew how to be quiet when it came to making love.
“Yeah, we just got ringside seats for the event that no one wanted to go to.”
Tonks was silently giggling. She was making mental notes to ask questions later. Now definitely didn't seem like the time. Whatever you did she wanted to know what it was so she could try it on Remus.
Your attention went to Matilda who looked like she was ready to die.
“Tilley, honey, I am so sorry.”
Matilda held up a hand ignoring her clearly embarrassed parents.
“We DON’T have to talk about it. I get that you two have sex but that doesn’t mean that I want to witness your corny little sex jokes.”
Sirius crossed his arms over his chest.
“You kind of are our corny little sex joke. You’re the best thing that came out of that vacation.”
“DAD! I said we didn’t have to talk about it.”
Matilda snapped. Everyone was quiet for a few moments. Tonks finally leaned over to you.
“Hope it wasn’t a fertile day.”
The comment made all thoughts in your head freeze. Neither Sirius nor yourself had really talked about having a baby since he came back. That topic had been the furthest from your mind. Between doing jobs and working on getting your relationship back to the way it was getting pregnant again had totally never come upon the radar. In fact, neither Sirius nor yourself had even bothered with a contraceptive charm.
Oh, Merlin…
Would it be a bad thing though? The common-sense side of your brain said this was the worst time possible! Between the war at hand, Sirius still not being 100% in the clear from Azkaban, and your job, you didn’t really have the time for another child. Besides, Matilda was 13 years old. You would be starting all over again!
The “woman” inside of you, however, was swooning at the thought. Sirius had missed almost all of your pregnancy, Matilda’s birth, and almost all of her childhood. Having a child that he could be there for and help with was beyond swoon-worthy.
“I’m not worried about that, Tonks.”
You said, casually. Tonks grinned.
“With your luck, today is the day that you’ll get pregnant.”
Tonks was right. With the luck that you had, you would be pregnant and not even know about it.
“Don’t put that on me, Nymphadora.”
You said with a smirk. Tonks' mouth dropped. You were probably the only one that got away with calling her by her full name.
“Y/n, you can get pregnant anytime. Sitting down, standing up….”
“In a hotel hot tub.”
Sirius added with a grin not looking up from the newspaper that he was reading. You couldn’t help giggling at the grossed-out expression on Matilda’s face. This was obviously a horrible day for the girl. Now she just learned where she was officially “made.”
Sirius had been so focused on your conversation with Tonks that he forgot his daughter was still sitting there. It wasn’t until Matilda said “gross” did he lookup.
“Sorry that you had to find out this way, sugar.”
“God, do you two have to tell the whole world?”
She snapped before getting up and walking out.
The following weeks passed without much merritt. You had been on a few odd jobs keeping an eye on death eaters. Sirius and Remus were in quiet talks about how to get Peter away from Malfoy Manor. You still didn’t like the thought of Sirius sneaking out (no matter how good he was at it).
10:50...You looked down at your watch anxiously tapping your foot. Tonks was supposed to be there at 10:30 and she wasn’t.
It wasn’t until 11 am did Tonks come skidding into the house, tripping over Kreacher, and setting Walburga’s painting in a screaming fit. You shook your head as Remus got up to go silence the painting. No one wanted to listen to Walburga’s ranting; everyone but Matilda that was. Matilda was the only one that Walburga had anything nice to say about. The crazy old bat was constantly calling for Matilda to come to open the curtain so she could breathe.
“Precious, come save your poor grandmama. Your horrible father keeps me locked up behind this curtain….the scoundrel.”
You knew that you shouldn’t but you couldn't help but giggle at the frown that Matilda would give Sirius. She was almost pleading with her father not to make her talk to the painting and of course, Sirius wouldn’t make her.
“I’m just going to say no to that.”
She would say before scurrying out of the room to go join Harry in whatever he was doing.
Tonks took a deep breath, looking totally disheveled.
“Y/n! What in the name of Merlin is going on? I got six messages from you. I told you that I would be by after a meeting.”
You quickly grabbed her arm and tugged your soon to be sister-in-law into the kitchen.
“You jinxed me!”
Tonks frowned.
“What are you talking about?”
You threw your hands up.
“My period is late!”
Tonks' confused expression turned to a smirk as she poured herself a cup of tea.
“Sweetie, just because your period is late doesn’t mean that you are pregnant. Have you taken a test?”
You shook your head. No, you hadn’t taken a test. You had spent the past week waiting for your “visitor” to show up. It would come any day and you would be off the hook.
“No, I haven’t. I just knew it would come...and it hasn’t. Tonks, what if I am pregnant? This is the worst time to even think about having a baby. We still need to catch Peter, Sirius can’t be seen in public, and Voldemort is out there doing whatever he does. It's too dangerous.”
Tonks sat her teacup down and looked at you with her soothing calm expression.
“Y/n, Matilda was born during a huge time of uncertainty and you made it fine then. Maybe this is what Sirius and yourself need. He didn’t get to be a huge part of Matilda’s life due to no fault of his own. This could make up for lost time.”
Your heart swooned at the thought of Sirius actually getting to be a part of your child’s early life. That was something that you wanted from the beginning with Matilda. Your brain, however, was saying different things.
“Tonks, how am I going to explain who my baby’s father is if someone asks? There is no way that I can admit that. I would be putting Sirius and myself into Azkaban.”
Tonks crossed the room and wrapped her arms around you.
“Look at me. We are going to be putting Pettigrew into prison quickly. You’ll be able to say who the child’s father is with no problems. Neither Sirius nor yourself will be setting one foot back in that place. Now, how did you know that you were pregnant with Matilda.”
You calmed down enough to think back to that day…
Sirius and yourself had just returned from a trip to the Canary Islands. It was supposed to have been your honeymoon but the wedding had been pushed back. No one was really having any celebrations at this point. The two of you had only gone on vacations because if you didn’t go the money would have been lost.
“Pregnant.”
You read the pregnancy test over and over. Sirius came in the side door with James behind him. James was laughing hard about something.
“Good morning, love. Decide to wake up?”
Sirius asked before pulling you into a kiss. James rolled his eyes.
“Only the two of you go on a vacation then come back still all over each other.”
Sirius grinned and kissed your forehead.
“What do you have there?”
He asked, motioning to the object in your hand. You smiled before putting the test in his hand. Sirius was quiet for a moment before looking up with a huge smile.
“You’re pregnant? We’re going to have a baby?”
“Are you angry?”
You asked. Neither of you seemed to notice James who was almost eagerly jumping up and down. Sirius quickly pulled you into his arms.
“Are you kidding? I’m ecstatic! Love, I've never been happier.”
James finally couldn’t handle it.
“I have to go tell Lily! Our baby will have someone to play with!”
You were still in Sirius’ arms mid-kiss when James took off out the door like an overgrown child.
You pulled yourself from the memory and smiled.
“I just had a feeling...the same feeling that I have right now.”
Tonks smiled. She walked back into the hallway to fetch your raincoat before returning. She wrapped it around your shoulders before pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“Everything will be just fine. Now, I’m going to take you to the doctor and we are going to find out. We are going to find out.”
1 hour later…
“Pregnant! I knew it!”
Tonks squealed as the two of you walked back into Grimmauld Place. You hadn’t said much since the old witch said what your condition was. Stunned or scared was the best way to describe how you felt. You weren't sad or angry.
“I am telling you that you jinxed us.”
You said, forcing a smile. Tonks giggled.
“No, the two of you just can’t keep your paws off of each other. It's cute, though. Seeing the two of you happy. Since Sirius came back I have seen you happier than ever. It's nice. You’re my best friend, Y/n. I just want you to be happy.”
You felt better. Tonks always knew what to say to make you feel better.
When you walked into the kitchen, Sirius' eyes rolled up to yours.
“There you are, love. I was wondering where you went off to.”
You instantly froze. The last thing that you planned on was telling Sirius this quickly. You wanted to wait until he was in a really good mood. The expression on his face looked a bit off.
“I went out with Tonks for tea. Anything happen with Pettigrew?”
Sirius rolled his eyes and closed the newspaper in front of him.
“Bloody coward didn’t show. Remus and I sat there for four fucking hours for nothing. Waste of my time. I’m getting a bit frustrated. I was hoping to tear his leg off.”
He said, coldly. This definitely wasn’t a great time to be telling Sirius the “happy news.”
“I see. Well, I’ll leave you to it.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow. He knew that tone.
“What’s wrong?”
You turned, feeling the color fall from your face.
“Nothing. Everything is fine.”
Sirius sighed as Remus walked in. You internally groaned but it was probably best to tell them together. Maybe things would go better?
“Love, I have known your face since we were 11. What’s wrong?”
You pressed your lips together.
“I don’t want you to panic.”
Sirius leaned back in his chair crossing his arms over his chest. Remus had sat down beside his friend and was stirring a cup of tea.
“Conversations that start that way are concerning.”
You took a breath.
“Sirius…”
“Yeah, that’s my name. I would hope that you would know it.”
You held up a hand stopping his smirk. Sirius frowned. Whatever had you so worried was evidently not a laughing matter.
“Sweetheart?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Both Sirius and Remus froze. Remus knocked his teacup over and didn’t even seem to notice the liquid. You stood watching the two men that you loved more than any other.
“Sirius…”
“Are you sure?”
He asked. This was definitely news to him! The sane side of him was panicking! He was internally kicking his ass for not being more careful. Had he always been so desperate to get inside of you that he didn’t think of a simple charm to keep the two of you safe? Apparently so. Sirius had been behaving like an inexperienced teenager at the worst of times.
You, meanwhile, nodded.
“I know that it isn’t a good time but I am... I found out today.”
Sirius jumped up and pulled you into his arms. You pressed your face into his shoulder breathing in the scent of his cologne.
“Hush now. Everything is going to be fine. You know that I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Sirius said softly as he ran his fingers through your hair. Over your shoulder, he met Remus’ gaze. Without even speaking, Sirius knew that his friend was close to losing it too.
Sirius hadn’t even had a chance to tell you that Tonks was pregnant too. Remus had told him that morning during a full-fledged panic attack. Sirius had been relieved that it wasn’t him in that particular predicament.
I spoke too soon.
Sirius thought as he continued to comfort you.
“Everything will be alright.”
He said once more.
That night at dinner everyone was mostly quiet. You sat quietly at Sirius’ side looking up to meet Tonks gaze ever so often. She gave you a grin and went back to her dinner. You were still in slight shock over the fact that the two of you were pregnant at the same time.
Glancing at Sirius, you felt a bit guilty. You knew that he wasn’t thrilled with the news but he was too good of a man to say it. Maybe it wasn’t the fact that he wasn’t thrilled it was more the fact that he was worried about your safety. You were waiting for him to tell you that he wanted you to stop working as an auror. That would be coming soon.
“So, what’s going on?”
Matilda’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. You looked up to meet your daughter’s gaze. Both she and Harry sat looking around the room at each adult present.
Matilda had put together that something was going on from the moment that she sat down for dinner. Her mother and father were barely speaking to each other. The expressions on your face was nothing short of worry while Sirius looked almost blank. His eyes would periodically flicker to you before looking away.
You glanced over at Sirius. The two of you hadn’t even really discussed when to tell Matilda and Harry. They would definitely find out in time but telling them too early could make things more complicated. Sirius’ gave you a nod.
“Matilda, Harry...I’m pregnant. I just found out today.”
Harry instantly smiled.
“Congratulations!”
Matilda, meanwhile, sat looking between Sirius and yourself like both of you had gone crazy. Her dark eyes flickered between the two of you with nothing short of annoyance.
“Are you two barking mad? Having a baby right now? This is so insane!”
Matilda didn’t wait for Sirius nor yourself to say anything before storming out of the room. You stood to go after her but Sirius held his hand out.
