The Four Agreements
As I read more, I keep noticing common threads between multiple belief systems. I just finished a short book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I realize this book is not inherently pagan or witchcraft related by any means, but I think it is very much related to secular witchcraft, especially with respect to intention and manifestation. I must ask again, bear with me.
Though the book was barely over one-hundred pages, I believe it has already impacted my life in the way that I think and act. I feel a huge burden has been taken off my shoulders that I didn’t know was there. Sadly, the contents of this book now seem so obvious to me that I regret not having realized things sooner, but I’m still grateful for the knowledge now.
I. To begin, the author establishes something very simple that we all know already--that since birth, humans are conditioned to accept certain beliefs about our behavior, right and wrong, how things should be, what we should or shouldn’t do, etc. These beliefs vary based on culture and geographic location. We accept most of these beliefs blindly and over time and repetition they become our reality.
II. Further than the beliefs we are conditioned to accept since birth, we also form “agreements” or beliefs about the way things are based on very little evidence. The author posits that these false beliefs make us blind; they act as a fog that conceals reality from us. These beliefs also act as a sort of subconscious judge that abuses us--nobody abuses us as much as we abuse our own self.
III. The goal, then, according to Ruiz, is to break all of the agreements about reality that you made without proper cause. Each time you break a false agreement, you gain your power back. I suppose it’s even okay if you break an agreement that is true, so long as you’re willing to accept it once you receive proper evidence.
IV. There are four agreements, according to the book, that are safe for us to make with ourselves, and they are as follows: 1. Be impeccable with your word. In other words, use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself. This means avoiding gossip unless you are saying things that are true, such as “I wonder if,” or “I don’t understand why” or “It makes me feel ___ when...” you get the point, I hope. Gossip is poison when it is spread based on assumption. 2. Don’t take anything personally. To give weight to what people say about you when they don’t have the full story is to believe something that isn’t true, or at least not the full truth. 3. Don’t make assumptions. Assumptions without cause rarely lead to helpful or productive outcomes. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption--if you don’t understand something, just ask. All human problems would be resolved if we could just have good, clear communication with one another. 4. Always do your best. Keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next--everything is alive and changing all the time.
V. Ruiz recommends this mantra in order to help us remember the four agreements (hello wow, the psychiatric magic of ritual is here again): Today I will be impeccable with my word. I will not take anything personally. I will not make any assumptions, and I am going to do my best.
VI. Trying to be as brief as possible here--ultimately the belief system that was forced upon us, and the inner victim and judge that make us miserable because of this belief system, are like parasites in our brain. The author so beautifully says we should try to see our minds as fields for planting. Different seeds have different requirements--we should prepare our reminds to receive the seeds of love instead of fear. The parasites feed on fear and we can (metaphorically, of course) starve them if we choose.
VII. If this makes as much sense to you as it does to me, then the path forward is simple--start to challenge the agreements that have been forced on you about the way things are. Really deconstruct your beliefs and identify which ones do (and do not) have merit. You can begin a new perception of reality.
In a somewhat pathetic way this book really opened my eyes to something that should have been obvious from the start, and I’ve noticed a positive change in myself since reading it. I also like that the book doesn’t force any religious belief system on the reader--it’s all very secular and anyone can follow Ruiz’ advice regardless of what they believe. I cannot recommend this book enough to just about anyone--it’s that good.