The Shadows of Madness Chapter 1: Wounded Pride
Thick steam filled the room, making the air heavy with moisture. The perfume of roses permeating the air, a comfort that I have longed to experience again, but can no longer bask in due to my vampirism. Where the water once warmed my flesh, now lies empty. It was merely a luxury to remind me of a time now lost as well as a place for me to think.
I tried thinking back to the events that had transpired these past months. The vampires swarming the cities across the providence wreaking havoc, the Dawnguard’s reformation, and the mysterious events at Dimhollow Crypt where I met Sedric. Though I didn’t return to House Ravenwatch in person, I had sent a letter detailing my findings. I knew that the remaining members would understand my reasons for not returning.
However, as much as I tried to decipher the events to better understand, my thoughts kept drifting back to Sedric. I pulled my knees to my chest in thought. Why did our meeting affect me this much? Maybe it was the most recent news I heard? Rumors circulated among the denizens of Skyrim that a great threat had been vanquished and the Vampire raids had ceased. Perhaps I was worried that he was among the Vampires slain? But why am I worried so much? Sedric was just another Vampire, nothing special.
‘Apparently special enough to affect you…’ came a chilling voice, startling me.
“Not again….” I abruptly sat up, scrambling to get out of the bath.
‘Oh, yes,’ it rasped ‘I have returned’ the voice let out a chuckle as a chill suddenly settled in the room.
“Go away!”
‘Why would I do that?’ I felt a presence behind me ‘you seem to be unbothered by the frequent thoughts of that other Vampire… What’s the harm with me coming by to bring you something more to think about?’ The sensation of someone whispering into my ear was enough to give anyone goosebumps.
“I don’t want to hear anything from you!”
‘Well if not me, then how about someone else?’
I flinched. The raspy voice assaulting my psyche became masculine. I knew who it altered it’s form to. I refused to acknowledge it’s presence. But as I stood in front of a mirror, I caught a glimpse. That is all it needed to ensnare me, I had to free myself from it’s torment. But I was paralyzed as soon as I felt the phantom’s touch embrace me from behind like a lover. I felt it’s chilly fingers grasp my chin, almost as if it was forcing me to look at it’s reflection in the mirror.
‘Look at what you did to me! You killed me! It’s your fault!’
In a moment of weakness, I relented and met it’s gaze before regaining my strength to squeeze my eyes shut. The phantom released me from it’s grasp with a hiss, but it’s presence lingered behind me.
‘Poor little Vaesha,’ something touched my shoulder, it was the phantom’s “hand” grabbing it ‘how tormented you must be. Just think how Sedric must have felt when the Dawnguard cut him down,’ the phantom Sedric let out a dark chuckle.
“Please stop!”
‘He’s probably a pile of ash now. How sad, the first Vampire you made a connection to, is dead.’ the sensation on my shoulder grew tighter ‘you bring death to everyone. Your sire, your Ravenwatch friends, and now Sedric. You will be alone forever…’
“GO AWAY!” I screamed, grasping my head “You are wrong about everything! Just go away!” I fought back tears “Go away, go away, go away,”
“Go away…”
***
I found myself on the shore looking at the home of the Volkihar clan looming in the distance, all I remember was needing to get some air after the incident. The chilling wind pulled at my cloak as I stared at the foreboding castle, was the Phantom being truthful? Did Sedric really meet his end by the Dawnguard? Did I lead him to his fate simply by interacting with him?
“No,” I told myself “it can’t be true, the Phantom was just trying to get under my skin,” I let out a sigh and started walking towards the castle.
The rumors of the Dawnguard Raid were true to some extent. As I approached the door, I took notice of the door being ajar, scarred and battered from their battering rams; snow and ice gathered in the entrance, leaving behind snowdrifts. Dread settled in my gut as I traversed the empty halls. I had never been to Castle Volkihar myself, but an uncomfortable silence took the place of the lively chatter that surely filled the halls. The once brightly burning braziers were now extinguished and the grand hall now resembled a tomb rather than a place of gathering. The darkness, coupled with the eerie silence surrounding me was enough to drive anyone mad.
As I eased myself up the stairs within the main hall, I took notice of how thorough the Dawnguard were in their raid, there was no sign that anyone had dwelled here for centuries, minus the cobwebs and musty stench most of the ruins dotting the landscape all share in common.
I didn't know where I was even going. I just wandered aimlessly, searching every room I came across. I just needed answers, a sign that Sedric was still alive. Something to set my mind at ease…
I checked the library, nothing.
I checked what appeared to be an armory, nothing.
I continued to search everywhere, The dungeon where they kept their thralls and a grand chapel that had been converted into a Shrine for the Daedric prince, Molag Bal. I began to lose hope. My last hope was a crumbling corridor across from the mezzanine.
The decaying stone stairs alone showed their age. The damage all around me was done by time, not the Dawnguard. Wherever this corridor lead to, Harkon believed it unimportant to upkeep.
The large doors made a low creak as I pushed them open with my body, just enough to squeeze through, and I was greeted by a vast courtyard; by the dilapidated condition in which the vegetation showed, it hasn’t known the touch of anyone for several centuries.
Wanting to continue my search, I stepped forward. I wasn’t going to rest until I found at least something indicating that Sedric, or just about anyone survived the raid. I needed to put my mind at ease.
Just as I was about to step onto the grass, I was suddenly grabbed and roughly pushed against the exterior wall of the castle, the sound of a metal projectile bouncing off the edge of where I once stood reaching my ears, shattering the ambience of the ruined courtyard. It all happened so fast, that it took me a moment to regain my bearings after being so focused on my task. As I focused on the force that had grabbed me so suddenly, I was welcomed to a familiar sight, it was Sedric!
“Well, this is a surprise,” I said in a voice just above a whisper.
Sedric let out a low groan, mixed with a hiss of pain,
“Now is not the time for your quips,” he let out a pained breath “you were almost reduced to a pile of ash,” he held back another hiss of pain as he freed me from the cage of his arms and took a step back, his free hand moving to cradle his lower abdomen.
I studied him, taking in his disheveled appearance. His hair was mostly loose, a few strands hanging in his face. His clothes looked worse for wear, scuffed, caked in mud, and carrying the subtle stench of old blood. Where he cradled his hand was dark and stained with blood. His blood.
“Sedric…” I managed to say before my senses picked up the familiar shuffling of armor.
“I know you’re there, vampire!” came a feminine voice filled with nothing but malice “come out and face your fate!”
I took a deep breath, slowly closing my eyes as I quickly calmed my nerves. Turning my back to Sedric I made my way towards our mysterious adversary.
“What are you doing?!” Sedric hissed in a pained whisper, “You’re going to get yourself killed!” he slowly dropped to a knee as his strength to stand faltered.
“Buying time,” was all I said as I slipped on an amulet before stepping out into the open, coming into the sight of our adversary.
“Ah, there you are,” the adversary raised her crossbow, aiming towards me “it’s time for you to die, Vampire!”
“Vampire?” I asked, feigning confusion “I do believe you are mistaken, I am merely a scholar,”
“A scholar? Ha! Don’t make me laugh! I know a Vampire when I see one!” her finger hovered over the trigger.
“I’m telling the truth,” I continued my façade “I heard of this place through idle chatter in a tavern, I am here to study the ancient architecture, honest”
“I’m still not convinced, you are obviously lying to save your pathetic hide, Vampire!”
I let out a heavy sigh, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a neatly folded piece of parchment,
“Here are my credentials if you need further proof, I’m here at the behest of my mentor in High Rock,” I held out the parchment.
The Vampire hunter kept her weapon trained on me expertly with one hand as she snatched the parchment out of my waiting hand. Snapping the wax seal deftly with one finger, quickly unfolding the parchment to read it’s contents.
“Besides, if I was a Vampire, wouldn't my features be a dead give away?” I cocked my head to the side as I studied her face “because, according to my studies, Vampires are said to be paler than snow and fiercely glowing eyes, two features I am obviously lacking,”
A grimace appeared on her face, letting out a grunt of frustration, looking up at me, studying me closely, as if trying to find even a flaw in my glamor. Finally she lowered her weapon, stomping her foot hard onto the ground
“By the Divines, fine!” she shoved the letter back towards me, which I carefully took back and tucked back into my pocket “I believe you,” her frustration was still evident in her tone “but if I were you, I would get out of here and not return until you have some guards with you, this castle is still not safe,” she started glancing around the courtyard “a vampire still lurks and it has proven to be difficult to pin down,”
“Oh, I see,” I replied, I turned to leave “well I now understand why you were so adamant on me being one of those monsters,” I let out a soft sigh “I will write to my mentor then, asking for him to send a battlemage my way,”
“Indeed,” her reply was short “now, off you go, and don’t let me catch you here again without an escort citizen”
I gave her a swift bow and she turned away from me, most likely heading back to where she had been lying in wait, keeping my ears trained for movement. I swiftly returned to Sedric who had hidden himself behind a large stone planter.
“Come on, we have to get out of here before she gets suspicious!” I moved to help him to his feet, throwing his arm over my shoulder as I began to guide him back inside.
“Ugh… how did you manage to deceive her?” his voice was weak as he bit back his pain.
“Come now, Princess, I can’t tell you all my secrets now,” Sedric ignored my quip and let out another pained breath “Let’s get you to safety first, then I will tell you, we’re not that far from Solitude,”
***
I managed to get Sedric back to Solitude without issue, by the time we reached the great gates, it was a few hours shy of sunrise. The few guards wandering the street were easy to avoid as we stalked through the shadows towards the house I was lodging at thanks to a kind patron who was willing to let me stay there rent free.
I had given Sedric the master bed and I had tended his wounds, albeit with some protests at my attempts to remove his shirt, his excuse being that it was inappropriate and uncouth for me to do so. Eventually he gave up as he didn’t have the energy to keep throwing his tantrum and he let sleep take him while I went to scrounge him up some blood from my personal stores.
Several hours had passed before Sedric started to stir from his slumber. I glanced at the goblet of blood I had on standby on the end table from the chair I occupied on his bedside. He let out a sleepy groan as his eyes began to flutter, then he finally opened his eyes.
“Good morning sleeping beauty,” I smirked as his eyes met mine “or should I say, good afternoon?”
“Molag’s balls, are you always this annoying?”
“Only to you,” I reached for the waiting goblet and held it out to him “drink this, the Dawnguard really did a number on you, you will need to regain your strength,” he looked hesitant at first “it’s not poisoned if that is what you think,”
Sedric took the goblet from me and swallowed it’s contents with the speed of a ravenous fledgling. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he handed it back to me.
“I know, it’s not much,” I sighed as I rose from my seat “I’m sure this is like crumbs compared to what you were accustomed to back at the castle,”
“It will suffice,” was all he said before he tried to sit up.
“Don’t you even think about it!” I snapped, turning my gaze on him “you are still in the process of healing! I don’t care if you’re much older than me, you will lay back down like a good little boy and wait until your strength returns!”
Sedric frowned, looking at me with what appeared to be a pout, but he complied to my command and laid back down with a heavy sigh.
“Good boy,” I returned to my seat, watching his figure has he stared at the bedside candle that was hanging on to life by a thread.
“How were you able to trick that Dawnguard soldier?” he asked after several moments in silence. I met his gaze, then glanced down to my amulet. I brushed my fingers along it’s underside, gently lifting it with my index finger.
“With the help of my sire,” I replied “this amulet was his, it’s enchanted to help enhance the camouflage of the vampires of the Cyrodilic strain,” I looked up at him “As I’m sure you know, as long as they have recently fed, they can blend in seamlessly with society, even walk around in the sun without feeling it’s negative effects,” I released my amulet “but only if you keep up on your feedings, and as I’m sure you’re also aware of, keeping up on a consistent feeding is hard if you want to remain hidden from suspicion,”
“I am assuming the reason you have it and not your own unique one is because he was slain?”
“You could say that…” I looked away “but I rather move on from this subject and ask you a few questions,”
“Very well,” Sedric seemed to know that it was unwise to press the matter and ignored my unwillingness to continue speaking of my sire.
“Now then…” I leaned forward “who or what put you in such a frenzy back when we met in Dimhollow,”
Sedric closed his eyes and let out a deep breath,
“Her name is Serana,” he glanced back to the candle just as it’s life came to a close, the bedroom growing dimmer “she was the daughter of Lord Harkon, and she turned on him and brought the Dawnguard right to our doorstep,”