#seeking critique

[mildlymortified]

need opinions on which color palette to use, shes a huntress/assassin and her appearance is meant to be deceiving to her character shes also meant to be a bosmer from the elder scrolls

[lovebytz]

Pass 1 of my Sailor Moon redesigns! These are all for arc one (the Dark Kingdom arc) Would love some critique :-)

[lovebytz]

Here's pass 2 of my Sailor Moon redesigns!

There are all for Act One before Usagi awakens as the moon princess. I'd love questions or critique! Tysm ♡

[gloamscribe]

Working on my writing style - UPDATE!

Lemme get this out of my system first: LDLKEJHJNREKTJHERLK

Okay. SO. I've been spending the last few days working on changing up my writing style to be a bit more sophisticated and more in-line with how I process things. I settled on a three-pronged approach:

a "visceral" style for most of a story's events (Focuses on how someone processes things from a biological lens; Look up Robert Bolaño if you don't know what I'm talking about)

Deep POV for thoughts (so it blends with the narration; think Edgar Allen Poe for this one)

Purplish prose for memories/dreams (Didn't lean into it very strongly here since I'm saving more ornate prose for whenever Sunny uses his Quirk)

So I'm letting you guys decide! Which version is better: Version 1 or Version 2? :D (Please read them before voting! lol Snippets are under the cut!)

Which version is better?

Version 1

Version 2

Button go brrrr

Voting ended onJan 27

VERSION 1 (399 words)

April

“Sunny, you’re going to be late! Change and come get your breakfast, honey!”

Footsteps pounded on tile as Sunny raced out of his room, already dressed in his gray and teal UA uniform. An hour earlier than usual, just to rush through brushing his teeth, brushing his hair, and showering. All Might’s declaration still rang in his ears.

“That is why you, Suzuki-kun…have earned your place at UA High!”

The entire video replayed in his head on repeat. Halfway down the hallway, Sunny mentally went over what he needed to bring with him and ran back to his room to grab them.

Backpack, check. Books, check. Papers, check. Phone, check.

With his backpack on his back, Sunny ran to the dining table and plopped himself down. From inside his backpack, his phone blew up with notifications; over the past month, word had spread like wildfire all over Faraway Town that Sunny had passed the entrance exam. Since then, he hadn’t heard the end of it. Even now, the memory of how loud Kel yelled when he found out made Sunny smile. He was tempted to dig out his phone and silence it, but his stomach growled in protest. Like a starving man, Sunny shoveled eggs and toast in his mouth as he kept an eye on the clock.

His mom laughed, delighted to see him eating. It was rare to see Sunny this excited about anything. “Slow down, honey! You don’t want to choke!”

Sunny looked up from his eggs to see his mom hovering by the window, checking the street every few seconds. When he was halfway through his eggs, she finally gasped.

“Oh! Sunny! The bus is here!”

Sunny hastily wiped his mouth with a paper towel, while simultaneously trying to swallow down all the food in his mouth. He ran for the door, but his mom stopped him one more time.

“Sunny, wait!”

Sunny furrowed his brows and looked back at her, hand gripping the door handle.

His mom smiled softly. “I’m so proud of you, sweetie. I…just wanted to say that before you left.”

Sunny smiled a rare, full smile and stared at the floor. “…Thanks, Mom.”

He walked back, hugged her as tight as he could, and his mom hugged him back just as hard. The door quietly clicked as he left the apartment.

For the first time in five years.

. ~ * ~ .

VERSION 2 (644 Words)

April

An hour before sunrise, footsteps pounded on cold tile as Sunny raced out of his room. In minutes, the bathroom became a tempest of steam, menthol-y shampoo, and lavender-scented soap, heat and artificial scents mingling into a heady concoction that caused his mind to drift. All Might’s booming declaration cleaved his consciousness in two.

“That is why you, Suzuki-kun…have earned your place at UA High!”

One hand wiped steam off the bathroom mirror, feeling the cool glass ghost over his skin. The other had already grabbed a suction cup—a smooth silicone lump that had no idea the tragedy its existence pointed to.

A year on, the steps were second nature: Wash your hands. Wet the shell. Stick the suction cup on. Hold the eyelids open. Stick the prosthetic in your eye. Make sure it doesn’t pinch anything. All that to look “normal.” Sunny wasn’t “normal,” but the prosthetic kept people from asking too many questions.

After aggressively rubbing a plush towel all over him, Sunny trudged into his room to get dressed.

A heavy sigh escaped him as he felt the dress shirt’s fabric run over his damp skin as if it were sandpaper. He shuddered at the feeling, scratching at his neck where the tag stabbed his skin. Note to self: cut it off ASAP. His fingers slid over the tie's cool, smooth satin, both appreciating the texture and dreading wearing what amounted to a fancy noose around his neck. On school picture days as a child, ties conveniently 'vanished’ into the ether, despite Sunny's parents both making sure he left the house with one. Mari swore she had no idea where said tie had gone, crossing her fingers behind her back while Sunny fought the urge to laugh. One year, Kel took Sunny's unwanted tie, wrapped it around his head, and ran all over the school, yelling Rambo lines.

Sunny tossed it over his shoulder, letting it slide off his bed and onto the floor in a heap of satin. No tie.

“Sunny, you’re going to be late! Come get your breakfast, honey!”

His uniform on and his backpack in hand, Sunny ran to the dining table and plopped himself into a chair. In his backpack, his phone buzzed with notifications; over the past month, word spread like wildfire all over Faraway Town that Sunny had passed UA High’s entrance exam. He considered digging out his phone and silencing it; his stomach growled in protest. As though he were a starving man, Sunny shoveled eggs and toast in his mouth as he eyed the clock.

On his blind side, his mom laughed. “Slow down, honey! You don’t want to choke!”

Sunny raised his head. His mom hovering by the window, checking the street far below them every few seconds. No doubt waiting for the bus. Halfway through his breakfast, she gasped. He found her faced pressed against the glass, a wide silence on her face.

“Oh! Sunny! The bus is here!”

Sunny hastily wiped his mouth with a paper towel and ran to the door.

Backpack, check. Books, check. Papers, check. Phone, check.

“Sunny, wait!”

Sunny furrowed his brows, hand gripping the cold, metal door handle in a white knuckle grip.

His mom smiled as she played with a lock of smooth, curly hair. “I’m so proud of you, sweetie. I…just wanted to say that before you left.”

Sunny smiled a rare, full smile as his eyes drifted to the floor. “…Thanks, Mom.”

He released the door handle and hugged her as tight as his thin arms allowed, his mom chuckling as she hugged him back just as hard. He groaned when she tried to smooth the perpetual cowlick in his hair; once she was satisfied, Sunny’s mom bopped him on the head and weakly pushed him out the door.

It was the first time in five years.

. ~ * ~ .

[firebird963]

(Psst, I have enough of my stuff written that I’m able to have people critique my early work)

It is a Nutcracker adaptation in the same way American Mcgees Alice is an adaptation of Alice in Wonderland/through the looking glass or Fallout 3 is a sequel to Fallouts 1 and 2

So no, you don’t have to read the original to understand what’s going on

It focuses a lot on mental health issues, specifically trauma and learning to heal from trauma

Please note that the writing is meant to be translated into a graphic novel format

So yeah, anyone, and I do mean anyone willing to look at my stuff and just tell me if it’s a complete mess or not is greatly appreciated. I do have main editors who are the best and have seen way more of my stuff. But I want to get other peoples opinions in there, especially people I haven’t been constantly bothering with Worldbuilding ideas and where the story is going to go. So, like, I want more fresh eyes basically

[the-art-lizard]

So uh, could I ask you guys for something?

It there anything I need to improve on in my art? Like, I know I don’t have much stuff posted on here, but I would really like some critique on what I do have on here.

[perfectcrithits-blog]

Ideology of Lazer Team

The following is an application of four basic concepts of ideology on Rooster Teeth’s recent feature-length film Lazer Team.

Earlier this year, popular YouTube channel and video production company Rooster Teeth released its first feature length film Lazer Team. Despite the channel’s 8.6 million subscribers, the movie received poor reviews, rated at a score of 42 on Metacritic. However, rather than being a Hollywood-quality movie, the film serves a different purpose: Presenting an ideology that small or mid-sized companies and the producers of user-generated content can create products of a quality that can reach the silver screen. By applying the four questions of ideology as suggested by Brummett, one can understand what exactly this ideology is that Lazer Team presents, what audience the ideology is directed towards, and who benefits from such a line of thought.

First, it is important to understand the call-to-action presented by the film. Specifically, Lazer Team wishes to persuade its viewers that this type of content is worth supporting. The film is part of YouTube’s recently released service YouTube Red, which allows users to pay a monthly fee to see exclusive content from certain channels. Lazer Team was one of the first pieces of content exclusive to YouTube Red, and was initially used is currently one of the main methods of advertisement for the service. This film acts as a standard for this exclusive content, giving its audience a point from which to understand what sort of perks they would obtain by subscribing for the service. In this way, the movie acts as a metonymy for higher-level YouTube content, this specific movie acting as a representation for the rest of the content that is and will be provided on YouTube Red. The movie seeks to instill an ideal that such content requires the additional funding from the paid service to maintain that quality in future content. As such, the network of values that are conveyed by the film are as follows: YouTube content producers can release quality content, but such content often requires a higher budget than is afforded by a YouTube paygrade on its own. By paying the extra monthly fee for YouTube Red, these channels will have the added funds necessary to release such large scale productions, the quality of which will be worth the buy-in price.

However, in order for this ideology to be communicated, the audience must bring certain beliefs with them into their watching of the movie. The main belief that must be held by the audience, considering that the movie is trying to sell subscriptions to YouTube Red, is that YouTube content creators are people worth paying extra money to watch. Not everyone finds user-generated content such as Rooster Teeth’s work to be of the same quality as television or movies, so many might not find the subscription to be worth the increased quality of that content. However, media consumers have been shifting more towards internet content as of late, so the idea of smaller-scale productions sharing the enjoyability of creations with larger production values is becoming more widespread. These viewers often enjoy the familiarity that comes with a small-scale production, as well as the audience interaction that it often allows. For those that share these beliefs, being able to have higher-quality content with these familiar, sociable producers would most likely be worth the money.

Lazer Team leads its audience to these conclusions through the quality of the movie itself, as well as the casting of the characters. In order to show the quality of content that can be expected of a service, the best evidence is the content itself. All users of YouTube get a month of the service for free, during which time they can view content such as Lazer Team to gauge the quality of what will come to the service in the future. Just as stated before, this allows Lazer Team to act as a metonymy for the entirety of the content on YouTube Red. In a similar way, the actors and writers for the movie represent the content creators of YouTube, and how they remain mostly the same to how they create their original, smaller-scale content. The writing, subject matter, and sense of humor in the movie, although not popular for the movie-watching public at-large, are the same type of content featured in their normal YouTube videos, offering up a sense of familiarity to fans of the channel. This sense of familiarity acts as a standard of what can be expected of other channels if they receive the same funding, allowing these actors to act as metonymy for all YouTube content creators planning to produce content for the subscription service.

For any ideology, some parties benefit and others suffer from it. For this particular ideology, supporting more direct monetary funding for content creators, the main beneficiary are the content creators themselves, especially Rooster Teeth. They receive more money for the content they create, while being afforded the ability to create projects that would have otherwise been impossible for them. Additionally, YouTube itself profits from the thought process, as it receives a portion of the money from each subscription payment, as well as added viewership from those that are paying. However, while these channels often have large follower-bases, ranging up into the millions, not every subscriber has the money to spare to pay for a subscription. Additionally, some of these individuals do not support YouTube’s current business decisions, so they do not want to pay for subscriptions either. These parties ultimately suffer from the new subscription system, as they are restricted from content produced by their favorite creators.

By providing a high standard of quality for future content, Lazer Team persuades existing fans of Rooster Teeth’s content to pay money in return for higher quality content from the channel. By targeting a viewer base with ideologies valuing humor and practices similar to their own, Rooster Teeth is able to add other values onto their intricate web of ideologies, such as the value of higher-level content and the desire to produce such content. In a way, this is very similar to the tactics used in marketing and advertising, and serves a very similar purpose. The movie has not been out for very long, and YouTube Red as a service is relatively young, so it is unclear whether these methods of instilling ideologies have been successful, and if so, to what degree.

[perfectcrithits-blog]

Colbert on Immigration Laws: Playing a Character Ironically

The following is an analysis of Colbert’s opening address to Congress at a congressional hearing about immigration legislation.

The rhetorical practice of irony can applied in many ways and to different degrees, from simply making a statement opposite of one’s message to playing a whole character with literal and intended meanings at odds. For his opening address to Congress, Stephen Colbert uses the latter, playing the part of a supporter of anti-immigration ideas in order to highlight fallacies in those ideas. While these ironic criticisms of such opinions are effective in the truths and fallacies that they shed light on, the specific combination of person, place, and audience create some flaws within the argument.

Through the utilization of irony, Stephen Colbert was able to call into question the arguments that support closing off immigration and allowing less migrant workers into the US. Colbert starts his address with the same statements. He emphasizes that he is an American, and that Americans should have American things, not foreigners or things made by foreigners (in this case, foods picked by immigrants). In this persona, Colbert believes that the food of the US should be picked by American labor workers rather than migrant workers. However, he also believes that the menial work required to be a labor worker is unpleasant, and that he wishes to never do it. This comparison of statements outlines the same contradiction present in many conservative viewpoints: Although migrant workers are taking up jobs that American citizens could be taking, the jobs are unpleasant, and the working conditions are so poor that Americans would not take them anyway. This use of irony calls to mind two lines of thought. The first draws questions about the conservative side of the argument, such as “What jobs are immigrants really taking?” and “What jobs are Americans actually willing to take?” On the other hand, it brings up the problems of the migrant workers who are causing the supposed ‘problem’ such as, “Are migrant workers being compensated enough for the intense, tiring labor they perform?” and “Are there ways to improve the working conditions of such jobs enough for them to appeal to unemployed American workers?” These are questions that are otherwise not focused on in such discussions, but that effective applications of ironic discourse can bring out.

For all of the truths that a well-orchestrated use of irony can reveal, irony in itself cannot institute any sort of change. If Colbert were to stay in character throughout his whole address, he would be able to further point out the flaws in thinking of anti-immigration supporters and would be able to make a call to reconsider the values that are associated with immigration, but he would be unable to make any actual suggestion to fix those problems and flawed reasoning. Colbert knew this, and as such, he broke out of his ironic line of reasoning when it came time to make suggestions. His suggestions for future actions (offering more visas to immigrants, improving working conditions on farmlands, making manual labor and farm work more appetizing for Americans) were delivered without irony, and without the same tone of voice. Although he still keeps a little bit of humor peppered throughout, his words are more genuine. 

However, although Colbert’s choice of presenting his arguments is fraught with drawbacks. The main drawback of this argument is in the character that Colbert plays in order to make this ironic argument. This character, still named Stephen Colbert, is a heavily conservative and patriotic individual, yet he is also highly unintelligent. This is the same character that he plays when reporting the news on his show The Colbert Report, which is easy to tell since he uses the same cadence, tone of voice, and joke delivery in this opening address as he uses on his show. However, the joke delivery in particular is what makes this choice ill-suited for the setting of a congressional hearing. The Colbert Report is a show on a comedy network, Comedy Central, so humor can take the front seat and act as the vehicle that delivers the political messages and the news that Stephen Colbert regularly presents on his show. On the other hand, a congressional hearing is a place for more serious discourse, and although humor can bring a change of pace that can call attention to one’s argument, discussions that let humor take precedence over the message trying to be communicated asks for some level of backlash. In fact, Colbert did receive backlash for the way he presented his points, both during the hearing, from his congressional audience, and after the fact during press coverage. This meant that, although Colbert had solid ideas to put forth, and his arguments had merit within the discussion, the part of his address that was highlighted was the delivery of the message rather than the message itself.

Overall, for all of the ideas that Colbert’s address brought to the table of immigration and foreign worker legislation, the argument could have been made in a much better fashion. The way that he presented his ideas would have been much more suited to television or his own show. However, he still had experiences that were fairly uncommon at the time, so he still had the ethos to make the same argument in a way that was just as compelling, if not more so. His combination of celebrity with firsthand experience would have given his argument and his viewpoint more validity were he to present his ideas more seriously. However, since he decided to present his address with comedy, said comedy overshadowed his intended, more serious message.