The inspiration for this was what I, and possibly others, have experienced during childhood :3
You were Dottore’s only daughter, his one non-clone, non-experimental, actually-human child. Usually Iota, Beta, and even Dottore himself took care of you whenever they were free, but the Doctor had decided it would be a good idea to let the other segments learn how to care for you as well so you could grow accustomed to them.
It was a terrible idea.
Theta, Delta, and Omega had taken 'looking after the child' as their sacred secondary directive. They treated it like field research. They were very bad at field research when said field was how to parent a six-year-old girl without causing permanent psychological damage.
Iota mostly watched from the doorways, making sure the trio assigned to you hadn’t accidentally killed you in the process. Though he had originally been against the whole arrangement of having to take care of you, especially since he was the first to babysit you. Over time he had grown fond of you, so fond that he would poison anyone who dared make you cry. He always stayed in the background, quietly ensuring your safety.
Now it was time to see how well the three segments would perform today.
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The bedroom door banged open at precisely 7:00 a.m.
''Subject is stirring!'' Theta announced with a grin as he walked inside your room. He was already wearing mismatched socks and a lab coat he had stolen from Sigma.
Delta walked in behind him, scrolling through a tablet and looking over the list of chores. ''You’re going to give her nightmares before breakfast. Again.'' he muttered.
Omega simply stood in the doorway, arms crossed as he looked you over. ''Pulse and respiration appear normal. We may proceed.'' he stated calmly.
They surrounded the bed like it was a crime scene.
Theta yanked the blanket off you with the enthusiasm of someone unveiling a new invention. He leaned over your bed, red eyes staring into yours. ''Good morning, little variable. Did you achieve optimal REM cycles?'' he asked brightly.
You blinked sleepily up at the three identical yet very different blue-haired men and nodded at the question.
Delta could only sigh in exasperation. ''She’s not a variable, idiot. She’s a kid. Say ‘good morning’ like a normal person would.'' he grumbled.
''I am saying good morning like an exceptional person.'' Theta retorted with a grin, which made you giggle in response.
From the hallway came Dottore’s low, tired voice. ''If any of you make her cry before coffee, I will reformat your memory banks tonight.'' he warned.
The segments froze.
''He’s bluffing...'' Theta whispered to the other two.
''He reformatted me last month for eating the last croissant. He’s not bluffing.'' Delta muttered under his breath.
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They decided to make pancakes for breakfast since you had requested them.
Theta dumped glowing blue batter into the pan. ''I added extra electrolytes for brain development!'' he declared proudly.
It immediately started smoking and sparking.
Omega grabbed a fire extinguisher. ''I told you not to add anything else to the batter. I literally told you thirty seconds ago. I even said the recipe to you.'' he said flatly.
Delta calmly poured milk over the flaming pan like he was conducting an experiment. The milk also caught fire.
You watched wide-eyed from your booster seat as the three men moved around the kitchen.
Omega let out a sigh as he watched Theta and Delta bicker. He told the two to stand in the corner as he rolled his sleeves up his arms. ''Stand back. I shall prepare a nutritionally optimized meal.'' he announced.
He ended up making oatmeal. Plain oatmeal. With a single sad strawberry on top for visual stimulation.
You stared at it with furrowed brows. This is definitely not the pancakes you asked for.
Theta ate a spoonful of the oatmeal and fell to the floor, dramatically twitching and gagging. ''The horror… the blandness… eugh.'' he wailed theatrically.
You took a small spoonful of the oatmeal before pushing the bowl away from you, clearly not liking how bland and flavorless it was. Delta added a bit too much of honey and more fruits that had been chopped with surgical precision.
''There. Now it has… character,'' he said, satisfied.
Beta appeared in the doorway, already holding a clean mixing bowl. Without a word he took over, silently remixing pancake batter that wasn’t poisoned or bland. Two minutes later there were normal, golden pancakes on your plate.
The segments stared in betrayed silence as they watched you happily eat the food.
''Show off…'' Theta whispered as he gave Beta a small glare.
-----------
Hygiene protocol began.
Omega lifted you onto the step stool. Delta held the giant hourglass timer. Theta brandished the toothbrush like a sword.
''Open wide for maximum plaque annihilation!'' Theta exclaimed.
He went in hard. Really hard. The brush head practically jackhammered your molars. Foam exploded out the sides of your mouth like a rabid raccoon.
You gagged.
Delta immediately grabbed Theta’s wrist. ''You’re going to make her throw up..'' he warned.
''I’m being thorough!'' Theta protested, still brushing.
Omega tried to take over with clinical detachment. He brushed in perfect circles at approximately… 400 RPM. Your cheeks puffed out from the pressure.
You made a small, distressed “mmph!”
Iota appeared behind them like a ghost. He plucked the toothbrush from Omega’s hand mid-stroke.
''Enough." he ordered.
He knelt, tilted your chin gently, and brushed with the slow, careful strokes of someone who actually understood human mouths were not machinery.
When he finished he wiped your chin with his sleeve and murmured, ''There. No permanent trauma.''
Theta pouted. ''We were only at 87% plaque removal efficiency…''
''You were almost brushing her tongue off, idiot!'' Iota hissed in reply.
Omega handed you a cup of water to gurgle and spit out the rest of the toothpaste while he glanced at the others. ''We’re all going to get reported to the Tsaritsa for child endangerment via dental hygiene if we keep this up.'' he observed dryly.
----------
This routine was the part the segments were proudest of. It was also the part that made you quietly consider running away to Natlan.
You sat on a stool in front of the mirror. All three of them crowded around like it was a group surgery.
Theta started brushing your hair. He hit every single knot like he was tenderizing meat. You could only hiss in pain as he continued.
Delta tried next. ''Hold still. I watched someone do this while I was out in town.'' he said confidently. He yanked so hard your head snapped back.
Omega attempted symmetry. He pulled the left pigtail so tight your eye watered, then did the exact same thing to the right. Both sides were now painfully high and lopsided. One bow was upside down. The other was somehow knotted into itself.
You looked in the mirror and saw a girl who appeared to have lost a fight with a wind spirit.
The segments stepped back proudly.
''Iconic.'' Theta declared, hands on his hips.
''It’s… avant-garde.'' Delta stated.
''Statistically, only 14% of children enjoy symmetrical hairstyles anyway.'' Omega hummed thoughtfully.
Beta passed by the doorway, only to walk back and stare wide-eyed at the mess the trio had made. The segment could only shake his head as he walked over to lend his assistance.
He sat you on the vanity, undid the entire disaster in thirty seconds flat, then braided two perfect, soft, even pigtails. He added little blue ribbons that Dottore definitely didn’t buy he definitely did.
''Better.'' Beta said with a small smile.
The segments could only glare at Beta from behind.
----------
And now it was time to dress you up.
Theta wanted maximum frills.
Delta wanted something nice, which somehow meant putting you in the same outfit he has on that was way too big on you.
Omega insisted on practicality and thermal regulation, which meant layering you in so many shirts you looked like a marshmallow.
They compromised by force.
You ended up in a frilly dress with an oversized jacket over your shoulders. Your neck was wrapped with three scarves and your feet wore snow boots despite being indoors.
Dottore walked in, took one look, and started peeling each layer of clothing off you like he was defusing a bomb.
Five minutes later you were in a simple dress, soft leggings, and one correctly-sized scarf.
He didn’t even comment. He just patted your head once and left.
''He’s showing off too…'' Theta whispered.
----------
They attempted to teach you lessons throughout the rest of the day. Theta demonstrated 'safe' chemical reactions that were definitely not safe. Delta taught you how to use a scalpel and how much pressure was needed to cut through skin. Omega tried to explain advanced calculus using finger puppets.
By evening, all four of you were exhausted.
Omega carried you to bed. Delta and Theta trailed behind like ducklings.
Tucking you in was an event. They pulled the blankets so tight you could barely move. For thermal efficiency and security, as they said.
Dottore appeared in the doorway, walked over, and gently pried their hands away to loosen the blankets and tuck them properly around you. He sat on the edge of your bed as he turned to glare at the three.
The segments hovered like scolded puppies, avoiding their creator’s gaze.
You glanced over at the segments and reached out for all of them. Dottore watched your actions and sighed as he gave a nod to the trio.
The segments piled in carefully. Theta curled up like a cat beside you, earning a glare from Dottore to which he ignored. Omega pretended to read on the chair beside your bed but was really watching over you. Delta took the spot at the foot of your bed, making himself comfortable.
Once you were all settled, Dottore read you a chapter from an old Fontaine fairy tale book. His voice was low, calm, almost gentle, lulling you to sleep. When your eyes started to droop, he leaned down and pressed the lightest kiss to your forehead.
''Sleep well, little one. May your dreams be kind tonight..'' he murmured as he stood up and gave the segments a long look that said ‘protect her or be scrapped’ before leaving the room.
You fell asleep to the sound of quiet bickering and hissing from the segments as they argued about the optimal number of goodnight kisses they should give you and where they should be placed. They eventually settled on:
Omega kissing your hand once.
Delta kissing your temple once.
Theta kissing your cheek, forehead, and nose three times each. He had to be pulled back by Delta and Omega because he might disturb your sleep.
''You guys are rude. Let me show the little variable my affection. You both are just jealous that I might get the best segment title from her.'' Theta quietly cackled in response to the glares Delta and Omega were giving him.
