power of words: exception
Meme: The Power of WordsWord: ExceptionType: Self-Para
I can’t cry. It’s not a matter of ‘wont’. I can’t. I don’t force myself into it. I don’t fight back the tears or ‘suck it up, Buttercup’. It’s not even a matter of pride. The closest I get is when I laugh too hard or I’m so exhausted that my eyes water. I don’t know how it works, or why. The worst I feel is physical exhaustion and physical draining. But I never cry. Ever.
Except.
Mother!
“This is stupid.”
“Quiet, Bess!”
“Some of use are trying to watch!”
Mother!
“A movie about dinosaurs should have more fi-”
“Shh!”
Huffing, Bess crossed her arms, pouting at the screen. She had only promised to watch because The Professor had told her there were dinosaurs in it. An actual cartoon movie about dinosaurs. Needless to say, Bess had gotten her hopes up. What could she say? She was six and gullible.
It hadn’t been nearly as action packed as she had hoped.
Mother? Where are you?
And now she was stuck watching some lost pint-sized Apatosaurus, sorry.. ‘Longneck’, search for his mother. Real tear jerker, right? Rolling her eyes, Bess lent her elbow against the arm of the couch, ignoring her two sisters to the left of her. Bella was in the middle, of course. It meant she was closer to both sisters. Becca for comfort and Bess for protection. It wasn’t even sad. And still she found a way to be overly enthralled with the movie. Urg, gag me.
Mother!
Great, he found her. Moving out of her lax position, Bess crossed her arms, attempting to send ‘I hate this’ vibes to her sisters. If they noticed, neither acknowledged it.
So Bess reluctantly watched the ‘Longneck’ mother drapped over rock as her son approached her.
Mother? Please get up.
I’m.. not sure I can, Littlefoot.
Yes you can. Get up.
To her left, Bess heard a small squeak escape Bella. Glancing across, Bess frowned at the blonde. What a baby. Bess gave a loud groan, though it only earned a louder squeak in what Bess could only guess was her way to tell her to ‘be quiet’.
To be fair, Bess thought the mother would get up.
As the mother fell again, Bess pressed back deeper into the couch, uncomfortable with what was unfolding.
Dear sweet Littlefoot do you remember the way to The Great Valley?
Bess’ frown deepened. He shouldn’t have to know.
I guess so. But why do I have to know? You’re going to be with me.
It hit. Like a fist to the gut. Knocked the air out of her and left her with a stupid lump in her throat. The realization that she was going to die. Just leave him. Like that.
I’ll be with you.
No. No you wont. Don’t lie to him.
Even if you can’t see me.
What do you mean even if I can’t see you? I can always see you.
You’re so stupid!
Bella’s crying was driving her insane, the girl clenching a pillow to her chest. God, why did everything have to be a drama? They got on fine without their mother! He would too!
Bess could feel her face heating up, slow deliberate breaths, because breathing without thought seemed shaken.
Littlefoot. Let your heart guide you.
Screw you. You’re leaving him.
It whispers.
You’re leaving him alone you stupid dinosaur! His heart can’t protect him!
So listen closely.
Mother? Mother?
Something hot streaked down her face, the sudden sensation shocking her. Reaching up, Bess harshly wiped away the tear with the heel of her hand. She hadn’t even realized it had happened.
Panicking, Bess spared her sisters a glance. Bella was pressed into Becca’s side clearly distraught. Neither were paying her mind. Pushing herself up, Bess shot out of the room, shouting a quick ‘this is stupid!’ as she went.
Breaking into a run, Bess climbed the stairs and was in their shared room in an instant. This was stupid. So so stupid. This was different. Bess didn’t even know her mother. What was there to be sad about? Losing her? She had never had her to begin with. So why the tears?
Collapsing on the bed, Bess stared at the ceiling, fresh tears still building. It made no sense. So why...
Rolling over, Bess dug underneath her side of the bed, pushing the cluster of toys and rubbish out of the way to drag out a green blanket. This was it. The only thing she had. Bella had Octi. Becca had their mother’s hair. And Bess.. Bess had this.
The only shred of proof she had a mother. One that would have loved her.
“You should have been there.”
She wasn’t even sure who she was talking to. The stupid dinosaur who had left her son to die, or her.
Exhausted, Bess cradled the blanket to her chest, eyes squeezed shut as she forced herself to sleep. She didn’t want to feel this anymore..
...
“Bess?”
Groaning, Bess lifted her head off the pillow, blinking at the intruder. How long she had been asleep, she didn’t know, but her head felt heavy and her nose was blocked. God, crying was gross even after you finished.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She had meant for it to come off as aggressive, though half asleep, it hardly sounded the part. “Are you still cryin’ about the movie?”
Bella bowed her head slightly shuffling on the spot. “I-.. there was this dinosaur called Ducky. And.. and I found out the girl who played her was killed.. by.. by-”
Scooting over, Bess didn’t need to voice her offer. Bella had crawled into the bed as soon as Bess moved. Wrapping her arms around her sister, she ignored the new wave of tears staining her shirt, her own long dried.
“We’re never watching that movie again.”
