#selfed

[ashishkumarletslearn]

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[somethingpositive4positivepeople]

SPFPP 235: Needs

There’s a difference between having needs and being needy. Asking for what you need is often also synonymous with begging, and no one wants to be a beggar, so in that, no one wants to ask others for what they need. This episode offers an opportunity to reframe how we view having needs, as well as folks’ reactions to us asking for what we need. I think neediness is synonymous with “begging” in the traditional sense of the word. In neediness, we are trying to get our needs met from others without directly asking for them to meet our needs. Having needs is just an observation.

How people choose to respond to our needs request is not a rejection or reflection of us, but a reflection of their boundaries. We may be uncomfortable with asking for what we need because we’re so comfortable meeting the needs of others. So let’s practice asking for what we need where it feels safe to do so, or we can practice with high stakes like going to someone who’s historically let you down and then directly making a request from them with no attachment to whether they comply or say no.

Here I share some moments where I expected to feel rejected after requesting my needs to be met by people, only to actually feel an alleviation of expectations. Let’s start being intentional about identifying our needs and then asking for them to be met before we can start covertly ask people to meet them through manipulation and neediness.

Mark your calendars for July 21 at 6:30pm Pacific USA Standard time for a virtual event introducing SPFPP community members to sex positivity/sex positive world! Updates, a podcast episode, and RSVP info will follow in upcoming social media posts and podcast episodes.

[somethingpositive4positivepeople]

Herpes education advocacy reconnected me to triggers, or challenge points in my life that my diagnosis reminded me of. With the professional help of a licensed mental health professional, I was able to challenge the feeling of being triggered by chasing the line of energy to the root cause of the feeling. This let me look at not only the trigger, but the event that perhaps installed the trigger... the triggOR of you will... Doing “the work” is finding myself so that I can heal. Healing looks like healthy identity expression through self exploration & discovery. I never once thought to look back on the intense life events I experienced until something hit that impacted me on the surface where I was paying most attention. The creation of #somethingpositiveforpositivepeople has unconsciously served as a healing space for me but that ain’t fair to y’all so I had to figure out something else for me to do that other than #spfpp The evolution “out there” had to get sparked for me to have the evolution “in here” . . . an involution if you will. #selfed (at St. Louis, Missouri) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNn2o65B-Tk/?igshid=1bh5mz3pqyscp

[oneideaforjustice]

Get educated, know my rights, and pray.

Susie