#selfmythologize

[0hw3llw0rld]

love theory with @selfmythologize

she's staring at the cards on the table that she pulled. and now, eunwoo isn't supersticious, but she definitely sees a very well laid out picture on the table. she's never been one read to believe in the supernatural or.. whatever you would call this, but someone had told eunwoo it would be funny and that is exactly how she ended up at a random patch of grass with yua..

now tell her, why was the fool, the devil, the lovers and the tower staring right at her. she thinks this is a recipe for disaster to say the least but its only a gut feelinga and some pretty pictures speaking nonsense. yet she keeps her words to herself as she waits for yua to tell her something, anything really, but the silence stretches and eunwoo is itching with this uncomfortable feeling under her skin that she has to shift in her seat, pulling her knees up to her chest. she's watching the other closely, brow raised in anticipation, but there is the continous silence following so she breaks it.

"so… how much can you tell me that i can't decypher from this." she asks, waves vaguely at the cards, before her fingers find a strand of hair and start twisting it, slowly and steadily.

she doesn't want to think what she thinks this is, or who else might be involved really, something somewhere should tell her its all fine and she can actually just enjoy her life. but yeah, eunwoo isn't spiritual but the pictures that are staring back at her definitely paint a picture as bright as dayligt and she hates she puts pieces together.

[memoriesblur]

alcohol and apologies summary: sato yua ( @selfmythologize ) and olivia song (possibly) work through their declining friendship at the nuri hall after party.

why did she let herself get roped into going to this party.

okay, scratch that, maybe olivia should be nicer to herself.

with some of the other capella girls asking her to come to the nuri hall party with her, it would be a bit rude to say no, right? she joined the organization in hopes of socializing more anyway, she should try to spend less time rearranging the budget and more time actually talking to the other members.

though she’s not sure how much socializing she’s done when she’s mostly be standing against the wall of whatever dorm they’re in, with a cup of absolute liquid courage: water. she is the life of the party.

spending most of the time looking down at her phone, and at most making polite conversation with the people who come up for a few minutes, olivia was about ready to pack it up so she could lay down in her own comfortable bed.

at least, she was, until she caught a glimpse of someone who was far too familiar walking past.

yua.

they were still friends, right? somewhat… at least to a degree. they spoke through messages all the time, but she can’t even remember the last time they saw each other in person… though that was mostly her own fault. she was the one with the schedule filled 24/7 by her own choice, the one who couldn't make time for anything outside assignments and leadership duties.

she elbows through the flood of partygoers, wadding by to make her way to yua. she shouts her name once, and if that doesn’t get her attention, she manages to tap her shoulder to get her to turn around.

“… hey.” the tiny smile on her face is awkward. she doesn’t even know what to say; what do you say to someone you’ve only spoken to through fucking dms for the past semester?

“i wasn’t expecting you to be… here.” 

she lives in this building, why would she not be here? stupid. 

her body feels stiff just getting the words out. the way she links her own hands together tightly, her thumb rubbing an anxious path against the other hand, it's not even fair to say it betrays her because she already looks like an uncomfortable mess.

[terminalisms]

one eye open erina and selena @selfmythologize

there's no way she's not too old for this.

a girl may not look the part, but she sure as hell can feel it. deep, deep in her bones, with the skull-splitting boom of the bass, and the growing ache of her feet. strapped and stranded in red bottoms at the epicenter of a party, exhaustion follows by a wave of exasperation—not at the humbling reality of having nowhere else to be tonight but here, but at how her path’s been blocked off by a couple slowgrinding to justin bieber (which...where does someone even begin to unpack that? do you even dare to go there? anyway—)

to her credit, she thought she'd last maybe 10 minutes before calling it quits. 15, at most. it's been a whopping 30 so far, which warrants a pat on the back at bare minimum, and stiff drink bestowed with the utmost generosity. cheers! to her resilience. to being a trooper. to not caving to the impulse of shoving these assholes to the ground already. but she's close—so close—until a good samaritan takes one for the team to unceremoniously elbow them out the way.

heels double for sky high stilts as they delicately step over many a stain and sticky spillage of god-knows-what on the blue hall floors, vodka shot in hand. a searching gaze sizes up the first empty spot to be seen and it's an immediate beeline to the end of a windowseat.

there's zero regard to the person next to her as erina plops down, willing away the reflex to kick off the shoes the very second her weight sinks into the cushion. looks down at the drink in her hand like she just remembered she'd brought it along at all and knocks it back. 80 proof straight burns hot then cold with the force of a firehose, followed by...a stale gummy bear. just the one. she chews at it. gets a burst of cough medicine and instant regret. how nice.

[harpstring]

do you wish you were closer to your brother, or are you content with the relationship you have?

"i think...somehow both at once? i'm content with the relationship we have, but i'd also like to be closer?" he's not sure it makes sense, or if it's a contradiction. he does wish he and hyo had more time together growing up. maybe he shouldn't wish he chose to leave with him and travel with their parents by his side when they were younger. after all, he wouldn't be himself without his experiences, and the way his grandparents influenced him. but what if he doesn't like who that is? who would he be if he made different choices? would he be happier? more confident? and would he and his brother feel like real brothers? there's some awkwardness between them. too often, jiyul wonders if hyo still resents him for staying with his grandparents instead of going with him. would it be enough if he knew how much jiyul regretted it? does he know already? he has a lot of questions that he should probably just ask, but he's afraid of the answers he might get. how sad is it to be afraid of judgment from your own twin brother? aren't they supposed to have each other's backs no matter what? them against the world, or something. that's how it always seems in the movies, and shows, and books. sometimes he wonders if there is something broken about them. "i think...if i had to choose one, though, i would like to be closer," he decides. "there's something a little...sad about us now. but i don't really know why. maybe because it feels like in another life things could've been different."

[neutralcha0tic]

rule breaker with @selfmythologize

jules has been avoiding all of remedy like her life depended on it. for various reasons, but mainly because their leader could be quite close and she couldn't handle that. so, she stays away and avoids all of them, including the ones she would consider close. plus, she liked the remedy boys, she is quite close to a few of them, but when push comes to shove, she would take that step back if it meant she could have some peace of mind.. however much that some is, when you worked with them in the same building. yet, she never keeps to her rule at 100%, because rules are boring and she breaks a lot of them either way. why should she keep at her own, right?

so when she sees daon in the company cafe, she is quick to join him, even without a drink in hand. "daon!" she's bright, and loud, like always, smile wide on her lips as she pulls the chair across from him out, "can i join you?" she asks, waits for the greenlight before she sits down. it's always fun around daon, how can she not go bother him? well, spend a few minutes with him before getting herself her fourth coffee of the day and heading back on her marry way to the dance studios.