This week I finished reading “Stop Saying You’re Fine: The No-BS Guide to Getting What You Want” by life coach Mel Robbins. I discovered Mel Robbins last year when I discovered her TED Talk on you tube and I highly recommend her to anyone that is looking to change their lives. This book is mainly about how our brains are the biggest saboteurs for what getting what we want out of life and this book helps us overcome the obstacles that the internal chicken or jerk places between us and our goals. The first chapter, “Stop Hitting the Snooze Button”, hits the nail on the head. Paired with the insight from Hal Elrod’s “The Miracle Morning” (another worthwhile read), this is very powerful. I am one that hits the snooze button mainly because I don’t want to get up and go to work, but I had an epithany that the couple of hours before going to work are my favourite time of day and a perfect opportunity for personal and professional development as well as some writing. I shouldn’t be hitting the snooze button as the only thing it is preventing is the personal time that I have for ME!
I follow Elrod’s Miracle Morning routine, Life S.A.V.E.R.S. (silence (mediation), affirmations (currently working through Jack Canfield’s “Success Affirmations”, which I recommend to anyone looking for a starting point for affirmation work), visualization, exercise, reading and scribing (journaling)). Some times this is all I have time for (probably because I’ve hit the snooze button at least once), but I always make sure I take even 15 minutes to do it (most of this time is spent reading and journaling). It is a great morning when I manage to get out of bed by 6am because then I have time left over to tune into CIR Live and blog or work on other writing. Not alway easy when in a play and rehearsals go to 10pm the night before, I’m on set until late or my evening routine is late (journaling and then a hot bath with a book) - the past two weeks have been a bit harsh in that regards. In truth, I would love to get up even earlier and make it to the YMCA for an early morning class - kudos to those that do! Perhaps that should be goal for my health and fitness.
A recurring theme throughout Robbins’ book is to give yourself just 5 seconds to make a decision and not hesitate (I am sure this is more elaborated on in her book “The 5 Second Rule” - I haven’t read it yet). Procastination is another thing I am guilty of - I’ve been putting off acting classes for a while now, the main reason being lack of funds. I also keep putting off putting together my demo reel (lack of time and accessible material) and new headshots (time and money!) Excuses, excuses!
The book goes on to discuss how one should admit to what they want, rather than just feeling fine and gives ways in how to outsmart the brain in order to follow through with goals and improve life. Robbins uses lots of real life examples from her radio call-in show to illustrate her points - I particularly liked the aspiring actress who had always chickened out of auditions - I know a lot of people like this and am glad that I am over that hurdle. Auditions are intimidating and the hardest part of the job due to an understandable fear of rejection.
The book goes on to discuss going public with goals. Understandably this is easier said than done as some of the Negative Nellies out there will relish telling you how ridiculous your goal or dream is - been there, done that! The trick is to go public to people who are supportive and take any negativity with a grain of salt (some people would like you to remain “just fine”, because they are “just fine”). There is also a chapter on mapping goals and breaking them down into bite-sized chunks or stepping stones, something I need to work on. It also discusses surrounding oneself with people who you would like to be like as we become like our family and friends. Easier said than done, however good to be aware of these things.
Despite reading this book which is supposed to help me strive towards my goals, last week I turned down an extra day on set due to a conflict with the day job. It turns out it wouldn’t have been a conflict after all so I have been beating myself up about it since, but there was no way of really knowing at the time I had to make the decision. Ultimately it was about picking the right battle to win the war in the long run. There were moments when I thought to myself “what the hell I am doing?” and “who I am to I think I can do this?” That perhaps I should just settle and accept things the way that they are; that I am doing too much and it will end in tears. My inner chicken and jerk were very vocal at times last week despite the fact that I made progress on my goals - I did two more days on set and I got my IATSE Permittee login information for stage crew work. Back on track now though.
This is why books such as ”Stop Saying You’re Fine” are so valuable for people like me. Recommended reading and you can also find out more about Mel Robbins at melrobbins.com.
