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PAIN & PLEASURE

In the dimly lit corners of human history, where whispers of forbidden desires and untamed curiosities intertwine, lies a tantalizing secret: pain and pleasure are but two sides of the same coin.

Is that really true? Well maybe, if there’s any way to judge that it would be taking a look at BDSM and its rich history that dates back to much before the 19th century…as far back as 3000 BCE.

As we embark on this seductive exploration, we'll unravel the delicate threads that bind these primal sensations, revealing how ancient civilizations and modern science alike have danced to the rhythm of their intoxicating embrace.

Prepare to be captivated and maybe even surprised, as we delve into the enigmatic world where ecstasy meets agony (´ρ`)!

During early civilizations (possibly dating back to 3000 BCE) there are records of BDSM/SM like practices amongst several groups with the purpose of reaching altered states of being for enlightenment, visions, or pleasure. From monks, to indigenous peoples, and even aristocracy, pushing our limits has never been a foreign concept. Just not a widely discussed one.

The self-flagellation of 10th century monks who would do whip themselves in a masochistic frenzy achieved intense endorphin release – as do all masochists – and perceived the states caused by the internal experience of their own body’s natural opiates as “holy visions.”

During the ninth century BC, ritual flagellations were performed in Artemis Orthia, one of the most important religious areas of ancient Sparta, where the Cult of Orthia, a pre olympic religion, was practiced. Here ritual flagellation called diamastigosis took place, in which young adolescent men were whipped in a ceremony overseen by the priestess. These are referred to by a number of ancient authors, including Pausanius.

One of the oldest graphical proofs of sadomasochistic activities is found in the Etruscan Tomb of the Whipping near Tarquinia, which dates to the fifth century BC. Inside the tomb there is fresco which portrays two men who flagellate a woman with a cane and a hand during an erotic situation. see photo below

In Pompeii, a Whipstress figure with wings is depicted on the wall of the Villa of Mysteries, as part of an initiation of a young woman into the Mysteries. Nomis notes that the Whipstress role drove the sacred initiation of ceremonial death and rebirth.see photo below

The Kama Sutra of India describes four different kinds of hitting during lovemaking, the allowed regions of the human body to target and different kinds of joyful “cries of pain” practiced by bottoms. The collection of historic texts related to sensuous experiences explicitly emphasizes that impact play, biting and pinching during sexual activities should only be performed consensually since only some women consider such behavior to be joyful. (If you’ve never heard of the Kama Sutra I highly recommend it!)

There are also anecdotal reports of people willingly being bound or whipped, as a prelude to or substitute for sex, during the 14th century. The medieval phenomenon of courtly love in all of its slavish devotion and ambivalence has been suggested by some writers to be a precursor of BDSM. Some sources claim that BDSM as a distinct form of sexual behavior originated at the beginning of the 18th century when Western civilization began medically and legally categorizing sexual behavior.

Our ancestors were practicing (and vividly recording) pleasure and pain rituals long before BDSM was coined. I continually go back to BDSM as it is the most popular way of understanding pain and pleasure within this research (without it I found more articles about chronic pain and opioid addiction).

If those who came before us found that pain could lead to pleasure how then could we say they are different?? Well obviously they are different, two very different sensations at different intensities can turn a pleasurable experience to a painful one and vice versa. It doesn’t take a scientist to explain that much. However pain and pleasure are intricately linked to one another. Without one would we genuinely be able to experience the other?

Philosopher Herbert Nichols wrote this in response to a similar question:

It is dificult to conceive what life would be if pleasure and pain were stricken out. If we go down into biology we find pleasure and pain to be the mainsprings of action. And if we go upward into human asthetics and ethics, into the motives of individuals and of society, and into the inspirations and faiths of religion, we but more deeply realize at every step the importance of our subject. Pleasure and pain are not the whole of life; but leave them out, and life and the universe no longer have meaning. Nearly all the greatest thinkers from the beginning of philosophy have grappled with the subject, yet we are inclined to believe that, from the first, no subject has been more profoundly misunderstood. Whatever the standpoint, whether philosophical or physiological, upon one point only, perhaps, has there always been substantially universal agreement; namely, that pleasure and pain are in some way direct and complementary expressions of the general welfare of the individual.

Sure, they aren’t the same thing BUT they are forever intertwined to be experienced together regardless of the time between both experiences. Like experiencing night and then the subsequent day!

So our ancestors who practiced what could be seen as the precursor to SM (later BDSM) were very much like us in their thinking, “one cannot exist without the other”. Pain and pleasure, day and night, sun and moon, life and death, giver and receiver.

So what exactly is this power play that we see that our rowdy ancestors so poetically brought about? SM/BDSM today looks different but very similar to its earliest iterations. The “modern man” studied these practices and the terms sadism and masochism were first coined by Richard von Krafft-Ebing (1840–1902) in his extensive work Psychopathia Sexualis, published in 1886. Sigmund Freud (1856–1939) subsequently brought together the two concepts to form sad-omasochism. Noticing that a person could experience pleasure from both receiving and inflicting pain, Freud drew the conclusion that sadism and masochism were two sides of the same coin. Who doesn’t love when Freud comes around!

Anyways, BDSM stands for 'bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism', and the acronym has largely replaced the earlier term 'sadomasochism' in today’s vernacular.

But why is it so enjoyably delicious!? We can define if and break it down into its smallest part thanks to men 😒(I could find very little women’s accounts on this matter but I’ll touch on that more later).

To answer the above question , pain quite literally brings us in touch with our immediate sensory experience of the world, allowing for the possibility that pleasures can become more pleasant and more intense.

We like what makes us feel good and we like exploring that state of mind wherever it may lead us. Who knows maybe exploring and taking our pleasure to new levels might be for the better of everyone. I know just researching it does a lot for my mental and more importantly my spiritual sense of fulfillment.

You make think I sound silly, it’s okay you can be honest with me. But because I want to prove my point read on about this (possibly biased) Dutch study that proves exploring your pleasure can quite literally improve your mental health.

In Wismeijer and van Assen’s study from the Netherlands, 902 BDSM practitioners scored significantly higher than matched controls of 434 persons on several measures associated with psychological health. The authors commented that BDSM should be understood in terms of recreational activity rather than as a form of psychopathology. Ranging from exploration of the spiritual to the therapeutic, research by Beckmann (Citation 2001a), Taylor and Ussher (Citation 2001b) and Barker, Iantaffi, and Gupta (Citation 2007c) reported positive psychological outcomes for participants engaging in BDSM.

A: Beckmann, A . 2001. “Deconstructing Myths: The Social Construction of ‘Sadomasochism’ versus ‘Subjugated Knowledges’ of Practitioners of Consensual ‘SM’.” Journal of Criminal Justice and Popular Culture 8 (2): 66–95.

B: Taylor, G. , and J. Ussher. 2001. “Making Sense of S&M: A Discourse Analytic Account.” Sexualities 4 (3): 293–314. doi: 10.1177/136346001004003002.

C Barker, M. , A. Iantaffi , and C. Gupta. 2007. “Kinky Clients, Kinky Counselling? The Challenges and Potentials of BDSM.” In Feeling Queer or Queer Feelings: Counselling and Sexual Cultures, edited by L. Moon , 106–124. London: Routledge.

If one study that took place in the early 2000s doesn’t convince you I don’t know what will!

Pain and pleasure, SM/BDSM, have always been ways to reach a new or at the very least a heightened state of mind for centuries. As my humanity teacher always quoted, Past is Prologue. We may not have strayed very far from our earliest desires and fantasies but we hold onto something that makes us all very human. There is a balance within us all that determines joy and pleasure and none of us are too far away from experiencing these emotions every single day (whether it’s your goal or not) pain and pleasure are much the same as life and death in that you cannot have one without the other. Did that sound sad for some reason??? Hmm how about this:

In the dance of life, pain and pleasure entwine like lovers, each amplifies the beauty of the other in a passionate embrace