#sent letter

[anything-advice-blog]

Submission

My brother and I used to be close growing up. In fact, I only have positive memories of him. But for some reason, he stopped talking to me. I always felt bad thinking it was something I did/said, so I wrote him a letter asking him what I could do to fix things but he never gave any type of response back and still doesn’t speak to me unless he absolutely needs to. I really miss how things used to between us. What can I do?

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Hey, hun. I am so sorry for your situation. How frustrating. As I started reading, I thought letter, but you already did that. And, you don’t know if he opened it or read it. If you try again with a post card where all he has to do is flip it over to see who it is from and there are big letters saying “Just tell me what I did! I miss you!” Then you’ll know at least that he knows you are clueless.  Primarily, if you don’t know what he is upset over you can’t address it. Is there a mutual friend you two have you can call? One of his friends or another family member? All you’re looking for is an answer to what he thinks you did. It would be such a shame if he is offended over something you didn’t even do and you two will lose years over this. Do you think it would be too bold to knock on his door or catch as he gets home?

Another idea is to write a timeline. This  is used often to jog memories. Start with an event before he became upset. Then write dates and events....little things too like conversations. Sometimes our eyes open to a correlation of events and a light bulb comes on. For example, I always thought my mom started drinking when her best friend died. With a timeline I realized it was when my sister got pregnant in high school. This explained why their closeness stopped and my mom blamed her for a lot for years. Shame.

I wish there was more I could suggest. I’m sure you’ve thought of so much on your own. Unfortunately, at some point, when you’ve tried everything, you’ll have to let go. We all know we can control other people’s behavior so you’ll have to start to get over it for your own peace of mind. You can start by changing the language in your head to thing like, “he’ll come to his senses soon.” and “I can’t do anything but accept it”.

Good luck.

Tracey

[mor-beck-more-problems]

My dearest Rupert,

I wish I knew what words to summon to bring you comfort or solace. You have raised one of the greatest champions in the history of the Slayer line and she will return to you, in time. Don't allow yourself to doubt that. But is that assurance what you are after?

All may not be well in the end, I have witnessed too much human suffering to blindly invest in that platitude, but I do still believe that all will be well someday, if only for a time. Even if for a fleeting moment. Not, perhaps, unlike the sensation waking up in the arms of one's beloved on a cool morning only to realize that one must take their leave of them because there is work to be done. It may not be much, but it should be enough to carry us on until we are gifted with the next moment and so on.But I cannot truly be certain that assurances of the larger way of the world is what you are after either.

What I am certain of is that we chose this fight with some knowledge of its relentlessness, however misplaced or over-idealized it may have been at first. I am certain that this does not detract from the weight or the significance of what we do. I am certain, even, that there is hope. You were brought into my embrace then to death's door and back again, you rise each morning to serve as a guide and touchstone to those around you, you have lived long, well, and richly without losing a shred of trust in the human race and those you care about. How could I possibly look upon all this and not feel that hope is blossoming in favor of us somewhere?

Would that I could give you my eyes so that you might see this too. Would that I were with you now, that I might do away with these dreadful words and try to ease whatever strange, pensive expression is on your face as you settle in for the night with a touch instead.

But as I cannot grant these things by the sheer force of my will, I ask that you keep this scribbling in rememberance of my devotion and faith in both you and our cause if it has done you the slightest good. And if it hasn't, treasure the attached parcel in a similar fashion: a 1954 printing of Henry V. The colour of the binding, at least, is your favorite, my Hal.

Ever yours,

Penelope Fairfax