The popular Victorian image of the ideal wife/woman came to be "the Angel in the House"; she was expected to be devoted and submissive to her husband. The Angel was passive and powerless, meek, charming, graceful, sympathetic, self-sacrificing, pious, and above all--pure. The phrase "Angel in the House" comes from the title of an immensely popular poem by Coventry Patmore, in which he holds his angel-wife up as a model for all women.
Believing that his wife Emily was the perfect Victorian wife, he wrote "The Angel in the House" about her (originally published in 1854, revised through 1862). Though it did not receive much attention when it was first published in 1854, it became increasingly popular through the rest of the nineteenth century and continued to be influential into the twentieth century. For Virginia Woolf, the repressive ideal of women represented by the Angel in the House was still so potent that she wrote, in 1931, "Killing the Angel in the House was part of the occupation of a woman writer."
The following excerpt will give you a sense of the ideal woman and the male-female relationship presented by Patmore's poem:
Man must be pleased; but him to please
Is woman's pleasure; down the gulf
Of his condoled necessities
She casts her best, she flings herself.
How often flings for nought, and yokes
Her heart to an icicle or whim,
Whose each impatient word provokes
Another, not from her, but him;
While she, too gentle even to force
His penitence by kind replies,
Waits by, expecting his remorse,
With pardon in her pitying eyes;
And if he once, by shame oppress'd,
A comfortable word confers,
She leans and weeps against his breast,
And seems to think the sin was hers;
Or any eye to see her charms,
At any time, she's still his wife,
Dearly devoted to his arms;
She loves with love that cannot tire;
And when, ah woe, she loves alone,
Through passionate duty love springs higher,
As grass grows taller round a stone.
Initially this ideal primarily expressed the values of the middle classes. However, Queen Victoria's devoting herself to her husband Prince Albert and to a domestic life encouraged the ideal to spread throughout nineteenth century society.
A renewed interest in Patmore's poem has come about in the past half a century which stems largely from interests in the various aspects of Victorian lifestyles. The poem is often studied primarily for its unadulterated and in depth look at the common life of middle class lifestyles in Victorian England. It is considered more valuable among scholars for its historical relevance and its detailed accounts of gendered separations than it is for its literary value.
Its detailed accounts stem from Patmore's belief that the routine machinations of everyday life are prime subject for the illuminations of the poet. Every day routines and interactions of man and woman are things to be elucidated through verse. Due to his close accounts and evaluations, the role of woman in the poem exemplifies the Victorian theory of Separate spheres. This ideology asserts that women and men are naturally predisposed to excel in a specific realm of society or culture. Women were regarded as being given to aspects of the private or domestic sphere which generally entailed caring for the house and children, while men were made for the public sphere which makes it appropriate for them to leave the home for work and civic obligations.
Specifically in recent decades, the study of the poem has increased among feminine studies in opposition to the assertion of these spheres. Rather than studying the poem for its depiction of the woman's lifestyle, it is studied to examine the masculine writer's prejudices, his view of these feminine roles and why men held women to these roles. Following the publication of Patmore's poem, the term angel in the house came to be used in reference to women who embodied the Victorian feminine ideal: a wife and mother who was selflessly devoted to her children and submissive to her husband. The term then evolved into a more derogatory assessment of antiquated roles with critiques from popular feminist writers like Virginia Woolf.
