#sept 2025

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[cereovo]

pocket sketchbook #9 [Apr 2025 - Sept 2025]

[eggymints]

[writingwithcolor]

Lebanese absent father - unfortunate MOC stereotypes?

@sumflowerd asked:

Hello, I, a mixed (Lebanese/white) woman, am writing a short story about a mixed (Lebanese/White) girl living in the southern USA with her (white, Christian) mother who runs away to search for her (Lebanese, Christian) father. It turns out he abandoned her mother while she was pregnant because he already had a fiancée and wanted nothing to do with her. I was wondering if having the father be the non-white parent would be falling into unfortunate stereotypes about men of color in interracial relationships and as parents, and if I should just switch the parents' identities or just make them both white and remove that issue altogether? Thank you for your time.

Is having the Lebanese father of a mixed girl abandon her white mother while pregnant falling into unfortunate stereotypes about men of color?

On theme and author's intention

Hi! I think it comes down to your intent as the author.

What themes are you exploring in this short story?

Parental estrangement?

The mixed race/bicultural experience in America?

Learning culture from a place of diaspora?

Exploring fantasy v. reality (through the idea of dad, v. dad in real life?)

You very well might want all of these, but their priority in terms of which theme earns your interest and takes artistic precedence over the others is all up to you. Switching even two themes in terms of importance can wildly affect the outcome of the story’s execution. There’s no wrong answer, only what interests you. Not every story is about race or ethnicity, but when it’s on screen or the page - it should be intentional, because it will have an impact on the reader.  

Things to consider

So, consider and explore: What would the story be like if the mother was Lebanese (In this context - whatever that may mean to you: Pheonecian/Arab/light or dark skinned) and the father was white, switching it up? If both parents were white? Lebanese (again, Lebanese encompasses a broad range of identities within it - so take this as you will) ? Is there a strong ethnic/religious/racial exploration or element? Do you want (or intend) there to be? If you feel comfortable speaking on religion rather than race, you could make the father Maronite and the mother Druze, or vice versa. If you’re looking for differences - there are a lot to choose from.

SWANA/MENA (Southwest Asian/North African; Middle Eastern/North African) identities are often overlooked or reduced to “white” in the non SWANA/MENA American public perception. In 2024, NY Times did a great piece about the complexities of the middle eastern identity in America, where the conflation of many SWANA/MENA identities as white passing leaves a lot to be explored and understood.

If that were a focus of the theme of this reunion, then in a sense - there may be something symbolic about the Lebanese father being missing - a hole where her understanding of that side of her culture should be.

The missing Lebanese father would serve a different purpose within the story, compared to celebrating the potential Lebanese culture of a mother that stayed. 

Depth vs. flat stereotypes

Remember that stereotypes are often superficial things. We talked about this with the Latino-in-manual-labor-trope - if the manual labor is short hand for ‘uneducated unimportant Latino side character’ sure, it’s bad. If the manual labor of a Latino parent is contextualized as part of a story on the theme of parenthood and immigration, and it ends with the mechanic father celebrating his daughter's college graduation, saying her success is the answer to his dream, and his greatest pride - then… that’s not so one dimensional, right? Less stereotypical. More holistic. Both examples are using the same ‘stereotype.’

So, this really comes down to: What do you intend? Why? And does it best serve the story as you wish to tell it?

~ Melanie 🌻  

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DARREN CRISS - John Cassavetes' "Opening Night" concert at Town Hall in New York City | September 15, 2025 | 📷 Nicole Wilson

[mothric]

cauliflower has no business looking as insane as it does when it tastes like nothing. you put all your effort into being a fractal and what do you have to show for it

[d-criss-news]

aswift8: Darren Criss was phenomenal in concert tonight. Full review to come. But now, enjoy Hopelessly Devoted to You, from Grease.

[fuentesclips]

America First Ep. 1565 | 17/09/25

nick reacts to nandace officially being his most popular tag on ao3