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♬ …O'er the land of bigotry, and the home of the inane! ♬

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To all six people who will ever bother reading this; sorry about the lacklustre Gnostober this year.... Just kind-of a lot going on with little motivation to social media. Also; if you're an United Statesian, please go vote against Fascism, ty.

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Update FYI

9/22/16:

*not dead yet* :p

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GoT 6x09 - Battle of the Bastards

Review - Spoilers Incoming The penultimate chapter this season keyed in on two locations seeing large-scale battles; Winterfell and Meereen. While it was clear which of these was the main attraction, I'm going to go out on a bit of a controversial limb here and say that it was the B-side story which held more pleasant surprises. Let's start there. First off, a quick nitpick; when Dany returned in the previous episode, the sky was dark. Here, when we first pick up with Tyrion delivering his defensive pitch to her, it looks like it's midday. Continuity error? Or did the siege start in the early morning hours? Just seemed a bit jarring and odd to me. Such nitpicks aside, though, this was the best stuff we've seen from both Daenerys and her flying triplets since arguably ever. She was in top form, demonstrating ferocity and resolve while also seemingly better recognizing good counsel when she hears it. There was a particularly tense moment - when Tyrion likened her to her father - where I was seriously wondering if we were about to see the official birth of The Mad Queen, or otherwise Tyrion would be compelled to follow his brother's example to prevent as much. In reality, things turned out much better than expected. It seems that 'Leesi really does have some level of mental/magical/telepathic link to her dragons, which allowed her to wordlessly call Drogon to her side, right on cue, so they could promptly proceed with fucking the slaver navy to fiery pieces. And in terms of politics, public perception? I think Tyrion spelled it out well. Meereen (provided the siege didn't incur insurmountable losses) should stand as a strong example, both to inspire Daenerys' potential allies and those she fights for, and to terrify those who would stand against her, or attempt to betray her. On that front, it seems she may have already started making enemies in Westeros by backing Yara. On the other hand, Euron was obviously an ill-fit for her from the moment he first mentioned her, and I'm sure no one was expecting a guy with that kind of attitude to successfully woo/seduce Dany at this juncture. And of course, if Euron was already eager to kill his brother's kids before, well... Now, on to the titular A-side. While I think this was, in certain ways, the best portrayal of a battle like this the show has ever done, there were a few beats along the way which I felt were just a bit too predictable, and they were some of the bigger ones. We'll knock those out first. While still sad, I think the deaths of both Rikkon and Wun-Wun were really less surprising/shocking than they were meant to be. They both felt almost inevitable, both in manner and timing. The last-second arrival of Baelish and the Vale forces also seemed somewhat predictable, but on the other hand, I must give credit to the suspense in the moments preceding it. It also segues us into what will probably be a stickier conflict; what will Littlefinger do with the leverage and credit this has doubtlessly earned him? Jon Snow was great throughout the episode, but particularly in his moments facing off with Ramsay. The Bolton bastard-former was often a compelling, nerve-wracking villain, and even when he was pressed against the wall, it was still the case here. Of course, it was good to see him finally receive some measure of justice, and be prevented from enacting any further atrocities. Sansa's final speech to him was also fairly satisfying. But, as a fan, there's a little bit of lament when a memorable villain gets theirs, even when it's a relief. The action was often very frenetic, but shot and choreographed very well. The end result was really showcasing the chaos and madness that lies in the heat of such violent engagements. I also have to admit; the show kind of psyched me out there for a few, when Jon fell. Again, a cinematically effective portrayal, this time of being trampled. Not that I've been in that position myself thankfully, but to me it really conveyed the fear and powerlessness of that situation well. And how ironic would that have been? Jon gets stabbed by treacherous followers the first time, then suffocated by loyal ones the second. Still, glad it didn't come to that. Also; both Davos *and* Tormund survived? AND they had some legit bonding? Can't complain about that either. 9.7/10

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GoT 6x08 - No One

Review - Spoilers to Come

Well, those Clegane boys got busy quick this week, but surprisingly it was Ungregor conducting the more justified bloodshed (by some vague margin, anyway). I say so because, as it turned out, the real trio of culprits who were drawing Sandor’s ire were also acting against the *real* Brotherhood’s will, and were about to be dealt with accordingly by the time The Hound caught up with them.

So, it seems that he went and axe’d four guys who were just in the neighborhood at the wrong time. Seems like the kind of thing that might come back to bite him later. But hey, good to see Thoros and Berric again, still kicking’ it for the little guy and a version of the R'hllor faith which apparently isn’t as big on inflicting tortuous deaths. Cool.

Also cool was the Siege of Riverrun (which played out to completion here), with the major exception being the cliche, hamfisted, straight-up illogical send-off of the Blackfish. Why the hell was it suddenly necessary for Brienne and Podrick to escape in secret? And I get Blackfish being too proud and stubborn to be taken alive, but THAT scene? Ugh…

Quick note of respect to Tobias Menzies though. I didn’t expect Edmure to be a standout this week, mostly due to how little had been done with the character so far in the show, but he was the best part of this episode to me. He was pitch-perfect with the bitterness and contempt he showed for his Lannister captor.

Speaking of which, we saw Jaime given the most substantial moral/philosophical challenge he’s had in some time, if ever. His response frankly shocked me a bit, but on the other hand, I have a way of looking at it which I’d like to think is reasoned interpretation and not fan-ish dissonance (he is my #8 right now after all).

Basically, I think he was presenting a truthful bluff. He was honest in stating that his primary concern, above any moral judgments, is his love for Cersei (ugh). On the other hand, I don’t believe that he would actually have gone so far as he claimed, to have Edmure’s infant son catapulted into the castle for instance. I think Jaime’s actually got a similar issue in common with The Hound; they’re both so used to condemnation and ridicule that not only have they both internalized said judgments, but at times even fulfilled them (at least, when there was some other impetus to do so). Jaime’s misdeeds can’t be totally written off, but I do think that he is becoming - very gradually - more morally conscious as time goes on.

Finally, we saw more conflict resolution in the land of Braavos, and although I *am* glad to see Arya progress beyond that particular chapter of her story, this was certainly not among the most satisfying conclusions to a subplot we’ve seen.

To break it down a bit, let me just start off with this nobody they called The Waif. First, she had to be - hands down - the biggest amateur in the House of Black and White. If not, their reputation is overblown. Second - and idk if this is a fault with the acting, the directing, or both - but BITCH THIS IS NOT TERMINATOR 3. YOUR CHARACTER IS NOT A ROBOT (er…android, w/e). The first and only time I can remember that a performance on this show actually made me cringe.

And lastly, WHY was it remotely a good idea for Arya to fucking tell Not-Jaqen exactly where they might find her, should they ever want to kill her again? I guess they might have surmised on their own easily enough that she’d go to Westeros. She might have known they’d be satisfied with the Waif’s face in place of her own, or maybe she was just being an arrogant kid, idk. Just felt forced, for the sake of a couple of those lines getting uttered IMO.

The possibilty crossed my mind that Not-Jaqen actually knew that this was basically the Many-Faced-God’s will all along, or that it was meant as a test for The Waif (which she clearly failed, most crucially by ignoring the mandate to ‘not let her suffer’), but the evidence for that is almost too subtle compared to how on-the-nose they’ve been with so much else of late.

6.7/10

(Don’t get me wrong; this is still the only show on air which I enjoy enough to bother reviewing).

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I'm planning to do a little write-up of my top ten favorite GoT characters here soon, but first a few quick things; 1.) I'll only be choosing from the characters currently living (as of season six, episode seven "The Broken Man") 2.) Also excluded from consideration are those who don't have traditional speaking roles (dragons, dire wolves, the Night's King, etc) 3.) I'll probably post in two parts, but there may also be some hiccups due to using mobile (ugh). 4.) The ratings will be subjective and not exhaustively explained (so don't b mad).

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GoT 6x07 - The Broken Man

Review - Spoilers

An episode filled with diplomacy and - apropos to the title - broken men.

Oh, and hype. Hype too.

Who was that bloke with the scars anyway? Looked strangely familiar…

Anyway, a fair chunk of the episode revolved around The Stark Northern Alliance Tour Extravaganza 2016 feat. Ser Davos Seaworth, and although they weren’t exactly hitting all the best regional venues, they hit a few high notes along the way. I was pleasantly surprised by how entertaining the young lady Lyanna Mormont was. The “punch line” of the scene was particularly good because it helped underscore how their endeavor’s rewards could not be expected to always be in proportion to it’s demand of their effort.

And Sansa’s letter - clutch or colossal fuck-up? It’s almost guaranteed to be one or the other, but I think I’m with her in thinking that their final march to Winterfell is being made a bit hastily (or so it seems, from how briskly it all plays out here).

Meanwhile, over in Braavos, the other Stark girl gets herself straight up shanked in the streets by a sweet old lady. And she DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT COMIN’!

And right when she was acting like a boss and chartering her escape voyage, too… Hope there’s a maester hiding behind that roc- er… street corner.

Also happening was Margaery playing the game by going in deep, and the start of the great Siege of Riverrun, which actually did set up pretty well this week.

All in all, not one of the flashier or more intense episodes, but a good one nevertheless. I could nitpick a few things here and there, but the overall feeling is that of a solid entry.

8.7/10

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GoT 6x06 - Blood of My Blood

Review - Spoilers ‘low

A flawed episode, but still managed to move things along plot-wise.

First, this episode was very uncle-centric. We had two uncles make “surprise” returns, while a third - the Blackfish - did not yet return but still managed to be a hot topic of conversation in a few corners of Westeros.

However, as I said, this one felt quite flawed and uncharacteristically clunky at many junctures throughout.

I have to say that, aside from the semi-confrontation with Big Daddy Tarly toward the end of it, Sam’s story this week just felt too underwhelming and insignificant to spend time on. The other bright spot, though; they seem to be moving on already with one of the last known Valerian steel swords, no less. Though, I think it’s fairly obvious that dear old Pa-Pa won’t be letting that slide.

On another track that did fortunately go somewhere but arguably took longer than needed getting there, we saw Arya finally give up the notion of becoming nameless and faceless. It’s good that she was able to see it for herself, but going about it that way was clearly not ideal. Likely her upcoming face-off with the Waif will be their last. But if Arya does win, will the Faceless Men simply cut their losses, or will she have to spend the rest of her days on the run from their order?

So, that brings us around to some of the more questionable stuff. WTF was with King’s Landing? You might say that the High Sparrow had anticipated the Tyrrell showing, never intending to really go through with the walk, but the scene didn’t really read that way well at all, especially where Margaery was concerned. And how about the fact that, following the *big twist* NOT ONE PERSON MENTIONS LORAS. Like “ooohhh we just got schooled, damn them, they politically out-maneuvered us! Oh well lol, let’s go home.”

And Jaime’s whole 'reassignment’ could’ve really used a few of those minutes spent meeting Sam’s utterly unremarkable sister earlier. Felt very rushed and sloppy compared to how Season 1 or 2 would have probably handled it.

But how about the end scene? Dany literally walks around the damn corner, and a few awkward minutes of waiting around later comes flying in on Drogon?! Did I fucking see that right? I mean, it was actually cool, until I saw that she was riding him. Then it just became WTF.

And her speech… (paraphrasing) “I want you to tear down their stone homes!” …What. You’re telling me she’s just buying this bullshit about being a conquerer wholesale? Is this really where her arc’s been leading her? I don’t see it at all.

Now, what should have been a truly epic moment for me; the return of Benjen.

I’ve been anticipating it since he disappeared to begin with, practically, and though I am glad that he’s finally back, his return was just so much less epic than it could have been.

Primarily the problem is that it was established that there was a veritable legion of wights on their ass, not to mention the remaining WWs. You have Bran say, “they’ve found us”. Okay. But what happens then? Benjen, at a fairly casual pace, proceeds to kill about four stray wights and that’s it. They’ve escaped.

What was worse was the next scene with the group; they’re sitting around talking.

Bran: who ARE you? Benjen: sigh, I guess it’s time to dramatically reveal my TRUE identity!

Sorry, it just felt cliche, forced, and relatively weak for this show. They should have sped up the pace of his entrance and dispatching of the wights, and had Bran see who it was once he pulled up to them. He could express his surprise, with Benjen hastening them due to their predicament, and then pick up with them just as they did, with him going into his story. IMO, a simple alteration which would’ve been a lot better.

But he’s like… Half man, half white walker? Or was the magic used on him like an updated version which allows him to keep his free will and junk?

5.6/10 Wasn’t terrible, but far from great.