So...I don’t know if anybody even cares but for people out there who have been following along and would want an update or if anybody is going through something similar right now and this post helps them or could help somebody in the future, I have a little life update, Tumblr friends. And I’m still processing so apologies if this post is long and a little rambling.
As most of you probably know, in mid July I started my first “real” job (not counting service industry jobs I had while I was in school and for a year and a bit after graduating) after graduating college in spring 2017 as an Administrative Assistant at a media production company that also had its own nonprofit organization, after being unemployed for about 10 months prior to starting that job this past July. I was hired for the media production side but since it was a small company/office, I did work for both the nonprofit and the company itself. It was supposed to be a 3 month summer internship contract with the hope of extending the contract another few months or indefinitely if everything went well during the first 3 months which was also the standard 3 month probation period that is pretty standard with most or all jobs pretty much.
While the first few weeks were going well, I think, unfortunately, I feel like things kind of started going downhill (for lack of a better term right now) about a month ago or so and I just started feeling really uneasy at work and doubting myself a lot. And I guess my supervisor agreed that things weren’t working out the way either of us had hoped when I was hired and last Wednesday, I was unfortunately let go. I won’t go into everything here about why and what happened but feel free to message me off anon and we can talk if you’re that curious but I don’t think anybody will be. But I don’t mind talking about it more in depth privately.
And while I am still processing my feelings and trying to figure out what this means for me and my future, ultimately I’m fine. There is definitely a mixture of emotions, a mixture of kind of relief since I had a feeling this was coming anyways and excitement about what new possibilities this opened up but also of course, the inevitable sadness and disappointment and feelings of embarrassment and failure that come with these situations. As much as I wish I could crawl under the bed covers and hide from the world...I can’t lol and am feeling a lot better after continuing with my already planned weekend plans and seeing friends and watching some excellent movies that proved to be a good distraction.
My supervisor really couldn’t have been kinder about the way she handled it or as kind and professional as you can be in that situation. Both of us were sad and disappointed that things didn’t work out the way either of us had hoped when I was hired and that this job and company wasn’t the right fit for me at this time. I’m definitely relieved she did things with kindness in a dignified way and that I am leaving on good terms and that there are no hard feelings between either of us. Honestly I had a feeling this was coming so even though she let me go, it was sort of a mutual decision and we were on the same page so I wasn’t completely blindsided or anything. It wasn’t as catastrophic as that moment in movies and television shows makes it seem and it wasn’t a bullshit D*nald T*ump “You’re fired!” kind of firing or anything. Our office didn’t have a conference/meeting room and there is no privacy since its a small office so she took me out for coffee to do it and we ended up having a good constructive conversation about my strengths and weaknesses, what both of us could have done differently, how she can maybe do things differently if she hired for my position again in the future etc. It wasn’t like a major mistake or misconduct or anything that got me fired, the position and company just wasn’t a good fit for me personally at the end of the day, at this point in time.
So yeah, even though Tuesday and Wednesday were rough and I’m still processing, figuring out where I go from here, worried about the future, about money etc. I’m mostly fine. This was probably for the best and better that it happened when I’d only been there about a month and a half. I’m taking it as a life lesson and can use what went wrong to help me figure out what I want/need in a future position and company or even industry now that I better know what my strengths and weaknesses are and what kind of work environment and conditions I would probably work better in/under in the future.
I’m disappointed in myself that I’m back to being where I was a year ago, unemployed and back to job searching etc. but I’m mostly excited for the future actually since this means that hopefully I’ll be moving on to bigger and better opportunities in the future now that I have a little more experience outside of the service industry, and hopefully I’ll have better luck with getting a job with more hours/better pay or a bigger company (even though its difficult to get a foot in the door at big companies). I’m even thinking about going back to school in 2020 maybe, I still have to look into my options which I will be doing over the next couple of weeks as well going into application time so I’ll keep everyone posted.
It’s been a rough few days, and I’m definitely trying to not let the darkness seep in and am trying to stay optimistic. Everyone I’ve told so far has been nothing but supportive and helpful for the most part and I know I have a lot of other things in my life to be grateful for and that I’m not defined by my job!
And Hillary's right...Chardonnay definitely helps a little 😂😂🍷
This post was long so hopefully I didn’t forget anything I wanted to say lol but I think I about covered everything.
tl;dr: I started working as an Administrative Assistant at a media production company in July on a 3-month contract. Things didn’t work out and unfortunately I was let go this past Wednesday. But I know everything will be okay, the possibilities are endless and onto bigger and better things hopefully! Onward and upward!
