You blinked a couple times, trying to figure out if you were seeing things. Maybe Kokomi was right, you did need to get on medication.
“Are you.. okay?” Scaramouche asks, slight hesitation hinted in his voice.
You snap out of your daze
“Yeah sorry, I was just caught off guard.”
“It’s fine, why were you out here alone anyways? You should’ve asked someone to go with you,” Scaramouche reprimands you. You finally take the initiative to look up at him.
When you make direct eye contact with him it feels like the world turned upside down, your world
You quickly glance away, “Oh wow, so now you’re blaming me for this? What a nice guy you are.”
Scaramouche sighs, “you know that’s not what I meant, I just—“ he cuts himself off, trying to find the right words.
I just wish you would’ve called me
“I know, I know, I was just messing around with you,” you adjust your hold on the grocery bag and begin to start walking again.
He follows behind and grabs the bag from your grasp.
“I’m not weak or something, I can hold my own bags.”
Scaramouche keeps his eyes staring ahead, “I don’t think you’re weak, you just shouldn’t have to hold your own things while i’m here.”
Without him knowing, those words unraveled months of progress.
Before everything happened between the two of you, Scaramouche used to act like your boyfriend—or at least he did boyfriend-ly duties.
He’d stand on the outside of the sidewalk, carry items for you, tie your shoe. Little things that meant the world.
People used to joke that the two of you were like an old married couple. The way you two could bicker but then do acts of each other that you wouldn’t do for anyone else.
At first, you both took the jokes as annoying. You didn’t like when others misconstrued your guys’ relationship.
But as the rumors grew, so did your feelings.
And that was your first mistake.
You finally turned to look at him, really look at him.
His hair had grown out a bit, it suited him nicely.
“So, how did you know I was here anyways?” you ask breaking the silence.
Scaramouche cocks his head to return your gaze. “Kokomi and Yoimiya were worried because you were taking so long. They sent me out to get you.”
Your eyes widened. Yoimiya and Kokomi sending Scaramouche out of anyone to come check on you?
“I’m happy for you,” he says out of nowhere.
Your mouth falls slightly agape as you stare at him.
He looks away from you, “though, I doubt it means anything to you now.”
“What are you happy for me about? I almost just got kidnapped five minutes ago?” you retaliate.
“I’m not talking about that obviously,” he spits out with attitude. “You have a lot of people that love you—“ he pauses.
“And I guess i’m happy because that’s all you’ve ever deserved.”
You didn’t know if you wanted to cry or laugh. But you ended up taking the latter option. Laughing so hard you could topple over.
Scaramouche gives you the dirtiest look he could muster. “Why are you laughing? I’m trying to be heartfelt, you know i’m not very good at this.”
You can barely hear him over your own thoughts.
The irony in him saying all you ever deserved was love.
You wanted so badly to scream out at him. Tell him that he could’ve been the one to give you that love; that he was the one to give you that love.
But instead, you held your tongue and kept laughing like you don’t know what else to do.
“Sorry,” you choke out. “I’m not laughing at you I promise.”
He raises an eyebrow, “then what are you laughing about?”
“Don’t worry about,” you murmur out an excuse. “Thank you Scaramouche, I hope one day that love finds you too.”
For the first time in months, you smile at him, and he questions how he ever lived without it.
You look at his face but you can’t tell what he is thinking at all. The night sky reflects itself back at you through his eyes, and you swore it felt like you were back in your seventeen year old body, looking at the boy you fell in love with.
“Yeah well, don’t thank me yet. Lohen told me that he is joining the movie night as well,” Scaramouche mumbles out.
If you didn’t know any better, you would say that the tone in his voice was jealousy, but you knew Scaramouche. You knew that he would never let go of you if he didn’t want to.
So, you sallowed back those feelings you once harbored for him.
“I’m excited to see him,” you perk up.
Scaramouche nods, “So the date went well?”
“I think so, it was my second date ever so to be honest I don’t have much to go off on.”
Scaramouche’s movements faltered momentarily when he heard your words. The implication that he has been your first and only date for years weighing on him.
You two of you finally approach Childe’s front porch after what felt like hours.
“Thanks again for saving me,” you smile.
Scaramouche sighs, “I know you would’ve handled it if I wasn’t there.”
“Sure, but it’s nice to know you’re still on my side.”
Your words feel like an arrow shooting through his heart. Just as he was about to say what he had wanted to the whole walk, the front door flew open and out came Yoimiya.
Tackling you into a hug, Yoimiya screams “I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!”
Behind her was Itto, looking like a puppy with its tail tugged in between its legs. He took a step forward to Scaramouche and exchanged a few words with him.
Scaramouche looked back at you one more time before heading inside.
“IM SORRY YOU HAD TO MAKE UP FOR MY MISTAKE!” itto yelled, rolling on the floor at your feet.
“Dramatic as ever,” you laugh. “I’ll let it slide this time, but if you ever make me pay for your stupid actions again i’m going to make you my target practice.”
“NO!” itto cried out. Yoimiya stepped forward and started play fighting with him while you just watched.
Scaramouche was right, you do have people that love you.
You just wished that he was one of them.
AUTHORS NOTE: rewriting this actually took months off of my life
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