On Serosorting
A few weeks ago, I was the victim of serosorting (otherwise known as discrimination against someone based on their HIV status.) While I have always expected this sort of thing to happen, given the severity of the disease and the social stigma that is attached to it, it still hit me hard.
Let me explain.
As someone who is nearly HIV-Undetectable, I am under stringent medical treatment to ensure that my virus remains as dormant as possible. Given that my viral load has recently risen to detectable counts, I am still at a heightened risk to infect someone. However—I am much less likely to infect another individual than, say, someone whose viral load is in the tens of thousands. As such, I am maintaining a responsible and medically-necessary treatment to ensure not only my health, but the health of anyone I eventually come into contact with. The key word here is responsible—which, in a world where HIV is still a major threat (especially in the US,) is necessary in order to prevent further infection.
In other words: I am already a step ahead of most people because I am aware of my HIV status.
The AIDs Healthcare Foundation—which is the largest HIV/AIDs medical provider in the nation and the practice which treats me here in Fort Worth, Texas—has staggering and utterly-horrifying statistics regarding an epidemic most believe to have substantially decreased with the implementation of antiretroviral drugs. According to their estimates, 70% of people who have the virus are not in treatment, and anywhere from 1 in 8 are unaware they are infected (that’s 12% -18%.) What’s worse is that other STDs are rising along with HIV. Comorbid infections are incredibly common in today’s age, and if not detected, can lead to serious health problems such as infertility, dangerous infections, and in some cases even death.
Knowing this, I can’t help but wonder: why me? Why, as an HIV-Positive man, am I being discriminated against based solely on my status?
The answer is clear, and very simple: fear.
People are afraid of what they don’t understand. Many are under the belief that the AIDs crisis died out in the 80s. What many are not aware of is that we are currently facing a new epidemic. Nearly 50,000 people were diagnosed with the virus in 2013, and I can guarantee you that the majority of those infections came from people who did not know they had the virus.
It frustrates me to no end that I, as a responsible HIV-Positive man—who is receiving treatment, following my medical regiment, and am up front and honest about my condition with potential partners—am being discriminated against based solely on my status. Some treat me like the walking plague. They say, D/D (Drug/Disease) Free, Be Clean, I’m Clean, You Should Be Too, and many other incredibly ignorant things. Because fact of the matter is: if you are sexually-active, you do not know if you are completely STD-free until months after the fact, as HIV (as an example) needs time to build in the system before it becomes detectable. You would think, based on common sense, that someone who knows they have the virus and are taking measures to treat themselves would be seen as responsible. Sadly, that isn’t always the case.
So yes, I’ll admit it. As headstrong and confident as I seem to be, serosorting is an incredibly painful form of discrimination that I have the potential to face any time I am interested in another man (and it hurts every time I face it.) What’s even worse is being strung along with the idea that they might be interested in yo, only to then find out that they aren’t interested in you because they ‘won’t date people with HIV.’ There’s nothing more hurtful than being excluded, but when it comes to an aspect of your health you are responsibly treating—and that people should be more knowledgeable of—it hurts all the more.
