One-shot
Description: It’s Severus Snape’s first year teaching at Hogwarts. He goes down to the Kitchens to get a glass of port and ends up being held hostage by concerned House Elves. Minerva floos in for her evening nightcap and cup of tea, as usual, and watches the scene unfold.
Word length: no clue
Minerva strode out of the Floo of the Hogwarts Kitchens. When she looked up, she saw Severus Snape, her former student and the new Potions Professor, in an armchair being fussed over by five or six different House Elves. When she exited the fireplace, the Elves froze and turned to look at her, looking for all the world like children caught doing something they shouldn’t have been.
Severus had a pained, almost embarrassed expression on his face, as though to say please get me out of here. His attempts to ward them off had failed and already he had eaten more in an hour than he normally did in a day.
But Minerva merely peered down at him from over her spectacles, and sat in the chair nearest to the fire. After a moment she snapped her fingers and a pile of scrolls and a quill landed in her lap. A beat passed, and she began to grade her students’ papers. Assured of her not having any plans to scold them for feeding her public rival, the House Elves began to fuss at him again. Tentatively at first, and then with increasing volume and energy.
After a minute, Minerva decided to contribute.
“You should give him chocolate, he was always fond of it,” she said, without looking towards the gaggle of Elves. The Elves collectively quirked their heads at this; two of them clapped their hands. One jumped in glee. Within seconds they were rushing about, summoning everything chocolate that they had and magicking up the rest.
“Why don’t you eat’s, sir?,” said one female elf despairingly. “You must eats. Soon you is be looking like a Bowtruckle, you is!”
A different elf, also female, clipped the one who had just spoken about the ear, using a silver food platter. The former elf held her head and groaned.
“Ow, Mitsy!”
“You’s deserves it, Gertie, and you’s is ought to be ashamed. House Elves is not to be calling Masters silly names.” A pause. “But Mitsy is being rights, Master Snapes. You needs eating.”
Throughout this exchange Minerva never looked at the Elves who surrounded the young man as though they were moths flocking to a flame.
Eventually, Severus couldn’t take it anymore.
“I thank you for your service,” said Severus politely, pushing another platter away. “Now. Away with you,” he added sternly, for good measure, lest they think him a pushover so soon into his career.
The Elves look at him with big sad eyes, unmoving. He pinched the bridge of his nose, looked at Minerva for a sign of a assistance, and finding none, sighed.
“You may put fresh linens on the bed in my chambers, and renew the spellwork in my fireplace,” he muttered reluctantly. “It seems to be faulty and that won’t do. I require it for Floo calls and travel.” He paused. “If you might have a look at the bathtub as well. I believe something has taken up residence in its pipes.”
Instantly the Elves perk up. All of them disappeared with a crack. In their absence a new Elf shuffled into the room and served Minvera tea the way she liked it.
“Thank you, Jax,” said Professor McGonagall, nodding at the elderly male Elf. The Elf, all grace, bowed his head slightly in return.
Jax turned to Severus. “I must apologize for my fellows,” said the ancient elf flawlessly, peering at Snape through watery, but frighteningly sage eyes. “They know a fruitful cause when they see one.”
The wise old Elf shuffled off, leaving Severus and Minerva alone.
“Say nothing of this,” said Severus in low urgent tones. “To anyone.”
“Of course not.”
“Because if you do—”
“Oh, spare me, young man, you know that I could hex you six ways from Sunday if I had a mind.”
“And you don’t?” said Severus, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, always. Ever since you were my student. You have a horrid snide streak in you.” She sniffed. “But I, unlike some, have the necessary self-discipline to repress my baser impulses.”
He stared at her disbelievingly. “That is… Laudable. Are you certain you don’t belong in Slytherin, McGon— Professor McGonagall?”
Minerva chuckled, both at his question and his mistake. “No. It was my first choice at my Sorting. And it’s Minerva, dear, not Professor.”
Severus blinked. “Then you must call me Severus.”
She bowed her head slightly.
After a moment, she spoke. “Do you play chess, Professor Snape?”
“I do not.”
She looked at him over her glasses. “I shall have to remedy that. Didn’t they play chess in the Slytherin Common room?”
“They did. I never joined. I merely watched.”
“Ah. Well. Meet me here this time next week, and every week after. Albus refuses to play chess with me ever since he lost the last time. I need an opponent who isn’t a sore loser.”
Taking this as his cue to leave, Snape stood, and bowed at the waist. “Tuesday nights at eight o’clock it is, then, M–”, he inhaled sharply and corrected himself. “Minerva.”
He was almost at the door when she spoke again.
“Oh, and Severus?”
He turned to look at her.
“I never did stand by what those four boys did to you during your time as our student. I fought Albus on every decision he made regarding what to do with them and what to do with you. James Potter was many things, but he was not a wise boy. He knew my thoughts on the subject; I told him many times in his private meetings with me that he ought to tread carefully and think before he acted. But, well,” said Minerva, giving a slightly wistful smile. “You know as well as I do that young men rarely listen to us old folk.”
Severus frowned. “The thought is appreciated, Professor McGonagall.” He paused. “Minerva. Good evening to you. I look forward to beating you next Tuesday.”
He bowed his head, and swept from the room, leaving Minerva to stare thoughtfully after him.
“Cheeky boy,” she said to herself.
Then, in the silence of the room, she turned back to her seventh year papers. Soon the only noise in the parlor of the Hogwarts Kitchens was the crackling of the fire, the scratching of her quill, and something that sounded suspiciously like purring.












