I have a degree in Sex & Gender. I occasionally get asked advice from friends. I thought I’d share some knowledge with you.
You know, a lot of people don’t really know what they’re doing when they lose their virginity, heck even after that. There’s all these misconceptions about what you should do and what should feel good. Then, most people are too embarrassed to ask anyone. So I’m going to lay out several points that might be a little bit helpful.
1. Kissing. This particular activity takes some active recon. Watch your partner!! They WILL respond if they like what your doing. Although, the facial expressions for pain and arousal are quite similar. Your partner might even like the pain, in which case you have to be especially careful not to make it more painful than they like it to be. Does your partner like kissing with tongue? Biting/nibbling? Tip for the girls (or boys, whatever), sucking on his tongue or fingers is usually a green light. But like I said, watch your partners reactions. Ask them if they like it if you aren’t sure. Communications is key in every aspect of sex.
2. Size. It does NOT matter. For starters, a vagina is only so deep! You will hit the cervix and it will hurt! Just because you can jam the whole thing in, doesn’t mean you should. On the other hand, just like penises change shape after arousal, so does the inside of the vagina. The outer rim gets tighter and gets slightly wider as it gets deeper. Although the G-spot is located deeper (will continue in number 3)..The most stimulating place for a woman is generally the outer half of her vagina and the clitoris.
3. G-spot. It’s located roughly midway inside, toward the front. It’s not as sexy as most people think it is. Albeit it feels good, for both men and women to have the particular spot rubbed against. Technically you’re hitting the pancreas. Squirting is also caused by doing this.
4. Clitoris. A lot of women CAN’T orgasm unless their clit is stimulated. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Happens to the best of us. It’s just how the body works. Ways to achieve her orgasm can include but aren’t limited to oral, oral and fingering, penetration and rubbing. If you can’t figure out how to thrust and rub her clit at the same time, tell her to do it. Take in the sight. Use of toys can also be helpful and fun. Experimenting and watching your partner should be enjoyable. Don’t forget to communicate and not look bored! If she thinks she’s causing you trouble, she might fake it. That I’m sure, would be a big blow to some men’s pride. So communicate! Ask what she wants, where she wants it, how hard she wants it.
5. Boobs. Seriously all boobs, are different. Even the boobs attached to the same person. Unless they’re fake, they will never be the same. Also, big boobs generally are not perky. Gravity, my friend. Then there’s the firmness and softness. It’s all different because every person is different. The nipples have different colors, sizes, aureola types, locations. They’re fun to play with and have them played with. There’s a bunch of things to do with boobs. Sucking, licking, biting, boob jobs, tying them up. Whatever you can imagine. Just make sure your partner is cool with it.
6. Blow Jobs. It’s best to experiment and communicate, as usual. A lot of guys like the idea of deep throating but a lot of girls can’t do it. A good way to get around that issue would be to use both hands and your mouth at the same time. Gently cup the testicles with one hand (fondle, if you wish) and put pressure on/hold the base of the shaft with the other hand. While you’re sucking, you can meet your mouth with your hand instead of the base of his shaft. You take less in your mouth but he still has sensations on his entire penis. Also the testicles are sensitive so you can touch them but be careful with them. You can lick, suck, deep throat, make eye contact, your partner will respond in some way. So just eye him to make sure you’s feeling good. Also, moaning while the penis is in your mouth causes vibrations so that’s always a plus. Most men are very touchy with teeth touching their penis but some men enjoy it, so be sure to ask.
7. BDSM. This has a very wide range of things involves and my oh so favorite. It’s actually more common than people think it is. People with high stress lives tend to like being on the receiving end and people who feel as though they lack control in their lives tend to like being on the giving end. Although this is super exciting, make sure you talk about it thoroughly with your partner first. Set up safety words and figure out pain thresholds. See what your partner is willing to do and not do. There’s also categories which include Brat, Little, Primal,Tamer, Submissive, Dominant, Master, Slave, and so on. It’s not exactly like Fifty Shades of Grey. Although that could be considered to be on the light side. There’s much more that can be considered BDSM. Spanking, hair pulling, biting, wax play, bleeding, asphyxiation, abandonment play, toys, humiliation play, gagging, and of course bondage. BDSM is as limited as your imagination. Just make sure you set up the ground rules with your partner first.
Don’t forget, it all depends on each person. Everyone is different and communication is key.
If you have a question, don’t be afraid to ask. I’m always here to help (;
