#sh -

[goodnighthorses]

girl! If I manage not to cut myself today I'm undiagnosing all of my disorders, I'm on a really thin thread and it's all I can think about really, in similar situations I cut myself much sooner, i feel like it's a ticking time bomb

[worldpromiseda]

like for a starter - specify muse

[gorey]

like. i am stealth (abt gender, openly gay) at work, have dropped hints abt poor mental health i guess but obviously it's not something i'm open about.....so i'm one of the few white dudes there and i very much don't want to put any attention on myself bc not only are my issues nobody's business but also it's just shitty to victimize myself and impose them on people who r just trying to exist . so when i can't help like fucking panicking the options tend to be hurt myself in silence for emotional regulation and get on with it . or just force myself to keep going in a stupor

[keibay]

am i allowed to be edgy

also not enough trans kaneda here even tho we all know he is.....take ur time i guess...

[lapie]

hello there, everyone ! i hope today’s been kind to you all & all of you deserve so much happiness & i hope you all have been taking care !! & it's lapis, i wonder if you guys still recognize this blog & or me ! it's been a really long time since i've used tumblr & here’s an update under the cut, if you’d like to check this out, though, you don’t have to, no worries ! & i hope your day has been great !! 💙

hi, hi !! i hope you all are doing well & here’s some things that have happened while i’ve been out ! i'm actually pretty inactive in general & i seldom use any social media & i think it's been around a year and a half or maybe two since i've been here & i’ll probably still be on hiatus, i haven't been too active on social media or discord at all / in general since i've been doing my best to try to better myself & most of my freetime for the past couple year or two have gone towards working, paying bills & saving up for payment plans & college expenses & such as well as taking classes & doing classwork & homework & practicing healthier coping skills & trying to relax when i get the chance,

i hope everyone's been doing alright & since i've last been here, lots of things happened in my life, i finally ended up graduating from high school after stopping going, i've gotten a job as a captioning agent at captioncall, i've been working since, and i've become a psych major & a freshman in college, i have been mostly working & taking classes in college & the time has flown by,

i'm happy to say that i've been over a year clean from all forms of self-harm, i haven't attempted suicide, purged, binged, restricted or been hospitalized for my mental health in many months, and i've been doing my best to use positive coping skills & my dbt skills & i am now at a healthy weight & doing my best to cope with all of my mental illnesses & past eating disorders,  i’ve also somehow earned the millennium scholarship & maintained a 4.0 in college so far ! ( i don’t plan on maintaining it, though, it’s incredible to see where i used to be compared to today... )

thank you to everyone who is still following me after all the time i've been gone, that means a lot to me & i'd love to reach out to all my old beloved friends here & thank you all for helping me when i was at my lowest & all of my mutuals too & everyone who's ever left me a kind message & or ask,

i have never forgotten everyone’s who’s shared their kindness with me & i really appreciate all of that & you all, & if anyone is interested, please feel free to message me & or reply here & i'll do my best to get back to you whenever i can, my replies are usually slow due to work & school & my health, though, i'll do my best to try to reply before i get too caught up with work & school again !

thank you to everyone who's been here for so long, you all have seen me from when i used to be in & out of the hospital from getting admitted to longterm & afterwards, lots of things have happened, though, i wish you all the best & all of you deserve lots of joy & i hope all of your days have been kind to you ! & please try & take care & i hope all of your days will be sweet to you & you all deserve the best,

thank you all for everything, sincerely, lapis 💙

[cmrnfry]

oh nya?

[keibay]

buncha old messy shit ive never posted i dont think lol a majority is over half a year old