1. You believe and trust yourself.
2. You take delight in your own company and in the company of others. You are as content being alone as you are being social.
3. You feel whole within yourself. You do not need something outside of yourself, such as approval, a job, wealth, spouse, academic credentials, slim physique, social status, etc., to feel complete. You are neither made superior nor diminished by these things. You do not judge your own or other people’s worth according to these things.
4. You don’t change who you are to conform to who you’re with.
5. You love yourself and so can love others.
6. You feel a connection with our universe. You experience the oneness of this planet, its people, plants, and animals.
7. You intuitively know where you end and where others begin (often referred to as having “boundaries”). You understand that we are all separate yet a part of this planet, and so, connected.
8. You are responsible for your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You also know that your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors affect our planet and all things in it.
9. You live in the present more than in the past or future. You are conscious of your history, but you do not dwell on it. You may have goals, but you are not driven or possessed by them.
10. You feel at home with yourself. You are comfortable in your body, with your emotions, mind, and spirit.
11. You are spontaneous and find excitement in living. You experience things as they occur through feelings.
12. You engage in regular activities that enhance and deepen your experience of yourself in the universe. You may find these through prayer, meditation, communion with nature, laughter, joy, and playfulness.
13. You accept the human condition. This means living a full life while accepting human imperfections and limitations; you accept your joys and disappointments, health and illnesses, accomplishments and shortcomings. You are able to come to terms with each as it occurs.
14. You do not wonder what “normal” is. You live according to rules and rhythms that are in keeping with your self and the universe.
Recovery means experiencing your own self and enjoying your full potential. One reader summed up recovery with, “I heal, therefore l am.”
- Mary Ellen Holmen (quoted from Safe Passage to Healing: A Guide for Survivors of Ritual Abuse by Chrystine Oksana)
