#shahofthelands

[celestialsacrifice]

replies to @shahofthelands comments on chapter 14 but open to anyone who wants to read

So going off your reactions I take it you're a fan of bloodymary? haha

I'm glad Simon came across well. I really just wanted to turn the trope of Grace tending to Simon post-IL on its head. Simon is canonically so kind and caring and you almost never see it. It's very tempting to go hard on the anger and capability of violence but I honestly believe that he's not only, but he's always been kind. He's just learned how to survive in a horrid location

Any interest in a kind of deep-dive breakdown of my headcanons regarding Simon-451 and his place within Eden? Bits will be covered but a lot will just be in the background so I don't mind breaking it down

Kind of tempted to do a one-shot of Simon tending to feverish and hallucinating Grace now.

If you think about it, Simon is the second person who doesn't look like him that he's interacted with since he was tackled to the ground and put on the hail mary (and the other one was his brother's fuck buddy who he hasn't realised looks surprisingly like this guy)

Yes I'm telling you Simon found an injured, feverish man who was not at all with it wandering the streets of Eden and hid him away to help him recover.

Simon has no idea who Grace is or where he came from or really much of anything because naturally Grace has a lot he can't easily explain. Simon's motivation will be explored soonish so I will expand on this then.

I'm glad you're noticing all the small moments I'm sprinkling in to build a foundation for whatever I choose to do with them. Not 100% sure how it's going to land, but I am aiming for that airport in a way.

So this kind of borrowed from moments with me and my partner. We'll be hanging out and then my stomach will just growl really loud and they'll joke with me like Simon did here, and I get so embarassed but like in a "omg stahp' kind of way. It's more of a slight embarassment at his body betraying him and broadcasting how much he needs the food. Also like while Grace is aroace (in ITSOHC at least) he's not immune to cute moments.

Grace's weakness is actually kind of important. It will become particularly relevant in a few chapters. You will both love it and hate it.

Simon's primary draw to Grace right now is curiosity. He's not deliberately perving, he's not checking out Grace to ogle him or anything. Grace is a stranger who doesn't know about Eden, who spoke of people trying to kill him, who talked about saving the stars. He's an enigma and Simon is wanting to see what he looks like behind that weird red shirt because surely he must be an alien, or maybe there are scars that might hint at him having lost his mind through some kind of torture. He's just trying to sus Grace out. (not thought at too much length but Simon might be on the asexual spectrum as well. Stlil figuring that out)

yes that is the scar from Rocky saving him. I remembered it would be there after watching Grace just after he remembers being murdered and seeing the scar on Ryan Gosling's arm briefly.

Fun fact: I wrote "So he's trapped here with no way home and only one friend in the whole universe" and then when I read it back like a minute later I was like 'wait...that's just the movie' so yeah, wasn't planned but worked out nicely.

Yes Grace considers Simon a friend.

Grace's ability - information processing, is very much a passive power. Like Driver's. He can focus it if he wants to but it happens regardless of his actively using it. When it gets boosted his brain tends to hook on generally insignificant (at least in that moment) things and he's slowly learning to recognise when that happens. He's also clued in that when it does, there's another Gosling nearby. It happened just before Holland turned up (he assumed it must be Colt), and it happened just before he saw Colt. It takes him a few minutes to recognise it but he's getting better at it.

To answer about Colt I would like to direct your attention to chapter 13: "The kid never listens; never has. A do-first-think-later kind of guy" - Colt didn't talk to anyone before heading into 451. Time is kind of screwy between timelines at the best of times and he has no way of knowing how fast or slow 451 is running compared to the other universes. There was no time to go for help!

Grace's disguise is designed to make it hard to see memorable parts of him, his hair, his face etc. It would be hard for any of Eden to recognise him as a stranger by sight, but if things went wrong nobody would be able to describe him. So no Colt didn't notice him, and doesn't even know if Grace is alive (this will be confirmed next chapter). They don't generally feel drawn towards each other except when actively in each other's presence. The multiverse does keep bringing them together though

People tend to write Simon as naturally agressive but they forget that anger comes from somwhere, it isn't just there inherently, it builds from something and here it's frustration at trying to keep them safe when Grace doesn't seem to care and is actively putting them in danger. His anger stems from his kindness (at least here)

So this was the last minute adjustment I made before posting this morning because I was reading it through for the thirtieth time and originally Grace didn't react but it just hit me. There is no way that Ryland Grace saw someone identical to him getting chased the way I described Colt as being chased, and it didn't immediately put him in mind of what happened to him. Less flashbacky but with his mind running faster, he definitely had a moment of 'if that was me, I would have wanted someone to help me' and then that's it - woosh off he goes. In that moment he's wanting to help Colt, but he's also being the bystander he wished someone had been for him.

So in this moment, Simon is two seconds away from just dragging Grace away because that guy over there isn't important. he's just a guy who is in trouble which he's seen a hundred times before in Eden. Keeping Grace out of trouble is his priority but between the 'murder him' and Grace's defiance and anger despite having been a pretty passive guy while he recovered it kind of surprises him and now Colt is on his 'guess I got to protect this guy because that's the kind of man I choose to be' list.

So if Colt didn't have his jacket when he went to cut ties with Grace, he wouldn't have had it now, because he doesn't need the jacket in order to be brave physically. Going into a dangerous universe that by all rights should be dead with no idea what kind of trouble he might come across is easy for him. Being emotionally vulnerable/lying to protect grace is too hard to face alone.

Simon sees what a lot of other people are very quick to dismiss

I am happy to explain Simon's place within Eden if you want that Eden breakdown I mentioned somewhere up there^^

I wanted to use Simon to point out the specific similarities between Grace and Colt that everbody else so far probably ignores because, hey they all look the same. Simon is the one who's coming with fresh eyes and seeing things we might not have realised about them.

Let me know if there's any other questoins (also about that possible Eden post)

[celestialsacrifice]

@shahofthelands

Glad you've had some rest!

So I am happy to clear a lot of things with Ryan up.

Ryan was effectively kidnapped from the set of La La Land (which was filmed in 2015, released in 2016) which is why he's dressed like Sebastian from the film. So Drive is the only film he would be familiar with (of the people present). Fall Guy, and the Gray Man both came out post 2020. So did Project Hail Mary so he wouldn't recognise who Grace is either. If Holland was there, Ryan would recognise him as The Nice Guys was filmed prior to La La Land. Fun facts.

Colt noticed no absence of Courtland for five years, because Ryan was there as Six, acting in his place. 'Six' wasn't there 100% of the time but he was there the most frequently, regularly checking in on Colt and laying down these weird new rules like no painkillers, no guests in the common areas, and maybe some others that I honeslty didn't think too much about so Ryan's assessment of Colt is 100% based in his own personal experience. Like I imagine more than once when 'Six' did something that pissed Colt off he tried to punch him to varying degrees of success.

It's true. Colt would happily throw hands but he's not on the same level of fighting/aggression as Driver or Court but he can take a hit, he has his healing, and he has survived a great many tragedies which you don't even know about yet. A line I'd love to work in sometime is that despite everything Colt always persists.

The pasta segment was the first thing I wrote and I refused to drop it because I feel like Colt's aversion and willingness to just toss the food aside was important.

Ryan has to have gotten a good, clear view of the Gosling he mimics because he can't copy what he can't see. The reason he can't copy Driver is because of Driver's perception shift, no one really gets a good look at him, even when they can see him. So with this I want to draw your attention to 2 things. 1) If Ryan knows this, it means he likely attempted to mimic Driver at one point and failed - and 2) Driver was visibly clear when Six came into the room meaning Ryan has now had a clear view of him, even if he doesn't realise.

Ryan's mimicry, like everybody's abilities, is boosted with each additional one of them.

1 additional Gosling in-universe - he can perfectly recreate any of them in any physical state (including clothes) that he's encountered. He can half-replicate their voice/tone/words, and a few simple mannerisms. It wouldn't fool someone who really truly knows the original but would pass for anyone not expecting to see him.

2 additional Goslings - Ryan can almost perfectly mimic words/voice/tone and more of the way they speak, act, and behave. More believable.

3 additional Goslings - Ryan can access important thoughts/feelings/motivations snapshotted from the last time he encountered said Gosling. Voice/tone/mannerisms are almost perfect.

4 additional Goslings - almost perfect mimicry to the point that he would be almost impossible to tell from the original

Since Ryan's ability is currently dependant on the others, he had no knowledge of what he could do and prior to his kidnap has never used it. This means he has the least experience of all of them with his ability (even less than Holland) and is incredibly susceptible to the main side effect which is the more 'in-character' Ryan gets the more he struggles to hold on to his own self and identity. If the development of his ability was a little more natural/gradual he would be able to easily draw a line between himself and who he's mimicking but given he's doing this under corecion, force, and threat of violence, he can't hold on to himself when he shifts.

Even if the number of Goslings goes down again, he can't get that connection back until he physically turns back into himself but the longer he's been someone else, the harder it is to remember who he actually is. He believes he's the person he's mimicing but can't match them right.

The person who kidnapped Ryan is someone he could very much mimic but this guy absolutely terrifies Ryan. The last thing he wants to do is go anywhere near his mind and manners and risk getting stuck as him. Like Ryan is half-convinced that if he ever mimics him, Ryan (mentally) would be no more, just overwhelmed and replaced by him.

"At least I hope I am" - yeah this is hinting to the fact that Ryan struggles to hold onto his sense of self when he shifts and while I don't have an exact timeline, Ryan's been Six non-stop since before the start of the fic and more than once been around 3 or more of the others kind of cementing him in this mindset of being Six, and no remembering who he actually is. It's been so long he's not even sure who he is right now. He is Ryan, he's just not been Ryan in probably months from his perspective.

Yeah I really struggled with that line but that's basically Colt acknowledging like 'I notice you turned into me, you know the guy who can heal from any injury when you were threatened with a gun. Does this mean you can mimic our abilities too?' - and it was. Turning into Colt was very much an immediate instinct of I'm in danger that coincided with the precise moment he saw Court and remembered, shit that's not me, so he shifted into Colt as like a safety instinct. Kind of like a flinch. But also, Colt is very much a comfort mimic for him. He likes being Colt, and it's kind of hard to explain why though I hope to explore it in the future.

Shooting Colt was an accident. Ryan's intention had been to point it and vaguely threaten Colt but not to actually use it. The problem was Ryan had never handled an actual gun before and it went off. And in that moment his brain kind of tripped and that moment when 'Six' looked shocked was actually Ryan kind of breaking through. If there hadn't have been 3 others in-universe (Driver, Grace, Colt) he would probably have 'woken up' there and then but he didn't. Ryan kind of remembers the shooting, but he really remembers the moment immediately after and the horror on Colt's face before he kind of got swept back into the mimicry.

Driver doesn't have an immediate emotional investment into the situation. He's the calmest, the most emotionally centered one of many of the Goslings and him being the mediator is just such a thing I love for him. Like he is so violent in his film, but only when he has to be, otherwise he's soft spoken and caring and so gentle and I need need neeeeeed that for him in this fic because there's so much potential character crossover with some of these characters.

Colt's thing with 'Six' shooting him is drawn from one of the favourite things I've learned over the last year or so especially regarding traumatising things (especially in terms of like horrific 'pranks' that ruined people's lives) - it doesn't matter if it wasn't real, your body remembers it like it was.

For Court in this moment, Colt is the priority because even without all the information he can tell that this isn't the kid he saw 12 months ago (for Court). Like Colt is his 'little brother' and all he wants is for Colt to be okay which means focusing on him with all of this because Ryan isn't going anywhere. Colt is the focus.

Those three points were very early points that I've been repeating to myself over and over to make sure I got the phrasing right because it was key to showing the difference between Court and Six. Like Six (running off a very outdated snapshot from when Ryan last saw him) would have probably dismissed Colt and told him to grow up or something, but to Court it's important that Colt understand every angle from which this is not true. A way for Colt to hold on to the actual truth. Though reading it now with your thoughts it does give a very chekov's gun kind of vibe

So I really wanted to demonstrate the main point of the clocks. Well maybe not the reason they were made, but the way in which everybody uses them now. It's partly so they can track themselves and each other, but it's mostly so they can track Colt because they all miss so much of his life. Like the others will show Colt their clocks when they visit (except Ken since he's not human and time doesn't work normal in his world) but it's about tracking Colt's and doing what they can to give him support.

After seeing he was 37 the day that Grace left, there's been one single question on his mind that he hasn't dared to ask and if Ryan had said it aloud not even Court could have protected him. What did Grace's clock say? That's why he didn't want to show his clock. It was nothing about showing Court how old he is, and everything to do with he didn't want to see how long it's been since Grace was here and remembering that whatever Grace's clock had said when he left (which Colt doesn't even know anyway) there's no way their clocks can posssibly match up now. Which Colt has been low-key obsessed with ever since they first saw it.

Five years for Colt, 1 year for Court, Maybe just under 6 months for Driver.

'ok that's definitely not the person who threw grace through the portal...' - O-O are you so sure?

play their part? maybe not. Play the part the Stranger wants them to play? maybe so

There is no timeline fuckery here. This is all linear. Though I will say you have previously predicted half of this explanation but I can't tell you any more than that.

This was a lot of fun to go through. Let me know if there's anything you need me to expand on or explain.

[celestialsacrifice]

@shahofthelands additional thought

No trap is complete without bait to draw the intended in

[celestialsacrifice]

@shahofthelands

So let's talk about Colt

(jsyk I do kind of touch on Colt and Murdock's sex life/relationship in this but I'm ace and fairly sex-averse so it's nothing too explicit]

Colt's protectiveness - when he was younger (before he really knew about his Thing) it was just out of a fact that he doesn't like seeing other people hurt and/or in pain. Once he found out about his ability to heal it kind of cultivated this responsibility within him. Like he may hurt, but he will ALWAYS heal. HE can get better but others can get sicker and infected, or suffer life changing complications. Colt might suffer for a while but eventually he'll get better so it makes more sense for him to take it when he can. With how Six has been acting lately it's kind of getting pushed to the limit, Six pushing this 'you must keep the others safe' and Colt torn between not doing as he's told because Six is being an ass, and doing what he wants to do because of who he is

Colt dying - Colt has died before. One of them is off-limits due to spoilers, but the other was when he first found out about not being able to die which was really traumatic for him. Courtland was the one who was there for him that time which is why them not getting along doesn't make any sense to Driver. After that incident Colt and Courtland were closer than anything.

Abandonment issues - With one brief exception (spoilers), Colt has never been anyone's first priority. It's not that he doesn't matter, the others care deeply for Colt but they have connections in their own universes and while Colt is important, Colt would hate them if they were to let those go just to hold on to him. - Colt's dad was emotionally absent, and his mom was very loving and nuturing but Ryland was always their priority given he was a world reknowned figure from a very young age. Colt was often an afterthought who was rarely if ever prioritised by them, especially given they divorced after the Orpheus left Earth.

You may notice that when visits first happen, Colt is like an excitable puppy, very happy and boisterous and excited. Whenever someone appears he hugs them tight. He does everything to make the most of every visit but eventually he remembers there's a ticking clock on their time with him and that's when the anxiety sets in. Once it hits, he kind of wavers and struggles, not because he thinks he might be too much but because he knows that all too soon it'll be over. Colt's hope doesn't get up, he just ignores the impending loss until he can't ignore it any more.

Something in Colt's mind has kept him from hugging Grace, even after the attack at the club. There's something that tells him it isn't something he should do. He chalks it up to be Grace being an alternate form of Ryland and THAT relationship was very toxic so his brain isn't sure how to separate them out yet.

Colt will avoid sharing how much everything hurts him because he sees it as a moral failing. He's the guy who heals, who bounces back from everything. He is supposed to be the strong one. Physical injuries all heal but as a kind of balance, the emotional scars cut that much deeper. He doesn't feel safe opening up about how much everything hurts because then peoeple won't help him because they care, they'll do it because they pity him (or at least that's what he believes). So he lies. He tells the world (and himself) that he's fine because even if he isn't, what is he supposed to do? He has no family, he has no ties, he has no life. He's lost everything and it kills him a little inside. (minor spoiler here: this may or may not be entirely by someone else's design)

Colt and Murdock - Colt hasn't really had any kind of relationship ever since he moved into the Clubhouse, instead engaging in several one-night stands in his 20s and became a regular part of a local bdsm community. A mutual friend put Colt and Murdock into contact and after a few casual hookups, they became regular fuckbuddies when Colt was around 32/33.

Colt has a high level of endurance, heals easily, and a high level of moral masocism. Murdock is a touch averse sadist who's big on control, typically wearing gloves unless they're actively engaging and it kind of makes Colt feel like he's worth something that he's one of the only things Murdock consents to touching. They balance each other well.

They became more regular when one particularly drunken night spent together (clothes kept on but fun still had), Colt just kind of opened up, spilling everything about his life. Who he was, how he didn't fit, how he didn't matter, how he had no family, how there were other hims (including a kind of plea to not fuck anyone else who looked like him because that would be just too weird for him). And Murdock (for reasons that may or may not get fully explored in the future) kind of rolled with it. He had a few questions about it but didn't call Colt crazy or weird - almost like the concept of the multiverse was not entirely foreign to him.

It was on this night that Murdock programmed his number into Colt's phone with instructions to call him any time he wanted to have fun.

Colt has fallen hard for Murdock, which makes sense given how vulnerable and exposed he makes himself in their funtimes and it crushes Colt that Murdock doesn't feel the same way (or does he and he's just as emotionally constipated?), but he'd sooner die (and come back) of a broken heart than risk losing what they have.

Colt's depression - As I said, very much inspired/projected from my own feelings. Stemming from the fact that he's spent years doing things for himself and it's never made things any better for him so it gets harder and harder for him to find the drive to keep doing it. It's also not helped that there's technically no real consequences for him because any physical consequences will heal, and nobody else is really around to hold him responsible. Except right now Grace is there, he's holding the bar and when Colt isn't rising to it, Grace is pulling him up and helping him climb over.

Colt and Grace - Colt isn't frustrated about his duties, he's frustrated about what Six is doing. Prior to chapter one his only experience with Ryland Grace is his older asshole of a brother that he knows Six used to be best friends with and he has made an assumption over why Six has brought Grace to the Clubhouse (to fill an emotional hole left behind by Ryland-451's death). Colt doesn't hold Grace responsible because it's not his fault he's "being used".

While he initially holds it against Grace that he's a Ryland Grace, he learns very quickly that Grace is nothing like Ryland and easily settles into their brotherly dynamic which he knows he probably should be questioning but he's just so comfortable with how easy interacting with him is for the first time in a really long time, that he doesn't want to risk tempting fate and losing it forever.

Colt and Courtland - I have a beautifully heartbreaking moment planned for their reunion. It's made me cry a few times thinking about it.

"COLT TAKES CARE OF THE GUESTS BUT WHO TAKES CARE OF HIM HUH? T-T" - very soon it will be Courtland. If I could tell you how that's a good thing I would but it's such a huge reveal/spoiler so you'll just have to trust me

Colt's Eridian name - I've tried to think what his name would technically derive from/mean in Eridian. I haven't figured it out yet but I imagine something relating to being curious and inquisitive. Like when you see Colt's response to Rocky it will make total sense.

Let me know if you would like any clarification, or have any other questions

[celestialsacrifice]

@shahofthelands - Here's my (admittedly delayed) response to your comments for the last couple chapters

These are answered in order of the points you made in the comments. I hope it's not too difficult to follow

Chapter 7

The glass to the back of Grace's head was a genuine accident. The guy who did it was just very drunk and thought Grace was someone else.

Colt is indeed very protective. It's his biggest flaw.

The whole thing around Six is going to be explored and resolved soon I promise. There's a reason for everything he's done but I really don't think anyone can see it coming. That's the point. I can't say any more or I'll spoil it.

Yes Six was surprised that the gun went off. Yes, Six didn't mean it.

Driver is often (though not always) kind of like second-in-command under Six. He's arguably the strongest, and able to keep a clear head in the middle of chaos.

I don't wear glasses but people trying to show a glasses wearer when they're not wearing them is like a personal peeve. Not forgetting Grace is also recovering from head trauma at the same time.

"I can't imagine what it would be like to watch Colt in that state" - how do you think Driver knew Colt would recover? Maybe someone else taught him...

I will say nothing. I will just let you sit with your thoughts on that. That is all.

THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING THE PAIN THAT COMES WITH THEIR FRIENDSHIP!!! Cause even though Colt is technically older than him, to Driver, Colt will never not be that 19-22 year old kid.

Colt's abandonment issues actually predate the Clubhouse, though living there has definitely not helped them.

Colt has ventured out into 88 a few times (which is how he met Murdock) but he can't really make friends because how does he explain his living situation, the fact he has no job, no family, an inability to be hurt? He's had fun, visited some of the others but at the end of it all he always comes back to the Clubhouse and 98% of the time, he's the only one there.

Chapter 8

Nothing but oxygen. That's the rule.

Six is trying to do clean up for something that should never have happened (shooting Colt)

Driver is the one Colt sees the most often. He doesn't count Six because he turns up and then leaves almost immediately. I don't count Six for another reason that shall reveal itself soon enough. Whenever Colt has reached for Driver, Driver's been there and he can't face that he's not going to be there for a very long time.

I could go on for hours about Colt's mindset. It's very much fueled by my depression. Not having the energy or motivation to do things for himself but having the motivation to do them for someone else. Combined with the repetition from Six that Colt's job is to keep Grace safe. Also the need to think about anything but the trauma of being killed by someone he used to/might still kind of look up to. Also death is pretty traumatising. It's all part of a trauma response.

I honestly didn't think extensively about the last time someone made Colt food but thinking about it, probably not since before he moved into the Clubhouse? After all everyone who visits is technically a guest and Colt always has to cook for himself no matter what so how hard is it to cook for someone else as well? Thinking about it, it's probably just the default that Colt cooks and looks after any one who winds up in the Clubhouse because they're probably there to rest, or briefly visit and it's essentially his home and he's always there so he can be a reliable constant for them. They can always trust he'll be there ready to look after them. I made myself sad.

The earbuds thing is pure projection. I struggle to connect them via bluetooth all the time. As for the earbuds thing, I have the exact probem (turns out my ear canal is super small so most of those silicone bits are too big) and I have some Urbanista Lisbons which are exactly what I was trying to describe, and they come with a little silicon jacket that have a structure to help secure them in the cartilidge of your ears. Fun fact.

It's something I came up with a week or so back because how difficult is it to carry around a laptop?

Rocky refused to pick a word for 'Colt' until he met him because Eridian names are derived from traits/initial impressions of the individual. At least that's my headcanon. So he can't have a word for Colt until they meet. Also you know Grace pre-warned him that Colt is a guy who "looks exactly like me but is in fact not me" and so not-Grace makes the most sense

Colt and Grace are identical. Using just echolocation, Rocky could easily mix them up to begin with. He'd likely discern between them by Grace's glasses, and Colt's jacket - things they'd almost always be wearing. After a few visits he would learn very quickly the mannerisms and quirks that separate them. Grace is generally slower while Colt is kind of fast. Grace thinks a lot while Colt talks a lot. They both fidget but Grace tends to fidget with his fingers, like tapping a pen, or his fingers, where Colt will pace and pat at things with his hands. Grace sits a lot, Colt tends to stand. You know, things like that.

I knew that was the phrase the chapter needed to end on. The rest was a little harder.

The next chapter (9) shall water your crops...and then set them on fire mwa ha ha ha!!

[celestialsacrifice]

Johnny's thing - colours and placement pt 2

in response to @shahofthelands but free for anyone to read

[ Part 1 ]

the colours are dynamic and indicative of all things that have happened up to the point of observance. So Simon and Court are grey because they have done objective bad things but they were not in a position to say no/they held themselves to a restricted sense of justice and morals. Court was an assassin but would not harm innocents/children. He set a boundary as best he could but he still did bad. Simon was the Butcher but there is kindness and resentment in himself for what he's done. Bad but not all bad.

When Colt (and Simon) was younger it would just be around. It would float around, clearly following him when he moved but there was no intent or direction to it. Now it moves purposefully and intently circling them both. Clearly it has grown in strength and intent whatever it is. While in universe no one knows what it is I can tell you it is something bad with such power that from the point it will mark them, it will have marked them both their entire lives. The stronger the smudge grows, the closer the moment of 'impact' becomes.

Murdock's heart is also stained red but the black from his actions and deeds (and intentions) protect it. If Johnny were to keep looking he might see small blots of blue around that red, beneath the black. It's hard to see and well hidden but it's there. I wonder how that got there...

So when I chose purple for Driver initially it was mostly just because purple is the colour I think of when it comes to Driver but thinking about it now (and the other symbolism I've touched on) - what is purple but a mixture of red (pain) and blue (healing). Driver looks at the world and he sees pain, but he sees the potential to grow, at his heart he feels the pain, but he trusts that it is temporary and he will improve. With his hands, he gives pain and violence, but only when he is seeking to protect, to heal broken souls and situations. The thought of Driver being a 'healer' in his own less magical way is just kind of beautiful and would explain why Colt and he are so drawn towards each other as brothers/friends.

Colt is a healer from the skin down. He can heal himself, but he always is seeking to heal, help, and protect others. Even beyond his abilities that is his biggest contribution to the world and why they will be the last part of him to be overwhelmed...

I shall say I associate Colt more with a lighter blue, while the blue that makes Driver's purple being more royal blue kind of colour. But that's just me.

Colours shift and change throughout life but they change with intent, with action. Murdock's colours are the closest to change/shift at the moment, they're right on the cusp and there's hints at it in his colours already, but until he does something/makes a decision/changes perspective, they will not change.

Everyone's colours are capable of shifting. The ones I can definitively confirm will change over the coming chapters are, Murdock, Simon, Courtland (not as much as the others though), Grace, and Colt - there may be others this is just what I can confirm.

[celestialsacrifice]

Author I need you to know that every time I interact with your posts and wonderful fic I’m looking like this

(is this too much? idk but it’s honest work)

(the life cycle of a fan)

(again idk where I got the pics from) (I’m a simple person, I find something that gives me the funny, I save it to my gallery to stare at it forever) (I should stop doing that to myself, sometimes I really want to know where I got it from)

This may also accurately represent my reaction to every response i see from yourself

Thank you for everything you send/type/share/tag me in

It really really helps more than i think i can express

[celestialsacrifice]

@shahofthelands

scuse the delay I completely spaced on responses so I hope this is still okay even though it's late

Colt's being alone to see Grace is multi-layered. Locking 452 was his idea, it's his decision and he feels its his responsibility to tell Grace because of this. Also because the need for it is his fault. The others both offered to come with him but he refused. Seeing Grace, telling him the truth is a self-punishment as well. He needs to be the one to tell Grace, he has to face the anger or hatred or indifference on his own because directly or indirectly this is his fault. If either of them came they would try to defend him but Colt believes he needs to take responsibility for this. Court and Driver are waiting for him to come back at which point Courtland will lock-down 452.

'about Grace being used to...' - the idea is that Colt is interrupting his own thoughts because he doesn't want this to happen so he tries to distract himself from finishing it and pretend its not happening but he can't. This with the subsequent admittance that he's not safe for Grace to be around breaks my heart every time I read it.

For most people there are 2 certainties in life, Death and Taxes. Colt doesn't stay dead and he doesn't have a job so no taxes. So for him there's only one certainty: Grace must be kept safe no matter the cost.

Colt is definitely the glue. He's the heart of the Goslings because without him being in the Clubhouse, almost none of them would really go there. Court might pop in on ocassion, Holland might turn up as a fluke, others may randomly turn-up once and then leave but Driver wouldn't go there, Ken definitely wouldn't, and Grace would never have gotten there in the first place.

Since Grace is getting cut off Colt is actively seeking confirmation that he's making the right decision here - e.g. beyond Grace's safety, the Clubhouse is totally dingy and dull so he'll be so grateful he never has to go there again.

I've been holding onto the Ryland reveal for sooooo long and I am so glad it's out there now.

This is the Ryland that Colt grew up knowing. The one who's alway been the smartest guy in the room and is typically four or five moves ahead. Ryland would never have been like this around other people because he always understood that he shouldered certain expectations and he knew precisely how to play to them perfectly. Now that he's "dead" though he can be more free as his more typical self.

Ryland and Courtland were very different people when they were friends. For one they were younger, if you realise they were late teens/early twenties when they knew each other. For another, it was always imbalanced since Courtland was initially a criminal, while Ryland was a super genius who belived in him. Then when he was CIA, Courtland was drilled into being a good soldier again making it imbalanced. If they were to encounter each other now, the playing field would be much more level and Courtland would be Ryland's equal (not that Ryland knows/believes that)

Colt has always been important to Ryland since they first time he saw him... - I'm not familiar with "the ones who walk away from omelas" but having done 5 seconds of research I can tell you that's not the way it's intending to go.

You are not supposed to know what Ryland is talking about. Before Project Orpheus he was always having to dumb himself down, to slow up his plans so others could keep up but he 'died' nearly twenty years ago (early-to-mid forties) and hasn't insulted his own intelligence like that since. He's 3 steps ahead on the board and he doesn't care that Colt has no idea what he's talking about because there's only one person whose opinion matters to him and that's himself.

Ryland has nothing to do with presence of Astophage in either 451 or 452. The jury's out on how innocent he is when it comes to the explosion of the Orpheus though.

Yes. I can confirm that the failure of Project Orpheus created the circumstances that over time lead to (my version of) Iron Lung. It does mean there may be some liberties taken with canon but it's fanfic. Canon is taken under advisement if not outright ignored.

All of this is a test. Ryland has been observing Colt for years and since the results he wants and/or is seeking haven't happened the way he wants, he's bored of waiting and is taking things into his own hands. Colt isn't doing what he's supposed to so Ryland is using Grace as bait/motivation and trying to force something (as yet unidentified) to happen. Grace's injuries and lack of watch ups the stakes, especially because Ryland knows Colt has a semi-developed hero-complex that is amplified because of what he (Ryland) knows of the truth surrounding Colt and Grace.

Courtland will seek out Ryland once he knows this, and Ryland will let him find him. It will likely not go the way you might expect.

Let me know if you need any further clarification or there are any more questoins :3