Chapter 1: Move-in Day
Chapter 2: Something Familiar
Chapter 3: The Unicorn
Chapter 4: A Moment Alone
Chapter 5: Bitter Memories
Chapter 6: Something Fun
Chapter 7: The Incident
Chapter 8: First Contact
Chapter 9: Important Connections
Chapter 10: The Truth Will Out
Chapter 11: Wrong Place, Right Time
Chapter 12: The Actor
Chapter 13: Family Reunion
Chapter 14: Grace Of Eden
Chapter 15: Prisoner of Eden
Chapter 16: Filament Station (coming soon)
Chapter 17: Boom! (coming soon)
Chapter 18: (coming soon)
so the blue on Colt's hands speaks to the healing he puts out into the world
I just remembered all the times I've had Colt kind of hold himself and thought "What if he was unconsciously trying to use his healing hands on himself to heal his emotional wounds/scars?" and made myself sad
@shahofthelands -> chapter 15: Prisoner of Eden response
Not really in response to anything but I just want to say I'm really proud of my characterisation of Colt in this chapter. Like every time I re-read it I feel so satisfied. Yay me.
There was maybe five seconds between Ryland(451) leaving Colt in Grace's house, and Colt leaving for 451. There was 0% thought and 100% impulsiveness and this is just him lamenting that maybe that wasn't smart. True he wouldn't know he'd end up somewhere that sees all strangers as threats, but he could have thought of something beyond "Step 1: Go to 451, Step 2: ???, Step 3: Save Grace"
I've always felt like characters who can heal from almost anything are done an injustice in how they're typically protrayed. Like yes they're shown to have a 'bad' disregard for their own safety, but it's almost always shown/described to be bad because of how it hurts other people. It's not that they shouldn't be doing it because they shouldn't be in a position where they feel that way, it's about how seeing them like that is so bad for the other character and you (healing character) should care what they (other character) think of you. And then almost immediately the behaviour is corrected and not an issue anymore. No one ever explores what the behaviour looks like when there's not an audience (other than the reader). Where the reckless behaviour isn't because it is better than someone else getting hurt, but because that's how they've learned to navigate the world. It's not a conscious choice, it's a learned behaviour, an instinct almost as innate as breathing. And even if it were called out (which it will be at some point) it's not just magically undone. It's not a trope, it's a symptom of something much deeper that goes hand in hand with the healing ability.
I mean think about it. Pain is a signal to the body that something is wrong. Something's not working the way it should but the same way as someone might ignore their check engine light when it constantly goes off but actually no everything is good learns to ignore it, even though it activating isn't a good thing, Colt has been kind of unintentionally trained to just ignore and dismiss his own pain.
Grace is going to be very pissed. He feels like he's the only one who can see what this shit is doing to Colt but it's not been a big deal up to this point. He's been able to kind of pick up the slack, making food when Colt wouldn't, introducing him to Rocky to give him something to get up and around for but he knows he's been gone a while. None of the others will meet Colt where he is, none of them will see it because Colt will hide it from them. And then there's what happens in the next chapter which is going to really piss him off. It's not even that Colt is putting Grace above himself, it's that Colt isn't considering himself at all.
To this point, Colt and Murdock's encounters have been 98% sexual hook-ups, with 2% casual conversation. Murdock is the dom, Colt is the sub, they very much indulge each other but there's been very little interaction beyond that. It's not that Murdock is cruel or mean, it's just that's not the kind of relationship they have despite Colt having been wanting to seek it. Murdock is a very guarded guy, he never allows himself to be vulnerable, taking charge and control of their hookups which Colt is more than okay with. Just seeing the softness and kindness in not-Murdock's face is weird and it scares him. Murdock is the only non-Clubhouse member person he knows and to see him in such different way is making him uncomfortble. Especially as he gets a chance to see something he kind of has wanted for a long time but Murdock has no interest in giving him. (Again not cruel, just not their dynamic)
Grace has had a single encounter with Murdock and is currently without his glasses. He honestly hasn't made the connection between them. Colt meanwhile, like he says, has bared his soul, mind, and body in front of Murdock too many times not to see it instantly.
yeah, Colt's depression hasn't come out of nowhere. It's been in the building all along. And it's affected him a lot but how can anyone see it when no one's ever there? It's just a constant self-fulfilling cycle.
Grace didn't actually ask Simon to do anything. Simon did it because that is the kind of guy he is. Is it partially motivated by his want to look out for Grace's friend? Very likely but it's because Simon is kind. The prisoner will need feeding, if I do it, I can speak with him, I can be certain it happened. He trust his own perception over anyone else's and within seconds of meeting Colt, he clocks exactly the kind of person Colt is. He's seen a hundred prisoners just like Colt, and it's why he immediately jumps to trying to force the water. Some people don't know what's good for them. But resources are still scarce and he can guess easily that any attempt with the food would be wasted.
Simon sees Colt and witnesses his behaviour for all of five seconds and decrees that these two are brothers. There is no protest either can give, no argument they can make. They are brothers. He knows it. They will not change his mind.
In Colt's mind Grace =/= brother. He would not make that connection unless Simon spelled it out as he did. Grace is the guy he wishes was his brother but isn't. He has to remind himself of that all the time because 'it's not for him'.
It's very obvious to Simon that Colt and Grace are not of Eden/COI and knows that the best way to keep whatever innocence they have is to get them back wherever the hell they came from. He is choosing to help them because that is the right thing to do.
Yeah Colt is going to regret not eating in a chapter or two. Along with a few other things. Also just for posterity's sake
Shah: OMG COLT YOU NEED CARBS!! YOUR BRAIN RUNS ON GLUCOSE!!
When Grace gets to finally fix the whole lack of food thing, he's not going to be kind about it.
Also I challenge you to re-read this chapter with the knowledge that at all times in the back of Colt's mind, he's aware that Ryland(451) may be watching him and waiting for him to do whatever it is that will allow him to pass this test.
I'm still on the fence of what I'm planning to do with bloodymary (whether I'm going romantic, sexual, or keeping it as a QPR) but I definitely plan for there to be a strong base friendship between the three of them where Simon calls the other two idiots completely seriously and on the regular but in a 'I can call them idiots because I'm family but you can't call them idiots because that would be mean'
I am starting to plan the talk/fight/argument/Grace screaming in Colt's face that will happen when this is all over and they are both 'safe' (for all of 2 seconds) and I hope I'm able to satisfy your need to see Colt held accountable.
Simon is kind, but he's also in an incredibly unsafe situation. He's in a cult, he has no way out and he has to survive so he has this mask. The mask is what the other members of Eden see. It's who he has to be in order to continue even when he has to do a lot of things he's not told Grace he's done. He can't face Grace because to this point, he's been able to be 'Simon' with him, and now they're in a situation where he's expected to be Father's favoured. He's worried, he's thinking in terms of his role in Eden, but also trying to consider Grace, and Colt, and how he is going to survive this. He's even considering the fact that he might not survive it.
I have not much to say to the end parts other than virtual cookies for you for figuring out about Filament Station. And while it may seem like Simon has a plan, he has half-a-plan and a half-prayer to the Tree that they'll succeed.
Let me know if you want anything explained/cleared up for you
in response to @shahofthelands but free for anyone to read
[ Part 1 ]
the colours are dynamic and indicative of all things that have happened up to the point of observance. So Simon and Court are grey because they have done objective bad things but they were not in a position to say no/they held themselves to a restricted sense of justice and morals. Court was an assassin but would not harm innocents/children. He set a boundary as best he could but he still did bad. Simon was the Butcher but there is kindness and resentment in himself for what he's done. Bad but not all bad.
When Colt (and Simon) was younger it would just be around. It would float around, clearly following him when he moved but there was no intent or direction to it. Now it moves purposefully and intently circling them both. Clearly it has grown in strength and intent whatever it is. While in universe no one knows what it is I can tell you it is something bad with such power that from the point it will mark them, it will have marked them both their entire lives. The stronger the smudge grows, the closer the moment of 'impact' becomes.
Murdock's heart is also stained red but the black from his actions and deeds (and intentions) protect it. If Johnny were to keep looking he might see small blots of blue around that red, beneath the black. It's hard to see and well hidden but it's there. I wonder how that got there...
So when I chose purple for Driver initially it was mostly just because purple is the colour I think of when it comes to Driver but thinking about it now (and the other symbolism I've touched on) - what is purple but a mixture of red (pain) and blue (healing). Driver looks at the world and he sees pain, but he sees the potential to grow, at his heart he feels the pain, but he trusts that it is temporary and he will improve. With his hands, he gives pain and violence, but only when he is seeking to protect, to heal broken souls and situations. The thought of Driver being a 'healer' in his own less magical way is just kind of beautiful and would explain why Colt and he are so drawn towards each other as brothers/friends.
Colt is a healer from the skin down. He can heal himself, but he always is seeking to heal, help, and protect others. Even beyond his abilities that is his biggest contribution to the world and why they will be the last part of him to be overwhelmed...
I shall say I associate Colt more with a lighter blue, while the blue that makes Driver's purple being more royal blue kind of colour. But that's just me.
Colours shift and change throughout life but they change with intent, with action. Murdock's colours are the closest to change/shift at the moment, they're right on the cusp and there's hints at it in his colours already, but until he does something/makes a decision/changes perspective, they will not change.
Everyone's colours are capable of shifting. The ones I can definitively confirm will change over the coming chapters are, Murdock, Simon, Courtland (not as much as the others though), Grace, and Colt - there may be others this is just what I can confirm.
WARNINGS - references to disordered eating habits with an implication that it may be being used as a form of self-harm, implications of depression, Colt attempts to purposefully harm himself with the intent of determining if Grace is still alive
Maybe Colt should have thought this through.
Not even two minutes in this universe and he was chased down, tackled, and hauled away. He’s since been locked up in some dingy room. The restraints were removed just long enough to slap on old thick handcuffs hooked around a pipe. The pipe runs from floor to ceiling and Colt can stand or sit but he can’t move more than an arm’s length from the wall. There’s no comfortable way to hold himself. He can stand facing the pipe or he can sit next to it, his hands held towards it; either his legs will cramp or his arms will. Colt’s chosen his arms.
It’s been hours since they locked him in here and he’s no closer to figuring out a way to get free, no idea how to find Grace, and no hope of actually pulling off whatever the fuck it is Ryland is wanting him to do.
Colt leans his head forward before throwing it back, purposefully smacking it against the wall hard. It hurts, a short dull thud that fades quickly, nowhere near the sharper pain he’d been hoping for.
If the cuffs were looser Colt could probably break his wrist; if someone else were here he could antagonise them into punching him or breaking something. He bows his head forward again and throws it back even harder. His vision whites out a little, but it barely makes him dizzy before fading out.
If he can just injure himself enough to track how quickly he heals, at the very least he can confirm that Grace is still alive.
Fuck, he hopes Grace is still alive.
Colt’s head drops in defeat. Some rescue mission this is turning out to be.
Time passes, maybe another half an hour, before the door opens, Colt looking up to see the dark-haired man who’d stared him down walk in. One hand carries a plate with something greyish-brown that looks weird on it, while the other carries a cup.
The man’s eyes glance to the side until the door closes behind him. As it clicks shut, he seems to breathe out, a lot of tension dropping from his shoulders before he crosses the space between them.
Colt shifts but with his back already against the wall there’s nowhere for him to go. He doesn’t know this man, but he knows that face. It’s rougher looking but also softer, an odd kindness in the eyes that he’s never seen before. Still Colt’s stared into that face in the midst of ecstasy too many times not to recognise what has to be 451’s version of Murdock.
The man kneels in front of him.
“I brought you some food,” he indicates his hands.
“I don’t need it.”
Not a whole lie. Theoretically he still needs to eat but it’s not that big a deal when he doesn’t.
When Colt was maybe twenty-six years old, the isolation got pretty bad. Months passed with no one else in the Clubhouse and Colt could barely bring himself to sit up in bed, never mind leave it to make food. Days turned into weeks and ultimately he found out, for better or worse, as long as he could handle the stomach pains, hunger was just something else his body would get over. Twelve weeks he lasted before he finally got his shit together and managed to get some take-out from a place down the road. That food was probably the best damn thing he’d ever eaten at that point.
Placing the plate aside, the man frowns at Colt, “I’m not asking.”
Reaching forward he firmly takes Colt’s chin, holding it in place as he raises the cup to Colt’s lips and tips it up forcing the water into his mouth. After a few moments he lowers the cup smiling.
“See that wasn’t so hard.”
Colt purses his lips and spits. The water sprays across the man’s face, him flinching slightly and frowning at Colt who just glares at him.
The man scowls, glaring back, “Your brother didn’t give me this kind of trouble.”
Colt’s eyes narrow, “What brother?”
“‘May you find Grace in Eden’?” The man drags his hand over his face to wipe the droplets away, “I was trying to be subtle.”
“He’s alive?” Colt’s heart lifts just a little before he realises what Simon called them. He frowns, “I’m not his brother.”
“Please, I’ve seen twins before.”
“Is he okay?” Colt really doesn’t have the energy to argue.
The man stares, looking Colt up and down, a strange sharpness in his eyes as he seems to assess the man before him. “You’re not COI are you?”
“I don’t know what that is.”
The man picks up the thing from the plate, confused as he continues, “You don’t know COI. Grace doesn’t know Eden. Who are you two? What are you even doing here?”
“I’m here to take Grace home. That’s it.”
“Well you’re not going anywhere for a while.” he breaks the greyish-brown thing in half, holding a piece out towards Colt, “Should I even try or will you just bite me?”
Colt stares at whatever is in the man’s hands. He’s not hungry. Okay that’s a lie, he’s incredibly hungry but there’s bigger things going on. He doesn’t have the energy to think about food or eating and what does it matter? He’ll be fine anyway. He looks away.
“Give it to Grace.”
“Fine.” The man puts it down again before grabbing the plate and the cup and hoisting himself to his feet. He kicks at the door with his foot to knock, calling over his shoulder and indicating the room around them, “Good luck with all this.”
The clang as the door shuts behind him resonates around the room and Colt is left alone again.
----------
Grace is sitting in the plaza, staring up through the glass ceiling above the Tree. The view is almost mesmerising.
It’s not the fact it’s space; he’s woken up and stared into the vast emptiness of space before. It’s just how dark it is. On the Hail Mary space wasn’t just black, it had depth and colour to it, swirls of dark blacks and blues as light from billions and billions of stars shone at him from every angle. Not just the bright ones, but the dimmer ones, and the ones you only ever saw in your periphery.
The sky above him now though is almost pure black.
There are some lights, tiny little pinpricks of what can only be the few stars that were so far away when the Quiet Rapture happened that their death hasn’t reached this far yet. The light is years old by now, possibly decades, and they won’t last forever. Slowly they’ll start going out, one by one until eventually there’ll be nothing left. Nothing but the unending darkness. It’s horrifying.
He’s jolted from his thoughts as Simon drops down beside him, sighing in frustration.
“That was a waste of time.”
“What happened?”
“He spat the water in my face and as for the food,” Simon reaches into his pocket and pulls out half of the food he’d tried to give to Colt, “He said to give it to you.”
Grace opens his mouth but the firm glare Simon levels at him silences his protest, taking the greyish-brown thing and taking a bite. It’s awful as always but this one makes his stomach knot a little more than usual.
Colt has difficulty accepting help at the best of times. That’s why he had to force Colt to join him on the Mary. He’d never have gone otherwise. The idiot seems to think that because he can bounce back from almost anything that he doesn’t matter. Oh, next time he sees Colt he’s going to punch him.
“He also said he’s here to take you home which gives us not very much time to bring you two together and get you out of here.”
“Wait, what?”
“Clearly-”
“Brother!” A voice calls and they turn, Grace instinctually pulling his hood down as the figure approaches.
Firm purposeful strides. It’s a young man, scruffy short brown hair, long-limbed and wrapped in brown clothing that flaps behind him as he moves. Simon stands, stepping to meet him while Grace just watches quietly.
They talk back and forth but Grace can’t make out the words. Simon is tense, glancing over to him before saying something to the other person who rushes off.
“Stay there,” Simon calls to him, jabbing a very deliberate finger at him, “don’t move.”
Grace has the sense not to question it as Simon leaves. Too many people and he’s supposed to be observing this ‘vow of silence’ or something.
It takes a while but eventually Simon returns. His entire demeanour has changed, his body stiff, steps purposeful, face stern and avoidant as he stops in front of Grace. Something’s clearly wrong.
“What is it?”
“Father has passed judgement.”
“….what?”
“Your brother has been labelled an imminent danger to Eden and will be made an example of along with the traitors who sent him.”
“But no one sent h-”
Simon covers Grace’s mouth again to silence him.
“Eden doesn’t care,” There’s a darkness in his eyes that Grace doesn’t recognise. Something that speaks to the silent anger that burns beneath the surface. Simon stares directly through him as he speaks, “Father’s been planning this for months, he’s just been waiting for something to strike the match and your brother was just what he needed.”
Grace reaches for the hand on his mouth, pulling the fingers away just enough to speak softly.
“So what do we do?”
“We might be able to save him,” Simon mutters, “but our window of opportunity just shrank to a keyhole and grew spikes.”
