#sharkweak2

[thecraggus]

The Last Sharknado: It's About Time (2018) #SharkWeak2 Review

It's all been leading to this: The Last Sharknado: It's About Time (2018) #SharkWeak2 #Review

So it’s come to this: The Last Sharknado. Can I get that in writing?

Me and the Sharknado films have had quite the trajectory. At first I was like: ‘this is a joke’. Then I was like, ‘No, seriously, is this a joke?’ And then I was like ‘okay, that was actually pretty funny’ followed by ‘okay, guys, enough now’ and then, finally, ‘oh, for fucks sake’ so I approached this one with the weary sense…

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[thecraggus]

House Shark (2017) #SharkWeak2 Review

House Shark (2017) achieves the impossible: it's a bad shark movie that's actually really, really great. #SharkWeak2 #Review

Once in a while, you come across a film which completely upends any assumptions or expectations you have. As I crawl wearily to the end of this far too long stretch of bad shark movies for #SharkWeak2, “House Shark” has done just that. It may be a cheap, nonsensical under-funded Indiegogoproject but it’s also a hilarious, savage satire on the bad shark movie genre with genuinely good, albeit…

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[thecraggus]

Empire Of The Sharks (2017) #SharkWeak2 Review

Your journey towards the shark side is nearly complete... Empire Of The Sharks (2017) #SharkWeak2 #Review

“Empire Of The Sharks” scores an early win with a mention of ‘trained ninja sharks’, a formidable weapon on a post-apocalyptic, flooded ecosystem. A biosphere covered entirely in water. An oceanic globe. An aquatic planet. Hmm. If only there was an easy way of saying it…

On a future earth where 98% of the surface is underwater, a Warlord who controls an army of sharks meets his match when he…

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[thecraggus]

Shark Exorcist (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

The power of Christ compels you to avoid Shark Exorcist (2016) #SharkWeak2 #Review

This weird, excruciatingly badly made movie opens on a nun walking through a graveyard while a newscast voiceover reports a local nun accused of murdering and torturing thirteen local boys and girls. It’s one of a number of things the movie talks about but never shows us. But given the quality of what it does show us, we should count our blessings.

When a murderous nun summons Satan to a small…

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[thecraggus]

Ice Sharks (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

Ice Sharks (2016) has a legitimate scientific reason for taking the piss. #SharkWeak2 #Review

When an arctic research station finds itself under attack from aggressive sharks and the break up of the ice shelf its built on, the crew must struggle against the odds to survive long enough to be rescued.

There’s a lot that’s confused about this Asylum production and yet its one of few bad shark movies to incorporate some real scientific fact amidst the shoddy CGI and wooden acting. Admittedly,…

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[thecraggus]

Atomic Shark (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

Atomic Shark (2016) is a real bomb. #SharkWeak2 #Review

There’s no denying the ambition of this frankly barmy entry in the sharksploitation oeuvre, opening as it does with an ominous montage of underwater scenes intercut with Cold War newsreel footage and Robert Oppenheimer quotes. It’s the closest we get to a real explanation of how the shark became nuclear, so just go with it.

When a radioactive shark which burns as it bites and even causes people…

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[thecraggus]

Mega Shark vs Kolossus (2015) #SharkWeak2 Review

Mega Shark vs Kolossus (2015) is a kolossal waste of time and energy. #SharkWeak2 #Review

Sometime in the future, the world has yet to recover from the last mega shark attack. A voiceover tells us that the near total halt of global shipping plus a general avoidance of the coast and water by the population of the world has had a devastating economic impact. We’re told this over footage of a packed Rio De Janeiro beach.

Meanwhile, a Russian trawler inadvertently recovers a megalodon…

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[thecraggus]

Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark (2014) #SharkWeak2 Review

Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark (2014) has a licence Teal'c kill. #SharkWeak2 #Review

Previously, on “Mega Shark vs…”, our fishy anti-hero and his reptilian rival were poached to death by an underwater volcano, and it would appear that was indeed that. But fear not, a drought in the Mediterranean has prompted an entrepreneur to tow an iceberg to the afflicted area but – wouldn’t you know it – the iceberg contained yet another frozen megalodon. Thanks to the balmy Mediterranean…

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