#shatteredcrystalwings

[behrwithme]

This one is my favourite. Because the lighting is bad, we’re the audience, no one needs to see us. The camera was shaky bu we’re both smiling. I still feel so happy about having gone to this. Thank you Ennis.

[behrwithme]

I'm just gonna scroll through ennis's blog until vae tells me

Ennis my Quing, answer meeeee

[behrwithme]

MY QUING OF ANIME HAS DECIDED

IT SHALL BE SUBBED

THANK YOU HEATHER/ENNIS

AND YES I SAID QUING, THE INTERNET SAYS THIS IS A GENDER NEUTRAL FORM OF MIXING QUEEN AND KING

SUCK IT MOTHA FUCKAAAAS

[behrwithme]

Reasons why my best friend and I have the catch phrase "This is why people think we're dating"

We plan out platonic fancy dates

We hang off each other

We are affectionate

We feed each other food in public

We hold hands sometimes

We’re almost always together

I honestly look lost when vaes not around

Vae just cheers me up being around vaer

We eat food off each others plates

Platonic cuddling

No fear in the public boob and butt touches

Because come on people, boobs and butts right there

I tend to put my hand on vaers leg

I put my arm around vaes shoulders and waist 

We talk about everything

I cook for vaer when I go over to vaers house

I cook for vaer when vae comes over

Vae and I have seen each other topless numerous times

Vae visits me in class and walks me to class sometimes

I get to walk vaer to class sometimes too

If one of us needs to go get a snack or drink at school, even if its like three feet away, either will tend to go with the other

We run a club a tea club together (how much gayer can this even get???)

I get jealous when vae has other friends even though I know I shouldn’t, but it’s kinda like *hiss hiss no my friend*, but I want vaer to be happy, and since we’ve become friends, vae has improved in vaers mental health a lot, goes out more in comfortable environments and just generally seems to be a happier person. So I know making friends is good.

All in all Heather is the best friend I could hope for. Vae is here for me when I need vaer and vae is always willing to listen to me when I rant or when I cry. Even if vae isn’t sure what to do when I cry, what vae does is always enough. 

Sorry this kinda turned into a list about how much I love vaer, and how great vae is.

Did I mention that our pronouns and names go together? No? Okay well its really a great story. My name means “Gift from god” or “Close to God” and vaers pronouns stem from angels. Where do angels come from? Generally in myth, god. Heather is a type of flower (its also one of my favourite types of flowers but I’ve never told vaer that. It’s likely vae will see this, p.s. it’s one of my favourite types of flowers because they’re really tall and lots of purple!) and my pronouns stem from the word faeries. What do faeries like? Flowers. 

[behrwithme]

I was talking with my platonic life partner Heather

And vae was telling me about Pansy Clubs. They were pretty much just like prohibition bars, but they were secret gay clubs that were held underground *much like the clubs that sold alcohol* and they operated in secret *much like the clubs that sold alcohol*. They also happened around the same time.

Anyway vae was telling me about them, and I just kinda started laughing in the parking lot of my bank because I thought of a really BAD pun, so I apologized for laughing and offered to vaer to tell vaer.

And it was just a really bad play on words, but I keep remembering it and it makes me laugh, because it was so bad. 

Anyway my pun was the fact that it was like an Under Ground Gayl Road. Yes it had nothing to do with slavery, but just the fact that it was held underground made me think of that.

I just wanted to share is all.

[behrwithme]

I just remembered something

The other day while I was over at Heathers house, vaer mum B was talking to vaer and I. 

B suggested that Heather and I go out to a bar because it was St Patties weekend and it would be fun.

Heather corrected her saying I was still 17

And vaes mum just goes "well why don't you have a fake for that?"

These are the reasons I love Heathers mum <3 she compliments our alcohol choices, asks me why I don't have a fake, gives us money for dinner, tells Heather to take me someplace fancy, and pretty much just hardcore ships us.

Heather is my platonic life partner, and we're pretty much super connected (even with our names and pronouns. Vaer name is a flower and my pronoun is about faeries, while my name means something like "Is it like god" and vaer pronouns are embodied after angels.), we share a lot of interests and can talk about anything.

I couldn't ask for a better best friend and vaer family. 

[behrwithme]

I just realized

The day after White Day, my bestfriend and I both exchanged chocolate without realizing it. 

This is the cutest thing to have happened to me! Vae is the cutest person, and I lover Vaer to bits! 

[queernoctis]

✫

23. Band!AU

Im using this to mean ‘High School Band AU’ because WHY NOT also because my school band has an upright bass so i don’t think a Cello is too far out of the question.

—-

Shinji sighs, pulling his bow away from his cello’s strings in the middle of a piece.

Kaworu, who had been studying at the desk in the small practice room, loooks up, but Shinji doesn’t meet their gaze, only looks down at the floor. For whatever reason, he feels ashamed. He hates that sees him like this, or even sees him at all. He’s even ashamed because he KNOWS feeling like this is silly, but it still happens.

“Shinji? Is something wrong?” Kaworu asks, sound prim and proper and perfect, like usual.

Shinji fidgets. Like usual.

“No it’s … it’s nothing.” And it really isn’t. Shinji is just kind of tired and sad. Like Usual.

He hears Kaworu move but doesn’t look up. Doesn’t look at Kaworu at all until Kaworu is kneeling in front of him, taking his hand.

“Are you sure?”

Kaworu looks right into his eyes, their gaze soft and lovely and warm. It still seems so noteworthy and amazing. Even though it’s usual. Shinji sighs again.

“I don’t know, I just … ” His fingers drum awkwardly on the cello strings. A nervous habit. “I guess I don’t really know what I’m doing here. I’m not as good as you or the other kids in band, so why am I here?”

“Hmm, I’m afraid I have to disagree,” Kaworu says, their thumb rubbing over Shinji’s hand. They’ve done that so many times, but somehow it’s still relaxing. “I find your playing to be exceptional, Shinji-kun.”

Shinji blushes, in spite of himself. “I’m sure you would do a lot better than me, though.” He sighs again, looking down at the floor. “You can do anything … “

Kaworu hums again before standing, still holding on to Shinji’s hand. “Do you really believe that?”

Shinji nods. Kaworu finally lets go of his hand.

“Shall we try it, then?”

Shinji looks up at him, surprised. “What?”

“If you have so much faith in my hypothetical skill, I would like to try playing your cello.”

Shinji blinks at them, trying to figure out if they’re being serious. Of course, Kaworu is always so gently serious when it comes to Shinji. He fidgets again. Kaworu was bound to be perfect at playing without even trying, and Shinji didn’t know what he would do if he had that fact thrown right in his face. Still, he finds himself nodding. “Um …okay.”

He stands, handing the bow and cello to Kaworu as they take his position. Shinji sits on the chair Kaworu had been occupying previously and watches as Kaworu settles themselves, looking beautiful and ethereal and perfect.

And holding the bow wrong.

And shifting around, trying to hold the cello comfortably.

They tries to play with their fingers moving awkwardly over the strings, and the bow sliding awkwardly across them due to their incorrect grip. They try to play the cello part of Canon in D, the notes coming out awkward and stilted. Shinji can’t help but chuckle, then laugh. Kaworu pauses their playing, looking up at him.

“See? You have much more talent than I do at this. Perhaps you can have faith in your own abilities now?”

Shinji shrugs. He smiles, just a bit. “Mm, maybe. I mean, you probably would be better than me if you had as much practice. . “

“Would you teach me?”

Shinji blinks again, his face turning red at the thought. Leaning over Kaworu, adjusting his stance and hold on the instrument…  He swallows down the thought before it starts to go in embarrassing directions. “U-uhm…d-do you really want me to teach you?”

Kaworu nods enthusiastically. “Of course! I believe you could teach me a lot about playing the cello!”

Shinji is certainly blushing now. He nods slowly, trying not to wobble as he stands up. He moves to stand behind Kaworu, trying to ignore the sound of his heart pounding in his ears when he reaches to adjust their hands.

“W-well first, you’re um …you’re holding the bow wrong. You don’t hold it the same as with a violin . .”

They pass the rest of the afternoon that right, Kaworu playing small sections of pieces on the cello with Shinji correcting and guiding them. Shinji adjusting their hands and Kaworu stealing kisses when he does. When the sun starts to set behind the horizon, Shinji takes the cello and Kaworu home with him.