#behrroars

[behrwithme]

I miss you, some nights

When my heart aches, for hands to hold

Craves music from your mouth,

A symphony of sound and melody.

Mascara streaks down my cheeks

A small rain cloud drip dropping

Heavy winds dry up this

Human made precipitation

Is progress creating a spring shower

Instead of a thunderstorm?

[behrwithme]

I'm so close to letting go of this. Not caring that you left me for someone else. Cause honestly, fuck you, that was a dirty move. I'm okay with that. I'm okay because I know I can trust my gut. Every little thing I had worried about happened. You cheated with two of my ex's. Stayed as my primary longer than you wanted because we lived together. And you lied about how you wouldn't abandon me. All these things have helped me shift your place in my heart. I still love you, I still care for you, but you showed me where I stand in your heart, so I moved you in mine. I know I played my own part in this, expecting a life with you, being unstable, letting the paranoia over take me and help make my fears real. I'm going to be okay because you were right, I do deserve better. I deserve to have someone who wants to be there for me. I deserve to have someone who remembers to pick up condoms and pregnancy tests, not someone who never pays for those things. I deserve to have someone that sees me as the blessing I am, because I'm fucking loyal, and caring, and so sweet. I deserve to be happy. I'm getting there on my own.

[behrwithme]

A compilation of selfies from the start of the summer 💋

[behrwithme]

Highlight of a date I went on, on Wednesday

He's 6'8 and my 6' ass can finally be a "lapdog" (Until this date, I've been "the Labrador that thinks it's a lapdog", because no one let's me sit on them.)

[behrwithme]

Some selfies 😄 (They/them)

[behrwithme]

When you struggling because your primary is with a new partner and they said they'd text you but you knew they wouldn't do it nearly as frequently as they text the new partner when you have evenings together. And then you were right. So you're sitting by your lame ass self trying to remember that they love you, but you still crying those lonely tears. And you know they'd just say that we live together so it's unavoidable that some of the time we spend together is shared with others. And then you remember that you leave for a trip in less than a week but they didn't wanna spend your last night with you and would rather be at a party with the new partner. And so you hate yourself for your insecurities, because you want them to be happy, but you just end up picturing them loving each other and being happy af without you instead Poly is so hard sometimes but I know it's right for me, I just wish it didn't hurt so much

[behrwithme]

Smol vent, Tw assault

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So a few months back, I went to a "friends" party, where he got incredibly intoxicated.

Being that I'm so nice, I tried to take care of him. He ended up assaulting me that night (thank god I was mostly sober and I'm strong) and a short while later I told him what he did.

He was very apologetic, and told me he would take steps to ensure that never happened again. I agreed that he didn't have to inform all his friends (the two we shared I said he didn't have to tell as he was concerned they would stop being his friend for reasonable reasons)

But now I'm wondering if that was the best idea. As it stands, those two friends haven't made contact with me in awhile, and I haven't been invited to do anything.

I feel kinda like shit because I really liked those two and now I'm worried someone else's fuck up that ended up hurting me (and still hurts me) has taken away two good friends of mine...

I'm frustrated because I can't even look at photos of that group without remembering him on top of me begging me to have sex.

And I just don't know what to do... Do I reach out and ask them what they know? Do I just relinquish those friendships to him? :c It took so much energy to even be able to tell him he assaulted me and begged me to fuck him for like four hours straight, and not allowed me to sleep during that time. I don't know if I even want to bother talking to them all again 😢

[behrwithme]

Im so mad why is my tumblr dash so lit between 5-7 and the morning