Today I’m thinking about Depa Billaba and her experience with depression in both legends and canon.
In legends she goes on a mission to the planet Haruun Kal during the early Clone Wars, and there she turns to the dark side. It isn’t because she wants power, it’s because she despairs over the horrors of war. She’s constantly plagued by nightmares and migraines and she’s barely able to get out of bed. Her despair leads her to commit atrocities, and she even duels her former master Mace Windu during a final battle for Haruun Kal. Realising what she has become, she places her lightsaber to her head and tries to kill herself. At the last second she’s stopped but she falls into a comatose state from which she never wakes. Mace says that selfishly he would’ve rather lost the battle of Haruun Kal if it meant he could’ve saved Depa. She was his Padawan, his best friend, and the daughter he’d never have.
In canon Depa also goes to Haruun Kal during the Clone Wars, but instead of turning to the dark side she suffers a great defeat at the hands of general Grievous. She loses 90% of her battalion on top of receiving life threatening injuries herself, which leads to her falling into a coma. After six long months she’s finally woken up by the precence of a young Caleb Dume. Whispers go around the temple and in the army that she’s now ”damaged goods” incapable of leading soldiers in battle. Depa of course feels guilt and responsibility for the lives lost on Haruun Kal. It’s the presence of Caleb Dume, the youngling she now takes on as an apprentice, which reignites hope and purpose in her life. Even if their time as master and padawan is cut short because of order 66, Depa’s legacy and teachings live on in Caleb, now Kanan Jarrus, as well as in his own padawan Ezra Bridger.
In legends there is no Caleb Dume, Depa never wakes up, Mace never gets his daughter back and their legacy dies alongside the Jedi order.
