We Lost Us
Mini series requested by: @verylandcolorwagon
Word count: 1,505
Angst
8 years. I’ve spent 8 years of my life with Shawn Mendes. Not particularly the way I wanted, but as a very close best friend. 3 of the years were spent wishing he loved me the way I loved him.
We did everything together; we went to the movies, award shows, doctors, parents house, and just about anywhere with each other. Then she happened... Abigail.
Abigail was an associated person in Shawn’s career friend group, somewhere down the line she knew Teddy. No one really liked her, which is hard for me to say considering I love almost everyone, but I just knew something was up the minute she walked into our lives.
Anyways, she hardly cared about a thing Shawn did, she just knew he was strictly famous and hot. The only time she appreciated Shawn’s career was when it was time for her to be in the spotlight with him, loving the flashing lights and curious eyes.
I’ve never felt like she was the perfect fit, and to be honest I knew she didn’t like me as well.
She knew I was Shawn’s best friend and that was never something she wanted. I couldn’t help the fact that I had known him for so long, trust me I know it seems suspicious.
She always made sure to be lovey-dovey with Shawn around to ensure I’d leave. She would give me the nastiest looks and if I tried to be polite she’d scoff. I mean I’ve met some mean fans or so-called fans, but she’s a whole new breed.
“Are you going to stare at the ceiling the whole time?” Shawn’s voice boomed beside my ear, it was loud mostly because I had been laying down with him. He had his head tucked inside the crease of my neck. “Sorry, just thinking,” I admit and he lifts his head up slightly.
“I’m okay.” I fake smile, but it hurt a lot. It hurt to lay here knowing that it’s been 3 weeks without seeing him, it’ll probably be longer next time. He always had something to do with Abigail, which is fine, I don’t control his life.
It burned holes into me because he would promise to show up, miss it, and the text me telling me about someplace Abi made him go. So I was now #2 in his life, he had already found someone and I wasn’t her.
“You’re hiding something from me.” He prods and I shrug. “I’ve just really missed you, it’s almost been a month since we’ve hung out.” I lie, well kind of, but it didn’t matter. He’d just apologize and tell me that it’s been hectic.
And I was right, it was almost word for word when he spoke. “No need to apologize, you’ve been happy and that’s all I ask for.” I look over to home with a smile, he seemed to believe it. “How’s your mom doing?” I sighed loudly. “She got out of the hospital yesterday.”
“You never mentioned it! If I would’ve known, I would’ve shown up.” He admits and I laughed, I sent him a message and he never answered. “Nothing you could’ve done to help,” I mumble, turning my body slightly to face him.
“I could’ve been there for you.” He pouts, I laughed a little to myself. “She was only having her routine dialysis appointment. Plus, you were with Abigail, I saw your Snapchat, I wouldn’t interrupt.” I put on another fake smile to hide my pain. He’d choose her any day.
“Shawn I’m home!” Abi’s voice yelled through the house, I tumbled off the bed quickly, Shawn didn’t even seem concerned. “Oh, she’s here,” Abigail said when she saw me in the room. “Hey, I was just leaving.” I smile and she rolled her eyes, I looked to see if Shawn saw it but he was on his phone.
“Okay, bye!” She had a hard time faking her excitement in seeing me leave. “Wait, you’re going? You can stay for supper.” Shawn leaped forward but I shook my head. “I’ll see myself out, bye Shawn, Abigail.” I start to walk off. “I’ll walk you out!” Abi exclaimed happily.
We got to the front door, my nerves were shot at this point. “Bye Abi.” I walk over the threshold. “Oh, and Y/n, if you ever pull that shit again about being in our bed, I’ll end you. Plus, isn’t it almost time to leave this dainty crush in the past, can’t you tell that Shawn has been continuously choosing me. He doesn’t want you, he’s been my boyfriend for a while now and he hasn’t batted an eye for you, it’s time to move on.” She slammed the door in my face, I didn’t think my heart could hurt but feel so much anger all at once.
——-
Almost another month had passed, I didn’t reach out to Shawn at all. I couldn’t bring myself to feel that hurt again, knowing Abigail was right about what she said. I was insignificant to his life.
So I took him off Snapchat to avoid their faces, unfollowed his Instagram and took it off my phone to ignore the comments on the pictures or to see them. It hurt more than anything I’d ever faced with him, we’d have fights and disagreements but we always came back together.
The phone rang beside me in the passenger seat, I reach over to grab it. When I picked it up, I saw my moms face on the screen. “Hey, mom.” I put the phone on speaker. “Hey baby, are you still meeting me at the dialysis appointment?” She asks and I smile a little. “Of course, on my way now.”
“Okay, we’ll be careful.” She hung up and I sighed a little, deciding to use my Bluetooth to play some songs on my phone. I was maneuvering the panels and all, Aftertaste playing because it was first on my phone. My heart aching some.
I went to put my phone into its holder when I heard loud screeching tires, then a horn to follow. Before I know it, my car was hit full force and my head hit the steering wheel before the airbag even had the chance to deploy. My head felt funny before it slammed back into the headrest. The pain started to radiate down my body, my hip hurt and my ankle was throbbing.
I tried to unbuckle but my seatbelt was stuck, I was pulling so hard before my vision became a little blurry. “No, no, no.” I was yanking at the belt. “Ma’am, are you-“
——-
Part two????? Probably
