( primeiro imagine postado aqui vindo diretamente do watt, espero que gostem - aceitando pedidos ) - desculpe se tiver erros
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Infelizmente hoje eu acordei muito gripada, com o nariz escorrendo e tossindo várias vezes
O que mais está me preocupando é que shawn iria vir aqui, e agora do jeito que eu estou é melhor deixá-lo em casa sozinho mesmo
Não quero correr o risco de fazer meu namorado que é um cantor ter que parar a tour por ficar tossindo no meio da música
E foi só pensar nele que o bendito já estava me ligando
- oi amor - respondi assim que atendi a ligação
- oi linda, sua voz tá mais fina você tá bem? - ele respondeu
Que fofinho ele reparou
- eu peguei uma gripe shawnie, não vai dar mais pra você vir aqui - respondi com a voz manhosa
- e por que não vou pode ir aí pra cuidar da minha namorada?
- você pode acabar pegando também e é bem provável que estrague seus shows - o respondi
- mais meu amor você está doente eu não posso te deixar sozinha nessas condições - ele retrucou tentando ter razão
- e eu não posso correr o risco de você ficar gripado, sei o quanto gosta de cantar e ficar afastado com certeza não é algo que você deseja, ou é?
- ninguém gosta de ficar assim S/n, ainda mais sozinha em casa e sem um namorado pra fazer uma sopinha - ele respondeu forçando a voz pra ficar com o tom mais fofo no final
- não é pra você vir e acabou, melhor um doente do que dois - sentenciei e acabei a conversa
- tudo bem, mais você vai ter que ficar me atualizando de como está a cada cinco minutos tudo bem? - respondeu preocupado
- Tabom amor, te vejo pessoalmente quando melhorar e espero que seja logo - sussurei a última parte
- eu tambem amor, não esqueça das mensagens
Murmurei um tchau e terminamos a ligação, como não tinha nada mais interessante pra fazer decidi pegar um livro qualquer pra ler
Não deu nem 20 minutos e bateram na minha porta e que quando abri tive uma surpresa
- o que está fazendo aqui shawn?
- vim ajudar meu amorzinho - respondeu e já foi entrando em casa com sacolas de farmácia e mercado
E mais uma vez percebi que não adianta contrariar o shawn quando ele quer fazer algo
Hey y’all! Sooo, quick preface: This is my first time writing smut, so it’s probably god awful, but I tried my best on it, so let’s hope it’s not “rip out your eyes” awful, yeah? I would love feedback on how I could improve! Thanks so much, xoxo - el
Genre: Smut
Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader
Length: 2.3k words
Warnings: uh, sex, language, you know. the works.
The music playing through the speakers pounded in your ears, mixing with the consistent hum of people talking around you. You’re not entirely sure what you’re doing here, at this party, but you knew one thing: you were bored out of your mind. Your best friend, Olivia, had forced you to join her at this party, only to disappear as soon as the lights went low. You stared into your daiquiri, letting your finger trail around the rim, wishing you were anywhere else.
“Another gin and tonic?”
“You think I’d ever say no to that, Brian?”
You suddenly halted your movements, bringing your eyes up from your drink and trailing them toward the voice you’d know anywhere. The room was dark, but you recognized him as soon as you caught sight of him, his hair just the right amount of messy, curls staying together perfectly, save for one hanging in front his of face. You slowly smiled, remembering how it felt to have your fingers tangled in those curls, to tug at them and listen to him groan in your ear as he hit just the right spot to make you lose all control. You glanced back down at your drink, smirked, and quickly threw back the remaining amount of liquid. You grabbed a wine cooler, and made your way toward him.
“I can’t believe what I’m seeing with my own two eyes right now, Shawn Mendes, perfect angel and absolute doll,” You gasped, feigning surprise. He chuckled lowly, turning away from his friend to look at you. From the corner of your eye, you could see Brian wander off somewhere else.
“I can see you’ve not changed one bit,” He commented, smirking at you. He gestured at the Gucci belt you adorned on your waist and the Yves Saint Laurent clutch you held in your perfectly manicured hand. “Still a spoiled bitch then, huh?” You rolled your eyes.
“Good observational skills, Mr. Mendes. I’ll have to add that to the list of things everyone loves about you.”
You and Shawn had quite the history, really. You met him while you were in college, and you were instantly drawn to his good-boy image and how positively lovely everyone seemed to find him. The two of you began hooking up, and the adrenaline rush of watching the known “perfect little angel” walk around your apartment with scratch marks trailing down his back and hickeys covering his chest from the night before became addicting. You loved the high of catching him after one of his tutoring sessions (of course he was a fucking tutor) and him pushing you against the brick wall of the music building where he knew no one could see the two of you, fucking you on his fingers, whispering the most sinful things in your ear as you came undone for him. Unfortunately, the bliss of having him as your friend with benefits didn’t last long. You found the two of you getting extremely close. You would spend more and more time together, time that wasn’t only spent on sex, and you panicked. You weren’t ready for a relationship, so you left. You ignored his calls, his texts, whenever you saw him around campus, you’d quickly turn the other way. You simply disappeared from his life without a warning. You’d heard plenty of rumors though, so you knew how much he resented you for it.
“You always loved that, didn’t you? Loved the fact that the good boy fucked you better than anyone else ever could? You got off on it,” He paused to take a sip of his drink, not breaking eye contact with you over the cup. “You’re the one who left, though. Even though you knew, no, you know, I treated you like a princess. Every. Single. Time.” You could feel an all too familiar heat growing between your legs, the feeling you knew only he could get out of you, and let the alcohol take over your decisions. You scoffed at him, leaning closer to his ear, not missing the way he looked over your boobs that were practically spilling out of your shirt. As you moved closer into him, you let your hand trail up his jean clad thigh, hooking your finger through one of his belt loops.
“Why don’t you prove to me you still can, angel?” You whispered, your lips grazing his ear as you pulled away.
He didn’t hesitate to grab hold of your wrist, pulling you after him as he weaved through the crowds of people. You could feel the curious stares of people as you walked out the door, but you didn’t care. All that currently occupied your mind were the fingers wrapped around your wrist, pulling you into the uber.
To say the ride to Shawn’s apartment was excruciating would be an understatement. By the time you stumbled in the apartment building and made your way to the elevator, you were almost fucking shaking.
“You know, I can practically feel you staring at my ass right now,” You scoffed, beginning to turn to look at him behind you, but the elevator dinged to signal it’s arrival. You walked in, swaying your hips, and you turned to look at him. However, before you could get a good look at him, you felt your back press against the cool wall, and a hand snake around your throat.
“Is that so, Princess?” He whispered, before pressing his lips roughly to yours. You don’t hesitate to tangle your fingers in his hair, whimpering as he lets his hands trail from your neck down your side and to your ass, feeling you under his palm, grabbing at you harshly and needily. You could feel his hard length pressing against your thigh, and you revelled in the sigh that escaped his lips when you ground into him. When the elevator doors opened again, he pulled you in front of him, your ass flush with his hips, his fingers digging into your skin. He didn’t stop kissing your neck, rolling his hips into yours, guiding you toward his door while he licked and nipped at your skin as if it were oxygen and he was drowning. You knew your neck was going to be covered in hickeys, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to stop him.
“Shawn, people are going to see us,” You spoke quietly, biting your lip to contain the moans that threatened to spill over your lips. He groaned, pulling you closer into him as he fumbled with the lock of his door.
“I don’t fucking care.”
Once you were in the apartment, you pulled away from him, bending over to slip off your shoes, fully aware of the gaze Shawn held on you. He wasted no time on leading you to his bedroom, and pulling your lips to his once again. The kiss was hungry, teeth clashing and you knew your lips would be swollen, but you didn’t care. He let his hand trail back to your ass, squeezing twice before pulling away from you.
“Strip,” He said, crossing his arms. You could have laughed.
“Oh, fuck off, Mendes. What?” You asked, crossing your arms as well.
“I said,” He inched closer, then grabbed a handful of your hair, and pulled harshly. “strip.” You gasped when he pulled your hair, mouth agape as you were forced to look at him. He only released his grip when you began undoing your belt, peeling your too-tight jeans off your legs. You wasted no time relieving yourself of your shirt, throwing your bra to some corner of the room, noticing that during your haste to get undressed, he’d discarded his clothes as well. You took the moment of peace to sit on the bed and take the sight of him in. You let your eyes shamelessly run over him, his toned chest and his abs, good god, those abs. You swear those abs alone could get you soaking. You dared to let your gaze travel even lower, falling on the prominent bulge contained in his boxers. You almost drool at the sight.
“Look at you,” Shawn said, crawling over you, forcing you to lay underneath him. “Underneath me again, looking like a little whore.” He brought his calloused hand up the inside of your thigh before resting it on your heat. You gasped and lifted your hips, silently begging for more. “God, princess, you’re fucking soaked,” He chuckled, slipping his fingers under the waistline of your black lace panties, pulling them down your legs. Shawn spent no more time teasing, pushing two of his fingers inside of you without warning, making you whine at the unexpected stretch. You instinctively closed your legs at the feeling, but Shawn brought his hand down on your thigh harshly. “Spread your legs, baby, I want to see how wet I’ve got you.”
You moan loudly, the feeling of Shawn’s fingers rubbing against your spot roughly making you dizzy with pleasure. You let your eyes roll back, but then you felt his mouth on your nipple, and you swear you see stars. Shawn lets his tongue swirl around the swollen nub before closing his lips around it and grazing his teeth against it.
“Jesus, Shawn,” You gasp, digging your nails into his shoulders. “Just fuck me, I’m not going to break,” You whimpered, lifting your hips to meet his hand. He brought his hand down on the inside of your thigh once again, groaning lowly. Shawn pulled his fingers from your heat, maintaining eye contact with you as he brought his fingers to his mouth, tasting you. When he was finished licking his fingers clean, he finally peeled the last piece of his clothing from his body, leaving the two of you completely exposed to each other. He wrapped his tattooed hand around his cock, the beauty of the swallow tattoo contrasted by the filthiness of the situation. He lined himself up with your entrance, teasing your folds with the tip of his hard length, watching the way your body squirms underneath him.
“You still taste so sweet for me, you know that?” He groaned before pushing himself into you with no warning, bottoming out. The moans the erupted from the two of you were everything but subtle, your bodies making up for the years without the other’s intoxicating touch. “Still so fucking tight around me,” Shawn spoke, lifting your leg so it rested atop his shoulder, pounding into you even harder. Your hands were moving rapidly, trying to find something, anything to hold onto, and eventually, your fingers curled into the pillow under you. He was fucking you quickly and deeply, his hard cock hitting you in just the right spot, making you cry out.
“Fuck, Shawn, fuck, please, please, please don’t stop,” You whimpered, your voice high pitched and whining, your eyes screwed shut as you buried your face in your arm. Shawn brought his hand from your leg to your throat, squeezing slightly.
“Look at me, look at who’s fucking you like this,” He growled. “Who’s fucking you like this, like the little slut you are?”
“Yo-you, Shawn,” You gasped, forcing yourself to keep your eyes open to look at him. His face was flushed, his sweaty curls stuck to his forehead, and his features were hard and sharp. He squeezed around your throat again, not completely pleased with your answer.
“Who’s making you feel so good, honey? Who’s pussy is this?”
“Fuck, you, you are, it’s yours, daddy,” You moaned, remembering just how much he loves to have control. The way his hard thrusts quickly became sloppy proved your memory correct. You knew he was going to cum soon. Shawn’s hand moved from your throat to between your legs, his fingers rubbing harsh circles on your clit. You were a writhing mess underneath him at this point, your words becoming mindless babbles as you lost yourself in pleasure. “I-I’m gonna cum, Shawn, daddy, please keep going, fucking hell, please.”
Your body was shaking uncontrollably, and Shawn leaned back in close to you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, surprisingly tender, leaving you shocked. You quickly forget about it, though, as he attached his lips to yours while you came undone beneath him. Your nails dragged down his back, inevitably leading to marks that would stay until the morning, and you swear you cum harder at the thought. He groans loudly as he cums, spilling inside of you, thrusting into you through his high.
“Fuck,” He groans, pulling out from you. You wince at the loss, watching him disappear into the bathroom you didn’t notice before. After a few moments, he returned with a towel, silently making his way toward you, looking at you for confirmation. You nodded, letting him clean you up. When he finishes, you can feel the bed dip beside you. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” You breathe, not moving.
It’s silent. You contemplate getting up and leaving, but you had no idea what to do. Do you leave? Do you say something? Hey, thanks for the fuck, see you! Also, sorry for ditching you a while ago, it happens though! Just as you were about to get up and quickly get dressed, preparing for your walk of shame, he spoke.
“Why did you leave?” You froze.
“It’s a long story, to be completely honest,” You spoke, rolling onto your side to look at him. You studied his profile, feeling a familiar ache in your chest, reminding you exactly of why you left. He turned his head and stared at you for a moment.
“Stay the night? We can talk about it over breakfast,” He whispered, you suddenly becoming hyper-aware of the close proximity between the two of you. You ran through the possibilities in your head, thinking of all the negatives that could come from this. You could fall again, your heart could break, you could be made a fool. Or, you could wake up to him in the morning and let it happen.
“Okay,” You whispered, and pressed your lips to his.
authors note: :et me know what you think, this is the longest thing I’ve ever written and I would LOVE some feedback! It’s also not proof-read so if there’s any errors jumping out at you, take it easy on me! :)
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"Road trippin, summertime livin' with your hands out kissin' the wind," she sang out loud to no one but her shower. As she was dancing around to the music playing through her speakers, she started to hear him too.
"Yeah, let's roll with it, radio kick it louder we're at it again," the unknown voice sang out the lyrics through the wall. Y/n didn't know whether to be freaked out or completely enamored by the voice. Deciding to go with the latter and just enjoy the chance to finally have a duet, she continued on with her singing too.
Later that week, y/n was completely drained. Work had taken it all out of her. Her awful and degrading boss let them know that they were behind on finishing their research and in order for the team to meet their deadline, y/n needed to put in extra hours in order to make sure all of the codings was finished. She thought that working with her favorite psychology professor on his research would be the best way to spend her summer and still get ahead for the next school year. She didn't realize that it would make her start to hate that professor and take the fun out of something she was so passionate about.
As she stepped into her shower to wash the stress and anxiety from the week away, she heard the angelic voice of her neighbor. This time, instead of singing Dan + Shay or any of the oldies she'd been singing all week, he starting to sing something that sounded very new and unfamiliar to her.
"Sunrise with you on my chest, no blinds in the place where I live," he sang through the wall. "Daybreak open your eyes, cause this was only ever meant to be for one night."
As she sat there on the floor of her bathtub, letting the water hit her face, she couldn't help but let the emotion he had in his voice as he was singing, hit her like a truck. Suddenly every feeling or thought she had bottled up during the last week came billowing out of her like flood waters. She started uncontrollably sobbing and while she tried to quiet it a bit, the walls in her apartment were thin and her neighbor inevitably heard it.
She noticed he had stopped singing which made her cry more, "Of course he heard me cry," she thought to herself starting to sob harder. "I scared him away and now we're probably never going to sing together again."
Y/n stood up and decided to pull herself together to finish the shower. Once she was done, she decided that today she was going to allow herself to eat like shit and go to bed super early. She deserved it. Y/n got out of the tub, quickly dried off, put on baggy, yet comfortable, clothes and grabbed her phone to call the Chinese restaurant down the street that delivered.
As she got off the phone with the sweet lady at the Chinese restaurant, she instantly sat down on her couch, getting comfortable for a night in and binging her favorite shows on Netflix. A whole night of not thinking about research! Once she got situated though, she heard a knock on her door. "The Chinese is already here?" She questioned out loud. "That was fast."
When she answered the door though, she was shocked to find one of the most beautiful looking men ever standing outside her door. Looking at him, she realized his face was familiar, but she couldn't pinpoint where she'd seen it before. "Uh," she mumbled out. "You're not the delivery guy..."
"Ha-ha," he laughed causing her breath to catch in her throat. "No, I'm not, I'm your neighbor." He pointed at the apartment next door causing her face to heat up.
"Oh no," she mumbled, embarrassment covering her features. "I'm sorry, you've been hearing me sing and now cry."
"Don't be sorry, I've really been enjoying the company." He said, eyes widening with the realization of what he said. "What I mean is it's nice to finally put a face to the voice I've been duetting with the last week."
"I'm y/n," she said smiling as she stretched her hand out to shake his. "I had an emotional breakdown today and I'm sorry if that scared you or freaked you out."
"I'm Shawn and it definitely didn't scare me, I was definitely worried though. I don't think I've ever heard someone cry that loud, especially someone who was a wall away. It sounded like you were right next to me and I just wanted to check up on you, make sure you were okay."
"Thank you," y/n mumbled looking down. As she glanced back up, she noticed the delivery man bringing up her Chinese food. As she handed him the money in exchange for the food, she looked at Shawn, "I ordered way too much food, are you hungry?"
"Starving," he said smiling down at her and following her into the apartment. As she walked into her apartment towards the kitchen to grab some plates, she began to feel self-conscious about everything she had in there. Was it clean enough? Did it look too girly? Was he going to think that she was some kind of weirdo?
"You have a really cool place," Shawn said walking over to her record player to see what kind of records she had.
"Oh, thank you. It's not much but I like it here," she said releasing a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "How long have you lived here, Shawn?"
"About a month now. I wanted somewhere out of the way where not a lot of people would recognize me. I wanted a safe place and that's what this has become for me," he said, getting comfortable on your couch.
"Man you're full of ego, especially if you think people will recognize you everywhere. Think you're a celebrity or something?" She said in a joking matter.
"Do you not know who I am?" He asked genuinely curious as to whether or not she actually knew who he was.
"Am I supposed to?" She asked. "Just to clarify, I don't mean that in a bitchy way either. I just... Who are you, Shawn?"
"Wow," he said smiling, showing all of his teeth. "This is awesome."
"Are you not going to tell me who you are?" She asked smiling back. His smile was contagious, and it ignited a flame inside of her.
"Not yet," he said grabbing the takeout container from her hand and opening it. "I want to get to know you first."
"Okay, I'm going to hope I didn't just let a serial killer into my home," she said grabbing a bag full of crab Rangoon’s. "Do you want to watch a show while we eat?"
"Depends on what show," He said with a serious look on his face. "If it's anything other than Atypical... Probably not."
"I guess we're going to start Atypical," she said laughing. The duo ate in silence, becoming insanely enamored in the show. Before she knew it, they were done with the first season.
"Shawn," y/n said looking over at him. "We can't be friends."
"What?" He asked, looking like he was a dog who had just been kicked. "Why?"
"We can't be friends because I'm now obsessed with that stupid show and I already have too many shows to be obsessed with," she said matter of factly, a small smile growing on her face.
"Oh my god," he said sighing. "I thought you actually hated my company or something and was just being nice until it was over. Thank god you're just dramatic."
"Hey now!" She said lightly punching him on his arm. "I definitely want to be friends. I had a really shitty week at work, and you were here for a few hours and suddenly I forgot everything that made me breakdown. I'm definitely keeping you around for a bit. At least until I'm done with my summer job!"
"Hey, glad I could help. I should probably get going, though," he said glancing at his phone. "It's already midnight and I'm sure you have to work or something tomorrow."
"I guess, you're probably right," she said getting up to take their trash into the kitchen. "Hey, Shawn?"
"Yeah, y/n?"
"What was that song you were singing today?"
"Just something that came across my Apple Music recommended. Did you like it?"
"Yeah, it was beautiful. I'm not sure whether the lyrics resonated with me or just the passion you had while singing it but nevertheless, I loved it," she said, looking across the room to where he was standing.
"Before I go, give me your phone," he said reaching out to grab it from her hands. "Text me and let me know when you want to hang out again. I'll be around for the next few weeks so I'm basically free whenever."
"Okay, thank you for coming over tonight. I didn't realize how much I needed a friend until now," she said walking towards Shawn and enveloping him into a hug.
"No problem, Hun," he said hugging her tighter and kissing her on the top of the head. "I'm excited to be friends. Now, go get some sleep. I'll be next door if you need anything."
She walked him to the door, locking it as it closed behind him. As she walked towards her bed, she couldn’t help but feel happy. Happier than she had been in a very long time. Maybe it was the fact that she didn’t have to think about the research she had grown to loathe or maybe it was because she had finally been able to laugh with someone and make jokes that didn’t revolve around school. What she knew though, was that it definitely had something to do with the brown haired, brown eyed, handsome man who had just walked into her heart as unexpected as it could be.
Y/n woke up the next morning not even remembering when she had fallen asleep. With the most refreshing night’s sleep, she’d had months, y/n, for the first time in as long as she could remember, woke up with a clear mind and a clear head. She instantly grabbed her phone to check the time, 7:32 am. “Thank god,” she thought to herself. “I have an hour before I have to leave.”
She got up and walked to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. Her morning routine was simply because she didn’t need to look too fancy while at work. After all, she sat behind a two-way mirrored wall and watched the research participants so she could code their behaviors. Once she was finished getting ready, she walked to the kitchen where she made herself a breakfast consisting of yogurt, granola, and freshly cut strawberries. Feeling ready to start the day, y/n put on a jacket and grabbed her purse as she headed out the door.
Once she was finally done with work for the week, y/n felt relieved. Two whole days where she didn’t have to deal with work. Maybe this would mean she could hang out with Shawn. She was in a trance when it came to him, he was mysterious but completely charming. And his company was incomparable to any other friend she’d had in the past.
As she got in her car, she debated whether she should call Shawn. Even though they had just met, she was beyond comfortable in his presence. While she was excited to be his friend, she was also nervous and scared. She fell in too deep with everyone she came in contact with whether that meant with friends or even boyfriends. Y/n found it hard to love someone minimally. If they were her friend, she wanted to make sure everything they wanted in life would come to them, she wanted to make sure they always knew she cared, and she always wanted to be in their life. Sometimes with her boyfriends, she would end up scaring them away because she just loved so deeply and with everything she had. Y/n was afraid. Afraid of wanting to be a friend to Shawn more than he wanted to be a friend with her or worse, falling in love with him while he only saw her as a friend. So she decided not to call Shawn, at least not today. Not this soon.
She went home and decided to give her apartment some tender loving care, anything to take her mind off of Shawn for a bit. Y/n lit a few candles and started dusting and vacuuming the whole place. Once she was done vacuuming the carpets, she took to doing her laundry and cleaning her bathroom. While in the bathroom she started to blast her music, today’s pick: Bob Marley. An hour later, y/n was exhausted and finished cleaning, so she decided to go sit on the couch and read a book. Thirty pages into the book, she heard a knock at the door for the second night in a row.
“Hello- oh, Shawn, hi,” she said startled by the sad look on his face. “What’s wrong?”
“I was going to text you to see if you wanted to finish watching Atypical tonight, but then I realized I didn’t have your number. I don’t have your number because you never texted me,” he said obviously hurt.
“Shawn, come in,” she said sighing and opening the door fully so he could enter the room. “I was going to, honest.”
“It’s okay if you weren’t,” Shawn said looking down at you, an unreadable expression on his face. “I think I just think everyone wants to be friends as much as I do, and I just hurt myself every time that that’s not the case.”
“I can assure you, I was definitely going to text you earlier,” she said grabbing his hand, trying to will away the sparks she felt, and leading him towards her couch. “I do the same thing, I always want to be someone’s friend to the fullest extent of the word. But I just figured with you, you’re such a nice guy and I just assumed you were being extra nice last night because you heard me cry. I want to be your friend, I really do. I just- “
“You just… what?”
“I just didn’t want to scare you away with the way I am with friends. I’m all in or nothing. I don’t do ‘kind of friends,’” she said quoting the words. “I am friends with everything I have, I want nothing but everything good in the world for my friends. I end up relying on my friends too much that I push them away, every time. All my friends say I’m too much to handle, I’m too clingy, or that I expect too much. You don’t need that, nor did you ask for that.”
“Y/n, you’re so fucking mental,” Shawn said laughing.
“Are you laughing at me?” She asked with her mouth hanging open. “What an asshole.”
“You’re the coolest person ever and we’ve only hung out once. I need someone who expects a lot out of me because it keeps me accountable. I want someone who’s clingy because I’m a clingy friend. Such a cling friend, it’s ridiculous,” he said, his face going from happy to more serious. “I’m gone a lot, I need to have people in my life who are real and down to earth. People who stay the same because my surroundings change so often. Don’t worry, I wasn’t just nice to you because you were crying. That was just an excuse for me to come over and introduce myself.”
Y/n gasped, lightly punched his arm as she looked up at his smiling face.
“Okay, give me your phone then,” she said. Once she got a hold of it, she typed in her number and set her name as ‘y/n ur bestie’ and took a selfie to set as her contact photo. “Now we’re officially best friends.”
Shawn grabbed y/n’s arm, pulling her on top of him and wrapping her in the tightest embrace. One that took her breath away. She inhaled deeply and it took everything in her not to cry again. Why was she getting emotional?
“Goddammit!” She cried out letting go of Shawn, wiping a tear away.
“Oh Hun,” Shawn said pulling her back towards him, holding her tighter. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing Shawn, I’m finally happy again, I don’t know. It’s been a while since I’ve had a real friend, someone I could tell cared about me,” she admitted feeling naked and exposed.
"Look, I know we don't know each other very well but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone," Shawn said, pulling away and holding y/n by her shoulders to look her in the eyes. “You deserve a good friend, you shouldn’t have to deal with everything by yourself. I’m here to take away some of your pain. How about we finish Atypical now?”
“I’d like that, thank you Shawnie,” She mumbled out the new nickname, smiling up at Shawn trying to pick up his reaction.
“Shawnie, eh?” He questioned. “I like it.”
The pair began to hang out almost daily which made y/n unbelievably happy and the anxieties and daily struggles, while still there, didn’t take over her life to the same extent anymore. After six months of hanging out, y/n was growing unbelievably attached, but she wasn’t afraid of the outcome anymore. In her mind, she was excited to experience a beautiful friendship with Shawn that she wasn’t able to experience before. In her heart though, she was beginning to fall in love and that was scaring her.
“Shawn, no really,” she said looking at him with a serious expression. “There’s no way that One Direction won’t come back, it’ll probably be like the Jonas Brothers. They’re going to be apart probably six or eight years but eventually, they’re going to come back together.”
“No way, I don’t believe that. You can tell they’re really enjoying their lives right now. Complete freedom to do what they want? They’re not going to give that up,” Shawn said matter of factly.
“Ugh, how would you know! You’re not even a directioner,” she mumbled out, rolling her eyes at her best friend.
“I’m really close with Niall, so trust me Sista. I’d know,” he said nonchalantly, glancing down at her for a second.
“Pft, yeah right and I’m close with Demi Lovato,” y/n said laughing until she looked up at Shawn and noticed him staring at her with a straight face. “Shawn, how in the hell would you be friends with Niall Horan and why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Y/n…do you still not know who I am?” He asked.
“You’re Shawnie, my best friend. You hate tomatoes. You have the coolest little sister. You’re from Toronto but you’re living here in California in order to work on music. You’re the most caring human I’ve ever met and you’re always there for me when I need you, even at two am. Shawn, I know who you are,” she said, annoyed that he would ever question what she knew about him.
“No you silly girl,” he sighed. “I’m Shawn Mendes. I started putting covers on YouTube and then eventually I got a record deal. I’ve toured the world and I’ve been nominated for Grammy’s… I’m not trying to make it into the music industry, I’ve definitely made it into the industry. I’m just trying to make another album and go on a world tour…”
“You dick,” she mumbled standing up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen.
“Y/n,” Shawn sighed, following her.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me that sooner? Jesus Christ, every time you said you were working on music were you the ‘studio,’” she said, putting quotes around the studio. “Why didn’t you want me to know who you were?”
“I was hesitant at the beginning,” he began, moving to the cabinet to pour himself a glass of water. “I was afraid you’d want to be my friend because of my fame and not because of who I am. And then things were just so good between us that I didn’t know how to tell you. I was afraid that it would change things between us.”
“I’m not that shallow Shawnie,” she said stepping across the kitchen to wrap her arms around his middle. “You’re my best friend. You being a worldwide sensation isn’t going to change that. I do need to watch your covers on YouTube, and you will need to play me your discography. No more hiding things from me, you can trust me. I’ve told you all of my deepest darkest secrets. I’m not going to force you to tell me yours, but just know that I’m here for you Shawnie, always.”
“Fuck, you’re the best,” he mumbled into her hair. “Just so you know, my covers, they’re old and I’m a fetus in them. And I’ll play you my discography, I’d be more than happy to.”
“I’m excited about your covers. Actually, now that you mention it, I bet little fetus Shawnie is the cutest version of you, yet!”
“You’re ruthless,” Shawn said rolling his eyes and watching his best friend wonder back into the living room and turning on the TV.
While watching his videos, y/n’s love for Shawn grew four sizes bigger and she didn’t even know that was possible. How was it possible to only know this man for six months, but be completely and utterly in love?
“Y/n?”
“Hm,” she said looking up, Shawn’s voice interrupting her train of thought.
“There is something I need to tell you,” Shawn said, rubbing the back of his neck a sign that he was nervous.
“What’s that bub?”
“Next week, I have to go to New York City… There’s some press for my upcoming tour along with some radio interviews and stuff…”
“Okay,” she answered, not understanding where he was headed with this.
“I’m going to be gone for two weeks.”
“Oh…”
“But we can facetime every day and anytime you need me I’ll answer,” Shawn rushed out.
“Shawn, I’m not a child. I can handle myself, I’m not going to break if you’re not here for two weeks. I’ll be fine. Do your thing,” y/n said, grimacing at how rude it sounded, but already feeling the effect of Shawn’s absence even though he was right next to her.
“Um, okay,” Shawn said reaching to put his arm around y/n so they could finish watching their movie.
“I don’t really feel good,” y/n said, jumping up as soon as she felt Shawn’s arm around her. “I think I’m going to take a shower and go to bed.”
“Oh,” Shawn said, face deflating as he realized she was hurt and didn’t want to hang out with him any longer tonight. “I’ll go back to my place then. I’ll call you tomorrow and check up on you, okay?”
“Goodnight, Shawn.”
As she locked the door behind Shawn, she broke down into tears. How could he keep this from her for so long? If he had told her sooner, she would have been able to spend more time with him before he went to New York, now they only had four days before he had to leave. And who knows how long his world tour was going to be.
Y/n walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on, as she took her clothes off and stepped into the shower, her tears started to come down harder. In typical fashion, y/n sat down on the floor letting the hot water cascade around her and wash away the tears as soon as they fell. “Why did you make me love you,” she sobbed out. Once the tear quit falling the water turned cold, y/n stepped out of the shower to hear someone banging on her door. She pulled on a robe and walked towards the door.
As she looked out the window, she noticed that it was Shawn standing outside her apartment for the second time tonight. “Shawn,” she said as she opened the door. “I told you, I don’t feel good.”
“Bullshit,” he responded.
“Excuse me?”
“I said, bullshit,” He repeated as he stepped past you and into your apartment. “Did you forget the walls in these apartments are super fucking thin?”
“Jesus Christ,” she mumbled putting her face in her hands. “Shawn, please go home.”
“No, y/n. We need to talk,” Shawn said, gently pulling her hands away from her face. “I heard what you said while you were in the shower.”
“That’s embarrassing enough, we don’t need to talk about. You’re going to be in NYC in a few days anyway, now’s as good a time as any to figure out how to distance ourselves,” she said, tears already rebuilding in her eyes.
“You don’t see it, do you?”
“See what?” She questioned, quickly wiping her eyes and avoiding looking at Shawn.
“I am fucking in love with you,” He yelled. “How do you not see that?”
“No you’re not,” she said shaking her head. “You’re not in love with me.”
“Yes, y/n. I am so in love with you. I was so scared that if I told you I was leaving in four days, you’d pull back from me. I was afraid to lose you, that’s why I waited so long. I’m such an idiot. I just wanted to stay in this little bubble with you for as long as I possibly could. But you pulled back anyway and I’m such an idiot for not realizing that’s exactly what would happen.”
“You’re not an idiot, Shawnie,” she mumbled, finally meeting his eyes. “You should have told me you were leaving sooner, we could have made it, so we were spending more time together. I could have taken off work so I could say bye before you left, now it’s too late and I have work. I always want to spend time with you, always and I would have jumped at the opportunity to spend extra time with you, regardless of that reasoning behind it. God, you fucking dickhead. That’s why I was so mad at you earlier.”
“I’m sorry, y/n,” Shawn said, sighing.
“I’m in love with you too, you know,” y/n said causing Shawn’s head to snap upward to meet her eyes. “That’s why you saying you were leaving hurt me so badly. I always depend on people too much and you not being around, I’m not stupid, I know that’s going to hurt. I just thought you’d never see me the way I see you and if I just distanced myself from you, I wouldn’t need to be so dependent on you when you were away and busy.”
“Y/n,” Shawn said grabbing her face in his hands. “I love that you need me. I find it so endearing and it makes me feel so good to know you need me or you’re thinking about me. You, distancing yourself from me, won’t make it easier for us. It’ll tear us both apart.”
“Shawnie,” she breathed out. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. I’m sorry for making it hard between us.”
“Oh baby,” Shawn said resting his forehead on hers. “Stop putting yourself down, I should have told you sooner and… How did we not notice our feelings for each other? Like we literally only spend time with one another.”
“I don’t know,” y/n said, trying to close the gap between the two. “Shawnie, kiss me.”
"The problem is," he said as he leaned closer, "if I kissed you, I don't think I'd ever be able to stop."
"Well, then don't kiss me," she joked. "I need to breathe in order to live, thank you very much."
“Oh shut up,” Shawn said, closing the gap between them.
Once she felt his soft lips against hers, y/n’s body lit up. She could taste the popcorn they had been eating earlier in the night and she could feel his perfect little curl that always fell onto his face, against her skin. She had been dreaming of this moment from their first encounter. Before she knew it, his tongue was sweeping across her bottom lip, asking for entrance, which she happily obliged. He pulled her closer to him and they kissed each other harder. Shawn was a great kisser, but that’s not even the part that made her completely melt at his touch.
“Shawn,” she moaned out, breathless, her lungs in need of a moment to recover. “I love you.”
“Say it again,” he moaned out, catching his breath as he held her as close to him as he could, rubbing his nose against hers.
“Shawn Mendes, I love you,” she said as she giggled, grabbing his face to look into his eyes. “Make love to me.”
“Right now?”
“Do you not want to?”
“Oh baby, of course, I want to,” he said, rubbing his hands down her arms. “I just want to make sure you want to.”
“Take me to my room, Mendes.”
Shawn picked her up and carried her, bridal style, into her bedroom. As he placed her on the bed, her nerves began flooding through her body and her anxiety began to start screaming at her in her head. Even though it wasn’t her first time, it almost felt like it was. Everything seemed foreign and new to her, for the first time this wasn’t someone who was random or new to her, this was Shawn, her Shawn.
“Baby, I just want to ask one more time to make sure,” Shawn said, kissing her cheek. “You want this right?”
“Of course I want this,” She said, reassuring him with a kiss on the mouth. “I want you, I love you.”
Once he got the reassurance he needed, Shawn reached down to pull his shirt off which gave y/n the cue to take her robe off as well. When she saw Shawn shirtless, she couldn’t help but moan out loud.
“Shawnie,” she moaned out, her panties dampening. “Why haven’t you taken your shirt off around me before!”
“Baby,” he said, laughing. “I didn’t know you loved me before.”
“Well I do, please let me touch you,” she said, reaching out to touch him. As she ran her hands up his torso, she couldn’t help but notice the tent growing in his sweatpants. With ever-growing confidence, y/n pulled his pants down and grabbed onto Shawn’s dick, making him groan out loud.
“Y/n, baby, you don’t have to- shit!” Shawn moaned, watching y/n’s mouth envelope his dick while looking up at him through her eyelashes.
“Shawnie, I want to,” she said, removing him with a pop, before putting him back in her mouth.
“You’re doing so good for me baby,” He said, breathlessly, as he grabbed her hair out of her face. She started to hollow out her cheeks, saliva falling from her lips and onto the part of the dick she couldn’t hold. She wrapped her hands around what didn’t fit in her mouth and moaned at the feeling. She loved having Shawn’s cock in her mouth, she couldn’t get enough. She could feel his balls start to tighten up, so she quickened up her pace.
“Where would you like to cum, baby,” she asked, looking up at him with innocent eyes. “On my tits or in my mouth?”
“Oh my god, y/n, you’re insatiable,” Shawn said moaning at the thought of coming on you or with you at all. “Your tits, oh please your tits.”
“Okay baby, don’t worry,” y/n said going back to sucking him off. When she felt him get close again, she took him out of her mouth and quickly started jerking him off. When he started to come, he moaned out painting her chest with his seed.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said, moaning out each word. “You’re so good to me baby, so, so good to me. Now let me return the favor.”
“No Shawnie,” she whined. “You can eat me out later, right now, I need you to fuck me.”
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Shawn said, grabbing her underwear and pulling it down her legs. “Who made you this wet, huh, love?”
“Oh my god, you did daddy,” y/n moaned out, feeling Shawn run his finger up and down her slit, gathering her wetness. As she watched him bring his fingers to his mouth to taste her, she started to feel dizzy from arousal. “Shawn, baby, this is too much. Please just fuck me.”
“Do you have condoms, love?”
“Side table, top drawer,” she said, watching Shawn reach across her to grab the condom and roll it along his length. “You ready for daddy?”
“Fuck yes,” she groaned. As she felt him line himself up at her entrance, the last of her nerves washed away. It was the anticipation that was driving her mad now. Slowly, she felt him slide into her and she instantly felt the tightness. “Oh daddy, you’re so big.”
“Baby girl,” he said, groaning as he stilled inside of her, waiting for her to get comfortable. “You’re so tight, fuck!
“C’mon Shawn, please, you can move now.”
Once the words left her mouth, he began to fuck into her relentlessly. Y/n reached down to start massaging her clit to help her get to her orgasm sooner, noticing that Shawn (considering he was already sensitive from his previous orgasm) was going to reach his peak soon.
“No baby,” he mumbled, breathing heavily as he pounded into her. “Let me do it.”
He reached down to connect his fingers to her clit, the sensation driving her further towards her orgasm. Shawn’s fingers, were thicker than hers and, considering he played guitar, were able to move a little quicker bringing the fire to the pit of her belly considerably stronger.
“Oh my god, Shawn,” she moaned, struggling to hold her orgasm in. “I’m going to cum, daddy I’m going to cum!”
“It’s okay, baby,” Shawn said, his thrusts becoming sloppier too. “I’m going to cum too baby, let go, it’s okay.”
Shawn’s reassurance was all she needed, “Oh my god, oh my god, fuck, fuck!”
Once Shawn hit his release a few thrusts later, he pulled out, tied the condom and walked towards the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned with a warm washcloth. He gently started wiping away the mess she had made. Once they were both cleaned up, he made his way back to her bed.
“Thank you,” y/n whispered, afraid he might be going back to his place.
“No baby, thank you,” he said before kissing the top of her head and crawling back into bed. As he laid on his back, one arm around y/n and the other behind his head, Shawn said, “So Hun, considering we just did this all backward, will you be my girlfriend?”
“Of course, you giant goof!” She said laughing before she got quiet. “So you’re leaving Monday morning, right?”
“Yeah, we’re going to spend all the time together that we can before I have to leave though,” he sighed, pulling her closer. “As I said, we will FaceTime every day and I’ll be here for you whenever you need me, always.”
“I know, I love you. I’m going to miss you.”
“I love you so much, I’m going to miss the fuck out of you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, oh and baby?” Shawn asked, turning his head to look at her.
“What’s up, love?”
“Daddy? Really?”
“Oh my god,” she mumbled, covering her face with her hands.
“It’s okay,” he said smirking as he leaned up towards ear, whispering, “I liked it.”
As soon as they were able to get comfortable in bed, they heard a knock at the door. Y/n jumped up, with a fearful expression. “Honey,” Shawn mumbled, “It’s already midnight, who could be here?”
“I don’t know?”
“Let me get it, okay?” Shawn asked, already in protective mode. Y/n followed him out to the living room, staying a few steps behind him as he opened the door.
hey that ck kitchen pic has got me wanting a “making breakfast and Shawn walks in” imagine so badly as cheesy as that is. idk if you do smut but that’d be a-ok with me (just pls don’t leave the food cooking on the stove lol) thank you thank you for being a blessing
Request combined with this: Plzzz write something about Shawn’s pictures for CalvinKlein cause DAMN could be abt ANYTHING just plz do it- @kurreapormaranet
Lazy Sunday
pairing: Shawn x reader
⇢ genre: smut that’s it lol it’s graphic so beware
⇢ summary: The morning after leads to something more in the early hours of the morning for Shawn and his girlfriend.
The sun cast a warm glow through the window in your bead room. Slowly opening your eyes to the haze you become aware of your surroundings. A montage of the happenings of last night replay over in your head. With a shiver You look down to see the covers are off and so are your underclothes, in-fact the clothing is in piles across the floor leading to the bead. To the side of you are tuffs of brown hair that belong to your boyfriend Shawn. Shifting in the bead closing your eyes again you bask in the feeling. No commitments for the next three days for either of you. Total bliss for 73 hours. You cant remember the last time you had that much time to yourselves. A shiver runs down your spine when Shawn shifts pulling you way from your thoughts.
The glow in the room gets brighter the longer you stay still and slip into sleep again. His arm moves across your body pulling you close. The warmth of his skin providing a feeling of security. Sadly you were unable to fall back asleep due to the soft gurgling in your stomach. Reluctantly you carefully free your tangled limbs. Your toes curl as they touch the cold ground. You turn to make sure Shawn is still sleeping and make your way to the kitchen. The moment you arrive in your kitchen your greeted with sunshine poring in the window. Opening the fridge you get out the ingredients to make some eggs. Setting the stuff on the counter you move to get the pan. A few minutes go buy and the stove is finally hot. You crack the eggs into the pan and discard the shells.
In the bedroom Shawn slowly stirs awake. The light in the room causing him to squint his eyes. Looking to your side of the bed he sees your gone. A brief look of confusion crosses his features as he sees your not next to him. He sits up in the bead still trying to wake up. As he looks around the room he’s reminded of last night. Your clothes from yesterday lay strobe across the floor in various piles along with his. All of this due to the busy evening you had together after he arrived home from the airport. Memories of limbs and lips clashing together form in his head making a warmth spread through his body. He finds himself so consumed in the memory that he doesn’t realize he’s gone hard in his boxers until he here’s clanking outside of the door. A heavy sigh fills the air as he moves to go to the bathroom.
As you finish the eggs and put them aside you here the opening and closing of a door. You smile knowing that Shawn is finally awake and you make some coffee for him to have when he comes out.
The machine beeps as it finishes the last few drops of the brown liquid. Bustling around the kitchen you get a mug and gather the cream and sugar. Slowly you add them to the coffee one by one.
Turning around you bump into something hard. You pause for a moment taking him in. Your eyes raking up and down his body your attention is grabbed by white fabric stretched across his hips covering his manhood.
“Like what you see?” He smirks.
Taking a look up you see Shawn’s face. His brown orbs peer into yours causing you to step back. Shawn does the same and leans against the counter. As his muscles flex with his movements the glow from the morning sun seems to get brighter. His hand rises and he moves his finger to gesture for you to come closer.
“C’mere” He says with a rasp in his voice from sleep.
You find your self migrating towards him like your magnets coming together. When you reach him you raise your arms and rub your hands on his chest. Feeling the warm flesh under your hand you move closer pressing your chest to his.
“What about the coffee I made and the eggs?” You said turning your head to look at the food on the table
“Fuck breakfast your the only thing I want right now.”
His hands slipped around your waist lifting you onto the counter. You look into his eyes as he leans in connecting his lips with yours. You gasp when you feel him bite your lip letting him deepen the kiss. He groans in response when you pull on his strands of hair. Moving his hands to your thighs he lifts you again braking the kiss. You tighten your legs around his waist.
Waisting no time he pushes the door open with his foot a makes his way to your bead. He sits down with you in his lap facing him. You can feel the warmth of his breath against your neck and the brush of his lips. His hands coming to rest on your ass as you grind into him. You hands move to the nape of his neck softly tugging on the strands of hair as he sucks a bruise on to your neck. Shawn parts from your neck and leans you back enough to remove his shirt that you slept in. Once the fabric is gone the cool air in the room hardens you nipples sending goosebumps down your back. “God, look at you, such perfect tits.” He says admiring you as you sit on his lap like it’s a throne. You keen into his touch as he brushes his thumb across one grazing your nipple. You continue to grind your hips into his to create friction. Your actions elect a soft groan from Shawn. Feeling his manhood get hard you slide back further down his legs into the floor. You set your hands on his thighs spreading his legs enough for you to fit in between. In front of you his manhood his hidden under the white fabric of his Calvin Klein boxers. You look into his eyes as you slip your fingers inside the boxers. Using both hands you pull them down to free his cock. As the elastic band passes it hits his stomach and stays laying on him. You reach for it and lightly squeeze eliciting a groan from Shawn. The noise gives you a boost in confidence and you take him into your mouth. Sweeping your tongue around the head and over the slit. Shawn can’t hold the sounds back. One hand behind his back he holds himself up and the other hand comes to rest on your head. Bobbing your head up and down his length you pump with your right hand. Your left hand rests on his thigh. Releasing him from your mouth you lick a stripe up from the base to the shaft and kiss the head and suck it back in your mouth. The warmth and wetness has Shawn squirming and grunting in place. Moving your left hand it stops on his balls and gives a gentle squeeze. A deep moan raises from his chest as you continue to blow him. Not much time passes until his moans get really loud. His hand in your hair begins to push you down on to him as he gets closer to releasing. Looking up at him and blinking through your lashes his eyes catch yours. With a couple more pumps and a deep moan around his manhood Shawn finds himself releasing into your mouth. “Oh…fuck.” You swallow around his cock and lift your head up looking into his eyes. Shawn swears he could get hard looking at you face after you just sucked him off. “Look at you princess.” He said lifting your chin. You got up off your knees and stood in front of him. “Turn for me baby.” He said as he leaned back in his spot. You but your lip as you twirled for him. His hands found themselves not your his as you faced him again. Pulling you in his lips captured yours in n a kiss. You hands placed on either side of his face. Your right leg lists on to the bed and your left on on the other side. Shawn bit onto your bottom lip and then moved to your neck, sucking and nipping at the skin there. Wanting to speed things up Shawn’s hands tug on your shirt. Getting the hint you leaned back and lifted the shirt up off of your frame. Tossing the shirt across the room you turned back to Shawn who was leaned back on his elbows watching you perched on his lap. His dick still sitting hard against his abdomen in between your thighs. You leaned forward planting a light kiss on his lips before you return to an upright position. Taking him in your hand you pump him a few times and rub him against you to make him slick.
Finally you line him up and sink down on to his lap. Something between a moan and a grunt leaves him as he bottoms out. Placing your hands on his chest you get some leverage to lift yourself up and you slam back down. This causes you to moan out loud. Shawn looks at you with pure adoration as you bounce up and down on his cock in a steady pace. “Oh, you feel so good Shawn.” You mumble. “Ugh, fuck so do you baby.” He covers his face as you pick up speed. Your pace falters however and to keep the pleasure going Shawn picks up the slack. Holding onto your hips he slams up into you. The change in pace causing you to wimpier and moan in response. “Oh my gosh.” You moan out. “Huh, you like that tell me how much you want to cum, hmm?” He reached for your bundled nerves between your legs and rubes circles into it. “How much do you want to come all over my cock.” He asks you as he continues to rub in circles. “Uhh, so bad. I wanna cum so bad.” You whine into his neck. You squeeze your walls as you find yourself nearing an orgasm. Shawn grunts as his thrusts get sloppy. His finger relentlessly rubbing into you. “Fuck, I’m cumming.” You practically scream as his pace on your clit doesn’t slow. “Cum for me baby.” He says in your ear and almost instantly your body shudders as your orgasm hits you. Shawn gaveling not cum yet continues to thrust into you. “Please…it’s too much.” you say leaning to the side lifting your leg. Shawn is quick to move it back and reassure you he’s close. “I’m almost there princes hang on.” You moan in response. A second orgasm close because of the overstimulation. Your tighten your core and Shawn moans at the feeling. His abdomen tense as he’s about to release. “Please cum inside me.” You say looking him in the eyes. A grunt leaves his mouth before he thrusts back into you and releases his load in thick ropes. The feeling sending you over the edge and another shudder runs through your body. Not even bothering to get up you collapse on top of Shawn. He looked down at you and admires how beautiful his princes looked all fucked out. It’s like you have this glow and he can’t get enough of it.
After a few minutes you decide to move. “ I think it’s time to get some food.” You said standing a putting on your underwear. Shawn gets up fixing his Calvin Klein boxers before he lifts you up and plops you back into the midsize of the mattress. Curious you let him continue. He leaned down on the some of the bed and slides you closer to him and hooks his finger inside your underwear.
“I told you, fuck breakfast. The only meal I need is right here.”
Peach Roses: Appreciation, Closing the deal, Get Together, Sincerity
A low groan left the Irish toy maker as he sat up from where he’d passed out at his desk, how long had he been there? What time was it? He put his hand on his lower back, putting pressure on it as he leaned back till he felt a pop, that was better. He looked up to the clock to see that it was actually early the next morning, then he saw it out of the corner of his eye, there was a vase on his desk filled with peach colored rose… Or at least that’s what he thought they were, he could’ve been wrong. When’d that get there? It most certainly hadn’t been there before he fell asleep.
“The hell?” He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before spotting a card with his name on it sticking out of the arrangement, he took it out and moved to hold it closer under his lamp to read it in the dark room.
Dear Shawn,
You’ve been working yourself very hard recently and I want you to know that I appreciate the hard work that you do, and you don’t need to do so just so you can buy me something, I promise that I don’t need anything. Besides, I would take one of your plushes over some store-bought thing any day. ;3
Love,
[Y/N]
Shawn could feel his face heat up as he read the note over and over again. He knew he should have never told Chase his plan to buy a gift for [Y/N] to say thanks for helping him set up and run an online shop to sell his plushes. He should’ve known the man was easy to break, all you needed to do was offer him baked goods after all. He looked at the roses and then back to the note, rereading it once more. Well, now he needed to go thank them. With a sigh he set the note onto his desk and got up, feeling just about every one of his joints popping as he got up.
It wasn’t exactly hard to find [Y/N] that time of day, they were in the kitchen making a pot of coffee for when the others finally rolled out of their respective beds.
“Oh hey! You’re up earlier than I’d thought you’d be.” They spoke with a smile once they spotted him.
“Uh… Yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from them. “I uh… Wanted to say thank ya for the flowers. Though, if I’m ta be honest I think I should be the one buying you flowers.” He sighed.
“You don’t need to buy me anything, Shawn.” They shook their head, leaning on the counter and crossing their arms.
“But ya’ve done so much for me! You helped me make that store and you’ve been helping me understand how to work the orders and ship them and… I wouldn’t have been able ta do any of this without ya. So, I thought saving up and using the money I’m making through this to buy you a gift would be the best way to say thanks.” He said, walking over to them, why did they not understand that? He thought it was pretty sound logic.
“I did all that for you, because I wanted to help. You were making them anyway, and you said you missed knowing that there were kids out there hugging your toys and playing with them. I don’t want you to work yourself to death for me. But I do appreciate the sentiment. Thus, why I got you the roses.” They explained, letting out a small laugh as he only seemed to look more frustrated.
“Yeah about that! You gettin me things only makes the situation worse! Here I am trying to thank you for helping me and you go buyin me a thing to say thank you for something I haven’t even done yet! Makin me feel like I got to do two things now!”
“But you don’t! That’s not how this works!” [Y/N] laughed as Shawn huffed.
“Oh? It’s not now is it? Then tell me, how is this supposed ta work?” He questioned, crossing his arms and looking them up and down.
“You accept the roses I gave you to show you my appreciation for your kind thought, as well as the fact that I don’t believe that you need to return the favor.” They said, placing a hand on his shoulder which was soon covered by his own.
“No.” He told them with a smile, he wasn’t about to let it end with them doing two nice things for him and him having done nothing in return! That is not how this was about to work.
“Shawn no.”
“Shawn yes. Now, if ya don’t mind, I believe I’ll take some of the coffee you’ve made and I’ll be goin back ta work so I can get you something.” He moved their hand off his shoulder and let it go so their arm would drop to their side.
“Shawn!”
“You’re not winnin this one, my friend. Just face it, you’ve done two nice things for me. Now I have ta do three.” He explained, while grabbing a mug and pouring himself some coffee.
“Wait, no. That’s not how this works.”
“It’s how it’s gonna work.” He said simply, setting the pot back and sipping from his mug before walking out of the kitchen. “See ya around, [Y/N]. Oh, and thanks for the flowers.” He made sure to say before he was out of sight.
“Yeah yeah…”
~~~~~~~~~~
The second to the last one! This one kind of had me giggling to be honest hehe! I also really like the idea of someone helping Shawn make an online store so he can sell his toys again, after all he’s a dang workaholic. Also, sorry about the wait, I really wasn’t sure what to do for Shawn and I wanted to save Jack for last. Anyway! As always I accept any and all feed back, thank you guys for reading!
(A/N: Haloooo! I am reeaaaally not a writer (I prefer to read) and I just made this because I thought of something while looking at this pic of soft shawn. Sorry for the grammar mistakes/typos!! Anyhow, hope you enjoy this random imagine!)
After finishing his set, Shawn went to his dressing room to freshen up. While changing into another white shirt, he heard Y/N’s voice outside his dressing room door. Hurrying to put on his shirt, he opened the door frantically while eyes look for the dark brown ones he longed to see. In saying yes to doing this festival tour, he knew he wouldn’t see Y/N’s face for a long time. And the five months without her has been pure torture. It also doesn’t help knowing that he still can’t reach her for almost 2 days. While walking to the green room, he saw Aliyah talking with Andrew and Geoff.
‘Shit, do you think he knows? She tripped infront of his dressing room.’ Geoff said.
‘I know who’s here?’
‘The girl who cried. The one who got passed security and into backstage? She got in again.’ Aliyah replied, not sure if the lie would work.
‘Oh, okay.’ Defeated, he headed to the green room with Aliyah where Manny and Karren were talking excitedly. He flopped down the recliner, laying his head back while closing his eyes. Unknown to him the happy mood everyone was in. Him being the only one feeling down, heaved a heavy sigh.
‘Are you feeling okay, honey?’ Karren asked.
‘Just tired.’ Shawn replied. He missed Y/N so much, it was driving him insane. His mind drifting to the time when he tried to call her before and after the set. Remembering that she didn’t answer, he let out another sigh.
‘No answer?’ Manny asked, trying to hide the smile thats making its way on his mouth.
‘None. Went to voicemail.’
‘Why don’t you try again?’
‘I already did, the same thing happened.’ Seeing that Shawn is very much disturbed, Y/N got out or her hiding spot and aligned her head with his. Shawn noticed the movement, he just didn’t mind it. He also didn’t mind the unusual behavior the whole team had all day long.
Breaking the silence, Y/N started ‘Hi’
Opening his eyes, Shawn notice the girl he has have been thinking about staring right at him. Only, she was upside down from his point of view. Once everything sunk in, he moved to get his girl back in his arms.
However, he underestimated how close their faces actually were, he only realized when he moved to get out of the chair. The people in the room didn’t know what event to focus on. Whether to cheer and be happy for the couple who haven’t seen each other for such a long time, or to laugh at how careless Shawn was, which actually resorted to him bumping his and Y/n’s foreheads. Hard, mind you. Everyone heard it. The group chose the latter, laughing with everything that they have.
‘Oooww oh my god my head oh my god you’re here oh my god I’m so sorry oh my god baby you’re here!’ Shawn rambled this while helping Y/N to her feet and into his arms while saying it all over again. Y/N, actually crouched down and held onto her forehead, massaging it to relieve the headache that started to form due to the head bump her boyfriend had caused.
‘Okay, I knew Shawn would be excited but this is so much more-...’ Aliyah barely formed a sentence. Everyone, including the couple, was laughing so hard that their stomachs were already hurting.
..........................………
After seeing Manny, Karren and Aliyah off, Y/N, Shawn and the rest of the crew was back at the bus. Andrew, giving another ice pack to Shawn said laughing,
‘This is the best surprise’
‘I agree, and disagree. Shawn, your forehead is so hard.’ Y/N answered with a smile of amusement because of the embarassed face her boyfriend is making.
‘I don’t know whether to say sorry again or say how happy I am to see you, or to thank you guys. But I agree, that I agree and disagree that this is the best surprise. Wait, what did I say?’ a confused Shawn said while placing the ice pack on Y/N’s forehead.
‘Shawn, you’re the reason why my head is hurting. Literally’ Y/N said, which caused Shawn to chuckle and place his lips on his girlfriend’s head. The couple made their way to the back of the bus, where Shawn usually sleeps.
‘Let’s go to bed before our headache gets worse.’
‘We should, you wash up first.’ Shawn said kissing Y/N’s temple.
........…………………………
Now laying down on the bed, both want to go to sleep but also want spend time more time awake together.
‘You know, I heard you and Liyah earlier.’
‘We know, we noticed the owner of the dressing room too late. Good thing Geoff was there.’ Y/N rembered cursing when she tripped because Geoff suddenly pulled her and Liyah to the side, knowing Shawn was usually finished with his shower by that time.
Comfortable silence wrapped around the couple cuddled on the bed. Y/N is half asleep when she noticed Shawn’s steady breathing and heartbeat. Thinking he’s asleep, she can’t help but say the words that have been dying to be said out loud. If it weren’t for the amount of people that was there with them, she would have said it the moment she saw him for the first time after five months of not seeing each other.
‘I missed you. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say this earlier, couldn’t think straight,’ she giggled remembering how Shawn basically head butt her upside down. ‘Definitely learned my lesson, will definitely not do that again. I don’t think I say this enough but I really really like you. And being away from you for so long made me realize, that you really mean everything to me. I’ve fallen for you, and I just hope you feel the same way.’
Not knowing Shawn was awake the whole time, her heart leaped when she felt him move and tighten his arms around her. Shawn, having said the same thing the last night before going on tour, can’t help but turn her around and kiss her. Pouring all the emotions in that one passionate kiss. After getting over the shock, Y/N kiss back with the same amount of passion.
‘You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words. You were asleep when I first told you I’ve fallen for you, but now I’m going to say it again. I love you, Y/N. I love you so much I am willing to bump my head again, just to make sure this isn’t another dream. I love you’ Shawn said with teary eyes, knowing that he is awake because his head is still slightly aching.
Y/N can’t help but say it back and when she did, Shawn reconnects their lips for the nth time of the night. After a few more kisses, the couple finally fell asleep, knowing they were in the arms of the person they love. The person who is worth more than a silly old bump.
2,2k words. It refers to what happened this week at the airport. It was supposed to be an angst but Lost In Japan music video made me soft so it turned out to be a cute blurb at the end. Also, it took me too long to finish it but I’ve been super busy with school lately, but here it is for you to read it! For those of you who don't know, Y/S/N stands for your sister’s name.
I was dead tired after a five-hour long flight. That festival run had been the best and funniest of my life. I played new music all over the world with my amazing team by my side and we reserved enough time to visit the cities we went to. I even got to film the Youtube documentary with Casey! For sure, that months had been particularly productive not only for my career but also for me as a person, since I got to play on stage with some of my role models as Justin Timberlake. But that run had been stressful too: a full-time schedule, packed with early morning flights and long rides on the tour bus. I was delighted to be back home: I could spend time with my family, maybe watching a film with Aaliyah, go out for a beer with my friends and have some me-time to write down all the new melodies and lyrics that were buzzing in my head.
I knew I’d be in a danger-zone after passing through the sliding doors since Jack took a different flight to go home, and I also knew I should have expected a group of fans waiting for me. I felt the stress clinging to my throat as soon as I noticed a large group of people, holding their phones out to take pictures. I made my way to them, a small but tired smile on my lips to greet them; as soon as they were around me, I made clear that I was tired and I needed to be fast because my Uber was waiting for me.
“Hey, Shawn! Over here please, take a picture” one asks. I approached her and smiled to the camera, leaving behind me some other usuals fans who already had hundreds of pictures with me.
“How are you feeling, Shawn?” asked another one, not really interested in listening to my answer while he was shoving his phone in front of us to take a selfie. I sighed again, feeling my head getting heavier just like my eyelids. A constant hammer in my head, amplificated by the too many voices that were calling out for me.
“A little bit stressed, thank you. Guys, I’m sorry but I should really go now, I need to go back home” I said, looking around to count how many people were waiting to meet me. Too many. They were too many and I was alone. Suddenly my throat dried out and it became hard to breath. I started to count down from 30 in my head, looking desperately around to find a safety zone or a guard who could help me. No one came to help though, anyone minding their own business. I held my breath for a few seconds, my brain slowing down a bit and I started to feel like I was underwater. I came up when a hand started to shake not so gently my right arm.
“Shawn! please, can you say hi to my friend Jess?”
“You really aren’t listening, my car is waiting outside and I have to go” I explained again, trying to make my way to the door.
“We’ll come out with you, no problem” said a guy, following me and taking a video. I looked around, noticing that the now smaller crowd was moving to follow me, and I realized there were a few girls arguing in the background, two of them trying to come closer to me. I didn't bother to understand what were they quarrelling about, to be honest. I couldn’t even walk since every step I took was followed by the millionth selfie. “Guys, please. I’m exhausted” I sighed as soon as a small figure appeared in my visual, thinking I was in for a new round of pictures.
(Y/N’s POV)
I couldn’t stand in that mess any longer, knowing Shawn was having troubles breathing. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable, though no one seemed to care.
“Y/N, please, I want a picture with him” please my little sister but I shook my head for the third time.
“Sweetheart, do you see him? He’s not feeling good, we need to give him some space. I promise you you’ll get your picture another time when he’ll be more relaxed, and maybe we’ll have a small chat with him too okay?” I replied sweetly since she was still too young to understand what anxiety was. She just wanted a picture with her idol and I couldn’t blame her for that, however, I needed to protect her from that crazy crowd. So I did the only thing that seemed reasonable at the moment to defend her: I grabbed my sister’s little hand and started to move toward the sliding doors. We were almost out, Y/S/N whining a little, when Shawn’s panicked voice, asking for help, stopped my movements. I sighed and went back, trying to talk to some of the fans to make them go away but, as expected, they didn’t listen. I had already noticed the Uber driver waiting eagerly on the street and I knew he wasn’t going to wait any longer. Frustrated, I tighten the grip on my sister’s hand and did the only thing that seemed reasonable to save the pop star from passing out in front of everyone: I made my way through the crowd, receiving many insults and bumps in the meantime. Once I was by the man’s side, I placed my sister between us: his body was towering over mine but I knew this big man was feeling like insignificant and helpless. I started to speak but no one seemed to listen, trying to push me away from him to get more shots; so I raised my voice, standing proudly on the tiptoes.
“Everyone, listen. You’re not helping Shawn right now: he’s tired but he’s also too polite to ask you to leave him alone. You all know he loves you and that he’s grateful, you don’t need more pictures. Also because you aren’t even trying to make small conversations, you just want pictures to post on your Instagram. Most of you have already met Shawn for, at least, ten times, we all know you come here for him every single time. If you really care, let him go home. He’s dead tired but you’re too selfish to see it” I tried to reason with them, but there was no way they were interested in what I was trying to explain.
“Oh, fuck off. You know what? Y/S/N, take Shawn’s bag, sweetheart. We’ll escort him to the car” I told my sister, grabbing her free hand again but also taking Shawn’s wrist in the other one. I couldn’t decide if he was too tired or too traumatized to move or say anything, probably both, so he just followed silently. I pushed a few people, not really kindly, and the three of us finally arrived at the car, fresh air crashing on my face.
“There you go” I released a sight, kissing the top of my sister's hair. We were finally out but she was shaking a bit, probably afraid from the number of people that surrounded us.
“Thank you, really. I didn’t know what else to do. Can I do something for you? Maybe take a picture with this little lady?” he thanked politely, kneeling a bit to look into my sister’s eyes. She was almost nodding, but I didn’t want to be incoherent. He really needed to go home and, for sure, he wasn’t in the mood to take other pictures. Neither was I or the taxi driver.
“We’re good, thanks. Maybe we’ll see you another time and we’ll take a picture when you’ll look better. We want a handsome picture, don’t we?” I answered, brushing Y/S/N’s hair while her sleeping face nodded at me.
“Yeah, I don’t want you to have bags under your eyes. I get only one picture and it must be perfect!” she explained, nodding convinced to her speech. Shawn and I both laughed.
“Alright then, thank you again. I would have stayed there another thirty minutes if it wasn’t for you” he admitted, quickly embracing the small, warm body that was resting against mine.
“You know you should have raised your voice when they weren’t listening. They don’t deserve your kindness if they don’t show you some respect. You were almost having a panic attack in there, I recognize one when I see it. You’re lucky I’m a strong woman accompanied by an even stronger princess and we got to save our prince, didn’t we?” I laughed a bit at it, trying to ease the situation. I had been a little too direct, but he needed to hear those words in order to make something the next time.
“Yes, we had been princesses in shining armours” her childish voice said proudly.
“You really had, misses. And, yes, I guess the next time I won’t let it happen but you know, I owe them everything, from my career to the food I place on the table so I don’t really feel like treating them harshly” He replied to me, closing the boot and opening his car door. He placed the backpack inside and looked at us for the last time.
“Thank you, again. I owe you an ice cream and a handsome picture, right?” he smiled, visibly relieved once he realized he was finally going home. The group of fans coming closer to the car after escaping from the security guard’s attention.
“Sure. Goodnight” I smiled, lifting my sleepy sister into my arms and making my way to our car. I felt her little arm shaking, sign that she was waving at him. Once small giggles fell from her lips, I knew he waved back.
“See? Most of the time, small talks are nicer than pictures” I stated, placing her small frame in the back seat and buckling her up. She nodded happily, hugging her small teddy bear. I started to drive, thinking about Shawn’s difficult celebrity-life. it all looked shining and perfect, with sparkling dressed, music awards and famous people. I knew it was an idyllic vision of fame: when the curtain closes, the audience can’t see the dark part of it, all the anxiety and pressure accompanied by tears and long lists of duties and public images to maintain.
Later that night, as I was lying in my comfy and warm bed, I found out that I was a “celebrity” too: videos of me yelling at the centre of the airport were circulating all over the internet, everyone wondering where this “mysterious girl” was coming from. I breathed out a long suspire, ready to turn off my phone when a Twitter notification arrived on the profile I created for Y/S/N to remain updated on Shawn’s career:
@shawnmendes: what happened tonight at the airport really made me sad and uncomfortable. I’d like to believe you didn’t notice that I wasn’t feeling good, because I couldn’t explain otherwise your lack of attention in my regards.
@shawnmendes: please, I don’t know who the girl was but for respect of her and her little sister, do not look for her name. I’m taking a break from social media for a while, I’ll come back with great news. xx
(a few days after)
I was almost at the end of my shift, preparing a chocolate milkshake a client just ordered while I was happily humming a tune I’ve heard on the radio on the way to the ice cream shop. I turned around, sinking a black strawn in the soft foam and handling the cup to the girl standing in front of me.
“There you go, enjoy and have a good day” I smiled, turning around to clean the counter once the couple was out of the shop.
“When I said I owed you an ice cream, I didn’t know you were supposed to make it” a familiar but lazy voice said, followed by a giggle. I turned again to face the person that was speaking to me and I felt my heart melt. There he was, in cosy clothes, with a serene but jet-lagged caused sleeping expression defying his soft features. I giggled in response and nodded slightly.
“Yeah, but I’ll be out in five if you wanna go somewhere else” I smiled, starting to untie the knot that was holding close the uniform’s blue apron.
“Actually, I’d like to stay here and try all of your flavours. Its a dream of mine so, please, make it happen” he joked, pouting with his full, pink lips.
“I’m here for it, but you have to help me to close the shop in order to repair the damage you’re gonna make to our ice cream’s reserve” I laughed, pulling inside all the chairs and tables that were placed outside.
“Okay, I’m in” he smiled, really giving me a hand even if I wasn’t serious when I asked for help.
We laughed for the whole evening, and I’m not sure if, in the end, my heart dropped because of too much sugar or if it was for the cheesy, childish kiss he left on my cheek after he walked me to my car. I could have died straight away but I couldn’t have been any happier.
Summary: Shawn and [Y/N] have begun to noticeably drift apart and with each sharp, unempathetic word, [Y/N] finds herself more and more unable to tolerate it.
Warnings: slight swearing, angst
My grip on his arm was slacking as he turned, eyes filled to the brim with nothing but anger— fuelling hot, bubbling rage. His dark hair encouraged the shadows, already flickering across his face in the low lights, to elongate. They shrouded the previous happiness that had been the only visible emotion, leaving his stare void of anything of the sort.
“What?” His voice was sharp, searing as if the actual words had cut me across the face. We weren’t particularly close, but I could feel his annoyance rolling off him in waves. Those around us must have detected it, too, as they seemed to subconsciously take a step away from him. I did the same.
I prayed to god those surrounding us, whether in our little dark corner or as far away as the bar, didn’t hear what was going on.
Andrew shot us glances over his wine glass, making a point to raise his eyebrows. ‘You alright?’ He seemed to ask. At least someone cared.
“I’m tired,” I told him at last, having searched his eyes for anything that resembled the Shawn I’d fallen in love with. It was futile, however. That person was long gone, whisked away and morphed by the drug that is fame, attention.
It wasn’t too late, but much later than I’d wanted to stay out for. And the alcohol seeping into my bloodstream, combined with the intolerable music blaring through the speakers was enough to inflict a wave of nausea. The way he glared down at me only heightened this sickening sensation.
He rolled his eyes. “So? What do you want me to do about it?”
“I just want to go home,” I told him, quietening my voice. Again, he rolled his eyes as if my entire existence was so completely aggravating, difficult to bear.
He downed his glass. I wondered, momentarily, whether he did this so to leave with me and that once out of the club, he would regain some of his usual personality.
“Go home then.”
I peered up at him, blatant confusion on my face. Not just because he drove us here so I’d have to find my own way back, but also for the tone he was using. It was just plain rude.
“Aren’t you coming?” God, he made me sound desperate, like a complete fool. And maybe I was. No, I know I was. It sickened me to imagine those around us getting a private show of this. When he made no move to answer, I continued: “how will I get back?”
He huffed, loudly. Without so much as a ‘good bye,’ he’d tossed his keys in my general direction and was storming away, his tall figure easily gliding through the throng of people. I watched him go, face heated up in utter shame and humiliation.
Andrew made a move toward me, face a mixture of shock at Shawn’s behaviour and sympathy. I cringed, internally.
“Is everything alright?” He asked, mouth close to my ear so that I could hear him without him having to shout. I nodded, numbly, having lost feeling in most of my body. Again, he asked but I waved his concerns away and slapped on a smile.
“I’m just drained,” I told him, not exactly lying. “I think I’m going to get back.” I checked my watch. “It’s almost one.” He asked if he should taken me, but I laughed. “Don’t let my granny arse spoil your fun!”
__________
The place was empty, as expected, when I got back. There was something ominous, disconcerting in the sound of the door unlocking as it reverberated through the inhabited rooms in the darkness.
I sighed, plopping my bag down on the counter, along with Shawn’s keys. There was a stuff littered around the place, both clothes and discarded bags, so I tidied up a bit. With nothing else to do, I grabbed a blanket from the bedroom and cuddled up on the sofa.
It had taken me a long while to go to sleep, and when I finally did, I was awakened abruptly by the door opening and the distinct sound of Shawn’s curse as he whacked his leg into the small table by the door. A sharp pain shot through me.
I’d been thinking whilst battling with sleep. My decision was made, my mind set. I wouldn’t put up with it all any longer, I just couldn’t.
I’d gotten up during the time he’d been gone, for everything set up. Everything was organised. I couldn’t turn back now.
“Shawn?” I called into the open air, though I knew it could only be him. Still, my heart thudded against my ribcage and my stomach churned uncomfortably.
“Fuck,” he said, hand pulled to his chest in fright. “What are you doing down here? Why aren’t you upstairs?”
“I was watching tv,” the lie slipped from my tongue, effortlessly. “Must have fallen asleep.”
He accepted it, nodding. “Right, I’m going to get changed. Meet me up there.”
I ‘mhm’ed, but the thought of actually following through with it— of having to sleep beside him, of having to be in the same bed, even the same room as him— made me feel tense. The feeling surprised even myself. Shawn had always had the opposite effect on me, actually strived to make me feel completely at ease.
He disappeared into the bedroom.
His routine was like a ritual so it wasn’t too outlandish to know he was pushing his black jeans down his legs and throwing them to the side so that they pooled onto the floor; unbuttoning his shirt to his expose his toned chest, leaving him in only his boxers. He would then reveal the bed by pulling the duvet away, and slid himself into the space.
I wondered how long I could last, alone in the front room, away from Shawn. Maybe he would go to sleep without me, forget who he was waiting up for, not miss me beside him. It wouldn’t be so improbable.
Apparently my prayers fell upon empty ears, for I heard shuffling from the room he was in after about ten minutes. I wasn’t given much time to prepare before he was hovering above me. I kept my eyes closed, feigning sleep.
“Babe,” he cooed, warm hand on my arm through the blanket. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
I opened my eyes, just managing to make out his general features in the dark.
“No.”
He assessed me, wondering if I was joking— ready to break those plump lips into a grin. “What?” He asked when I showed no sign of joking, maintaining a stern, expressionless facade.
I got up, then, making my way past him to switch on the light. We both blinked harshly, before our eyes adjusted. In the light, I could see his hair was dishevelled, likely from having run his hands through it. As if to prove my point, his hand reached up and pushed through his tangled curls.
His eyes fell upon my attire, eyebrows furrowing when he realised I wasn’t in one of his shirts, but instead, in a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt.
“I. Don’t. Want. To,” I enunciated clearly. “I’ve had enough.”
“Enough of what?” He asked, face taunt in concentration as he studied me. His dark eyes were no longer fiery, but subdued with forthcoming pain. He knew what was coming. Perhaps he didn’t quite believe it, might not have comprehended it, but he knew it was coming.
“Enough of this,” I pointed between us both. “Enough of us, enough of how I am nowadays. Enough of you.”
“You can’t be serious.” His eyebrows scrunched even more, if possible, and his biceps bulged as he crossed his arms firmly across his chest. “I don’t- why- have I done something?”
“You can’t honestly be that oblivious!” I let out. “I’m miserable, Shawn, fucking miserable. All I ever do is wait around for you to be back from tour and when you are, you spend as much of it as you can away from me! Am I really that insufferable?”
“I-“
“And the few times when we are together, you act like I’m nothing to you.”
“Do you not love me anymore? Is that was this is? Because I love you so, so much and maybe I don’t show it like I should, but I do.”
“Of course I love you,” I said, pulling my hair in frustration. “But I can’t keep being treated like this. You make me feel worthless, like I’m- I’m nothing. I’ve had enough. I can’t keep doing this.”
It was then that his eyes drifted down, back towards the door. It dawned on him then, that I was completely serious. We weren’t just going to have make up sex and this whole ordeal forgotten about.
He strode towards where my bag, filled with all my essentials, lay and picked it up, putting it behind his back.
“No. You can’t just leave like this. If we both love each other, what’s the problem?” He looked on the verge of derangement, hands shaking ever so slightly.
I stepped closer to him, tentative but resolute. “Love isn’t supposed to hurt, Shawn.”
He let me come nearer, breathing in my scent when I snaked my arms around his waist. His breathing was jagged, uneven as we just stood there. He was too absorbed in indulging in the feeling of my body against his, moulding into mine, to notice my hands detaching the bag from his hands.
I separated myself from him with difficulty for his hands seemed glued to me now. With reluctance, he let me put distance between us, eyes still shut as if savouring that hug, likely still not believing it’d be the last one.
The opening of the door shocked him out of his state and he spun round to face me again.
“I can’t live without you!” He called as a last resort.
The door beneath my hand felt less sturdy than usual, feeling as though my whitened knuckles would crush it any second. Alas, it stayed in shape, but the same couldn’t be said for either Shawn or myself.
“You’re going to have to learn,” I said in way of a farewell.
Once the door was shut behind me, I stepped towards the lift.
As the doors closed before me, I imagined them aiding in cutting the ties with Shawn and I.
I couldn’t stop the sob that racked through me as the tears began to fall.
❝ but she was her own champion now ❞
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