A/N: It's been a while, and this picture inspired me, so why not? I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed making it!
Song inspo: Nothing's Gonna Hurt you baby
Take a listen while you read XOXO
Before I met him, I never pictured myself craving someone's touch as much as I crave his. I would roll my eyes at the thought of missing someone's scent, longing for the sound of their voice. I never imagined I would be the person to fall in love so quickly, but he made it easy. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I feel myself growing in anger at the thought that he has completely broken down every wall I built to protect myself. He knows every part of my heart and has touched every nook and cranny of my body. I am his, and he knows it.
Shawn has been gone for eight months, and during this time, I have fought every temptation to call him. I ignored every phone call, every text message asking me to meet him wherever he was in the world. I put up a fight and lost miserably.
I feel my naked body stir awake as I wince at the feeling of a light breeze flowing throughout the hotel room. I look to my right, reaching my arm out to touch the empty space next to me. I sigh deeply, replaying the entire night in my head. The way our bodies tangled together perfectly. The way his hands slowly caressed my bare back. The way our lips locked and didn't part for the entirety of the night. The way he made love to me was like we were the only two people left in the world. The way he held me in his arms, and we talked for hours till we both drifted off to sleep. There is no denying the way he makes me feel. There is no denying that he loves me, yet I'm terrified to let go. I'm terrified to be in a relationship. I'm terrified of losing him.
Shawn: "I need to see you."
A simple text message that led me here once again...I slowly push myself up and rest my back against the headboard. I can hear faint music playing in the sitting room. I feel a smile crawl across my lips as I hear the all too familiar song playing.
"Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby..."
He knows what he is doing.
I slowly crawl out of bed, stretching my arms and fighting the urge to sink back into the mattress. As I make my way to the bathroom, I smile at the clothes scattered across the floor. Closing the bathroom door behind me, I giggle at the reflection in front of me. My sex hair is wild and frizzy. My lips are swollen and bright red. My makeup, completely smudged. My eyes trail down to my neck as I lightly touch the love bites Shawn left across it. I shake my head and grab my face wash, washing the remainder of my makeup off. I quickly brush my teeth, as my stomach fills with butterflies at the thought of being in his arms again. I slowly open the bathroom door and tiptoe to the sitting room. Along the way, I follow the trail of clothes until I find my white summer dress. I pull the spaghetti straps up my shoulders and lean against the doorframe. My heart flutters at the sight in front of me.
"When we have a drink or three.. Always ends in a hazy shower scene."
Shawn stands in front of the balcony with the singular French door wide open. My eyes trail down his shirtless body, the cold I once felt completely disappearing. His pants hang loosely off his hips, exposing his perfect V-line. It drives him crazy when I swirl my tongue against it... The way his muscles look as he moves is breathtaking. I spot a cigarette in his hand as he turns in my direction. His hands are one of my favorite things about him. He doesn't realise I am watching as he tilts his head up, bringing the cigarette up to his lips. He slowly lets out a drag of smoke, and before I know it, I am walking towards him.
His eyes lock with mine, and he grins at my presence. He holds one hand out. I slowly glide my hand into his palm as if he would disappear if I moved too quickly. His hand swallows mine. Shawn interlocks our fingers and places the hand with the cigarette around my waist. He pulls me into him and kisses my forehead.
" Good morning, sleepy." His morning voice makes me weak in the knees.
He slowly sways us back and forth as I rest my head on his chest. I can feel the rhythm of his heartbeat and smile at the thought that I am the reason it is beating so fast.
"Nothing is gonna hurt you, baby, as long as you're with me, you'll be just fine."
"How long have you been awake?" I whisper, the music fills my ears, relaxing my entire body.
"For about an hour," he responds. I pull away from him and pull his hand off my waist, grabbing the cigarette from his hand. I bring it to my lips, taking a long drag and blowing the smoke towards the ceiling.
"You shouldn't smoke, Mendes, it's not good for you." He licks his lips and chuckles.
"Okay, hypocrite." I hand it back to him as he takes one last drag, putting it in an ashtray. He quickly pulls me back into him and leans in for a kiss. The taste of his tongue intoxicates me. I swirl my tongue with his as he lets out a moan. His hands slowly make their way to my butt as he gives it a light squeeze. I tangle my hands in his hair, gently pulling the ends. I am completely lost in him as he rests his forehead against mine, quietly gasping.
"Jump." He whispers
I obey, wrapping my legs around him as he slowly walks me to the balcony and sits me on top of the railing. He kisses me like it's the last time he will ever see me. I can't help the moan that falls from my lips as he moves to my neck, kissing just the right spot. I gently dig my heels into his butt, pushing him closer to me. I can feel how hard he is through his pants.
He pulls away, resting his forehead against mine, catching his breath.
"My god, I have missed you." I smile, placing my hand on his face.
"I missed you, too." He leans in and kisses the tip of my nose. I place my hands on his shoulders and slowly run them down his chest until I reach his necklace. I gently grab it and observe the cold metal in my hands. Normally, it is dangling above me, but I have never taken the time to observe it. I slowly flip the metal over and feel a lump in my throat. I stare at two large letters engraved in it.
My initials.
I drop the metal, and it hits his chest. I dangle my head and try to hold back tears. I feel his hand gently push my chin up to meet his eyes.
"What's wrong, baby?" His words are filled with warmth and concern
"Are those my initials?" I whisper
He gently nods his head, "It makes me feel like I have a piece of you with me when I'm gone. I'm sorry, do you think it's weird?"
"No, not at all," I respond, his eyes never leaving mine.
"When are you going to stop pushing me away?" I remain silent, not knowing how to respond.
"Not being able to hear your voice for the past eight months shattered me." I put my head back down; there's a pain in my chest knowing that I hurt him.
He gently rubs his hands on my thighs. His eyebrows are scrunched, and I can tell he's trying to figure out what I am thinking. He takes a breath and grabs both of my hands in his.
"Baby, you're it for me. There is no one else, you're the one. I'm sorry if that scares you, but it is my truth. There is no one on this Earth more perfect for me than you. I have never loved anyone the way that I love you. Please let me love you, don't push me away."
I look into his eyes, embarrassed as a single tear falls from my face.
"Everybody leaves." My voice is shaky as he gently wipes the tear from my face.
"I'm not going anywhere. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. Give me a chance." I gently pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around me. He feels like home, it doesn't matter where we are in the world, as long as I am with him, I am home.
He pulls away, looking into my eyes, "Will you finally say yes to being my girlfriend?"
"Yes." I can't help the giggle that escapes my mouth as he lifts me off the railing, spinning me around the room. He gently sets me down, and I whisper, " I love you."
He leans down and gently pecks my lips, "Say it again," he mumbles
"I love you," he pecks my lips a second time
"Again."His voice deepens
"I. Love. You." I say between kisses.
Shawn tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, gently bringing his hands to my shoulders.
"You know you could have put on my shirt this morning instead of your clothes. It would fit you like a dress anyway." He gently tugs at my spaghetti straps
"I didn't want to be cliche." I chuckle
He leans closer into me. "I wouldn't mind being cliché, may I?"
I nod my head as he slowly pulls my dress straps down. My dress falls to the floor, exposing my naked body. Shawn leans down gently, kissing each of my breasts. I lean my head back in pleasure as I play with his hair. He pulls away, and I almost let out a whine. He gently grabs my hand and leads me back to the bedroom. I watch as he copies me, following the trail of clothes on the floor until he finds his shirt.
"Raise your arms, baby." He grins
I lift my arms as he gently slides his shirt over my shoulders. He stands back and admires me.
"You're absolutely perfect." He walks backwards towards the bed, lifting the covers and getting in. He opens his arms, "Come here, love."
I melt into his arms as he places with my hair that spills all over his chest.
"You're my always babygirl." He whispers
I left my chin up as he gently kissed me.
"Always," I whisper back
"Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby, nothing's gonna take you from my side."
Note: mentions of a restraining order, legit the tiniest piece of spanish, based this on a dream I had. slightly smut implied, fluff
The zip to your red and white striped jumpsuit, was slid up up your back, Shawn’s soft hands resting on your hips afterward. He swayed the two of you for a moment, and you couldn’t help the small smile that graced your face.
This was your first real appearance as a couple, the Latin American Music Awards, Shawn’s song with Camila was nominated which is why your tall, white, brown haired boyfriend and you were going. Both of you had been spotted around in public after the Camila situation died down, but the fans thought you were his friend as they thought Camila was still dating your Canadian boyfriend.
You and Shawn had technically been dating before the ‘Shawmila’ dating stunt. At first you were fine with it, but then you were threatened by Camila who wanted Shawn for real, which although you knew wasn’t gonna happen, you broke up with Shawn mid-tour as it ‘wasn’t your scene after all’, not mentioning the Camila part, as you want them to succeed anyway. Shawn eventually flew to where you lived after finding out from Connor exactly why you broke up.
Fast forward, here you two were happy, the tour had finished, you were living together with Brian, and you’d never been happier. After Camila harassed and assaulted you twice, you got a restraining order against her without the public knowing to keep Shawn’s reputation and Cuban woman’s as it was the right thing to do; no matter how you were treated. They had a song together and it was best to do it under wraps.
You eventually told Shawn and informed Camila through her lawyer. Brian having helped you, was by your side during the whole thing as you’d thought of the idea whilst having a drink by the pool at the house (a Cola for you and him a beer, as you weren’t much of a drinker).
The contract between Shawn and Camila for dating had ended the week before the LAMAs. Meaning you could both go together, Shawn wanting to take you anyway as you were Latin American, not 100% but half.
You bit your lip bottom lip out of nerves, as this would be a proper outing as a couple, not a friends. Shawn’s hand came up from your waist to move a piece of hair to behind your ear, pressing a kiss below it. “Ready, gorgeous?”
Smiling, you hummed in agreement. You turn it his arms, eyeing his outfit, white pants with a red dress shirt, the shirt fitting him nice around the biceps and chest. His top buttons were undone, showing of the little chest hair he had, which until you had met Shawn, you didn’t like chest hair. “You look charming.” His soft locks were gelled to perfection as always.
“You look absolutely breathtaking.” Shawn looked between your nude painted lips, and brown eyes surrounded by a red shadow with a white inner corner and highlight. Mascara graced your lashes, a layer of concealer on your face set in place with setting powder, your makeup not being much as that’s how you liked it. The gold metal belt around your waist helped tie in your tan skin tone. The shoes on your feet were a red heel.
Blushing, you looked up at his beautiful light brown eyes, “Are you sure, you want to do this? I mean what about Camila and the restraining order? What will the fans say? What about- ”
You were cut off by Shawn’s soft lips, his smile noticeable through the kiss. After a moment, he pulled away, “Of course I’m sure, I love you and I talked to the people running the event and they are making sure Camila and you don’t sit near each other. The fans already love you even though they thought we were friends. I’ve seen edits about you on instagram and any other queries are just you worrying about things, it’ll be fine. I promise. Plus, I’ll need a translator.”
Chuckling, you smile at the thought that through everything he’s stuck with you, and although you have this restraining order he still wants to be seen with you and for you to come with him, even going as far as organising that you sit a certain distance from her. “I love you, you know that?”
He grins and his eyes look at you holding nothing but love. “Oh, I know. Trust me.” He kissed you again, careful not to mess with your lipstick.
-
The two of you were about to walk the red carpet, your hands were fiddling with each other, your tattoo on your wrist catching your eyes. Breathing in, you think of the man next to you chatting with the lady about to announce your arrival. She held signs saying ‘Shawn Mendes & His Date’ followed by your name. The fact that your name was on a laminated sheet of paper made you both nervous and confident, like you were supposed to be there.
Shaking your head, you try to rid of the negative thoughts, like how you suddenly felt bloated and ugly. Shawn placed his hand on your lower back, instantly calming you. The April weather of Vegas made you feel the perfect temperature. The lady who was just talking to Shawn led the people in front of you to walk on to the carpet, whilst Shawn turned to you.
“Alright, so we’ll walk on when motioned to.” You nod, taking slow breaths. “We’ll get shouted at from all angles, but just look in different directions at the paps. We will be taking joint photos then single photos, just to show off outfits.” The fact you would be photographed without Shawn in front of all those people made you tense. He felt it and added, “It’ll be fine and I’ll be close by, it will be about a minute and if you need to leave, just say my name.”
Breathing out, you nodded as the lady came back. “Your turn.” She spoke to you and Shawn with a slight accent.
Shawn’s hand stayed on your lower back as you walked out with the lady holding the sign to the paps. You matched Shawn’s pace, not wanting to walk too fast or too slow. Gulping, you stopped on the marker with Shawn, and smiled at the flashing cameras, trying not to blink too much.
You’d seen Shawn do this many times, and with his anxiety he seemed fine, so you relaxed.
People shouted your name and his as you stood and posed with him, making it look as natural as possible. Soon, it was time to take single shots, so Shawn moved to the next marker and you stayed where you were.
You smiled with teeth and not, your arm on your waist, leg extended a little, looking over your shoulder and looking forward. Trying to show the outfit as much as you could, whilst still making it natural. This kinda made you nervous, but honestly, mainly confident and sexy.
Glancing to Shawn after a moment, he was ushering you to him which you obliged to, as you might have messed your eyes up with those flashing lights. Both of you moved further down the carpet to the billboard interviewer, who asked about both of your outfits and the nomination. She then mentioned how Shawn had brought you to which he replied sweetly, “I wanted to bring someone special as this is my first time at the Latin American Music Awards, so I brought Y/N to share this experience with and also translate the Spanish spoken. But mainly, cause I thought it was about time to.”
He said no more, even though it was clear the interviewer wanted more, but we were ushered from the carpet into the venue. Apparently, Camilla was arriving. We were shown to our seats on the right side of the Venetian, the stage in full view.
“I’m proud of you.” Shawn whispers in your ear.
Smiling you whisper back, “Espero que ganes, preciosa.” [I hope you win, gorgeous].
“I have no idea what you said, beside preciosa, but it sounded beautiful coming from you.” He leaned in and kissed your lips.
-
Shawn had obviously won ‘cause he’s amazing and talented. Him and Camila walked on stage to accept the award before disappearing backstage, leaving you alone for a bit which was uncomfortable, but he soon reappeared apologising. But you didn’t care, cause he’d won and you loved his smile, and the hard work he puts into his projects. Oh, and you loved him.
You were both at the after party now and were dancing to Mi Necesita, you were low key grinding against Shawn, which he really didn’t mind. His hands followed your sides down to your legs, making you all hot and bothered. Shawn leaned his forehead into your neck, which wasn’t as much of a bend since you were in heels, trotting kisses along your neck as you leaned back into him with a smile on your face.
Oh, how you loved him.
His hands slid from your thighs upwards to your waist, resting on it as you swayed. “You wanna get out of here?” He whispered into your ear.
You smiled, nodding. Turning in his arms, you saw his lazy boyish smile, kissing his lips quickly. “Come on, Bub.” You motioned with your head to head to the exit, your hand in his. “I have an idea where we can go.”
-
Your shoes were somewhere on the floor with his, you had made a quick stop at the drugstore. Shawn held you close as you danced away in your laces, your feet gliding together. Lips tangled with each other as you kissed, smiles on both your faces. His cheeks were rosy as was his chest, his chest hairs teasing you.
Pulling away, you chuckled at how cute he looked.
There your 6”2 boyfriend stood, rosy cheeks, hair a mess because of your curious hands, shirt untucked from his white dress pants, nose red, and of course, the ice skates laced on his big feet. You held a hand to your face as you shamelessly checked him out. Shawn spun in a circle when he noticed you checking him out, being dramatic, he bowed afterwards. Laughing, you almost slipped in your own skates, he quickly helped you regain your balance before, you smirked and skated off, pushing him playfully.
“Oh, I see how it is.” He skated after you, as you giggled. Shawn watched on as he chased you, a smile on his face at how cute you were. You still had your jumpsuit on, hair down, his jacket on you as you were cold and to finish off a perfect look, the ice skates on your feet. Now, you were fast, but he was leaner and faster with his hockey experience.
He caught up, grabbing your waist through his jacket which swamped you, spinning you in his arms. You laughed as he tickled you slightly, wrapping your legs carefully around his hips, as your eyes held contact. His brown eyes held on your eyes, a look of love held in them. Both of your lips held each other in a passion filled kiss, one filled with love and happiness.
The rink only had you two in it, along with Marty the Janitor who always let you two lovebirds skate around late at night. Even if it was spur of the moment and you had to stop to get socks.
Shawn was proud of you in every way. The award show, the red carpet and how far you’ve come in general, with your confidence and anxiety. He loved you and stood by you through every second.
“I’m proud of you.” Shawn whispered against your lips as he pulled away slightly, his eyes finding yours again.
Your fingers ran into the hair on the back of the neck, and you couldn’t help but smile at his words and how he leaned into your hands as you scratched the back of his hair. Shawn’s head fell back and leaned down and kissed his Adam’s apple, forcing a small moan from him.
Hi, I’ve been super absent and I’m so sorry. I’m starting to heal and move on with my life, so I’ve taken time off of writing, but a life without writing is not one I want. So, here’s a shitty imagine I wrote in like 30 minutes.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I mumbled to myself as my coffee hit the ground, my heart exploded with it.
“That’s not a very nice word to say.” A kids voice behind me states loudly, I could’ve jumped out of my skin. When I turn around, there was the cutest little girl standing there; her brown curls flowing down her shoulders.
“It wasn’t nice at all, I’m sorry. Where are your parents?” I ask and she frowns for a bit. “My mom had two boyfriends.” She states and I had to hide my laugh, I loved when kids overshared their parent's information.
“My daddy is somewhere, I can’t find him. I’m scared.” Her lip started to tremble and I crouched down to her level, engulfing her in a hug. “Do you know your dad's number, darling?” I ask and she nods. “He made me memorize it but I don’t have a phone.”
I handed her mine and she slowly typed in the numbers, I mean she did pretty well for a 5-year-old. I took the phone from her small hands and put it on speaker.
“Hello!” A voice frantically answered and I could tell from her eyes lighting up that it was her dad.
“Daddy!” Her little voice echoed and I heard a sigh of relief.
“Hi, this is y/n. I’m here with your daughter, she came up to me, she’s okay but a little scared. We’re on the corner of 5th Avenue, right by Joe’s Coffee Shack.” I explain while the little girl held on to my hand tightly.
“Okay, thank you. I’ll be there in like 2 minutes thank you.” The phone hung up quickly and I bent back down to her level.
“Your name is Y/n? That’s a pretty name.” She mumbled and I smiled. “What’s your name girly?” I ask while buttoning up her coat. “Millie.” She mumbles again and I grin. “Millie, what a pretty name for such a pretty girl.” I grin when she looks up hopefully.
“Really?” She asks and I nod quickly. “Of course! You’re a little superstar!” I lightly grab her hands.
I looked at my watch to see how long it’d been since the call, not even a minute yet.
“You’re a brave girl, asking for help. How’d you choose me?” I ask I was pretty curious about it.
“I was hiding over there and I saw you walking, you have the same shirt as my daddy.” She pointed to my Queen shirt. “Oh, so your dad is a music guy?” I ask and she giggles. “He’s famous and everything!” She yells and I smile. “Oh, I’m sure he is.” Seems like an adoring child who thinks their dad walks on water.
“Millie Alli Mendes, what in the world were you thinking?” We both look over, well fuck. She wasn’t lying about her dad being famous. I mean I hardly listen to newer music but everyone knew Shawn Mendes. He looks like a straight-up God. She also wasn’t lying about the shirts, we had on the exact same white T-shirt with the band's logo.
“Daddy, I’m so sorry. I saw a puppy on a leash and I followed it, it was so pretty and fluffy. I’m sorry.” Her eyes were watering and his face softened. “Don’t ever do that again, I almost had a heart attack.” He picks her up, finally taking a glance at me.
“Thank you so much —“ he waited for my name, Millie beat me to it. “Y/n. She has a pretty name, doesn’t she daddy?” She asks and he nods. “Very pretty name.” He grins widely. I had told him my name on the phone but I’m sure the adrenaline blocked it out.
“Looks like you dropped your drink, let us buy you a new one. You’ve helped me out today, it’s the least I could do.” He begs and I smile with a nod. “Sure, I can use another one.”
“When she dropped her drink, she used a very bad word daddy.” Millie giggled and I scrunch up slightly. “I did, in my defense, I was really looking forward to the drink before I spilled it.”
However, in my mind, I was thinking about how I wasn’t sure about this situation all, I was being taken to get a drink from a celebrity who lost their adorable child. But I’m not gonna be weird about it, I really wanted my marble frappe.
We ordered and sat down, Millie climbing into my lap a good 3 minutes in. “Millie, be polite and use your manners, maybe she doesn’t want you crawling over her.” He scolds and I shake my head, locking her into my arms. “No, she’s fine. I’ve grown quite fond of her.” I smile towards her, letting her eat a piece of my chocolate muffin.
“Well, you obviously have a great taste in music.” Shawn breaks the barrier, I nod. “I mean, what can I say, you do too apparently.” I joke and he shakes his head.
Time passed as we continued to talk about Millie, music, and stupid shit. It honestly felt so good, I felt like I was catching up with an old friend who I hadn’t seen in a while.
“Well, Millie has dance lessons. Maybe I can see you again soon?” He asks hopefully and I smile.
“As long as Millie is attended to when I first see her.” I joke and he rolls his eyes.
“So it's a hard yes, she’s not leaving my sights like that again.” He smiles
“Yeah? Then where is she right now?” I ask, knowing she was hiding under my legs, plus I heard her giggles.
His eyes widened in a complete panic, I almost felt bad for him but I grabbed his hand gently. I pointed toward the ground and his face relaxed dramatically. He squeezed my hand tightly before letting it go.
“I’ll see you soon. Millie get up here, now.” He sounded stern and I give him a look to be nice.
“I’m telling your grandma about what you did.” He threatens as he walks out of the door, I giggled at the goofiness between both of them. Something about them made my heart feel different, a good way but still different.
————— year & 1/2 later
“Can you please help me tonight baby? I know we’re supposed to go on our date but Mil has a fever and is sick. I can’t get ahold of the nanny, Millie won’t stop crying.” Shawn’s frantic voice filled my phone, my heart sad at the thought that he’s so stressed and that Mil was sick.
“I’ll come over, it’s gonna be alright babe. Bye.”
I stopped into the store to grab some soup before making my way to Shawn’s house, which was right down the road from my apartment.
“I’m here.” I sigh while dropping the soups onto the counter. “Thank you so much, I’m so sorry.” He pleads and I grasp the back of his neck. “Hey, you don’t have to apologize to me. I’m more than happy to stay in and watch Netflix. I can fix soup all night and give her Tylenol every 4 hours. I’m here.” I kiss his lips softly and he shakes his head. “You’re too good to me.”
“I know, but I also know you’ll find a way to make it up to me.” I wink and he shakes his head, small grin on his lips. “Yeah, I think we’ve established that before.”
“Maybe you should see her, she’d be glad to see your face instead of mine. She stopped crying 10 minutes ago when I told her you were on your way.” Shawn adds I nod. “Can you make some soup while I change, then I’ll take it to her,” I suggest and he nods. “Already laid out one of my shirts on my bed.” He smiles and I blushed slightly. “What a gentleman.”
I walked into his room, I’ve spent plenty of nights in here. It was such a beautiful space, the bed was huge and took up most of the room. Our pictures and pictures of Millie filled the halls leading to the room and the room itself.
I walked out of the room with his Queen shirt on, it fit better than mine did. I always insisted on wearing his instead, it smelled like him too, so it was a selling point.
I grab the bowl full of soup and a can of sprite, then head towards her room, her door was open and the tv slightly up.
“Y/n!” She hoarsely let out and it broke my heart. “Hey doll, I brought you something to eat. It’s so good, daddy and I had some in the kitchen.” I lied to make her feel better about eating it, Shawn had explained she didn’t want anything all day. He had to force some crackers.
She took a few bites before pushing it away, sipping on sprite slowly. Usually, this girl was like her dad, eating everything before you could blink. “I don’t feel good at all.” She groans and I take her hand into mine, other one combing through her damp curls.
“It’s gonna be alright. You’re such a tough girl and it’ll be okay.” I smile down at her, she half-heartedly smiles. “Are you staying with me? I don’t want you to get sick.” She whines and I chuckle. “You don’t have to worry about that, if I get sick I’ll just make your daddy take care of me.” I joke and send a small wink.
I could tell she was too tired to hold a full conversation, so I gave her some more Tylenol before heading out of her room with the bowl of leftover soup.
“She ate some of it, took some Tylenol and she looked almost out of it.”
“Thank you so much, I’m sorry again. I’ve just been here all day while she vomits or coughs herself to death. I mean it’s the first time I’ve seen her this sick since she was like 3.” He admits and I frown.
“Well, my years of working in a daycare where sickness spread like gossip are about to be handy.” I joke and he giggles.
“I’m so glad you’re here, you know how to make any mood better.” He groans in a delighted way.
“Well, I’m gonna eat that macaroni salad you had leftover and lay on the couch.” I grin and make my plate, taking it to the couch.
I played AGT while we ate, I heard Millie sneeze or cough occasionally.
—-
The sound of cries filled my ears, I shot up quickly and so did Shawn. “I’ve got it, rest,” I told him and I saw the hesitation in his eyes, but I pushed him back down and made my way to her room.
She was in the bathroom attached to her room, she had got sick again, luckily in the toilet. I stood over her to put her hair up in a bun, in case she did it again. I got a rag to put on her, but the feeling of her skin told me she needed a quick cold shower.
“Baby, let’s get in the shower,” I told her, she started whining and didn’t want to get in. So, I started the water and held her while we both stood underneath the cold water. I’m glad I like cold showers, or my ass would be frozen to death.
I got her out of the wet clothes, she was so whiny the whole time, as expected. Her fever was down and she went straight back to bed.
“Please don’t leave yet, I’m scared.” She called out and I nodded before sitting by her bed.
“It’s okay doll, I’m right here. It’s gonna be just fine. Let’s take some of this medicine and eat some crackers, it’ll help.”
She has finished a few saltines and took a kids NyQuil and Dramamine. By the time the medicine started to work, she was drowsy and ready to fall asleep again. “Goodnight doll.” I kiss her forehead, starting to leave the room.
“Night, mommy.” She mumbled and it stopped me in my tracks, a big smile played on my lips and I felt butterflies all over.
I made my way back to Shawn, shaking his body to wake him up. “Let’s go to bed Shawn, you’re gonna hurt your back.” I tug at his arms. “But, what if she needs us?” He asks and I continue to tug at him. “She took Dramamine and NyQuil, she’s gonna be okay.” I get him up and make our way to the bedroom.
“Why is your shirt wet?” He mumbles as he collapsed onto his bed. “She didn’t want to shower alone,” I explain shortly and he had a small grin on his face. “You’re the best girl I’ve ever had in my entire life.” He smiles up absentmindedly, I shake my head at his goofiness as I change into a different tee.
I lay beside him and he just stares at me warmly. “What?” I ask and he just shakes his head. “You’re just amazing.”
“She called me mom. I know it’s not that big of a deal because we’ve only been together for over a year and a half, plus she’s on drowsy medicine, but it warmed my soul.” His eyes widen and then went back to normal after I said it felt good.
“I mean you’re the most mom figure she’s ever had. I guess you should just move in with us.” He sounded like he was jokingly saying it. “Yeah, okay.” I laugh and he sits up a little to look over at me.
“I’m being serious now like you can move in with us. You won’t have to move that far, unlimited access to Mil and I. We love you and want you here.” He adds and my heart explodes.
“Shawn, are you sure? I’m always here or whatever, but this is different. I don’t want to rush you into this.” I brush out some of his curls, he sighed contently.
“What other girls our age, who isn’t already a mom, going to stay with someone else’s kid to make sure they make it through a virus? Or to jump in a cold shower with them? I don’t want to imagine any other good night or bad night with someone else, it’s gonna be you. I’m sure the mom role isn’t gonna be the easiest nor do I expect it from you because you’re my girlfriend, but someone like you in her life is the best I can get. You’re an outstanding woman and I don’t think I’ll ever be this close to perfection again. There’s no rushing this, it’s you.”
“Baby,” I mumbled with tears in my eyes. I mean he can’t just give me a speech like that and not expect me to want to marry him right now. “You’re the sweetest human on this earth. I just really love the two of you and I mean I love kids because I worked in a daycare, but my love for Millie is so much more. I literally just don’t want her to ever get hurt and I want to watch her grow. I love her most because she’s you, she lacks a mom but she has you and is just like you. You’re as amazingly wonderful and it’s like the tiny human form.”
“So, is that a yes to moving in or a big pretty speech before you crush my soul?” He asks and I chuckle.
“Yes I’ll move in with you, I don’t wanna do this without you guys.”
I watch his face light up more, he kisses all over my face and bear hugs me. “God, this means I get to wake up to your beautiful face every day.” He exclaimed while squeezing the life out of me.
“Can you believe that your daughter saw my Queen shirt and it led to this? Like this whole new life for us?” I ask and he chuckles into the crevice of my neck, the hot air tickling me some.
“Good thing she wasn’t scared off by your potty mouth.” He whispers and I slap his back lightly.
“Hey, don’t be a dick! I dropped my drink.” I pout even though he can’t see it.
He hums approval before nuzzling further into me, arms tight and patterns being traced.
It was calm and almost full silence before he broke it, in a quiet manner though.
“And if the mother role gets to be too much, just tell me. The last thing I want is to lose you from being pressured into it.” He whispers and I shake my head.
“It’s all gonna be alright, Freddie Mercury would believe it’s all gonna work itself out, so I will believe it too. We’re gonna be just fine, love.”
The setting was no different to y/n. The dancing sweating bodies, the loud music, the smoke, the fights; the same shit every night. It's where she belongs, she thought. She looked to her left and saw a basic stereotypical scenario going on in the bar she was in. A married man hitting on a slightly younger female who was showing way too much skin. It wasn't a problem, y/n had actually envied her dress.
She would look to her right and see another stereotypic scenario, a man or woman washing their pain away with the devils liquid. Y/n sat at the bar stool taking another shot as her legs were crossed under the bar. She tapped her glass at the bartender telling him she wanted a refill. He poured more into the glass as she downed the strong stinging liquid and slammed it back on the counter. The bartender gestured the bottle towards her glass mentally asking if she wanted a refill to which she politely denied seeing as her cheeks were already starting to heat up, feeling a little buzz.
Y/n lost count on how many shots she has taken but it doesn't matter because she knows how to handle her alcohol and how much she can take before she starts getting tipsy. The giggling beside her was starting to drive her insane and y/n almost whipped her head around to shut them both up but she felt a hand on her waist and she gasped but as soon as she looked down, she knew exactly who it was by the tattooed hand. "Hey," he whispered in her ear sending shivers down her spine. She turned her head to the side slightly and met his beautiful brown eyes, "Hey."
Y/n knows this is wrong, that she shouldn't fall for his games again. But the scent of him filling her nostrils, his hands securing her waist, his hot breath on her neck has her like she was putty in his hands once again.
"I've missed you," he sweetly smiles at y/n, y/n licks her lips nodding, "not going to lie, feeling's mutual." Shawn was leaning against the bar on his side now as he stared at y/n's features. "Good to know, honey," he smirks as y/n rolls her eyes at that damn nickname. "What's up with that," Shawn furrows his eyebrows.
"What's up with what?" Y/n taunts him. He shook his head, "forgot about that attitude that you had." Y/n scoffed, "I remember you hating that, that's why I did it," she raises her eyebrows at him. "I don't think I ever hated it hun, I know I made you think that, but it was actually," he looked down licking his lips and then back into y/n's eyes, "it was actually quite sexy."
"Shawn," y/n shook her head, "don't," she put her hand on her forehead, rubbing it softly. "Don't what?" He cocked his head to the side, taking his bottom lip in between his lip sparking something inside of y/n.
"We broke up, Shawn," y/n called the bartender over and pointed to her glass as he poured the liquid inside as it splashed a little. She lifted the glass up, parting her lips, letting the liquid go down her throat as Shawn intently watched her every move. He hated to admit it but he was slightly turned on watching her lips part, remembering the sinful things she was able to do with those lips. Hell, he was turned on the minute he saw the back of her body, the dress hugging her curves in all the right places, the way her back was slightly arched.
"Why did we, though?" Shawn asked as he set his hand on her thigh and y/n snapped her head to look at him. "Please," he lowered himself to her, whispering in her ear, "enlighten me on why we decided to break up, because I can't seem to think of a good reason right now," he was smirking against her skin as he kissed her exposed shoulder making y/n's eyes flutter shut. Y/n clenched her thighs together forgetting his hand was still placed there as he chuckled deeply, standing straight back up, "clenching your thighs now, eh?"
Y/n coughed, clearing her throat, "Shawn." His hand was massaging the inside of her thigh now, close to her heat but not close enough to satisfy anyone. Just increasing the sexual tension between them both.
Their relationship was just plain toxic, but y/n couldn't deny that the sex wasn't phenomenal. Not to sound cliche, but Shawn was the best y/n has ever had. With anyone else, y/n had faked her orgasms and Shawn made her cum more than 3 times in one night. Shawn knew her body like the back of his hand, knew how far he could push her, knew how much she could take, and knew exactly just what she wanted.
"Yes?" He answered as his hand started to move up further. Y/n let out a shaky breath as his cocky smirk grew. "We can't," y/n finally pushed his hand off her thigh and he sighed. "Come on baby," he begged as he sat down on the stool next to y/n after the annoying people have left, leaning into y/n's neck. "Just one more night, let me show you how much I miss you," he begged into y/n's neck and y/n was getting slightly turned on by his pleading. She clenched her thighs once more, biting her lip as Shawn was smirking against her, "Just," his slipped his hand between her thighs again, letting his fingers ghost over her wet panties, as she arched her back slightly, "one more night," he chuckled, "I can feel you babygirl." Y/n wanted to moan at his words, almost forgetting they were still in public.
Y/n knew this shouldn't be happening. It would be the third time they have hooked up since they broke up a few months ago. She knew that if she left with him again, she doesn't know if she'll be able to leave again. He's so addictive to her, he's worse than nicotine.
"One more night," she gave in as he smirked, sticking his tongue in his cheek, looking her up and down. "That's my girl," he retracts his hand from her dripping heat and y/n almost whines at the loss of contact. He places his lips on hers, connecting their lips for the first time that night as y/n kisses back and she places a hand on the back of his neck but shawn pulls away. "Let's get out of here then, eh?" He smirks staring at her wet plump lips. Y/n nods her head, completely fucked for him once again.
He grabs her hand as he puts a 50 dollar bill on the counter for her and pulls her out of the bar.
Once they had entered Shawn's loft, Shawn was about to pin her against the wall but he was pushed onto the couch as he smirked up at y/n and her newly found confidence.
The sight made y/n knees buckle. His legs spread as he rested into the couch with his hands on either sides of him as he eyed her up and down. Y/n straddled him, and his hands instantly met her hips but she pushed them down, shaking her head. He licked his lips becoming more turned on at her boldness. She was never like this in the bedroom. He was always dominating her and making her feel good but y/n was set on making him beg for her and having him almost whining for her. She felt herself dripping at the thought.
She put her arms around his neck as she rolled her hips onto his semi-hard on as he groaned throwing his head back, as he closed his eyes, licking his lips. "That's it baby," Shawn groaned.
Y/n's pace started to slow down and Shawn wasn't having it as his eyebrows furrowed and he brought his hands up to her waist, guiding her to go faster and she did. Y/n threw her head back enjoying the feeling and Shawn smirked up at her. Y/n scolded herself inside her head as she stopped moving and swatted Shawn's hands away and he groaned in defeat.
"When did you become so dominant, honey?"
Y/n stopped moving her hips completely, "I don't know, do you like it?"
Shawn licked his lips slowly nodding his head, "it's so fucking hot babygirl." Y/n smirked as she got off Shawn's lap and sat on the floor between his legs giving him a full view of her cleavage and Shawn's eyes instantly widened.
Shawn was so worked up now he could probably cum to the sight of her on her knees for him. He took his bottom lip between his teeth, knitting his eyebrows together, watching her every move.
Y/n was smirking up at shawn in a seductive way and Shawn cursed under his breath. Y/n reached up, unbuckling his belt and pulled it out of his jean loops as his hands rested on the couch on either sides of his legs.
"Gonna take my cock, sweetheart?" Shawn uttered making y/n's head spin. Y/n did not want him to win, he already got her back to his place, she wasn't going to let him take control.
"No talking," she stated. She pulled his jeans down his legs. Shawn raised his eyebrows, a slight smirk plastered on his lips as he watched her place her hand around his hard member, Shawn shivering at the feeling.
"Shit," he cursed quietly as she moved her hand up and down his sex. He threw his head back groaning as she used her other hand to massage his balls. The moment he really lost it was when she put her lips around his tip.
"Baby," he raised his hips and looked down at her and was met with her stare, darkened eyes due to the lust she carried. He knew what that stare meant. He wasn't supposed to be talking or making any kind of noise for that matter. As she took more of him down her throat, Shawn's head went back as he breathed out, letting his eyes roll back letting the pleasure overtake him.
"God," He groaned. Y/n started to take him much faster in her mouth, the scene looked like it was straight out of a porno. Shawn cursed as he grabbed her hair and told her to stop.
"I'm going to cum if you don't stop, baby," he clenched his teeth together, shutting his eyes as he felt her suck harder and faster. He was done for. Just as he was about to cum, y/n stopped and Shawn groaned as she stood up from her knees, wiping her mouth.
"Shit," he cursed looking up at her. His cock was throbbing now and he needed a release. Y/n slowly straddled him, letting her center hover above his hardened member. "You want it, baby?" She asked in a seductive voice, licking her lips.
"Fuck yes, ride my cock, princess." He put his hands on her hips, rubbing slightly. Y/n slowly sank onto him, letting her tight walls entrap him. "Oh god," he groaned, shutting his eyes and letting his head fall back. His hands were on her bum now and with every thrust from her, he'd squeeze her cheeks with such force, it made y/n whimper and start to pick up her pace a little bit.
Shawn picked his head up, looking at y/n, eyes full of lust as he bit his bottom lip, looking her up and down slowly. "Look at you, baby," he kissed her, "taking my cock so well," he kissed her again, "like it was fucking made just for you, honey," he groaned when she rolled her hips harder, making him bite her bottom lip, pulling back and letting go, letting her lip slap back in place. He kissed her again as she ran her hands through his hair and he sat up a little bit, putting his hands completely under her bum and started to pick her up himself and letting her slam back on him.
"Ah!” she moaned out, and he repeated his actions, taking control, but she was so out of it now, she wanted him to destroy her and she just didn't care how he did it.
"Shawn," she moaned. He looked at her, foreheads touching, "you like that, honey? You like it when I fuck you this hard?" She moaned at his words and he smirked, "Yeah I know you do, look at you, you're so wrecked, baby. Just let go for me. Cum on my cock, princess." Y/n moaned louder, clenching around him and he groaned pulling her hair. "Shit, do that again." She obeyed him and clenched around him again causing him to actually moan, as he thrusted up into her.
He connected both of their lips as she felt herself starting to get to closer to her release, head falling back and shawn took this opportunity to leave some love bites on her exposed neck and placed his hands on her hips.
"You close baby?" He asked, reaching a hand between their bodies and started playing with her clit. "Fuck, yes," she breathed out, lifting her head and kissing him. He groaned into the kiss and y/n leaned back, breaking the kiss, as she moaned loudly, curling her toes, feeling the tightness in her stomach as she let go around him. She felt him still inside of her, as he reached his high, still thrusting inside of her, mainly trying to get himself to cum but also to ride her high out.
A string of quiet curses left his mouth as he released inside of y/n, causing him to fall back against the couch, breathing out. She got off of him, laying next to him.
Y/n sighed knowing she had to leave because she knew if she stayed any longer, she wouldn't be able to leave. She started to stand up and gather her clothes. Shawn sat up grabbing her wrist, "what are you doing?" He furrowed his eyebrows.
"What do you mean?" Y/n looked at him, her eyebrows mimicking his. He grabbed her hands, linking their fingers together, looking up at her, "don't leave." You looked to the side of him and then back at his eyes, "what?"
"Don't leave," he pulled her closer. "You want me to stay?" She slightly raised an eyebrow. He looked up at her with pleading eyes, "yes, please, just stay, spend the night," he leaned forward leaving small kisses on her abdomen. Y/n fluttered her eyes shut, letting her hands let go of his and placing them in his hair.
"Shawn," she said knowing this was a bad idea. "Please," he whispered against her. His hands were on her lower back, "I'm begging you to stay, y/n; please just stay." Y/n licked her lips, eyes still shut.
"I won't be able to leave, shawn, I almost didn't leave the last time let alone the time before that."
"It's fine," he shook his head, "it's fine." His eyes squeezed shut, leaning against her. Y/n dropped her clothes, sitting on his lap, putting her hands on with sides of his face, connecting their lips in a slow, passionate kiss. He wrapped his arms around her, her hands still on his face. The situated themselves so they were laying on his couch, bodies sticking to one another.
"Just stay," he said against her forehead.
Y/n didn't want to admit it but she was his again but at the same time she loved the idea. She felt her whole body relax against him, his soft breaths in her hair, his hand rubbing her back. She looked up, his eyes shut, mouth parted slightly. His hand was starting to slow down and she smiled as she felt her eyes start to slowly shut.
"I still love you," shawn whispered so quietly it was almost a mumble.
"What?" Y/n looked up at him, but it was too late, he was already out.
Y/n was a quiet girl who mostly kept to herself. She had a small group of friends but, was never apart of the popular crowd. She had a crush on Shawn Mendes.
Shawn Mendes was the school’s quarterback. He was one of the popular guys at school. He always got the winning touchdown at every school game.
Shawn was dating the most popular cheerleader at school, Hailey Baldwin. Hailey was also apart of the popular crowd. Hailey and Shawn were the it couple of the school. They’ve been together since the beginning of high school, who knew how long they were gonna last.
Shawn and Y/n were neighbours. Both of their bedroom windows faced each other. So they both could see into each other’s room.
One particular night, Shawn was on the phone with Hailey. They were having an argument about something Shawn must’ve said. Shawn’s curtains were open, so Y/n could see everything.
“Too bad she doesn’t get your humour like I do.” Y/n thought to herself.
Y/n was in her room, listening to the music Hailey didn’t like. Y/n was having a little dance party without realizing her curtains were also open.
Shawn got off the phone with Hailey, after finally getting her to understand his side of the argument. Shawn looked over to Y/n’s window and saw her dancing around her room.
Shawn always thought Y/n was cute. Shawn’s favourite thing about her was she was always herself. Shawn laughed to himself at Y/n’s dancing. He closed his curtains and went to bed.
It was the next day, Y/n was sitting at the bus stop waiting for her bus. Shawn was making his way to the bus stop.
“He’s got a smile that can light up this whole town.” Y/n thought to herself.
“Good morning Y/n, I know you enjoyed your night last night. I saw you dancing in your room.” Shawn said, as he sat beside Y/n.
“Oh really? I didn’t mean to leave my curtains open.” Y/n blushed from embarrassment.
“It’s okay, nothing to be embarrassed about. I thought it was cute actually.” Shawn complimented Y/n.
Y/n couldn’t believe that Shawn called her dancing cute. She was still embarrassed by the fact he saw.
“I was wondering if you were going to home coming? I’d love to see you sitting on the bleachers supporting the team.” Shawn said.
“Oh actually n-“ Y/n was interrupted by a car pulling up to the bus stop.
“Hey honey, why’re you taking the bus? Ew. Thank God I was just driving by. Get in, I’ll drop you at school.” Hailey said to Shawn, while looking at Y/n in disgust.
“Oh sure. Sorry Y/n. I’ll talk to you later.” Shawn said, as he got into Hailey’s car.
Hailey and Shawn drove off. Y/n was left alone at the bus stop.
“I knew he could never like a girl like me.” Y/n thought to herself.
It was now the night of the homecoming game and dance. It was the talk at school. Everyone was going to the game. Even Y/n and her friends. Y/n was only going to see Shawn play of course.
At the game, Y/n and her friends sat at the bleachers. She looked out onto the field and saw Hailey cheering while the football team was getting into position. The game was about to start any second.
The game was intense. But, of course Shawn got the winning touchdown and their team won. Everyone was cheering loudly.
Hailey was flirting with one of the other football players and Shawn saw. He quickly made his way towards them.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Shawn asked Hailey.
“I was just congratulating him on winning the game.” Hailey insisted.
“Well you didn’t congratulate your own boyfriend on winning the game. You know what? I’m over us. We’re breaking up!” Shawn declared, as he was walking towards the change rooms.
Everyone was left in shock. Y/n was filled with joy.
“Does this mean I have a chance?” Y/n wondered.
Shawn was back home. He was done getting ready for the dance. He looked towards Y/n’s room, and saw she was studying.
Y/n looked up and saw Shawn all ready for the dance. “Wow he looks handsome in a suit.” Y/n thought.
Shawn and Y/n made eye contact. Shawn quickly got a pen and paper and wrote, “are you going to the dance?” Which Y/n replied with, “no, studying.”
Shawn looked bumped out. He was hoping Y/n would come. He was excited to see her all dressed up. Shawn got up to leave for the dance.
“Maybe I should go.” Y/n thought.
Y/n quickly found a dress in her closet, and quickly did her hair and makeup. She was ready to go to the homecoming dance.
When Y/n arrived, she noticed majority of the school was here.
“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. It’s not too late to turn around.” Y/n nervously thought.
Y/n slowly entered the school. Everyone’s eyes landed on her. She was so nervous. That is until she made eye contact with Shawn.
Shawn couldn’t believe Y/n had made it. He slowly made his way towards her. Until he was interrupted.
“Hey babe, did you forget I was your date?” Hailey said, trying to distract Shawn from Y/n.
“Sorry, but I have no date.” Shawn said, as he pushed past Hailey.
Shawn walks up to Y/n and stares at her in amazement.
“You look beautiful tonight. I can’t believe you made it.” Shawn said.
“Well have you ever thought just maybe that, you belong with me?” Y/n replied.
Shawn grabs Y/n’s face and slowly starts to lean in. They both kiss in the middle of the dance floor, as everyone watches around them.
Shawn and Y/n had a perfect night. And they both belonged to each other.
Growing Out Of It: Pt. 1 - The Unexpected (Shawn Mendes)
In which the reunion of old school friends stirs up some uninvited feelings
No warning, just very slow burn-ish. Also roughly 4.2k words. Enjoy!
Mary-Anne shot an expectant glance from the other side of the bar, thin brows wrinkled and mouth straight. “Kid spilled her drink at 12.”
Judging by her exasperated tone, I obviously wasn’t the only one categorically done with LLV’s Kid’s Sundays. I liked kids, I really did, but they were still a pain in the ass sometimes.
And the parents.
I sighed, remembering the run-in with a particularly nasty mother last Sunday who had insisted that her little five-year-old wouldn’t - couldn’t - consume our fatty french fries, which, by the way, were literally the food about seventy percent of LLV’s costumers came here for, and complained about how we, as a restaurant, endangered her child’s health.
Fucking tourists.
Usually I liked my job, really, it was quite fun, quite sociable, it paid the bills (the horrendously high bills in Toronto), and I couldn’t recall too many unpleasant encounters with costumers, Canadian customers, but those Americans. Sometimes Europeans, too. They could be arseholes.
Desperately wishing for a nice, peaceful family at 12, I grabbed a few napkins, a wet wash cloth and made my way over along the dark, wooden bar, through the black maple pillars and the maze of birch tables, all filled with happy families, some with only one kid, some with grandparents and some pushed together to accommodate all six children. I waved at Tina and Felix, Jonah and Tracy (I hadn’t remembered the names of the little twins yet) and nodded at Mr. and Mrs. Crubick. They made it to every Kid’s Saturday.
Today they sat at 15, meaning that I was only three tables away. And yes, I probably should’ve noticed the woman crouched on the floor a few metres down and a toddler wiggling her arms, barely reaching above the table top, a wee bit earlier. Because then I definitely wouldn’t have stepped into the wet patch on the floor, stumbled and almost lost my balance.
The woman looked up, her short blonde hair messed up and shirt battered with a few light yellow stains. She looked exhausted. “I’m so, so sorry. Little Amy was way too excited about her apple juice.”
“No, ma’am. It’s all fine, no worries. This happens all the time here.” I said, getting to work with my wash cloth.
The woman sighed. “Sorry to cause such mayhem, Miss. I’m sure you weren’t planning to wipe the-”
“Miss, Miss!” A light voice interrupted.
The woman and I turned our heads to the toddler. She was cute, wearing pigtails and ribbons and a little chain with plastic bananas around her neck. Her brown eyes were wide.
“I’m sorry, Miss. I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to show Mummy something. Look, I drew her a picture! It’s the big tree in our garden.”
I smiled at her. “That’s a pretty picture. Hey, Amy, right? Do you want me to tell you a secret?”
She nodded eagerly. The woman got back on her feet as I finished up the floor as well as I could. Then I turned back to the girl and started wiping the table. The woman settled back into her seat, lifting her cup and motioning at the little one to secure her drawing utensils.
“Listen, Amy, you see the tall guy over there, behind the bar? The one with the brown hair and yellow shirt, like the one I’m wearing?” The girl nodded. “His name’s Matthew. He’ll make you a new juice if you draw him a pretty picture. How’s that sound?”
The girl gave an excited squeak. Then she wriggled in her seat and got to work.
Her mother smiled broadly, relieved, and thanked me. I smiled back before returning to the bar, taking a few orders and waving at Felix and Tina again.
“You’re too nice.”
I shrugged at Mary-Anne, occupied with typing the orders into our tablet.
“Matthew’s gonna cut off your tips one day, you know.”
Mary-Anne was 48 with wild brown curls that she kept in the tightest bun and piercing black eyes. She had a son in drama school in Lethbridge and in constant disagreement with her, especially because she’d desperately wanted her son to become a doctor. Still, she was much more of a delight to be around than any other adult in my life.
“No, he won’t. He knows the importance of good customer service,” I said pointedly, before snapping my eyes to my unbelievably tall boss and catching him with a grin on his lips. “Hey, Matt, you’re gonna get a drawing from an adorable little girl in exchange for an apple juice. Please don’t disappoint her.”
Matthew shot me a thumbs-up. Mary-Anne scoffed, but a small smile lingered on her lips.
She’d been working at LLV for ages, years before I’d started and she had used to be distant at first, insisting I’d only gotten the job because my chem tutor Will was an old friend of Matt’s. Which wasn’t necessarily wrong. I’d been in desperate need for a way to keep the bills paid while studying at U of T and ever since my parents had cut the money chords, I’d been barely scraping by. But I had proved myself. I had Matt now. And Mary-Anne. And the LLV.
And life didn’t seem as pointless as it had used to.
“Hey, Teddy just came in.” Matt said suddenly, making me whip my head to the door.
“Usual spot?”
After his small nod I grabbed the little notepad and sauntered over to the round tables by the window front, right by the terrace, and spotted her familiar mop of brown hair and gesticulating arms. She was with two guys and another girl, all dark-haired and wearing light coloured shirts. I felt like a burst of spring in my yellow top.
And I wasn’t even fully at the table when Teddy waved at me frantically. “Lacey! How you been?”
I grinned. Teddy was one for the books. Always happy, always bubbly. One of my favourite customers, especially on Kid’s Sunday.
“Now that you’re here I’m fantastic. How’re you, back in your old space?”
She laughed. “My favourite space,” and tapped the birch table twice. I took the opportunity to look over her company, my gaze getting stuck at a certain face, adorned with curls and a bright smile. No way.
My grin became involuntarily bigger.
“Shawn? Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in ages!”
Obviously this was a blatant lie. I’d seen him everywhere. On billboards, on magazines, on TV, YouTube, Instagram...the guy was all over. But years ago, when he hadn’t been a world-famous singer, he’d just been the guy sitting next to me in Algebra, struggling on problems and having a laugh if we got it totally wrong. And English Lit. Oh, and biology. Kind of.
Shawn’s eyes lit up. “Lacey Windsor? The Lacey Windsor?”
“Yes! Oh my god, this is-” I didn’t get to finish my sentence because Shawn sprang up and pulled me into a hug, tight and friendly. I grimaced upon remembering the last time we’d hugged. Actually, the last time we’d even seen each other. Graduation. 2016.
I leant back from the hug, mind flashing to that warm night in June and how we’d danced like idiots, sneaked drinks into our gym and sat on the bleachers after the parents had left. Katherine, Ivy, Brian, Shawn and I, not my usual crowd, but Lisa and Theo had been impossible to keep trace of the whole night (ah, yes, young love) and so I’d somehow ended up with the cool music squad after Shawn had taken pity on me and called me over. Only to be sat next to my on-and-off crush of almost two years for the next something hours. It had been a great night. I still called Ivy a very good friend to this day.
“It’s so nice to see you, Lacey! How have you been?” Shawn sat down again, staring up at me expectantly. Suddenly I felt jittery.
“Yeah, I’ve been good. What about you? What are you up to nowadays, rockstar?” The nickname rolled over my lips too comfortably, considering the last time I’d called him that.
He laughed shortly, opening his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by Teddy’s slow drawl of a voice, which was one of the things I liked most about her. She didn’t let anyone rush her.
“Wait, you two know each other?”
I wanted to giggle at her raised brows and dropped jaw; also, I wanted to cry at the suddenness of this situation. I’m just as surprised as you, Teddy, trust me. Her fingers dangled in the air, motioning between Shawn and I.
“Yeah, we sat next to each other in school.”
“Algebra was a bitch, wasn’t it?” Shawn immediately regressed to talking to me again, looking up through his long lashes and with his signature grin; and I was 16 all over again. Shit.
Before I could even try to answer, Teddy spoke up. “So, like, you two have been totally unaware that you’ve practically been living in the same street for what - almost a year?”
I shrugged unsurely, feeling incredibly out of place. “I guess?”
Life had a funny way of playing out sometimes. Then I gaped (How did she know where I live?), but was once again cut off by Teddy who continued with a quip in her voice, eyes glistening with mischief. Oh, she was enjoying this.
“Yeah, remember when I drove you home that night, Lacey? When you were drunk out of your mind? I even said that you live conveniently close to the guy I write songs with. Remember?” Her drawl changed into a chuckle. “You were so confused about my job...”
It clicked. Of course I remembered. Three months ago, the night Teddy had become more than a customer - a mutual, an acquaintance, a friend. In other words, an enigma with the most intriguing life I’d ever witnessed (except for, you know, the guy I went to High School with who rose to international stardom before even graduating). I shook my head at her. Unbelievable.
“Wait...so you mean to tell me that the girl you’ve been wanting me to meet is Lacey Windsor? Lacey Windsor from my High School? That’s too much of a coincidence.” Shawn stared intensely at Teddy. I kind of wanted to crawl into a hole. Had she been trying to set us up?
Sure, we’d had a heart-to-heart once, had been somewhat friends ever since then (and I might’ve told her how much I used to like Shawn Mendes when he was still my ‘dirty little secret’, by which I had actually meant High School classmate) but apart from that, I’d pretty much only been her waitress. The only thing special about me was my great sense of favouritism.
And she’d wanted Shawn to meet me?
Teddy looked between Shawn and I, visibly disappointed in the new developments. “Well, my plan to get you two laid obviously backfired.”
My jaw dropped and I sputtered for a moment, alarmed. “You - we...what do you mean get us two laid?!”
My voice got unexpectedly shrill at the end and Teddy had definitely picked up on it. She was smirking now. I felt Shawn’s gaze on the side of my face, with mouth still hanging open and I wondered if he had noticed too. I ignored him. Don’t ruin this. Shawn cannot know about your childish High School crush on him. He has millions of female admirers now. He’s a fucking teenage heartthrob.
Teddy and Shawn were suspiciously quiet. (Probably freaked out.) My face heated up. How would I get out of this without making it awkward?
I cleared my throat. “Well, thanks for your concern, Teddy,” I shot her a pointed look, “but I don’t need you to get booty calls for me. I can manage on my own just fine actually.” Then I looked at the two unknown witnesses on the table, gripping my pencil tightly and ignored Teddy’s glinting eyes. She still found this amusing.
I jotted down everyone’s orders, making contact with lingering eyes and timid voices. Maybe my outburst had been a bit, well, much. I wasn’t usually this harsh, especially not with customers, but seeing Shawn like this, completely unexpected (even though obviously kind of planned - what the fuck, Teddy?) and immediately being accused of needing to get laid in front of him and also by him, that had been a bit much, too.
To put it nicely, I was kind of pissed. I had not envisioned catching up with my crush from algebra and English and biology through a dumb booty call. And a failed one, at that.
I avoided their table for the rest of the day, even though the four had already been out the door only two hours later. Teddy holding her phone up on the way out and warning me of a call that was to ensue later while Shawn had twisted his lips into something distantly resembling a smile and had given me a short wave. I was miserable.
“You overreacted, Lacey. Teddy was just trying to be nice. How could she’ve known that you know him and that you’ve admired him from afar like a middle schooler for ages?”
Mary-Anne was huffing and puffing, scrubbing the surface of the bar that Matt had - as usual - made a mess of.
“And she was right too. You haven’t been with someone in a while. You’re twenty-one, for god’s sake, get out there more! When I was your age, let me tell you –“
Basically, she blurred the line between mum and best friend a lot. Not to mention brooding older colleague, which was a role she only seemed to play when the LLV was overflowing with customers and sometimes, that truly was my favourite.
I groaned quietly, staring past her and sorting through today’s empty glass bottles. Clear in the red basket, green in the clear, plastic in the massive IKEA bag. Yeah, maybe not indulging in Mary-Anne’s talk would make her shut up. Maybe, hopefully.
“And Lacey Windsor, he is handsome, that Shawn guy,” she continued after a short silence. My face contorted into a whine. My heart raced. Handsome. He is handsome. Was handsome. In High School. Shit.
Aren’t you supposed to grow out of childish crushes at some point?
“And he was so polite, dear. You should give him a shot! Maybe just give him a ring? Shame if not, he was so into you too. Downright sad when I brought the food and not you, he was. You should’ve seen it!”
Now I whined out loud. “Stop, Mary-Anne. Please. I can’t -”
She had the audacity to giggle. “Can’t what? Contain the butterflies?” Whistling and grinning, she focused back on wiping the bar. I pierced her with a glare, a mixture of annoyance and disgust at her giddiness. When had my life become the subject of entertainment for other people? First Teddy, now Mary-Anne?
She was about to wipe down the sink when she chirped, “Man, I wish I was young again,” and I cracked, exclaiming,
“Mary-Anne, it’s not as fun as it seems.”
She winked and my cheek twitched. On my way out, I caught sight of a drawing attached to the far left liquor cabinet: a stick-figure with a yellow shirt and brown ponytail, carrying a massive pen in its hand. It was signed with scraggly letters, crooked but genuine. A-M-Y.
Teddy didn’t call that night. She came back to LLV three days later, on a Wednesday evening as I was covering for Matt on the bar. It was getting cold already in Canada and the flu had hit last week. Which also meant that LLV was unusually (and conveniently) empty.
“Lacey, I’m so sorry about Sunday,” she said, sliding into the bar stool right across from me. “I didn’t even mean the whole getting laid thing, it was supposed to be a joke. And I absolutely didn’t mean to offend you or something, or to meddle in your love life, but I just thought it’d be nice for you to meet someone to distract you from Nate and, let’s be honest, that dry spell of yours has been going on for three fucking months and I thought-”
I staggered, taken aback, and decided I needed to step in before she went too far with her rambling, “Well, hello to you too, Teddy,” I said, clipped, and continued mixing the Cuba Libre the blonde surfer dude from 7 had ordered, torn somewhere between laughing and fuming.
When she remained silent, I brusquely added, “Didn’t know you were so familiar with my sex life,” and stared at her. She shrunk slightly.
“Listen, I know we don’t exactly know each other in a conventional way and I didn’t mean to overstep.” Then she squared her shoulders and I knew I was in for a lecture. “But honey, it’s also not exactly rocket science to figure you out.”
I raised my brows in indignation. “Sorry?”
The relationship between her and I was weird, to say the least. We were mostly business. Waitress-customer kind of thing. But then, once I had cried in front of her because of Nate and she’d taken my drunk ass home, she came by in the evenings, sat down at the bar and asked me how I was doing. Eventually, I became curious and returned the question, and so we’d been bonding over the noises of my colleagues, costumers in all kinds of moods and the sound of the cocktail shaker for about three months. As the time went by, we became mutuals who saw each other once in a while and chatted about life, nothing serious, but also not nothing.
“Lacey,” she sighed, looking at me with her big blue eyes. Sometimes I despised her for being eight years older - and probably wiser. “I’m not stupid. You obviously haven’t been with anyone since Nate. No, don’t give me that look. You reek of sexual frustration.”
I gasped. “Excuse me?!”
This was new. Discussing our sex lives when we had usually focused more on my rather embarrassing moping about past loves. I slapped her forearm. “It’s only been two months and we really shouldn’t be discussing this here.” I gestured around the business of LLV, then moved to finish the Cuba Libre and put it on my tray. And I was off, leaving Teddy alone at the bar, shuffling to 7 and back, getting stopped to take orders a few times. Where on earth was Mary-Anne when you needed her?
“So,” Teddy’s voice filled my ears as soon as I got behind the bar again, only to be interrogated. “I did the maths. Two months? Who on earth did you lure in between your thighs and didn’t even bother mentioning it to me? Remember me? The person you cried to after you and Nate broke up?”
I gave her a pointed look. Then I shrugged, done with trying to keep the secret. All my dignity was already out the window anyways. “Nate.”
Teddy’s jaw was on the ground for the next minutes that I spent recalling the events of that Thursday evening in early September where I had randomly called Nate because of a bad day, just to hear his voice. And how he’d actually been in Toronto for a few days and thinking about calling me too; how we’d somehow ended up grabbing dinner and talking about all the good times we’d had and then the bad times and how he regretted having to break up but loved his job in Vancouver. And then a good-hearted hug had led to lingering eye-contact and rough breathing led to kissing and spending the night on his friend’s couch.
Teddy regained her composure, sitting up straight. “So you’ve had your closure now?”
I nodded, reassured because she didn’t seem to judge, and then turned to the coffee machine to make her an Espresso. We bathed in the silence for a bit, not knowing what the other was thinking and also not particularly caring to disrupt, until Teddy initiated,
“Well, I had hoped you’d know by now but I gave Shawn your number.”
I whipped my head to face her. “You did what?”
She held her hands up, surrendering. “I know, I’m sorry. But he was persistent. And I really don’t get why you insisted on ignoring us that hard on Sunday. Did he do something to you in school?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Have you met Shawn?”
“Yeah, right. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Teddy rested her chin on her palms, studying my face as I concentrated on the coffee machine. I was doing a miserable job of concealing the twisty feeling in my stomach. Just thinking about what Teddy might’ve told him about me prior to coming on Sunday. Did he think lowly of me now? Working as a waitress, struggling to pay bills and apparently relying on customers to get laid? No, he wasn’t like that. I knew him. Had known him for years.
“So, what I’m guessing is this,” she was back with the drawls, “You were embarrassed.”
She radiated mischief and satisfaction, even more when I moved to shake my head. A poor attempt at dignity.
She erupted in a toothy grin. “Don’t even try denying. You are so easy to read.”
I put the hot Espresso in front of her with a huff and a red face. How dare she?
“Then again, so is Shawn; he was burning to talk to you the whole time. I’m actually really surprised he hasn’t texted you yet.”
Teddy was saying all this very nonchalantly while blowing on her Espresso, like she hadn’t just revealed that Shawn had obviously been thinking about me too. I stared at her taking a sip. Then she looked up at me. I was distressed. Shawn? Burning to talk to me?
We’d gone two years without talking to each other and graduation seemed like another lifetime already. I tensed. It felt so long ago that he’d taken my hand on the way to my house. And it felt even longer ago that his breath had fanned my face when he’d let go of the hug at my door, when he’d kept his hands around my waist and looked from my eyes to my lips.
And that final, infinite moment right before I’d leant in, all ragged breathing and beating hearts and my first real kiss.
(Now that felt like an outer body experience at this point.)
I’d never told him that he was my first kiss, of course. We’d looked at each other afterwards; him scratching the back of his neck, me fiddling with the straps of my bag. The empty glass bottles rumbled inside it and I had hesitated when I said, “That...That was nice and all, but, and don’t get me wrong, I’m drunk and this was probably a mistake. I guess, you know, you’re a rockstar and practically on a world tour in a few days.”
And he’d lingered for a second, then nodded and well, then he was gone. For two years. Gone, but never really. It had proved quite difficult to ignore his existence when he became a celebrity. So I’d done the only thing any reasonable person trying to get over a crush did: Unfollowed him every-fucking-where and changed the radio station when a song of his came on. The only real connection I still had to him was my friend Ivy, but she had understood to shut up about him in front of me. Especially when I got with Nate a year and a half ago.
Somewhere around that time, I’d also gotten a new phone and I hadn’t even bothered to text him my new number. Still, I found myself wondering if our kiss had meant anything to him like it had to me back then.
I suddenly jerked my head, willing that thought out of my mind. Which didn’t go unnoticed by Teddy.
“Windsor, why am I getting the expression that you two have history?”
Clicking my tongue, I delved into the story.
Seven hours later, I laid in bed. Phone in hand and Shawn on my mind. My tiny room had nothing but a glass laptop table from IKEA, my wooden childhood bed and a few clothes racks (also IKEA, naturally). The rest of my stuff was stored in an array of cardboard boxes beneath the window, labelled with creative tags like cheap high-tech (chargers and various cables I had no idea how to use), pics to laugh at, pics to cry at, good books, trash books or, my favourite, a massive binder that read paid bills. I was a picture perfect (broke) university student.
My room was also freezing because I had forgotten to close my window this morning and I heard the faint sound of my roommates Timothy and Charlotte respectively watching movies in their rooms. Sucks to be sandwiched.
I envisioned what Shawn’s apartment must look like. It was probably really spacious, with big windows and high-ceilings. Minimalistic in furniture and full of music stuff. My fingers hovered over the keyboard; I stared at his contact info. Shawn Mendes.
Who was I kidding? What would I even text him? And would he even bother to reply at all?
I decided not knowing was better than being disappointed. At least I could still entertain my fantasies that way.
(A/N: Haloooo! I am reeaaaally not a writer (I prefer to read) and I just made this because I thought of something while looking at this pic of soft shawn. Sorry for the grammar mistakes/typos!! Anyhow, hope you enjoy this random imagine!)
After finishing his set, Shawn went to his dressing room to freshen up. While changing into another white shirt, he heard Y/N’s voice outside his dressing room door. Hurrying to put on his shirt, he opened the door frantically while eyes look for the dark brown ones he longed to see. In saying yes to doing this festival tour, he knew he wouldn’t see Y/N’s face for a long time. And the five months without her has been pure torture. It also doesn’t help knowing that he still can’t reach her for almost 2 days. While walking to the green room, he saw Aliyah talking with Andrew and Geoff.
‘Shit, do you think he knows? She tripped infront of his dressing room.’ Geoff said.
‘I know who’s here?’
‘The girl who cried. The one who got passed security and into backstage? She got in again.’ Aliyah replied, not sure if the lie would work.
‘Oh, okay.’ Defeated, he headed to the green room with Aliyah where Manny and Karren were talking excitedly. He flopped down the recliner, laying his head back while closing his eyes. Unknown to him the happy mood everyone was in. Him being the only one feeling down, heaved a heavy sigh.
‘Are you feeling okay, honey?’ Karren asked.
‘Just tired.’ Shawn replied. He missed Y/N so much, it was driving him insane. His mind drifting to the time when he tried to call her before and after the set. Remembering that she didn’t answer, he let out another sigh.
‘No answer?’ Manny asked, trying to hide the smile thats making its way on his mouth.
‘None. Went to voicemail.’
‘Why don’t you try again?’
‘I already did, the same thing happened.’ Seeing that Shawn is very much disturbed, Y/N got out or her hiding spot and aligned her head with his. Shawn noticed the movement, he just didn’t mind it. He also didn’t mind the unusual behavior the whole team had all day long.
Breaking the silence, Y/N started ‘Hi’
Opening his eyes, Shawn notice the girl he has have been thinking about staring right at him. Only, she was upside down from his point of view. Once everything sunk in, he moved to get his girl back in his arms.
However, he underestimated how close their faces actually were, he only realized when he moved to get out of the chair. The people in the room didn’t know what event to focus on. Whether to cheer and be happy for the couple who haven’t seen each other for such a long time, or to laugh at how careless Shawn was, which actually resorted to him bumping his and Y/n’s foreheads. Hard, mind you. Everyone heard it. The group chose the latter, laughing with everything that they have.
‘Oooww oh my god my head oh my god you’re here oh my god I’m so sorry oh my god baby you’re here!’ Shawn rambled this while helping Y/N to her feet and into his arms while saying it all over again. Y/N, actually crouched down and held onto her forehead, massaging it to relieve the headache that started to form due to the head bump her boyfriend had caused.
‘Okay, I knew Shawn would be excited but this is so much more-...’ Aliyah barely formed a sentence. Everyone, including the couple, was laughing so hard that their stomachs were already hurting.
..........................………
After seeing Manny, Karren and Aliyah off, Y/N, Shawn and the rest of the crew was back at the bus. Andrew, giving another ice pack to Shawn said laughing,
‘This is the best surprise’
‘I agree, and disagree. Shawn, your forehead is so hard.’ Y/N answered with a smile of amusement because of the embarassed face her boyfriend is making.
‘I don’t know whether to say sorry again or say how happy I am to see you, or to thank you guys. But I agree, that I agree and disagree that this is the best surprise. Wait, what did I say?’ a confused Shawn said while placing the ice pack on Y/N’s forehead.
‘Shawn, you’re the reason why my head is hurting. Literally’ Y/N said, which caused Shawn to chuckle and place his lips on his girlfriend’s head. The couple made their way to the back of the bus, where Shawn usually sleeps.
‘Let’s go to bed before our headache gets worse.’
‘We should, you wash up first.’ Shawn said kissing Y/N’s temple.
........…………………………
Now laying down on the bed, both want to go to sleep but also want spend time more time awake together.
‘You know, I heard you and Liyah earlier.’
‘We know, we noticed the owner of the dressing room too late. Good thing Geoff was there.’ Y/N rembered cursing when she tripped because Geoff suddenly pulled her and Liyah to the side, knowing Shawn was usually finished with his shower by that time.
Comfortable silence wrapped around the couple cuddled on the bed. Y/N is half asleep when she noticed Shawn’s steady breathing and heartbeat. Thinking he’s asleep, she can’t help but say the words that have been dying to be said out loud. If it weren’t for the amount of people that was there with them, she would have said it the moment she saw him for the first time after five months of not seeing each other.
‘I missed you. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say this earlier, couldn’t think straight,’ she giggled remembering how Shawn basically head butt her upside down. ‘Definitely learned my lesson, will definitely not do that again. I don’t think I say this enough but I really really like you. And being away from you for so long made me realize, that you really mean everything to me. I’ve fallen for you, and I just hope you feel the same way.’
Not knowing Shawn was awake the whole time, her heart leaped when she felt him move and tighten his arms around her. Shawn, having said the same thing the last night before going on tour, can’t help but turn her around and kiss her. Pouring all the emotions in that one passionate kiss. After getting over the shock, Y/N kiss back with the same amount of passion.
‘You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words. You were asleep when I first told you I’ve fallen for you, but now I’m going to say it again. I love you, Y/N. I love you so much I am willing to bump my head again, just to make sure this isn’t another dream. I love you’ Shawn said with teary eyes, knowing that he is awake because his head is still slightly aching.
Y/N can’t help but say it back and when she did, Shawn reconnects their lips for the nth time of the night. After a few more kisses, the couple finally fell asleep, knowing they were in the arms of the person they love. The person who is worth more than a silly old bump.
