#shear madness

[instantperson]

I went and saw "Shear Madness" at the Kennedy Center last night.

My only thing to bemoan was that they could have made an Ides of March joke. Either way, someone got stabbed for being a crazy tyrant in that performance.

[ricky-mortis]

I saw Shear Madness at the Kennedy Center the other night and good lord it was so good.

If you live anywhere near DC, I heavily recommend going to see it bc oh my godddddd. Seriously- super funny and the set is incredible and the actors are so talented. And it’s interactive!

Anyways yeah I drew Tony and Barbra :) .

[happyllamaglama]

Every dang time

alpacolor.ch

[emilyrosebass]

Tabatha Coffey Wasn’t a Bitch, She Was Just a Lesbian

Why Lesbophobia Is To Blame For The Reality TV Star’s Stone-Cold Reputation

We’ve all seen the meme: The letters B I T C H spelled out vertically, each attributed to some meaningless characteristic (B = Bimbo, Blonde, Barb, I could go on).

The picture originated from a 2017 Ted Talk by Tabatha Coffey—celebrity hairstylist, winner of Shear Genius, and host of Bravo’s early-2010s reality TV show Tabatha Takes Over—who spoke of the relentless criticism she’s faced throughout her career. Tabatha intended to show that her negative image could actually be tied back to positive qualities: Brave, Intelligent, Tenacious, Creative, Honest. But quickly, the image became a parody of itself: A joke about how absurd it is for neoliberal feminists to care enough about the word “bitch” to try to reclaim it, or try to spin it to be anything but negative. I get it—There are bigger fish to fry, and in 2020, a white woman dissecting “bitch” feels a bit like grasping at marginalization straws.

But also...maybe Tabatha Coffey had a point? 

In retrospect, it’s obvious Tabatha’s reputation as a bitch is rooted in lesbophobia. She’s written off as domineering and cold—negative qualities misattributed to lesbians. She doesn’t conform to what we think a woman “should be,” particularly in relation to men; rarely is she maternal, never compromising. Tabatha never makes herself small. Instead, she remains firm, career-oriented, confident, and self-assured. 

It’s no coincidence that she’s usually called a bitch directly after setting a man straight (And, trust me, these are men that deserve to be put in their place). In S1E3 of Tabatha Takes Over, Tabatha is repeatedly patronized by Martino, the owner of Giovanni Pileggi Salon, who called her in to help save his failing business. Throughout the episode, Martino alternates between calling Tabatha “hon” and “a bitch,” as if he’s still trying to decide whether he wants to top her sexually or professionally. “If you call me hon one more time I’m going to whack you upside the head,” she finally snaps, “I’m not your hon, I’m not your sweetie, I’m not your baby, I’m not your darling.” She, fairly, sets up a boundary with men in the workplace—She’s here to help advise, not to be demeaned. But it’s this boundary that solidifies her image as a bitch. He retorts, “Most women aren’t like Tabatha: Stone-cold soldiers.”

Now, I’m not going to deny the fact Tabatha is a particularly quippy host. She has some great one-liners—That is her job, after all. But sassy hosts make for good reality TV; it’s one of the medium’s earliest and most successful tropes. Many of her contemporaries, including Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum, are known for making offhanded biting critiques, too, and they’re never written off as cold-hearted bitches. You know who is treated like a bitch? Nina Garcia—LESBIAN. (Just kidding, I just wish she was. Nina, if you see this, I <3 you).

Despite her sometimes-harsh remarks, Tabatha is a fantastic host, a wonderful mentor, and a skilled stylist. She is obviously invested in helping people reach their highest potential: constantly giving positive encouragement, helping stylists get training, and suggesting promotions for employees who rise above. And in many situations, Tabatha exhibits extreme empathy and understanding—qualities she’s misdeemed incapable of. When one salon owner explains that her business fell to the wayside after her mother’s death, Tabatha comforts her. She says, “You have a lot going on. The things that you’re worrying about truly are life and death. It sounds like you left a little bit—Are you prepared to be present in your business again?” Tabatha is business-minded and motivated, but she doesn’t lack humanity, as many so accuse. 

It’s easy to write off Tabatha’s “Call me a B.I.T.C.H.” mantra as deflective or sensitive (To be fair, this does give me “A bitch is a female dog, dogs bark, bark grows on trees” vibes). But I think she deserves far more credit than she’s given. Tabatha is an icon, a mogul, and she’s got amazing hair and even better outfits. If she came onto the scene now with the same attitude, she would be absolutely adored, not discarded. 

So can 2020, a year of reconsideration and reflection, be the year Tabatha Coffey finally gets her flowers? She’s tough, she’s talented, and it’s time she takes over!!!

[rickinmar]

The Charles Playhouse, Boston. Built in the 1830s as a Unitarian Church, with Asher Benjamin architect. By the 1920s was a Jazz Club. Blue Man Group has been continuously performing here for something like 25 years. Shear Madness has been performing here as well, for 40 years straight. It is the longest running theatrical show in the country.

[fastsalad]

Shear Madness highlights

I just saw an improv show called Shear Madness and guys. This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I’m going to type out some of my favorite moments from the show while it’s still fresh in my mind.

First, let me introduce the characters.

Tony owns a hair salon, and Barbra works for the hair salon. They are disaster gay and bi respectively and share one collective brain cell.

Eddie is my least favorite character, he’s a businessman who’s just overall kind of an eh person.

Mrs. Shubert is an old rich lady with a butler etc.

Nick and Mikey are cops. Mikey also has one brain cell and him and Nick have some good buddy moments.

Ok, now onto the highlights.

Before the show formally started, the characters walked out one by one. Tony spent the whole time doing Mikey’s hair (and probably flirting with him) and dancing to songs like the YMCA with Barbara.

Right after Mikey ran from the room looking slightly afraid, Tony asked who was going next, and Nick and Eddie both pointed at each other and went, “He is.”

Nick first came in as a customer (as did Mikey, I forgot to mention that before.) and he was wearing a Walgreens shirt, so Tony went, “Oh, do you work at the Walgreens?” And I found that funny, I don’t know why.

Tony ‘shaved’ Nick’s face, and by that I mean he put literally ALL OF THE SHAVING CREAM ONTO HIS HAND AND SLAPPED IT ONTO NICKS FACE.

When Mrs. Schubert first came in she told them she needed her hair done and proceeded to show them and Tony said, “Oh my god you look like Donald Trump.”

“I auditioned for Naked and Afraid. Naked, of course. And you know what they said? We’re afraid.”

The first act just got more and more chaotic until it was revealed that the lady upstairs (Isabel) had been murdered and the cops burst in and there was a complete blackout.

Nick messed up Mrs. Schubert’s name many times. The one I remember was ‘Mrs. Shoebox.’

They were all questioned individually. First Tony, then Eddie, then Barbara, the Mrs. Schubert.

“What do you want?!?” “I want you!” (Leans against the wall) “Oh go ahead.” -Tony, being questioned.

“Do you think [Barbara and Isabel] were in some sort of... Lebanese relationship???” -Nick

Everyone who was not being questioned was in the supply closet, so when Nick got fed up with questioning Tony he yelled, “GET BACK IN THE CLOSET!” And they both just stood there pointing at each other and nodding and Nick broke character and started laughing.

Nick: “Did you hear any of their conversations in there?” Mikey: “No! Mrs. Schubert keeps talking in my ear! ‘Yakity yakity yakity.’” (Mikey opens the closet door) Mrs. Schubert: “Yakity takity yakity...”

Tony had two cats named Bill and Hilary.

“I went upstairs and the room was filled with smoke! I couldn’t see Hilary so I went, Hilary! Run! And she said, never again.”

“Who is Pookie Schubert?” “That’s the name I use when I Twitter!” “...I think what you do is tweet.” “And I think what you do is terrific!

Eddie said that he drove a red buggy or something and Mikey punches Nick in the arm and yelled PUNCHBUGGY NO PUNCH BACK and ran out of the room.

Nick: “Are you going to Bermuda with him?” Mrs. Schubert: “GOD no! I wouldn’t go anywhere with someone who drives a red buggy.”

Eddie insulted Mrs. Schubert by calling her an antique and she held up her purse like a baseball bat and charged at him.

Tony: “She’s gone out with half the guys in DC!” Barbara: “And he’s gone out with the other half!”

Nick: (reaches an important point in the argument) “Mikey, you got all that down?” Mikey: “Yeah he’s gone out with half the guys in DC.”

Nick and Mikey did a handshake at one point.

Mikey was just really a really awesome and adorable dumbass overall.

There were at least two “That’s what she said” jokes.

The audience participated in part of the investigation and when Nick revealed us to the four suspects they all made these exaggerated faces of disgust.

Barbara couldn’t remember what happened up to the murder for a while, and when she did she had some STELLAR acting.

A LOT of people in the audience thought Mikey did it and Nick had to kind of descretely tell them that he wasn’t an option.

Tony was voted as the guilty one (I voted for Eddie) and he did an AMAZING JOB snapping and trying to stab Barbara with the scissors, revealing himself as the murderer.

Nick: “MIKEY! Watch the door.” (Mikey stares at the door) Nick: “From the outside.”

In the sort of epilogue Nick said something like, “You guys voted for Tony this time, but tomorrow night it could be Barbara! (Cue Barbara doing a weird pose with the scissors/murder weapon) or Eddie! (Cue Eddie doing a weird pose with the scissors/murder weapon) or even Mrs. Schubert! (Cue Mrs. Schubert doing the weirdest of the poses with the scissors/murder weapon.

That’s all I remember right now but if anything else comes to mind I’ll reblog this with that.

[e5b409]

for centuries it was believed the shears twins were actually triplets and after years of searching here she is the missing shears sibling britney shears  

[knight-in-sour-armor]