#shieldagentweiss

[empatheticagent]

Ray suddenly sat up in bed, breath coming in short, sharp gasps. As he did every time he awoke from the same nightmare, he put a hand to the scar on his head as if he expected it to be freshly wounded again. It wasn’t. Shakily, he moved his hand to his ribs which were of course, still in one piece. He wondered briefly if it was actually some sort of bizarre side effect of his powers that he felt his nightmares were actually happening. Or maybe it was just that he still had a lot of issues surrounding that particular event? Maybe it was in fact side effects of being around Sterling when he’d been in a state, even though Ray had thought he was barely effected compared to usual?

Whatever it was, Ray hated it. He was hurting, he was shaking and struggling to breathe. 

He shifted to sit with his knees to his chest, staring off into the dark as he focused on breathing. Relax. It was a couple of years ago. 

Maybe avoiding people when he was off wasn’t the best strategy? He’d chosen to spend the last couple of nights alone and ended up having the same damn nightmare every night. Normally it only occurred once every month or so when he was close to having a panic attack, not as a constant recurrence. He couldn’t keep doing this, hiding and pretending it didn’t happen, especially if it was becoming more frequent. It may be possible to hide it from coworkers, but he couldn’t keep it from Clay, not for long. Ray let out a sigh and reached up to wipe tears from his face. He’d have to bring it up sooner or later. He couldn’t just keep avoiding seeing Clay until the nightmares settled again. What if they didn’t? 

Ray had no idea what time it was as he reached for his phone, didn’t bother checking as he unlocked it. Scrolling back through some of the messages he hadn’t replied to, Ray wondered if he should just get it over and done with, even if it was the middle of the night (or possibly early morning).

[agentariannagrace]

@shieldagentweiss

Ari looked up at Clay, one brow raised. “And why would I answer that question?”

[empatheticagent]

@shieldagentweiss

It had been a struggle, but Ray had managed to make it through the rest of the afternoon without getting himself into more trouble. Thankfully, his coworkers had left him alone and he’d even managed to get a little bit of his work done. Luckily, he could get away with it after having been sick the couple of days beforehand. He was impatient as he waited for the message, quickly disappearing once he’d gotten word that Clay had finished his work. It had lessened, but the emotion he’d picked up earlier off the other man was definitely still lingering as he waited outside the Shield building for him.

[agentariannagrace]

| @shieldagentweiss

She came to work a little late, coffee and pastries in her hands. She stopped at Clay’s desk, a sheepish expression on her face. “Hey kiddo. Apology breakfast?”

[empatheticagent]

[text: From Clay] Our paperwork is turned in 🍆 😉

[text] It didn’t get lost? I’m joking, I didn’t think you’d do that.

[text] So we’re official now? 

[agentariannagrace]

She’s never had to do this before. It’s never been her job, to walk up to an apartment door and knock. 

She can barely get out the words, the news tangled in her throat and threatening to strangle her.

She knows she needs to visit another house, another state, another parent, but she can’t. She hasn’t cried since the moment her phone had fallen on her desk.

She will finish this.

She leaves a brother sobbing, and she can’t bring herself to stay, to comfort him. She leaves her card, and walks away. He’s agreed to tell his parents, it saves her the effort. She’s not sure she can do it, say the words again.

She hates that she can’t even say how he’d died. It’s all covered in red tape and black marker and the only reason she knows is because she has to, to put all the information together, to do her job.

Fuck her job.

She burns the clothes she wears, never wants to have to give that talk again.

[agentariannagrace]

@shieldagentweiss

Ari’s having a rough morning. It’s been years since HYDRA was revealed, years since Sovesky died and his past brought to light, and she’s still finding little tidbits left over from his tenure. At the back of one of the filing cabinets was a picture of the department right before SHIELD was infected, before the fucking sickness that took 5 of them. They never did get another secretary. No one could replace Nina.

She spends the morning before anyone gets there walking among the desks, her old one, Ben’s, Gordon’s. She stops at Waverly’s old desk, knowing in the back of her mind that it hasn’t been hers in a long time. That she was done with SHIELD. That Ben and her had disappeared. It breaks her heart to think of it, to think of her old family. She’s the only one left. The only one who came back when everything reformed.

She shuts her eyes against the tears forming.

[agentariannagrace]

“Hey! You reached Clay! Probably out doing something awesome though. It would be WEISS of to leave me a message so I can get back at you... Get it? WEISS. That's me. That's my name. LEAVEAMESSAGE!”

Her fingers hit the end call button, shaking and a sinking feeling in her gut. She’d been on edge since Sterling asked if she’d seen him.

She’s in a new office, one at the other base, and she has a phone and she’s working on getting all the information together, everything that Sterling had sent, everything that she has, everything there is to bring this son of a bitch down.

She calls again.

“Hey! You reached Clay! Probably out --”