#ship advice

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

"being available to help people is kind of ingrained in her, but unless Lena texts to check in on her, I don’t see her as the one to initiate. And I can speak from experience that when others stop initiating, you stop initiating too. So how long would it take Lena to stop expecting any kind of explanation whatsoever, and just consciously make a decision that “if this is the only way I get to have time with Kara at all, so be it” ...OUCH im kara in this situation so thnx forthe perspective onthis

I’m glad my experience helps give some perspective of being on the other side of the equation. I know I can’t be the only person who wants to feel wanted. And who finds that validation in having someone’s undivided attention. 

Maybe you’ll find a partner who understands and appreciates what you do for your friends. Maybe they’re the go-to friend of their own friend group, or they’ve been on the receiving end of that kind of drop-everything support, and therefore understand how important it is to the people who need it. 

But with enough communication, it could simply be a matter of compromise– where a partner might understand and support your desire to be available to your friends, but in return they get to have some nights with you where your phone is turned off and they get to have all of your attention.

I can imagine it’d be really hard for a partner to express their unhappiness and say “I want you here with me” when the problem isn’t a matter of punctuality but you helping others. 

If you can be the one to open the door on communication regarding that aspect of your life/personality, and check in on it as your relationship progresses (because I guarantee their initial response will always be “oh god of course I understand” because who would ever say “helping your friends is bullshit”?) then it’d probably go a long way towards helping your partner get that “feeling wanted” validation, and allowing them to feel like an equal part of the equation.

[evartandadam]

How can you combine a realistic view on characters and a unrealistic ship? I always start destroying my headcanons because of the canon.

Hahaha do you mean how do I ship crack and ignore canon, while also making that ship recognizable as the canon characters?

I am a huge stickler for canon, actually. Mostly on a character’s general personality and values. If you stray too much from the canon character, they aren’t even that character anymore. 

I have two categories for ships- ones I actually want to see in canon, and ones I play around with for fun. For example, I love Sasosaku, but only in au’s. I think their characters’ personalities are an interesting recipe, so I like playing with their dynamic. But I don’t think they go together in canon at all! 

Canon is my bread and butter when it comes to talking about canon. But if I want to have some fun, I will! It’s important to recognize that fictional characters are literally just compiled characteristics, and those characteristics can be messed with. Imagine being a scientist experimenting with concoctions. 

So I guess a crack ship can appear “realistic” because if you still hold onto their canon personalities and core beliefs, and they have a good dynamic, people like the ship. Like, you can take away Sasori being a puppet, or even a killer. He is still Sasori. But if I made him extroverted or overly sweet in order to fit with another character romantically, that ship isn’t “realistic”. Because in order for it to work, I had to change core aspects of his character. And now he is ooc.

An unrealistic ship can just mean in canon, the two characters never interacted. But that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t go well together. People who have too much time on their hands (like me) get bored with normal, popular ships and enjoy playing around with uncommon ships. And if you have a good sense of what makes a good couple in real life, I think that can translate to your headcanons and ships. So you don’t have to stick to canon perfectly for your ship to be “realistic”. You just need to keep the core of what those characters are, and they will still be recognizable as those characters, aka “in character”. 

Hope this answered your question! 

[turntechgoahead]

Hello. I would just want to say you seem like a very nice person and your blog is great. But i have question. Do you currently like someone very much? It is because I was wondering if you may help me figure out if I truely like this guy, I mean as maybe advice for me. We have only just met, and he has a great smile and personality, but I am afraid to ask him out on a date.

ohhh thank you, you seem like a sweet yourself! 

It’s complicated with the person I like, I havent totally expressed my feelings, and I am usually the type to hide them away. I have dated people in the past though, so I know how scary it can be at first. 

You could do one of two things, ask him out right off the bat, and see how you two work together in the long run, or get to know him and determine your feels over time.

The first choice can happen by simply asking the person if they would like to hang out (SPECIFY IF IT IS A DATE, OTHERWISE CONFUSION AND THINGS WILL HAPPEN). That’s for more mature dating, where you sit across from each other and do a non traditional interview. I’ve done that before, and it worked (i asked for their number in the lamest of ways) 

If you think he’s really great right now thats a good start!  You should get to know him a little more, and ask him about what he likes.

If you’re the shy type, use some conversation starter.  find some random way to start a conversation and take off from there. Like for instance, if the person you like is  wearing a t-shirt with a logo of something, ask them about it. If you’re a fan of it, or know a bit of it yourself, points for you! you have somewhere to start. If not, get them  to tell you a bit about it. There’s also asking about music, or just overall common interests! If you have mutual friends, use that you your advantage as well.

some major questions to ask yourself would be

Can I picture spending infinite time with this person?

Do they interest me in conversations? 

Do I want some one who is witty/ is the person witty?

What do I like about this person? 

Do you think about this person throughout the day? 

Are they nice to animals?

Are they nice to me? 

Am I ready to be in the romances?

My last few relationships have ended because we were either polar opposites, and never saw eye to eye, or we just couldn’t find the time!

((i’m sorry if this sucks, i feel like this is something better explained verbally))

[ndc-rphelper-blog-blog]

Hi! I need advice when it comes to RP relationships. My character has been with this other character for some time now, and I'm not feeling it at all, but when ever I try and have the characters split up, the other completely forgives mine. What should I do? Should I talk to the mun?

Hmm… Sounds a bit like real life doesn’t it? Though I am kind of interested in how they forgave you for the break-up… The problem might be that you just weren’t clear enough. When it comes to relationships in an RP world, subtlety is not your friend. Why you may ask? Simply because your not actually there to bat your eyelashes or close yourself off. The other mun can only see what you write unfortunately.

I would advise trying to break up again, making sure that you are VERY clear in your intentions. The words “We should break up” need to be spoken, because otherwise you could confuse the other mun, which leads you back to where you are now. Now, if this doesn’t work, or if this is what you did in the first place, I think talking to the mun should happen. Be weary of this though. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and there is a likelihood that will happen.

When/if you talk to them, just make sure you are very professional about it. Try not to say things like “I’m not feeling it” “The relationship is boring” etc. Things like, “The chemistry has just died down and I think my character and yours would do better apart” or something almost cyclical like that.

I really hope this helps and I wish you the best!!!

Let me know how it goes!!!