Thank you!! 17 wound up being incredibly long fdhjkdfhk so I will put 35 first and then put 17 under the keep reading.
35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?
I’m not sure if this counts, but I guess… the idea of canonicity or having certain things set in stone? Like, sure, I do have canon versions of my stories, but at the same time, if I’m sad about something happening, I just imagine or write an AU where that sad thing doesn’t happen, for example.
Or, I like to use the characters from one world and put them into another. Me and my friend @siekko do this all the time. For example, we have our “main” world, but we also have a highschool and college world with the same characters, and a world set in the 1920s (not my story but my friend lets me play around in that world too). They’re all “canon” though because they’re all different stories, but we explore the characters going through different situations than they do in other worlds. I just love reusing characters and seeing how things go differently or similarly between stories.
17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.
I guess my main WIP right now is called “Loveless.” It’s a fanfic for my friend’s story, which is a tragedy set in the 1920s. There’s a ton of characters in the longer story, but my fanfic is mainly about my favourite character Shirley (my friend’s character) and Onyx (my character who my friend generously let me put in the canon version of the story!!)
Shirley is a really messed up and complicated character, particularly in this 1920s story. He makes the kid that he should have taken care of as a daughter do free child labour for him in exchange for a home, and he’s super prideful, jealous, and has a huge ego. At the same time, he’s really got a lot going against him: he’s Asian and a movie director/producer in a time when there was so much racism and segregation, especially in show business. He’s also a trans man in a time when he would have gotten very little support or help (not to mention if he was outed it would ruin his career), and I think the isolation and fear from that really adds to his issues.
He’s bisexual too and, at least in my story, feels a lot of confusion regarding that because of internalized homophobia as well as being trans. He felt guilty for being attracted to women when he was presenting as female, and now that he’s presenting as male, feels guilt and some dysphoria for feeling attraction to Onyx, his best friend who is also a man. Onyx is one of maybe three people in the world who knows that he’s trans, and he feels a mix of disgust towards Onyx for feeling romantically towards a man, and fear/dysphoria that maybe Onyx doesn’t see him as a man after all.
I start the story from Onyx’s POV, where Onyx is planning to confess his feelings to Shirley. Onyx pretty much had his life changed by Shirley. He was a depressed recluse who never left his home after his wife ran away with another man. One day, he randomly decided to watch a movie created by Shirley, and something changed inside of him. He was able to get a job and start going out of the house again all because Shirley’s art inspired him so much. Getting to meet and become friends with Shirley was a dream come true… but he found himself falling in love with him. Onyx is very timid and is very emotionally dependent on Shirley; he’s extremely afraid of rejection, but at the same time, he just has to get it off his chest.
It… doesn’t go well. Shirley harshly rejects him and ends their friendship, leaving Onyx in tears and despair. They never meet again after this in canon. Shirley passes away shortly after from a heart attack and Onyx later dies from grief.
I’m writing an AU/fanfic of my own fanfic right now where Shirley changes his mind and does accept Onyx’s proposal dfhkjkhfdfd. This is from Shirley's POV. I have a long flashback section detailing Shirley’s backstory with Onyx, how Onyx saved Shirley’s life a long time ago when he was still presenting as female and gave him new meaning in his life. Shirley would let himself die when the theatre he was performing in was burning down, if it weren't for Onyx coming to save him and begging him to live. Shirley was able to begin his new life all because of the nudge Onyx gave him, and he is deeply grateful to Onyx for it.
Then, I want to get into what’s getting in the way of Shirley saying “yes.” He loves Onyx, but there’s so much trauma and fear getting in the way. What would it take for him to be able to say yes and do what his heart wants? How can he trust that Onyx will keep his secrets safe and that he really does love him? I want to make this section really romantic and beautiful and put all of my feelings into it. I really want to make Onyx, as a cis man, to be really gentle and understanding of Shirley's situation and showing affirmation of Shirley's gender, but also for Shirley to be able to accept his love and let go of the past.
I know why the canon version of the story needs to be tragic, but I want them to be happy so bad, this is my coping AU dfhkjfdkhfd… it’s romance but it’s also emotional hurt/comfort... two flawed people finding safety in each other, healing from the past, and being able to trust somebody you love.
🌹 one more rose cuz I'm desperate for your writing
Bro... <3 Thank you awwww, these are some deleted scenes from BHC when I was thinking of putting some Leilane flashbacks in. I was going to have some parallels between Leilane failing and Shirnyx succeeding, and Onyx worrying over whether his Khat crush would fail too fdkjhfddf. It didn't really fit though, so it's just been hanging around in the doc for ages dfjkhdffd I hope it's not too boring!
“Sometimes I think about how fortunate I am that Leila’s never shown much interest in boys.”
Blinking, Onyx looks up from the paperwork on his desk towards the couch in his office where Shirley now reclines. Despite Shirley’s business-like appearance in his everyday mannerisms, he rarely does work at the desk that Onyx had ordered for him when they first began sharing their office ten years ago. Rather, he tends to sprawl himself over the couch, his papers spread everywhere, organized by a system that only Shirley’s brilliant mind can comprehend. Onyx was shocked when they first became partners, but now finds Shirley’s habit amusing—especially considering the amount of work he gets done in such apparent disorganization.
But of course, the most important thing here isn’t Shirley’s position on the couch, but what he’s said. In all honesty, Onyx has never given CJ’s interest in boys (or, rather, lack thereof) much thought. She’s still a little girl, after all—
Shirley chuckles, but Onyx hears a hesitancy behind his laughter. “She’s getting to that age, you know.” He lets out a bit of a sigh, relaxing a little further into the couch cushion, his expression bemused. “Not that I’d mind grandchildren, mind you. But I’m picky. Very picky.” He laughs again. “I almost feel sorry for the poor boy who falls for my Leila.”
From the tone of his voice, Onyx can tell that he’s definitely not sorry. It’s endearing how transparently disdainful Shirley is towards this poor hypothetical fellow. “I think I feel more sorry for him than you do,” he laughs. “You’d enjoy terrorizing the boy.”
“Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn’t.” Shirley smirks, staring up at the ceiling.
...
“CJ, dear, I’d… I’d like to help you, if I can.”
“It’s Leila. She… I thought she…” CJ rubs at her eyes, dark streaks cascading down her face. Her voice shakes uncontrollably. “Even just last week, she said that she l-liked…” A sob escapes her, and she hides her face in her hands. “I thought she was in… in… that she liked me; I don’t know how I misinterpreted everything so badly. I messed everything up, and now she hates me and she’ll never want to see me again and I ruined our friendship and, and, and…”
Hesitantly, Onyx reaches out to her, and just as hesitantly, CJ leans against him, her body stiff, trembling.
Now he understands.
...
“What’s the problem?”
“Oh, nothing.” Shirley says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Leila only has a boyfriend. I can’t believe she’d do something like that without consulting me.”
“Ah. I heard.” The words slip out before Onyx can stop them.
Shirley blinks. “Did you?
...
“I almost wouldn’t have minded, really…” Shirley smiles ruefully. “If she had to like anybody, your daughter would be an inoffensive choice.” He laughs a little. “But then I’d be seeing you even more than I already do, which is already an exorbitant amount of time.”
Thank you bestie <3 This is a lot longer than a sentence dfjhkfdfd it's part of a Shirley and/or Shirnyx College AU story. I'm calling it Insincerity for now... it's just kind of a Shirley Mental Illness story I wrote for funsies like a month ago that'll probably have hurt/comfort later when Onyx gets home. I'll show you the full thing whenever I get a bit more done :)
Shirley wishes he could talk to Cheryl.
He misses her so, so much. But he’s so rarely able to talk to her. Mah is a day’s drive away, but at least he knows where she is. If something bad happened to him, he knows that she’d be by his side within hours. But Cheryl moves around constantly, travelling the world as her performance career develops. He doesn’t even know where she is half the time. They used to talk every day, but now, the shifting time zones so often prevent her from calling him. His calls to her go unanswered seven times out of ten, with only an apologetic text hours later promising to call later.
Cheryl doesn’t have time for him anymore.
He shouldn’t be upset at her success. But he is.
And that makes him a terrible person.
She’s just busy. It’s understandable that she’d have to make some sacrifices when beginning her career…
That’s not the only reason she doesn’t call you.
If she really loved you, you would be a priority over her career.
She can see through you, you know. She can see the coldhearted selfish monster that you really are.
She was so happy when she was able to move out and start her career, wasn’t she? Know why? It’s because she doesn’t have to be around y--
“Be quiet.” Shirley weakly mutters the words, his fingers digging savagely into the pillow, as if he could strangle the words from that voice’s invisible throat. “You don’t know anything.”
Keep telling yourself that.
You know, your boyfriend’s probably the same as your sister. He found somebody else that’s more fun to talk to and realized what he’s been missing, hanging around with you so much. He’s off enjoying himself, free of you.
“He wouldn’t do that.” Shirley spits out the words, ignoring the cold dread creeping through his body. “He loves me more than anything.” But all of Onyx’s sweet nothings and his kind words and reassurances all swirl into a mass within his memory; in his panic, he can’t pick anything out of the void to hold onto. Did he really say any of those things? Was it all in Shirley’s head?
Rules: write the latest line from your WIP and tag as many people as there are words in the line. make a new post, don’t reblog.
I haven’t written any new fanfics for quite a while, I feel so bad... but I’ve been writing a lot of stuff with me and my friend’s OCs, so here’s a little of my main project here!
This is much more than just a line dfjfhkffd I’m proud of this part, but I’m putting it under the read-more because it’s long, so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to, haha. I’ll tag @ms-enmystic, @dazais-guardian-angel, @gemstoneslesbian, @kyoukalay, @pajcali, @teaofdestiny, and @shocotate if you would like to do this!
Shirley coughs. “I really do… appreciate you giving me that phone call five years ago. Giving me that chance to be your partner. So I’m just doing the same for you. It’s… repaying a debt, of sorts”
“Can we keep doing that?” Onyx doesn’t quite understand why his face is so warm, but he keeps going. “Helping each other like that? It doesn’t have to be about paying a debt or anything. I just… I deeply appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and...” He looks away; his face is growing so hot, it will be obvious if Shirley looks at him. “You really are more than just my business partner. You’re my… my best friend.”
A best friend, a partner, a…
He doesn’t know.
But he wants to find out.
Even out of the corner of his eye, he can see Shirley’s eyes widen. “Onyx…”
Perhaps it was foolish of him to ever ask such a thing. He shouldn’t have said anything. “Of course, I’m… I’m fine with keeping things to a… a business relationship,” he murmurs, stumbling over his own words.
“Onyx, you’re… you’re so funny.”
Onyx blinks, looking up towards Shirley. His business partner--no, his best friend’s smile is the warmest that he’s ever seen before. “There’s no need for a formal confession.” But Shirley’s hand comes to rest on his shoulder. “But of course we’ll keep working together. Just like we always have. And Onyx… I’m not going to say this often. It’s… difficult for me to say things like this. But you’re my best friend, too.”
Onyx probably looks ridiculous right now, sitting here late at night, inches away from his business partner, grinning like a fool. But he’ll be a fool for Shirley, for his best friend, for…
He can’t say it out loud.
But he’d gladly be a fool for the man he loves the most in this world.
3. What is your OC’s worst memory? 9. What is the greatest sacrifice your OC could ever make? Under what circumstance would they make it? 22. What is your OC the most guilty about?
for Onyx?? Give me old man angst, any universe is fine
Thank you for asking about my old man!!!! This is so long I'm sorry fdhjkfdhjkfd I talked about Lumiverse mostly, but mentioned how things would be different in other universes.
3. What is Onyx’s worst memory?
I think that, in Lumiverse, Onyx has had three worst memories, and just as he’s starting to “get over” the past one, a new one opens up the wound again :’)
The first one would be the death of his parents; this happens in every universe, and happens when he’s around 16-18. They die very suddenly and traumatically, and Onyx irrationally blames himself for it, despite having nothing to do with their deaths, somehow believing that some bad thought he had toward them, like maybe being angry at them for some reason, was what led to them dying.
The second one would be the moment that his ex-wife left him for good. At the time, he didn’t know that it was the last time that she would drive off into the distance, but looking back, he can remember every detail of that moment. And just like the memory of his parents’ deaths, he keeps wondering what he did to cause it.
(The details are a bit different in WFKF, but there’s a similar last time he sees her which really messes him up. And since she was just Onyx's Club Penguin girlfriend in the high school AU and they were never actually a couple, he doesn’t have this same level of Traumatic Memory here fdhfkdhjkfjd he still misses her though and wonders why she ghosted him; it’s part of why he’s a lot calmer and more well-balanced in the high school AU though I think)
And the last worst memory would be when he thought Shirley was dying. That was the worst of them all for him. He truly thought that he was going to lose the man he loves most in this world, the person who changed his life and taught him so many things, his best friend and true love. He still remembers every moment, the feeling of Shirley’s lifeless body in his arms, and the way his voice sounded over the phone. He can’t go back into Shirley’s old house without panicking because it reminds him of that time. He tries not to bother Shirley about it though, since Shirley’s the one who actually went through the heart attack and he doesn’t want to burden him, but he’s very clingy and overprotective ever since that moment. He’s never going to let something like that happen again.
9. What is the greatest sacrifice Onyx could ever make? Under what circumstance would he make it?
It’s cheesy, but I think that the biggest sacrifice Onyx could make would be to let Shirley go if that’s what he wanted. I kind of imagine that there was a time about halfway through their business partnership where Shirley considered working for a different company, or starting his own business. Onyx would’ve been devastated if this happened, of course, and I think he was really tempted to buy Shirley’s loyalty and friendship, thinking of all sorts of things he could offer him to make him stay. But he couldn’t do that in the end. He only wants what Shirley wants, and if Shirley wants to leave, Onyx would let him. But it would break his heart to do it. I don’t think the business would last much longer after Shirley left; Onyx would shut things down and hide away from the world.
22. What is Onyx the most guilty about?
It’s definitely the way that he treated CJ growing up. It’s even worse in WFKF, where Onyx was so depressed after his wife left him that he literally locked himself away in his bedroom for months, and CJ had to take care of herself, until she couldn’t take it anymore and ran away to the circus. In Lumiverse, it was slightly better, where he still took care of her needs, but pretended that money and presents would solve everything, and gave her a ton of things while almost never spending time with her.
There’s not really any coming back from what he did in WFKF, although the two of them awkwardly meet up a few times a year to watch a movie or have tea, and Onyx watches her circus shows pretty often without telling her he’s there. He never reaches out to her though, knowing that she really is better off without him. In Lumiverse, Onyx still believes that she’s happier without him, but does make an effort to spend time with her after his depression gets better (and spoils her rotten… she doesn’t need a car to match each of her outfits but he gives them to her anyway fdjkhffd). But he still has massive amounts of regret over how he acted when he was younger, and refuses to repeat the same mistakes with his granddaughter Lumi or with any future grandkids he might have.
Hey, I really enjoy your writing! 🎁&🗝 for the Ask game, if you like 💘
Awww thank you so much, that means so much to me!! 💖Sorry this is pretty long but thank you so much for asking!!
🎁 What writing advice would you give a beginner writer?
Oh man… I have a few tips, but they’re all pretty basic haha, I’m not sure if they’ll be much help. My biggest tip is to read books--and this is something that I don’t follow very well myself, I’ve honestly barely read the last few years, although I used to read tons when I was little :’)
But honestly, the more you read, the more you’ll be able to see what you like about writing styles, and what you don’t, and you’ll be able to build your own style. Feel free to steal bits of writers’ styles and synthesize them into your own unique writing personality.
Another tip, if you want to write fanfiction, would be to rewrite an existing scene from another character’s point of view. Don’t try to change anything: just focus on getting into the characters’ heads, imagining why they might be feeling the way that you imagine they do. Get really into the details--like if the character takes a step forward in the canon material, tell us why they did that here. It might seem like overkill, but it can be a really fun exercise for really immersing yourself in a character and imagining that you really are them.
The biggest tip I have is to find somebody you can share ideas with when you’re stuck. I know that’s easier said than done, but having a friend to write with is such a precious thing. If someone is interested in hearing about your ideas or OCs, tell them, and be that person to them as well. It’s a wonderful way to make both of you happy and to help each other develop ideas.
🗝Give an example of a motif/symbolism you have used in a WIP.
Honestly, most of my symbolism is very clumsy… I tend to use it when I’m writing about something that I want to hint at, but don’t want to outright say (such as if a character is suicidal), but I’m not that good at it.
This one is cheesy and clumsy, but I do like it a lot. It’s from my OC story Broken Hearts Club, which is the Shirnyx thing I keep talking about nonstop dfhdjkdf. In this story, my character Onyx keeps wearing the wedding ring that his ex-wife gave him for ten years after she leaves him. One day, he loses it and panics because he’s afraid that means she’ll never come back.
Shirley helps him to look for the ring, and in the end, they can’t find it, but Onyx grows to be at peace with it, and now realizes that he loves Shirley. I wanted to write it like this because I wanted to show that Onyx was completely over his ex-wife when he realizes his feelings for Shirley, and I also wanted to show that Shirley wants the best for Onyx, and would help him look for the ring even if it wasn’t what he would personally want for Onyx himself (since he’s also in love with him at the time + didn’t know that Onyx’s ex was terrible when he helped Onyx look).
About ten years after this, Shirley gives Onyx a ring (as a best friends present djfkdffdfd), and when he gives it, this is the moment that HE realizes he loves Onyx. Shirley “takes away” a ring from Onyx ten years earlier (by not finding the one Onyx lost), and now he’s giving Onyx one of his own, and coming to his own realization, just like he helped Onyx so long ago.
There’s also a lot of recurring (cheesy) “broken heart” motifs in this story too; Shirley has a literal “broken heart” that nearly causes him to die, but he’s also struggling with a metaphorical broken heart from guilt that he’s carried for a very long time and from a longing for a love that he thinks he doesn’t deserve to ever have again. The two kind of bleed into each other too, as his regrets and longing are sort of what trigger his near-fatal heart attack.
I’m so sorry if you didn’t want to read several paragraphs about shirnyx dfkjhfdfdfdfd but thank you so much for asking!!
