#64personal

[cry-stars]

I can't take credit for this as it was something I was talking about with my friend. but as we were watching DR3, we noticed that izuru often says "tsumaranai/how boring" whenever he sees something that would be particularly traumatizing or frightening to most people. One example is Chisa's brainwashing/torture scene, and another is when the future foundation attack ships are coming to Jabberwock. As we were talking, we theorized that, because of the trauma and torture that Izuru has been through, seeing these traumatic events is likely still traumatizing or distressing, but he will dissociate as a way to cope with seeing these things, since visible emotion and fear were punished out of him during the kamukura project. but he perceives the feeling of dissociation as emptiness or boredom, which is when he will say this. it almost seems like a phrase to ground himself.

[cry-stars]

💖🌸🌹💖🌸🌹💖🌸🌹Izuru Kamukura 💖🌸🌹💖🌸🌹💖🌸🌹

[cry-stars]

one thing I started to think about is Hajime and emotional sincerity. I need to examine this more in depth whenever I (finally) get back to my playthrough. But one of the very first things that we see about Hajime in his introduction scene is that he thinks introductions are "embarrassing," and that he does not consider himself important enough to warrant an introduction. Additionally, throughout the game, he is almost always very quiet, and while he has many sarcastic or funny remarks in his mind, he often just waits for a scene to play out before saying anything.

He seems to hide his feelings and only lets them out when he's alone--the screaming in his room scene is often laughed about, but it's very telling about him. He keeps his fears and anxieties to himself, and then lets them out when he's alone, or not at all. but as he grows closer to his friends, he begins to say some very vulnerable and sincere things to them--things like that he refuses to let Gundham die, promising to marry Mikan and protect her, or letting himself get verbally upset about having been (seemingly) lied to by Komaeda in his last FTE instead of remaining quiet like he did most of the game with him. No matter who he's with, he says some things that I, personally, would feel very vulnerable about saying: but he considers his friends to be worth the risk of the possible rejection to his feelings. I love seeing the development. Hajime is a very sincere and heartfelt person, but I think it's the trust that he's lacking that stops him from sharing those sincere feelings, and as he builds a bond with his friends, he's able to share them without embarrassment or fear.

[cry-stars]

I think about this picture a lot because there are many funny things about it and also one sad thing. Let's get the sad thing over with first:

1: Mechamaru is not only sitting by himself, but sitting a whole seat back from everybody else. There's so much joy in his face and he is trying to enjoy his second lease on life as much as possible. But throughout this chapter, he is constantly ignored or treated awkwardly by those around him, and you can see it very clearly in this picture.

Time for the funny things:

1: Everyone's faces. Most people are having fun and it's so cute to see. It might be expected that Souda wouldn't enjoy himself with his motion sickness, but it's especially funny to me that Gundham is having such a terrible time. I also love Komaeda's pained smile.

2: The way that none of the seating arrangements are ship bait. These are such rarepairs that I don't even know the names to any of the ships of the people sitting next to each other. It had to have taken conscious work for the artists to choose pairings this rare. Hinata especially is shipped with nearly everybody under the sun, but I've never seen art of him and Sonia before (despite him actually being quite enthusiastic to marry her when she proposes).

3: The fact that Komaeda is sitting next to Oowari, who is the person who tries to choke him to death a few days from now.

[cry-stars]

I bet it would feel good af to tie up all your limbs, slash up your thighs and arm, stab a knife through your hand, and drop a spear through your stomach, while your mouth is duct-taped closed so nobody can hear you screaming

[cry-stars]

it just hit me how hajime planned a suicide of his consciousness to become izuru in the kamukura project, but izuru planned a suicide of his consciousness to become hajime again in the NWP

[cry-stars]

I made myself sad thinking about Chiaki

[cry-stars]

hey what if komaeda and hinata kissed... what if they did that...