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i can't believe i have someone who likes my fic so much that it appears on that person's chrome homepage...!

#64personal #i wrote a new sentence today... are you proud of me (i might be able to write more tomorrow)#(i think my other fic got me able to write better again and i don't hate my already written stuff as much now)#i have rewritten this chapter 5 times now like in full... aaah....

if homophobic hajime is really dead then i'll mourn him forever.... i feel like i got ghosted by my evil boyfriend that i loved more than anything

#64personal #come back baby

i love hajime's hourglass waist in dr3

#64personal #every time i see a dr3 screenshot i want to grab his waist

i don't know if anyone else will understand this. but sometimes, i usually have a very strong feeling for something, but the feeling has (temporarily?) faded. and i know that i want to feel it again, so i just keep acting like i still feel exactly the same while waiting for it to come back. but i keep being scared that the passion won't come back and that i'm living a lie by acting normal. i think it's normal for interests and feelings to fluctuate, but when i don't feel them at full throttle then i'm worried they're gone forever. i hate so much when this happens

#64personal #it happens whenever i can't write for example #i'm always scared that this is it and i will never write again because i somehow suddenly stopped loving writing #or it happens for people i know i love but if i stopped thinking about them constantly #i worry that i actually don't love them anymore even though i did an hour ago and will again an hour from now #or if a hyperfixation fades then i'm like... do i even exist anymore... am i just an empty shell #i'm running on 5 hours of sleep sorry for my existential crisis #i just like consistency and when even a small thing changes it makes me overthink everything #delete later probably

the blog preview for a beloved mutual wasn't working for a second and i got so scared i got blocked dfhjkfdfd

#64personal #i was like djkhdf what did i do wrong...#i didn't do anything it's okay... nobody i like hates me for now

i veer between liking "friends who never kissed before to marriage" and "they are having sex every day but still think they are platonic friends" with komahina postgame so i just write both and everything in between

#64personal #i'm giving up on having a consistent postgame world i think fdjhkhkj #if it was completely consistent it would be a prison...#maybe if i write enough postgame stuff then i can have actual ''canon'' to them and write stories that line up with each other

I’m going to get my period for my birthday </3

#64personal #it seems to happen almost every year #and then I can’t eat any of the yummy food or have any fun #I hope I get it early or something

the people on ao3 see my “professional” side and the people on here see my insanity and nervous breakdowns

#64personal #this is why I only have my Tumblr in the author’s notes of LAFF chapter 20 #for those who are brave enough to see my true self….#I’m surprised I haven’t scared away more people

#64personal

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